Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your Brains Coach, I'm your executive coach, someone with a lot, a lot of passion for human growth, human development, high performance, being our best and living the most fulfilling life experience, moving the human race forward in its development and also creating positive impact and serving the world and unlocking all of your talents and potential and satisfying this urge to become better, to outgrow your past limits and to create something awesome and impactful and useful in this world, to leave a legacy, becoming your best and serving in the way that only you can serve Today's guys. I want to share with you a little bit from my coaching sessions. This has happened yesterday and a client reached out to me and said Angela, let's make this session short. I don't feel well and I don't feel like I made a lot of progress, so let's just kind of get through it. And I said well. I didn't say much because in life I learned what we think we need and our expectations very often get in the way of us going through this journey that life has for us to get to the other side or to progress and to get into the next step, and so we just started our session and we started talking about things that are happening and just kind of checking in, making sure that we are on track and no decisions that are going to derail our progress, that we've made over the year are going to interfere with our further process.
Speaker 1So we started with some breath work. We started with some light discussions. So we started with some breath work. We started with some light discussions and then we gradually transitioned to the area which was bothering my client the most, and that is not feeling satisfied with their work and not feeling like they are meant to be there at this stage. Like you know, this urge, this itch, like I don't like this experience. I understand. I feel that something has to change, that something has to shift. In the words of my client, it was well, I'm doing all these cool things, but I've done them already. I know how it goes and it doesn't feel satisfying anymore. Have you ever felt this way? Like you check all the boxes and it feels, or it seems, like you're supposed to be happy and satisfied. You have your income in very good place, you have your relationships, you have your health, etc. But something is just bothering you. It's like that's again itch that you can't scratch, and you know that you're not happy with the way things are, but there isn't a problem that you can immediately address. So what do you do?
Speaker 1And while my client was talking, I had this image in my head of a plant that outgrew its pot and needed to be replanted in a bigger pot or maybe somewhere on a bigger piece of land. And I told him you know, I have this image in my head that humans are trees, kind of like trees with legs, and in order to be the best tree, we need to grow, we need a space to develop. And it feels for me like you don't have that space and you feel the urge, the need to grow. Don't have that space and you feel the urge, the need to grow. It's also kind of like when you get those pots, whether somebody gives you it as a gift, like some sort of plant, or you buy it and it's small and in this beautiful small pot, but then you start watering it and nourishing it and then it grows and then at some point you realize, oh, I need to buy a new pot so it can grow further and Believe it or not.
Speaker 1Number one reason. From my experience and now the research that I'm getting into more and more, number one reason that top players, people at the top of their game, leave their companies, their jobs and go and look for something else. Number one reason is not feeling or not having the opportunity to keep growing, keep developing, asking themselves this question is this all there is? And very often the answer is no and in their current position they don't feel, whether that's the people, the structure of the company or no clear communication or certain policies. They don't feel like they can keep growing, they don't see the way to grow. They feel like they're stuck in the small pot and they want to grow bigger or maybe more beautiful and sideways, but there is no place, no space to grow. And that's the number one reason that people leave their careers, change their relationships.
Speaker 1People feel unsatisfied and if you don't address the dissatisfaction well, the person will always address this or get into some weird habits, self-sabotage, et cetera. The person will always try to find a way out and sometimes, when we are not clear that we need to grow, that we need to develop, that we need to change, we stop getting, I don't know, buying stuff or drinking or eating too much or watching entertainment to the point where it just stops our life, but quality doesn't change. So we get into all these different behaviors. Sometimes we create a necessary drama in our relationship. But what I learned a lot of times most of the time what's underneath is that need to grow, to develop, and not either having idea how to do that or not having the space.
Speaker 1So back to my client and why top players, top performance, would very often feel the urge to leave, to change their organization or to completely change their careers because they feel they don't on some level, even though, like for my client, he couldn't communicate that until I gave him this metaphor, he couldn't understand why I'm not satisfied. Until I gave him this metaphor, he couldn't understand why I'm not satisfied. Why can't I just maybe settle and just shift maybe my focus, my priorities, towards my family more? Why do I feel like this dissatisfaction and I need some water here? And when I shared with him this metaphor that he is like this plant who needs a new pot, he stopped for a bit and then said that's exactly it. And then he said wow, angela, I didn't expect this. I thought that we didn't need this session and I didn't expect that. And for me, while listening to him describe the situation, this was a duh moment, like couldn't he see this? And he couldn't. He couldn't put that into words. And until we put that into words, very often we don't know how to deal with that and how to approach the situation. What needs to be shifted, what we need to do, exactly.
Speaker 1And now that he understood this, now he's like okay, now I need to figure out whether I talk to people in the company, what can I shift to develop and grow? Or maybe I work with the same company partially as a consultant and then another separate part of my career, going to be a consultant somewhere else, or maybe taking on my clients personally or developing other projects, right. But here, once you realize what needs to be fixed, your brain starts to look for ways to satisfy this need. It's kind of like if you don't know what hunger feels, you'll feel this agitation, maybe anxiety, et cetera, just not feeling settled. But once you know that this is hunger, you're like okay, now I can shift to looking for sources of nutrition and food and even though you might not still have it, but at least you know what it is you're missing. So number one and that's what I'm learning from other executive coaches, this is what I'm learning from research, reading books on change, on self-examination, leadership, et cetera.
Speaker 1So number one why top players, a players, leave companies is because they don't see the path to growth. And it's not just actually top players, it's for every single person. If a person doesn't see a path to growth and development, and what they do, they outgrow it. So what happens is they start looking for ways to get themselves out of the situation. And, as we are a society going through a lot of shifts and changes and the pace of change is accelerating, what's going to happen more and more with companies is they're going to face this problem more and more and more and more. And there are only two ways out of it. Number one create the adjustable pot environment where you have the structure to help people transition and keep growing. So you have the path for people to keep growing. As simple as that or the company has to become peaceful, or has to become okay with this idea that they're going to face more and more and more turnover and maybe in some way figure out a way how to accommodate that, how to accommodate this constant flow of people. Of course, from my perspective and from the perspective of most leaders, it is easier and less costly to figure out a way how people can grow and rotate within the company, but sometimes it's just not possible.
Speaker 1But back to my client. So if you are personally in a situation where you kind of check all the boxes but there is this urge to change, to shift things, I recommend you doing two things. Number one look at your life and imagine if you Google life will, you're going to get an image of some sort of circle or wheel where you have different areas of your life. So you look at that life will and you ask yourself what area of my life, what am I, what I feel not satisfied with, what area I feel like I need to change the most, I need to grow in the most and if for you, like for my client, it means you need to grow professionally in your career, in your leadership, in your professional capacity or giving back capacity or serving the world capacity, whatever label you want to put on it, whatever feels right, if you feel like that is the area where you want to change and grow.
Speaker 1The next question is it's the miracle question that is borrowed from solution-focused therapy. And the question is, the miracle question is if you wake up, if you woke up tomorrow and everything in this area, in your professional career area, was perfect, exactly as you wanted it to be, how would you know Meaning, how would your day-to-day change? How would it feel? What activities would you do? How would every day go? What responsibilities you would have, what projects you're going to work on, what your schedule would look like? Write about all of this. If you woke up tomorrow and your career, your work situation, was perfect, what would it look like? What would you do? What project would you work on? Who would you work with? What skills would you be acquiring or getting better at? Ask yourself all these questions and brainstorm.
Speaker 1Just even take one page in 10 minutes or even 5 minutes and ask yourself this question and put it into writing and you get a bunch of ideas, and some of those ideas will be more applicable to your life. Some of those ideas will speak louder to you and you're like, yeah, this is actually I want to try and I can try, and maybe, just like my client, you can talk to people in your place of work or maybe in your business. Maybe you need to shift responsibilities. So talk to people, brainstorm ideas for projects that maybe you encountered earlier that you want to get involved with. See how, what is the easiest way, the simplest way for you to get in without maybe fully jumping into that, because for a lot of people, you know, get in without maybe fully jumping into that, because for a lot of people, you have different responsibilities and different life factors that might limit you in some way, but there is always a way to shift things around. The universe is a beautiful place where there is always a way to improve things and to get things to a better place. So that is your homework.
Speaker 1First, life will look at it and ask yourself which area of my life do I feel the most unsatisfied with? Where do I want to grow Girl? Where am I this plant? Who outgrew my pot and I need a new pot? If this is your career, but also relationships, health, ask yourself the miracle question If everything was fixed tomorrow and I woke up and it's all perfect, how would I know what would change? What would I do? What would I work on? What are the people I would interact with? What are the skills I'm going to be working on developing? What my day-to-day would look like, how would it feel, how would it look. All of that as much detail as possible. And then, I guess, a bonus assignment, but the most powerful one is a list of action steps that you will take to test it out and see how you can tap into this growth area and start taking action Again. Talk to people, do some research, reach out to some companies, organizations or, again, people, to see how you can engage with this next level of your development.
Speaker 1And speaking of next level of your development, google also Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and at the top you'll see self-actualization. Let me actually open it on my computer as well Self-actualization, desire to become the most that one can be. It's at the very top of this hierarchy, after physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, self-esteem, self-actualization, and this is basically our need to grow. We as society are in this, I would say, beautiful moment where a lot of us outgrew or fixed in many major ways a lot of our needs, like basic needs, like physiological or safety, and that's where the next ones are love and belonging and esteem. You know all these relationships, connections and mental health. And then, for people who got through this journey already, self-actualization and answering the question what is the most? I can be? And that's where you'll see a lot of top players leaving their places of work, a lot of business owners feeling like they need to take on another challenge of work. A lot of business owners feeling like they need to take on another challenge. And some are just in transition and lost and not sure where to go. But they feel, just like my client did, that the pot has to change.
Speaker 1You need to be in a new pot, in a bigger one, or on a piece of land where you can spread your wings or your branches and keep growing. Growth it's in your DNA. Resisting it is futile. So take a moment, look at your life and ask yourself where do I need to grow? And if I woke up tomorrow and I already grew, what would it look like? So you have a roadmap, a few action steps to put into your schedule, into action, so you could keep growing, because that's what you were designed to do and that's it for today.
Speaker 1Guys, I hope you found this podcast episode useful and it answered some of your self-actualization questions and maybe relieved that pain and uncertainty that you've been feeling. Like you know, I check all the boxes but I'm still not happy. What's wrong with me? So nothing wrong with me. You might be in need of growth and you're sitting in a place where it's limited, and so you got to figure out how to remove that limitation so you could keep growing.
Speaker 1If you have any questions, if you would like to jump on a session to talk about the process and brainstorm together possible ways for you to grow, because what's in your head, the limitations that you set for yourself, might not be true, or you might not see what are the freedoms that you can create. When you talk to somebody, they see another picture of the world which you don't see. We'll have different ones, and that act of talking through what's happening in your head with another person it has a tremendous benefit of giving you new perspectives, new ideas. So reach out. We can do that very, very easily.
Speaker 1Share this podcast episode with someone who might be going through this turmoil, this painful experience of like I don't know what I want, what to do, I'm uncertain, but I know that where I am is not enough. So if you have a person with this going on in their head, connect us or share this podcast episode so they have a better idea of what's happening and the idea is nothing is wrong with you or them. It's the growth process that is absolutely essential to human experience. Thank you, guys for tuning in. Thank you for listening. This is the end of our episode. Stay tuned for more guests, more studies and research and practical tools on helping you develop better mindset, taking care of your health, improve your productivity and performance and execution and ultimately, to get closer and closer to fulfillment and living the best life experience you are capable of right now, and so you could keep growing. Talk to you soon. Have an amazing day of growth.