Hello and welcome to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina. I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, personal and collective transformation, your executive health high performance leadership coach, and just someone who is really passionate and obsessed with learning how to upgrade ourselves, how to change ourselves, how to grow the absolute freaking best version that can that we can possibly be in our lives, given all the circumstances. I always repeat to myself and to my clients that yes, there is a lot of potential in each of us, but also we need to be a little bit humble, that the degree to which we are able to grow that potential also highly depends on the environment, on the context, on where we find ourselves in. But we often forget that in order for that kind of life to happen, they have to be born in a specific era, in specific circumstances surrounded by specific people. So exactly that path could be done. And it's not the case for everyone, you know. Speaking, let's say about Bill Gates, it's not like we could have been born in that era where all the personal computing was just emerging, and our parents just happened to be in that specific area and in a specific position to give that kid that computer at the beginning of this whole thing, allowing Bill Gates to learn the things that he needed to learn to become the founder of Microsoft that we know him for. Right? So circumstances are a huge part of what we get in our lives, no matter where we start. Yes, we have a lot of agency, and I'm as a coach is all for developing that agency, that ability to work on ourselves. But also, we need to remember no man is an island, and we all depend on the environment where we find ourselves in. Just like a planting a seed or a plant or growing a garden, you can't you can have the best freaking seeds out there, the best genetics. But if you put it in a dry soil with not enough nourishment that it requires to grow into its best version, there is no freaking way you can grow the potential that it had in it. So the same for human beings. But anyhow, today, guys, by the end of this podcast, I hope to change your mind, to open up your perspective, to start looking for things that you can change, but you rarely look at changing. Things that shape the way you decide, the way you think, the way you feel, and ultimately the what you're gonna do with your life. Four invisible forces that shape how we decide and what we do, changeable things that we rarely think of changing. We actually, humans, are pretty good at looking at ourselves or other people and saying, you do this because this is the way you are and you choose to do so. Whether that's again uh speaking about ourselves or someone else. And we forget to look at all the contextual things that actually shape and shape the way the person thinks, behaves, and shows up. And when we start seeing those invisible forces, we can actually start shaping them. So they shape us back, and we end up having and developing more potential in ourselves and in other people instead of fighting the battle with those invisible forces. So let's dig in. How did this episode come to be? Yesterday I interviewed for this podcast Michael Halsworth. Michael is one of those iconic in behavioral science in this niche world person. If you've studied behavioral science or if you read about it, if you work with it, you know who Michael Halsworth is and you know what he does. He is a chief behavioral scientist at BIT, Behavioral Insights team, which is a research and innovation consultancy, one of the leading ones, uh which focuses on human behavior to improve people's lives. So I had a pleasure to interview Michael for the upcoming episode for Changewired. Um Michael recently published his second book, Hypocrisy, How We Judge People and Ourselves Can Change Our Lives. But also on this episode, we talked all the things behavioral science and behavioral change at scale. You know, Michael helped uh change uh behaviors at scale, and that in this specific case means countries and huge organizations. He helped uh the governments in the US, for example, to get better tax compliance, basically make people pay more tax on time and the way they're supposed to do it. He also helped with things like uh hospitalization and people showing up for their appointments at hospitals and many different things again that Michael helped governments and organizations to shape and change to improve people's lives. And during our conversation with Michael, we talked about one of the reports that he authored on how behavioral science needs to change in order to create more positive change in the world. And the reason why I wanted to bring the four elements or four shifts that Michael talked about in our conversation yesterday, which you're gonna be able to listen to in the near future in about a month. We talked about these four forces or four shifts that need to happen in behavioral science, but they're very much applicable to our daily lives, to how you make decisions and what actions you take or don't take, how you behave in the real world. These things shape the way you do things, and that changes your life and the lives of people around you and the whole world. And that's why I wanted to talk about that and also talk about how you can apply that to help yourself to change more intentionally, more mindfully, and in the direction where you want to grow. So let's dig in. Number one, see the system. We often again think that the way we behave, we do things, we think, we make choices, is our agency, our autonomy, our free will, which is actually not entirely true. We do a lot of things that we do because we are surrounded by systems, our social environment, our place where we live, our home, our smaller and bigger social community, the way we make things easier or more difficult. Let's say if you want to sleep earlier, but then your whole evening is designed to keep you awake and your brain active, that will make your choice of actually following through with this decision, let's say, to sleep early. This will make a whole process a lot more difficult. And again, not because you are not able to make this change, but because the system is optimized for getting you to bed later. And so the first question when you're trying to change your behavior, keeping the system in mind, the first question you want to ask yourself is what is my system optimized for right now when it comes to the behavior that I'm trying to change, or the changes I'm trying to introduce in my work, maybe on my team, in my organization, people I lead, or just with myself and my family. What is the system that we have right now optimized for? The system, every system is perfectly designed for the results it's getting. So if you're getting a specific result, health work relationships, that be aware that it's not just you, and actually, to a larger degree, the system around you. So see the system, step number one, to change the unchangeable things, the force, the invisible force that shapes your behaviors and actions that you don't always think of changing. In my work, when I work with clients, when they say I want to achieve this, but I struggle with X, I don't look at them. I look, I help them to look at the systems around them to make the thing the change that they want to do easier versus making it a struggle or an uphill battle. So see the system invisible force, number one. Number two, think social. Guys, we again think so often that it is us who make decisions, who make certain decisions or uh the way we think, the way our minds are shaped, the way we feel. We often think that it's us, but down to the way you eat, you dress, how much you decide to work, how you parent if you're a parent, how you rest. All of this are norms, social norms that you grew up into, that surround you 24-7. You are always in this social bubble. No man is an island. You grew up to a specific time, specific culture, you are surrounded by specific people, and it shapes your decision making and your action taking. Again, even the way you choose to dress, that is shaped by the people you were exposed to. You're not dressed like a medieval knight or a princess for a reason, right? It's not a personal preference, believe it or not. It's the culture, it's the people, and it affects everything you do, think, and uh create down to like uh every detail, the way you even choose your technology or the way you choose what to have for breakfast, all of that to some degree is shaped by your social environment. So if you want to, let's say communicate differently, you wanna make sure that you want to ask yourself, does my social environment support that new version of me? Because if it doesn't, and you don't work with people to help change you, it's gonna be a battle, and you're gonna feel the discomfort and you're gonna find it more challenging, and you go you're always gonna feel this dissonance, which again makes it feel like it's not a normal thing that you're trying to do, and which will make the change a lot harder. So whether you're trying to better or exercise or make better, bigger, better calculated uh bets and risks, whether you are trying to manage your team better, you always need to ask yourself how do I make my social environment align with that? How do I bring other people on board? So your social brain is in alignment with what you want to do personally with other parts of your brain, right? So think social, never think like you are an island because you aren't. So this is invisible force number two that shapes everything that you do, and that you can change. You can work with people, you can change people you surround yourself with, or you can change people who you pay attention to, let's say on social media. So, social environment, we don't often look at changing that, but it's another very powerful invisible force that shapes everything you do, you think you are. Number three, invisible force number three, flexible framing. There is this phrase, the way you look at things changes things, and it simply means that when you change your perspective, you change how you evaluate things, bad or good, and what you choose to do about those things. And in our conversation with Michael, he uh he just emphasized that he used to think about things in more black and white, like this is how it is, or that is how that is. But then in his work, with more and more experience, he realized no, you know, actually, it's how you look at things, and that's what shapes the solution you create, and whether that solution can be more or less effective in different environments. Let's again, let's take sleep. Seen individually, if you want to change your sleeping time, it feels like an uphill battle against late-night emails, social pressure, and everyone saying uh you know, you're missing out. We'll sleep when we're dead. Yep. So when you take it individually and you start looking for individual solutions, it might feel like a lot of struggle, something really misaligned with your law life. But then if you reframe it and you look at it from a social perspective, to change your framing, how you look at things, look at it from the perspective of a family unit or a team unit, collective upgrade, and suddenly you create team efforts, suddenly you build shared routines, understanding, and and you believe, suddenly you get natural accountability, and your emotional resistance drops to zero. And also you start looking for different solutions, not how I can battle through it, but how can I bring more people on board? How can I make a team effort? How can I create a bigger ripple, a bigger difference, and more positive change? Because I think that is important, and the solutions you're gonna come up with are completely different than if you look at it from a single person perspective. So, a lot of times when we are stuck at creating solutions, we just need to change how we frame the problem, and because of that framing, we will start thinking in a different way about the solution. So, flexible framing, it's another third invisible force that shapes your decision making, your thinking, your life. And again, it's something that you can shift. It's like one of those pictures, you probably saw some of them. An optical illusion. When you see a picture and you are asked, do you see an old woman or a young woman? And depending on how you look at that picture, it actually contains both. Or also another one is rabbit or duck. Do you see a rabbit or a duck? And actually, and you can even Google rabbit, duck, optical illusion. And depending on how you look at it, you see duck or a rabbit all at the same time on the same picture. So the same is in life. The reason why we often can't find a solution isn't because there is no no solution, it's because we are looking at it from a different perspective, the perspective that doesn't allow us to see the solution. So flexible framing and visible force that shapes how successful we are with creating solutions or changing our behavior. And the last but definitely not least, but before we jump into that, is do me, you'll do me a huge favor if you'll help me to spread this podcast to more ears and share, review, put a star, leave a comment, especially if you are on iTunes, Apple. This help to spread this kind of content to more people to grow it so we shift our collective thinking faster, right? So can you help me? Can we do this together? And speaking about together, invisible force, number four, co-designing. I don't know about you guys, but then again, no man is an island. But I deal with a lot of change of other people. As a coach, I help people change behavior. The tricky part about that, when even when people ask you to help them to change, if you tell them how to change, they won't change. You could have a lot of resistance. It's like this game. You ask me to change, but you don't want to do what I tell you to do. Yes, exactly that. And that happens again if you are a if you have a partner and you're trying to create some results together. If you are a parent, if you are, if you lead a team, entire organization, some initiative. It's applicable to all of these cases. Always, always, always, when we try to create something involving other people, we need to think about how we can design this solution, the path forward together. So, in terms of coaching, how can we brainstorm the way to this result together so you also feel the ownership? And plus, if we work with other people, and especially if you're trying to help them to introduce change in their life or their work, they are experts of on their own life or on how they do their best or how they function. So getting their input and actually just helping them to brainstorm or see different solutions, that is a much more effective way on effective way of actually seeing the best possible solutions. Because again, we don't see other people's inner talents and strengths, but they are somewhat usually more aware of what works for them and what doesn't. But not only that, all of us humans we have this essential need, what is called autonomy. Uh it's a part of self-determination theory, so which states that all humans, actually, probably most of the animals, uh, anything that has a brain and has a will to take action, we have this need to exercise our free will to make choices, make decisions, and take actions as we decide to. We don't resist change, we resist change when we feel like it's done to us, not with us. So whether it's again helping clients to rebuild their health habits or working with leaders, helping them to redesign team rituals, or helping the parents to shift their family routines, again, helping leaders to completely reinvent an entire culture. If I or you as a leader or someone who's trying to create change, walk in in the situation with the perfect solution, resistance will spike. If we build solution together, speaking about uh spreading this podcast to more ears, helping together to create the change, right? If we build it together, momentum and cooperation skyrockets. And this works because again, humans want to be in charge, autonomous agents. Everyone is an expert on their life. We want agency, we want ownership, we want to feel like this is our idea or done with us, not to us, that it is not someone else's plan imposed on us. Change happens and sticks and transforms and lasts when people feel like they're on the same team, like we are walking the past together, side by side. So, core designing, core creation, another invisible force that shapes your behavior, my behavior. So when we work together, whether uh even when you're working on your own habits, guys, that is very, very important. So listen up. When you're working on changing yourself, ask yourself more often how would I do it if I were on my own team? If I were not to battle with myself and force myself and impose this will on myself, but instead, if I decided to be on my own team, how can we do this? You know, you and I you together as a team in a way that feels aligned with who you are, and when you stop this battle within, but instead work with yourself, amazing changes can happen, and you'll be amazed at how much greatness and effort and just great work you are capable of. So four uh forces, invisible forces that shape your thinking, your decision making, your actions in your life, that four changeable things that we don't often think of changing. Seeing the system, what's around you, not just you, understanding the social layer, no man is an island, reframing the problem to see many possible paths and solutions. It's kind of like when you stand on the top of the mountain or a small hill, you see all of these different paths that you can take to get you down there. So flexible framing is kind of like that, and then co-designing, co-owning the solution. Again, and again, back to this idea no man is an island. So if you want to create change, it's probably engaged involves other people, including yourself. So work with people, with yourself, with others, not on them. So, guys, question to you Have you thought about any of this in your own life? How it shapes your thinking, your decision making, your actions? And thinking of those four forces, seeing the system, understanding the social layer, reframing the problem to see many solutions, co-designing, co-owning. Which one feels closest to home right now? Which one feels like you might want to look into changing it so then that invisible force because something you play with, not battle against. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you for listening. I hope you found this podcast useful and you'll implement at least one thing right now, today's step and think where can I use this? Where can I shape, where can I change this four invisible forces, one of them. So that force helps me to create the change in myself, in others, in the world that I want to create. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening, and till next time, keep growing.