Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shorina. I'm your host. I am your partner in change and transformation, your health brain body coach, uh, executive leadership coach 360. We are here to talk about brain body strategic systems for work. We're here to build tools and research to get better at this process of growing ourselves, of changing ourselves to create a better life experience for ourselves, people around us, and create something remarkable in the world, something worth talking about. And today you're gonna learn a few strategies that will help you to create more meaning in your life, to deliver more impactful results by learning how to build systems and engage in specific practices that are very effective to again just help you grow and deliver your best results and performance. And I'm gonna start with a personal story, a something happening just happened in my personal professional life, I'd rather say. I just delivered a masterclass to about 100 leaders, and the masterclass was focused on learning how to lead and change and manage yourself in order to lead others better. The masterclass works for leaders all across a few regions in one great insurance company, and to prepare for this masterclass, well, in a way that allows me to produce results and impact and have a positive influence, the kind of influence that changes what people do. I in order to even give myself a chance to do that, I needed to engage in specific practices and protocols and systematic way of thinking in order to be able to do that. And today I want to share with you these tools that I've learned from other amazing experts and thought leaders and professionals, the people who create positive difference in the world. So, first, I last night I needed to make a choice. I needed to choose between whether I would go for a hike today or in the morning before this masterclass that I told you about. That was kind of important for me. So I needed to choose whether to do the hike and then leave minimum time for preparing my systems, for practicing things, for putting final touches on my presentation and my delivery, right? So I had a choice to go for a hike and have minimum time to do all of that, rushing through things, or to not go for a hike, even though the weather is gorgeous and there are people who I would love to connect with, and it would be amazing time. So there was a choice. And one choice felt good, like going for that hike and then rushing through the preparation. So that choice felt good in terms of oh, I want to do it, right? I wanna go for that hike and then do the masterclass. But then there was a choice which felt right, and that meant, no, actually, I do need to create more focus and calm state of mind, and I would be so much better if I stayed in, did some yoga at home, and then dedicated the rest of the time to practicing before delivering that important masterclass. And so I chose what felt good, what felt right, right, that's the right word. And many so many other in so many other situations in life before, I would choose what felt good, and then ending up delivering suboptimal results, results that I was not that proud of. So I would choose something that felt good at the moment versus what felt right and over long term, long with the long perspective in mind, produce better results. This time I chose differently. And what I'm learning in my life right now, and perhaps that is useful to you, that there is a difference between what feels good and what feels right, with our emotional and logical self playing together and making the choice that doesn't just deliver good feeling at the moment, but also long term produces more balanced outcomes, something that we are more proud of. So that is the skill that I'm learning and putting into practice, and with my clients, the same. I'm there in our coaching sessions to help them think through the choices that don't just feel good at the moment, like whether that's delivering a specific thing to a client or solving a specific issue in business, maybe the issue that shouldn't be solved in the first place, and the time should be dedicated to thinking what uh problems to solve instead, or what clients to serve. So, with my clients as well, I'm going through this, I'm helping them to work to think through these choices, what feels good and maybe also familiar, and something that you're used to doing, and what feels right, what is might not be the easiest choice to do, and you might feel like you're losing or missing out. You know, I'm not gonna meet these people at the hike, and I'm gonna be left out instead of uh my own community. But then when I think about my life long term, that is the kind of choice that I need to do to feel right. Uh, and that brings me to the second point, the second system that I'm working on myself, uh on incorporating more and more in my life and working with clients as well. This idea of thinking in advance how to best allocate your time corresponding with your energy levels, with your cognitive, mental, emotional state. Allocate your time in the best possible way to create the best possible outcome. Like preparing for this workshop yesterday, putting in more practice, I wanted to put in two, three hours on preparation. The hours where I'm the most focused, most creative, most like the sharpest self I usually am. And I know that that only happens in a few hours in the morning. And so instead of going to work out and doing a bunch of other things before uh uh starting working on preparation for the workshop, I decided you know what? I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna do a couple of things, go for a short walk, and then gonna dedicate those three hours to what matters at the moment the most, and that is preparing for this workshop. And that is what I did. And again, the choice felt right, and it felt like that was exactly what my best self would do. And a bigger theme here is learning where you are at your best, and all of us with enough attention can figure that out. Like these are the hours when I'm truly at my best, and then asking yourself on a regular basis, what do I want to allocate this time to? What is the most important thing of the day which will require me to be in that good state of mind, of emotions, of focus, right? Me, myself, and you also are not the same person when you are at 6 p.m. as you are when you are, let's say, at 10, 11 a.m. when research says is the peak time for a lot of people. Peak time for focus, for attention, for this sharpness of mind, right? And at the end of your day, you're not the same person. So if you schedule the things that are the most important in your work, in your life, or the time when you're not at your best, guess what? Results are not gonna be the best, and you're not gonna be able to put in your best effort and your best work. So this is theme number two, which requires you to connect your logical emotional self and to come up with the choice that feels right. A time allocation, allocating it with this idea in mind that you are at your best at specific hours during the day, right? So figure those out and allocate them accordingly to the most important tasks. That brings me to the next point that in order to do that, to allocate your best hours for your best work, you need to get good at something else. You need to get good at saying no to your own wants and desires, like going for a hike, and to other people who want to meet at 10 a.m. in the morning when you them know well, like this is my prime time to work on things that truly important, whether that's strategic planning or working on that piece of coding or working on that presentation for the client, like whatever that might be, you know, like this is my best time, but then people want me to meet at that time. You need to learn how to say no, and there is a better way to say no, which a will be easier for you to do. We all to some degree are people pleasers, we are social creatures, and it is hard for us to say no to someone when somebody uh invites us out, when somebody asks us to do something. Like we want to do that, especially if that's the person that uh we care about, that we like, or in some sort we want to work more with, spend time more with, or uh we value their opinion. It's hard to say no. And here's a simple tool, two-step tool, which I learned from the woman, the doctor Vanessa, well, just doctor, Vanessa Patrick. And I heard about her work. I learned about her work on my favorite hidden brain podcast. If you're a fan, say who So Vanessa Patrick, Dr. Vanessa Patrick uh came out with a book some time ago, The Power of Saying No, the new science of how to say no that puts you in charge of your life. And so Vanessa has this simple two-step process to be able to say no to those invitations, collaborations, ideas, opportunities that we want to say yes to because of our people-pleasing nature or because we like some, but we know that it's not really in our interest and we need to dedicate that time, like allocate the time to something else. So, how do you do that? Step number one, create a cooling of buffer. So when somebody asks you to do something at a specific time, you say, and no exception, that is the rule. That is from now on how you're gonna respond when somebody asks you to do anything. Let me get back to you later. Today, tomorrow, like depending on the context, right? I need to check and you're gonna I need to check with my calendar and make sure that I can actually do that because I you know always forget and might miss something. Like, I'm gonna get back to you later today. That is your to-go response. Also works for ideas that keep popping up, even though you know you need to work on this idea to make it remarkable, make it into something good instead of jumping all over the place. Right? So when idea pops into your mind, you're like, sounds great. I'm gonna write it down and revisit it this weekend or in a week from now, and you put it on your calendar and let's see if that lasts. So this is step number one: create a cooling of buffer, especially in the situations when with others. I'm gonna get back to you later today, tomorrow. And I wanna make sure that I actually can do that, right? Step number two, use empowered refusal. Like if you feel you need to give a reason or the person needs to have a reason, you might say, Well, you know, I have a lot of projects right now and I don't, and this is the key, you use the don't or not can't, and I'll explain why based on research. So I don't take uh any new projects at the moment, but I can get back to you in such and such or in so and so time. Or I don't do coffee charts during the week. Just I don't. I don't do this, right? Or I don't commit without a 24-hour check with my calendar or people, right? I just don't. And the reason why you want to do that, to frame it like I don't, not I can't, because I don't means a personal boundary. I don't signals conviction to others and to yourself, this is what you do, this is who you are, and nobody would ask you to change who you are for their benefit. The buffering side of it interrupts the emotional spike when you are asked to do something, you're like, Yeah, I want to do that, or that's so exciting. You need to eliminate that to make good long-term decision. And again, when you frame the reason as I don't, it signals to people that that is not just you can't do for some reason that can be negotiated, but it's part of you, part of your identity. It's like when somebody offers you a piece of meat and you're a vegetarian, you're like, I don't eat meat. And so they're not gonna be telling you, Oh, try it, it's all good. No, you're not gonna change yourself for this one offer. So try this from now on to be able to allocate the time to what matters, the right kind of time, and to do what feels right, not just what feels good at the moment, like saying yes, right? Try it when somebody asks you to do something. Say, can I get back to you later? I'm just gonna check my calendar and other commitments. I'm not sure if I really can. Or also and use you know, I I can't do that when you replying to them later because I don't. I don't do coffees during the week, I don't take on new projects while I'm working on other projects, but I can get back to you, right? These two steps will allow you in a in a way that feels good, feels manageable, which allows you to turn off this emotional spike, to say no, to be able to say yes to the right things. And that brings me to the next system, to the next idea that uh is very useful for you to to make the right kind of choices, the choices that feel good now and feel right long term, to allocate time to what matters and say no to what doesn't matter. We need when we start something, when we want to commit to something, first and foremost, we need to develop systems to make it happen. We need to have some systematic way to deal with the issue, but otherwise you're not gonna do it. Because there is a saying confused customer says no every time. So confused mind also says no to everything, and it does what's easiest, most clearest, the habitual thing that you usually do. So systems with a few clients, we are working on preventing burnout, on managing burnout systems better, or things like you know, when you have a lot of things to do, you push, push, push, and then you get sick, and then you know you recover and you push, push, push, and you get sick. Like a very common journey. So, how do we interrupt that pattern so you don't ever push that hard so you get sick every time after? One of the key things to work with patterns like that is you need to have a way to interrupt that pattern and act in a different way so the result is different. Like, for example, when you experience that push, push, push period, and so you don't get yourself into burnout or getting sick. A, how do you the system might be and the system that I use? A how do you recognize when you're getting into that space? And based on objective data and research, uh, you can use systems like when my sleep gets interrupted, or I get fewer and fewer hours, when my heart rate consistently stays up by about 10% or more, when my heart rate variability goes down for 10 or more percent consistently. Those are the signs, plus, you know, you might have stiffness or uh headaches like some people would have, or you might have some pains, and all of these systems are your signals, and they're a little bit different for different people, but things like heart rate, resting heart rate, or heart rate variability that can be measured with one of the variables you might have, or restless sleep. So those are the signs that you are pushing too hard. And when you see those signs, now the second part of this toolkit, you need to have a plan or this system, you need to have a plan what you're gonna do then. Some of the things that we do with my clients are setting a limit then for your work hours and usually making it shorter than usual instead of let's say eight hours, uh say six hours. Increasing your sleep time doesn't necessarily mean that you're gonna be sleeping for all these hours, but it means that you're gonna be in bed and recovering for let's say nine hours, because you know it takes time to fall asleep to prepare, etc. Scaling down your workouts, like instead of doing one hour, now you're gonna be doing just 20 minutes. Priorities list instead of working on everything, asking yourself every day, what are two things that I'm gonna focus on today or this week? What is one thing which will limit your busyness, which will help you to manage your workload a lot better. And also things like breaks. I'm gonna take one hour break in the afternoon. So those are the systems, the action steps that we take on once we have the red flags of showing us that we might be pushing too hard and we might be again setting ourselves for getting sick after. And we don't want to do that. Systems over inspirations, over uh promises, over uh oh yeah, I understand this, right? Systems over words, and that leads me to the next point. So we have a new months that just started. So whatever it is that you want to improve the habit, the behavior, the action, instead of this time again asking yourself to be more disciplined or use more willpower or just hoping that you'll do your very best this time and you'll do better. Instead of that, ask yourself every day about this habit or action that you want to take. What one thing in my systems I can improve or change to make that thing that I want to do easier to do. Default, like on autopilot. Like, for example, you wanna eat more vegetables? Well, make sure that you have easy to eat vegetables every day in your fridge or fruit or whatever that might be. And then the second question, every day for the month of October, ask yourself what is one thing that I can remove in my systems, in my setup, that will help me to make again this thing easier. So the first question is what can I add? Like more vegetables. The second thing, what can I remove? Like removing more things from your schedule. So the thing that you actually want to do, this project that is very important, like this master class, gets a lot more time for preparation. Right? Once you remove things, you're like, well, I might as well work on this workshop because I have nothing on my calendar. Right? So for the rest of this month of October, ask yourself these two questions. Now, this thing that I want to improve, that I want to work on, that I want to do every day. Look at your systems and ask yourself, how can I make it easier? How can I add something to make it easier? And then how can I remove something to again make it easier? Or how can I eliminate stuff? So the thing that I want to do is not as hard. Add and remove, add and remove, adding vegetables, removing commitments, and that's where your ability to say no will really help. So to sum it up, what today's podcast was all about. It's about creating systems for growing your best self and delivering more remarkable things, things that are worth talking about, not just mediocre stuff stuff that you tick off your to-do list. So we started with a choosing what feels right over what feels good at the moment, what we want to do. Allocating time to things according to their importance, your best time was the most important thing, and then to do that, to practice two steps to become better at saying no to all the people pleasing and yes to your most important projects. And here we have putting a buffer, you know. Can I can I get back to you later? Or also saying, adding as a no, you know, I don't take new projects on when I'm in the middle of a few other projects. So let me get back to you later on that. And then creating systems, not just relying on some commitments or aspirations to do better or promises, but instead creating systems to make what you want to do very clear and straightforward, if not easy. If you can make it easy, do that. And my challenge to you is for the rest of this month, every day, ask yourself two questions. What can I add to do the thing that I want to do easier? And what can I remove to make it possible and easy as well? Add and remove. Ask and take action and see what happens. That's it for today, guys. I hope you found this podcast insightful, useful. If you have any questions about any systems, about anything that you heard on this podcast, if you need additional advice, resources, anything, just ping me. Angela Brainbody Coach on Instagram, probably the easiest way to find me, or Angela Shurina on LinkedIn. And till the end of this month, till the end of October, let's commit to working on better systems to deliver the choices, the work that doesn't just feel good in the moment, like ticking off that thing from your to-do list or saying yes to an invitation, but also feels right along the room. Thank you for your attention, for learning and growing, and till next time, let's get wired for change.