Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your Brains Coach and also an executive coach with 15 years of experience working in the areas of health, productivity, recovery, high performance, leadership, communication. Leadership communication all of the skills that we need to be better leaders in our lives and to take better control of our thoughts, of our emotions and, most importantly, our actions, so we get to shape our life experience into a life that we absolutely love living. We are here about self-mastery, self-growth and working on that, not by trying to implement random stuff, but actually learning about science-backed tools and different theories in real-life cases and applying that to then shape ourselves into the people who we're absolutely proud to be, who live the life that we absolutely love living. Today's podcast, as promised, is going to be about motivation and helping you to take control of your own motivation, to fire it up and to create more of it when you need to use it as a fuel for the actions that matter, that transform your life closer and closer to the vision of your life that you want. I want to start with a quote we are best off if we can fully internalize our own behaviors so that we wholeheartedly agree with and endorse what we do, even if the behaviors themselves are difficult or painful. With full internalization, we have fully accepted our own choices and have taken responsibility for them, just as is recommended by the existential perspective, which says we are always free and always responsible for what we do, whether we currently realize it or not. When we feel that we are forcing or guilting ourselves into doing something, it may be a sign that we should think more about what we are doing. Perhaps we can finish internalizing the behavior and then fully endorse it, or maybe we should abandon the behavior altogether and find something more suitable to do.
Speaker 1The theme of today's podcast, guys, have you ever wanted to achieve certain results, like getting fit or getting wealthier by growing your business or getting more productive by creating better sleep and morning routine? And you want it, but also you then find yourself not putting the reps, not reaching out to customers and asking for more business and working on your business systems. That are things that are needed to grow and improve your business. Or you find yourself delaying your exercise again and again and again and again. Or you want to eat healthy, but you find yourself eating chocolate and ice cream, watching Netflix, instead of actually going to bed early and waking up early because you know that works better for you. Like, what is that? Do you want it or do you want it not?
Speaker 1If you have found yourself in this situation and I definitely found myself in it quite a few times in my life you probably are struggling with interjected motivation. That is an actual term. We have different kind of motivation you probably heard about maybe not intrinsic, which is internal. Extrinsic, which is external, which we feel comes from the outside world, but there is this other type of motivation that is called interjected. It's exactly when we feel like we're forcing ourselves to do something we don't want to do. We're guilting ourselves, we're shooting have-tos, needing ourselves to do that, and all it means is that part of ourselves never signed up for the full journey. Like you might want to get fit, but part of you never signed up for doing the hard work. You might want to get wealthy, rich, but part of you never signed up for doing the hard work. Like part of you still somewhat believes that it's not necessary and you're best off by not doing that and just taking it easy and coasting and doing what you always done. So part of you, part of you wants it and part of you doesn't want specifically. Part of you specifically doesn't want the work. You haven't internalized the full picture. You haven't signed up for the whole journey, for the goal getting fit or getting wealthy and the price tag attached to that, all the hard work. Some part of you still have not understood that in order to get that goal, this is the work that has to be done. And if you want this result, you got to be at peace with all the work that comes with it. And that's what they call interjected motivation, when we want something but we are not really motivated to do the hard work. Part of us kind of yeah, I understand, I want it. But then another part is like, yeah, but you know, staying on the couch and eating all this takeout food or snacks feels so much better, and so some part of you still somewhat believes that you might want to do all these things. But you also can just take it easy and not do the hard work.
Speaker 1And there is this part of the book that I finished fully determined what the new psychology of self teaches us about how to live. So the part of the book is about realizing that part of you wants the goal and kind of understands the price, the working out or reaching out and cold calling, cold reaching out to customers and reinventing everything you've done, how you've done business so far. So part of you understand this, but the other part never signed up for this work. Some other part feels that there is I need to do it, I should do it. I have to do it because the world thinks that's what I should be doing to be loved, to be successful, to be respected. So a huge part of it, or maybe a smaller part of it, feels that it's put on us by the outside forces, that we haven't really chosen it.
Speaker 1And the secret of David Goggins, of this world, the secret of Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos or anyone who you admire, any athlete you admire who achieve hard things and put in a lot of hard work, their secret is they made peace with the work. Their heart, their brain chose to do the work. Nobody's forcing them into it. And actually, once you fully internalize the goal and the work, once you achieve the goal, that makes you feel happier, whereas when you feel that you should do, need to do, have to do, and you achieve that kind of goal, even if you manage to shoot yourself into that, the goal actually not going to make you happy. And so, in any of those cases, it is in your best interest to understand where this motivation is coming from. Does it come from your heart and your mind? Did you fully internalize it? Did you choose this goal and the work? Is it something that you believe that is truly important in your life, versus the world wanting you to do this because this is something you have to do to be successful, to be loved, to be cared for, to be admired, etc. Is it your goal?
Speaker 1So, the most important takeaway from today's podcast guys, if you are struggling with the behavior, but you want a certain goal that might require this behavior, the first is to stop Stop wanting it and ask yourself why, and then ask again why do I want it? And ask as many times as needed until you get the true reason. Is it you who wants it, or is it your mom, your dad, your spouse, your friend circle? Do you want it and why do you want it? Does this reason come from your heart? Do your heart and mind agree? Or are you chasing what you think others value and will love you for and, just like the book says, if it doesn't come from the right places and more out of guilt and shame and have-tos, then maybe it's not the goal to pursue. When your brain and heart agree, you are unstoppable. That's the secret to making hard work feel lighter.
Speaker 1That's how Gagin's keeps running. His heart, his mind, agreed that that is important for himself. He actively chooses to do that and that's why he succeeds, even with the craziest stuff, like running for 24 hours non-stop when everything is bleeding, or running for hundreds of miles. That's how he does it Because, no matter how hard it got, his mind and his heart agreed that that was a part of the journey that he chose. So let's go all in or not at all, because if your heart is not in it, then your whole life is going to become a struggle, a misery, and If your mind is not in it, then you'll probably also struggle a lot.
Speaker 1So today, after this podcast, look at the goals, look at the behaviors that you might be struggling with and the goals because of that that feel like a struggle, feel hard and ask yourself why do I want it? What makes it important? And spend some time thinking about that. Even better, writing about that, journaling about that, and see where the reason for you wanting this come from. Because if it comes from the outside world, the probability is not only you have a lot less chance to achieve it, but it's not even going to make you happy.
Speaker 1And that's how a lot of successful people, but with a lot of will, push themselves into achieving results that they didn't care about and they end up being miserable. And sometimes they get into drugs, into alcohol, sometimes they kill themselves. That's how you end up, on paper, successful and miserable, and the thing is your life is as good as it feels to you, and so if it feels like misery, then it doesn't matter who thinks what you achieve and how much money you have or what other stuff of status you have. If your life feels like misery, you're going to be miserable and that's going to be the quality of your life. The word of today, the geeky lingo of today from the world of motivation and self-determination theory in psychology, the word of today interjected motivation, the kind of motivation when we feel we have to, we need to. Somebody else thinks we must do that. So that's the kind of motivation you want to avoid if you want to live a happy life and achieve goals and do the hard work without the internal struggle.
Speaker 1Now, hard stuff will be hard anyhow. It's not easy to. It's never going to be easy to run 100 miles or build a multi-million dollar business Never going to happen If you're building from scratch. It's going to be hard. But if you end the struggle within, then you might even start enjoying all that hard work and you'll finally get to experience your own internal David Goggins. Have you ever achieved hard stuff? Guys? The last thought have you ever achieved something hard, something that took months, maybe years of effort and sacrifice? Maybe finishing that degree or doing some sort of physical challenge or running a marathon? Have you ever done anything hard? I bet you have. So how did you pull that off? Why? Why do you want what you want? That turns out to be the most important question, not just for achievement and having a strong discipline, but also for the quality of your life and how happy you're going to be on the journey as well.
Speaker 1That's it for today. Hope you enjoyed the podcast. The book of the day Freely determined what the new psychology of the self teaches us about how to live. It's a very geeky book on psychology side A lot of science talk, so if you're not into that stuff, you're not going to be enjoying it very much, but it has some very important insights and lessons. And you can listen to Hidden Brain Podcast, which also has the author on the podcast, who will explain a lot of the concepts in the book in a conversational format.
Speaker 1Interjectory interjected motivation. Guys, do you want it or you think the world needs it from you? That's the key concept of today. Have an amazing week or day ahead. Please do share this podcast with at least one other person who you believe needs to hear that Maybe they're struggling with achieving and they're chasing all the goals that they don't even want. So share this podcast with at least one person. Let's make more people achieve happiness by achieving goals that matter to them. Share this podcast episode with at least one other person. That would be the highest reward for me as someone who is committed to helping more people unlock more of their potential, use their gifts to live an awesome life and create a beautiful world. Share this podcast episode again and until next time, find the right kind of motivation and the right kind of goals that make the struggle feel like play.