Hey, guys, and welcome back to another episode of your Brain's Coach Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your Brain's Coach and also Executive Coach 360 here on a journey with you to learn, master and share well-researched, practical, applicable, cutting-edge recent, but also based on a lot of years of studies and research brain-body tools so you can take better control of your inner narrative, of your emotions and, most importantly, of your actions, so you shape the life experience, the future that you absolutely love living Today. Guys, I'm sharing with you a few tools from the new book it came out just maybe like a week ago Shift by Ethan Cross how to Manage your Emotions so they Don't Manage you. You know, it's one of those books that feels like a manual for a human being. There's been a lot of research into emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, resilience and stress management and, when it comes to emotions, based on my coaching practice, on my reading, on all my personal research, this book summarizes all of it that I had all these notes about how I regulate my emotions, how would I learn from other experts, how would work better for my clients and myself, and so I had all these notes and now this is the book which have all the most effective ones, and it's based on research. And the book, just like many non-fiction books these days, walks you through storytelling experience and while doing so, it gives you these tools and it teaches you how to apply these tools, in this case for emotional management or emotional regulation.
Speaker 1So you experience emotion, but you get to decide how to shift them so you could create the life experience, first of all, that feels better now, and then, second of all, that shapes your thinking, that changes your actions in a way that serves you better, changes your actions in a way that serves you better, that serves your life better, and the core idea. Before I tell you a few stories and illustrate the tools, how I use them, the most effective tools, I'm going to give you three most important tools from my perspective. Maybe they're not actually the most important, but if you manage to use these on a regular basis, I found that you're going to be in a pretty damn good place with controlling your emotions. So then you again take the actions that shape the life experience. That is the best that it can possibly be. So the core idea of the book is that, just like with thoughts, you can't control what thoughts are going to come into your brain every moment, minute, second.
Speaker 1The same with emotions. You can't really control how your body, how your brain, reacts to a specific thing in your life. You can't control for sure what's going to happen in your life. Just, you cannot control certain things. So you're going to experience certain emotions because on your previous experience, because on your inner narrative, because in your personality, your genetics, et cetera. So you can't control what emotions are going to come into your life and what life is going to bring to you, but you can't control what's going to happen to those emotions. You can't control what's going to happen to your thoughts. You can't control what's going to happen, what actions you're going to take. You can't control what happens to you, you know, as the saying goes but you can't control what you do with it. So the same with emotions.
Speaker 1And the purpose of emotional management, of emotional mastery, is not trying to control what you cannot control, but to learn how to direct the development, the intensity of your emotional journey, the unfolding of your emotion, how long it's going to linger or how short it's going to be, and ultimately, so you take the actions that, in the bigger picture of your life, make more sense and move you towards, into the direction where you want to go. The emotions, the development of emotions that serves your best, your better self, your better future. I want to share with you how I use them in a small moment, every single day. I've decided that in my life, I'm going to try to be one of the world's best at providing people with people who want to achieve a lot in life. Give everyday superheroes tools of self-management, of self-development, of self-mastery, so we all, as collective as humanity, could use more and more of our potential, more and more of our talents, to live the most meaningful life, but also create the positive impact in the world that we were destined, we were born to create, so to have the most meaningful life experience and to serve the world.
Speaker 1And in order to be the world's greatest, one thing is undeniably true you gotta work hard on self-mastery. You cannot get great by not putting in the hard work. Hard work and becoming great are inseparable, and so I decided that I'm going to commit to hard work. And by committing to hard work, it means not stopping, not giving up when it feels hard, but instead pushing through when it gets hard and you push through it. That's how you create a new level in yourself, internally and externally. That's how every single person who got great at something developed that greatness by not stopping, not giving up when things get hard. And so you're going to have to work hard if you want to become great at anything.
Speaker 1And so there are going to be a lot of moments when you feel tired, when you feel fatigued, when you feel like it's hard, like it's mentally, psychologically and physically hard. You're going to feel that it's unavoidable, but what are you going to do with that? That's going to define where you're going to end up. Are you going to stop and take it easy? Or are you going to push through and figure out how to make it happen, despite of how you feel, like what's the choice? And that's going to push through and figure out how to make it happen, despite of how you feel, like what's the choice, and that's going to define your future.
Speaker 1So every night, I often find myself feeling like I'm tired, I'm drained, sometimes fatigued, and my brain goes into this place of like, is it always going to be that hard? Like, do you have to push that hard? Does it have to be this, angela, just take it easy? My brain goes into this place, and every single human being's brain will go into this place. Your brain is designed to keep you in safety, in control, in the easy part. And why does your brain do that? Why is your brain designed this way? Well, actually, it's very simple To save energy, to make sure that you have more reserve to survive, which is fine for survival, but in our lives we have plenty of resources to survive. We don't really need this setting all that much. So, every evening, I feel drained, like I gave my all, and I need a break. I don't want to do anything ever. Is it always going to be that hard?
Speaker 1Sometime ago, I've learned, though, to shift my perspective, and when I shift it, my energy changes as well. I learned to rewrite my story, to create emotions, to create emotions that serve me best, that serve my better future. First, I traveled to the past. I remind myself Angela, you felt this way before, and every time, after a good night's sleep, you woke up ready to go again. You chased your dreams, you made progress, and the thought comes me. I said, yeah, I've been there and I've gone through that, and no, it's not going to feel that hard all the time. You're going to have good rest. You're going to wake up and you're going to get your energy back. That's why also, by the way, rest is important.
Speaker 1Then I travel to the future, a few weeks or months from now. I won't even remember this moment, I won't remember this evening. It's going to be nothing, it's going to be lost, but I will be living the results of my work, of my hard effort, which is going to stay, which is going to define my life, which is going to be the future that I'm going to be living through Now. Is it going to be the future that I love or is it going to be a future of regret? I will forget this hard moment, but I will be living the results of my work New career, new opportunities, new social circle, new adventures, all of the stuff that I truly desire. It's going to be there and I want to remember this hard work. You know, a few nights of sleep and you're done. You forget about this and you're going to get out of it stronger, more capable, with a completely new life experience. And then I look back, grateful, and then I keep going and finally, I talk to myself as I were coaching a friend.
Speaker 1Angela, you said you wanted to be one of the world's greatest. How do you think people get there? They push forward. When it's hard, they don't stop. This is how you become the world's greatest, and suddenly I don't feel tired anymore. I feel fired up, motivated, ready to go, and I haven't even slept yet. By the way, if you do it close to sleep might end up feeling too motivated to even go to sleep, and so you feel fired up, motivated, ready to go, and I haven't even slept yet. I shifted the shift. So this is the new book by Ethan Cross. It just came out Shift managing your emotions, so they don't manage you.
Speaker 1Again, the core idea is that you don't control what emotions happen to you, but you do control how you respond to that and what you're going to do with that and how your future is going to be affected. So I just shared with you three tools that I use on a regular basis, I'd say on a daily basis. Travel to the past. When things get hard, when the going gets tough, remind yourself of what you've been through. You've survived, grown, conquered this before you can do it again. You have the resources. Travel to the future. This moment will pass In hours, days or weeks. Things will be different. These, too, shall pass right. Don't let a temporary feeling derail your better future. Use it to fuel your better future. And then self-distance Research shows we give better advice to others than to ourselves. So talk to yourself in a second you or third Angela person. It helps you make wiser decisions. Hey guys, start using these simple tools. Travel to the past, travel to the future, self-distance. Today they're life-changing In research, in life stories, in case studies.
Speaker 1Pick up this book or listen to it on audio the Shift Managing your emotions.
Speaker 1So they don't manage you. You control the direction of your emotions, of your thoughts and your life. You're not in charge of what happens to you, but you are in charge how you respond and what's going to happen after when something happens to you. There is this fork in the road and a moment of choice, and you can choose how you react and what you're going to do and what stories you're going to tell yourself. And, depending on that choice and there are many choices throughout the day like this depending on the choice, you're going to create a different future. You go through this moment of choice every single day. So what are you choosing? Something that creates better future or something that creates the future you regret. Make a choice, shift your emotions. Hope this helps.
Speaker 1If it does help, please do share with at least one other person who you believe also needs this, who might be suffering with not being able to shift their emotions and emotions manage them, not the other way around. And you know they have the potential but they just can't get to it. So share this podcast episode with them. Give them this wake-up call. Tell them you know there is great podcast that is helping me to. The tools that are in this podcast are helping me to get through some tough moments. Yeah, make them aware. Let's help each other to be better at shaping our better future and unlocking our full potential to live the most meaningful life experience and create the positive impact that we know we can make in the world. Thank you for tuning in, for listening, for your attention, for learning and, hopefully, sharing and getting better. And till next time, manage your emotions for your better future. Don't let your emotions manage you. Talk to you soon. Have a emotionally managed kind of day.