Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your executive and change and transformation coach Health, mind work better and learning how to change better, faster, how to evolve using tools, best practices, neuroscience and other research, so together we can move ourselves forward in our lives, in our work, in our career and our global impact, and also help each other to grow, to evolve and to change things for the better. Evolve and to change things for the better. Today, guys, it's a fun mix a compilation of my own insights and best practices and lessons from some personal development gurus, like Tony Robbins, who's been around for like, I think, four or five or maybe six decades. He started early, definitely, on this path of self-growth and empowering our collective evolution.
Speaker 1We're also going to talk about some insights from the latest Andrew Huberman's podcast and how you can use it in your personal development to move through life with more self-awareness, more intention, ultimately not questioning your decisions all that much, but understanding. Why is it that you want to do things but then, at the same time, you don't want to do things? You're trying to talk yourself out of them. You want to grow and improve and achieve goals, but also there is like doubt and fear and often laziness, and you want to do and then you don't want to do it. Like, what is it? Why do we have that? What's wrong with our brain? So today you get a much better understanding what is actually very right with your brain and what's working in your biology and in your brain and, again, how you can use it in your life, in your career, to move yourself to the desired destination. And that destination can change. But the promise of today's podcast is to help you become more self-aware and use this knowledge to move towards the destination where you want to go, with more intention. And sometimes, again, that destination might be counterintuitive, like, again, you want to do a thing but you also don't want to do a thing. So in today's episode we are diving into this universal tension we all feel between the comfort of the familiar and the pull toward growth, new exploration, achieving, whether you decided to stay or move, rest or leap. This push and pull isn't just emotional, it's biological, it's psychological, it's so wired into everything we are as humans. It's how, again, we end up knowing what we should do but not doing it.
I'll share a story from home a lesson from a mountain and some powerful insights from neuroscience personal development giants like Andrew Huberman and Tony Robbins. So let's dig in. Very often, you know, I'm spending some time at home now, at my parents' house, and what would happen? You know I'm spending some time at home now at my parents' house and what would happen very often when I'm here is, after a couple of weeks, I start having this feeling like it's so comfortable and so familiar and so nice and I can even see myself doing, you know, some work here or basically staying here. So I start having this feeling, but then at the same time, I started missing my new home. Right now it's Cape Town new challenges, growth opportunities and all kinds of rewards, but also again, at the same time, challenges.
Speaker 1And I have this feeling on both sides of I don't know of my self-awareness, of my personality. Like seriously considering, some part of my brain is thinking about that, like staying here, but then the other side of my brain wants to go out as soon as possible and go into challenges and some adventures and exploration. Like, what is it? Why do I have both? Before I used to always struggle like should I reconsider my decision? Should I truly consider staying where I am, or what is it Like? Why do I have these competing feelings inside my personality, right? Why can't I just have one priority or something that I truly want, but they kind of feel both equally important. And Over time, especially after listening to this latest podcast of Andrew Huberman, I realized there is nothing wrong with my brain or these desires.
Speaker 1It's just, biologically, we are wired for two things at the same time, and you'll understand why and the reason behind this. At least it became a lot more apparent to me, or I can explain it a lot better to myself, became a lot more apparent to me, or I can explain it a lot better to myself. So, on one hand, our biology is wired to maintain what they call homeostasis or balance, to stay in the comfort, so we can maintain our body temperature, so we know where all of our resources are shelter, our food, our relationships. So we want to stay where we are, especially if where we are is quite comfortable and we have everything we need. So we want to maintain homeostasis because being in balance is very energetically saving, it's very safe and, again, for your brain, it means that you can get the resources that you need, whether in simply food or relationships, or perhaps even career and work opportunities, when you have everything you need, seemingly at least your biological needs, your brain has this desire to maintain this, because this supports your life and you're thriving and it's not threatening.
Now, on the other side, you have this other drive to pursue rewards, to explore, to achieve, to increase the potential of different rewards in your environment, because probably some part of our brain understand that homeostasis, or, as things are, it's never guaranteed, it's never going to stay the same and change is quite constant and your brain is aware of this fact, so that things change whether you do something or not. And so because of that, probably biology figured out that an organism needs to go out there and explore and increase the pool of opportunities, because, where we are, this pool might cease to exist or might shrink at some point, but in any case. So what neuroscientists like Andrew Huberman and a lot of other scientists learned is that our brain, our biological organism, has these two competing forces to make us keep, preserve homeostasis, balance, think where we are, and, at the same time, pushing us to pursue rewards and unknown and challenges and to expand our opportunities. And we have these two competing forces in us all the time. That also reminds me of this episode when I was climbing a mountain lion's head climbing, hiking you never know on that mountain with a friend and we were talking about this like why is that that we always have this? We want to stay with the familiar, we want to keep the career, we want to keep the partner, we want to keep again what we have, but at the same time, we understand, well, it's not enough. I want to keep the partner, we want to keep again what we have, but at the same time, we understand, well, it's not enough. I want to grow, I want to explore, I want to challenge, I want to figure things out. Why is that and what is the right answer? And the answer is that there is no right answer.
Speaker 1What I learned in myself and observing people in myself and observing people, it's a choice, and also that some individuals have inclination or have tendency to choose one over the other. Some people are just more into challenges, into growth, into exploration, into adventuring or venturing out, and then some people are more of maintainers. And that actually can change in different phases of your life. Like I noticed in women, once they become moms, their adventure spirit, at least for a while, becomes not as pronounced. They become more of homeostasis supporters. They want to create safe environment and maintain it, and so a lot of their effort is wired towards preservation and towards creating or enhancing, improving what is of creating. That's why maybe a lot of women as leaders as well. They're really great at helping the company to maintain thriving states without too much innovation and challenges and trying new things.
Speaker 1But anyhow and that also some people who are into growth in the middle of their life their 20s, 30s, 40s might get into more preservation and homeostasis, more choosing familiar more often later in life, in their 50s, 60s, 70s, later in life in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and some people I guess for me that would be maybe Richard Branson is one of the most pronounced examples, but there are many others who just love living in this growth stage, and here we can also think about Tony Robbins, who has this very famous phrase in life we are either growing or dying, and what he's actually talking about is we are either maintaining homeostasis or we're choosing to grow. We are choosing challenges, we're choosing to venture out and go and explore, and with someone like Tony Robbins, the purpose of life is to keep venturing out, and that's what he promotes and that's what he urges people to do at different phases of people's lives. He asks them to get out there and grow and learn new things and explore the edges of your life and your personality and your career. And I believe that people who gravitate towards the work of people like Tony Robbins, they are in their growth and exploration phase and that's why Tony Robbins talks. Not that's why, but that's why people who are driven towards Tony Robbins and his teaching are usually in the times of their lives when they feel stuck and unsatisfied and like is this all there is? And they want to explore and they want to learn and they want to improve and they want to grow. And that's when they find Tony Robbins and some people again, just never stop. And so my question to you is, or my ask to you is not to choose what is right or what is wrong, but ask yourself do I want to maintain more balance and improve what I have, or do I actually want to explore? And what do you care about more in life? About growth, exploration and challenges and challenges and moving things forward, or maintaining environments, or creating more balance and more thriving in the environment where you are. And again, there are different times in life where you can pursue either and also you can have a different personality, like myself. I just don't see myself ever settling for how things are. And you want to understand where you are on this spectrum.
Some people are extremely hungry and driven and asking them to choose between when is it ever enough? Well, for some people like myself or Tony Robbins or Richard Branson, it's just never enough, because the purpose of our lives, how we are wired, is in pursuit of growth, of challenge, of new, of expanding those opportunities. We are explorers in life. In the tribe we would be the people who would be venturing out and exploring new lands, so then the tribe can follow where you have more opportunity, where there are more resources for thriving. And then there are people who are more maintainers. Once we found new land, they're good at settling down and making everyone comfortable and again, all of the roles are needed.
Speaker 1But, for example, if you have a spouse, if you have a colleague, if you have a kid, who are growth and challenge and exploration oriented, you can't ask them when is it ever enough? Never. That's the purpose of their life to explore. That's how they're wired Like in their brain neurologically. They're literally wired through a certain combination of neural circuits and neurotransmitters and God knows what else. They're wired to get out there and pursue. They are wired for the future. They are wired to expand and again to ask them to stay where they are and be satisfied with what is. It's like asking them to be someone else and if you try to do that, you'll always lose, because you can't expect the person to become who they're not and a lot of things again, are biologically wired or not, and a lot of things again are biologically wired.
Speaker 1So if you decided to spend time or hire that person, work with that person who is driven for innovation, for growth, for disruption, asking them to be satisfied with how things are is the impossible proposition that they'll never be able to fulfill. Or they're going to be extremely unhappy, or they're going to start living double lives, when they're going to tell you one thing but go out there and find their fix somehow else. So be aware of that in others and in yourself. And if you know yourself, you know you're never satisfied with status quo, like I'm never satisfied with that. Then, once you feel this, opposing forces of staying where you are or getting out there or, for example, of keeping things the same, maybe keeping similar jobs, job or career or business, or getting out there and trying out developing something new. Once you understand where you are on this spectrum, you can make decisions much faster.
Speaker 1Because, again, taking personal example, I know that I'm never going to be happy, at least at this stage. I've never known myself in any other phase. I'm never going to be happy with staying where I am. So, for me, when I feel that urge to perhaps stay in the familiar, I know that the answer is no, because long-term I'm going to regret this decision, and I know this. I'm almost 38, going to be 38 in a few days. I know that from my prior history that choice never made me happy and I'm just never satisfied. I love exploring new ideas, learning, improving, challenging. That's why I'm also a good coach. I help people to see their growth potential and challenge themselves and get out of this minutiae and comfort that is so magnetizing to some part of our biology. Right, so that helps me to make better decisions about my life moving forward. Because, yes, I know that something might sound like you know, good salary, good relationship, good this or that, but I know that that comfort is not something that's going to make me feel fulfilled over long-term. And so, when there is a choice, should I stay with my career or should I pursue a new path, a new opportunity? I know that over long term, I'm going to be a lot happier with this new path and that is why I'm going to make choice based on that.
The second thing that you need to be aware is that these feelings of fear not being settled, this little bit of anxiety that comes before you make the jump, before you make the leap to go and explore new things, so that feeling or these feelings, are very natural. You're still going to feel them. I still feel fear, I still feel uncertain, I still feel anxiety. I still feel all this bag of mixed feelings, which is to say that, again, your homeostasis is trying to pull you back towards. Like well, are you sure, because we have a lot of what we need here. But then, once you start moving, once you leap into action, you start getting other kinds of feelings. You're going to start getting excited. You're going to have all the ideas, all the plans, all the confidence with taking new action and this again, even dopamine for exploring. You're going to start having this energy for pursuing you.
Speaker 1So understand this, that fear or this anxiety it's the part of this homeostasis that pulling you to stay where you are. But once you make the leap, make the decision and start taking action, that is going to be substituted with another whole bag of mixed feelings, but more on the excitement, action and pursuit side of things. So also understand that your feelings will change as soon as you commit and start taking action. And I think the most important part here once you start taking action, once you leap into this new territory, start also tracking progress as fast as possible. And that is important, because you still might have this sort of doubt like was it the right move?
Speaker 1And so if you want to persuade your brain to be more on board with change, and also when you work with people and you want to make them more comfortable with you, show them confidence, good things and signs of progress towards something desirable as soon as possible, even if it's small, right? Oh, we see you took this leap and you already have I don't know new relationship, or you have this new thing that you learned, or there is a new opportunity that you saw, or you got something. In whichever way, you can show yourself positive progress as soon as possible so you don't have this urge to go back and again. If you are someone who is wired for growth or at this stage of your life you want to create more of new, but you know that personally you are not really wired all that well for this adventuring then you want to show your brain signs of progress and of better things coming as soon as possible, even if those signs are through stories of other people, like maybe you have someone who moved to another country, who took a new job, who took a new life or career turn and you see positive examples for them. Read a book about that. There are plenty of books people adventuring and finding all the good stuff and new opportunities, because actually over long term when you get into growth, you expand your opportunities, not shrink them. So read books, get around people who are used, like myself, to venturing out, jumping and leaping, and they will tell you all about positive stuff that happened to them. So show your brain this more positive side if you want to again get into this growth stage and you're not really naturally wired for that. So there's another practical tip and I think the last but not least is around motivation.
Very often, to get yourself unstuck consistently, you need to be able to turn on your motivation juices for action. When you're pulled towards resistance or the status quo or not doing much, your motivation is just like any feeling is very malleable, like you can change it easily, and one of the best hacks to change your motivation is to change your focus, and I already started talking about that. How you focus or you talk to people, or you pay attention to people who made the leap, who got all of these opportunities, who got their career or life or relationship advancement right. Look at those people. Look at the inventors, look at the entrepreneurs you admire, look at people around you who ventured out, talk to people who made a change in their careers or their life. And then, when you're by yourself and you feel like you need to make a decision, but you're not feeling specifically motivated, even though you know you need to get into this new stage of your life. So what you can also do, ask yourself and this comes from solution-focused therapy Ask yourself this question, this simple question If I were to make myself the most motivated I can possibly be to do this thing, if I had all of the power to change my motivation like this what would I do?
Speaker 1What would I think of, what would I focus on? What would I do right now? And your motivated state also is wired a lot by your biology. So what helps me and a lot of my clients is when you need to feel more motivated, start moving, like literally get off your ass and go for a walk. That will give you a boost of dopamine, which is this molecule of pursuit, of achieving, of getting, after rewards. The reason why it's released, because it's also needed for your movement, but also the same molecule is used to get you feel motivated about anything, about forward momentum, breakthroughs, growth and challenges. So when you don't feel like doing much, literally move. Dancing also improves that even more, because music helps to accelerate that. So go for a walk with your favorite music, with some pump-up song that always makes you feel motivated.
Speaker 1And ask yourself this question if I were to make myself the most motivated I can possibly be for this thing that I'm struggling with, make decision on what would I do, who would I talk to? What would I focus on? What books would I read? What inspirational talks would I listen to? What step would I take? And do that? Your motivation again, just like any feeling, is the question of your focus. Where do you decide to focus? So ask yourself if I were to make myself the most motivated I can possibly be, where would I focus? Who would I talk to? What would I do? What action I would take right now? And then do this, something that you can do in the next five minutes. Do that and see how your motivation state will change immediately, just like this, because it doesn't take much for your brain to produce dopamine. Just do the right thing. Movement and music are the physiological hacks for that.
Speaker 1To sum it up, but before we sum it up, don't forget to share this podcast episode with at least one other person who might be struggling. Should I do this this? Should I stay? Should I venture out? Give them this podcast and let the podcast do the rest. Review or rate on any platform where you find this podcast. That helps our podcast to reach more people and more growing ears. So that is the best thing for me. If you find value in this podcast, please do that.
Speaker 1And to sum up this podcast, you always will have these two opposing forces One asking you to stay where you are homeostasis, preserving what is, and one asking you to grow, venture out, adventure, seek rewards. Right. It's biologically wired, so nothing wrong with your brain at all. A couple of things. You want to understand who you are as a person and if you are driven to seek out more, then seek out more. Put it to good use, innovate, evolve, grow, help others see opportunities right. You are that person in your tribe who gets out there and creates more opportunity. When somebody tells you you know, when is it enough? You can tell them never and send them to this podcast and explain to them why.
Speaker 1If you have people for whom it's never enough in your life or your work, understand that you need to put them in a place to go and explore and grow and push the boundaries forward. They are not the people who are going to be okay with status quo. So either go with them on adventure, put them in a place where they can venture out and leave them alone with this never enough nonsense. And in your life, when you need to get yourself moving towards that growth and pursuit, maybe listen to Tony Robbins. In life, you're either growing or dying. And also get yourself motivated by listening to music, by walking, by asking yourself if I were to get myself the most motivated I can possibly be. Who would I talk to? What would I focus on? What would I do in the next five minutes? And that's it for today, guys. Thank you for your attention, thank you for your energy, for your pursuit of growth and improvement, and till next time. It's never enough, and keep growing.