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What If Success Was Never What You Thought It Was? | EP 507

• Sheila Botelho

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You’ve hit the milestones. You’ve built the business. And yet… something feels off.


In this solo episode, Sheila invites you into an honest conversation around the hidden patterns behind how we define success—and how those definitions might be keeping you stuck. 


Through real stories from clients, a personal turning point in 2020, and a timeless lesson from a beloved mentor, Sheila explores the quiet, yet powerful truth: you might be chasing a version of success that was never yours to begin with.


You’ll walk away with 3 high-impact mindset reframes to shift how you experience growth, achievement, and fulfillment. If you’re a seasoned entrepreneur ready to realign your business and life with what truly matters, this episode will meet you where you are—and offer the clarity you didn’t know you needed.


Listen in and start reclaiming your version of success.


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Sheila:

Most people spend years chasing someone else's version of success, but consider this what you think is driving you might actually be draining you. In this episode, I'm sharing real stories about redefining success beyond the checklist. You'll walk away with three powerful reframes to help you reconnect your version of success, one that brings more peace, purpose and profit with far less push. Hi, welcome to the podcast. I'm Sheila Botello. I'm committed to help you reconnect to your purpose, elevate your wellbeing and build your version of a happy, successful life. This episode is where I'm pulling back the curtain on the patterns, stories and opportunities that often shape how we define and experience success, and today we're going to cover a question that so many people avoid asking what if your definition of success isn't even yours? Let's start here. Let's start here. What do most people consider success? Money, status, achievement, recognition, a house that looks a certain way, a number in the bank account or maybe a social media feed that makes people say, oh, they have made it Now. These things are not bad, they're not wrong, but they are often inherited and unquestioned. Most people, even today, build a life chasing someone else's version of success. It could be a parent's, a partner's, a mentor's or, worse, a societies. I want to ask you something right now when did you last sit down and actually define what success feels like for you? Feels like not just looks like, but feels like, because if you're chasing something that doesn't even let you up anymore, there's no amount of strategy that is going to make it feel fulfilling.

Sheila:

One of my clients came to me last year feeling completely exhausted. From the outside, her business looked incredible and she had the revenue, the clients, even the press, but she felt numb and she kept telling herself this is what I worked for. I should be so grateful for it. But deep down, she was disconnected from herself, from her creativity and even from her joy. And as we worked together, she started to unpack where her version of success came from. And it turns out it really wasn't hers. It was modeled by her father, who had run a very successful business, but also who lived in constant stress. She thought success required hustle, sacrifice and endless output. So the reframe for her that we worked on together was this Success isn't about how much I produce, it's about how aligned I feel in the process. And again, she had the receipts. You know. She had the thriving business, so it wasn't like she needed to burn everything down and start over from a completely different place. It was really about how her day-to-day would look and how it could be different, because once she let herself believe that it could be true, that was the first step. She restructured her business in a way that honored her time, her creativity and her energy, and that, ironically, is when her income increased. In her case, she went from even though she had a team she went from doing more of the things that were just not in her zone of genius to hiring someone to take those things, an additional team member, which you would think, oh, that's just going to eat into the bottom line profit margins. Hmm, but you know what it did? It opened up the spaciousness for her to live more in her creativity. It elevated her energy, and that is when new opportunities became presented to her and she was able to do so much more in terms of output, but also revenue producing activity than ever before.

Sheila:

It was really, really beautiful to witness, and I remember the year. I mean one of the many years there's been so many, but let's just focus on one. The year everything really shifted for me in most recent times was 2020. And I think a lot of people listening will relate to this. That was a wild year. Now you already know what that looked like for the world, all around the world, but for me it was a year of incredible clarity, which is so strange because when I was entering into 2020, I was like, ooh, 2020, the year of perfect vision. It's going to be so amazing. And I got a lot of clarity. I got great vision, but it was definitely not packaged the way I would have expected. Vision, but it was definitely not packaged the way I would have expected, because, while the world paused, my family life deepened even more. And what struck me most was this Even though there was a lot of panic around me in the world and in the neighborhood, even I didn't feel panic.

Sheila:

We were okay. We were okay financially, logistically, because we'd planned for it, but also emotionally, emotionally. We had practices in place as a family and individually, that really helped us grow, to move through that really uncertain time. That, don't get me wrong. We had our moments. It really it's almost hard to put into words, but I just had this inner sense that everything was going to work out. And it wasn't because I had a crystal ball like my goodness, wouldn't that have been great. I could have really helped people Don't worry, we're going to be okay on the other side of this but it was because I'd built a life, a business and a rhythm that was already sustainable.

Sheila:

And in that moment, I remember being on a walk one day and just saying this is success for me right now, in this season, it was being home with my family. Now, in this season, it was being home with my family, feeling safe, having time and still being able to show up and serve without burning myself out. I had always valued that, certainly, but 2020 proved it to me and I realized that the truest definition of success for me really is this it's peace, presence, possibility, spaciousness, not just profit. Yes, profit's in there, hello, right, certainly, because, my goodness, I always say more money in the hands of people who have big hearts and want to change the world, hands of people who have big hearts and want to change the world, and that includes you.

Sheila:

The year of 2020 was interesting because, even though I felt peace about my little family and, fortunately, my extended family too it also was the year literally the end of February and a leap year was February 29th. My father passed away, and so it's not like I was sailing through 2020 like, all right, this year can't touch me, oh boy. My whole business pivoted and I was doing so with some sincere emotional spirals that I would find myself in because of that pivotal time in my life of losing my father and still showing up for my family and just all the things and being there for the people in my world Because certainly not everyone else in our midst in our family, in our friend connections even we're feeling a sense of peace. That was really hard to come by that year, but truly in that moment success and what it meant to me I could really articulate it and that has stayed with me. I don't think about it a whole lot, but sometimes it'll just kind of pop up in a memory.

Sheila:

And now, another thing I want to share is one of the most quietly powerful mentors in my life that really only became like a direct mentor to me in his later years was my godfather. I would watch him from afar. He was very successful in his life and did so many things that he had planned to do. Just went out and did them and he seemed absolutely fearless. And he had planned to do just went out and did them and he seemed absolutely fearless. And he also didn't do it alone. He surrounded himself with beautiful humans, really talented people. He was in media and he empowered them and he brought people together and he had so much humor and joy and he was just vivacious in the way he lived his life. Well, he passed away several years ago, but it's only during the last several years that I've really recognized the impact he had on me. Even before we spent a whole lot of time communicating with each other because he lived far away and we wouldn't speak a whole lot until his later years.

Sheila:

But I was very fortunate to be able to have a wonderful connection with my godmother, and that continues on, and so in visiting her recently, I walked into her office, which used to be his office. So it has like a combination of some of their beautiful collections over the years of things they've picked up on travels and they just I just love their style. It's so, so fun and fresh. And so right next to the desk where he used to work on his projects and his dreams was a picture and it showed some birds in flight and like very simple, like black and white, and they look so delicate but like really, really big wind span, wing span. And underneath the birds, in tiny letters, were these words because they can. And it really struck me. I walked into the office one day and saw it. I'm like, whoa, okay, this was probably his success mantra.

Sheila:

Right, he lived it. He didn't follow trends, he actually created some. I believe he didn't wait for permission, he paved the way. He believed in doing what felt right because he could. And when you think about this truly, truly, if we were to take the barriers off of what we thought was possible and if we even maybe rejigged what we thought success meant, maybe we could too. That simple phrase has shaped how I move through life since I saw it. So when I'm doubting myself or wondering if something's too big or too soon, I hear those words Birds fly because they can, you dream because you can, you lead because you can, because you are a leader. That's success, that's self-leadership.

Sheila:

So how do you start rewriting your relationship with success? Here are three reframes that have helped me and many of the women that I've worked with. Reframe number one success is external versus success is internal. First, you can hit every goal on paper and still feel lost, but when your success is built on internal alignment your energy, your boundaries, your intuition. It feels solid, sustainable and, most of all, it feels satisfying. The second reframe success is final versus success is cyclical. You are not a machine. You are a living being. You'll have expansion seasons and contraction seasons, and every single one serves a purpose. There's no one summit. You'll keep evolving, and your definition of success should too. The third reframe success is one size fits all versus success is bespoke, like a nice tailored outfit. Your life, your mission, your body, your values they're all unique. So why would your business or relationships follow someone else's template? Your success should feel like it was made for you because it was so.

Sheila:

If you're listening to this and wondering what do I do with this reflection, here is your invitation for the week Stop comparing and start listening. Pick one area of your life where you've been measuring your worth against someone else's metric. Pause, Take time to reflect and ask do I even want what they have? Do I even want what they have? What do I actually want to feel? And what if I already have signs of success, but I've been too busy to notice? Write them down. Write these answers down, speak them out and just honor it, because that's where it all starts If you're ready to actually live your version of success, to start defining it and building it and then sustaining it from the inside out.

Sheila:

That is what the season's success method is for. It is the framework that's helped me and so many of my clients ditch burnout, embrace their natural rhythms and create success that feels real. You'll find the link in the show notes, and it's not just a tool, it is a meditation as well, but it's also a compass leading you back to yourself. Thank you so much for being here. This work of unlearning, of reimagining how you live your life and do your business, takes time, but it's some of the most powerful work you will ever do, because once you define success, no one can take it from you. If this episode landed for you, I would love if you left a review or shared it with someone who's ready to redefine what success means to them. Big blessings, and I will see you on another episode.