Speaker 1: Galatians, chapter 6.
Speaker 1: How many of you guys have ever been to the South before, ever been in the South before?
Speaker 1: Okay, so many of you guys.
Speaker 1: All my family.
Speaker 1: They grew up on the East Coast, they were in the East Coast and my mom's family they were in the South.
Speaker 1: Now, if you've been to the South, you know the South is very different than Solano County.
Speaker 1: I mean, for one, everybody talks weird out there For some reason.
Speaker 1: For some reason they think that we talk weird.
Speaker 1: I mean, go figure, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean they got, they got Waffle House out there, they got Shoney's out there.
Speaker 1: You know, when they say, when they say barbecue, like we're going to a barbecue place, it's a whole different definition than how we define that.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm telling you what they got all these meats and all.
Speaker 1: I mean all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 1: It's crazy and I'd go out there and and one of the things that was really different for me at least where my grandparents lived in the country, is nobody had any fences in their backyards and as an eight-year-old kid I was like what happens when your dogs run away?
Speaker 1: And they would say, ah, they always come back.
Speaker 1: What if they don't?
Speaker 1: You know, growing up in the suburbs, you had backyards with fences around them and there is this clear boundary of their yard, my yard, right their front yard, my front yard.
Speaker 1: They were responsible to mow their yard, we were responsible to mow our yard.
Speaker 1: Take that back.
Speaker 1: I was responsible to mow our yard as a kid and it was very clear what the boundaries were.
Speaker 1: We understand that when it comes to property, but in other places in our lives sometimes it's hard to know where boundaries are or where to set boundaries.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, especially when it comes to people.
Speaker 1: Especially when it comes to people, because we care about people, we love people.
Speaker 1: Thankfully, scripture actually speaks into this and we're going to be in a place in Galatians 6 that's going to be incredibly refreshing to so many of us, because this is what you're going to see today, right from Scripture when and how do we set boundaries with people?
Speaker 1: And even if you don't need this message right now, I promise you're going to need this message at some point in your life.
Speaker 1: Now this begs the question talking about boundaries, how can we articulate what a boundary is?
Speaker 1: Here's what a boundary is.
Speaker 1: A boundary is a line you set between your responsibility and their responsibility, between your responsibility with some things and their responsibility with things.
Speaker 1: Now here's what's so hard about setting boundaries with people is, at times, setting boundaries feels like we're being unloving.
Speaker 1: Setting boundaries feels like we're being unloving, especially when the person we're trying to set boundaries with, either directly or indirectly, says things like well, if you love me, then you would, or if you cared about me, then you would.
Speaker 1: And they say things like you're being unloving or you're not being Christianly, and we get guilted or we get pressured.
Speaker 1: We feel like we should do more and, before we know it, when we don't have clear boundaries, our lives get a little off kilter.
Speaker 1: Or our lives get a little out of whack.
Speaker 1: A little off kilter, or our lives get a little out of whack.
Speaker 1: You may have felt this before.
Speaker 1: You may be there right now.
Speaker 1: So what do we do?
Speaker 1: Well, as Jesus followers, we go to scripture to find answers, to get wisdom for these things, and I honestly I don't say this all the time, but I really say this today I cannot implore you enough to lean in to God's word this morning, because what we're going to see in God's word is going to save you a lot of energy, a lot of pain, a lot of unnecessary guilt and, frankly, probably a lot of money that you'd spend in a counselor's office where they would talk to you about setting boundaries, when we're going to see it in scripture today.
Speaker 1: So we're going to pick it up in Galatians, chapter 6, verse number 1.
Speaker 1: And if you're ready for the word, would you say amen.
Speaker 1: That's what he says.
Speaker 1: He says brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, this means if somebody has sinned, if somebody has broken God's law.
Speaker 1: By the way, let's just kind of get on the same playing field real quick.
Speaker 1: How many of you have ever sinned before?
Speaker 1: Go and raise up your hand.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1: Did anybody not raise their hand?
Speaker 1: All right, we've all sinned, we've all broken God's law.
Speaker 1: If anybody's overtaken by a wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, all that means is those of us that are depending on the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1: Living our lives led by the Spirit doesn't mean somebody that's like self-righteous and I'm—no no, it's not that I'm living my life depending on the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1: I am to restore a person.
Speaker 1: So when a person sins, if they have a repentant spirit and they come to us, we are to restore them, watching out for yourselves so that you won't be tempted.
Speaker 1: If somebody has a repentant spirit hey, I did wrong, I messed up we are to receive that person back, and what we're to do for all of us.
Speaker 1: Verse number two is we're to carry one another's burdens.
Speaker 1: That way, you fulfill the law of Christ.
Speaker 1: Now, what's a burden?
Speaker 1: A burden is something of excess of Christ.
Speaker 1: Now, what's a burden?
Speaker 1: A burden is something of excess.
Speaker 1: A burden is something that's too big for one person to carry alone.
Speaker 1: Burden might be a season of grief and suffering that's just an excess.
Speaker 1: It might be a season of temptation and anxiety that's in excess.
Speaker 1: It might be a job loss that's in excess.
Speaker 1: It could be a whole host of things that's just too big for one person to carry alone.
Speaker 1: And the verse says that when we carry each other's burdens, that we fulfill the law of Christ, which is to love God and to love others.
Speaker 1: So something that's very foundational and important to know when we have this conversation about boundaries is number one we are called to carry other people's burdens.
Speaker 1: We are called to carry each other's burdens.
Speaker 1: When life gets too heavy and things get too hard and people are carrying this load that they just can't carry on their own that, you and me, we're called to carry each other's burdens.
Speaker 1: If we refuse to carry each other's burdens, verse 3 says something about us.
Speaker 1: It says If anybody considers himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
Speaker 1: You ever met somebody that thought they were something when they weren't?
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought you were something when you weren't?
Speaker 1: Hey, here's the deal.
Speaker 1: If we think that we're too important to help carry somebody else's burdens, no, I don't have time for you.
Speaker 1: No, I'm too busy.
Speaker 1: No, I'm too this.
Speaker 1: No, I'm too that.
Speaker 1: We would be what my mom says a little too big for your britches, that we are to think of ourselves as more important than somebody else.
Speaker 1: Paul says walk in humility.
Speaker 1: And then he introduces something that's really important when it comes to this.
Speaker 1: He introduces something, this idea, this truth of personal responsibility.
Speaker 1: Personal responsibility in verse 4.
Speaker 1: That we all are to have personal responsibility.
Speaker 1: This is what he says.
Speaker 1: He says let each person, you know who each person is.
Speaker 1: That is each person.
Speaker 1: It's me, it's you, all of us.
Speaker 1: We're to examine our own work.
Speaker 1: And then he take pride in himself alone and not compare himself with someone else.
Speaker 1: You ever compared yourself with somebody?
Speaker 1: Isn't it hard not to in this social media saturated world.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so easy to compare where you live to where they live, to their job, to your job, to what they drive, to compare to what you drive to where they go on vacation, to where you're like all I'm going to do is a staycation this year.
Speaker 1: You know to what they look like.
Speaker 1: It's just so easy to compare ourselves, paul says.
Speaker 1: But everybody should take pride in himself alone.
Speaker 1: Pride I thought pride was bad.
Speaker 1: This pride here is not saying I'm better than you or self-focused, this is what it is.
Speaker 1: It's me saying I look at my life and my responsibilities and the things that I'm called to carry and I take pride in the fact that I'm fulfilling my role.
Speaker 1: Now here's what's easy for me to do, and probably easy for you to do.
Speaker 1: It's for me to pick up the binoculars and for me to look at everybody else and look at their shortcomings.
Speaker 1: Oh, you messed up there.
Speaker 1: Oh, you have a shortcoming there.
Speaker 1: They're not a very good parent there.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't believe they.
Speaker 1: This is normal.
Speaker 1: This is what Paul says.
Speaker 1: Put the binoculars down.
Speaker 1: Oh, pick up a mirror and look at yourself and look at your responsibilities and ask yourself am I carrying my load?
Speaker 1: And look at the fruits of my life and say are the fruits of my life what they should be?
Speaker 1: And the reason I should look at my own life is because I need to make sure what the next verse says is actually happening.
Speaker 1: It says let each person carry his own load.
Speaker 1: Now, depending on the translation that you have a lot of translations it uses the word carry his own burden.
Speaker 1: So verse two it says we're to carry each other, we're to bear one another's burden, and then verse five says we're to carry our own burden.
Speaker 1: It's a contradiction.
Speaker 1: The YouTube TikToker was right.
Speaker 1: The Bible's filled with contradictions.
Speaker 1: Pastor Nate, you just pointed out, I just saw it.
Speaker 1: I don't believe any of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, time out, hold on, let's look at where these words come from.
Speaker 1: Okay, verse two the word burden comes from the word Greek word baros.
Speaker 1: The New Testament was written in Greek, so that's how we translate it.
Speaker 1: That word means something of excess.
Speaker 1: In verse five, the word load or burden comes from the word fortune, which means something to be carried.
Speaker 1: So there's a difference.
Speaker 1: There's a distinction between these words.
Speaker 1: Now, this is why I bring this up.
Speaker 1: Oftentimes, a very simple Bible study, like we just did in the last 60 seconds, can bring to surface and bring clarity to some supposed contradictions.
Speaker 1: And God gave you and God gave me a mind to reason and to think and to study.
Speaker 1: And God is not scared of your questions.
Speaker 1: God's not sitting in heaven with his knees knocking saying I hope they don't doubt me.
Speaker 1: I hope God's not worried about that.
Speaker 1: God welcomes your questions and when you study scripture we can see here exactly what it's saying.
Speaker 1: And in the verse, verse five, it says we're to carry our own load.
Speaker 1: So I kind of want to illustrate this so we can kind of get a picture of what does it mean to carry our own load?
Speaker 1: So I brought something with me today.
Speaker 1: I brought a good old fashioned backpack.
Speaker 1: Now I want y'all to notice something about this backpack.
Speaker 1: Come on, y'all already know this is SF.
Speaker 1: This is not LA Mason's a Dodgers fan.
Speaker 1: Let's pray for that guy right now.
Speaker 1: Moment of prayer.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the Giants.
Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about how good the Dodgers are.
Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about where we're at in the standings, we're just.
Speaker 1: We're not going to do that because we're a place of peace.
Speaker 1: We're a unified group of people.
Speaker 1: We are better than me here.
Speaker 1: So I brought this backpack and we are all supposed to carry our own load.
Speaker 1: So we could say we are all called to carry our own backpack.
Speaker 1: Now here's what I mean by that Is there are responsibilities that you have that you are to carry in your backpack of your life.
Speaker 1: So, for example, in the backpack, your load, one of the things in there is your behavior.
Speaker 1: That is your responsibility.
Speaker 1: That's your load.
Speaker 1: That's not my load to carry.
Speaker 1: Your behavior that's you.
Speaker 1: Here's something else the words that come out of our mouth that's your load.
Speaker 1: That's your responsibility.
Speaker 1: Here's something else how we handle our finances, whether we make $100 a week or $10,000 a week, we are responsible for how we handle what God has put in our hand a week.
Speaker 1: We are responsible for how we handle what God has put in our hand.
Speaker 1: Here's something else that's in our load Our emotions and how we express our emotions.
Speaker 1: That is our load.
Speaker 1: And what Paul says here.
Speaker 1: Paul says is every person needs to carry their own load.
Speaker 1: And we could go on and on and on, and I could ask you what is your personal responsibility?
Speaker 1: That you know is your role.
Speaker 1: That's what you are to carry.
Speaker 1: It is in your backpack to brush your teeth.
Speaker 1: That's not my responsibility.
Speaker 1: Parents are looking at their kids like, hey, yeah, this is you.
Speaker 1: Right Now, there's a difference between a burden, a backpack, a load, a backpack and a burden.
Speaker 1: There's a difference between those.
Speaker 1: Right, this is a load.
Speaker 1: There's a difference between that and a burden.
Speaker 1: A burden would be like a boulder.
Speaker 1: In fact, we have a picture up on the screen.
Speaker 1: See that Now that guy looks pretty tough.
Speaker 1: But I don't care how tough that dude is.
Speaker 1: Eventually, eventually, he ain't gonna be.
Speaker 1: He ain't gonna be able to carry that very long.
Speaker 1: He could even be Arnold Schwarzenegger and he can't carry that very long.
Speaker 1: Now, some of y'all are making jokes.
Speaker 1: Some of y'all are like Pastor Nate, that could be you up there.
Speaker 1: You know, whatever, okay, I'm the head of the game.
Speaker 1: I'm the head of the game.
Speaker 1: Okay, it doesn't matter, this is a boulder.
Speaker 1: And if this person doesn't get help with this boulder, you know what's going to happen to him.
Speaker 1: Next picture this is a burden.
Speaker 1: This is not a load, this is not a backpack.
Speaker 1: He needed help, or else he got crushed.
Speaker 1: Now, kind of side note, he needs to tell somebody that he's carrying a burden, because not everybody knows.
Speaker 1: Side note, if other people don't know he's carrying a burden, other people can't help him.
Speaker 1: And we could say this is that a burden is like a boulder, but a load is like a backpack.
Speaker 1: So to be very clear God calls us to help carry other people's burdens, their boulders, but we are responsible to carry our own backpack.
Speaker 1: So number two each person must take personal responsibility for their load, their load.
Speaker 1: And when I choose to carry somebody else's backpack, to carry their load that God has designed them to carry, I am robbing robbing them of the personal responsibility that God has given them to carry their own load.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we think we're helping when we're actually enabling.
Speaker 1: Okay, sometimes I'm helping this person.
Speaker 1: No, because that's their own load, because there's people that we can give and we can give and we can give to, and they keep making bad decisions and saying hurtful things and engaging in unhealthy behavior and we think will they ever get it?
Speaker 1: How much more do I have to do?
Speaker 1: Ever get it?
Speaker 1: How much more do I have to do?
Speaker 1: Probably experienced some people like that.
Speaker 1: You might be kind of wrestling through that right now with somebody and what scripture says?
Speaker 1: Super strong scripture calls these people fools and it says they're acting foolishly.
Speaker 1: In Proverbs, chapter 14, it says A wise person is cautious and turns from evil, but a fool is easily angered and is careless.
Speaker 1: They're just like sure.
Speaker 1: They're careless with their words.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was thinking, so I just said it.
Speaker 1: They were careless with their behavior.
Speaker 1: Well, I just felt like I wanted to do it, so I just did it.
Speaker 1: Careless with their life, not considering things.
Speaker 1: And it says in verse, chapter 23 of Proverbs and Proverbs speaks a lot about this.
Speaker 1: It says don't speak to a fool, for he will.
Speaker 1: Balcony, tell me, balcony, tell me, wake up up there, just kidding, for he will.
Speaker 1: That's right, he'll despise, he'll despise the insight of your words.
Speaker 1: So you go to somebody who's acting foolishly.
Speaker 1: You're like I try to tell them and they won't get it.
Speaker 1: Of course they won't get it.
Speaker 1: That's what Proverbs says.
Speaker 1: In fact, they despise what you're saying anyways.
Speaker 1: Someone that refuses to take personal responsibility, somebody that's constantly blaming other people for their circumstances around them, somebody that refuses to change their behavior to meet the demands of life and instead they expect the world around them to accommodate, to change so they can live how they want to live.
Speaker 1: People that refuse to carry their own backpack, their own load, are acting foolishly.
Speaker 1: And you know what we need to do with those people at that place.
Speaker 1: We need to create a boundary.
Speaker 1: So when do we set it?
Speaker 1: This is where we set it.
Speaker 1: We set a boundary between what is a burden and what is a load.
Speaker 1: This isn't something of excess, dude.
Speaker 1: This is your backpack.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a burden.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm here, I'm going to help you for that, but that I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: Somebody I know and love many years ago had made some choices in their adult life that had caused them to go to a place where they needed to go back home and restart.
Speaker 1: And they had come to a place where they had thankfully, they had hit rock bottom and they had had some significant challenges.
Speaker 1: And over a period of years, some things had happened in this person's life that had some from their choices that had some damaging effects.
Speaker 1: And this person's parents graciously said hey, you can come back Like you can live at home, like we want to be here for you.
Speaker 1: And this person was willing to do that and there were burdens that this person coming back home.
Speaker 1: They were coming home because this person had burdens that they could not carry on their own, like there was no way this person could do it.
Speaker 1: Part of it was from their choices, some of it was not, but nonetheless there were burdens this person could not carry.
Speaker 1: And they came home and mom and dad said okay, their mom and dad said you can come home, but you've got to go to counseling, you have to be clean and sober, you have to get a job.
Speaker 1: Now they didn't expect you to get a full-time job, because this person was not in a place where they could get a full-time job, but you can work like one day a week.
Speaker 1: You have to go to church on Sundays because what you need most is God in your life right now.
Speaker 1: And they set these very clear boundaries.
Speaker 1: There were other burdens this person could not carry and the parents very willingly helped carry their burdens.
Speaker 1: Now that was five years ago.
Speaker 1: Now fast forward five years to today.
Speaker 1: This person is clean and sober.
Speaker 1: This person owns a business, started a business, owns a business that is thriving.
Speaker 1: Needless to say, this person is now out on their own again.
Speaker 1: This person is engaged in their local church.
Speaker 1: This person has met somebody and is going to be getting married very soon.
Speaker 1: This person has never been more hopeful about their future than they are right now.
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 1: Because there were some people their parents that said I love you enough to help carry your burdens and I love you enough to not carry your backpack.
Speaker 1: And I love you enough to not carry your backpack.
Speaker 1: And I know that's not the outcome of every story, but I tell you that because it's really important to know that unconditional love necessitates conditional assistance.
Speaker 1: That unconditional love necessitates conditional assistance.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you're giving up on somebody.
Speaker 1: It just means you're letting somebody feel their mistakes so they'll see the need to change.
Speaker 1: Because until they feel their mistakes, you know what's probably not going to happen.
Speaker 1: They're probably not going to change.
Speaker 1: And this is hard to do.
Speaker 1: And when you set boundaries, it's as much for you as it is for them.
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example Something that all of us have in our backpack is our own personal spiritual, emotional and mental health.
Speaker 1: Like this is my load I need to carry.
Speaker 1: I need to be spiritually healthy, emotionally healthy.
Speaker 1: There are people in my life that I have set an unapologetic boundary with, because I will not be able to be spiritually, emotionally healthy unless I set a boundary with this individual, with these people.
Speaker 1: So what I've done, because this is my load, I have set a boundary here and it is my responsibility to do what God wants me to do so I can be who God wants me to be.
Speaker 1: And here's the deal when you set boundaries with people and you have boundaries in your life, eventually there will be fruit from this, which is what the last three verses of this section talk about.
Speaker 1: It says don't be deceived.
Speaker 1: Verse seven God is not mocked, for whatever a person sows, he will also reap, because the one who sows to his flesh will reap.
Speaker 1: What's that word?
Speaker 1: Will reap Destruction from the flesh.
Speaker 1: The one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.
Speaker 1: Let us not get tired of doing good, man.
Speaker 1: It's tough sometimes, isn't it?
Speaker 1: For we will reap at the proper time If we this is me, this is you if we don't give up.
Speaker 1: There's this undeniable principle in scripture of sowing and reaping, this undeniable principle of sowing and reaping.
Speaker 1: God's designed a world where we are to take personal responsibility.
Speaker 1: Our actions have consequences.
Speaker 1: Now, spiritually, we understand in the gospel that Jesus took our punishment on the cross for all of our sin and the moment we turn to Jesus, we turn away from our sin.
Speaker 1: We turn to Jesus by faith.
Speaker 1: We are completely forgiven because he took all of our sin and put it on himself.
Speaker 1: And if you will trust in Jesus Christ to be your savior, you trust in him.
Speaker 1: You have the forgiveness of your sins, which is a glorious thing.
Speaker 1: We have a new identity.
Speaker 1: But there's a distinction between having forgiveness of sins and the natural consequences of our actions.
Speaker 1: There's a distinction between these two.
Speaker 1: We could say this okay, so much of life is connected.
Speaker 1: There's a relationship between our actions today and what we'll experience tomorrow and next week and next month and next year and five years from now.
Speaker 1: For example, if I spend my financial resources, if I spend all of them, all my financial resources, every dollar I have on frivolous things like Michael Jordan tennis shoes, and I can't pay my mortgage, somebody tell me, if I don't pay my mortgage, what's going to happen?
Speaker 1: Kick it out, get out of here, you're done.
Speaker 1: Why the mortgage company is victimizing me.
Speaker 1: No, bro, you used your money on frivolous things.
Speaker 1: Bro, that would be consequences for my poor financial stewardship, and I understand financial situations are different for everybody, but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying right In this text here.
Speaker 1: Paul says if we sow to the flesh by constantly doing things that are putting things in my mind that are contrary to the promises of God and who God is and God's ways we're going to reap some things.
Speaker 1: But, on the contrary, if we sow to the Spirit, we will reap some things if we don't give up.
Speaker 1: So a few years ago I was at Panera Bread with a friend of mine.
Speaker 1: We were talking about this verse and I was a little bit discouraged.
Speaker 1: I just honestly I was kind of discouraged with the church.
Speaker 1: It was right COVID had been going on for a few months and I'm just like, oh my goodness, it was right COVID had been going on for a few months and I'm just like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: And it was tough and he was encouraging me with this verse and he said something and I said, hold on, can you say that again?
Speaker 1: I didn't get that and I said, hold on.
Speaker 1: I took out my iPhone notes and I was like I'm going to write this down notes.
Speaker 1: And I was like I'm going to write this down.
Speaker 1: And he said if you do the right things, the right way for the right length of time, eventually you get the right results.
Speaker 1: Now, like you are right now, I was trying to process it.
Speaker 1: If you do the right things for the right way, for the right reasons, for the right length of time, eventually you get the right results.
Speaker 1: Now, if you're like me, I want immediate payoff whenever I do anything good.
Speaker 1: I went to the gym one time I didn't drink a soda with dinner.
Speaker 1: I want to be a lean, mean muscle machine Doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1: Paul says listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 1: Paul says hey, hey, hey, if you don't give up, you'll reap.
Speaker 1: Verse nine proper time.
Speaker 1: How many of you know God's time is rarely our time, man, there's a song that I've been repeating.
Speaker 1: It's a song called On Time, god.
Speaker 1: You know, I have to repeat that all the time because I have to remind myself that God's timing is better than my timing.
Speaker 1: That's what I have to do.
Speaker 1: God's time isn't always my time.
Speaker 1: My timing, that's what I have to do.
Speaker 1: God's time isn't always my time.
Speaker 1: But we'll reap.
Speaker 1: And, to use Paul's planting analogy, sometimes we pray that God will give us trees, but God asks us to plant and water seeds.
Speaker 1: We should pray in faith, believing that God is going to bring trees in our life, and we pray that God will do great things.
Speaker 1: But what God asks you to do is to plant seeds seeds of faithfulness, seeds of obedience, seeds of doing the right thing even when the right thing is the hard thing.
Speaker 1: Seeds of sowing to the spirit when your flesh is screaming at you.
Speaker 1: Seeds of saying hey, in our family, this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 1: We're going to seek God first when the kids are like I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Seeds of patience, endurance.
Speaker 1: One of the things I pray over our church family I have like eight or nine prayers I pray over you in your life just about every day is that God will give you the power and the strength to have endurance, patience and joy, because the Christian life is a life of planting seeds and being faithful and being obedient and in proper time, god will grow the trees.
Speaker 1: And if we don't give up, fam, the trees are coming.
Speaker 1: If you don't give up, the trees are coming the trees in your life and the trees in the life of the people that you set boundaries with.
Speaker 1: Can I pray for you?