"Hi there, you've reached Rob Scarlett at the 2000trees customer service desk, how may I assist you?

"VIP camping was a hike to get to? The beers ran out?  And what was with all the bloody wasps?

"Well, if you have two hours and 11 minutes spare and the patience of a monk, I'd love to talk these issues over with you..."

We go again, every Thursday morning.