She Whispers Before She Screams

Have you ever ignored the quiet signs your body was sending until it had to scream to get your attention?

In this raw and reflective episode, I share what getting hit with both COVID and the flu taught me about self-trust, resistance, and listening to the whispers before they become breakdowns. From tracking my symptoms to unlearning the lie that pushing through is strength, I open up about the ways we gaslight our own bodies, and what it looks like to stop.

This is an invitation to tune in, slow down, and honor your needs without apology.

Listen now and reclaim the radical act of listening to yourself.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Have a Cup of Johnny
• 1:34 She Whispers Before She Screams
• 4:52 Second-Guessing My Illness
• 8:10 Returning to Core Habits
• 11:33 Tuning In Through Meditation and Journaling
• 13:40 Next Week's Preview: Boundaries

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh we could, we could fly. Welcome back to have a Cup of Johnny. This season isn't about hustling harder. It's about coming home to yourself, to your voice, to your breath, to the quiet truth that you're still here and you're not starting over. You're starting again. This is your space to reflect, reset and remember who we tell you are. So pour your cafecito and let's begin. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the have a Couple Johnny podcast, where we unpack growth, identity and everything in between, one sip at a time.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Of course, this August I am talking you through some of the biggest lessons I've learned at 43. And today's episode is a personal one, and a very recent personal one. It's called she Whispers Before she Screams. Oh, and we're about to be in Halloween season. All right now.

Speaker 1: 1:13

This year has taught me anything is that our bodies are not trying to betray us. They really are not. They're trying to speak to us. The question here is are we listening? Are you ready for this? Of course you are. Let's go.

Speaker 1: 1:34

So let's talk about being sick. Not the sniffles, that's not what I'm talking about here, not the I'll be fine tomorrow kind of sick. Me voy a poner el vivaporuito eso. I mean the kind of sick where your body is shutting down and you're still second-guessing yourself. Yeah, that kind of sick. That happened to me very recently. I felt awful Cold, achy, dizzy, horrible chills, exhausted in a way that deep sleep couldn't even fix it.

Speaker 1: 2:10

I took a COVID and flu test that won the three-in-one test where it has COVID and type A and type B flu. I took that at home. Guess what? It was negative, but something didn't feel right. You know, I'm like. I noted the symptoms, I jotted them down, I knew something was not right, but here was this test in front of me telling me that it was negative. The control line was there, but nothing else, you know. So I hesitated because there's a voice in my head, planted there by years of needing to be strong, needing to be productive, needing to be grateful that whispers, don't be a baby, don't make a big deal out of nothing, you're probably fine. And that voice honestly, nearly convinced, still feeling like crap, feeling okay only because I was satisfying the symptoms with Tylenol.

Speaker 1: 3:37

Took a second three-in-one test at home Control line was there, but nothing else, still negative, and I wanted to stay home. I wanted to stay home, so bad, and then just work through it and probably go to work the next day and be like well, I was a negative, you know, even though I still felt like crap. I still felt sick, ill, abnormally exhausted, and I knew, I knew that what my instinct was, what it always has been, which is toughen it out, don't be a baby. But I took a look at my notes app on my phone because I had written every symptom down and I remember vividly. I was like Joy, you're not going crazy, you're not going crazy, you are feeling this. And I think that's what it took, because I went downstairs and I told my husband I want you to take me to the ER. And, sure enough, I go to the ER. We spent some time registering. You know, ers are you're there for a little bit, you're there for a little bit.

Speaker 1: 5:05

So I also wasn't looking forward to that either, but I go through it and even there I'm still second guessing myself. I'm like should I even do this? You know, am I taking a spot for somebody that is probably sicker than me? But I stick it out. When they take me in the tech, it's like, well, we're going to give. Well, we're going to give you a test. And I'm like, well, I took two and they were negative. And then she's like you know, then they'll go and tap into something else. Because I told her I was like I gave her all my symptoms, I'm like I know I'm not going crazy, you know I'm feeling all of this and sure enough, you know, it takes a few minutes, like 15 to 20 minutes, and then the doctor walks through and she's like well, you have COVID and you have flu type A. And I just looked at her I was like, okay, so I wasn't being dramatic, I wasn't being weak, I was in fact sick and my body had been trying to tell me that from the start.

Speaker 1: 6:19

And that moment cracked something open for me. You know how many times have I dismissed myself, how often have I taught my body that it needs to scream before I listen to it? And that's what saddens me the most. And I'm learning to change that, to tune into the whispers, the tension in my shoulders, the knot in my stomach, the too frequent sighs, the craving of stillness, because our bodies, they always speak to us, but when we ignore them, they raise the volume and eventually they will scream through illness, through shutdown, like what happened to me, through collapse, and then we're forced to listen, but by then it's so much harder to repair what has been pushed too far.

Speaker 1: 7:37

And, like I told you all in the first episode here for this theme in August, the lessons I've learned in my year being the day I had to go back to my core habits that I used to accomplish in the mornings before I even got to work, because that just sets myself up and it sets my day to be a smoother day. It's not always going to be a good day and I'm okay with that, but when I do these habits, I am prepared to take on whatever comes my way. So I took them back up journaling, being grateful, tracking my water consumption, tracking my meals, moving, fitness you know, gonna add the lifting weights again in there, you see, and these are things that I need that work. For me it's not an obsessive thing, right to do, but it's what I need to function right, you see. So it's like I've already done the experiments over and over again on what is my best routine and this is it.

Speaker 1: 8:49

But because life has been lifing, I went like three months without able to do my morning routine and just basically winging it me out of that grounding thing that I have really worked into my day. That just made things so much more easy, you know, so much easier for me in the mornings and when I let go of that, like a lot of things came crashing down. So now that I'm picking it back up again and not just revving it up I've already revved it up but I'm trying not to institute it in the same rhythm as it was before, so that way it's more normalized into my schedule once again. So that way the results of that grounding, that peacefulness, that preparation, that confidence of taking on the day goes back in there in my days and that's what I need. So that way I can integrate, listening to my body once again. Because all of this is connected again, because it's all of this is connected.

Speaker 1: 10:09

You know, when I let go of the habits that keep me healthy, not just physically, but you know mind, body and soul right, all three, then it's no, no surprise really that then there are other things that are going to falter. And I'm not saying that if I wouldn't have kept up my habits right, that I wouldn't have gotten sick. I think I would have caught it earlier on. You know that I was getting sick and it wouldn't have been this bad this time around if I would have maintained my habits and continued on with that rhythm, because part of my habits is meditation, where I do 10 minutes of stillness where I just tune in to my body. But because of the recent moves and changes and family structures that occurred family structures that occurred I went three months without that and that now I can see it's not good for me, you see.

Speaker 1: 11:14

So that's what I'm saying from episode one now to episode two, as I continue on in once again sustaining and building momentum, and maintaining that momentum when it comes to my core habits and listening to my body. Now I think it will pay dividends once again into my body and soul and how I live my life. And, like I said, the mindfulness is one of my core habits that I know for sure can help me into tuning in. But also the journaling is another habit that can help me to note the differences that are happening. You know, how does my body respond to certain foods? How do I feel when I don't sleep well, what happens when I skip the gym or movement or force too much of it, you know. So these two habits are kind of like pillars when it comes to tuning in to my body, meditation and journaling.

Speaker 1: 12:25

So I started to treat myself the way I treat the people that I love, and that is with care, with observation, with patience, and you know what that is slowly changing things in my life. So I want to tell you, like if you've been brushing off that headache, that exhaustion, that feeling that something's off, I want you to listen to it. Your body isn't weak for needing rest. It's wise for asking it and maybe, like me, you're learning that self-trust begins in the body, not in what other people think, not in the test results, but in the knowing that something needs care and giving it that care without delay. So I want to thank you all for listening to, once again, this short episode and the have a Cup of Johnny podcast. I want to thank you for holding space and for walking this path with me. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs a reminder to slow down and listen to themselves.

Speaker 1: 13:34

Next week we're diving into a big one.

Speaker 1: 13:37

Boundaries All right, bacitos, I know I said boundaries, but here I am letting you know that it's still boundaries, okay, but it changed slightly to boundaries that have to do with wearing a mask and going back to work and having people say all these audacious comments that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them, and the lessons that I gained from being there in the moment, hearing all these comments and, of course, responding to each and every one of them with the same energy they gave me. So that will be the next episode that you'll be hearing from me, and I can't wait for you to hear it. It's a funny one. Until then, stay gentle, stay grounded and, as always, don't forget to have a cup of Johnny Bye. If today's episode spoke to you, share with somebody who's finding their way back too, and if you haven't yet, visit haveacupofjoanniecom for more stories, blog posts and the books that started it all. Thank you for being here. Until next time, be soft, be bold and always have a cup of joannie.