PSA: This Doctor May Have Saved My Life!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, I am Joshua P. Warren, and this is a PSA, a public service announcement about the doctor who may have saved my life. And when I was a kid, I did not think I would grow up and champion asshole health, but this is a colonoscopy story. And I am forty six years old, and what I'm about to tell you might save some lives. Last okay, so this is 2023, right? So last year in 2022, uh my doctor said, Well, uh, it's time for you to have a colonoscopy, because uh they used to do colonoscopy starting when you when you were uh 50 years old, but now they they've dropped it down to like 45. And uh he said, you know, if you don't want to have uh this big thing shoved up your ass, then uh we have this thing called a colo guard where you just you know shit in a bucket and mail it in, and they can take a look at your shit, and they can tell you whether or not there's a problem. And uh so I said, okay, I'll do that. And uh last year I did a uh kind of you know a funny podcast about that process. Well, here's the follow-up. So uh I shit in a bucket, and my doctor called me and he said, uh your sample came back positive. And he said, that doesn't mean that you have colon cancer. Uh and there are all kinds of false positives that happen all the time, but uh this means that you know there there's something there that is questionable, and so you you have to go in and do a full-blown colonoscopy, which is a surgery, uh they call it a surgery, you know. You you you go in and uh they put you to sleep and you know they shove a big old camera in your ass. And if there's a problem, then you know they they cut things out and all that. So I was like, oh great, I just paid for this, you know, color guard, and uh now I gotta pay for this colonoscopy. And I'll I'll just be honest with you, man. Preparing for that colonoscopy, oh, it was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. You take all of these uh laxatives for a couple days, and oh my god. You know, you can't eat, of course, and you it just I'll I'll save uh I'll I will spare you the details. Okay, but you you I don't know about everybody else, but for me, I felt horrible. This is like one of the worst things I've ever had to go through. So anyway, I went in there, they brought me into the uh surgery room. The best part was I got the propofil or propofol or whatever, you know, the stuff that Michael Jackson used to take. And uh boom, I'm out. And then when I woke up, the doctor was there and he said, uh, we found a uh a polyp in there. But he said, I he said, I don't think it was cancerous, and we took it out, and you know, everything is gonna be okay. All right, fine. So everything seemed okay. Uh a few days later, you know, I did I did have some issues. I won't get into all that, but so today I went to the doctor to get my follow-up, and uh the two doctors came in, which that was interesting, and so uh they said uh your polyp that we took off was a big one, and it was pre-cancerous, and if we had not taken that polyp off, then within a couple of years, pretty much by the time I'm 48, uh, that could have been cancerous, and you would have had colon cancer, and you do not want to get colon cancer. And I and I thought to myself, my god, you know, they they they used to only start doing screenings at 50. And you know, my primary doctor said, if we had only done this when you were 50, it's pretty, you know, you you would probably have colon cancer. And they told me that uh Chadwick Bozeman, and I I and I knew this already, actually, but i i th this is something that you should think about. Okay, I was born in Asheville, North Carolina, and less than two hours down the road from me is Anderson, South Carolina. And that's where Chadwick Bozeman was born. And Chadwick Bozeman was born the month after I was. And Chadwick Bozeman, you know, he's famous for a lot of great roles, but he's probably most famous for playing the Black Panther. And Chadwick Bozeman was diagnosed with colon cancer in his 30s, and he died when he was 43. So this guy who and I mean, like I guess this is sort of like just inconsequential in terms of the big picture, but it just hits home when you know you have this guy who's a healthy, just athletic, charismatic superpower guy, you know, liter, literally, you know, a guy who can play a superhuman, you know, the guy who played the Black Panther, who was born a month after me. He was born, I was born October 25th of 1976. He was born the next month, November 29th of 1976. He was diagnosed with colon cancer in his 30s, my doctors told me. And he died when he was forty-three years old. At the height of well, his life, I guess. I mean. And here I am, 46. And I got this like cold chill, you know, this this shudder that ran through me. Because you have to understand something. I do not fear death. And I can say that now, because you know, I'm alive. But on the other hand, I do believe that, you know, when the moment comes, when I when I'm about to, you know, die if I if I'm cognizant, maybe I'll get scared then because I'm just like, I think it'll be more sadness than scared because I'm just like, oh, I'm not gonna see you anymore. You know, and when when you're about to die, I you probably are scared, but I I don't really fear it because I just know there's no point in it because we're all gonna have to die. That's my logical brain speaking, but but again, uh, you know, I don't know what it's gonna be like. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I'm not gonna be afraid when I die, you know, that that'd be fucking stupid. But what I can tell you is I do not want to die of colon cancer because that just oh I you know, I I I I I don't want to go into descriptions, but you can imagine like the just the the agony and and the inconvenience that's the that's actually a flippant word. Like, just like the fucking bullshit that you would have to go through for for your guts. Like what keeps what keeps you alive is food you know flowing through your body and and and and to have to deal with a problem with with that process man. So I I I'm kind of I'm kind of dazed right now, to be honest with you, because when they told me that at my age, 46, uh I had this thing in my gut that was on the way to becoming cancerous, and that they used to not even test for it uh until you were fifty. I thought to myself, well man, uh if I'd waited till I was fifty, then I would have been in in an agony, and uh it almost it also made me like think about well back in the day, you know, before we had medical technology, what people were going through, um and and how amazing it was that people, you know, in the 1800s, early 1900s, you know, like like how that they uh live so long without medical technology. And I said to one of the doctors, uh, I said, So are people uh getting colon cancer younger and younger? And he goes, Yeah, he says, you know, uh we we've reduced it to 45, pretty soon it'll be forty, and he goes, We and it might even go into the 30 soon. And I said, Well, why is that? And he said, I think it has to do with how we eat processed foods in this country. That's what he said. Now I am not a health expert at all, and I will never pretend that I am a health expert. Uh but he said he he he said that that processed foods may may have something to do with it, that we we just eat too much of that shit, and and there are chemicals that who knows? There's a million variables. So look, he and you know, he also talked about genetics. That you know, genetics plays a role in everything, so I guess sometimes it's it's just the luck of a draw. But I had this experience uh today, and uh it kind of made me you know think about how lucky I am because that I know I have to die somehow, but I know I don't want to die that way. And these doctors, when they said to me, you know, you have to have this test, and it cost X amount of dollars, it's like because you know I didn't have insurance, and they said, it cost X amount, and then they said, Oh, it came back positive, but it might be a false positive one, and but now you have this other thing that you have to pay for, like and I and the whole time I'm thinking like this is probably just gonna turn out to be fine, and I'm just spending shitloads of money here. But you know what? It turned out that it wasn't fine, and my uh primary physician, uh physician uh who said you need to do this, and and and the people who built the test that said there's a problem, and then you know, the doctor who did the colonoscopy and and took the polyp out and they saved my life, possibly. I mean, and and and if they didn't save my life, well, then uh uh they probably saved me from some kind of uh terrible situation down the road. So I guess I'm just telling you this because you know, it doesn't cost me anything right now uh to sit here as I'm doing in my studio here at uh 217 a.m. on a Monday night, actually it's Tuesday morning, and and tell you this. But I feel like that if there's one person out there who who can be helped by this, um you may or may not know this. Okay. Supposedly, and I'm looking this up right now. Supposedly, colon cancer is the uh the third leading cause of cancer for both men and women. And it's the second most common cause of cancer deaths when men and women are combined. So think about that. Uh the second most common cause of cancer deaths when men and women are combined and it's highly preventable. If you catch it early, uh then they go in and you know they cut it out. But if you don't catch it early, that's a terrible way to die. And, you know, I'm not here to be the bearer of you know bad news, but I would feel kind of shitty if I had this experience and I felt like that my life was saved at least from a possible terrible end. And I didn't at least, you know, sit down here in my studio and tell you this. So look, uh, if you're, you know, I again I'm not a doctor, so don't listen to me, but you know, if you're in your 40s, at least for the love of God, do what you have to do uh to get checked out because uh things are becoming more and more risky, I guess, with you know processed foods and uh who knows. But uh I am sitting here right now and I am thanking my lucky stars, and I'm seeing this alternate you know path that my life could have gone down, which would have been a path of fucking just misery, yeah, that I was saved from by these doctors. So uh what what what what the hell is money worth, right? I mean, think about that. What is money worth when it comes to your body? Find a way, you know, finance the shit, just do whatever you have to, but um, there is my public service announcement. All right, my friends. I'm Joshua P. Warren. My website is joshua parren.com. Thank you for listening, thank you for your interest and support, and uh thank you for staying curious. I will talk to you again soon.