Unstitching The Bride: Style, Rage, And A Messy Revival

Three hosts pick apart The Bride with sharp takes on feminist rage, authorship, and whether lavish style can carry a stitched-together plot. We rate acting, visuals, soundtrack, and rewatchability, and debate who this film truly serves.

• reframing the Bride of Frankenstein through autonomy and identity
• neo-noir cinematography that outshines the script
• performances from Jessie Buckley and Christian Bale under a surreal tone
• soundtrack swings, including Monster Mash, that split the room
• detective subplot versus love story balance breaking the spine
• authorship and white feminism questions around wealth and voice
• audience fit and why some viewers felt seen while others bounced
• final scores averaging to a mid-tier recommendation

“you listen to this, you can’t unlisten to it—fucking follow us places… help us out, send us around, do the things”

Transcript

Cold Open: Authority And Military Banter

SPEAKER_06 0:16

Yeah, there was a uh there was a problem with authority from the very beginning. And I uh just I kept that alive through my ten years of service, so you don't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

You know, you can make it if you have a problem with authority in the military. It's just gonna be more difficult.

SPEAKER_06 0:33

Yeah. No, and some would argue that I had a more successful career. That was I thought you were going to say I was like, how that is that a crazy statement?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

What?

Welcome To High And Dry

SPEAKER_06 0:45

I had a very successful career in the military. But anyway. Oh shit. Well, hey everybody. Welcome to High and Dry Podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North. With me as always, James Crosslin, Luke, Fowlers, and we are the only podcast keeping alive the fandom, well, of the bride, apparently, but also the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of Terriers. Um, it was a detective series back in 2010. Nothing. Was it British or no, no, no. Not to be confused with Threshold in 2005, which was British and featured a wildly young Peter Dinklage. But yeah, but yeah, just both of those spells. Both of those. Yeah, not familiar. Nothing. Terriers had a solid two seasons, I think. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yeah. I will trust. I have quite literally never heard of it at all.

SPEAKER_06 1:49

Really? Well, uh get the box set, uh, folks at home. Um, because we're gonna be talking about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Digital media. I mean, physical media is alive and well, everybody. Go out and grab, go to the go to uh, what is it, Goody, Sam Goody's, and grab your grab your two-disc box set.

Terriers Tangent And Media Ownership Riff

SPEAKER_06 2:09

Wherever digital, wherever physical media is sold, uh definitely get that physical stuff. Because as Bethesda said, that just be ready to not own the things you buy anymore in this fucking hellscape we all live in. So anyway, um, this is High and Dry Podcast. We are not going to be talking about Terriers. We may be talking about the capitalist hellscape. But what we're actually gonna be talking about is The Bride, uh, Maggie Gyllenhall's newest outing featuring Christian Bale and um I need to pull up everyone else. Jessica Buckley. Yeah, uh, where's it Jennifer or Jessica? Well, I I was a fan of her since uh I really liked her in Penny Dreadful. Um, I thought that she was she did a fantastic job, and I've seen her in a few places, so I was happy to see. What's Penny Dreadful about? So Penny Dreadful, um not to be too like not in too much detail, but I'm just curious. Well, it was just a HBO series where it took um you had a psychic demon-possessed woman uh played by Eva Green, already fantastic. Um you had uh and then she gathered together a team with werewolf, uh Dorian Gray, uh Dr. Jekyll, and they were basically in a fight with Dracula. Who was Jesse Buckley in that? So she uh became um Frankenstein's uh uh uh they did a switch on it where Frankenstein decided to turn her into the monster after she had uh uh a torrid affair with Dorian Gray.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Oh, interesting. Interesting. Yeah, no, it was pretty much familiar then with the the character.

SPEAKER_06 3:55

Well, it was a pretty wild scene. Um, she had tuberculosis, and Dorian Gray is just obsessed with Death macabre and you know trying these new things, and she coughs TB blood on him before they start fucking.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

It was I uh I was go I went through Jesse Buckley's uh IMDB page, and Penny Dreadful's not showing up in it.

SPEAKER_06 4:18

Oh, fuck me. Hold on. Did you mean Maggie Dillonall? No, no, no. Hold on. Let me this now requires. We're gonna go look. She wasn't uh a main character. And now that I think about it, she did not become the monster. She was close to the city.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

I don't think she's in it.

SPEAKER_06 4:40

God damn it. I may have somebody else here with someone else. Well, whoever was in Penny Dreadful, fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Off to a good start.

Pivot: We’re Reviewing The Bride

SPEAKER_06 4:52

But that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about this film. And so, for those of you joining us for the first time, we're gonna be breaking it down into a special three-part method guaranteed to get you the biggest results. All right, first, we're gonna dive in because we love diving, and uh, we're gonna talk uh get you a five-star rating to determine exactly where this movie sits. It's more um accurate than any other rating on the internet, bar none. All right, then we're going to get into the second part of it where we get onto the golden path, and we're gonna talk about the deeper meanings of this film, uh, you know, which I feel white feminism needs three white guys to chime in. And then finally, uh, for in that last part, we are going to insert ourselves, drugs, or alcohol into the film, and what makes it so special and fun is that we're going to be doing it drunk and high. So, boys, uh, what are you smoking this week?

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Well, I did not come prepared with the actual strain either. I just got hemp. What are you drinking while I find my answer?

Cast Talk, Penny Dreadful Mix-Up

SPEAKER_06 6:04

Well, I'm gonna be finishing. I had something real special that I've been working on. I wasn't able to bring it in. It needs another week. But next week I'll have something real special. Today I'm gonna be finishing off this uh bottle of Maker's Mark the Kingdom make noise exclamation mark.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Exclamation mark uh in honor of the bride. Exclamation mark.

SPEAKER_06 6:29

According to this, it's the Kansas City Chiefs.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Wow. Who gives a shit what the bottle says?

SPEAKER_06 6:35

No, it's it's for the bride. This is about the bride.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Listen, you don't get to tell a bottle of alcohol what its role is.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 6:45

Yeah. Yeah. This this bot, but it's it's that mustard yellow affair that they thought this was a good idea. Fucking hideous.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Yeah, no, not good.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

I have strawberry nerds.

unknown 6:57

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Or run. Sorry, strawberry runs.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Okay. Well that's wrong candy, my apologies. And it's it, I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't taste like strawberries or runs, and I'm disappointed about that.

SPEAKER_06 7:12

Yeah, you can't make promises like that and not like deliver. That just seems wrong. Well, yeah. Alright. So anyway, it is now time to get to that first shot, first toast, first hit. This one is going out to our newest listeners, um, and just a continuation of some decent listenership. So, folks at home, thank you so much for tuning in. Truly appreciate it. Love that we're getting you. But our newest listeners, these ones are coming from well, Sussex was here before, so they don't count. I remember Sussex, but apparently they've been listening a lot. So our newest listeners, these ones are going to come from God damn it. Gotta pull it up. Springfield, Massachusetts. Oh, that's Springfield. Yeah, yeah. At first I wasn't going to say, but then I I look closer in Springfield, Massachusetts. But we uh we had quite a few though. Ashburn, Virginia, uh Berlin showed up again, um all that cheers. Oh, Helsinki of Usima.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Is that Helsinki, Texas? Or Usima.

SPEAKER_06 8:34

Fantastic VPNs, guys. Fantastic VPNs.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Maybe maybe someone in Finland is listening to us. Who knows? Could be.

SPEAKER_06 8:42

Could be. Oh, we also had uh a very uh large tune-in from Chicago, Illinois. Yeah, good stuff, good stuff.

Drinks, Weed, And Listener Toasts

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Less impressive if I'm honest.

SPEAKER_06 8:55

Yeah, well, second toast, second shot, line them up, fellas. Oh, they're ready. This one huh? Oh, they're ready. Oh, they're ready. You're good to go. Uh this one, uh well yeah with this one. Let's go out to uh anti-authoritarianism.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Anti-authoritarianism. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_06 9:22

God and the startling ability for me to put these shots down. I have been cutting back. I've I have been cutting back.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

So that's good. It's good to uh enjoy in moderation.

SPEAKER_06 9:36

Exactly. That's what I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Like while you're driving to work. Exactly. Exactly. Right before a meeting.

SPEAKER_06 9:44

Well, it loosens you up. You know, so I'm ready to piggyback. All right, it's time for this final toast, final shot, final hit. This one goes out to our film this week. Ladies and gentlemen, the bride. The bride.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_06 10:11

I am I'm seeing that uh the three of us may have been the only ones in the theaters this past weekend to see the bride. Did it do that poorly? It did very poorly.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

There were people in my theater. It wasn't full, but there were people there.

SPEAKER_06 10:33

Well, uh as far as these reports, but you know how these things get so that everything's sensational, you know, especially when a movie's trying to make a statement. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

It uh this movie was definitely trying to make a statement. Like Yes. Probably beginning. They're like, here's a statement. And then the movie started.

SPEAKER_06 10:56

No, and I definitely have a lot to say about just statements. Um, but that's a golden path topic. But yeah, no, I I did check real quick and it is flopping.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

It did not do very well in its release.

SPEAKER_06 11:13

Yeah, it is it is a it is a flop, but it doesn't always mean everything.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

So let's let's the budget was it was$80 million.

SPEAKER_06 11:23

Well, you know, it doesn't always doesn't always mean everything.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

As like for example, uh seeing here deadline is saying that said that that the movie could lose$90 million once you account for like advertising and all that. Gotcha dang.

SPEAKER_06 11:39

Which I am sad just because I do like Jesse Buckley. Um, and I was happy with it.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

But you're not sure where from. I I looked wherever she's from, you like her.

SPEAKER_06 11:51

Well, I liked her in Romey and Juliet, uh Scrooge, Doolittle. So I I there was a few things. My brain just went straight to Penny Dreadful, which I really like, but I was confusing her with someone else. So these things happen. Men was also really good.

Box Office Flop And First Impressions

SPEAKER_02 12:07

I didn't see that one, but I heard it was good. I'm thinking of ending things. That was certainly uh a Jesse Plemens. I saw that in COVID. I'm sorry. Depressing one, mind-bending depression.

SPEAKER_06 12:24

Yeah. But no, I think she's very talented. Well, well, let's get into it. So um let's let's rate this thing. Uh, Luke, did you want to kick this bad boy off? Uh sure. Well, do you well who wants to give the synopsis?

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Uh I can give the synopsis. So the if you haven't been able to gather the bride is about um the bride of Frankenstein.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Um story that's been told many times. Not that she would say that. Not that she would say that. Because, you know, as the title gives, this is emphasis on the bride. And yeah, it's kind of a story. When I saw the the preview, uh, it gave me kind of like a almost like a I thought it was gonna be like more of a mafia movie for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

I don't know if that was just me that gathered it from the preview. Um, but it was not. Like I just thought it'd be more New York. You're something like Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just what I again I was like, that's just something I I gathered from the the previews. And then uh and Christian, it's starring Christian Bale and Jesse Jesse Buckley.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Um Jake Dylan Hall's in it as well, but I don't feel like he's kind of like a main character. Um he was in it more than I expected. Yeah, he was. I thought it was gonna be less. I like that was gonna be less. We hoped it was gonna be less. I love me some Jake, you know, but every once in a while, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, it's nepotism. His he's uh he has a relationship with the director. Yeah. They fought it.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Yeah, and it and it's a story of a uh woman who's basically reinvigorated and finding herself as a woman and trying to find her her name. And that's essentially the the synopsis of the movie.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

So with that said, who wants to start their ratings? I feel like Ryan, you've got you're excited for this one. Okay, alright. I I want to hear.

Quick Synopsis Of The Bride

SPEAKER_06 14:16

Well, like as you like for my ratings, I'm I'm just gonna I'm gonna shoot them out here. Um because I I'm always excited to get to part two. But uh for me, acting, I mean uh like for just just Jesse Buckley, I'm excited to see her in that, and it I'm really upset that it's flopping because I do like Christian Bale, obviously, love him or hate him. He's a great thesby actor. He's an actor. You know, he's he's he Edward Norton all over that thing.

SPEAKER_04 14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:50

So, you know, uh Jake Gyllenhaal always knows how to like he knows his fucking job. Like it yeah, this was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

This is Prince of Persia for fuck's sake. Come on.

SPEAKER_06 15:00

Yeah, right, right. I I feel I feel like he should have had a little bit more sense when he took that particular role. Like, god damn. I don't know what agent was blowing smoke up his ass so fucking hard that he thought that that was appropriate, but whatever. Uh I guess we all have to make a living. And I guess he they were they were getting ready to shut his heat off or something.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

But uh there was a time when he would take pretty much anything, but he's become a uh he's become a like a prestige actor over the course of his career.

SPEAKER_06 15:38

Yeah. Yeah. And and say what you want about Roadhouse. It's a fun movie. It's fun. It's fun and has some good cinema. But anyway, you could go watch our listen to our episode of Roadhouse.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

But uh Yeah, we rated it pretty well.

SPEAKER_06 15:53

Yeah. But yeah, no, uh, everyone brought it. Um, everyone brought it. So um except maybe except maybe Penelope Cruz.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Um Well, she could get it, but I don't know if she brought it.

SPEAKER_06 16:08

I don't know. I don't think she brought it. I I don't think Penelope brought it. Uh I don't think Penelope brought it. What was her role?

SPEAKER_02 16:15

She was the the detective assistant. Yeah, Malloy.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

unknown 16:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

But really the brains of the operation, yeah.

Acting: Buckley, Bale, Gyllenhaal

SPEAKER_06 16:26

Yeah, and it it was weird. It it was like um, do you remember the new knives out movie where they put Mila Kunis as the cop? Yeah. That's what it felt like. That's what that's what that felt like. Um so you had a lot of competent people in here, and they thought that that was just gonna bring it, but it wasn't across the board, you know. The the this so I'm gonna give it uh I'm gonna give it a four. I'm gonna give it a four. Cinematography, I really enjoyed. Uh I liked this neo-noir thing that was going on. I felt sometimes it was jarring um when they when they dove into uh especially the Bonnie and Clyde kind of feel. Um there there were times when it was like it didn't quite know what it wanted to be.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

That might be more of a plot issue than a cinematography issue.

SPEAKER_06 17:21

You might be right. Um, but cinematography was done very competently. Um, it was definitely uh enthralling, it was a gorgeous watch. Um, so I'm gonna I'm gonna give uh cinematography 4.5.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

Score. I think anything that puts the monster mash in anything deserves a lower rating.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

Higher rating.

Cinematography: Neo-Noir Aesthetic

SPEAKER_06 17:45

However, yeah, higher rating. It was appropriately used. Um I and I especially liked uh I especially like the use of everything in that in that final scene where they're taking hands and everything like that. And I appreciated that. Monster Mish, just for me personally, I fucking hate it there.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Is there any way we can up the range on this category to six for today?

SPEAKER_04 18:14

So we can accommodate the monster mash.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

It had a and it was low before the end of the movie. I was I was going into the end like, oh, it was fine. And then Monster Mash played?

SPEAKER_06 18:27

But like we we always say that I don't remember the score. I did remember the score.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

I'll be playing the score every year.

SPEAKER_06 18:37

Oh, well, that's the rewatchability. We're not there yet. So for that, I give it a 3.5 because I do remember the score. But it also fucking grated on my ears. Story and plot here, it I I felt that it didn't know it was confused.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Like they like you said, it was like it was it it it didn't know what it wanted to be. Yeah, it was it was a bunch of smash cuts. You know, the the the uh the problem the metaphor of being stitched together kind of comes to mind.

Soundtrack Debate And Monster Mash

SPEAKER_06 19:16

And I think the problem is is that is is god damn the stories that we get now that are trying to say things, they're being told by the wrong fucking people. Maggie Gyllenhall is insulated from a lot of these issues. And and so when when I s when I see these things come out, and and like it's these it's just fucking rich people trying to make statements and tell us how things should be, it's like go fuck yourself. Who are you? You have no idea anymore what we go through, uh, what women go through, what what like you have no idea. You are insulated from the issue. And like we just did that one with Keanu Reeves and Seth Rogan, right in Azizan Sorry. It's like, and that that drove me crazy because like you guys don't know what this is.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Yeah, like the like Seth Rogan's life probably is a lot of moving between a cold, yeah, cold plunge and a hot hot spot.

Plot Confusion And Thematic Aims

SPEAKER_06 20:23

Yeah, it's like you guys don't fucking know what this is, and Maggie Gyllenhall, neither do you. Um and I think that's where it loses it, and I think that's where this fucking culture we're in of industry and everything like that masquerading as art takes a hit. And so for that, there's just for the confusion of it and everything like that, I give the plot a two. I've seen Frankenstein before. And then rewatchability. I'll ri I'll watch it again when it comes out on streaming. And so for that uh rewatchability, I'm gonna give uh I'm not gonna watch it again after that, though. So I'm gonna give rewatchability another two.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Seems fair to me. You were generous compared to my opinions on this.

SPEAKER_06 21:13

I'm excited. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Okay, I'm gonna go in the middle then, because I think I'm in the middle. So the or probably honestly, maybe even more generous. So for the acting, I actually found the acting pretty good between I think the leads really held it together, and obviously they're like a main focal point within the story.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

I think most of the this discourteous, like the the majority of the problem with the movie lies within the story. And and at the end of the day, the actors are delivering whatever story is provided to them. Um because I think Jesse Buckley did a good good job between the two characters that she was doing. I thought that was really solidly done. Um, I like Christian Bale personally. I I do. I like him in in the roles that he's played. I think that in some movies where they they're not overall good, he is a standout of still being a decent role in within the movie.

SPEAKER_06 22:13

Well, I hear that he's worked. We're gaining 10,000 pounds for Dune 4. So I decided.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

So yeah, he's I I do like him, and I think he did a he he did a good job in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Um I didn't like the Frankenstein that was kind of like given to us, but I don't think I think that that wasn't him. I don't know. He didn't feel monstrous to me.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

And I feel like But they had that scene in the alley. Yeah, and I mean don't get me wrong, that was like that was like pretty cool, gruesome. Like it was it was like a oh god, like pretty well shot in that sense. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. Like you're you're definitely gonna and most people would do that in the same situation, so they're like, Yeah, me too. It's like he's not really and maybe that's what they were going for. Like he's not really a monster, neither is she, kind of thing. Well, that's what Frankenstein's about. Is that he's not really a monster. Oh, like the yeah, the original Frankenstein story is he's not really a monster, he's just a creature. He's he's a guy, he's like a really smart guy. Is he? Well, no, not Dr. Frankenstein. I'm talking about No, no, the monster the Frankenstein's creation, yeah. Yeah, it's like yeah, he's a few. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Yeah. Oh, that's pretty cool. Okay, well, you know, then that's pretty cool. Uh a cool part of it. I didn't know that. It's worth a read. But um, but yeah.

Second Host’s Scores And Expectations

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Um uh either way, I found that in the rest of the cast I felt like did a decent, like a good, a good job. So I also did give it a four. The cinematography I gave a four just because uh there it it was a little drawing at times. I felt like there was sometimes almost it felt too too much with like cuts, you said, like there was like a lot of different scenes going back, and I just did not enjoy that, and I felt like it brought it down quite a bit. So I gave it a four. The score and soundtrack, um, I I I give a 3.5. I mean, it's it is like I there were really good points in it, and I found like there was good I felt I remember like a couple orchestra style like um um background background um noise, but other than that, that was it and then Monster Mash, and I was like, oh sick.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

And that the reason it gets a two, three, that's a 1.5 points for Monster Mash, by the way. Just so you guys can say that's one point for so that's a 3.5. The story plot is the worst part of the movie, in my opinion. Now, yeah, I want to say that um my fiance Cam loved this movie.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Like, she comes out five out of five. She did bring it down, but she really liked it. And I think it does like probably touch a point, like it's obviously very she said it was literally like about the feminine rage, is quote unquote what she said.

unknown 25:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Well, yeah, I thought it was pretty blatantly about that. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, we'll get into that a little bit in the golden path. But um, she she really, really liked it, and I I got where she was coming from, and I feel like that does bring up the score for it. Um, but it still is just so chaotic. Like, I feel like the detectives were just like a side thought almost the entire movie.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

It was like not my favorite, not my favorite point. Uh like, and I like I would have liked to under have a more well-rounded story of it. And if I felt like it wasn't enough of a back and forth detect like tile style detective movie, it was like this detective movie on the side with a love story. And I I love a love story, I love a detective movie, but it just was not finding a good balance between the two. Um and it felt chaotic, in my opinion. There was like no balance between those. So I did give it a three. And then the rewatchable, I I mean, personally would not watch it again.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

But I guess like because I guess Cam would probably put it on.

SPEAKER_06 26:27

Oh, you're gonna watch it again because if you're gonna, you're gonna.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

But like she probably wouldn't watch it with me, and if she did, it would be like because I'm just laying there and I'm I'm doing something else. I'll give it one point that one point.

SPEAKER_06 26:40

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

All right, that's half attention watch side on the side. That's a one point. But yeah, it was it was, and again, I really wanted I was excited for this movie. Um really, yeah, I was.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

I I don't know. It looked good. I like uh I like like I said, I thought I I thought it was a mafia movie. I was like, Frank Frank Frankenstein's creatures in a mafia movie? Fucking that would have been that would have been cool.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

It was sick as fuck. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 27:06

That would have been cool. Well, I also watched Scream this this weekend. Oh sorry. That sucked. Yeah, I can't. Of course it did.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

No, no movie with a with a seven after its title is gonna be a good movie.

SPEAKER_06 27:23

Yeah, there's a bonus rating, bonus rating for you folks at home. Scream seven, uh 1.5 out of five. Uh like it's trash.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Wow. And that's uh that's one of the lowest yet.

SPEAKER_06 27:39

It's it's fucking trash.

Third Host’s Scores And Style Disconnect

Average Rating And Why It Landed There

SPEAKER_02 27:42

So on just like the first one was. I can tell you personally that I do not like mafia movies. Like I don't get excited for a for a mafia movie or they make you want to shower. They I just feel tired about it. Like, there's so much fucking media about this one specific period of time glorifying this one specific group of and actions of people, and I've become less excited about violence as time has gone on. It doesn't appeal to me that much, and so I really wasn't looking forward to this movie. Not that this movie ended up being a mob movie, or there were certainly some violence in the movie, but the movie wasn't all violence or whatever. It was not about that at all. But it's so so it wasn't it, so it didn't uh meet the expectation expectations that I wasn't looking forward to. Uh, but I also still didn't really like this movie very much. I uh I thought that the acting was so of course the acting was supposed to be hammy, like like over over the top, in my opinion. Did you guys get that? Or was it yeah, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be like surreal. And they did a good job of of being surreal, but it but when you do when you do that kind of thing, it has to connect with you, and I don't really feel like it ever connected with me because it also relies a lot on aesthetic, and the aesthetic didn't really speak to me. Where I think someone like Cam who really enjoyed this movie was like, yeah, fucking go. Like they really loved the aesthetic. Yeah, yeah. I a hundred percent agree. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly and uh that's why I like I also was like, Oh, I get where why you're I told her I was like, I get why you like that. Yeah, it definitely because I just didn't feel like that appealed on my, you know, to me as much. Yeah, like I I'm okay with a noir movie, like I like a Noir movie. Sometimes it appeals to me, sometimes it doesn't, but this the style the style just didn't really appeal to me. And so the acting didn't really connect with me. So I'm I'm gonna give the acting a 3.5. Um the cinematography I thought was really good. I think that Maggie Gyllenhaal as a director, I don't know who I actually don't know who the director of photography is for the bride. Let me look that up. But I thought like the I thought that the uh shots were excellent. Uh Lawrence Scher is the is the uh uh cinematographer, and they were also the cinematographer on Joker and Joker folia do. That makes sense. It does make sense because the shots were all really similar. Yeah, they really were. But it's all about aesthetic, right? It's all about style, and and like that was the crux of the the movie to me really, really, really, really heavily leaned on it. And it was a good aspect of the movie. I'm gonna give it a 4.5 for cinematography. I thought it was really I thought there were some excellent shots. Um, and they did a lot of speaking with the camera, and it just the rest it just yeah, they did a good job with that.

SPEAKER_06 31:02

Yeah, no, and I I I got some things to say about that. Just about map Maggie Gyllenhall brand, white feminism. Um we'll get there.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah. Uh soundtrack 3.0. Uh, there were parts that I liked and parts that I didn't that I felt took me out a little bit. Whatever. You know, soundtrack is subjective. The plot, man, it was really all over the place. And by the end of the movie, I was I was like, God, can this fucking thing be over? Because it felt like it felt like we were going from it felt like a really long series of fetch quests, kind of, you know, move from this place, do this, this place, do this, this place, do this. And it kind of reminded me of how I felt with nobody to, where by the end of it, I was just like laying in my chair, and I was just like, can please we've can we just fucking end this. We don't need another thing, let's just end it. We're good. And uh, and so I'm gonna give it a two for plot and rewatchability 1.5. I don't feel like maybe I'll rewatch it to look to to see some of the cinematography and blocking again, which I thought was really good. Um, but other than that, I'm not really interested. Um, and it really sucks because I I do totally agree with the idea of you know radical feminism and anti-authoritarianism and all of these uh all of these uh concepts and themes that the movie uh you know really wanted to put out there. I just didn't think it was an excellent, I just didn't think it was a very good movie.

SPEAKER_06 32:45

Exactly. Which sucks sucks because it's coming from the wrong source, it's coming from the wrong fucking source.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Even if it was coming from the right source, you can do it executed well from the wrong source, you know. It's all about execution, it's all about connection, it's all about you know bringing you into the movie. And it just didn't work for me. I always want to change my scores. Don't change your scores, just leave them. It's what you felt.

SPEAKER_06 33:13

Two's across minus one for Monster Mesh.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

How fucking do you all right? What do we got, Luke? Uh that gives it a total score of a three out of five, which I'm actually kind of surprised about.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

But it is uh it's pretty fair. It's actually also what like that's uh like agreed upon the internet.

SPEAKER_06 33:37

That's pretty much it, and we don't always agree with the other ones, but on this occasion we might be in but I think the reason why we agree is gonna be a little different.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Perchance. I don't know, maybe there's other smart people on the internet, I've heard.

Golden Path: Feminism, Subtext, And Execution

SPEAKER_06 33:53

I disagree, but let's find out. It's time now, boys, to line up that additional shot toast hit. Oh, oh, oh, oh shit. He's gone. Alright, well, this one goes out to uh well, we're gonna figure that out that out in this next little portion here. So cheers, boys. Cheers. I'm doing these now with a with an empty stomach. Why? Just the way the timing lines up. It's gonna be different here pretty soon, but um my living situation, it's it's bizarre. Um high and dry is still waiting to I'm still waiting on the check. You know, to hold breath. Hey. We have a we have uh we're starting to gain a very natural followership followership in Helsinki, so I'm I'm excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Yeah. Uh Finns, uh do your thing. Do what it is you that you do. Um defend yourself from Russia and do all those things. Do all those things. Smoke some smoke some tiny fish, can them, save them for winter.

SPEAKER_06 35:15

And love high and dry. You know, especially when those 24-hour nights come. What what else do you have to keep you warm in movie review world? Alright. Well, so now that we've alienated the Swedes, um Finn Finland. Now that we further now that we further alienated them, it is time to get on to the second portion. It is time to get into the golden path. It is time to tread this road. Let's talk about some deeper meanings of this film. Fellas, uh, what was deep about this movie? Everything was right on the surface.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

It like shouted it in your face from the beginning, and every step of the way through, it told you exactly exactly it told it had no subtext.

SPEAKER_06 36:11

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

You know, and something I was pretty disappointed in is the fact that like obviously it is, you know, very in your face a feminism movie, which is um, like I said, I'm not I'm not against against that. However, I'm for it. Yeah, I'm for it even. For it. But uh, it definitely was so chaotic that it took it took away from the plot, and I hated that at the end she ends up staying with Frankenstein's creature because or Frankie because he that's what he took his name. Dude, he was manipulating you that whole time. Yeah, like he was a piece of shit. He was a piece of shit to you. You should definitely have not just been with him. Like, that's not okay. And I felt like it sent the raw, like a reverse of what they were the message they were trying to send the entire movie, and I did not like that. I was like, what the fuck? For real. Yeah, it was in your face.

SPEAKER_06 37:03

And I think that's just indicative of this, you know, Maggie Gyllenhaal style white feminism that uh you you got a director that's insulated from the problems that she's trying to describe. You you got um and then then just like And that's not to say that there's not sexism in Hollywood.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

There's totally sexism in Hollywood in the state.

Audience Fit: Who This Movie Resonates With

SPEAKER_06 37:28

There is, without a doubt. But it just comes from these powerful, like it comes from these powerful people who feel they suddenly have something to say, and it reaches a point where it just feels like you're cashing in.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Well, she's not. I don't think there's I don't think there's much cash.

SPEAKER_06 37:49

But um, but like we're seeing uh, you know, I I feel it's it was very similar, like recently we had uh Chappelle Rowan say that um all men's art is trash, or you know, to paraphrase. And it was just very white feminism jabbing. There was no there was no commentary, there was no constructive criticism, there was nothing actionable. All it was was just jabbing. It's just I'm insulated from these problems, I'm angry, I'm white, and there it is.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Well, aggression isn't limited to white people. Like it's it's just it's just aggression, it's just catharsis.

SPEAKER_06 38:37

Then that's what that's what it comes off as. And that's what this movie came off as to me was like it didn't feel nothing here's real. Um, but however, I mean Luke is telling me that his fiance was moved by it. So maybe that you know argues we're not the audience. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

I don't think we're the audience.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Um, and I think that's why at the end of the day, it's getting kind of that middle of the road rating as well throughout. It's kind of like, you know, I'm sure there are some people who are getting it. Is it along gender lines? That's what you think. Potentially. Like, I think that there's men also who would, you know, feel you know very empathetic and like very moved by this potentially. Um, but I just don't think everybody will.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

And I think that the same for women, there's gonna be women who didn't want to move by it. They're kind of like, no, that's not how I feel.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

That's bullshit. Like, you know, but I think that there are gonna be people who are like, yes, that I feel that angry there. People who are, you know, bottle things up inside, and I, you know, I think that's where you're kind of like, uh, you might resonate with it.

White Feminism, Wealth, And Authenticity

SPEAKER_06 39:43

Yeah. No, and I and I think that that's there. I I think it's just it it comes down to the wrong messenger giving a less than authentic side of it. And you know, I think this is an important issue, but I think there are other people who would have something better to say.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

And, you know, sure. Sure, there are other people who would have better things to say. In this movie's defense, maybe not enough people are saying them. And so it fall, and so it falls to Maggie Gyllenhaal, who feels like she has she has to. That's that someone should be saying it and she has the power to say it. Um but I would say that in defense of the movie, but there are other movies, you know, by uh by other directors that capture this kind of theme pretty well. You mentioned men before. Um Blink Twice is another recent film that is in that captures the kind of like uh the struggles of men who uh you know feel like they own women and and don't treat them like human beings and you know are almost second thoughts, but to be but but things to be used for their for their own gains. Like that there are really good movies out there that you know tackle these issues.

SPEAKER_06 41:17

Exactly. And but but just uh being able to attach Christian Bale and Maggie Gyllenhall to a thing and echoing that message just it comes off as hollow.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

Yeah. Yeah, well, it certainly it certainly didn't resonate. Yeah, exactly. It certainly doesn't didn't resonate. I'm glad it resonated for Cam. Uh Cher didn't see this with me, so I don't know how it would resonate with her. But we're usually uh we're usually on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

Cam and I usually decently on the same page though, too.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

But there are times where I've had conversations with my wife where she's like, you know, it makes sense that you wouldn't get this. And then we sit down and have a talk about it. There was one thing I remember in our relationship from a few years ago, there was um there were some DJs, uh some a group of female DJs who created their own independent like um D product production company. And they were like, We actually don't want any involvement from any men. And I was like, that doesn't make any sense to not have like they've had men come to them who who like have star power that they could leverage to to increase their success and reach. And she's like, No, you don't understand that once you start doing that, they have leverage, they get leverage too, and it diminishes the ability the the ability of independence. I mean high and dry is always right.

SPEAKER_06 43:08

I'm not saying high and dry is not always right, but I'm also not I'm not I felt like we were pretty like solid on where we all stood. I mean but also I agree with everything you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

We don't we don't all have the may we we're not the we may not necessarily be the audience that uh this is intended for.

Broader Culture: Power, Anger, And Art

SPEAKER_06 43:33

Well then then just coming from I'm not the audience, and I think this is hollow. Like Maggie, you've reached a point where you're not a woman, you're a rich person, and I hope you die in a fire. Wow, Jesus Christ, yeah. Wow. Um that's where I'm at right now. We like my society, the society that I'm dealing with right now, is run by rich pedophiles. I have no interest. I have no interest in your opinion anymore. I am done, I am over it, I am finished, and I don't care what you have to say. If you're rich and you have power in the industry, I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

But then what are the movies are supposed to be about? They're all rich. What do you want them to be about?

SPEAKER_02 44:25

We've got uh They're Going to Kill You. That's coming out. And then we've got uh what's the what's the see what's the other sequel? The the one with Samara Weaving. I'm excited for that.

SPEAKER_06 44:38

I I love the name of that movie. The Ready or Not.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

Ready or not too yes. I've watched Ready or not that's what movies are going to be about movies are just gonna be about killing rich people right kill those rich people. I've watched Ready or not one easily 20 times easily like if you told me yo you've watched this movie 40 times I'd be like oh really it was that high okay that that that tracks though yeah that tracks yeah that tracks I think I've shown it to so many people I feel like I have not seen that that's the kind of aesthetic thing we're talking about though that's the kind of aesthetic thing we're talking about though like you would uh you would uh think the movie you would give a higher you would have a higher opinion of a movie if it focused on those specific themes that resonate with you more I 100% agree well I just I feel that I I feel we have a lot we have a lot of social sexual racial uh divides and things that we have to fix but we can't fix them until we get rid of the rich people that are propagating them so like there is a disparity like there are so many disparities there are so many things that we have to fix and I agree with all of them I agree with what Maggie Gillenhall is saying.

SPEAKER_06 46:07

I agree with those things but the real the the problem that we have to clear out first are these rich motherfuckers that keep feeding us these problems so we stop concentrating on them.

SPEAKER_02 46:24

Well Jesse Buckley would have to die too that's the thing is like there's a lot of rich people out there.

SPEAKER_06 46:29

It's like fucking eggs got a crack it is what it is. Like I'm sorry I'm sorry. Shakira like I and I'm I'm gonna feel for you guys as I put you up against the wall I really am. And it's gonna hurt me to do this but I'm gonna do it. So we could start dealing with this real fucking shit. And because we have a lot we gotta work on but the first thing that's gotta go is these rich people.

Insert Ourselves: Rewriting The Movie

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Today I watched a video of one of Trump's fucking nieces uh posting on YouTube about taking her secret service detail out to go get a coffee while children I in Iran are dying you know it it was the biggest let them eat cake shit I've ever goddamn seen to uh an empirically greater number that the fucking people of you know 1776 didn't fucking see it it this is insane so like I appreciate the message that's being saying but uh we gotta deal with the real problem first and that is these rich fucking people who feed us these social issues to ignore them well I think I know how Ryan would change the movie yeah you probably wonder sorry sorry I haven't eaten and I had some alcohol but yeah I'm not a flight risk or anything so move on to our next segment so it's time to jump now into our next segment it is time to insert ourselves drugs or alcohol into this movie fellas how does it change what happens what goes down I I do not know do not start with me please okay all right well sure I'll start all right yeah uh so I would obviously be the character that I most resonate with who is of course the bride but obviously but the bride comes back looking just like me and so I have Christian bale doing all of this like protecting and like nervous looking and tryharding to keep to to protect me when all of these uh you know uh powerful men put their hands on me and and make passes at me and uh so many powerful hands I wear the hell out of that dress and while I'm dancing I fucking kill it but yeah it's just the it's just the movie it's just the movie except it's me it's the run do you have the uh the lipstick thing going on oh sure sure absolutely I uh I add a little bit of extra to do like a Rorschach test on my cheek okay I like that I like that all right very nice so men see themselves in your cheek yeah yeah yeah it's a potato like I see a potato wait a minute wait a minute am I about to bang this 6'1 dude in your cheese he's got a beard whoa where am I the the hand seat me's like oh the beard hairs feel terrible like that's why he pushed her pushed them off I'm a monster scratchy all right all right um well Luke I imagine you still uh you still need a moment yeah just a moment if you have yours yeah for me yeah it would turn into a super meta piece where me as Christian Bale I guess it's just in a a friend's relationship with James um no no no you love me and you want me obviously uh I'm I'm gonna treat him like uh like a fucking human being uh and less of a prot and I'm gonna I'm gonna earn I'm gonna earn that scene at the end where uh you know I'm gonna earn it you know and then together Mrs.

SPEAKER_06 50:53

Frankenstein like hey you could take your own last name I'll I'll I'll be uh Mr you know Crosslin it's fine or you know Mr.

SPEAKER_05 51:04

the Bride I'll be Mr. Bride uh Mr. the Bride yeah I'll be Mr.

SPEAKER_06 51:08

the Bride uh Frankie the Bride it my sole condition being that we now turn our rage on the rich director and her rich brother and you know we So you're not changing the film you're just gonna do offset shit during the film production you're gonna see like the camera get knocked over you're gonna hear screams this is gonna drastically change this movie yeah it's gonna be super meta yeah and uh yeah me and uh you know me and James are gonna hand in hand I'm gonna take his name you know because I'm progressive and uh I'm going to exact my revenge on the people behind the camera and I'm like all right you want to live this you you want to say this you're gonna live it then and uh yeah yeah that's what's gonna happen interesting okay it it's gonna be uh it's gonna be a wild gay rom I I would like to be Ronnie Reed and and instead of me being all confused when Frankie comes up to me to to you know be like you remember me from the I would I would remember him because you know I would remember everyone I worked with and I would just be right instead of me being remembered as a piece of shit in the movie I'd be remembered as that great guy um and I'd take some people who always remembers his associates and Frankie would actually have a great night with me that night I'd be like this is my friend Frankie you guys want to party with him and you know you want to party with him yeah I love how Chicago was New York.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

I don't know he was in New York at this point when I wasn't he I'm pretty sure he was in New York when he met that dude pretty sure anyways doesn't matter but yeah yeah yeah my this is my interpretation of Ronnie Reed how dare yes yeah so but yeah Chicagoans are just New Yorkers but in the Midwest exactly so yeah no he uh I would definitely be Ronnie Reed and I'd remember him and it would just be that instead of it being like a dark scene it'd be a really like bright and happy there'd be an awesome song soundtrack of us like and a compilation of us getting hammered and that's it.

Final Verdict, Comparisons, And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_06 53:29

Alright well I honestly I feel all of those things uh together especially in tandem uh would make this a a film that they talk about for a while no no doubt certainly a 3.5 yes or potentially 2.5 yeah yes it would earn that ranking with no doubt um like hey you want to make a statement here's a fucking statement so I don't know what it is exactly but that's for the scholars a hundred years from now when they find this in the rubble of what was once America so well uh there you have folks The Bride ta da uh uh uh it was a movie it was certainly a movie it was it was a movie it was a movie uh better than screen better than scream oh I'm certain yeah it was better than scream uh it's not the lowest rated movie on our podcast that's for sure yeah that wasn't no rebel moon like it's like I said I I think they did bring some like the some good cast and I think you know at the end of the day um they just lost it in their their their message good just sloppy execution and I feel like you know at the end of the day um it still was a decent movie I didn't I I'm not like damn it I hate that I went to see that in the theme okay yeah and I guess worth my movie pass screens god I can't wait till that makes it where I am or where I make it to where that is the movie the movie pass changes the game I miss it I miss it I once lived in civilization I no longer do but well yeah yeah there you have it folks uh the bride it was better than Scream 7 but I don't know what that says also just about claim Christian Bale I love you well that that's just between Luke and Christian Bale they've um you've heard it here first they have been seeing each other uh I have Tom kissed him we'll see what happens from there we'll see in Dune four when he gains that 1000 pounds to be Leto the second so um I'm your host Ryan Baron North with me as always James Crosslin Luke you listen to this you can't unlisten to it fucking follow us places if you've been listening this long help us out send us around do the things that's about as far as I'm willing to advertise anti-authoritarianism you know the deal all right you walk into a room and your friends that are there go I'm listening to a podcast like we know you do like Jesus Christ we're so goddamn fringe and you're listening to us I know you're that guy just do the rest of it thank you please god damn it all right fucking bye bye bye bye