Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your Brains Coach and it is my job here to share with you 15 years of coaching experience, translated into your brain-body tools, so you could take better control of your thoughts, of your emotions, of your actions and, most importantly, so you could create the life experience you absolutely love living. You know, I believe my profession is such a gift, not to even other people, but to myself, because I've learned so many tools of self-tinkering and transformation that anything in myself that I want to change it seems like it's so easy. Change became simple, maybe not always easy, but simple. Whenever it's not working, I'm like'm like well, there is a whole toolkit, and then I apply this toolkit from psychology, from neuroscience, from the best coaches and experts, behavioral change experts and then I change and I grow and it feels like there is no limit. And I look at myself and you know, are you familiar or maybe saw somewhere those bonsai trees, that small versions of different tree species? And then owners, and sometimes several owners, several generations of owners, take care of these trees for tens and sometimes hundreds of years and they bend them in so many different shapes by applying different techniques, and so sometimes I feel like I'm that bonsai tree and I'm looking at all the different tools and use them on myself, and obviously with my clients as well. We use a lot of them, and then I see how I can shape and bend myself and rediscover many different aspects of myself. And you guys, you contain multitudes. You are such a multifaceted being and most of us don't even know how we can evolve and grow, and that's what fascinates me.
Speaker 1But besides that, guys, I've been in coaching again for 15 years and this area of human psychology, of behavior change, how our brain works, memories, neuroscience, emotions and our logical mind, and how it all connects, it's just amazing and this is the golden era of human awareness how we are all evolving, the planet is evolving and there are tools and science have never been moving with such an accelerated pace well, at least not in my account and it seems that, at least in our history, that's the fastest moving era of human development Anyhow. So why am I telling you this? I'm telling you this that tools that I'm sharing with you, they're not just something I think is a good idea, they're all based on, very often decades, sometimes century, a couple of centuries of practices and recent scientific research, which again is a kind of a mix of something that's done in a so to speak, human lab and then in real life scenarios, or some based coaching. For some time I wasn't really a fan and I didn't really understand how exactly it works and why it works so well for changing ourselves. Awesome-based coaching it's about not hunting for our flaws. It's about not hunting for our flaws and traditionally or honestly, till quite recently in my life and in my coaching career, I used to be focused more on negative side of things, whether that was myself or my clients. I'm still in the process of rewiring, even though I got tremendously better with seeing the good first and working on amplifying that versus looking hunting for faults like what's not working and why is it not working? Let's fix it.
Speaker 1Awesome-based coaching, or bright spots-based coaching it's about two things Looking at things that are already working. Let's say you want to change your lifestyle. You might not be acing your nutrition, but let's say your movement practice really is picking up and you are enjoying it and you're loving it. Well, let that drive your transformation. And let's also look at why is it working. Why is it working so well? Why are you doing so well with this one domain of your health practice, whether that's your sleep and recovery, whether that's your practice, whether that's your sleep and recovery, whether that's your nutrition, whether that's your exercise, maybe a specific aspect of nutrition? Maybe you're really aiding your hydration, or eating your proteins, or eating your fruit and vegetables. Maybe in exercise, you're really great at just moving throughout your day. It's like your tracker thinks that you just never see. Maybe you're not that great at async, I don't know. Some resistance training, but who cares?
Speaker 1On Thursday we had a workshop. I organized a workshop for 60 people at a company and there At the end of the day, I said if you look at people who live to 100 and more, they don't do all of this stuff that the science knows we should be doing and all these minor details. When it comes to movement, it's not like people who live to 100 in different parts of the world. They are gym goers, actually. No, they just move throughout the day. They walk, they get their steps in. They don't sit uninterrupted for hours and hours. Very often, what we think we should be doing isn't even necessary for the results that we want, and having clarity around that, like what is really important. You know, during that workshop also, people wanted to know that, like what is important? What should I do when it makes sense for me to invest my time so I do take care of myself, but then also prioritize my work or my family, whatever is the most important thing right now for me? So we talked about that.
Speaker 1But let's get back to awesome-based coaching. So it's all about if you look at yourself and you often ask yourself, like what's wrong? Why is this not working? What's wrong with me? Try a different approach. Try asking yourself more often what is working? Where am I doing awesome already? What are the wins, the luck that life gave me already? And where am I privileged? The other book I'm reading on facilitation there was this discussion around we are all privileged and not privileged in some areas. So where are you privileged with what's already working for you and how can you bring that awesomeness, these bright spots, into what you might want to improve? So again, instead of asking yourself what's not working, where am I bad, why am I so bad here? Ask yourself what's working, where am I winning and how can I make this winning.
Speaker 1Perhaps pull up other areas or another way of looking at that where am I doing well and how can I use the same skills that allow me to do well in this area? How can I use the skills in other areas that might not be that great yet? So, for example, in my personal life not personal, but more professional I'm a coach and I get to practice understanding people every day and I can actually transfer the skill into sales and into content creation and into lead generation. Starting with this question what is this like for the person on the other side, whether that's creation of content, okay, what do I want these people to feel, to think, to experience, and where are they coming from? Who am I writing for and where this person is coming from? With what understanding to my content and how can I help them to change in some way or think differently in some way? Right, the skill of understanding people, and especially in things like sales. Sales is all about the process of sales is all about understanding people. What's this person on the other side experiencing right now and in this moment in their lives and what are the important things for them and where do they want to go and why are they interested and might be interested in this thing that I'm trying to sell.
Speaker 1Truly, understanding people is at the core of coaching, but then also it is at the core, I would say, of any business. If you don't understand the customer or the person who you do the business for, then you don't understand your business, because every business is here to serve someone, an organization, group of people or some purpose. So I can translate that. Or, for example, a lot of my clients are business owners and they actually they're very organized with the things where they want to be organized, like. For some of them, business is hugely important and when you succeed somewhere, it means you have a system there. Because, yeah, you can get lucky once, but if for a decade you get results and you keep building on them, it's not luck. You have a system. Maybe you don't always internalize or explain to yourself how this system works, but you have a system. So how can you use, for example, this systematic approach in your area where you lack results?
Speaker 1A lot of my clients come to me to work on their health habits, so I make them look into different systems that they use that work for them in their business or other areas of life, like relationship, and I ask them how can you use this organizational skill of yours in your health and in your fitness? How can it help you? You're already good at that. I'm not trying to ask you to develop a skill. You already are good at it. You just need to transfer to use the same skill in this other area. And then I ask myself the opposite question I'm so great with my health habits, I'm so great with my fitness habits, I'm so great with my recovery habits. How can I use the same skillset, the same system, and now use it in my business? And now I'm starting to actually do more and more of it and I started getting more and more results in my business because of it. I'm at the very beginning, but I started getting it. This is a system.
Speaker 1And then transfer this skillset and system into this other arena, your business growth, and you're going to ace it because I already have discipline, I already have consistency, I already know my hard work. I already know how to manage my emotions to get the hard things done. I already know how to make myself show up for the important moments. I already know how to navigate uncertainty and what to do when things don't work out. I already have all of the skills, and so now I just need to transfer to a different area of mastery, and it all comes back to the idea of awesome-based coaching. Where are you doing well already? Where are you already winning and how can you build up that area of awesomeness of you so you could master and ace other areas? That might be relationships, certain hobbies, your public speaking skills, your sales skills, your content creation skills, your growing your career, growing your family, whatever that is. Where are you already awesome and how can you use that awesomeness, this skill set that you have in that area?
Speaker 1Pay attention, how does it feel when you ask yourself this question, this awesomeness-based question, this bright spot-based question when am I doing well and how can I use this skill set, something that I'm already doing well in other areas? Or where do I have great results already and how can I build those results up? So this area perhaps pours over or pours the benefits over into other areas? Where am I doing well and how can I do better? Because of this skill set? It feels different versus where. Why am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me? Just feel into that. How it feels to be bright spots focused or awesomeness-based focused. How does it feel? You probably feel motivated and capable and empowered and skillful. And when it comes to consistent behavior change, we talked about that also at that workshop and somebody asked me in the audience Angela, do you think negative or stick method of basically being pushed or motivated by negative consequences, do you think that works better?
Speaker 1Or positive reinforcement works better. And I told him, for immediate action, stress and threat work better. They push you, they kick you into high gear really fast, but after the immediate danger goes away, so to speak, for long-term change, the change that lasts, positive reinforcement works better. It's kind of like with your dog or with your kid I know they're not the same but or your relative, spouses, friends, you can, or co-workers, your employees you can. Only shout and threaten people so much. Yes, if you have the power of authority, they will listen to you, but as soon as you turn around and as soon as you lose that authority for even a moment, they're going to reclaim their autonomy and will do the exact opposite, even just to show you that you are not the boss. That's just how human psychology works and that's also actually what's happening inside of you. When you keep threatening yourself, you can only get yourself that far, and then a little bit of moment of relaxation and everything in you is going to rebel and that's where you're going to feel like you're self-sabotaging yourself.
Speaker 1It's, I believe, a principle how our psyche works. Everyone talks about that. Every single expert in behavioral psychology talks about our need for autonomy, for independence, for freedom. So when we try to threaten ourselves or always ask ourselves, why am I so bad? Why is it not working? I'm going to push myself and discipline myself into that. Part of us rebels against that, because we need to express our freedom, our autonomy, our independence.
Speaker 1And that's where awesomeness-based, awesome-based coaching and bright spot-based coaching and asking ourselves and other people what's working for you, how can we make more of it, happen in all the different areas of your life. That's why it works so well, because it allows you to express that autonomy and that power of exercising your choice, of being independent and being free to act as you want. So asking yourself that what's working? How can I make more of this? And, ultimately, what is my destination?
Speaker 1Postcard, another term from coaching. What am I trying to get? What is the person I'm trying to become? What is the future I'm building? And you can feel inside of you, how you are expanding, how you are being pulled up. You are being pulled up. There is this positive energy that takes you for a journey, for a ride that makes you grow. The more you feel that, the more you grow consistently and you won't need any discipline to push you anywhere.
Speaker 1So, to sum it up, awesome-based coaching. It's all about looking into the areas different areas of your life, career, your relationship and asking yourself what's already working, what am I already doing bad, but what am I already doing well and how can I do more of it? How can I amplify it? How can I create more of it in different areas? And another way of looking at that if you know a few people who are already acing it in those areas, you ask yourself what are these people doing well and how can I replicate that, that wellness or that mastery? What is the good? How can I copy it? How can I replicate that, that wellness or that mastery? What is the good? How can I copy it? How can I transfer it? How can I practice more of it? How can you build more of that? Instead of looking into where am I bad, what's not working, what needs to be fixing, that actually seems to be not that effective at all, especially long-term. Again, you can only threaten, discipline yourself and other people so much until you get this resistance and sabotage and things will get worse, not better.
Speaker 1Also based coaching. So whether you are trying to change others so your team, your employees, other people, your dogs, your cats, your kids whether you're trying to change yourself, ask yourself what's already working. How can I make more of that happen in other areas of my life? What skills are already working in all these different areas of my life? How can I transfer those skills If I don't understand something who does? How can I copy their bright spots, their strengths?
Speaker 1If we are a family unit or a team, what's already going for us, or some of us, and how can we copy that for more of team members? Let's say you have a team and some people do really well with that one behavior, whether that's lead generation, sales, taking care of your customer, whatever that is. Instead of trying to fix what's wrong with other people, you ask yourself why do these people do better? How can we copy what they do well with the rest of the team? Forget about fixing Focus on what's working. And how can you copy that to other people, to yourself, to in your organization what's already working, where it's working and why it's working there and how can we replicate that, versus again going and trying to fix people, organizations or the whole world. What's already working. Also, our human evolution what's already working and how can we make more of that happen. And here you go, your awesome based coaching what's working and how can we make more of it.
Speaker 1Hope you found this useful for leadership, self-leadership, the leadership of others, self-transformation, and thank you, guys, for your attention. Thank you for listening, for your energy, for working on yourself. Please don't forget to share this podcast with at least one other person so we grow our tribe of awesome-based people. Please do share screenshot, tag me, send a WhatsApp message, whatever that is. Please do share it so together we change the world, make the world a better place and make more awesome happen. Talk to you soon. Have an awesome beast day and, till next time, keep growing.