Hello and welcome, dear listeners. My name is Angela Sharina, your host, your coach, your partner in change, and today you are listening to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. On this podcast, we are bringing together people, theories, science-backed tools, strategies to improve ourselves, to create more positive impact, to build success and to change, to get wired for change, to grow, to master and, every day, become better than we were yesterday. And I always say better is always available. Now, every day, you might not be guaranteed that success or that outcome that you want, but you're always guaranteed that if you put your effort into something, it will get better. Today, I want to talk about decisions, and by the end of this podcast, you will have a very simple three-step formula for making better decisions and preventing you making decisions that you later regret in different areas of your life. You know the beauty of frameworks, of mental models or of decision-making models or business models, is that they are very versatile, and so, once you find the one that works, that truly works, you can apply it in so many domains. Like today, you're going to learn how to make better buying decisions, and by better we mean the ones that satisfy you and also that are fast, that take your energy and that get you where you want to go, whether that's buying a supplement or getting into a relationship or figuring out your next career step. Your ability to make better, faster, more satisfying decisions is how, a you make more progress towards something that feels fulfilling and, b it's a way to be happier in your life every single day.
Speaker 1Probably all of us guys had and have these moments when we make a decision, when we take certain action and then we regret it. And it's fine when we have those moments. We are not perfect decision makers, but if something keeps coming up over and over, and over and over and over again, it's probably worth looking into that and asking yourself where here do I have the model for decision making, the mental model or framework for thinking that shows up and brings me the results that I don't have in my life, Whether that's again purchasing something, eating certain things, not doing certain things, making decisions in relationship or in your career that you later regret. When you have this continuously showing up, regret, probably time to lean into your thinking, your decision-making, and analyze that. Why am I making this decision, this choice, over and over and over again, and how can I train myself? How can I create a better system to make better, more satisfying decisions and, most importantly, to take actions that bring you more results that you want and more fulfillment? Guys, if you didn't know that, but you have a couple of brains in your head, not physical brains, but different systems.
Speaker 1Daniel Kahneman, a world-known Nobel Prize-winning psychologist and behavioral economist and behavioral economist, in his book Think Fast and Slow and in his work, talks about different systems for thinking system one and system two. System one is that your automatic response, your habitual patterns of behavior. It's how you make choices and make decisions without really thinking, just because in the past it worked somewhat well, and so you keep making the same choice, you keep taking the same decision. So that is system one, not thinking, and that is how we often end up making choices over and over and over again, the choices that we later regret. And now then you also have system two, which is more deliberate slow thinking, when you actually take the time to analyze different options, however imperfectly, to hopefully come up to a conclusion or choice decision that works better overall, not just for right now, but for your long term as well.
Speaker 1And the thing is that many people don't sort of realize is those systems. A cannot work simultaneously. You either work in one or the other. But B depending on your physical state, how stressed you are, how depleted on energy you are, how much overwhelm you have, time scarcity, energy scarcity, attention scarcity, how overloaded you are, depending on the availability of those resources, one system gets working. So if you're getting stressed, overwhelmed, you don't have much attention, don't have much focus. There are just too many things.
More often than not, your system one the habitual, the automatic one will take over and give you the knee-jerk reactions and responses that might not necessarily work for you any longer and you'd like to make different choices. But that system kicks in and it kicks in anytime. You're in that stressed, overwhelmed, overloaded state, not really paying attention or I'd better say, not really having resources to pay proper attention to your decisions and your choices, to pay proper attention to your decisions and your choices, right. So system one will kick in. And the only way you can become more of a deliberate thinker or exercise your power of choosing and thinking and making decisions is when you learn how to pause, how to stop, how to bring your attention to the things that matter, to make a conscious choice instead of acting out of habit, but not only that, what is also helpful to create different habitual responses and create systems which will allow you to, even when you're stressed, overwhelmed and you know just, you have lack of time, lack of attention, lack of focus so even then you make decisions that you don't regret, that work for you now and work for you long-term. And so today I'm going to give you one of the frameworks that is super easy to implement and it will instantly give you a way to make decisions fast, especially in our today's environment where you have so many choices but really no capacity to evaluate all of them. Really. Well, right, how to just focus on a few aspects of any of the choices that are in front of you and then have the ability to make decisions that now and over long-term will satisfy you. So let's dive in into this framework and the beauty again of framework that it can work almost as fast as your automatic responses. After a while it will become your habit and it will become your automatic response, so it will save you time and energy and you can apply it even when you're stressed, overwhelmed, unfocused and just overloaded with things in life. Right, so you can apply it. Even that.
Speaker 1And the three-step formula. So the formula is really simple. The beauty of it, or the power of it, is applying it, seeing how you can apply it in different situations in your life. So the formula is whenever you need to make a choice or make a decision, choose between different options, you ask yourself what it is I need to do to accomplish, what's the goal of the goal, what's the end result or outcome, and why? So this is step number one what and why. What am I trying to accomplish, not just with this goal, and you'll understand in examples, but overall in my life or bigger picture. So, what it is and why, why it's the way it is. The second thing what are the must-haves, what are the criteria that the choice needs to meet in order to satisfy me now and over long term? And, number three, what are the deal breakers and those things for choices that keep coming up? You need to have in advance in order to make choices really, really fast. So I'll give you an example.
Let's say you make buying decisions around clothing or around shoes. I recently needed to buy a pair of shoes for my speaking on stage. So let's go through the formula, the framework A, what it is and why I need to accomplish here. I need to be on stage and I need to feel comfortable walking on stage, not worrying about whether I'm going to sleep or if I'm in high heel, that something's going to happen with my heels and I need to also watch my balance. So I need to be super comfy so I can actually dedicate my attention to focus to speaking, not thinking about my feet. Right, so what it is and why? So I need to speak on stage.
Speaker 1I need the shoes to match the outfit a lot of outfits that I usually wear, and this is the main objective of me buying the shoes. So the must-haves A they must be comfortable, absolutely have to be that. B they have to be white, because that's the outfits I usually choose for my speaking and that's about it. They have to be comfortable, they have to be white and they have to be casual style, again, to match my outfits. What are the deal breakers? Well, I don't actually want to invest into anything expensive and it's not that important. I might change those shoes I don't know in a few months, weeks or years. So I understand the price and I don't care about brand and uncomfortable If they're uncomfortable, no matter how good they look, if they're over a certain price, if they're uncomfortable, I'm not choosing those shoes.
Speaker 1And the beauty of having this list is, once I'm in the shop and I find those shoes, I'm like they're white, they're comfortable, they're going to match my style, fine, and so I'm not looking for the next best ever shoe. I'm like this is the shoe that matches all the criteria. I buy the shoe and I get the hell out of the store. And I was done when buying the shoes in 20 minutes. And I was done when buying the shoes in 20 minutes of getting into the store and getting out of the store with the shoes. If I didn't have any framework, I would be well, but maybe it would match this outfit and that outfit and maybe I could also use them for this and that. I'm like no, this is the objective of those shoes, these are the most important criteria. I'm like no, this is the objective of those shoes, these are the most important criteria. And once I found them also, you know, going to the store where I have the most, the biggest probability of finding those shoes I'm done and I'm out Now the same I use for, for example, buying supplements.
There are so many supplements and brands and stuff and it's overwhelming. And when you don't have a framework, you'll be choosing for hours and that's why many people don't choose supplements because like, well, what do I get? What is good, what is not good? What's the price? Good, not good? And you have so many choices and what my clients love about my nutrition work with them or me helping them choose supplements I'm like, okay, now I know how to choose it and whenever I find the first choice that meets these criteria, I'm going to be done.
Speaker 1So, for example, buying protein powder right, you have all these brands and this is better for this. Or should I buy collagen or should I? For protein powder, it's got to be whey, just because it has the best ability to turn into muscle and to do everything I care about. It has to be flavorful. I don't like just white. I like my stuff to taste kind of nice. The flavor I don't really care about, but I like something like pancake or cinnamon stuff and it needs to not have added sugar. So those are must-haves Whey, no added sugar and some flavor. What are deal breakers? Well, if it's hard to get super, expensive Again, I have a price for my protein powder and if it's hard to get, super expensive, I'm not getting one, but once I found like it's whey taste is nice, no added sugars done, I'm buying this stuff right, and it measures the price.
Speaker 1Now, for example, career A lot of people are going. A few people I'm working with personally are going through career transition and so where a lot of people get it really, really wrong this choice they're like I need to choose a perfect job. You know, like choosing a perfect thing is like looking for the perfect shoe or perfect partner. Like, as long as you are directionally right and all the must-haves and deal-breakers met, you're going to be fine. In fact, you're going to be happy and save so much time and headache and also regret like did I do the right thing? The wrong thing? There is no right or wrong thing and you will only find out while trying for those complex things. So for career again, let's go through the framework Number one what are you trying to do and why? Well, I'm trying to find the job that will give me the income that I want, the lifestyle that I want and also something that I see myself developing in I'm talking about myself personally and most of my clients Something that truly fulfills and satisfies me. So this is the point of me looking for this new career, because the old one. You know why I'm leaving it because it doesn't satisfy me any longer. So that's like what and why.
Speaker 1Now, what are the must-haves? Well, certain income. I'd like to have certain lifestyle, and usually I would go for minimum, because if you really love what you do and there is availability or potential for you to grow in that area After you hit your minimum, it doesn't really matter. For example, some of your must-haves might be flexible hours, because you know, my whole life I worked 9 to 5 or whatever, so I'm done with that. So it must be flexible hours. It has to be focused on results, not my hours. So if I do deliver a result, then I'm going to get my monetary reward for that. Right. It has to be, for example, might be not far from where I live, or might be the opposite, might be. I want to try working in another country and it must be in, for example, sales, or it must be in applied behavioral science, in business, whatever. That must be right.
Speaker 1Deal breakers, something feels off or I don't like people. Right If you're going to be spending hours and hours and hours working on the thing that you potentially like, but you hate people. It's soon going to be really, really old. So in order to satisfy that deal breaker, you kind of need to give yourself a trial period, right, you get into the job, you try it out and if you don't like it, well, you don't like it, you can move on. But now we have this criteria, and so the first thing you find okay. It's applied to behavioral science in business. The people seem to be wonderful there. They're working on interesting projects, it has the flexible hours, it satisfied my minimal pay. That's it. I'm done, right, and nothing feels off. So I'm going to try it out. And so, directionally, we are going where we need to be going. And, yes, there might be another perfect job, but who cares? Try it. And in almost every job that you kind of like, there is an opportunity for growth, for development, and you just never know how the future is going to go. So, and because you don't know, then why trying to predict it?
Speaker 1Another one for business. If you are an entrepreneur, what are we trying to achieve and why? Well, with my business. I'd like to make a difference, for example, right, and I'd like to achieve, and why? Well, with my business, I'd like to make a difference, for example, right, and I'd like to be at a certain level of income. That's the purpose, maybe, of my business.
Speaker 1Then what are the must-haves? It must be related to making a positive difference in people's life. It must be, again, something with behavioral change. It must be about solving an actual problem for people. I want to work with great people and the potential for income should be this right, the deal breakers.
Speaker 1If I have to do certain things that I hate doing, like a lot of work with papers or numbers or taxes, or it's working with people that I actually hate working with, right, maybe you B2B, b2c, like maybe the people that you can do work for can be companies, can be startups, can be individual individuals, and they can be of certain age, they can be a certain stage of life, so maybe there is a category of people that you hate working with, so put it there as a deal breaker. So, when you see it, you don't put yourself in the corner with your business. Or maybe you put yourself in a situation where you have to work odd hours and you hate working late when you're an early morning person. Right, you can create those must-haves and deal breakers and the good thing about that. Now, okay, you have this must-haves and deal breakers and you understand what you're looking for. So now when you're trying things, you have a very easy criteria to evaluate that thing on.
So another one for relationship might be relevant to you. For a relationship might be relevant to you. For myself, I decided a long time ago with my experience that A when I'm looking for a relationship, I'm thinking about romantic relationship it has to be partnership. So it has to feel like lifelong partnership, like we are a team on this journey and we are to enrich this journey for each other. That's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 1Some of the must-haves Must be open-minded, not just you know, it is what it is and that is how it goes. No, the person that I want to be with I'm very open-minded and I want the person to be the same Must be kind to themselves, to other people, give people the benefit of the doubt and realize nobody is freaking perfect, so just be kind, must be that kind of person which I aspire to be in every moment of my life. As well Must be their own person. What I mean by that is they don't need other people to make them feel good, or to make them feel like they matter, or they always need someone's attention. Or telling them, oh, you're so brilliant, or they need someone to take care of them. Like, I don't need that. I want this to be partnerships yes, we show up for each other because we want to, not because you have to.
Speaker 1And deal breakers for me smoking doesn't exercise, drinks often on a consistent basis, gossips and talks down to people or talks badly about people. So those are some deal breakers. Whenever I hear someone talking, saying bad things about people, I'm like you know, I don't need this vibe, whatever that is like at this point in my life, that I can choose the bullshit that I tolerate or don't tolerate. And I'm not saying it's like about person, I'm just saying this kind of stuff I don't want to happen in my life and which allows me to. When I see a person and they say, oh, you know, I like to party quite often and I'm into drinking habitually, like every other day, I'm like, yeah, into drinking habitually, like every other day, I'm like, yeah, it's your thing, not my thing, so I'm going to move on with my stuff. Or, for example, they need your attention every single day. And, yeah, again, you need to be taking care of them in some capacity, being there for each other, you know, in hard moments, through challenges etc. And being supportive is one thing. Being needy and like you have to be there for this person or they're not going to be doing well, it's another thing.
So let's repeat, let's recap this framework, the main idea here guys, if you don't have a way, a framework, a plan, how you make complex decisions fast and make them simple and easy, more often than not you're going to go for any choice and more often than not you're going to regret that choice because your emotion is going to get in the way. You're going to be distracted, unfocused, you're not going to have all of your attention present to make the best possible choice. So you're basically going to be at the whim of your own emotions and minute-to-minute fluctuations of your energy. And if you want to shape your life journey so it's fulfilling and satisfying and brings you to places that you want to go to, you need to have frameworks to prevent, to protect yourself from your own biases and your own you know emotional stuff, and that's where mental models, decision-making frameworks, are really helpful. One other thing I wanted to mention here is it's not just about frameworks, it's also about creating boundaries that you know will help you do better, even when you are at your worst Not necessarily at your worst, but maybe not your best.
Speaker 1For example, if you know that you tend to purchase something that you later understand, you know I don't really need it, I don't know why I bought it and you know it became kind of a pattern, like for me and books. That was a pattern at some point, like I would buy these books and never read them, I would just get excited. And then there were books that I actually wanted and needed to read, but anyhow I would just get excited. And then there were books that I actually wanted and needed to read, but anyhow, there were some purchases that I was just you know I didn't need that and my money would be better distributed somewhere else. So what I did for myself is, outside of things like buying food or buying stuff that I need day to day, all the other purchases I make them on Saturday, and Saturday just works for me and I would write down all the things that I thought about buying that will come up during the week and on Saturday I would sit down. I don't really need this, and you know what I learned? Most of the stuff that I thought I wanted so much. Actually, in a few days, all of this passion for this thing disappears. I saved money for something which is more meaningful, and I'm just satisfied with my choices and overall decisions. So having this rule for myself is really helpful. To be more mindful about my purchases.
That's another you might say decision-making framework or model. And again, the point of this podcast today, guys, is there is no perfect way to make decisions that will work absolutely for everyone. But I guarantee you that if you don't have any models for simplifying complex decisions, that more often than not you're going to regret the decisions you make. And some of those decisions can be life-changing and you might get yourself in the corner not so easily to get out of, and that might be relationship, that might be career, that might be the place where you live a number of things. There are decisions that really define the quality of your life, and so for those decisions, you need to make sure that, before you make a plan, you have a decision-making framework that you know works for you. That's it for today, guys. So, to recap, to make good decision about many different things in your life, have a framework.
Speaker 1The one that I recommend applying trying to apply this week, maybe this month is three-step formula, three-step decision-making framework. Number one what it is I'm trying to achieve and why. To help you answer the second and third question so what's the outcome? Right, what am I trying to achieve here? What's the goal of the goal? Number two what are the must-haves this choice must-meet that are really meaningful and important to me and what are the deal-breakers? Like, if this has this, no matter what other must-haves it has, the best thing in the world, if this has this, like for me, smoking in another person in relationship, I'm like, no, I am just not getting there ever. So, those three steps, what it is and why. Number two what are the must-haves? Number three what are the deal-breakers? And having that, having practiced that in advance, will help you make better decisions and be satisfied with those decisions.
Speaker 1Even when you are stretching time, when you are overwhelmed, unfocused, don't have all of your attention, fatigue, don't have all of your attention fatigue, don't have all of your energy, but whenever you are making a choice that feels that it might be important, you're like okay, what am I trying to achieve here Real quick. What are the must-haves? What are the deal-breakers? Does it have this? Doesn't? Then? Move on when you find it fine. I on when you find it fine. I'm going to be happy with this choice and move on with your life as well. That's it for today, guys.
Speaker 1I hope this podcast was useful. If it was, please do share review. Please send it to another person, maybe to your relative, to your spouse, to your kid, to your friend. Talk about that. Let's help each other make better decisions to live more fulfilling lives. So please do share. Also, feel free to reach out, Maybe Instagram. Angela Brain Body Coach. Angela Brain Body Coach. One word, and until next time definitely keep getting better and also keep working on making better decisions, because our decisions define the quality of our life. Until next time.