Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your Brains Coach and also an executive coach with more than 15 years of coaching experience, and we're here to discover, to learn, to share and apply brain-body tools to take better control of our thoughts, of our emotions and, most importantly, our actions that bring the results that we either get to enjoy or suffer from in our life. And today, folks, I want to talk about a very important topic decisions, because decisions well, decisions are. We need to talk more about making decisions and having better frameworks for making our decisions, because they shape our lives. How we make decisions is going to define what actions we take or don't take, and that will define what kind of job or business we have, what kind of relationships we have, what kind of body and health we have.
Speaker 1And I think the tricky part about making decisions is that we have to wrestle with this idea, this notion, this reality that short-term things that feel good and comfortable right now are not necessarily at all things that are going to make our future what we want it to be or are going to make our future ourselves better, and we absolutely need to have better frameworks and better strategies to make sure that we don't just get to enjoy now, but we also are creating the future that we're going to enjoy, perhaps even more, because, well, the reality is, you are going to be in that future, you are going to be living that future and this future is going to be your reality. So if you want to avoid suffering through your future because of the choices that feel comfortable today, you need to have a framework that will allow you to live a good life experience that's not necessarily pleasurable all the time at all, but just the one that feels right and aligned with your core values and who you are, not just with your brain's craving for satisfaction and pleasure and taking it easy. So you've got to learn how to make choices, to feel good about your life now and build the future that you'll enjoy a lot more, or at least not going to be in regret that why haven't I done that before or why haven't made this choice before, so I get to enjoy the future that I've always wanted. And I got a good bad news for you. Good news you can start making better choices today. You can learn some simple frameworks for decision-making today and start applying the skill, and even tomorrow you might start getting better results, results that cause you less regret. So that's the good news.
Speaker 1Bad news is that a lot of choices no decisions that you have to make might not feel all that good in the moment. In fact, sometimes they might suck, and recently I had to have conversations with myself first. I had to have conversations with myself first and then had to have a few hard conversations with other people, saying no to people, saying that I don't agree with certain things, and that is why I get a part ways with certain projects and certain people, not because people are bad or projects are bad, but because they're not leading me towards where I want to go. And I get to hear all kinds of things, from being short-sighted, irresponsible and a person who cannot be relied on to, sometimes even indirectly, kind of dumb. People would tell you all kind of things when you don't follow their way or their frameworks for how things supposed to go or how you should be acting, you will hear a lot of that stuff. You know, what I realized at some point in my journey is that just because I read a book or learned a framework for better handling of conversations or negotiations or building relationships. Just because I learned it, doesn't mean that the other person automatically going to learn that. And more often than not, you'll hear a lot less pleasant stuff from people from all walks of life, on all levels of leadership and decision-making. And it's because, again, just because we have better practices for communication, for building relationships, for communicating with respect, just because you learn it doesn't mean that the other person knows them. And just because you started applying that, don't expect other people to grow to the same level in that area, right, and so just understanding that that is normal, that you know that, for example, there is such thing as nonviolent and respectful communication, just because you know that and started practicing that doesn't mean at all that the person on the other side, whoever they are, gonna know the same and gonna apply the same strategies.
Speaker 1So when you make tough choices, when you make difficult decisions, and when you do have more hard and difficult and messy conversations, just be okay with this idea that you're going to hear a lot of unpleasant stuff towards yourself. But here's the thing as long as you apply this framework that you're about to learn and you create more peace within yourself, that at the end of the day, you'll feel that you made the choice that is aligned with your core values, your identity and the future that you want to create. As long as that is true, you'll be able to reject the labels that other people can put on you and peacefully continue on your path, creating, step-by-step, the future that you want to be living in, even though at the time it will feel uncomfortable, messy. And again, there are going to be no lack of people who are going to tell you all the worst things your inner critic could have told you right. So just be okay with that. And now let's get to the nitty gritty of the framework to make tough choices.
Speaker 1Make difficult decisions, especially in the environment of ambiguity, where you don't really know how the stuff turns out in the end. I think that's the hardest part about making tough decisions and making tough choices is that, well, there is no guarantee that your choice is going to be the right one. But also what I learned from people who write books about good decision making and strategies to live a good life, as long as you're very clear on who you are, the person who you are committed to be or becoming, as long as you know your values, your purpose, as long as you know what future you are building and you align your choices and your decisions with that. Now, the future is not guaranteed, but it is almost a guarantee that you are going to be getting closer towards that vision versus something else that somebody else might think is a better future. The truth is, you are the expert on your life and when you make a decision that is aligned with what you have inside and the vision that you have for yourself, that is the right decision, even though for someone else it might be the wrong one. So how to make better decisions?
Speaker 110-10-10, very easy framework. I learned about it in this book, decisive, that is linked in the show notes A lot of great decision-making strategies. I also heard it on a podcast while walking to the gym today, actually. So a lot of CEOs, a lot of entrepreneurs actually use this framework in one way or the other. So 10-10-10, what does it mean?
Speaker 1When making a tough, ambiguous, difficult choice or decision? Ask yourself this question. Kind of settle down in your emotions, you know, take a few deep breaths so you also are not in some distress or anxious or with a lot of emotions. Just take a few breaths, settle down and ask yourself this question about that decision you're facing and make a choice and then ask yourself will I be happy, not comfortable, not feeling good, but will it feel right for me to make this decision? Will it feel right right now, in 10 minutes from now, in 10 months from now and in 10 years from now? And tough decisions and hard choices there is a difference between making you feel comfortable and good in the moment but then not really feeling great, like you betrayed some value or part of your identity or some version of your future. So there is a difference and we are aiming specifically towards what feels right.
Speaker 1If you make this choice, make this decision, will it feel right in the next 10 minutes, in the next 10 days or in 10 years from now? Will it feel right? And again, I went through a lot of difficult conversations and made some hard choices and did they feel comfortable? No, and I also had quite a few unpleasant interactions with other people because of that. But did it feel right inside? Yes, it did, and that's how I knew, ultimately, this was the right choice, the right decision. Did I handle it 100%? Well, no, but I could have done better. To be honest. I could have handled those conversations and framing of things better. But did the choice feel right? Yes, and I know that in 10 years, that 10-year-old version of self would have been proud, even though, again, communicating it better, might do with some work.
Speaker 1So now the ball is in your court, guys. If you're facing hard choices, decisions, take a few breaths, settle in into the present moment, into this balanced, wise state of mind, and then ask yourself will this choice feel right now, in 10 minutes from now? Right now, in 10 minutes from now and in 10 years from now? And if the choice feels right, if you checked with your core values and a decade-long journey, the person you are committed to becoming, if it feels right, then the amount of peace in your life will increase, time wasted will shrink and other people's opinions eventually will fade into the distance, like the chatter of the crowd that you are moving away from to follow your path. Who said that? Following your path, which is not aligned with what the crowd wants? Who said it would be easy, but that's how you shape your car, your path and walk your own journey.
Speaker 1I hope this was helpful and if you have something to share, please do feel free to reach out. Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom. That's my email Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom. That's my email. Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom. Please do share this podcast episode with people who you feel might need it, who are facing some tough choices, decisions and not really sure how to go around navigating those. Share this. Let's help each other make better choices and decisions, more aligned with who we want to become, what we want to build and the life that we want to create. Thank you for your attention. Thank you for listening. Let's make better long-term decisions, decisions that feel right and until next time, term decisions, decisions that feel right and until next time. Have an aligned kind of day that feels right on all levels 10 minutes from now, 10 days from now and 10 years from now. Out and over. Talk with you very soon.