High n' Dry Podcast
Hosted by Ryan Baron North, James Crosslin, and Luke, High n' Dry tackles film and philosophy with their patented 3-part method. What makes them so special and fun? One of them is drunk, and the other two are really, really high. Welcome to a drunken chat at 3 in the morning with your best buds. Come talk movies and philosophy, and get wasted along the way. New episodes every other week! Music by AlexGrohl @ Pixabay
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High n' Dry Podcast
"The Princess Bride" Rewatch Verdict
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We rewatch The Princess Bride as adults and rate it across acting, cinematography, score, plot, and rewatchability, then argue our way to a definitive 4.5 out of 5. Along the way we get into what makes the movie feel so alive, why modern media often feels soulless, and how money and AI can crush the point of making art.
• Our three-part method for reviewing a movie while drinking
• Quick plot recap and why the framing device works
• Acting highs and lows from Elwes to Shawn to Andre
• Cinematography that feels like a storybook on purpose
• Mark Knopfler’s score and why it sticks
• Plot twists, quotable dialogue, and why it never feels old
• Rewatchability as the real “classic” metric
• Westley’s harsh lines and how to read them now
• Earnestness, low budgets, and the kind of craft money cannot buy
• Dropping ourselves into the film and turning it into a background gag
Summer Weather And Catching Up
SPEAKER_04I was uh I I haven't watched it in a while. And uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_00But you did watch it again recently, right? Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I I watched it again. I watched it again. But but I we'll get into it. But this is the first time I had a full serious viewing of the movie. Like I've I've seen it a hundred times, it's been on all the time, but I've never actually watched it.
SPEAKER_00You know? So I'll be yeah, as an adult, uh it hits differently.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, I I'm I'm curious to see how it goes. So this one, this one should be fun. So hey everybody. Welcome to High and Dry Podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Barron North with me as always, James Crosslin. James, how's it going? It's going good.
SPEAKER_00So it's officially summer here in San Diego. June gloom is over. It's hot.
SPEAKER_04Oh, is it just hot there? Yeah, I because I when uh when I was there, what what time of year was that?
SPEAKER_00Uh I don't know. I think it was like May-ish. It was overcast, right? Okay.
SPEAKER_04So, alright. So I hadn't reached boiling lava hot yet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was it was mostly overcast, right? Yeah. That's we went to the we went to the beach area and it was like very overcast, yeah.
unknownYeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh, well, that's nice. That's nice.
SPEAKER_00It's usually it's usually that, like most of the year. And then just for a few months, for a couple months there it gets hot. Okay. The sun the sun feels particularly hot even though the temperature isn't very high.
SPEAKER_04Gotcha. Yeah, no, and uh yeah, we've just reached swamp around here, and the the tapes are in full bloom. And uh everyone's losing the ability to eat red meat, so I'm not alone.
Alpha-Gal And The No-Red-Meat Life
SPEAKER_04Damn. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's turning into an actual fucking situation here. It used to be everyone had a friend of a friend who had Alpha Gal. Now it's everyone has a friend who has Alpha Gal. Jeez. It fucking sucks. I haven't had a hamburger in a year.
SPEAKER_00I'm so sorry, man. Have you been do you do tests regularly?
SPEAKER_04So I get to test once a year, um, is what they do. And then apparently there's some experimental treatment. Uh acupuncture, electro shock, something in the ear is and you're gonna do it, right? Yeah, oh yeah. I'm I'm I'm I'm rolling I'm rolling them dice. This buck is I am so sick of chicken. I am so sick of chicken.
SPEAKER_00Have you tried fish?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Sick of that too. I'm sick of that too. Uh no, actually, I haven't. We don't have it around here. You think we would, but uh no. Alligator? No. I love alligator. But no, not around here either. That would have been awesome. I could I could kill for some alligator. Well, hey, everybody. Welcome to I and Dry. Um we're the only podcast that's keeping alive the fandom of Assey McGee.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I remember that from uh from Comedy Central, where it was just a dude with an ass for a face.
Assy McGee And Rotten Tomatoes Rant
SPEAKER_04It was just an it was just uh anthropomorphic ass that ran around solving crime. It was some of the dumbest shit ever. But you know how I know um Rotten Tomatoes is trash and why true movie reviewers come to us is because they gave Assey McGee a hundred percent. Rotten Tomatoes There's no way Rotten Tomatoes has Assy McGee at a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_00There's no way.
SPEAKER_04I'm looking at it right now.
SPEAKER_00No, well, no, no, I'm saying that there's no way it's that there's no way it's a hundred percent good. There's no way one hundred percent of people believe that it's good.
SPEAKER_04No, so I I don't know who's yeah, I don't know who was fucking brising. Apparently, and we all just kind of like nah. Like, nah, it's okay, thank you. But it lasted two seasons. Yeah, that's how you know it's good. So well, anyway, so we're not actually gonna be talking about that. What we are gonna be talking about this week is the Princess Bride, the 1987 film. We're taking a little delve into the past, and we're gonna do it in a patented three-part method, guaranteed to get you the best results. First, we're gonna rate the princess
Princess Bride Plan And Ground Rules
SPEAKER_04bride out of five stars. Um, they've been doing it since 1987, and that ends today. Then we're going to uh dive into the golden path and explore the deeper meanings of the Princess Bride. Um, they've been doing that since 1987, and that also ends today. And then finally, what uh we're going to insert ourselves, drugs, or alcohol into the film, and what makes it so special, so fun, so unique is that we're going to be doing it inebriated. So uh, James, what are you uh what are you enjoying this week?
SPEAKER_00Uh I took an extra dose of dextraamphetamine, and so I think that uh I think that I'll probably get pretty hyper by the end of
Drinks Toasts And Listener Shoutouts
SPEAKER_00this. Okay. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my attention on the conversation.
SPEAKER_04Here's hope. Well, when have we not been meandering? Um I'll be joining you with a little something special I got uh for my my birthday. It turns out just everyone bought me booze, and so now I have a fully stocked bar of special edition hooch. And today I'll be trying a knob creek aged nine years, 120 horsepower. So 120 proof here. This is uh this is gonna be some vicious stuff. Yeah, yeah. No, that's gonna kick like a mule.
SPEAKER_00So 120 mule power.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's 120 mule power right there. Uh oh, Jesus, that's a full shot. Fuck. I'm hungry too. But uh alright, so our first toast, first hit, uh, first shot, this one goes out to our newest listeners coming at us from the country of Mozovia, Warsaw.
SPEAKER_00Uh oh, Poland. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Poland. Yeah, yeah. We got the Polaks listening in again.
SPEAKER_00Uh, Poland.
SPEAKER_04We also uh have a Paramaribo rejoining us again.
unknownSt.
SPEAKER_00Paul in Brazil, Par Maribo.
SPEAKER_04Parmaribo. I don't know. Couldn't tell you haven't looked at it.
SPEAKER_00No, it's Suriname. Oh, it's Suriname. Nice.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Well, they keep showing up, so it's either the same VPN or we actually have some uh some Suriname listeners.
SPEAKER_00Uh that would be very interesting. Try not to get killed by gangs person in Paramir Parmaribo.
SPEAKER_04No, it's the gangs who are definitely listening.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay, cool. Try not to you try not to kill each other, gangs.
SPEAKER_04We actually distract the gangs for an hour every week, Monday. Good, good. Yeah. So we're doing a service. There you go, guys. Enjoy. So cheers. Cheers.
SPEAKER_03Oh, no, hurt. Holy crap. There we go. I thought I had a pretty straight face through most of that, but now it's in the chest.
SPEAKER_00Suriname's a really interesting country. Uh it's like mostly jungle and and swamp. And uh like it's it's so much of it's like a watershed that it's like impossible to build out most of the country, and then it's got and then a part of it, like the southern portion, is like huge mountains. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Suriname is a really, really interesting country.
SPEAKER_03And uh that's another reason why people come to us.
SPEAKER_04You learn so much. You learn about yourself, you learn about the world. It's it's truly a beautiful thing that we do here. And uh our second toast goes out to us. And cheers to us and the beautiful things that we do for the world.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Just got random shit knocking around in my brain, and then I repeat it. Cheers.
SPEAKER_03But I do like Knob Creek, and I I am enjoying this one.
SPEAKER_04But uh, it is not meant to be taken in like three consecutive shots, I tell you that much.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe half shot for the next one.
SPEAKER_04Oh, this final toast, final hit. This one goes out to the film this week. Princess Bride. The Princess Bride. The I think that's a pretty common misnomer.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Here we go. Cheers. Alright.
SPEAKER_04So we're ready to go. So uh Princess Bride. Uh James, did you want to run us through Princess Bride for those of us who haven't seen this 40-year-old movie?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay. I'll do it, I'll do that really quick. So
Princess Bride Plot In Plain English
SPEAKER_00the little kid from The Wonder Years is sick, and uh his mom needs to go to work because, you know, probably single parent. They don't say where the dad is. I'm guessing he's out of the picture. So she hires Columbo to come read him a story. And he he shows up. Okay, so it's so the framing device of the movie is Fred Savage is homesick. And uh all of a sudden I just forgot Columbo's name, so he's Columbo. Um is is his grandfather, and uh his name is uh Peter Falk. Jesus. Uh he he comes by and he reads him a book from his childhood called The Princess Bride, and it's like framed as a classic love story, and it's got uh Carrie Elwiz, who is uh who is uh uh uh I guess Dredge Pirate Robert. He is the Dredd Pirate Roberts, but he's also Wesley. He starts as West, the farm boy Wesley, and and uh Robin Wright is uh Princess Buttercup. And at the beginning they're like that, just this farm couple, and Carrie Elvis goes on a journey. Uh he goes to make some money out on the ocean and asks her to wait for him. He doesn't come back. A prince comes by and kidnaps her and forces her to marry him, and uh, and then we get a plot of of characters trying to kidnap the princess and uh and a reuniting with with Buttercup and Wesley and um and enemies turned friends, uh, and eventually we get to uh Love Conquers All and they ride off into the sunset together. Uh and this movie is like a very a classic but clever fairy tale told with some like um some fun anachronism and some fun uh uh a lot of fun character acting from some really great character actors. And uh it has kind of this earnestness uh that you don't see a lot in modern film. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I think that's pretty much important to note that Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 93, 7% less than Assy McGee.
SPEAKER_00Right spot on. I would say anywhere it ranked, it should be about seven percent less than Assy McGee. Season one, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Season two definitely it went in the shitter. Yeah. I don't know what there was. It was a real turd.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. This is our public service to the world. Well, I'll I'll I'll kick this one off, rating it. So sure. This one's this one I think is tough. Yeah. Just because, you know, uh obviously
Ryan Rates Acting Through Rewatchability
SPEAKER_04this movie is beloved.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04And uh, you know, i it's pretty impossible to actually get a uh a conversation about it with any sort of uh being critical of it in any sort of way is gonna be met rather negatively. You think so? I think so. I think any fan of this movie is just gonna tell you it's the best movie ever made. It came from their childhood, and uh don't you dare say anything bad about it. Um but uh and and so you also, as you're watching it, I'm sitting there trying to like ask myself, well, what from what lens should I be rating this film?
SPEAKER_00It's a good question.
SPEAKER_04You know, because Did you get fucked up to watch it? I did not, actually. Well, maybe honestly, uh it'd be kind of weird if I wasn't. No, I don't think. Nah I I had a drink. I had a drink. Good. Yeah, yeah. Like, hold on. Was it was it in one of my more lucid moments that I watched this thing? I think it was. But um, yeah, I I was pretty sober for it. And um, but uh yeah, so it'll be from a sober lens that I watched it and from a uh uh a drunken lens that I review it. So acting on this. There were some bad actors in here. I'll tell you that much. And I even felt felt that way as a young man, um, you know, watching you know, certain individuals do their best.
SPEAKER_00So which individual, like Andre the Giant?
SPEAKER_04Andre the Giant, he was endearing, and yeah, but that that was always sort of his shtick. Um, he was very endearing. He was very endearing. Was the acting 100% there? Not necessarily. And I have actually heard over the course of my time uh people saying it's because Fezick, like the character he plays, uh, may be autistic. Or uh yeah, things like that. And and they kind of like explain what's clearly just you know poor acting. He he was a very famous wrestler, famous for being huge, and when a movie needed a giant, who are you gonna call Andre the fucking giant?
SPEAKER_00He was most likely reading his lines phonetically, yeah. Um because because he's not a native English speaker, he's from Andorra, which is between Spain and France. So he's not a native English speaker.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, but then also um like Carrioles um, you know, reads his lines like he always has. Um and and there's moments there where, you know, I'm obviously not really sold on his particular brand of acting. Sure. But I still enjoy it. I still I still enjoy it thoroughly. Uh I liked the way his character is portrayed. Everyone always quotes uh Vicny in this one. Like Wallace Sean. Honestly, he irritates the absolute shit out of me through through it. Like I I'm always so happy when he finally drinks the fucking poison. Because he irritates the absolute shit out of me. Billy Crystal, fantastic performance. I haven't seen anything like this uh since you know Godfather part two.
SPEAKER_00A little bit of button when it's perfectly tender and you can slice tomato.
SPEAKER_04And uh so like yeah, the acting here, like, yeah, it it was very it was acted. It was indeed acted, and if anyone brought this score down, it was indeed Fred Savage.
SPEAKER_00No, Fred Savage was good, he was a good little kid actor. I found it so endearing, I cried at the end. When he's like, maybe you can come back and read it again tomorrow. And I was like, Oh my god! Oh Columbo, you're gonna come back. One more thing.
SPEAKER_04Um, for that, uh, but yeah, I give acting on this one a 3.5. Okay. Um cinematography. And that again, this is one of those situations where I'm like, what was on purpose? What was low budget? And but they're the but they did it in a way that I truly enjoyed. Um so like when when he's talking about I he doubts the existence of the large rodents. Um what was it? Rat uh rodents of abnormal size.
SPEAKER_00Uh uh rodent rodents of unusual size. Of unusual size, and then one just Monty Python style. It reminded me of uh I thought about uh Pineapple Express when he comes jumping down from the second jump with the suspended hang uh hang time in that jump.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and the rat had hang time as he fucking gets him. Um and so I enjoyed that. Um it was very clear that a lot like like the the sailing scenes, it was shot in a pool, a very large pool. But I also think that that serves the narrative perspective because you know this is being told from a book, and so that's sort of how you view a book being told. And so for that, um, I think with what they had and what they did, I think it was very effective. I'm gonna give the cinematography uh a 3.5. Score. Again, were they trying to do it or so in uh for a lot of this, I think it works to it. Uh obviously the Princess Bride song itself is very recognizable, you hear it, but when it's not that song, it's very immemorable keyboarding and things like that. But then it also serves the sort of storytelling theme of you know the fairy tale that they're going for. So uh for that I'm gonna give the score a four.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's a little bit uh it's a little bit uh you know medieval, a little bit modern. Mm-hmm. Romantic.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Plot uh the the plot is uh a lot of fun. It it it's uh you know, it's a basic plot on on the whole, but there's a lot of twists and turns. Um I mean you see the main character uh tortured and it starts from a very unsuspecting place of him returning as a dread pirate, like it it plays so well into so many fantasy tropes and fandoms, even that we weren't calling them fandoms back in '82. He was just nerd shit. Um, but now um it plays into so many cool things and incorporates them, and I think it does it really well. So while it's not the most inventive story of all time, it refreshes so many different storylines. Um it's very well done. It's a fantastic plot. And honestly, I'm very interested to actually read the novel this is based on. Um, because I did I did flip it open just a few days before we decided to do this movie, and I immediately saw some differences in just the perspective. So I I would be anxious, I'd be interested to see how the difference actually plays out. Right. The plot I give a 4.5. And rewatchability, this is a movie I've watched a million times without even watching it. Um like just fucking put on the Princess Bride. Like, you know, it it's so easy to watch. It's and it like it's so easy to put on for whoever you have in the room. I like if you just got a bunch of millennials sitting around, like, hey you guys you want to put on the Princess Bride and drink?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, cool.
SPEAKER_04If if you're that cool uncle millennial who, you know, can't afford a home and just comes to visit everyone else's successful family, you can put on the Princess Bride.
SPEAKER_00Like it's it's it's inoffensive, but also enjoyable. It's not it's inoffensive but not boring. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04And that's one of its greatest boons. It's it's not boring at all. You could watch this all the time. Uh for that, I give rewatchability here. I give rewatchability a five. This is Like this is I'm gonna watch this a thousand more times in my life. I know that.
SPEAKER_00Like quintessential rewatchable movie.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, this is this is peak rewatchability.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So yeah. Um so yeah, I give it a five.
SPEAKER_00If you want to laugh, if you want to cry, if you want to see some sword fighting, it's got it all. If you want to see some torture. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But like, yeah, we like so st like score, for example, we give fives to the ones that are quintessential. You know, your godfathers, your Harry Potters, your like the one the Jurassic part. You know, those sorts of things. Uh cinematography, you give you fives to your, you know, your your godfathers and things of that nature. And um, but like um I don't know. I don't know where we we haven't done avatar, so I don't I don't know where he sits. It's just this weird billion-dollar fucking boom doggle.
SPEAKER_00Throwing the camera all around everywhere. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about Avatar. I I love we we we talked about I think we did do Avatar Way of Water, or or at least we talked a little bit about it. But like I love being in the water. Like I I uh I free dive and I spear fish and I love being underwater and exploring things. I filmed some really cool GoPro footage underwater. Like, I love being underwater, and Way of Water should have appealed to me greatly, but I was so bored. Uh it's it's I I don't usually get bored during movies. I almost fell asleep during Way of Water because I was so fucking bored. Uh so uh that's I think that has something to do with the cinematography the cinematography alone should have kept me awake. Yeah, I that says something to me personally, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Well, and for rewatchability, like I I would give um you know that movie you watch every Christmas is a 4.5.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_04But this is a five. You're gonna watch it just all the time. Like it's gonna happen. You're gonna watch it again, and you have no choice. Obviously, not as much as ASE McGee, but you know.
SPEAKER_00If you can find it. Trying to scrub the ass from the internet.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, uh that's where I stand.
SPEAKER_00All right. Well, I guess that means I'm up. So uh I'll go ahead and jump in and say that acting. I think the acting in this, you know, you had said something about Carrie Elvis's type of acting. You know,
James Rates And The Final Score
SPEAKER_00like he kind of like he kind of has this um hold his chin back, like kind of like looks look straight, keep his head still and look straight at the person he's talking to and keep a straight face kind of acting. But he's play, you know, he he tends to play the kind of character that that suits for. And I think it also this kind of smoldering uh works because like it's supposed to be a romance story. It's supposed to be the the greatest love story ever told. And so you have like this um almost like camp kind of acting where everybody's like strongly portraying their archetype, and then of course at certain points that's undercut, right? Like uh like Andre the Giant's character Fezzick is is supposed to be dumb, but he's actually not dumb. He's actually thoughtful and pensive, and he has and he is smart, he has good plans, and and you know, uh uh who else is in this movie? Sorry, I'm my brain's going crazy. Mandy Petinkin. He's like all about swords, but then he ends up being but then he's in he ends up all being all about friendship, you know. It's not about he he isn't he doesn't just he isn't single mind, he isn't as single-minded as he thinks he is. Yeah. And uh so yeah, so I think that uh I think that the acting in this was actually two character, uh, and I think it was pretty good, and I'm gonna give it a four. Uh I really I really one of the one of the best little uh exchanges was during the sword fight. It's you know, a lot of people do the uh the I like the sword fight between uh Wesley and uh Anigo Montoya. Uh all people always go thought, you know, my name is Nigo Montoya, uh, you know, but uh I like the part where I like the part where where Wesley says to Anigo, uh you're going to have to get used to disappointment. And Anigo goes, hmm, okay. And Sarah and I actually say that back to each other, back and forth to each other a lot.
SPEAKER_04I almost wish we had a uh uh a piece for writing. Um but I guess that folds into the plot. But there's there's there's obvious differences between writing and plot, and uh this one definitely had some really good writing. Yeah, uh, and that's definitely it.
SPEAKER_00Uh absolutely. And uh so I'll go ahead and uh move on to cinematography. So this one uh was shot by the late Rob Reiner, uh, who famously was murdered in his home a couple years ago. Uh he and his wife were murdered, most likely by his own son, who is on trial, who is on trial now uh at this current time.
SPEAKER_04He keeps getting mad that he's not getting the inheritance.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty fucking crazy.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00But Rob Rob Reiner, good director, directed a lot of really excellent movies that uh we're all really familiar with. He he directed uh Stand By Me, This Is Spinal Tap, A Few Good Men, Misery. Misery, misery. Yeah, misery is such a good one. I mean, you're missing out when Harry met Sally. When Harry met Sally, of course. Uh, and of course, everyone's favorite, the bucket list.
SPEAKER_04That that was clearly I I saw that, and that was just such a old men of Hollywood, let's do one for us, finally.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like guys, fuck off.
SPEAKER_04Fuck off all of you.
SPEAKER_00When have old prestigious men haven't gotten what they want for too long.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's time we get a say. Like, oh fuck yourself.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, Rob Reiner has direct directed quite a few good movies, and I think that the cinematography here is also really good. I think they've got some really excellent shots, and they've actually got some shots that we don't see too much in movies anymore, because now we kind of uh uh we want we use a lot of cranes and stuff to keep things moving so they don't look too fake or whatever. Uh, but like the scene where the Wesley stunt double does the gymnastics bar in the Storm the Sword Fight. Yeah, I actually liked that. It's endearing. You know, it's it's not like the height of cinematography, but when done correctly, it's endearing. You know, and then Anigo goes, Who are you? You know? I must know. Yeah, you're gonna have to get used to disappointment.
SPEAKER_04I gotta remember that just for use in my job.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like when someone asks me like about deadlines and whatnot, like you're just gonna have to get used to disappointment.
SPEAKER_00It's good stuff. Um, and so I'm gonna give that a four as well. I I really enjoyed the cinematography in this. Of course, some of it is a little clunky and a little old style, uh, but it was really endearing for me. Uh, the music uh for this one, uh the music lead on this was Mark Knoffler. Do you know? Do you happen to know who Mark Knoffler is? The Knoffler? Hell yeah. No, no, you don't. Okay. So uh he was uh he was in dire straits. He was the guitarist for dire straits, and he was music. Yeah, he did the music lead for this movie. That's wild. It yeah, it is wild, and it's pretty it it I like the music on this, and when you know that about this and you you listen to it, you know, you can really hear the influences of it, and and I really like it. I I found myself you know humming the the end credits and stuff after the after we watched the movie last week, and I've been humming them ever since, and uh it's definitely not the most iconic of all albums, but it was really good. And so I'm definitely gonna give that one a four as well. So right now I'm four all the way across the board. Uh for plot, uh yeah, I think the plot on this again, uh and you know what's interesting? You said that people who grew up with this movie and were big fans of this movie, they're gonna be like, it was the best movie ever, and there's nothing you can say. I didn't grow up with this movie, I didn't see this movie until adulthood. I didn't see this movie until like 10 years ago. And it instantly became like one of my favorite movies. And it wasn't it wasn't through the lens of childhood, you know. I was an adult, I was I was almost 30 years old at the time. And uh instantly I was like, holy shit, how did I never watch this movie? This movie's so good.
SPEAKER_04Well, I I I'll say the same. Like, I didn't watch it until my late uh probably early 20s. Um it just hadn't come up. So the same, the same. But I encounter so many people who have been watching it since they were children, um you know, because of that you know, millennial millennial arc type uncle rolling in. I guess it would have been Gen X Gen X, but yeah, fuck Gen X.
SPEAKER_00So I I'm not into the gender wars. I think everyone's fine as long as the gender wars either. I'm sorry, the generation wars is what I meant. My bad. I'm not into the generation wars.
SPEAKER_04They're just boomers without the balls.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know, you have to remember there were also boomers who were, you know, out there fighting for civil rights and stuff, and it's they're not they're not an amalgamation, and we would hate to be amalgamized by them as well. And so I try to distance myself from the generation wars. I don't want to look down and say all young people are a certain way either, because then we get no I refuse young people who make obsession and stuff, and it's like, oh shit, you guys rule, you know, and uh yeah, it's tough, it's tough though, yeah, yeah. But for for plot, I would say that uh the plot on this, which I agree with you completely that uh it's a it's a kind of a standard plot, but they have nice twists and the and the writing in it, uh, you know, they especially have good dialogue twists where they they have like they have good quips and good and just good little twists, like Wesley being tortured by the machine, and uh and and Christopher Guest being like this really you know quiet sociopath, you know, and the uh like the uh the like the bonded sociopathy of he and uh and Prince uh Prince Humperdink. Um it's like uh yeah, I I thought the the plot was really good and it goes right along with the acting. I'm gonna give it a 4.5 just because it's so if it feels it it never feels it never feels old. I there are there's always something when I watch it where I'm like, oh, I forgot about that. That's fun, you know? Yeah, uh-huh yeah, really great. And uh for rewatchability, yeah. I've probably watched this movie like 20 times and I'll keep watching it more. I watched it, you know, just last week and I want to watch it again already. So I kind of need endlessly rewatchable, yeah. Yeah, truly good. Uh so that's our scores in. I'm gonna go ahead and calculate. Oh. Are you you I'm gonna change some some of my scores real quick.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna change some of my scores real quick. I think I'm gonna give it a five on acting. Jesus Christ. All right. So that brings it to a 4.32, which right we round up to 4.5.
SPEAKER_04That's fair. That is fair. That is fair, and definitive. Definitive. I just had a change of heart, a change of heart right at the end. It happens. It happens to the best of us. It happens to the best of us, and sometimes a thing needs 4.5.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, there's no way it's good. Yeah, taking it down to four is wrong. It's gotta go up.
SPEAKER_04Well, there you have it, folks. Uh, the Princess Bride, a 4.5. Rewatchable to the fucking end. Uh I'll put this on when I'm lying in my deathbed. Like, ah, fuck it. One more watch. Um as you wish. And like, oh shit. Um, but yeah. Uh so well, there you have it, folks. 4.5. Congratulations, Princess Bride. It's a sound rhyme. It's a sound rhyme. Cheers. Yeah. So here's to that. It's time to get into our second part. It is time to get into the golden path, which means it's time for me to take another little hit here to talk about the deeper meanings of the Princess Bride. Oh.
Wesley’s Harsh Lines And Intent
SPEAKER_03So let's discuss.
SPEAKER_04Alright, so deeper meanings. What do we got? That that sorry, that shit fucking kicks. I generally hang out at 100 proof. My favorite is uh 115 proof. But I I do enjoy 120, don't get me wrong. It it gets you where you need to be. But uh yeah, you don't generally use it for consecutive shots. So um so I I did want to bring up this 4.5 film. Wesley says some sexist shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, I think he's doing it to try to tease information out of her, not because he believes it. Not because he believes that the I hope so.
SPEAKER_04Because when when he said some shit, I'm like, that's not how you feel, Wesley. It can't be. Yeah, it's not really how he feels. That's that's Dread Pirate Roberts talking. Is that is that the deal?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't think that's the deal. I think he's specifically trying to uh offend her morals to get her to be impassioned about her response. I think that I think that it's because it's a it's got that heightened drama of a romance story.
SPEAKER_04Or is he a man that's been hurt and instead of discussing it in a healthy situ in a in a healthier way, he attacks. He's lashing out. Yeah, or is he lashing out? Sure. Is that what's happening there?
SPEAKER_00I think that's possible. Uh, I don't uh I don't think it's necessary for Wesley to be a perfect person. So, you know, whether I think it's open to interpretation.
SPEAKER_04Personally, the way my chief concern here when we're dealing with sexist comments is is Wesley MAGA? Because I need to know.
SPEAKER_00He he is a uh he has the thief. Uh he is a fraudster.
SPEAKER_04That's not helping me. I'm not feeling better, James. I'm not feeling better.
SPEAKER_00He I don't know. He doesn't like Spaniards, James. Well, nobody does. That's true. Remember, remember, Spain is a specific country in Europe full of white people. So it's not you can you can dislike Americans.
SPEAKER_04It's about immigration.
SPEAKER_00No, it's just about disliking people specific. You you know, you can dislike Spaniards whether they're immigrating or just in Spain. I could dislike all the Spaniards who are in Spain, and that's not an immigration issue. That's just disliking Spaniards because they're shifty.
SPEAKER_04That's true, that's very true. That's true, and that this is coming from an Eastern European.
SPEAKER_00And shifty, and the whole country has a lisp, and it's not okay.
SPEAKER_04And it's not okay. All right, okay. All right, so all right, so that aside. Like, look, if he doesn't like Spaniards, I can forgive that. What I can't forgive is if he's MAGA.
SPEAKER_00Right. I don't think he is. I don't think they have voting in in that country, so there's no way he could be MAGA anyway. Okay, well, thank God. I think he was just trying to get a rise out of her, and it's it's it's melodrama, kind of like a soap opera, because that's what romance novels are, is like the precursor to soap operas. So I mean it's melodrama.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00So we overlook it. Yeah, or or or you incorporate it. You say that listen, Wesley's melodramatic. He's a passionate person who's melodramatic, and that's something that you know, and and Buttercup's like, why would you say such mean, you know, why would you say such horrible things? And she's right, you know, and that's something that he she's sticking up for herself. He apologizes, you know, as you wish. You're right, you're right.
SPEAKER_04He does uh so I'm so I mean Yeah, and he does he does forgive, forget, and move on, and that is true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh let's see. Uh what else can I say about the deeper meaning of Princess Bride? I feel like this kind of I mentioned it earlier, that this kind of earnestness in film is something that we don't really that we don't really get the feeling
Earnest Movies And Why They Hit
SPEAKER_00from a lot of movies today. A lot of movies seem polished to the point that they don't feel they don't feel endearing anymore. Do you agree with that?
SPEAKER_04I do. I I a hundred percent agree. I mean, so last week we did He-Man, which when you like you look at it at its face, it should have been a very similar feeling. Um we're dealing with a very basic plot, we're we're dealing with hope and goodness and right uh and all those sorts of things, but just the way um we handle media now, it fell a little flat. Um as as our definitive ranking of 2.5 showed. Um like like for me, for like He-Man has a high rewatchability for me, but but it's lacking soul.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04As so much of our stuff is, and so uh so lacking soul, I think, is the curse right now of modern media, and that hit me so strongly um this weekend while I I I had gone to a Barnes and Noble. Uh I I had gone with with Callie, my uh my partner, and she sent me off, and she's like, Hey, you you want to go to the horror section and the fantasy section and all those sorts of things.
SPEAKER_00And I found myself You're like, Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_04Well, the yeah, I found myself in this position where I know walking over there, this it was all selected by agents and publishers who are just picking what they think is gonna be financially viable in the next so many months. And I know that I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna spend an hour looking through these novels, and 90% of them, no, ninety-eight percent of them are gonna fucking suck because we have just dragged all the soul out of our fucking art in the pursuit of financial gain. And and we're living in a society now where I don't have time. To read through shitty novels. Right. And so, like, what I and I'm like, no, actually, I'm not even gonna go over there. I would rather do front-end research to find something that might be worth my time instead of sitting there at a Barnes and Noble pulling shit off the shelf. And and that is what modern stuff is missing, is that you don't have you there's no soul. There's no soul, there's no effort. Like, yeah, parts of Princess Bride were low budget, parts of it were like trying to figure out how to do this, but there was so much love and effort and art put into it, which creates this amazing thing. And I think we're also seeing that now with fucking studios clamoring to figure out how to recreate obsession. Right. Um, wondering why their you know $500 million budgets aren't landing.
SPEAKER_00It's because you keep throwing money at this thing, and it's not, it's not, it's not, it has no soul.
SPEAKER_04Because AI, because money, because all those things that doesn't equate to art.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_04And what we have here, getting to look at Princess Bride is flawed, beautiful art.
SPEAKER_00The the budget for this movie was sixteen million dollars, uh, which is a which is a uh pretty low budget even then for a movie. You know, you might even call it like low mid, but no, it's considered a low budget movie. And you know, we've talked about this a couple times before uh in this podcast, uh, but I think it's good to make it a point, like a strong point with this film is that when you have a low budget, what you have to do there, you know, a low budget movie can be bad, right? Oh yeah. Uh low budget, low budget movies can definitely be bad. I'm not saying that uh what makes a movie good is low budget. Yes. But what what a low budget movie has to do to be good is to have great attention to detail. That means great attention detail in casting the right people for your roles, great attention to detail and script writing to make sure the script is really good, great attention detail when you're filming to make sure you have good angles and and and that your actors are achieving what they need to do. Uh uh great attention to detail when when you're building your sets, you know, to make sure your set is like has has some merit to it. When you're solving problems, you're solving them creatively, which leads to fun things. You know, one thing we always talk about is the Raimi
Low Budget Craft Versus Money Machines
SPEAKER_00cam, right? Uh the Raimi Cam when he was doing Evil Dead, he put it on a fucking dolly and swung it around on this on this track. You gotta be creative. And and that's how we got a rame the Raimi cam, which is like something that is big has been big in movies since then. And it was from it came from low budget. And and with someone who really cared about what they were doing, they're like, no, we need to get this right. How do we get this right? And it wasn't about throwing money at the way things already work, you know, it was about it was about sitting down and solving problems creatively. And when someone puts that much specific work into it, direct work, where they're like, I have a vision and I'm gonna complete it, and this means a lot to me, then you get a really good movie. Uh, you know, if the person's skill is there. And that's why something like this really stands out, and something like He-Man, like the CGI, washes over you because it was like a hundred people in fucking Indonesia or whatever building it, and they and the director wasn't saying they're like, We need this like this, or we need this like this.
SPEAKER_04And no, it becomes a job. It's just it's just getting an objective accomplished. Yeah, they've they've lost art.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, and it's and it's it's frustrating.
SPEAKER_04It's very frustrating. It's and it's been breaking my heart recently when I well like they're like so. They're getting ready to release, uh, well, not release necessarily. We have some time, but uh the new fable is coming, if you recall. It was a video game for Xbox, and people loved it for so many innovative things. It was it was a true work of art in the gaming community. And I I've been paying attention to this new remake because it looks fucking amazing. Um, but but then there was an ad that was put out saying that all 1,000 voice artists that were put into fable, none of it is AI. And then I see comments in things saying, well, just not using modern technology is a waste. And it's like, no, it's art, it's art, humans create art. Right. Money doesn't create art, AI doesn't create art. We do. It it is how we look at the universe and say, I was fucking here. And when too much money gets involved, and when fucking AI gets involved, you're not saying fucking anything. You're not saying a goddamn thing.
SPEAKER_00It's also specifically the pursuit of money, not necessarily the spending of money, but it's the pursuit. And that's what a lot of these uh you know production studios that are th that throw money out of production, you know, to try they're what they're trying to do is get money. They're not trying to make art, they're trying to make money. Yes. Um, and and which is why Star Wars is dead. Yeah, Star Wars was done on a shoestring budget. Yeah. But uh, but the Princess Bride was not a major financial success on its release. It made its money back plus like 14 million or something, but it wasn't a major financial success uh in in its box office. And you know, j by you know, there weren't more of these made, you know. Uh and uh it's just a singular piece of art. Yeah, and it's better that way. It's better that there weren't more of these, but studios don't want to do that because it doesn't make money and it's not a continual why why am I investing in this if I'm not getting money back? You know, uh sometimes I think uh you know the the feudal system of patron patronage might have been better for humanity. Like there was a reason we did it that way where where a patron was like, all right, sure, I'm gonna pay, I'm gonna pay Michelangelo to fucking paint on the Sistine Chapel. We're gonna pay him a shit bunch, a shit ton of money. And it's like I'm the patron of this and this lives forever. And it's like this isn't gonna bring me any money, but it's it's uh it's for it's for it's for me and my ego and he and and art, you know?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, just humanity. And and it's and it's of my opinion now at this point in the way we are going, like, because I I tend to look at things from a writer's lens, and I the next great American novel, or I mean from where we're sitting right now, the next great American novel will have nothing to do with um publishers. It's going to come from the underground, and it's gonna be something that ignores what like because I have dug through the trenches of what agents are looking for and what publishing houses are looking for, and it's always based on what is popular this fucking second. No art is gonna come from that. The next thing that we remember for a hundred years will come from the underground. Um, and it'll undig itself from this goddamn trench we made for our so it is time now to insert ourselves into the Princess Bride. So, James, how how does the movie change with you being
Dropping Ourselves Into The Film
SPEAKER_04written in?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wouldn't take the place of any character. I wouldn't take the place of any specific character. What I would love to do, and you can just imagine this on your own, is like just me in the background of like every scene following the movie, and just just every once in a while you see me go, whoa, whoa, like when they're sword fighting, and and uh you know, I'll rip a bong every once in a while, and you know, when he when he's uh when he's sitting there doing the scene with Vicini, you know, with the the poison cups, I'll be there going, I think it's that one, it's that one. But it's not gonna change anything about the movie, right? Does nothing about nothing needs to be changed.
SPEAKER_04We're going to Kung Pao enter the fist, the Princess Bride.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. And I don't think it'll diminish the movie at all. Uh, I think uh But you you recall Kung Pao, right? Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04It didn't diminish. It did not diminish the original film at all. No, no. So it's just Princess Bride, but with James, you want fries with that?
SPEAKER_00That's uh yeah, you're you got it. Tackle Bill, Tackle Bill. Yeah. Are you sure we want to call it a Holocaust cloak?
SPEAKER_04So so yeah, you're just all right, fantastic, you're just chilling. Lovely. Yeah, for me, um, if I were inserted into Princess Bride, that uh that's the problem with me. I I am a diehard, stone cold, live my life by the whims of my romanticism. So I would fit right into this fucking universe.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like I, yeah, no, it's like to me, like, uh yeah, cool, Princess Bride. I I know the rules. We're good to go. I've been doing it my whole fucking life. I will change my personality for the person I'm in love with, and I haven't learned to stop doing that yet. So here we are. Yeah, so yeah, I guess uh yeah, no, I I think the difference would just be that um because we have all these fantasy tropes that get to actualize themselves. I'm gonna take Buttercup. We're gonna go back to my fucking boat, and we are gonna go. Are you Wesley? Yeah, I I got no choice. I got no fucking choice. I have no fucking choice. I am taking Buttercup. We're going back to the boat, though, because the adventure is not done. We still got dread pirate shit to do. Right. And, you know, we're gonna we're gonna do romantic assassin shit. It's just gonna be dark fantasy, fucking romanticy smut all over the place. Right. If I'm delving into the world of of fiction, romance, and all that kind of stuff. It's just me and Buttercup fucking in exotic locales, doing adventurous shit. The story does not end. Um, and uh Columbo would not be able to read the rest of these books to Frankie Muniz. It wasn't Fred Savage, close. Same guy, same fucking guy.
SPEAKER_00Uh Malcolm in the Middle was the wonder years of our time.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yes. I I thought it was a smart joke. Yeah, it's good personally. So that would be it. It was just like this this is no longer a singular novel. We're gonna try and make some money off of the sequels, and they're gonna suck because Hollywood got involved and the art was stripped out of them. But we make some money off of the uh full frontal nudity.
SPEAKER_00No, you just have it just have the just have the guy who did obsession direct it. Do a do a no, don't throw money at it, just have it be a romanticy sput, dark romantic.
SPEAKER_04That guy's email has been blowing the fuck up, and he is about to make some shitty movies.
SPEAKER_00He is he's about to make some very shitty movies. Uh it's too bad. It's really too bad. Yeah, he's gonna do a Marvel. He's gonna do the next Morbius.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's gonna make the next Morbius, which is really sad. He he was an artist, he had a lot of talent, but he's about to be sucked into the the wing of this capitalist AI art, and it's a shame because when you you you make a lot of money.
SPEAKER_00Can I make some money from what you do?
SPEAKER_04And he's gonna be like, Yeah, let's all make money.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for money.
SPEAKER_04Everyone's gonna make money, and it's gonna be really sad when the revolution comes and we throw them all up against the wall. It's like, oh, dude, you had a really good money movie that one time. That sucks, dude. You want a blindfold and a cigarette, or no? So, well, there you have it, folks. So uh Princess Bride, four out of 4.5 out of five. Uh, there's nothing you could say or do about it. Capitalism AI and all that obviously destroys art. There's your review.
Final Jokes And Sign-Off
SPEAKER_04I'm your host, Ryan Baron.
SPEAKER_007% less good than Assey McGee.
SPEAKER_04Yes, you can never touch Asie McGee according to Rotten Tomatoes. And it's really fucked up that people still go to them and not us. So, yeah. So uh folks out there in Hollywood looking to finally make a good review company. We are ready to sell out. We are ready to be put up against the wall with you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, we'll change anything about this podcast that you want. We have no, we have we don't care at all about nothing.
SPEAKER_04About we'll make some money. Let's make some fucking money.
SPEAKER_00I'm willing to say that I think Holocaust cloaks were the perfect. Actually, they should have done they should have gone harder on the Holocaust part.
SPEAKER_04With me as always, James Groslin. Thank you all for listening. Bye.
SPEAKER_00As you wish, as you wish.
