Hey guys , and welcome back to another episode of your Brain's Coach podcast . My name is Angela Sharina , I'm your host , I'm your Brain's Coach and it is my job here to bring to you , discover with you , share with you and start applying all of that to our life , all these brain-body tools so we could use our emotions , create better emotions , better thoughts and , most importantly then , take better actions consistently so we shape the life experience that is fulfilling , that is meaningful , that we absolutely love . Living . Folks , today is all about purpose , about your why , and the hope of today's podcast episode is to change this complexity of this idea of why and purpose and meaning and fulfillment , make it simple , make it easy , make you understand better why you might be struggling with it and not just you , but the whole world that seems struggling with their purpose and meaning and fulfillment , like why it's happening , the simple reason for that , and then also how you can start getting better at it . Just like you at one point got better at , perhaps , cooking , there was definitely a point in my life when I was a worse cook and then I learned , and then now it's a skill set for life and just like that , your purpose can also be as simple as cooking once you put some wraps in . So folks , did you , or do you wonder sometimes why , all of a sudden , there is this loneliness epidemic , there is this meaning and purpose epidemic , and people are , for the majority of people , that is the reality . People are lost and they're in transitions and they don't understand where they are going or supposed to go . And why Do you ever wonder why it's happening right now ? Another question to you Are you familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs ? And if not , you can Google it or ask Chad GPT Maslow's hierarchy of needs , of human needs , what it means , how it looks . If you Google it , you can find images . And so Maslow's hierarchy is something that he noticed after doing probably a lot of research and analysis , that people tend to care more about different needs as they progress on their journey with satisfying those needs .
Speaker 1For example , at first you need to take care of your physiological needs , things like air , water , food , shelter , sleep , clothing , reproduction , you know , like maintaining your body , your physiology , in a good enough state so you could have an opportunity to think about higher things like your , for example , status or your job or your health , and creating abundance and prosperity and working on different ideas . So first you need to be fed right , you need to sleep , you need to make sure you have drinking water , and basic health care needs to be taken care of . You need to be sure that the lens of life are not chasing after you and you are safe . And speaking of safety , safety needs are the next one . It's about personal security and having a job and resources to maintain certain kind of living and certain standard of living , and then again basic healthcare access to that , and then again basic healthcare , access to that , and then having I don't know property and again a place to live Like all of this better , maybe , place to live . So safety needs come second .
Speaker 1And then the third one is love and belonging , friendships , intimacy , family , a sense of connection . Like-minded people tribe and you see , the thing is folks . Why it's it's good to look at this hierarchy of needs is that for a lot of us , especially if you're listening to this podcast , that's probably is the case . You kind of took care of your basic needs like you're not dying . You're not dying , you have food to eat , you have a place to live , you can maintain your basic physiological needs just fine , and most of the safety needs are also at some good level probably taken care of Like you again are secure , nobody's threatening to kill you or there is no threat to your life . You have some sort of employment , you have some resources and basic again , healthcare . All these needs are kind of not for everyone in the world , but if you're again on this podcast , if you're listening to this and you are one of those who is lucky to have these needs satisfied and taken care of , now it's the next level love and belonging and connections and friendships .
Speaker 1And the thing is we used to have different tribes , we used to have villages , we used to have more consistent workplace , we used to naturally have some sort of tight bonds and we didn't have all these weaker connections on social media and we didn't move all that much . So we had our tribe , so to speak . Whether we liked it or not that much , that's another story , but we had it . We had our people and so we didn't have to worry about building friendships and building great family connections and having a connection with like-minded people . You kind of lived in a tribe , so to speak , locally , geographically . You had your neighbors , you had your family , you had your spouse , and maybe it wasn't the past that you could possibly have , but you had it and you didn't need to think of that . Those are the people you would see on a regular basis , if not every single day , then very , very regular . You would talk to them , you would do something together . You had a sense of community just because you were in one proximity .
Speaker 1And these days , everyone is moving , is looking for better options , and that's natural . There is nothing bad about it . We get more and more options and opportunities and that's a good thing . But nobody taught us how in this environment , to build friendships . Like I'm working on building friendships .
Speaker 1I literally ask people who I like , I admire , like , can we work on building a friendship ? I don't have right now a best friend , have right now a best friend and so when I get , it reminds me , by the way , to get in touch with one person who I really like as a friend and reminds me to get in touch with her because we are in different geographical locations and it reminds me to do that . So I as an adult , no matter how awkward it feels , I say it to people . You know I don't really have a best friend . Like I'm looking into you as a candidate for that , just pulling it out in the open . Yeah , sometimes you will . People might feel or think that you're a little bit weird , that that's a weird thing to say , but then , if they're the right people , they'll understand what you mean by that Love , belonging .
Speaker 1How do you build greater relationships with your family when you're not in the same location ? How do you build relationships with your like-minded tribe , whether that's work-related or your personal philosophy is related . That's why actually diets and exercise like CrossFit community is so popular . At least you have a feeling of some sort of commonality and belonging and those are your people , right ? So why is this loneliness epidemic ? Well , the environment changed a lot , a lot , a lot , a lot , and nobody taught us , gave us the workshops , the skills and these are the skills how to communicate , how to build relationships , how to build deeper connections , and that's why that's the epidemic . It was there and now it isn't , and nobody teaches us a better way .
Speaker 1Education system is lagging Now . There is no lack of resources . The books out there , the psychology research , how people bond . There is a lot , a lot of research and there are a lot of effective tools . How to do that , how to have the right kind of conversations , how to again , how conversations contribute to building bonds and how you show up for the people you want to build deeper relationships with , right . So there are plenty of resources , but they are not , like you know , a structured curriculum where you would get a degree in building human connections .
Speaker 1At some point there will be might be , but not at the moment , or our culture changes enough , so new things will become new norm . So new things will become new norm . And then we have other levels like self-esteem , respect , status recognition , strengths and freedom , and self-actualization and self-identification , desire to become the most that you can be . Those are , then , the higher needs , and there is no school curriculum , there is no degree in university , although some degrees might get closer to that , like if you study philosophy , or perhaps if you study coaching or behavioral psychology right , a lot of those disciplines would have a lot of tools for discussions , but they not necessarily teach you how to live it as a human being in real life .
Speaker 1And so why do we have this epidemic again of feeling lost or purposeless and not having love and belonging that we're all searching for , not having the purpose , the meaning ? Well , guess what ? You spend a few decades one , two , three decades learning how to make a living , how to build a career , how to exist in this world , how to cover your basic needs , but you spend almost zero time on learning how to figure out your purpose or how to figure out who you are . And the thing also about that is it's not like this process stops . At different stages in your life you're going to have different purposes , you're going to have different priorities , you might develop different values or , as you keep maturing and growing and changing , you will develop deeper ones so you understand yourself better . But again , nobody teaches that at school or in university . And so you end up as a fully grown adult , biologically , in your 30s and 40s , sometimes 50s and 60s , you grow up and you never go through a more structured process of figuring out your purpose , of figuring out who you are , what your values are , what you stand for , what's important in your life .
Speaker 1And this is a process and there are plenty of tools available , like you know figuring out your why . I like to give people this five whys worksheet . I like to give people this five whys worksheet . Or also there is a great book , finding your why by Simon Sinek and his team , based on his work in research on purpose and why . And there are many journaling exercises and frameworks . The one that I love recommending these days is by Jerry Colonna , executive coach really great coach and well-known in the community of founders , ceos , people who carve their own path right . He has on his website again Jerry Colonna someone you can Google coach , executive coach , if you Google that together . Owner . Someone you can Google a coach executive coach if you Google that together . So he has a year-long daily journaling course where to your email , he would send daily prompts and you would journal about that , to figure yourself out , to understand yourself better .
Speaker 1Before you can find your purpose , your values , you kind of need to think about it more and having a structure for this process is very important . Just like a lot of my clients , overwhelmed sometimes with new choices , new career paths , transitions in life , they tell me well , angela , I just need good structure . It's not like I don't understand it , but I need accountability , I need a system , I need support , I need some assignments , something that I know when to do , how to do what's the process , step by step . I just need that because my life is so complex . I need a little bit more structure here .
Speaker 1There is another book that I love Martha Beck's the Way of Integrity . It's how to get back to your true self , to your true center . There is positive psychology website that has a lot , a lot of resources on figuring out your values , your identity , your purpose . There is coaching . Obviously I can guide you through the process of figuring yourself out , finding your purpose , your clarity .
Speaker 1But the most important thing I want you to understand first is that it's no wonder why we all struggle with our higher needs of love , belonging and purpose . We didn't spend much time learning about that . Human beings excel by learning and so far we've had close to zero training on purpose , meaning , identity and belonging . So it's really a surprise that we are stumbling ? Probably not , and it's like learning to cook . If you've never tried boiling an egg , or my personal ones never tried making a steak , you'd end up chewing your steak for hours because you didn't realize that meat can get pretty tough if you don't cook it well . Or that egg can explode into your face if you put it in the microwave . Right , you learn it and you screw it up . If you've never seen a banana on TV or you don't have any concept of a banana , you'll chew right into the skin . That's what you know . Animals do you give them . They don't know you're supposed to peel it . You'll just bite right into that .
Speaker 1When you see a new food that you've never encountered before , you should understand how do I even approach this food ? The same with purpose , but those things are even more complex . So if you've never worked on it , how are you supposed to know ? If you've never worked on building the kind of relationship that you want , or even identifying the kind of relationship that you want , how are you supposed to know how to do that ? You're not . You're supposed to learn to get through some training , some proper structured education around those things , and then you'll get better , just like at everything else , that complex job that you do .
Speaker 1At some point you didn't know what the heck it was all about For my job . I very often can't even explain it to other people who are not exposed to coaching . What it is I'm paid for , but I am . I've been paid for it for decades now , and back then it was a lot more challenging . These days it's easier , but still you tell people what you do and they're like oh yeah , but I don't really get it yet . So , anyhow , the simple truth is you're not that great at building relationships , building love , belonging , deep connections and figuring out your purpose , simply because you were not taught how to develop these skills and these answers and this self-knowledge . We're spending decades on learning about the world and close to zero on learning about ourselves .
Speaker 1So what's the practical takeaway for you guys ? Well , practical takeaways is to start the work in some form of fashion . Your purpose , meaning of life , your values will not come to you just because you thought about that . The same goes to relationships . It's a skill set . A lot of working on relationships has to do with working on your communication skills . Where to start ?
Speaker 1Again , I mentioned a couple of resources . You can schedule our complimentary , free as a listener of this podcast session . Just reach out to me . Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom . Put in the title complimentary session , coaching session Angela at brainbreakthroughcoach . One word com Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom or Instagram Angela Brain Body Coach . So reach out to me , I'll put you on the right track with the right exercises .
Speaker 1At the very least , pick up the book Finding your why by Simon Sinek's team . Look up Jerry Colonna's 365-day journaling course . Look at the positive psychology resources Again , see what speaks to you . And another thing just starting to journal about what's happening in your head , you see a lot of answers , a lot of things that you don't understand , that you don't have figured out . A lot of answers to how to start getting closer to the answers you need . They're already in your head or they are on the verge of appearing , but if you don't stop and don't capture what's happening in your head , you'll never have a chance to notice that and do something useful with that .
Speaker 1So a very simple way to start getting raising your self-awareness about what's not working and what you'd like to get better at , or how you'd like to perhaps clarify your purpose , your vision in which areas of your life start journaling Just every day . Sit down and start with a page of what's in your head and you'll bring a much deeper awareness of what's actually happening in your head . At some point you'll understand why it's happening and what's producing those thoughts , those emotions , and then you'll start asking better questions and getting closer to what it is you need to work on to create a better , more fulfilling life experience . So that's your homework for today Check out those resources , schedule our session . Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom , email me or Angela brainbodycoach . One word on Instagram for our complimentary session Start journaling .
Speaker 1Another good one Check out the book Finding your why by Simon Asinic's team , and stay tuned for the next episode .
Speaker 1It's going to be an insightful and mind-blowing one . I'll also tell you why getting a specific kind of sleep , and also the tools to get it , will actually help you to figure out your purpose . And that's another biological reason why so many people might feel lost . A lot of people's sleep is so messed up and your brain's higher cognitive processes require the right amount of the right kind of sleep . So stay tuned for that episode that's coming up next , and until that , start journaling . Reach out for help , angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom . And until next time , just start thinking , start noticing and understand that the reason why you feel so lost is because you've never learned you've never been taught how to get un-lost . Chat with you soon . If you found value here , please do share with at least one other person who might be feeling especially lost and unmotivated . That's how we help each other and create better world and more positive impact and have an awesome below some grateful kind of day . Chat with you soon and stay on purpose .