This is an exclusive preview of my limited private podcast series: Elevate Your Marriage to Great! This podcast series is for you if you're an ambitious, growth-oriented woman who is tired of not receiving the passion, partnership, and potency you know is possible in your long-term relationship.

If you loved this episode and want to hear more, you can get the full series for free at ourlegacylove.com/elevate 

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You're brilliant. You're accomplished. But you're frustrated.

In the first episode of this limited series, I solve a mystery that troubles powerful women like you: "I'm such a skilled creator and problem solver in other areas of my life: work, home, fitness... Why is my marriage the one place I can't make any headway?" There is nothing wrong with you if you have this question. You're not broken or bad for feeling or thinking it. AND there is so much power available to you when you recognize the root of your frustrations.

Today, I'll reveal the five key reasons why you're struggling to achieve deep intimacy and satisfying relationships with men.

These are the answers I wish I could have given myself 20 years ago. As you listen, I hope you’ll feel seen and understood in a way you haven’t before. 

In the next episode, we’ll talk about the superpower of receptivity: how you can feel both strong and soft, and how you can both have high standards and be deeply satisfied with exactly what you receive. Make sure to subscribe to Elevate Your Marriage to Great to get the rest of the episodes! 

Get the free private podcast here: ourlegacylove.com/elevate

Connect with me on Instagram @tinylovehabits

Learn more about my RECEIVE mentorship for women at ourlegacylove.com/firsttoreceive

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

“The day that you wake up, and you realize that you have been had, and the person you’re sleeping with is not the person you fell in love with, that’s the first day of your real marriage.” - James Framo. 

In this episode, my husband and I walk you through our journey through the four stages of relationship. From the initial spark of love without knowledge to the mature state of knowing love, we'll share insights into each stage and how they have shaped our 27-year relationship. Whether you're wondering why marriage is so hard or seeking ways to reignite the passion, join us as we delve into the intricacies of navigating these stages and finding grace in each one.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• How Kurt and I navigated the four stages of relationships: love without knowledge, knowledge without love, the reckoning, and knowing love.
• Strategies we've used to navigate challenges and conflicts in our 27-year marriage.
• The three components of fostering intimacy and connection beyond the reckoning
• Our experience with embracing imperfections and growing together as individuals and as a couple
• The iterative process of facing yourself and your relationship with honesty and authenticity every day

And more.


“Marriage is a crucible that turns you into who you were meant to be... It's like a rock tumbler making gems beautiful, banging off the rough edges.”

I hope that you feel accompanied and supported, whichever stage of love you’re in now. My wish is that you will continue to be present to the mess and the mystery in the majesty of this wild, alive thing of being human with another human.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Embracing Pain + Beauty with Special Guest Myra Sack

The Five Winning Relationship Strategies episode

The Five Losing Relationship Strategies episode

How to Stay, When to Go episode

100-Year Marriage episode

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Today, I'm so grateful to share with you a profoundly moving conversation with Myra Sack, a woman who embodies the essence of resilience and intimacy with life.

In her newly released book, ​57 Fridays: Losing Our Daughter, Finding Our Way,​ Myra brings us into the intimate journey through the immense grief of losing her daughter, Havi, to Tay-Sachs disease. I wanted to bring Myra onto the show to explore the delicate balance between the most painful and beautiful moments of our lives. This episode is an exploration of how we can navigate our deepest fears and emerge with a stronger, more intimate connection to ourselves and others.

It's a must-listen for anyone seeking to face their pain and find a source of profound connection and authenticity.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Myra's practice of "Shabbirthdays" and the power of ritual in creating sacred spaces for healing and connection
• How to face and embrace fear to avoid being paralyzed by it
• The importance of emotional granularity in understanding and articulating our feelings to better navigate life's challenges.
• The role of self-awareness and self-trust in developing psychological resilience and maintaining our sense of self amidst grief and loss.
• How to foster meaningful connections and community support during times of profound personal crisis.

And more.  

“We are so afraid to turn towards the deepest, most painful, real reality that we miss the opportunity to experience the deepest joy and the fullest love”

Get your copy of 57 Fridays: Losing Our Daughter, Finding Our Way

Learn about E-Motion, the non-profit Myra founded to “support community, movement and ritual to enhance coping and resilience”

Follow Myra on Instagram @myrasack

May you find the courage to embrace both the beauty and the pain in your life, allowing them to coexist and transform you in ways you never thought possible. Let this episode inspire you to seek out and create sacred spaces for yourself and your loved ones, fostering deeper connections and a richer, more authentic experience of living.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

I want to go deep with you today about something that's been coming up a lot in my life and work: what it means to embrace our power and pleasure as women. For the longest time, I used to feel guilty for wanting more, for desiring abundance and joy in my life.

But, after many years of being stifled under my feelings of shame, I realized that by prioritizing my own well-being and pleasure, I wasn't being selfish—I was actually becoming more generous, more present, and more alive. And now, I'm here to share that revelation with you, to show you a different way to navigate this world as a woman.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Why viewing yourself as a woman built to receive can transform your relationships and your life.
• The liberating truth I’m learning about seeking approval from others (or pissing them off!)
• How your deepest desires can serve as divine guidance, leading you towards a life filled with passion, pleasure, and purpose.
• The transformative power of embracing self-care as the ultimate act of generosity.
• How cultivating abundance within yourself can enrich the lives of those around you.

And more.


“There's no limit to how expansive your life can be. There's no way in which your expansion takes away from anyone else. You grew it. If you're doing it from your own honesty, your own love, you're not hijacking anyone else to take what's rightfully theirs. You're in fact growing what's yours. And as you do that, you have a right to absolutely anything you can imagine opening your receptivity to. ”-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

As you go about the rest of your day, I hope you will remember that you are the hearth, you are the garden, and your capacity for love and abundance knows no bounds. So go forth, my loves, and tend to your flame with wild abandon.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

So often, we find ourselves stuck in the same old patterns, grappling with conflicts or feeling disconnected. We try workshops, therapy, self-help books, but somehow, things just don't stick.

After today's episode, you'll understand why and what steps to take next. Through working in this way, I've seen couples completely turn things around in as little as three days, or a couple of focused weeks. But what I'm about to share isn't just for those who work with me. It's a roadmap for anyone seeking to improve their relationship – a blueprint for success. So today I'm going to show you how best to use your precious energy.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• What doesn't work in getting help for your relationship. 
• The three things that really do make the biggest difference. 
• The framework that’s been tremendously helpful in my marriage and my clients’
• Why this method works way better for men than the other approaches I’ve tried

And more. 


“The reason we've been doing things the way we've been doing them is because of the patterns we brought into the relationship. We have deep devotion to repeating our patterns because at some point those patterns were survival level necessary” -Michele Lisenbury Christensen

I hope this episode has shed some light on the patterns that might be holding you back in your relationships. Remember, you have the power to transform these patterns and create the love and connection you truly desire. Until next time, may your journey to self-discovery and relational growth be filled with joy and fulfillment.

Learn more about Terry Real at Terry Real - Relational Life Therapy.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

I was so grateful to sit down and record with my teacher, Eric Klein, the founder of ​Wisdom Heart​ along with his wife, Devi. I wanted you to hear from him what he's teaching me about my body, mind, spirit, and the way that those interact with the experiences I have in my marriage, my earning, my business -- pretty much in every area of my life.

I am thrilled for you all to hear Eric talk with us about some of the ways that you can apply planetary astrology, the chakras, meditation, and the spiritual path in general to evolve more of what you want in love and life.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Both of our journeys with Kriya Yoga and it's relevance for practitioners seeking coherence and wholeness in their busy lives. 
• The power of practice and why it resonates with me and so many other women
• The connection between planetary astrology and our inner chakras
• Our definition of intimacy and how it can show us our greatest teachers

And more.  

“Intimacy is another word for awakening  because it's really reducing the layers of self protection  in order to become more and more connected to life. The most potent aspects of life come to us as human beings.” -Eric Klein

I hope that you feel as nourished and inspired as I do after hearing from Eric. My wish for you is that you receive life’s gentle, insistent, invitations to more fullness and wholeness.

Learn more and connect with Eric at wisdomheart.com or @wisdom.heart on Instagram!

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

So many women come to me wanting to turn up their libidos and experience more and better orgasms. I start by asking them 11 questions that, on the surface, don’t seem directly related to erotic desire. But the answers that women give me tell me a ton about their relationships with themselves,  their turn-on, their bodies, their sensations, and with their capacity to contain embodied experiences, both desired experiences and not desired experiences.

In this episode, I'm going to ask you those same 11 questions that tell me whether or not you are in a robust, joyful relationship with your own desires, receptivity, and pleasure. You’ll hear about:

• Why I ask each of these questions and the common answers I hear from clients
• Why and how these libido killers affect women specifically
• How to cultivate a desire in ways that have nothing to do with your partner
• Simple practices you can add to your day to experience more turn-on throughout your life

And more. 

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“Our capacity for pleasant sensations is always conscribed by our capacity for unpleasant, unwanted sensations, the things we fear, the things we're angry about, the things that we have grief about.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• How you wake up matters [10:20]
• A note about dressing sexy [16:05]
• Why you need to put on your own oxygen mask first [25:36]
• What your inner pleasure goddess wants for you [31:15]

I hope that these 11 questions help you see where you can build your capacity to delight in sensation. My wish is that you pick just one area to begin to shift today with the intention of deepening your relationship with yourself, your body, your felt sensations, your yes, your no, and your desire.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

The term “gaslighting” has become a buzzword in recent years and, because of its widespread use, the meaning of this term has become a bit murky. In a nutshell, gaslighting is when you are experiencing something and endeavoring to talk to the other person about it, but they flip it around on you so that you wind up questioning yourself, your own character, motivations, and even grip on reality. Today, I want to talk about what I call “gaslighting lite” or the ways that understanding the gaslight effect can help you navigate when gaslighting behaviors show up in your otherwise healthy relationship.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Common areas in which many, many people gaslight our partners or other people in our lives
• Why gaslighting shows up in otherwise healthy relationships 
• How you may be unconsciously participating in this pattern
• How you can extricate yourself from this painful cycle, whichever side of it you are on and turn past gaslighting lite into relationship gold

And more. 

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“Subconscious parts of us react in a knee-jerk fashion that might be out of character for us, might almost be like a different person's behavior, and that subconscious part does that in order to protect the blind spot.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen


Hot Moments in This Episode:

• How I’ve participated in “gaslighting lite” and how I intervened [13:48]
• The way you or your partner is acting like a 15-year-old [16:28]
• What can happen when you start calling out these behaviors [17:52]

I hope that this episode gives you a starting place to begin to unravel this gaslighting lite cycle and illuminate ​​the blind spots that will turn into areas of new life for you and your partner.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

We Can Do Hard Things Podcast: Are You Being Gaslighted?

The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide by Dr. Robin Stern

What is DARVO?  by Dr. Jennifer J. Freyd

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

You may have heard the term “patriarchy” used to describe a social and political construct, but, as my mentor, Terry Real, explains, it is also a psychological notion. The way that patriarchy defines rigid gender roles becomes subconsciously embedded in the way we think and behave, which has deep implications for both partners inside a relationship. How can we recognize when psychological patriarchy is at play and what can we do to counteract it? 

In this episode, I’ll discuss:

• How our sense of ourselves as humans has been artificially bifurcated into masculine and feminine traits
• Why masculine traits are overvalued and feminine traits are undervalued. 
• The painful consequences of psychological patriarchy.
• How Legacy Love takes couples through five levels of recovery from this deadening way of looking at ourselves and at one another.

And more. 

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“We can't build deeper, sweeter relationships than we've had, than our parents have had, than all the ones we've seen around us without dismantling some of the structures that have been invisible to us, that have stopped us from having true partnership, true equality, true intimacy.”

-Michele Lisenbury Christensen


Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Terry Real’s three rings of psychological patriarchy [1:52]
• Why I tackle psychological patriarchy with couples coaching clients [11:21]
• The highest level of Legacy Love I’ve discovered [22:36]

I hope that you give yourself grace as you begin to untangle all the deep and complicated beliefs about gender and relationships that are holding you back. It is my wish that you continue to heal from psychological patriarchy and grow in love together.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Kurt and I have been married for almost 23 years and we're planning on another 50 to 75 together. We think, in terms of taking care of our bodies, minds and spirits and given the way technology is going, we could each live to be well over a hundred which gives us an amazingly long time to grow in love together and to contribute in so many other parts of our lives. Today's episode is about how we think about what I call, for shorthand “The 100-Year Marriage” and how you could think about it too. 

In this episode, we’ll cover:

• Why you should think about the long-term plan for your relationship
• The areas of your life you should consider as you look at the next 50 or 75 years
• Questions you can ask yourself and each other to help define your vision for long lives together
• Resources that have helped expand my thinking about longevity and legacy

And more. 

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“You get to have any marriage, you're up for creating.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• How to plan for retirement... or not. (11:30)
• The books that changed my outlook on life (13:40)
• How you are living as if your relationship doesn’t matter (27:46)

I hope that your love can be a fountain that nourishes everything around it, an oasis that creates aliveness spreading out and out and out from you as a couple.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• My Plan for Living to 156
• Cash Flow (game) by Robert Kiyosaki
• The 100 Year Life by Lynda Gratton & Andrew J. Scott
• Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
• Outlive by Peter Attia
• Lifespan by David A. Sinclair & Matthew D. LaPlante
• Built to Move by Kelly Starret

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

At 50 or 60 years old, you don’t have the same career, health, finances, or family life that you did when you were 30. Why should your sex life be the same as it was 20 years ago?  As we age, our bodies go through natural changes that can affect our sexual experiences and desires. This leads people to believe that they are no longer able to have the sexual experiences they used to. I’m here to tell you that fulfilling and pleasurable sex is possible at any age.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• The mindset blocks that you need to break through to have delicious sexual experiences as you age
• Societal expectations around sex and why they don’t serve you
• Ways to enhance your sexual experiences when things aren’t working the way they used to

And more. 

“If we can get out of the goal orientation, then we don't feel as acutely that "loss" of the way that we were used to performing in our thirties and forties. That opens up the doorway to the kind of sex that's possible now.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen.

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• The message about sex I wish we could get rid of (2:19)
• Why I don’t care about “performance” in bed (6:17)
• My thoughts on using medical supplements (8:30)

I hope this episode inspires you to live into your sexuality exactly as you are now without judgment or anxiety. And I wish you many, many more years of yummy pleasure and connection.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.


Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Kurt and I just enjoyed celebrating our 25th Valentine's Day together, but, truthfully, we try to live like every day is V-Day. We know that love is a habit and a skill set that requires effort and practice 365 days a year. If you want a love that gets better over time, you need to intentionally date your partner all year long, not just on holidays or anniversaries. In today’s episode, I’ll give you a year’s worth of date ideas that will bring you closer and deeper in love.

We’ll talk about:

• The ten kinds of dates I recommend adding to your repertoire 
• Examples of each date at different budget points
• How each type of date can benefit your relationship

And more.  

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• The date that will create more spark and sizzle (2:50)
• The kind of date that’s about pleasure and relaxation (4:44)
• The date where you can get stuff done and still be together (6:38)

I hope those 10 ideas spark years worth of phenomenal dates for you and your partner and that this practice of dating helps you build the skills that deepen your intimacy. You can download the 10 Kinds of Dates printable to get a quick reminder of each kind of date and brainstorm your own ideas.

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

You can find me on Instagram at @michelelisenbury. Let's connect!

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Whenever I say that I help couples create Legacy Love, the people I’m talking to light up because they're the kind of people who have a vision for their whole life. They want to leave a legacy in this lifetime and creating a love worth kind of handing down, something that goes far beyond just the couple to bless others, appeals to them. But, as great as that sounds, a lot of people ask me, what do you really mean by Legacy Love and what does that entail?

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• The eight components of  Legacy Love that I’ve identified (so far!)
• Why you should care about Legacy Love
• How you can heal and grow within your relationship
• Ways that you can build towards something magnificent in your partnership

And more.  

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“Love is not just a feeling. It's a skill set. It's a capacity is something that we need to grow on, work on, expand upon every day, a little bit at a time.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Making your relationship your personal school (2:20)
• How you can cultivate the divine masculine and feminine (4:52)
• Part of what makes relationships fragile (8:40)
• How a draining relationship is like a broken foot (13:40)

My wish for you is that you cultivate a Legacy Love that will energize and sustain you through the years. I hope that your love will continue to grow and that the light within and between you will illuminate the world around you.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

In this episode, I'll walk you through a couple of the ways that I've been helping clients for more than 20 years to review their old year and vision their new year. Visioning together is one of the foundations of Legacy Love; creating a relationship that's not just good, not just great, but builds your impact in the world, the legacy you want to leave behind, for not just you and your beloved, but your family, your community and the greater world.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• How to use your relationship desires as catalysts for your own deeper growth.
• How to become more growth oriented in your marriage without overwhelming or hurting your partner
• Choosing your goals and relationship aspirations and breaking them down into the very next step.
• Practical tips and exercises you can use on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual basis to move towards your vision

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“What I know for sure, is that making review and visioning a lifestyle, a decade after decade commitment, will transform the trajectory of your life and of your relationship.”

“So often, our greatest transformations do come on the margin, just by changing one thing, if it's well chosen, we can dramatically change the trajectory of our lives and our relationships.”
-Michele Linsebury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Why I recommend starting your visioning process with your bucket list (7:33)
• Creating a treasure map to your best future self. (10:07)
• Thinking of your household as a business  (14:38)
• Why I plan annual adventures with my husband (16:20)

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Couples’ Guide to an Amazing New Year
Reviewing Your Year in Love and Sex podcast episode

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

How far are you willing to go to create the passionate marriage you want? Are you ready to try anything? If you’re like many of my clients, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to create a connected, turned-on relationship. And I believe you can do it. Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet that will resolve your conflicts and create closeness. You may have already tried many different strategies but still don’t see the desired results. In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about some of the solutions you can try in your quest to have the kind of love and sex in your marriage that you want.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Different types of strategies you might try when you want more from your marriage
• The resources and tools my clients or I have used in each of the categories
• Common issues that arise with each of these strategies
• What to do when you feel like you’ve tried everything

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“We have to believe in something that we've never seen in order to bring it about and we have to push through the conventional wisdom of our time in order to create it”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• “Fix us” solutions, vs “fix me” solutions (8:40)
• Why you feel more responsible for the relationship (11:00)
• Ways you may be distracting yourself from your deeper desires (14:45)
• The revolution that you can join right now (20:00)

 Wherever you are on this ultimate journey of depth and devotion, and whatever your next step is, I wish you all the best. I want for you the love, sex, pleasure and intimacy with yourself, your partner and the divine that you want.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: (if applicable)

Toys in Babeland

Lelo.com

Laura Corn

David Deida

John Wineland

John Gottman, The Gottman Institute

Terry Real

Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If you feel like you are wasting your time and energy being upset about the same things month after month, year after year, the good news is that there’s a way out. You can break the cycle of hurt and resentment that keeps you from living the life you want. Sound good? Today's episode will equip you to free yourself from any grudge, irritation, frustration, resistance or anger that you may be carrying and take your power back.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• What I've learned about digging into the stuck places in relationships
• The surprising place where I learned the most powerful tool in my arsenal for discovering what's keeping us stuck.
• My step-by-step guide to the “resentment remodeling process”
• How I use the tool in my own life, using a real example (we’re getting real personal!)

And more.  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Resentment Remodeling Process Worksheet

“Most people want to be fair about their own role in their problems. We want to take responsibility. We want to feel agency and we want to be able to move past what's in the past. The bottom line is though, we never really learned how.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• What it means to get one of your “buttons” caught [6:04]
• How to sandblast aspects of your personality [8:40]
• Defining yourself as the protagonist of the story [19:24]

I hope that this tool brings you great peace and helps you return to your power. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

In my coaching practice and in my life, I hear so many questions about family planning; how to decide, when to start, and how many kids to have. The list goes on. There are strong societal expectations around becoming parents that can keep us from realizing what we really want and what’s best for us and our relationships. In this episode, I decided to round up my thoughts on some of the common questions I get around children and their effect on relationship that you may be considering

In this episode, we’ll discuss:

• Understanding and navigating differences in your and your partner’s desire to have kids
• Deciding if you’re ready to be a parent and what your timeline is
• How to consider your relationship and lifestyle when starting or growing your family
• What I did to prepare for our first baby
• Taking care of the relationship once you have children

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“It's okay that we grow up alongside our children. I think it's part of the human design that as we're raising a child, we are simultaneously re-parenting the part of ourselves that is the same age as that child.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen


Hot Moments in This Episode:

• “What if our relationship is difficult already?” (8:50)
• Why I chose to wait to have kids(11:40)
• One of the most baffling things about parenting (14:20)
• The important lesson I learned when my son was born (19:50)

 My hope for you is that you and your partner find intentionality, joy and meaning in your decisions around family, no matter what that may look like. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Bringing Baby Home workshop
And Baby Makes Three by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

While I’m not a clinical psychology professional, I often work with couples who have discovered that their brains are wired in completely different ways. This realization often arises when one partner (or both) consistently behaves in a way that creates friction between them, totally baffling the other. As humans, our brains are wonderfully diverse and have unique strengths, but it’s hard to understand what’s going on in your partner’s head when their experience is so different from your own. Today, I’ll share my perspective on recognizing the differences between you and your partner and how those insights can help us see the same patterns in a very different context.

As you listen to this episode, you’ll hear about:

• How being diagnosed with ADD affected me and my relationship
• Some of the unique challenges and strengths of partners with ADD
• Tools and strategies I have used to become a better partner to my “neurotypical” husband
• How I have seen neurodiversity (including Autism Spectrum Disorder, introversion, and intensities) play out within relationships
• The importance of taking responsibility for the impact you have on the people around you

And more.

Note: I use the term “ADD” in this episode to refer to what is now categorized in the DSM as “ADHD predominantly inattentive type” because it is the term used when I was diagnosed.

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“If we can take it out of the context of "What’s wrong with you?" and really understand difference, we go a long way to having a much more mutually satisfying relationship. And this kind of insight saves marriages.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• My tendency to “go hard or go home” (4:49)
• Why boring tasks are excruciating for your partner with ADD (10:49)
• How ADD tendencies affect us in bed (12:45)
• Neurodiversity that you may notice in your relationship (13:42)

 I celebrate you and your partner exactly as you are. May you find new ways to fit ever better together.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

Quiet by Susan Cain

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If it feels like you're in a dry spell- your desires don’t match up, you’re not that interested, or it’s hard to transition from your everyday life to a really fulfilling sexual encounter, this episode is for you. Today I want to talk with you about what I think of as "nano sex." It's those little microscopic, erotic connections that create a lubricant in your day-to-day experience together to help us get to full-blown erotic encounters and get more pleasure out of our daily connection. 

As you listen to this episode, you’ll learn:

• What “nano eroticism” is and how it has benefitted me and my clients
• How creating small, ongoing erotic connections can increase your desire to have sex
• Concrete strategies I teach my private clients to help them create more turn on
• How to combine this practice with other habits for a great relationship

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“I don't think sex goes away when we get older. Sex goes away when we get busy. Sex goes away when we live with each other for a long time and learn all of each other's foibles. Sex goes away when our insecurities get projected onto a partner.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Ways to see yourself as an erotic being (6:15)
• When you think someone else is sexier than your partner (8:16)
• What is the “eyes habit”? (9:39)
• Using humor to turn yourself and your partner on (11:28)

I hope you'll decide to cultivate this practice with your partner throughout your days together and will reap the benefits of pleasure and connection. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

5 Winning Relationship Strategies Episode

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Something your partner did cause you pain and frustration. You want to tell them what hurt you, but you seem to always end up in a fight when you bring it up. Sound familiar? In this episode, I get into the specifics of how you can deliver feedback about something your partner did and what you'd like them to do differently in a way that actually gets results. Every single couple has to have these conversations, but you can develop skills that can reduce the negative fallout and even bring you closer.

As you listen to this episode, you’ll hear about:

• What NOT to do in an emotionally-charged conversation
• The steps you can use every time to have conversations that help you feel closer
• How to remember the point of these conversations when you're in the middle of it 
• Reducing the amount of residual pain that comes from messy conversations
• Why and how to take ownership of your feelings in a conversation

And more.

“That's a big part of what relationships can do for us. They give us a safe place to work out old feelings”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Why you shouldn’t “air your grievances” (3:57)
• How a laminated checklist helped my relationship (9:41)
• Why you might set a time limit on your conversations (11:08)
• The “cheap booby prize” you may be taking instead of satifaction (15:02)

 I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Related episodes of Sex.Love.Power:

Defensiveness episode

Poorly Timed Conversations episode

The 5 Winning Relationship Strategies episode

The 5 Losing Relationship Strategies episode

Terry Real’s books:

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

The Settling Down Together Checklist

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. 

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

These past few weeks have been tough on our nervous systems. Many people are hurting and bewildered. I wondered how I could best help through the podcast, and what came to me was that this popular episode, recorded with my friend Jessica Pullins, PhD, is the best set of tools I can give you to help you pull yourself and others through when your heart and mind are reeling. 

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.   

And particularly if you ever:

• Rreact strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both
• Feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day
• Freeze up and find yourself unable to speak, move forward, or interact

This intro to what's REALLY going on, and what you can do about it, can be life-changing.  It's self-care, it's relationship elevating, it's survival skills. It's good.

As you listen to this episode, you'll learn about:

• The nervous system state we must be in for connection to work, and the three other states we’re always moving in and out.
• Why stonewalling, withdrawal, or non-responsiveness in relationship aren’t always a partner being unloving or deliberately withdrawn and what’s sometimes REALLY going on instead.
• How, sometimes, what looks like depression is just a nervous system state of “freeze” and what you can do about it.

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

"If you can find strategies to get back into your body via the senses, that will get you grounded and calm. THAT'S WHAT GROUNDING IS."

- Dr. Jessica Pullins


Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Recognizing when its a state vs when it’s a trait (11:24)
• When otherwise articulate people lose the ability to speak (13:33)
• Common triggers of freeze states (16:03)
• Learning to notice freeze response by noticing it in your partner and others (27:27)

I hope you find this episode helps you see some of your own and your partner’s experiences in a refreshing new light.  I hope it helps you remember your exquisite beauty, divinity, and intrinsic aliveness.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

6. RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Self Regulation Toolkit Download

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and  my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Do you find yourself saying, "We're so busy, I feel like roommates?” Or maybe you say, "We know we need to go on dates, but we never seem to get around to it. And then if we do go, a lot of times we get into a fight." Today on Sex. Love. Power., we're talking about spending more time together. Whether that's talking, having fun, or getting naked together. We're going to cover how to recognize the resistance so you can break through those totally understandable obstacles and actually get more closeness and heat between you.

As you listen to this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why time alone together matters for your relationship in the long-term
• The reasons you don’t spend time together, even if you know you should
• How to keep alone time from turning into a conflict
• The habits that are keeping you from truly connecting and new ones you can form

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“We need to have more fun together. In order to help us resolve some of these conflicts. It's not the other way around, where we have to resolve these conflicts before we can have fun together.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen


Hot Moments in This Episode:

• The six reasons time together can be uncomfortable [5:44]
• What to do if you don’t have anything to talk about together [8:51]
• Why you are disappointed with the time you spend with your partner [13:23]
• Why you might want to start with being alone with yourself first [17:05]

I hope that you are inspired to experiment with these ideas just a little bit, and then build from there so that you can give and receive more joy or pleasure and more care.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Do you feel like you're always in charge, like you're always handling all the heavy lifting in your shared life? Or do you ever feel your partner can be so controlling or perfectionistic that you tend to hang back? Both of these situations are issues of what I call polarity - the interaction between dominance and submission (and, no, I’m not just talking about in bed). If you want to go from frustration and jockeying for position, or avoiding conflict, over to playful, effective interactions sizzling with energy, this is the episode for you. 

As you listen to this episode, you’ll learn:

• How the dynamics of dominance and submission play out in everyday life
• What can go wrong when you’re missing polarity
• The three keys to creating an arc of polarity in your relationship
• How to get more of the energy you want from yourself and your partner
• How you can tell if you’re in the dominant or submissive role

And more. 

E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“We tend to reject so many of the sensations of aliveness that arise because we put them in that box that we label ‘bad sensations.’ So tear the label off that box and follow the sensations that are arising now.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• The three mistakes nice guys make [4:16]
• How your marriage is like a pair of magnets [6:00]
• How to speak in a penetrating way [8:29]
• When your partner’s standard for you is too oppressive [10:39]

I hope that whether you are choosing to lead or to follow, you use these keys to polarity to create delicious connections and deeper love.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

I want to devote a whole episode to the topic of defensiveness: how we engender it in each other, and why we get defensive ourselves. This is one of the biggest things I see stopping couples from communicating effectively, from connecting more deeply, and from experiencing more turn-on and erotic charge in their relationships. So if you've had defensiveness on either side of the conversation, this episode is for you.

As you listen to this episode, we’ll cover:

• Reasons you get defensive- whether it’s stemming from you or from your partner
• What to do when your partner or someone else seems defensive. 
• What to do when you feel unfairly attacked or accused
• How to calm down when either of you has gotten defensive

And more. 
E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

“It's a tremendous challenge and opportunity to be fresh in today's conversation, rather than to call up that whole library of painful experiences that everybody, even in a good relationship, has over years and years together, because you're both human.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Why you should celebrate when defensiveness comes up [5:37]
• One of the best tools for dismantling defensiveness when bringing up an issue [15:25]
• Signs that your partner may be becoming defensive [17:35]
• What happens when you “throw in the kitchen sink” [26:40]

I wish for every couple listening today is to be able to talk about the most tender things, the most raw things, the deepest reactions you have to one another because those contain the gold of both your personal evolutions and the most intimate relationship that you can possibly have with each other.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Arbinger Institute books

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2: Fight or Flight

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

This week, I'm bringing back the most popular episode of the podcast for your listening pleasure.

The 12 Elements of Power framework is more relevant now than ever for for us as feminists who don't want to think about power in an essentialist sense, don't want to think that there are particular qualities that we don't have access to because that hasn't been our lived experience. What we know is that we have within us, for instance, both the capacity to be self-reliant, and the capacity to be connected. Those are two of the elements of power. And all of the elements come in pairs like this that we'll talk through today. 

In this episode, we’ll talk about :

• How Driving and Receiving are two sides of the same coin… We can only do so much “making it happen” without a commensurate capacity to “let it in.”
• Why “masculine” traits and “feminine” traits are a fallacy, even though there’s plenty of evidence for them, and what’s more true than that kind of gender essentialism
• The twelve precise capacities every human possesses and needs to master to be fully powerful in love and elsewhere in life 

Hot Moments in this episode:

• What “psychological patriarchy” is and how it affects us [7:19]
• How the 12 Elements of Power can be like bodybuilding [11:18]
• The element of power that looks the least like power, but may be the most powerful [15:06]
• Taking the elements of power into the realm of intimacy [17:15]

I hope you find this episode is just what you need to hear as you navigate your relationship in these intense times. I hope you are able to remember your exquisite beauty, divinity, and intrinsic aliveness.  And I hope you let the light within you illuminate the world around you.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.