Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host. I'm your Brains Coach, also Executive Coach with more than 50 years of experience around the globe working with some badass high performers, now transitioning into corporate training and coaching and consultancy, on a quest to build $1 million consultancy in 2025. Guys, I would often hear these days when I talk about my goal that you know, like, where you are and what makes you think it's possible. Like, don't you want to go for something more realistic? And then I remind myself of this fact when most people decided for themselves that they are comfortable at a certain level and anything beyond that is impossible for them. But guess what? There is this saying if you decide, you're right, or if you decide you're wrong, you are right, meaning whatever you decide for yourself, if it's out of your reach, then it's going to be out of your reach. If you decide, this is a must and I'm going to make it happen, you're going to make it happen. I mean, there are things that, outside of laws of physics and more like magic Like, for example, believing that you can lose weight while eating more calories, consuming more energy than your body actually uses Not going to happen, just not in this universe. We have certain laws that have to be respected. The same in business there are many rules and laws, but I know that where I am and where I want to be, the journey is totally doable. And there are people who did bigger things that I'm planning to do. But again, what you think is possible for you, you think is possible for you, that's going to define where you're going to end up, not what somebody else thinks about possibility of your goals.
Speaker 1I want to share with you a story. Yesterday we had a coaching. He was really proud of himself, the transformation that he went through, and he was saying oh, you know, I'm doing better than anyone in my bootcamp class. That I enjoyed. That is amazing. And we celebrated that. That is amazing, that is a great transformation. That is a lot of effort and work put in. That is, you know, worthy of celebration. But then, as any good coach would do, I challenged him Well, now that you reached this milestone and you're doing better than anyone in your bootcamp class, what's your next comparison?
Speaker 1Who is going to be your fitness inspirational role model? Because here's the thing who you compare yourself to is going to become your normal and anything outside what you consider your normal is going to be a struggle and most probably you're not going to maintain it, not because it's impossible for you or someone else, but because you decided that that is normal. When you level up your goals, you got to make sure that you level up your social comparisons. Who's your new normal? And comparing yourself up that is the process never feels comfortable. You're going to feel inadequate. You're going to start asking yourself these questions like why am I not there? What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Sometimes even you might have this thought where am I dumber than these other people who got what I want?
Speaker 1Comparing yourself down to people who don't have the results you have, comparing yourself to people who you are ahead of the game from. Comparing yourself to old college buddies, your high school buddies who just never shoot for anything big. And hey, I want to emphasize here that being on any level is okay Fitness level, relationships, business level but is it okay for you? You want to define what is okay and normal for you and what you want to create in your life. Any desire, any goal, anything is okay as long as you decide that that is okay for you, and shooting for something that feels less, that you want less than you're capable of, something that feels less that you want less than you're capable of, that, I believe, is not okay.
Speaker 1So when I say, when you compare yourself down to somebody who's struggling, who's not shooting for anything big, I don't mean it in any negative way. What I mean is we often do that to make ourselves comfortable, to make ourselves feel better, and I guess that's okay sometimes to make yourself feel comfortable. But if you want to grow, if you want to level up in 2025, that's not something. You want to be stuck in this, thinking this, comparing down and thinking, well, I already achieved more than these people, so I'm pretty good, you're pretty good, no matter what you achieve. But is this enough? Is this the end of growth for you, or do you want to level up? And that's the challenge, and that's why I ask my client this question Okay, now that you've got this fitness level and you want to go further? Okay, now that you've got this fitness level and you want to go further? You say that you want to go further.
Speaker 1Who's your next comparison? That can be someone in your real life, if you're lucky enough to have that. That is the best. So maybe join some cycling club or some sailing club or whatever club you want to join. That is the best where people are fitter and more badass than you are. So if you join some bootcamp and outdid everyone who's there, then maybe it's time to join a new bootcamp or a new fitness social club. So if that's in real life, that's amazing. But also don't forget that we live in time and in an era where you have this beautiful thing, social media, this beautiful thing, internet, and you can find your aspirational comparisons anywhere around the world. There is no lack of people putting their profiles online with all their workouts and amazing physiques or businesses and telling you all about their stories, their transformations, what they're figuring out and shooting for their results. Find your new role model as soon as you outdo your old one.
Speaker 1Here is an interesting study. I don't remember the source, but you can Google it very easily or chat. Gpt Research indicates that sitting within 25 feet of a high performer can boost an individual's performance by 15%. Just by sitting by proximity to a high performer can boost an individual's performance by 15%. Just by sitting by proximity to a high performer you're going to boost your performance, whereas the proximity to a low performer can lead to a decline of 30%. That reminds me of a phrase that I absolutely loved from Brad Jacobs, the how to Make a Few Billion Dollars guy that's the name of the book, and the saying is an empty seat is better than a bad fit. An empty seat is better than a bad fit.
Speaker 1What it means is who you allow into your cognitive mental space, especially who you compare yourself to, but also your physical proximity. That's going to mean a lot about who you're going to become. Make sure that who you compare yourself to, who is your peer group, whether that's in real life or on social media in your mind, who you compare yourself to, that's your future, because you define that. That's your normal and your brain kind of works like a thermostat. If that new normal is above you, you do a lot of things to reach that new higher level. If that level is beyond you or below you, then your brain also going to adjust your actions and you're going to scale down to that level. That's the beauty and the curse. The beauty because you are in control of this process. You can choose who you compare yourself to. You can choose your social comparisons and inspirations, and the curse is most people are so sloppy with their thinking habits that they always slide down, not up. Maybe also because it requires a lot of work and your brain wants to save energy and not do a lot of work. That's also a reason. But remember again research indicates that sitting within 25 feet of a high performer can boost an individual's performance by 15%, whereas the proximity to a low performer can lead to a decline of 30%.
Speaker 1You know what I noticed in my personal life when I was struggling with my fitness levels, with my physique, with how I looked. You know what I did? I would always compare myself to people around me who and I was already better than 90% of people. You know most of the people are overweight or obese, with a ton of diseases, especially after the age like 35 and 40s, and that comparison was not helpful to me. But then, once I started comparing myself to people on social media who are in their 40s and 50s and absolutely crushing their fitness, looking and performing better than I do when I'm 10 years younger, I'm like yeah, I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1And whenever I find myself in a place where I lose that motivation, or I feel tired or I feel like it's too much. Whenever I find myself in a place where I lose that motivation or I feel tired or I feel like it's too much, whenever I feel that you know what I do, I go to my social media and I look at profiles of those people and I'm like they're doing better, they are older, they transformed their bodies, they struggled and they still did it and that's who I want to be like. And then I immediately get my motivation back and I make the choice, I take the action that leads me closer towards my growth versus scaling down. And just, you know, it's okay to be normal, it's okay, but is that what you want? That's the most important question that you want to answer. What is it you want? Create the comparisons, people who occupy your mental space accordingly. And so the exercise I did to my clients. Back to my client, I told him okay, we are soon going to be entering 2025.
Speaker 1You want to work in different areas in your life fitness, business, specifically, relationships with your peers, upgrading your peer group so it inspires you, right? So you want to work on all of these goals. Now your homework, your home assignment, is for each goal, for each area where you want to grow, pick up one, maybe two inspirational people that you're going to look up to when your own motivation fails you or you want to take it easy. Those are the people that's going to be occupying your mental, emotional space and whenever you feel like it's getting harder to push yourself, look at them and they're going to push you. And the same assignment I have for you guys and for myself what it is you want to grow up in, where do you want to level up? Where do you want to get bigger? Shoot for the moon, shoot for the stars, whether it's business, your fitness, your relationships, your health, whatever that is, what do you want to shoot for?
Speaker 1And then, for each goal, choose one, two inspirations that you're going to look up to that's going to occupy your mental, emotional space when things get hard or when you stumble, when things will feel impossible, just look up to them and maybe even reach out on social media the beauty of our world. You can reach out to almost anyone today and, with the right amount of persistence, you can actually get a reply. So, guys, where do you want to level up and what are your inspirations in real life? On social media, maybe public figures, and there is nothing you can't do if you decide that that's a must and you create the systems and social comparisons that pull you up, not down. I hope you found this tactic, this tool, useful and gonna apply it from now on.
Speaker 1Human beings are funny creatures. We do care a lot whether we understand it or not, believe it or not, say it or not. We do care a lot about our social comparisons and how we compare to those who we compare ourselves to. So use this tool and don't forget guys to help others to grow and level up and shoot for bigger things. Share this podcast episode with at least one moon shooter, someone who wants to go big and shoot for the stars, someone who you might connect with to level up together. Nothing like stretching yourself to your next level goals. Nothing like connecting with like-minded people who also do not believe in the impossible, but believe the word impossible says I am possible itself. So share this episode with at least one other moon shooter. Go for big stars together and, till next time, shoot for the stars, upgrade your comparisons and have an awesome day. Chat soon, dream big and compare even bigger.