WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:01.840 So today is Family Sunday. 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:03.200 Family Sunday? 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:03.680 Yeah. 00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:05.919 Can I have all the kids? 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:07.360 Can all the kids wave at me? 00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:08.080 Wave at me? 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:08.880 All the kids? 00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:10.320 Okay, right, that's right. 00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:12.480 All the kids at heart, would you wave at me? 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:16.160 I I just want to talk to all the kids for just a second. 00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:17.519 I want you to know this. 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:20.239 That God loves you. 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:23.039 He does. 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.039 And God values you. 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:29.679 And you are so important to God that he gave his son Jesus to come and die for you. 00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:32.399 And I also want you to know that as a church, we love you. 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:33.600 And we believe in you. 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:34.719 So we do one more time. 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:36.799 We welcome all the kids to church this morning. 00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:37.039 Yeah. 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:37.600 That's right. 00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:38.399 That's right. 00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:42.159 Kids, your job is to keep mom and dad awake. 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:43.520 Keep mom and dad awake, okay? 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:44.799 Keep mom and dad awake. 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:45.840 One other thing. 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.560 If you are new with us, we have something called the three-week challenge that people take every single week. 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:54.880 We don't think you get the full FCC experience in less than three Sundays. 00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:58.240 So if you'll come three times, they don't even have to be in a row. 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:03.600 We would love to give you a hoodie or a t-shirt at the next steps and info table in the lobby. 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:09.760 You can even let us know you're taking the challenge by tapping the tap tag in the seat back in front of you. 00:01:10.079 --> 00:01:12.000 Well, let's get into the message this morning. 00:01:12.159 --> 00:01:24.239 We're gonna be in 2 Timothy chapter number four, 2 Timothy chapter 4, and we are in week two of a series entitled How are Healing from Life's Hurts? 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:25.760 I'm getting ahead of myself already. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:28.239 Healing from Life's Hurts. 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:34.239 And one of the greatest blessings in the church is that it's made up of people. 00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:47.920 While at the same time, one of the greatest challenges in the church can be that it's made up of people. 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.680 How many of you know what I'm saying? 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:53.840 People can be awesome, they can encourage you. 00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:56.799 Except for the Raiders fans, they're not very encouraging. 00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:00.400 People can encourage you. 00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:05.120 People can pray for you, they can carry your burdens. 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:08.479 I mean, so many times I come in here and you guys are just so encouraging. 00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:10.240 But there are other times. 00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:12.000 Other times. 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:15.919 Where people can, man, they just say the wrong thing at the wrong time. 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:24.080 There are other times where where people can hurt us, where people can wound us. 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:31.599 And when it happens in the church, it's almost like magnified because the church is supposed to be a place of healing. 00:02:32.879 --> 00:02:38.240 And when we experience a hurt, it just makes it even worse. 00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:47.840 And today in part two of this series, Healing from Life's Hurts, we're gonna talk about healing from church hurt. 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:50.400 Healing from church hurt. 00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:57.759 And we're gonna talk today about what is genuine church hurt versus something that isn't genuine church hurt. 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:03.840 And when we experience genuine church hurt, how do we actually heal from this? 00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:15.120 Now here's the reality of genuine church hurt is that church hurt will either drive you from Jesus or drive you to Jesus. 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:23.280 It'll either strengthen your faith or it will weaken your faith. 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:26.319 I I experienced some some church hurt when I was in college. 00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:33.199 The college I went to was very closely connected with the local church, and leaders in the college were also leaders in the church. 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:37.039 I had a job where I worked 10 hours a week in the college. 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:41.520 My job was to recruit high school students to come to the college. 00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:45.919 And there was a couple weeks before I was graduating, I was like 20, 21 years old. 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:51.919 And my boss, who is a leader in the church, he called me into his office and he said, I want to talk to you. 00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:54.719 And I was like, Cool, I'm graduating a couple weeks. 00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:58.080 He's gonna encourage me, he's gonna give me some wisdom. 00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:00.319 I'm like, I need all the wisdom I can get. 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:06.240 I'm like, maybe if I'm super fortunate, maybe maybe he'll give me like a gift card to like the campus coffee shop. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:07.840 That would be great, right? 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:12.159 But I experienced something completely different. 00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:17.199 I stepped into his office and he said, sit down. 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:19.839 Share, uh-oh. 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:28.240 And he said, You've been lazy, you're not working hard. 00:04:28.480 --> 00:04:30.639 I don't know what has been going on with you. 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:35.360 And he went on to say things that were factually incorrect. 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:39.279 And I was like, sir, I'm not sure. 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:44.639 Like, if you have like the wrong person here, and and that kind of got him a little more, you know, a little more excited. 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:55.040 Now, to make matters worse, his window, his his office had two large windows, which is wonderful if you're getting employee of the month. 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:59.519 Not so wonderful if you're getting publicly executed. 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:06.800 I said, sir, I don't really know if like, you know, you got the wrong guy. 00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:07.920 And he was like, Oh, really? 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:10.800 He was like, Well, I'm gonna call the dean's office right now. 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:15.600 I'm gonna find out your attendance record because I'm sure you've been lazy all semester. 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:18.399 He's like, Whew. 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.839 I was like, now we're having a court trial to pull out the evidence here. 00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:30.399 And he calls the dean's office and he says, I want the attendance record for Nate Stone Street. 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:34.879 And the dean's office, and then he puts it on speaker so I can hear. 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:40.959 He says, They say, uh, Nate Stone Street's like, yes, so they take a moment and they pull up the records or whatever. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:45.920 They said he has had 180 classes this semester. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:57.120 He has one unexcused absence out of 180, and he has been late, tardy for class five times out of 180. 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:04.480 Now, at that moment, I'm like, that's pretty good for a college dude. 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:11.199 And I'm like, okay, the apology's coming. 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.920 The apology's coming, the apology's coming. 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.040 Nope. 00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:33.519 He doubled down, he disregarded the facts, he gets up out of his seat, he pulls out the preacher pointer finger, he leans over the desk, and he says, he starts to yell, see, I told you you've been late five times. 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:39.759 It shows how lazy you are, and you think you're gonna be a pastor, you think you're gonna be in ministry, there's no way. 00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:53.199 And in that moment, I felt about that big. 00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:56.480 Everybody could hear. 00:06:56.879 --> 00:07:03.360 Everybody could look in the office and see him yelling at me, and this was a Christ follower I respected. 00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:12.240 This was a spiritual leader in my life, this was somebody that was supposed to help me grow spiritually, and I learned something at that moment, and it's this. 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:20.240 Sometimes the people who represent God do a poor job of representing him. 00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:26.480 I don't even have to tell you this. 00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:34.079 All you gotta do is go through your social media feed, and every other day we're hearing something about this church leader, this pastor, this whatever, right? 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:50.879 And the question for us this morning isn't whether somebody will disappoint us because sometimes people disappoint us or we have unmet expectations at times, or whether sometimes we experience genuine church hurt, which we'll get into that in just a moment. 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:54.160 The question is is defining that. 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:58.000 The question is what will we do after that happens? 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.040 What will we do in the after? 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:14.800 Because sometimes people are gonna do dumb stuff and things they shouldn't do, and hurtful things and wrong things, and it's terrible and it's bad. 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:18.720 But the question is, what will we do in the after? 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:27.199 Because what we do in the after determines if we will still allow the kingdom of God to go forward through us. 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:32.639 What we do in the after will determine if we will still make a difference in our lives for God. 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:46.559 What will happen in the after will determine if we actually will experience healing, or if we'll just stay bitter, or if we'll say, Well, I'm never gonna be involved in this again when God wants to use you in great and mighty ways. 00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:53.919 But it only happens based on the decisions that we make in the after. 00:08:55.600 --> 00:09:04.320 And today, what we're gonna see is we're gonna see one of the greatest Christ followers to ever walk the face of the planet, his name was the Apostle Paul. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:08.720 We are gonna see the specific church hurt that he experienced. 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:17.440 Because he experienced church hurt, and we're gonna experience and see what the apostle Paul did in the after. 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:26.399 And the way you can heal from hurt is if you'll do in the after what the apostle Paul did in the after. 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:28.559 So let's pick it up in 2 Timothy chapter 4. 00:09:28.639 --> 00:09:30.159 If you're ready for it, would you say amen? 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:33.919 2 Timothy chapter number 4, verse number 9. 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.639 Paul is writing to Timothy. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:45.919 Timothy is his apprentice, Timothy's his uh Timothy his is his protege, and Paula has been teaching Timothy about the ministry. 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:52.000 And first and 2 Timothy are all about the church, all about uh how pastors should handle themselves. 00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:56.480 And Paul is at the end of his life, he's about to die, and this is what he says to Timothy. 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:00.000 He says, I want you to make every effort to come to me soon. 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:08.080 Because Demas has deserted me. 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:14.799 Since he loved this present world. 00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:21.679 You see, Demas was one of Paul's closest friends. 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:25.120 Demas was in the same growth group as Paul. 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:29.120 Demas was on the same served team as Paul. 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:35.039 Demas, Demas, he he wasn't the guy that you see at church every now and again. 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:37.840 And you you like you forgot their name. 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.960 So you just say, hey, brother. 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:43.919 That was that wasn't Demas. 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:51.279 Demas wasn't the guy that uh that Paul kind of randomly had seen. 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:59.600 It says, in fact, in in Phonemon 1, verse 24, it says, Demas and Luke, Paul writes this, Demas and Luke, my can we get the next slide up? 00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:03.519 Demas and Luke, my fellow workers. 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:09.679 Demas was this guy, Paul. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:11.840 Demas was his ride or die. 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.879 And Demas had left him. 00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:17.039 Look what the go back to the text. 00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:24.080 If we can go back to verse number 10, it says that Demas had left him since he loved this present world. 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:31.360 It wasn't that Demas, it wasn't that Demas was like, um, well, I had this other opportunity and I can still serve the Lord. 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:42.080 Demas says, actually, Paul, we used to travel together, we used to serve together, we were boys, but the world is more attractive than following Christ, and I am out. 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:46.080 I can't do this anymore. 00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:47.120 I'm not doing it. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:56.559 And here's something that I think we all know, but I think it's worth noting is that people will disappoint you. 00:11:57.519 --> 00:11:59.360 I think we all know that. 00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:04.399 But when we talk about genuine church hurt, we're not just talking about somebody disappointing us. 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:22.240 Here's what we're talking about: somebody abandoning us, somebody betraying us, somebody manipulating us, somebody abusing us, somebody using their authority in a church to use you, manipulate you, do something for their own benefit, to hurt you. 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:24.799 That is what genuine church hurt is. 00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:32.639 When we've been abandoned, when a church leader, when this person in the church did something to you to use you. 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:38.399 Now, there are other times when we have unmet expectations. 00:12:38.799 --> 00:12:41.440 Or there are times when somebody disappoints us. 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:46.799 And that is different from actually experiencing genuine church hurt. 00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:48.559 Let me give you an example. 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:56.639 I have a pastor friend, and there was a family that had not visited, had not been to the church for a couple weeks, and the pastor was just concerned about him. 00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:58.960 So he just reaches out and is like, hey, how are things going? 00:12:59.120 --> 00:12:59.519 We miss you. 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:01.759 And the family goes, We're not doing very good. 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:02.720 He's like, Really? 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:03.679 What's going on? 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:08.320 They said, Well, Pastor, you're mad at us, and we know it. 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:11.440 And I don't think we're ever going back to your church again. 00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:16.399 And the pastor, the pastor says, he like racks his brain. 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:18.559 He's like, Man, am I am I mad at this person? 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:22.080 Like, he's like, actually, like, I'm not mad at you. 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:25.759 Like, would you help me understand what makes you think that I'm mad at you? 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:30.240 They said, Pastor, I'm glad you asked. 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:38.799 Two weeks ago, we were in service, and there were people that were sitting in the row in front of us. 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:45.440 And you went up and you shook their hand, but you did not shake our hand. 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:58.159 And after you shook their hand, you went up to the front and you had to preach whatever you want to do, but you didn't shake our hand, and that shows that you're mad at us, and because you are mad at us, you have hurt us, and we don't think we're ever going back to the church again. 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:00.480 Because you didn't shake our hand. 00:14:02.639 --> 00:14:04.159 How many would understand? 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:07.039 That's not church hurt. 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:10.960 It's almost laughable, right? 00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:22.080 In fact, how many would even say if somebody confuses somebody not shaking their hand for church hurt, what that really is, is that's just immaturity. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:33.039 And sometimes people mistakenly confuse their own spiritual immaturity with genuine church hurt. 00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:59.519 And and here's why this is so problematic is because when we label our disappointments or spiritual immaturity as a church hurt, we unintentionally minimize the pain of people who have experienced real betrayal, real abuse, real manipulation, or real abandonment. 00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:11.039 There's a difference between having unmet expectations or being disappointed versus having genuine church hurt. 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:16.960 And when I'm when I when I say, man, I'll understand, I'll understand. 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:25.840 I emailed Mason a song for us to sing three Sundays in a row, and he we didn't sing it on the worship team. 00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:27.440 I'm hurt. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:31.440 The church doesn't care about me, so I'm leaving. 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.519 When we do that, this is what we're doing. 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:34.320 This is what we're doing. 00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:39.200 We are unintentionally minimizing the people who actually have been genuinely church hurt. 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:44.559 When we think, when we think, when we're like, man, I don't understand. 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:50.000 I showed up for the 11-15 service and there was no parking. 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:54.240 That church doesn't care about me. 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:56.639 There's no parking anywhere. 00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:58.480 I had to park down the street. 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.320 I don't like that people are coming to church and hearing the gospel. 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:07.120 I don't like that the church is so full that we're running out of parking. 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:10.799 Pastor Nate, you need to tell somebody to leave. 00:16:11.759 --> 00:16:12.960 I'm hurt. 00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:15.840 I'll tell you somebody that needs to leave. 00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:16.720 I'm just kidding. 00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:17.600 I'm just kidding. 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:18.320 I'm just kidding. 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:19.440 Just kidding. 00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:29.519 And what could happen, what could happen, what could happen is we can have unmet expectations or disappointments, or honestly, just our own immaturity. 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:34.000 And it can be confused with genuine church hurt. 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:39.840 Paul was genuinely church hurt because somebody that served with him literally abandoned him. 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.080 Somebody that's like, I'm gonna be with you. 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:43.360 We're in this together. 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:50.879 We that they prayed together, they served together, they made Jesus known together, and and Demon says, actually, Paul, I'm not doing that anymore. 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:52.559 I'm leaving for the world. 00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:54.960 That is genuine church hurt. 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:01.039 But there were people that didn't forsake Paul. 00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:05.519 In fact, it says in verse number 11, it says, only Luke is with me. 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:12.079 Bring Mark with you, for he is useful to me in the ministry. 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:16.400 Now, here's what's interesting about him saying, Bring Mark. 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:19.599 You would think that Paul would never want Mark to come with him. 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:20.240 Here's why. 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:30.319 In Acts chapter 15, the scripture says there was a sharp disagreement between Paul and Mark, and it was such a sharp disagreement that they ended up going separate ways. 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:35.039 The scripture doesn't say clearly what it what it was, what the sharp disagreement was. 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:39.440 Personally, I think one was a Niners fan, one was a Raiders fan, but I don't know. 00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:43.519 Or maybe one was a Giants fan, one was a Dodgers fan, which is even worse, okay? 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:44.240 Right? 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:46.799 There was some type of a sharp disagreement. 00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:54.720 And here in 2 Timothy chapter 4, now the apostle Paul says this bring Mark with me. 00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.240 Like, bring him to me. 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:57.680 You know what this shows? 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:05.839 This shows that Paul was humble and Mark was humble, and they were humble enough to reconcile their differences. 00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:21.599 And now at the end of Paul's life, of all the people that he wants to come with him, he says, Hey, I want I want you to bring Mark with you because Mark is useful to me in the ministry. 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:28.400 He says in verse 12, Paul writes, I've sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:35.039 When you come, bring the cloak I left in Troaz with Carpis, a cloak. 00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:38.799 It's a big thick wool garment that you can use for a blanket or a coat. 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:39.680 Bring that. 00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.599 Paul here is in prison. 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:46.640 In these prisons, they did not have any heating, they did not have any Wi-Fi. 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:48.240 It was not a good situation. 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:50.799 He's like, hey, bring something to keep me warm. 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:55.759 And he says, as well as the scrolls, especially the parchments. 00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:57.440 The scrolls were books. 00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:59.839 And these were probably parts of the Old Testament. 00:18:59.920 --> 00:19:02.400 So Paul did in his life is like, hey, bring the books. 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:03.279 I still want to learn. 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:04.720 I still want to grow. 00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:12.720 In verse 14, he says, Alexander the coppersmith did great harm to me. 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:17.680 The Lord will repay him according to his works. 00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:25.440 Watch out for him yourself, because he strongly opposed our words. 00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:34.000 Paul says, This guy named Alexander, the coppersmith, this guy's like a copperhead rattlesnake. 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:37.279 This guy opposed the message of the gospel. 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:39.039 This, because that's what this is what Paul's doing. 00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:46.960 Paul's going around making Jesus known, sharing about the death, the burial, the resurrection of Jesus Christ, that belief in Jesus is the only way to salvation. 00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:48.240 It's the only way to God. 00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:49.519 It's only through Jesus. 00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:51.279 Alexander, here's this message. 00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:56.000 Alexander is opposing the apostle Paul in everything that he's doing. 00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:57.920 He's saying, No, Paul, you're wrong. 00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.240 The gospel's not the only way to God. 00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:01.920 There are multiple ways to God. 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:04.480 Paul, we don't like what you're saying. 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:10.400 Paul writes to Timothy, he says, Alexander the coppersmith is opposing me. 00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:14.720 He has opposed me and he says, Watch out for him. 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:22.319 And then in verse 16, Paul talks about another church hurt that he experienced. 00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:27.279 So he's had Demas, one of his boys, abandon him. 00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:34.799 Now in verse 16, he says, At my first defense, this is a public court trial. 00:20:35.119 --> 00:20:36.960 Paul is on trial. 00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:42.559 No one stood by me. 00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:47.359 Now one person stood by me. 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:48.799 And look what it says. 00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:56.079 It says, but everyone, but everyone, but everyone deserted me. 00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:58.799 Can we say the words deserted me together? 00:20:58.960 --> 00:20:59.279 Ready? 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:00.319 Desert me. 00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:01.680 One more time, 10 a.m. 00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:02.480 Sorry, but here we go. 00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:02.720 Ready? 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:03.599 Deserted me. 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:04.480 This is what Paul says. 00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:07.839 I was at a place in my life where I was at a court trial. 00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:10.559 I'm being accused of things. 00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:16.559 My people, my church family, these people that were supposed to be with me and support me and pray for me. 00:21:16.960 --> 00:21:19.279 I would think at least a one or two or three or four. 00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:20.240 This is what Paul says. 00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:23.680 Paul says, every one of them deserted me. 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:27.759 There was nobody, Paul. 00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.519 Like nobody texted you. 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.240 Nobody revered deserted him. 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.079 And now Paul has to decide. 00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:36.000 Demas has forsaken him. 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:39.200 Everyone has deserted him when he needs him most. 00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:43.839 Now Paul has to decide what is he going to do in the after? 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.119 What's he gonna do after everybody deserted him? 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:54.160 What's he gonna do after he was forgotten about and abandoned? 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:58.079 And look what Paul chooses to do in the after. 00:21:58.720 --> 00:21:59.519 It's something. 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.079 That's not very easy to do. 00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:04.319 He says this. 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:10.240 He says, May it not be counted against them. 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:15.119 You know what Paul chose to do in the after? 00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:18.960 Paul chose to forgive. 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:20.720 Watch this. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:24.960 Paul chose grace over grudges. 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.440 How many of you know choosing grace over grudges is hard to do? 00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:31.039 How many of you are like me? 00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:34.079 It's way easier to choose grudges over grace. 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:40.000 Because what I think is I'm like, they don't deserve grace. 00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:45.839 Which then I'm like, wait, isn't that what grace is? 00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:48.240 Getting what you don't deserve? 00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:57.359 What I think is I'm like, it almost feels like if I extend grace, I'm letting them off the hook for what they did. 00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:03.519 How could I extend grace? 00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:05.519 No, it's also interesting. 00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:07.519 Paul didn't deny what happened to him. 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:10.640 Paul wasn't like, oh, it's okay, everything's fine. 00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:16.400 No, Paul very clearly says, he says, they abandoned me, they deserted me. 00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:23.920 So Paul acknowledged what had happened to him, and then he chose to forgive. 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:35.279 Friend, we will never be able to heal from church hurt if we don't choose to forgive. 00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:45.200 It has to be a decision of the will. 00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:54.559 Our emotions are gonna replay things again and again and again and again, right? 00:23:55.440 --> 00:24:00.319 My mind's gonna replay things again and again and again and again. 00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:07.279 It takes a decision of the will to choose to forgive even though they don't deserve. 00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:11.279 To choose to forgive in the after of our hurts. 00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:16.640 Now you think about that, and you're like, I like how could how could I how could I forgive? 00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:21.039 Like, Pastor Nate, do you realize what this person did to me in this place? 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.519 Do you realize how it's manipulated, how it was abused? 00:24:23.680 --> 00:24:24.559 Do you realize that? 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:26.880 And I would say, I don't. 00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:29.119 Like, I don't know what you've gone through. 00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.039 I don't act like I do. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:44.720 But as a follower of Jesus, our ability to forgive, our ability to forgive is not based on what has been done to us, but it's based on what Christ has done for us. 00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:52.240 So in the gospel, like we say here, the gospel doesn't just save us, it shapes us, strengthens us, and guides us. 00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:58.960 So in the gospel, I have been forgiven by God if my faith is in Christ, that gives me the power to forgive other people. 00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:03.200 In the gospel, God has extended grace to me. 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:08.799 So here's what that does: that gives me the ability to extend grace to other people. 00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:18.720 And friend, no matter what's happened to you, and I can't even, in a room like this, balcony online, I can't even imagine the unthinkable things that have happened to you. 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:22.799 And I don't minimize it, and I don't say it's okay. 00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:32.799 What I do say is as a follower of Jesus, we will never heal until we choose grace over grudges. 00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:38.720 Grace over grudges in the after. 00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:43.920 Because in the after, if we choose grudges over grace, we will never heal. 00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:48.960 In the after, if we choose grudges over grace, we will be bitter. 00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:56.880 In the after, if we choose grudges over grace, we will not be able to be used for the kingdom of God like God wants to use us. 00:25:57.119 --> 00:26:04.640 In the after, if we choose grudges over grace, we will never discover that God can strengthen us even in the after. 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:07.440 Because that's what happened in verse 17. 00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:08.400 Look what it says. 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:19.759 Paul says, But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that I might fully preach the word, and all the Gentiles might hear it. 00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.480 So I was rescued from the lion's mouth. 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:28.079 Paul is writing about the after. 00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:29.279 He's like, Yep, I've been hurt. 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:30.559 Demons forsook me. 00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:33.440 All those Jesus followers that said they were gonna be with me. 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:35.759 Like they I was on trial. 00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:40.880 Like, can y'all just like maybe stand outside, like, pray, do something? 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:42.720 They were all deserting me. 00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.240 And in the after, this is what this is what happened, and this is so powerful, guys. 00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:48.000 Don't miss this, don't miss this. 00:26:48.240 --> 00:27:02.079 In the after, the Lord stood with him, the Lord strengthened him, the Lord didn't forsake him, the Lord was still here, and then this is what Paul says because of this. 00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:08.880 So now that I fully now I'm still preaching the word, I'm still doing what God wants me to do. 00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:16.480 And this is what Paul did, and this is what I encourage us to do is to stay faithful in the after. 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:22.240 Is to stay faithful in the after. 00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:31.440 Paul says the the hurt that I experienced didn't drive me from Jesus, it it drove me to Jesus. 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:35.279 It made me more dependent on him. 00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:40.640 It allowed me to find my strength in him more than anything else. 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:48.240 And because of this, I use my gifts and skills and passions to make Jesus known to the Gentiles. 00:27:48.960 --> 00:28:02.480 And something that's that can be dangerous about church hurt is that church hurt can be one of the greatest tools the enemy uses to get you from fulfilling the purpose that God has for you. 00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:10.880 We can experience genuine hurt in the church, and in the after, this is what we do. 00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:15.119 We might even say, I'm gonna choose grace over grudges. 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:16.640 I'm gonna forgive. 00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:23.920 But what I'm also gonna do is I'm gonna sit on the sideline and I can never really engage in making Jesus known again. 00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:31.920 I can never really engage in using my gifts and my skills and my passions in the local church because this happened to me over here. 00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:37.440 Now, sometimes in a season of church hurt, genuine church hurt, we need to go to a different church. 00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:42.400 But we don't need to give up on the church because the church is designed for our spiritual growth. 00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:48.400 And the church is how God has uh God's design to move his gospel forward. 00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:56.480 And some of us in the room right now, we're living in the after, and maybe we're disillusioned, and maybe we have all these questions, and maybe we're not sure what to do. 00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:02.240 Can I just say stay faithful in the after because God has something for you in the after? 00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:07.440 And in the after can be your greatest source of ministry and strength. 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:12.480 And God can use you in greater ways in the future than he's ever used you before. 00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:20.319 And what the enemy wants to do is he wants to use this church hurt to say, I am done, I can never do this again. 00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:27.440 And as your friend, I stand up here and I could say, I get it. 00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:36.480 But the apostle Paul would tell you, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, in the after is when some of my greatest ministry happened. 00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:38.160 If you will choose to stay faithful. 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:42.480 I'm gonna ask the worship team to come up here and I'm gonna end uh end with two questions this morning. 00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:45.119 Here's the questions I want to end with this morning. 00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:53.119 Here's the first question Is will you choose to be the person that extends grace and forgiveness instead of holding grudges? 00:29:54.400 --> 00:29:58.880 Maybe in your life right now, maybe you would say, Hey, I don't have any grudges against anybody. 00:29:59.039 --> 00:29:59.440 That's great. 00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:00.240 Maybe you do. 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:01.119 I get it. 00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:03.119 Sometimes people are tough. 00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:09.119 But would you choose to say, I'm going, I'm going to extend grace and forgiveness. 00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:14.079 Here's my second question: is this is will you choose to be faithful in the after? 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.160 Will you choose to say, I'm I'm gonna be faithful no matter what happens? 00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:22.240 In a moment, we're gonna sing a song of worship to the Lord, and our prayer team is gonna be available. 00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:23.759 And I invite you to come forward and pray. 00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:26.000 Maybe God has spoken to your heart through this message. 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:30.319 Maybe there's something else in your life, in your heart, that you just you just need prayer for. 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:32.480 We're gonna be open and available to pray with you. 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:34.480 We're gonna have a song of worship and praise to the Lord.