How He Won $581,000 with a Wishing Machine!

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Transcript

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Hello, I am Joshua P. Warren, and this is a true raw, authentic recording to prove that I'm about to say a bad word. So if you have children around or you have older folks who might be more sensitive, this is your opportunity to stop listening or take whatever measures that you deem necessary. I'm going to give you a countdown five, four, three, two, one. Fuck. Alright, so now that we have cleared that barrier, it is true, it is true that a man in Georgia contacted me and he won, listen to this, five hundred and five hundred and eighty-one thousand dollars using one of our wishing machines. And I'm talking about myself and Dr. Mulder. Uh this is not just a big commercial, however, because uh after I tell you about this, I'm going to read a poem to you. This is something that I wrote a long time ago. It's a poem called The Lonely Amoeba. So there's actual artistic value to this recording. So I hope that you stick around for that and enjoy it. I haven't read this in years. The man's name is uh I mean, I've got all of his information. His name is David. Again, he's in Georgia here in the USA. He said, I just wanted to give you my personal experience using your wishing machine. I had a lot of debt and was really feeling overwhelmed. I was pretty close to the point where I could not make the minimum payments that were needed, and I was starting to consider bankruptcy. I decided to purchase one of your wishing machines. Let me pause for a second. Think about that. Think about the the amount of faith it takes when you're in that situation to say, you know, I'm I'm I'm I'm uh it's sink or swim here. I'm sinking, but let me spend money on this ridiculous uh device that obviously looks like some kind of a scam. But he did it. And uh he said, let's see, when I got your machine, I wish for all my debts to be paid. Well, this week I won the Georgia Fantasy V jackpot. The prize was five hundred and eighty-one thousand dollars. I was the sole winner. And after taxes, I'm going to get a wire transfer for around four hundred thousand dollars. Needless to say, this money will pay off all my debts, including my house. It will buy me and my wife much needed new cars and allow me to have some kind of savings. All I can say is thank you. You can feel free to print my story, but please withhold all of my contact information. And I said, Well, how did you how exactly did you set up the machine? Like what was your process? Because he was using a traditional wishing machine. He said, I put expired credit cards on the plate to represent my desire, and I wish for all my debts to be paid. It took about three months for my wish to manifest. Now, you know, I would David, congratulations, and thank you for sharing that story. He didn't have to tell me. Uh I would have never never known. Um, but you you know, here's here's the thing. When somebody like David does this, um, you know, he planned for it, he set it up in a particular way. Again, it took him three months. And right now, Dr. Mulder and I have the Tepa phone out, which is the easiest wishing machine ever created. The I'm I'm on, I'm, you know, I'm on my computer right now. It's been a uh busy week. Yeah, the Tepiphone. If you go to Wishing Machine Project.com, you'll see all the stuff that we have. Or just go to the Tepiphone T-E-P-A-P-H-O-N-E. The Tepiphone. And it's that one. If you are just like, I don't understand any of this wishing machine stuff, go to thetepiphone.com or click the link at uh uh wishing machineproject.com and you'll see the tepaphone prices go up and down, but right now it's one hundred and sixty-nine dollars. The simplest wishing machine ever made by Dr. Mulder. It's beautiful. I use it all the time. I've been talking about it. And you know, again, this is not meant to be like a big commercial, but I just want to let you know that um if you're struggling right now to pay your bills or or you're struggling with other issues, uh look, there's there's a 100% money back guarantee on this thing. The TEPA phone. And if you have questions about like, well, what could this do for me? Go to this website, wishingfaq.com. You know, just like frequently asked questions, wishingfaq.com. And you're gonna see videos there, you're gonna have, I mean, like, so many questions answered in in in addition to links to movies, hours and hours of movies and instructional stuff that that applies to the the general concept of using the types of machines that Dr. Mulder and I produce, whether it's the classic wishing machine or it's the new uh Tepophone, um, and you know, similar manifestation devices. Like you might be saying, well, well, what's the difference between all this stuff, or what's the process, or can I use this over and over forever? Can two people use it? Can I wish for money? Can I use this to gamble? Can I use it to find a romantic partner? How do I wish for something intangible? And look, I live in Las Vegas, so I use these machines all the time for for gambling, and that that's why, you know, when David here says I won $581,000 on the Georgia lottery, I mean that's pretty impressive. But I don't I don't recommend that you you just go out there and use them for gambling per se. Uh because that um I I think that you're better off if you just use them to try to manifest what you want instead of focusing on a particular amount of money. So anyway, there you go. Um wishing machineproject.com or you can go to the Tepiphone T E P A P H O N E the Tepiphone.com I told you that I was going to share a poem with you. When I was a teenager, I was experimenting with various forms of writing. I've now published a couple novels, and uh I was always a big fan of Dr. Seuss, and so I wanted to do a Dr. Seuss kind of inspired book, and so I wrote a book when I was a teenager called The Lonely Amoeba. And most people spell uh Amoeba A M O E B A. But I I decided to go with the other accepted spelling, which is just AMEBA. Just because, you know, it's simpler. I mean, i if you can spell a word in English A M E B A or A M O E B A, why not just spell it without the O that's silent and unnecessary? So I wrote this book and um when I was in high school, my friend Tim Peterson was um one of my best friends. And last year, at the age of forty-seven, he died from many years of alcoholism. Um just drinking enormous amounts of liquor. So if any of you are listening and you're interested in how that drinking that much liquor affects you, I'm just telling you that, you know, that's what happens. You can be 47, you can They just found him, as far as I know, they just found him dead. Alright, here's the book that he illustrated. He did a beautiful, beautiful job. The Lonely Amoeba Here's what it says on the back of the book Beyond all the fish and mosquitoes and all was a world so incredibly wonderfully small. Yes, a world so incredibly wonderfully small that your eyes couldn't see it not see it at all. This is the story of Emo, a lonely amoeba, a creature too tiny to be seen, yet whose soul longs for companionship. The epic tale of one amoeba's quest to find a friend. Emo embarks on an unforgettable adventure that takes him all the way from a murky array of dazzling characters such as Jean a Eugena and Larry the hairy paramecian. Um in the end, Emo learns a very special lesson about friendship and most importantly believing in yourself. Young people were uh young people will learn about biology in a fun and relative way as they follow along on Emo's journey. The rhyming verse and captivating illustrations make for a classic tale that readers will cherish for years to come. This was published in 1997. Very nice. I have the really nice hard copy, uh hardback copy in my hands for twelve dollars and ninety-five cents. There's no way this book would cost twelve dollars and ninety-five cents. This was published nineteen ninety-seven. I actually bought this copy, believe it or not, off of eBay. Are you ready? Here we go. I'm gonna read this to you. The Lonely Amoeba, written by Joshua P. Warren and illustrated by Tim Peterson, and published by the Over Mountain Press in Johnson City, Tennessee again nineteen ninety seven. By the edge of a hill at the woods just beyond in the weeds and the algae there stood a small pond. Now it seemed nothing special, quite simple and plain just a dark, murky pool filled up mainly by rain. Just to glance at the thing one would see not a being, but wait not too soon now. Be sure what you're seeing. To see all the odd things to which I refer, one must look a bit closer closer and closer Beyond all the tadpoles, beyond all the frogs, beyond the mud puppies beneath rocks and logs, beyond all the fish and mosquitoes and all was a world so incredibly wonderfully small Yes, a world so incredibly wonderfully small that your eyes couldn't see it not see it at all. Now it may have been small this world down below. Yes, it may have been little just tiny, although the creatures down there were a great jamboree of colours and sizes and shapes one would see. There were micro fine wigglers as small as thin threads. There were luminous squigglers with lights on their heads, there were purple pond bogglers that wore bright pink vests. There were even some fellows with big hairy chests and amongst all the fellows with heads all aglow, amongst all the swimmers, the fast, the slow, amongst all the creatures no science books show there lived an amoeba. His name was Emo. An amoeba, in case that you didn't quite know, looks a lot like a blob of some transparent dough. His shape is the shape of quite no shape at all. He can be fat or thin. He can be short or tall. Now this little fellow was not quite the same as the other amoebas from where Emo came, though Emo tried hard he could not quite swim as fast as the others who all picked on him. Although Emo struggled with all of his might the others whizzed by him way back in spite. So Emo was as sad as an amoeba can be, and he sat all alone spilling tears in his sea. He cried and he cried until almost no end for Emo just wanted to have his own friend. Now the creatures that lived within Emo's small pond mostly cap mostly kept to themselves without forming a bond. To the right of the pond all amoebas would stay. To the left of the pond all the other things played. Well Emo was desperate. His sadness must end. He would go to the left side to find him a friend, so Emo looked out to the wondrous beyond, then set on his journey to cross the great pond. He swam through the weeds that grew in the shade. He struggled through currents the slightest breeze made. He passed amongst pebbles, great mountains to him. For his goal as he swam was to swim, swim, swim, swim, and as through the waters the little guy sped, he never looked back but just swam straight ahead. And after he swam what to him seemed a mile, he stopped in the shade just to rest for a while. And as Emo sat there, his thoughts flowing free, he heard a strange voice and it said Excuse me. And he turned right around and before he could think a green grinning fellow then gave him a wink. I'm Jean, a Uglina. He extended a hand, then he flashed him a smile. How are you, my good man? Oh I'm doing just fine, Emo said with a grin. I'm just crossing this pond here to find me a friend. Oh good luck then, fine fellow. I hope you succeed and perhaps you can give me directions I need. You see, Jean then said, with a voice quite polite, I've been looking all over to find some sunlight. Well I saw some sunlight just right over there. Ema pointed a finger with mannerly care. Well thank you so much, sir. You're you're a kind hearted dude, and the sunlight Jean said, My buddy makes food. Ema watched intensely with eyes wide and bright as Jean the Eugena got in the sunlight. A few seconds after old Jean had stood there a dozen green hands had popped out everywhere. One held a hamburger, one held a fish, there were hot dogs and pizza, and one gourmet dish. Then Jean the Euglina began to chow down and Emo Amiba looked on with a frown. Well I'd best be going, old Emo said then, and good luck called back Jean. I hope you find a friend. It seemed to Ole Emo it took several days to swim through the waters which made a great maze. He wandered through caves in the side of a pebble. He explored algae jungles, that brave little rebel. He found beautiful sights on a small hidden trail, and he once hitched a ride on a tadpoles. Long tail. And when finally he got to the pond's other side he looked all around at the folks far and wide. A zillion new creatures. It seemed there no end. Now surely to goodness he'd find his own friend. He went to a group of some red headed Sebas. Hello, Emo said, My name's Emo Amoeba. I just wanted to say I was lonely today and was wondering if I could come with you and play. But those red headed Sebas just laughed like some snobs. Sorry, they said, We don't play with you blobs. Then they all swam away. And they left him behind. After breaking his heart with their words so unkind. Emo looked for a friend for the rest of the day, but again and again they turned Emo away. And when nighttime crept in and the darkness so deep Emo cried all alone that he drifted to sleep. When Emo woke up he was head over hills, he heard waves, and some sloshing, and loud screaming, squeals, for his whole watery world had been turned upside down, and he looked down to see he was leaving the ground. What was this all about? Emo hadn't a clue, and the others were just as confused as he too. They couldn't have known that above their small world. Above all the motion, above all the swirls, above where the fish and the mud puppies are, a small boy stood. And he held a small jar. Although the small boy saw only green water inside, he'd scooped up a world much more great much more wide. But the world in the jar was so utterly small that the boy could not see it or Emo at all. He carried the jar far from Emo's small pool to a place on the hill you and I would call school. To his class, to his teacher, the small boy then sped. Here's the water you wanted, Miss Marshall, he said. Look here, said the teacher, and the whole class then eyed as she held up the jar. You see nothing inside. Then she set down the jar, careful not to get wet, and she took out a dropper she called a pipette. And she sucked up a drop for the wandering class and she dropped it back out on a little square glass. This little square glass is what we call a slide, she said to the class as their eyes opened wide. Then she reached on a shelf up beside some white mice, and she lifted back down an unusual device. What is that? asked girl, wearing polka dot clothes. It's a phone, cried a boy, with a finger near his nose. No no no yelled another. It looks like a toy. An outer space gun? said another small boy. You're all wrong, said the teacher, while shaking her head. It's much more than a phone or a toy. She then said, It's a microscope, huh? They all looked so surprised, and we used it for seeing what's too small for our eyes. Then she picked up the slide and she slid it right in under two shiny clips right below a long lens, and the children rushed up and all gathered around and then lifting an eye to the lens. One peered down. And what should he see when he looked down in there? It was Emo Amoeba all shivering. All scared. What's that? asked the kid. To his teacher beside, and Miss Marshall looked down and then quickly replied, Well that's an amoeba you see the middle. An interesting creature. So tiny, so little. And then one after one all the students came by and they looked down the lens at that small frightened guy. Then they took out the slide when they finally were done and they put back the droplet from where it had come. And the teacher taught on till the school bell then rang. And the school books were shut and the children all sprang and in just a short while there was no one around, and the darkness crept in as the sunshine crept down, and the only thing left was the jar on the shelves, and the creatures inside were left all by themselves. And even though Emo had not been the only, he sat by himself so frightened so lonely. Emo cried in the darkness and algae beyond, for he wanted back home and the weeds and the pond. As he fluffed up a cushion of algae, he wept. Then he laid down his head and then softly he slept. He dreamed as he slept about finding a friend he could laugh with and play with and joyfully swim. With the help of his dream in this lonely, strange place, a small smile arose on his lonely dark face. In the midst of the dark, in the midst of the night, he most suddenly awoke to a strange glowing light. He heard something coming through plants just near him, a whole bunch of something. He heard them all swim. Then they came through the weeds. What a terrible sight. They were hydras, yes, hydras, his soul filled with fright, for they were the biggest and meanest around. They would sting you, then grab you, then gulp you right down. And wouldn't you know it? Amongst all the small, it was Ala Amiba they liked most of all. And when one saw Emo he stopped with two flips, then grabbed the gang's leader and licked his big lips. Look what I found, boss. He held one hydra back. Looks like I found me a nice little snack. Be quiet, you moron, boss said with a sneer. This amoeba is mine. He's the only one here. But I saw him first, boss. Please let me attack. Said the other gang member, I need a good snack. What did you say? I wanted a snack? Well here's one, boss said, then he gave him a smack. Now leave me alone, 'cause I'm going in. Go and get me some dinner tonight, gentlemen. Then Emo just screamed with all of his might as the hydra came in to take his first bite. But just as his life flashed before his small eyes, as it usually does before some creature dies, a miracle happened, I guess you could say. It sprang from the algae to block Boss's way. He was long, he was lean, and his muscles were blue. He was covered in hair, and he wore a tattoo. His eyes and his face looked quite squenty and old, but the fist he held up looked surprisingly bold. And the Big Hydra stopped in his tracks then and there, and perhaps though I doubt it, he gave him a scare. Why don't you kids scram? the old fellow then cried, for I gives you a lickin' and ten your big hide. I don't know who you are, the big boss then cried, but you're asking for trouble, old man. Move aside. I ain't going nowhere. He slapped his blue knee. And if you don't, I'll give you the old one two three. Then the boss shook his head. So you want to fight me? Oh no, he then said. You can fight old Chow Li. And then with a spin from the back of the group, a hydra jumped out and came down with a swoop. He had a headband tied around his big head. I know karate, the hydra then said, and he swung all his arms like a kung fu hotshot. But then when he stopped they were tied in a knot. Then he smiled a slight bit, and his face turned bright red and he shrugged his six shoulders. Excuse me, he said. But before he could leave, the old blue fella got him, bent him right over, and paddled his bottom. And then all the hydras took off like a shot. You thought you were tough, cried the old guy. You're not. Why thank you so much, sir, Small Emo then said. Without all your help, Dell, I might have been dead. And since you jumped out quite so quick to defend, does that mean you're now going to be my best friend? No. I didn't do it because I'm your friend. I did it, he said, 'cause I didn't like him. I'm Emo Amoeba, Emo stuck out his hand. I just wanted a friend in this watery land. I'm Larry the hairy paramecium's son, but your search for a friend here has only begun. Why? Then asked Emo. I don't understand. Why can't I find me a friend of this land? Cause amoebas attract all the hydras around and they know they'll get stung and they'll all get gulped down, and they're going to be back before it's too long, so go run and hide while you're still alive and strong. Now Ema was sad as a tear rolled away. He never would find him a friend in this way. He'd had all the sadness he thought he could stand and he sat on a leaf with his head in his hand. Did you hear what I said? Larry shouted. Don't sit. They'll be back here soon. You should hurry and split Split It was then for the first in a very long time that a smile had appeared on that small ball of slime. He heard a small voice in the back of his head, and he listened so closely to what his head said. He remembered now something he'd heard of before. Then he stopped for a moment and listened some more. And the voice in his head, well it grew and it grew. And then he knew of something Amoebas can do. Now it may have been silly, yes a silly old quirk, but it might but it may. Yes, it really could work, and he got a strange feeling, strange feeling inside. Then he shook his head hard, shook it hard side to side, and a buzz in his ears got so loud that it rang and he pulled and he pulled and he pulled and then bang. He wasn't quite sure what had caused these strange sounds, but he felt for some reason he'd lost a few pounds. And it wasn't until he had turned back around that he knew what had happened he knew what he'd found. When his eyes fell upon it he was so amazed. Another Amoeba was there, somewhat dazed. What's your name? asked Emo. I don't really know, said the other Amoeba. Its speech was quite slow. I'm Emo, said Emo. He nodded his head. Well then my name is Remo, the other one said. And then came the question much more than a name. He knew it was coming and finally it came. Emo opened his mouth with a strange little bend and then finally he said it will you be my friend? And Remo just smiled. Not a word then she said, but she smiled a big smile and she nodded her head, and Emo's small eyes lit up then so bright that they blended right in with the morning sunlight. Then it welled up inside him so big you can see that it burst out excited a whopping yippee He swam and he swam an unusual span. He swam ten times faster than most creatures can. He swam through the jar through the through the jar far and wide and he whizzed past the hydras and blew them aside. He zoomed by a fellow who had three whole heads. I have a friend now he screamed as he sped. His tiresome journey had come to an end. For Emo Amiba had found his own friend. And the very next day the small boy came back in, and he emptied the jar in the pond once again. And Emo and Remo swam straight to the side where the other amoebas all stay with much pride, till they built them a house out of algae and sand on a nice little stone on a nice piece of land. And there they both stay to this very same day, or at least in the water, that's what they all say. And once in a while Emo splits up again, as Amoibas all do to make a new friend. Because Emo Amoeba had looked all around. He'd looked far and wide. He'd looked up and down. He looked everywhere in this world so dense, but then in the end it all finally made sense for Emo Amiba found out in the end that within your own self you might find your best friend. Well shockingly powerful. I I I I'm trembling right now. Um all right, so that was let's see. I wrote that again when I was a teenager. Uh and it finally got published in 1997. So um I was I probably wrote it in like ninety three or ninety-four. I'm 40. Okay, so I'm recording this uh in June of 2025, and I'm 48, I think. Um so yeah, I wrote that, and then uh Tim Peterson illustrated it, and the Over Mountain Press published it beautifully, and um yeah, it just really didn't take off. Um but that's kind of what happens with most books, but it's still out there. Yeah, I didn't realize it was that long. Good lord. All right, my friends. Um I hope you enjoyed uh me reading the lonely amoeba, written by Joshua P. Warren and illustrated by Timothy Peterson. And um let's get back to the original point of this podcast. Um well, recording. I do a free podcast, and um if you go to strangethingshow.com, strangethingshow.com, you'll find hundreds of these free podcasts that you can listen to that uh I do for iHeart. But uh in the meantime, if you are interested in any of the manifestation stuff, if you want to try to see if you can hit the $581,000 lotto, just cut me in on it, okay? Um but people look, people win stuff every day. Go to wishingfaq.com, W-I-S-H-I-N-G-F-A-Q.com. Go to wishingfaq.com and um or joshuapwarren.com and you know I can give you all kinds of addresses, but just you know, look me up. And um if you have any doubt that this is an uncensored uh podcast, uh here we go again, uh 54321. Fuck. And having said that, uh, I am tired. So thank you for listening. Thank you for your interest and support. Thank you for staying curious. Go to StrangethingsShow.com and listen to my program. And I will talk to you again soon.