The Good Immigrant Myth: How Respectability Politics Divide Us

What makes someone "deserving" of citizenship? A perfect GPA? Military service? Paying taxes and never making a mistake?

In this episode, we unpack the myth of the “Good Immigrant,” the notion that only exceptional, obedient, and productive immigrants are worthy of staying. We examine the origins of this narrative, its impact on our communities, and why it ultimately serves the interests of systems that profit from our silence and suffering.

From veterans being deported after service to DACA recipients stuck in limbo, we ask: Why do we tie human dignity to perfection? And who gets to decide what “good” even means?

What You’ll Learn

• How the “good immigrant vs. bad immigrant” binary was created and used to control public perception
• Why being respectful, hardworking, and law-abiding doesn’t protect you from detention or deportation
• How trauma within immigrant communities fuels the “I did it the right way” mindset
• Who benefits when immigrants are forced to perform perfection to be seen as human

Real Stories Mentioned

• U.S. Army veteran from Hawaii pressured to self-deport despite 20+ years of residency and military service (NPR, June 2025)
• DACA recipients with no path to permanent status despite full assimilation and contribution to U.S. life
• Asylum seekers denied for not appearing “traumatized enough,” despite fleeing real danger

Call to Action

• Share this episode with someone who believes being “good” is enough
• Reflect on whether you’ve internalized the good immigrant myth, and who it excludes
• Support organizations that advocate for all immigrants, not just the "model" ones
• (e.g., Immigrant Defense Project, United We Dream, and ACLU’s Immigrants’ Rights Project)

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Have a Cup of Johnny
• 1:18 The Good Immigrant Myth Explained
• 3:08 Case Study: Deported Purple Heart Veteran
• 8:19 How Respectability Divides Immigrant Communities
• 11:20 Who Benefits From This Myth
• 16:49 Call to Action and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh we could, we could fly. Welcome back to have a Cup of Johnny. This season isn't about hustling harder. It's about coming home to yourself, to your voice, to your breath, to the quiet truth that you're still here and you're not starting over. You're starting again. This is your space to reflect, reset and remember who to tell you. So pour your cafecito and let's begin.

Speaker 1: 0:37

There's this story we're told again and again If you just work hard, follow the law. If you just work hard, follow the law, pay your taxes, stay quiet, you'll be fine. It's the myth of the good immigrant, the clean-cut dreamer, the grateful soldier, the straight-A student. It's the not-like-those-other-immigrants story. But here's what they don't tell you being good isn't protection, it's performance. And when you stop performing, the safety disappears. This is have a Cup of Johanny, and today's episode is called the Good Immigrant Myth.

Speaker 1: 1:23

How Respectability Politics Divide Us. America loves a makeover story. It loves when someone pulls themselves up by the bootstraps, beats the odds and says thank you for letting me be here. That's the root of the good immigrant myth. You get to stay if you produce, you get respect. If you assimilate, you get rights if you behave. This myth shows up in political speeches. We welcome immigrants who contribute to our economy. We support dreamers, but only if they're in school or serving in the military. It shows up in the media when they highlight the immigrant valedictorian but say nothing about the mother working three jobs and still struggling. And it shows up in our communities when we measure who deserves to stay by how useful they are to this country. But here's the truth. Your humanity should not be tied to your productivity. Citizenship should not be conditional on how well you fit someone else's mold.

Speaker 1: 2:35

Let me give you some real-life examples here Military veterans deported after serving because they had a criminal record or visa that expired. Daca recipients raised here, educated here, working here, still waiting for stability even as their status is used as a bargaining chip. Asylum seekers turned away because they didn't cry enough or because their story didn't sound like a textbook trauma. Let's go in depth into one of these examples. There's a news article dated June 24, 2025 in NPR and was written by Juliana Kim. The title is Purple Heart Army Veterans Self-Deport After Nearly 50 Years in the US. The name of that veteran is Sejun Park.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Sejun Park served. He served for less than a year and came out of service after being shot in Panama. From that experience he incurred PTSD and as we know, ptsd is a crippling condition and during that time that he was suffering from that and he still is, but at that. So he resorted to escapism. That is not the healthiest option and is also illegal, and that was drug use. So during that time in his life he was arrested and he couldn't stay clean for quite a while and because of that, after prison time, park received a removal order but was allowed to stay in the US and required annual check-ins with immigration agents. This was typical for individuals that ICE does not consider a priority for deportation, but that changed earlier this month, as the article stated. At a meeting with the local ICE officials in Hawaii, Park said he was warned that he would be detained and deported unless he left voluntarily within the next few weeks. So he booked his flight and spent his final days in the US playing one last round of golf with his friends, savoring Hawaii's famous garlic shrimp and enjoying his time with his children and 85-year-old mother, before he left to a country that he hadn't lived in years since he was seven.

Speaker 1: 5:09

And this is a very real-life example, very real-life and recent example, and I know people will be well, he brought it upon himself. He used drugs. So this is all within the legal framework, but just because it's legal doesn't mean it's just. Laws change all the time. Context matters and, more importantly, we don't apply these same expectations or consequences to citizens, citizens who commit crimes. We don't exile them. We find them, we incarcerate them things that Park went through. Sometimes we give them access to rehab, but we don't strip them of their humanities and send them to a country they barely know. So why do we do it to immigrants, especially those who serve this country in uniform, as Park had done? So this isn't about protecting the public, because Park was already clean. He is a safe person to be around. He's a human being that does human being things. So he's not a danger to himself or the public.

Speaker 1: 6:19

But what happens is we don't really see them as fully human. So then it's okay for us to do these secondary categories and secondary treatment, and that's so weird, because if service doesn't buy you a second chance, then what does right? When someone serves in the US military, as Park did, we know that they get certain training to kill and die for a country and in Park's case, a country that hadn't fully accepted him. We know that sometimes these experiences that you go through in the military can incur trauma and can lead to PTSD, addiction and instability different types of instability physical, mental, emotional, financial and we know that veterans are sometimes abandoned when they mess up, as if their humanity was only on loan. We don't ask why they needed help, we just judge them for failing. And, most importantly, like I say, if serving doesn't give you a second chance, then what does so?

Speaker 1: 7:41

Once again, it's a different tier to this type of human. Here you serve, you are in uniform, thank you for your service, but you're not fully human in our eyes because you were a resident. You weren't fully human in our eyes because then you made a mistake. You're not fully human in our eyes because you weren't a resident and you made a mistake. You're not fully human in our eyes because you weren't a resident and you made a mistake, and now, because of that, we can treat you in this manner. So this isn't justice, it's punishment without context.

Speaker 1: 8:19

And this logic then assumes that only perfect immigrants deserve to stay, and that's the myth that we're trying to debunk in this episode. Only the good ones deserve rights. Only the good ones deserve to be treated as humans. The rest are disposable. But here's the thing Nobody is all good or bad, and if the bar for belonging is perfection, I hate to break this down to everyone listening, but we're all in danger.

Speaker 1: 8:51

What is it that they say in that movie? Molly, you're in danger, girl. We are all in danger. This isn't just about one person. It's about what kind of country we want to be. If we only protect people when they're useful, quiet and compliant, we're not a nation of laws, we're a nation of fear. And if we only welcome the perfect immigrant, we're not a community. We are a performance, we are a dramatic company, a drama company, a theater.

Speaker 1: 9:25

So yes, park had a drug charge, he messed up, he made a mistake, as a lot of humans do. But are we really saying that, after two decades here, military service, taking a bullet for this country, taking a bullet for this country, building his life back up after he made a mistake, that just that mistake makes him disposable, that his entire existence here meant nothing the moment he wasn't perfect? We don't exile citizens for their pain. We offer them treatment sometimes, recovery sometimes and a second chance. There's a lot of new ones there. But why can't we offer that to immigrants, especially those who've risked their lives for this country.

Speaker 1: 10:14

I'm going to let you sit with that, but this is just only one example that I wanted to tap in and give depth to during this episode, because that is what I am trying to say here is that if we're only giving full human rights to those that are performing, it's not really justice that we're doing here. It's almost as if you can do everything right and the minute you make a mistake, the minute you fall, you lose everything. Even if someone who has worn the uniform, served in the military, played by the rules and then falls and make a mistake and gets a deportation notice later, that is something right there that we should be looking into. But let's keep going, because this good immigrant myth is very pervasive, is seductive. It's very pervasive, it's seductive, but it's also dangerous. It turns us against one another Because now we can whisper you better not mess up, you better not speak up, you better not stand next to those people who make us look bad, and it becomes like this cafeteria fight between us versus them, the good versus the bad.

Speaker 1: 11:49

Air quotes here on good and bad. It teaches us that there is a limited pie, that if we give rights to immigrants who have been incarcerated or who are poor or who came the wrong way quote unquote. Then we might lose our lives, they may see us differently, but here's what that mindset does. It justifies detention and deportation. It silences those who need help the most. It tells kids you better be perfect or you'll be punished. And I know y'all have heard me talk about letting go of perfectionism and how much I had to unlearn and understand that. That came from a trauma in childhood of having to be perfect and that is no way of living, of having that much stress on one's shoulder. And when it comes to this situation here immigrants and the performance of having to put on this mask and live with this mask and having to perform every single day. It's like an unpaid actor trying to get a role and never getting it. It convinces even immigrants to support harmful policies. Hey, all those people that voted a certain way because they're scared of being lumped in with the quote unquote bad ones. This is how respectability becomes a leash, folks. It doesn't offer freedom, it offers a longer chain and it makes you think like you're free, but really you're still tethered people. And while we're not the ones good or bad quote unquote immigrant that benefit from this. Let's talk about who really wins when this myth stays alive. You heard me say this in the last episode. I'll say it again Politicians use it to push anti-immigrant legislation while saying we're only targeting the criminals.

Speaker 1: 13:52

And from what I have seen on social media and heard in real life is that there's a lot of voter remorse because people are like well, I thought only the criminals were going to be targeted. But here's the thing If you're not cognizant of dehumanizing language and how language can be used for violent ways and to entice violence and dehumanizing acts on other people, then you missed the whole plot. You believe this lie, this blatant lie, because when people are asking and getting permission to target certain groups, it never stays with that group. They're just saying let me be unjust, let me be unethical and I want you to be okay with this so that way I can make it legal. If you vote for me, I will make it legal to be unethical, unjust and continue to dehumanize these groups of people, because you're better than these groups of people, you're not a criminal, but you still tether. Your leash is just a little longer than the other group of people. So you're looking at this other group of people, the quote unquote bad immigrants. And you're like I'm better than you, I'm not tethered to this chain like you. But that's a lie. You just don't see the chain because it's long. You think you can move around, but really you cannot. And the entire time, these politicians were targeting you as well, but they bamboozle you into thinking you were one of the good ones. But it's not whether you're good or you're bad.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Both groups have one thing in common immigration. You're both immigrant. You both come from the largest culture, the largest group of people that tend to immigrate to the United States. Therefore, you are all seen as the same. We are all lumped together, so you bought in into the same. We are all lumped together, so you bought in into the lie you got bamboozled into. We are only targeting the criminals. No, they're targeting everyone that looks like you. Bro, look in the mirror. Look in the mirror. You are with that group.

Speaker 1: 16:26

Furthermore, employers use it to exploit workers, and that's what I was commenting someone online when they were like they get free rent. I don't know where people get these so-called quote-unquote facts saying that illegal immigrants are taking housing because they get free rent. I'm like, first of all, they can't even apply because they don't have documentation. Second of all, they don't get free housing. If anything, they get exploited by landlords because they don't have any papers. So not only do they get paid in cash, and probably that landlord doesn't report this right, but secondly that landlord is probably racking up that rent on them because they can, because they're not going to get reported. You see what I'm saying? And if landlords do that, employers also do that. They exploit them. They pay them less. Why? Because this immigrant can't go anywhere and complain about it. They can't put on a lawsuit. They can't do all of this. They can, but they don't do it out of fear.

Speaker 1: 17:42

This myth, right here, the good versus the bad immigrant is so pervasive that it keeps them silent because they don't want to be that bad immigrant that complains. So then that makes this population vulnerable to exploitation. Employers and landlords know this. They know that they can bank on that silent because they will stay silent so that way they don't get tagged as a bad immigrant. Media outlets as well highlights exceptional cases. You've seen them. And then people look at them like see, you need to be like that. They do that because they're easier to digest than messy, complicated truth like Park, like that case I gave you. That's real humanity right there. But we don't want to see it as real humanity. We want to see it as that's a bad immigrant. That immigrant deserves to be deported.

Speaker 1: 18:35

And what about those of us who've internalized this myth and we're from the same community? We start looking at each other sideways, we start believing we're better than them. We start defending a system that would turn on us. Hello, the moment we stop being useful. This myth is not about protection, it's about control. So here's what I want to say to you Whether you're a documented or undocumented citizen or not, squeaky clean or complicated, you don't have to earn your humanity.

Speaker 1: 19:10

I hate to break this down to you. You don't. You're a human being. You're a human being. You're a human being. You don't have to earn that. You don't have to be perfect to be saved. You don't have to sacrifice others to be accepted. We need a system that centers justice, not judgment, compassion not compliance, people not productivity. Because the moment we say only the good ones belong, here we go, we're agreeing that someone else should be the one to decide what good is, and history has told us time and time again that they never choose us for long. All right, if this episode resonated with you, here's what you can do Share it with someone who's ever said at least the good immigrants can stay. Reflect on where that mindset came from in your own family or community, support organizations fighting for all immigrants, not just the ones who fit the mold. In the show notes you'll find resources, data and more stories of those who've done everything right and were still cast out.

Speaker 1: 20:24

Next week Well, next week will be August. I will have to come back with you because I need to think about that, that theme. Let's see what pops up. Okay, check me out on my social medias, because that's where I'll be talking about this, if you want to know what I'll be talking about in August. Nevertheless, stay curious, stay kind, and thank you so much for having this cup with me. I'll see you next Wednesday. Bye, if today's episode spoke to you, share with somebody who's finding their way back too, and if you haven't yet, visit haveacupofjoanniecom for more stories, blog posts and the books that started it all. Thank you for being here. Until next time, be soft, be bold and always have a cup of joannie.