Hey guys , and welcome back to another episode of your Brain's Coach podcast . My name is Angela Shurina , I'm your host , I'm your Brain's Coach , and it is my job here to bring to you the best research studies , tools , frameworks so you could take better control of your biology , of your psychology , of your brain , body , mind , so you could then take better control of your emotions , thoughts and actions , which will shape your life experience and what you get to enjoy in your or suffer through in life . You are in so much more control than you think you are of every single experience of your day . What you put in your calendar , what you invest your time into , the habits that you develop , will develop you . That then will create the life that you get to experience . You know , folks , I think in life we all can get better at taking ownership for what we experience , not just asking why me , why is it happening to me , but actually looking into that and asking ourselves how am I contributing to this situation ? And if we honestly ask ourselves this question more often , we'll find that a lot of things that we think we don't want or we want . We have a lot more leverage over it , what we do , what we choose to do every day really matters Taking ownership . You know it was a theme in a lot of our conversations yesterday at the Business Relationship Management Institute gathering that I went to yesterday Taking ownership of what's happening in our lives , in our communities , in our relationships with our bodies , in our companies , in our organizations . Not just dealing with things that we have to deal with , that are given to us or thrown at us by life or other people , but looking in a more proactive way at our life and our relationships and the environments that we shape for other people , for ourselves . Taking ownership .
Speaker 1Yesterday at the gathering , the major theme , besides the relationships building , was change and how we all are going to go through a lot of changes . Change is going to be constant and it's going to be faster and faster . And then we talked about this fact that if we want to effectively go through changes , through change that's going to be accelerating , we need to have resilience , because change most often brings setbacks and brings things that don't work , that challenges that we have to figure out . That's why we don't like change that much , because we know we'll have to work through stuff . Right , but change is inevitable and us resisting it is not going to do anything to change . It's just going to make our experience more miserable when we decide to suffer instead of taking ownership and being proactive and taking action and improving things . So we talked a lot about change and how we got to be resilient . If we want to successfully go through change and create more opportunity , more successes , better things because of the change , we got to be resilient .
Speaker 1But as someone who's been working in resilience , in building capacity for a person to change , to endure , to achieve more goals and success , I often find myself in these conversations and I hear this confirmation yes , we all got to be more resilient . But then I almost never unless I'm talking to a fellow coach or practitioner in the resilience arena . I almost never hear from other leaders how we build resilience . It's kind of like well , in order to be healthy , you got to be fit right . But how do you get fit ? Well , with fitness , it's more or less known you get fit by exercising , you don't just get fit out of nowhere . But with resilience it's the same . Just many leaders don't have any idea or toolkits or frameworks , simple things that they can implement to build that resilience on an organizational level . They're like well , our people got to be resilient . Let's just pump them up with some speaking about that or conversations or I don't know some events , and we'll talk about resilience .
Speaker 1No , you don't talk about resilience , just like you don't talk about exercise and exercise , by the way , has a lot to do with resilience . So you don't talk about getting fit . You do exercise and that's how you get fit . You don't even have to talk about it at all . As long as you exercise , you're going to get fitter , with resilience and many qualities that we aspire to have . It's the same exact thing . You don't need to talk about it much . You need to have a playbook that is based on good research , on key studies , on tried and proven methods and best practices . You just got to have simple things that you do every day or collectively , as a team or an organization . You do every single day and you're going to have more resilience . So what are the things that you can do , and also you as a leader can do , to build more resilience and then maybe help others build more resilience as well ? So three pillars of resilience that , when you combine them together , you're going to become unstoppable .
Speaker 1So yesterday the event was about business relationship management and the whole event was how relationships in the company are foundational to success of any initiative done in the company . Like , you can't move things forward in an organization , on a team in a company , if you don't have good relationships built . Every single new thing is going to be faced with a lot of resistance , where people are not going to be resisting the idea , but people are going to be resisting each other because they don't have good relationships . Or people are not going to feel safe to take on new things because they don't have new relationships . Like , wouldn't you agree that when you have really good supportive family or team ? Like you feel unstoppable because you know you can take on challenges , because if something goes wrong somebody will get your back , or together you put your minds and strengths together and you'll figure it out ? Don't you think that is foundational to resilience ? And just like with any other aspects of resilience , you don't talk about having great relationships . You create practices , communication practices , work practices , and then you practice them every day .
Speaker 1How do we talk to each other , how do we respond ? Or how do we react when there is a setback , when somebody makes a mistake ? How do we treat them ? What do we say to them If we are about to take on new challenge or new project . How do we talk about that ? Do we say things to make the other person feel like we have their back if something happens ? That's how you build relationships one conversation at a time , but also the way we speak consistently . So what do you say when somebody fails ? Have a framework that everybody from now on uses in a company or in your family to make sure that the other person feels that they are supported , no matter what , and it is a safe place to make mistakes so you could learn from them , so you could improve .
Speaker 1And change is a lot of mistakes and a lot of things that don't work and you have to figure out . And so if you don't want people to resist change relationships , strong ties are fundamental to that , and that's why business relationship management is going to be more relevant than ever . So I just wanted to see at the gathering what those guys are all about . So great people , great conversations , absolutely loved it . But so first part , relationships and relationships is built through communication and the way we treat other people , and it cannot be left to everyone to figure out . You have to go through training and , just like with exercise in the gym , you got to put in the reps and at first you're not going to be good but you're going to get better . So relationships , just like anything else , just like getting fit , it's the daily practices that's going to create good relationships , done as a cultural set of norms that we all decide to follow .
Speaker 1Psychology the second part of resilience is psychology . Your mindset shapes your body , shapes how you behave towards other people , shapes how your body feels . Mindset there are two ways to respond to any stress . Psychologically , looking at it , like whatever happens in your life , there are two ways for you to look at it Look at it as a challenge that you're going to , that you're going to pursue , that you're going to attack , that you're going to grow through , that you're going to look for opportunities , in that you're going to get stronger , through right . There are two ways to look at any challenge . Psychologically this is where you are shaping your mindset as a challenge they're going to help you to grow and create opportunities and solutions or as a threat which is going to make you weaker , worse .
Speaker 1And if I were to sum it up , this relationship between two different ways to respond to any stressor , like psychology of stress , there are two ways to respond to any problem or setback in life , either with this attitude of try me , like , I'll figure it out , I'll find resources , I'll ask for help , we'll figure it out . Or why me ? And then you retreat and you're like , oh , I'm weak , I'm not capable , I'm not going to give my all and believe it or not . Those two responses and again that is what's been shown in studies those two responses change your body in two completely different ways . One , when you approach a situation as a challenge , going to make you stronger , going to make you more capable , going to even improve things like your blood pressure , blood sugar regulation and inflammation levels and how your immune system works . Or if you approach it with the belief that this is a threat to you and you don't have the capacity to solve it and you want to retreat and get onto the blanket . If you do that , your body does the same thing . It's going to protect itself like it's about to bleed to death literally . And your blood pressure and your blood sugar and your blood circulation and your inflammation and your immune system all can go worse and the probability of you dying sooner , if this is your default approach to life , gonna grow exponentially as you go through life and more stressors .
Speaker 1So psychology how you think about stress or any situation is a huge factor , is how you're gonna deal with it and whether you're going to build more resilience or you're going to get weaker and just like with relationships . Building your psychology is a set of practices , so you might write down somewhere , make a note I'm capable . This challenge is an opportunity . I am resourceful and I'm going to figure it out , just like I did before , and affirm it , and whenever a challenge comes into your life , you look at it and you read it back to you . I'm capable . I'm going to figure it out . Life gave this to me to make me stronger . I have the capacity . I'm going to get stronger through it . Try me .
Speaker 1And just like in the gym with exercise , you get better through repetition here as well , your mind is just like freaking muscle , exactly like that . The more reps you put in , the more you restructure your way of thinking , the more you start practicing different ways of talking to yourself , the more the stronger you're going to get at it , and soon it's going to become your second nature and in a year , maybe in a few months , you're going to think to yourself oh , I'm a completely different person , like I didn't know that . You know I could think so much different . You wouldn't even know another way of looking at it . That's how your new perspective is going to shape you and create almost a different person , right ? So put in the reps with your psychology as well . It's not something you're like , oh now I'm going to have a growth mindset . It doesn't happen like that . You develop it rep by rep , step by step , every single day . That's how you change anything in a human being or in society or organization .
Speaker 1And then the third part of resilience is biology . Training your body , your biological system to endure more physically will gonna build up your physical resilience . That then gonna support your psychology and being able to build a strong relationship and being able to be a support , a stronger support , to others . So your biology how do you make your biology stronger ? Well , that one is super , super simple . You do exercise , you do cold exposure , you do sauna , high-intensity interval training , all of that stuff . Doing hard stuff physically gonna build your physical endurance . Just like with exercise , you do bicep . Curl every single day , your bicep gonna get stronger . Curl every single day , your bicep gonna get stronger . So when you stress your system , your body , with cold or with heat or with tough exercise . You get stronger because your body , just like anything else in a human being , has to adapt . And how does it adapt ? When there is more demand on it . And what is more demand , it's more exercise or heat or cold or challenges you take on at work . The more you go through challenges , the stronger you get .
Speaker 1And there is another thing that is true If you don't use it , you lose it . You want to become weaker ? Well , stop going through challenges and always find excuses , how to put it on other people or get yourself out of the situation . That's how you get weaker . That's why people lose a lot of muscle , because they stop exercising . If you don't use it , you lose it . And you also use your brain as well like that . Stop thinking , stop reading , stop solving puzzles of life and figuring things out , and you lose your brain as well . And all of a sudden you're going to become a lot dumber . If you don't use it , you lose it . The same is resilience , and for biological resilience , well , biological and psychological resilience .
Speaker 1I'm not going to talk about relationship practices here , because this is not my major area of expertise , although communication is becoming more and more of my area of expertise because , also , as a coach someone who've been in coaching for 15 years how do we produce change ? We communicate with people . Right , that's what I do as a coach . I talk to people in a certain way that makes them change their mind about the change , and then they change their actions , and then they change their habits , and then they change how they talk to themselves , and all of this is through conversation . That's why coaching is predominantly learning how to talk to people to help them change . So three-part resilience framework to develop strong psychology and strong biology that can endure a lot of setbacks , getting stronger and creating more success as you go . Get out there , build stronger relationship for other people and yourself , and you can become a resilient superstar who can endure anything and make it into something . So three-part resilience framework this is what I put together based on countless of books and research and studies that came out . Some of them came out some time , some of them came out a long time ago , some of them just either a few years or a few months ago .
Speaker 1Train it , frame it , release it . Train it , frame it , release it . Train it back to doing hard things with your body . Exercise , hold a hot and cold exposure the best ways to make your body more resilient , more durable and being able to also psychologically endure more and also be more effective with recovery . So train it . That's the part of making your . By the way , when you train , you also train your psychology , because in every one of these pursuits , like exercise or hot or heat or cold exposure , what you do is you're also training your mind to be okay with feeling stress in your body and not freaking out , but still staying sane , making good judgment and decisions .
Speaker 1So don't underestimate physiological training . It's a lot about psychology as well . You're training your mind by training your body , because you have one nervous system that connects your body and your mind . Frame it . Frame your challenges instead of why me ? Why do I have to do this ? I'm incapable ? I'm incapable or weak or I didn't have the resources . Instead , say try me , I'm capable , I'm going to figure out resources . I'm giving this brain and the body and all of the people and challenges I overcame before and all the tools and knowledge and skills . I can do it and even if I don't make it perfect , I can make it better and better and better and I can grow through it and in fact , you don't grow in any other way except for the challenges . So challenge is always an opportunity for you to get to the next level . So challenge psychology , frame it . It's a very powerful tool and , as I mentioned before , it even changes the way your body works and how soon you die .
Speaker 1Well , if you do it on a regular basis , obviously , and release it , get awesome at recovery . The superstar of recovery is sleep . Sleep eight hours . I personally love to get my eight and a half . Seven and a half is an absolute minimum . I don't go below that , no matter what . Well you know , unless it's like emergency or something . But sleep is your recovery superstar . This is where all the challenges , all the trainings that you go through the day , they actually make a difference in your body and make you stronger . So if you just challenge , challenge , challenge but never recover , you're going to get weaker , not stronger . So recovery is where you get stronger .
Speaker 1Sleep , psychological recovery and stress release is journaling and writing about emotions and challenges and being present and mindful about them , research-based . When you write about a challenging experience , you release it and it makes a huge difference when it comes to your stress load . So you de-stress by writing about your emotional experiences . So that's where a course on journaling in organizations wanting to build resilience actually is a freaking powerful tool , and it doesn't have to be complicated . It can be like what did I go through today ? How did I handle those experiences ? How can I make it better ? How can I grow through that ? What did I learn through that ? Just writing about what's happening . That's the healing part . The more detail you write , the better it seems to work .
Speaker 1And then spending time in nature , in macro and microwaves microwaves , having more plants around yourself at home and in the office , looking at pictures of nature , listening to bird sounds Not necessarily in nature , just recordings of bird sound will lower your blood pressure and your stress level . Can you imagine that ? Macro-dosing nature , getting into the park or mountains or forest or wherever you're surrounded by more nature , more experientially , where you really are surrounded by it that's what we mean by macro-dosing nature , and the more of nature there is , the better it works for you . So getting into nature will help you recover much , much faster your mind and your body . And here you go Train it , frame it , release it . Psychology and biology this is the . I'm not sure if it's the best , but it's the most effective one and all encompassing that I've found . So train it , frame it , release it , put together and you're going to be an unstoppable machine to build stronger relationships as well , to create a strong resilience in yourself and in other people . So then you get together , or , by yourself , get through any challenge , any setback , which inevitably is brought by change , and so then you can get out there and turn more change into more success .
Speaker 1Stay resilient , and by that we mean put in the wraps in all domains , just like with getting fit . You don't get fit by thinking about it . You get resilient and fit by doing certain things regularly . So have your resilience practices for yourself and for your organization , for your team , for your people , and resilience is going to be an outcome . There is no magic around it . You don't think about it . You build it rep by rep . If you need more specific practices for your organization , your team , you personally , please do reach out . Always feel free to do so . Angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom , don't forget to share this episode with anyone who needs to understand resilience more . What it is . It's not just a word , it's a set of practices . So share this with anyone who you believe needs to hear that and needs a better playbook for resilience . And till next time well , till next time , put on your calendar some resilience practices . Start practicing them , one rep at a time . Get resilient and change and turn more change into opportunity for success . Talk to you soon and have a resilient kind of day .