The Take It Deep Show
Ep.90 The Humorous Odyssey of Three Basement Broadcasters
Ever found yourself drowning in tzatziki sauce and technical difficulties? Us too. In a whirlwind of a show, we dissect the chaos that ensues when our Facebook page teeters on the brink of deletion, all while debating the fate of our show amidst soundboards gone rogue and a desire to keep the chicken souvlaki coming. But don't fret, we're resolved to stick around—sharing our musings on Carl Weathers and our unwavering commitment to connect with you, our listeners, through every twist and turn.
Buckle up as we blend humor with insight, confronting the stark realities of supremacist ideologies and the evolution of derogatory language—all part of our broadcaster's journey to navigate the tricky waters of moderating online behavior. Yet, it's not all serious; with a side serving of food truck debates and dance floor shenanigans, we keep the conversation as lively as a "really, really dumb criminal" plotting an escape. We're painting the town with laughter and grappling with hefty topics, ensuring you're both enthralled and entertained.
Celebrating our unexpected surge in podcast rankings, we poke fun at ourselves—three basement-dwelling podcasters taking the charts by storm—and share hypothetical stripper scenarios, dad bod pride, and the blueprint for a foolproof bank heist (all in jest, of course). We wrap up with a glimpse into the future of the show, laden with gratitude for your support and teases of new developments. Stick with us, because as we like to say, what we do in life echoes in eternity. Let's make sure those echoes are filled with joy, insight, and a good dose of hilarity.
Ever found yourself drowning in tzatziki sauce and technical difficulties? Us too. In a whirlwind of a show, we dissect the chaos that ensues when our Facebook page teeters on the brink of deletion, all while debating the fate of our show amidst soundboards gone rogue and a desire to keep the chicken souvlaki coming. But don't fret, we're resolved to stick around—sharing our musings on Carl Weathers and our unwavering commitment to connect with you, our listeners, through every twist and turn.
Buckle up as we blend humor with insight, confronting the stark realities of supremacist ideologies and the evolution of derogatory language—all part of our broadcaster's journey to navigate the tricky waters of moderating online behavior. Yet, it's not all serious; with a side serving of food truck debates and dance floor shenanigans, we keep the conversation as lively as a "really, really dumb criminal" plotting an escape. We're painting the town with laughter and grappling with hefty topics, ensuring you're both enthralled and entertained.
Celebrating our unexpected surge in podcast rankings, we poke fun at ourselves—three basement-dwelling podcasters taking the charts by storm—and share hypothetical stripper scenarios, dad bod pride, and the blueprint for a foolproof bank heist (all in jest, of course). We wrap up with a glimpse into the future of the show, laden with gratitude for your support and teases of new developments. Stick with us, because as we like to say, what we do in life echoes in eternity. Let's make sure those echoes are filled with joy, insight, and a good dose of hilarity.
Fucking mush. Alright, we're live.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:See, look it. It still says are we heading towards a fucking revolution?
Speaker 3:Are we my microphone's not on either? I mean it's still a valid question. It is. It is a valid question. I just can't get it off of there. Maybe they know something we don't.
Speaker 1:It's really annoying.
Speaker 3:Sorry, sorry. You know, whenever you're done with your Pepsi, remember sound checking into the other room, remember, remember. Just said it 20 seconds ago, jesus Christ man.
Speaker 4:You ungrateful fuck.
Speaker 3:I am so fucking tired after that chicken Slovakia, I don't even want to do a show. I want to bathe in that tzatziki sauce. I'm telling you right now I don't even want to do a show, I want to bathe in that tzatziki sauce it sounds good. That part sounds good. Play a little something on the computer.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, hey, kevin. What did the computer? Okay, yeah, hey, kevin. What do you think?
Speaker 3:I don't know um all right, here we go, let's play.
Speaker 1:Let me know, kevin, you hear that. Does it sound good coming through the soundboard?
Speaker 3:oh, all right, we got it. That's all we got, that's all, we're good. All right, we got it.
Speaker 1:That's all we got. That's all we're good. All right, all right, yeah, we're good. How about? How about the microphones out? Okay, there's, there's a delay. Okay, we're good. How about how?
Speaker 2:about the microphones out? How about you shut it off? Now Go to your room.
Speaker 4:All right, All righty. Can I get bourbon now Like is that okay, Matty?
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Why is it going to be?
Speaker 1:Like, you don't have to be like that.
Speaker 3:We didn't fix the camera.
Speaker 4:You know when you're done with your yeah, can we fix that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, tell me.
Speaker 1:That'd be a good idea.
Speaker 3:All right, which way are we going?
Speaker 1:You're going to go to your left and you're going to turn. You got to turn that. There we go.
Speaker 4:Does it have to go a little bit more toward?
Speaker 1:the TV?
Speaker 4:No, it's Does it have to go a little bit more toward the TV, no, or toward this wall, that's okay. Like yeah, something like that, and then a little bit of a turn.
Speaker 1:Towards Kevin. Yeah, I mean we can cut him out, that's no problem.
Speaker 3:Right about there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, we're good. All right, welcome to a little TID pre-show. Shit's working for a minute. For now. The adapter's plugged in. Shut up, hey Ben.
Speaker 4:We got Ben on.
Speaker 3:What's up, Bobby?
Speaker 4:I wish I knew how to get rid of that.
Speaker 1:Eh, whatever, we got some people, well, we're going to open it up a little differently.
Speaker 3:We got a little something for you guys today. I feel like I'm going to hit you. Do you want me to put the plate on top?
Speaker 4:of the ice, to keep the ice warm, I don't know, why I have to do this.
Speaker 1:Did you get some kindling outside so you can put?
Speaker 3:something underneath the table? Did you pass the burbs?
Speaker 1:It's a little chilly in here.
Speaker 4:It's not a check at a restaurant, buddy All right Shut up.
Speaker 3:Chicken, slovakia, bourbon, and here we go. This is how we start.
Speaker 1:Two hands right, damn man, what the hell are you doing?
Speaker 4:Where's the chat? We got a comment.
Speaker 1:Fucking Bobby.
Speaker 4:Simon, you thought I would stop this job. I'll kill you Fucking. Come on, come on, get your head on your shoulder man Bobby Simon's fight. Think about the fight.
Speaker 1:Think about the fight.
Speaker 3:Clubber.
Speaker 1:Langton, he's trying to hurt you. Rock, he's trying to hurt you, okay, here he comes Jab he's jabbing, he's jabbing, he's trying to hurt you. You've got to fight him, look like when I was throwing the football against Kevin. It's one of the greatest scenes of all time.
Speaker 3:Come on. What's the matter with you? Tomorrow there is no.
Speaker 4:Tomorrow there is no tomorrow, what we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure if I can do this.
Speaker 4:Yeah, ha ha, nice, that was nice.
Speaker 1:Sunday fun day. No football, though. No, that's the only shitty thing. But we did just have some chicken savaki, and I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 3:Rest in peace, Carl Weathers.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that's rest, not going to lie. Rest in peace, carl Weathers. Yes, and that's. Rest in peace to the good old Apollo Creed, carl Weathers, or.
Speaker 3:Chubbs. And don't forget, everyone never talks about this movie, but he also made Action Jackson.
Speaker 2:He was in the Predator.
Speaker 3:Not a bad movie.
Speaker 1:No, not a bad movie at all, Of course not. See, I hate that heading on the screen. It's really pissing me off and I don't know how to fucking find it or change it, but whatever.
Speaker 3:And he was a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders. Don't forget that either. Was he really? He was Number 49.
Speaker 1:Wow, I never knew that. Kev, did you know something?
Speaker 3:What he knows how to make chicken slovakia. Did you know something what? He knows how to make chicken sobaki Bitch. Oh my God.
Speaker 4:Oh my God, Shut up bitch, Stop talking. Oh my God, oh my God, the treatment I get.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we got to give this to Carl Weathers. You know, great actor, Great golfer. I heard With one hand yes, All right, enough of that. All right, I was going to put it if he dies, he dies with Drago on, but that would have been Nah too soon Too soon. Yeah, next week, that would have been too soon.
Speaker 4:So, had he died, did Alligator get him.
Speaker 3:Shut up, bitch Warren did that. One was Warren.
Speaker 1:How did he? No, he went downhill real quick because he was filming a show with the Mandalorian right, Not the Mandalorian. He was doing a thing with Gronk for the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4:Oh, the kick. Thing.
Speaker 1:I don't even know. They were filming like every day and then he just he was getting up there in age. How old was he, I don't know, 77?
Speaker 4:Had to be, I would think the high 60s, probably over 70. I don't think he was upper 70s.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there's a way for us to find out. Get him to the chopper. Come on, do it. Come on, get to the chopper. Where's Big Tommy? Nowhere to be found.
Speaker 3:Fucking guy stole the K-hole two years later. All right. So just a little announcement, I think this is going to be our last stream from this page because we're going to start a new page due to the fact Are they shutting us down, though, yes, I have video proof or photo proof.
Speaker 4:How are we still here? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I still don't Okay. So here's the story. Ladies and gents, I actually Somebody- actually answered you. No.
Speaker 3:Oh no.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 1:I've asked 14,000 times. Can you please give me specifics on why we are going to have our Facebook?
Speaker 4:page deleted Like are we being punked Because I feel like they wouldn't, let us do this now.
Speaker 1:if that was the case, I totally agree with you 110% on that.
Speaker 3:Has anybody out there had this issue with Facebook before.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there's a fucking few A fake banning.
Speaker 3:Call us on the hotline. We'll call you right back and we can talk about it.
Speaker 4:It's a fake banning.
Speaker 1:No, dude, I got two messages, two fucking messages. From who?
Speaker 3:From the Facebook support.
Speaker 1:So I don't know.
Speaker 3:I mean right now, to be honest with you, we're just poking the bear as opposed to doing the show.
Speaker 1:That's what I said.
Speaker 4:Let's just keep on playing music. Don't we poke the bear anyway Sometimes?
Speaker 3:You know, but sometimes, kev, when you poke the bear the wrong way, you have a problem, hey do see I can add a slide on here and show them what the we might, we might as well, just fucking go all out.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm gonna upload going to upload this file so they can read it and see exactly why.
Speaker 3:Was it Kevin's abusive shenanigans?
Speaker 4:No, the case was titled some sort of trademark copyright thing.
Speaker 3:Fuck again no.
Speaker 4:You know, like there was a list of things that could be, but I think this was some sort of copyright thing. I don't know, who knows.
Speaker 1:I think it was some type of harassment by Kevin. I'm just saying my God.
Speaker 3:Could one of the Facebook support people have been Jewish and listened to Kevin's rants?
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 3:I don't even want to call him the A word. I don't want him to catch us.
Speaker 1:What did you say earlier?
Speaker 3:Adolf, what did you say earlier?
Speaker 1:You know what you said earlier, right? Yeah, I'm not saying that right now.
Speaker 4:Why not? What's?
Speaker 1:wrong with saying that.
Speaker 3:Might as well blow it out now. I'm not saying that, why not?
Speaker 1:What's wrong with saying that? Might as well blow it out now. I'm not saying that right now. See, this is where you said you wanted to go out with a bang if we're going to get kicked off of Facebook.
Speaker 4:Well, I mean, yeah, but I don't want to be labeled anything. You know, Like my supporters Ben Ben's one of my supporters I don't want to let him down.
Speaker 1:Oh it's got to be a fucking PDF. I could do that, can't I? I don't know.
Speaker 3:Ah, whatever, all right.
Speaker 4:So this is what it says it depends on what you were saying about earlier, like the trans, the trainees.
Speaker 1:Oh, here you go. I could share the screen. Very simple, how this works. And we'll do that. We'll share the screen, and we'll do that and share.
Speaker 4:Intellectual property violation. Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, that's what I'm trying to figure out Intellectual property violation. So our message community standards, copyright, hate speech, harassment and bullying, adolf, that's three check marks for Kevin.
Speaker 4:No, I don't think those are check marks for us. I think the bold print is what we're being like, accused of. The bold print is what we're being accused of and their message is those are their things which get you to have one of these fucking cases open. You know?
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 4:Like we were in violation of the intellectual property part.
Speaker 3:You know what? Somehow, someway, I bet it's your Yukon Husky sweatshirt. Oh fuck, you think. Maybe In all seriousness, dude, I wouldn't doubt it fuck.
Speaker 4:You think maybe In all seriousness, dude, I wouldn't doubt it, man.
Speaker 3:Are you serious? I would not doubt it.
Speaker 1:I am not intellectual enough to have any type of fucking charges against me. It's your fault. Again, we're blaming you.
Speaker 4:That's okay, dude.
Speaker 3:Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 1:Is that four?
Speaker 4:We need three more of those for the rest of the show. Dude, I'm married, I'm used to that. You blame me, all you want.
Speaker 1:This might be our last stream. It might not be, we don't know if it's legit, but it doesn't matter. We're still going to create a new page.
Speaker 3:We'll figure out somewhere to get our content to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have some access.
Speaker 3:Because what would you guys do without us? For an hour change on a Sunday evening?
Speaker 1:Spend time with your wives or your kids Octum Jude.
Speaker 3:I believe he's trying to say Auschwitz.
Speaker 1:Aubs 2024? Oh no, yeah, that's a Supreme White race for office.
Speaker 4:Like seriously.
Speaker 3:Master race for president. We gotta stop this crap.
Speaker 1:Come on but it's, I'm not, I'm not there's. They make it so difficult with a lot of shit and the fact that we're getting in trouble for something we don't know trouble for something that's not specified. I asked which post it was.
Speaker 4:Well, it's fucked up that they're not getting back to you.
Speaker 1:But then I was thinking maybe it's because of the photos you posted which ones? I put fag in it and I was calling Kevin a fag. Oh, that's bullying. Yeah, you think so. I mean, how many times can you say fag?
Speaker 3:Right, I mean, no one says fag anymore, yeah or fag it.
Speaker 4:Fag. Yeah, that was a classic, yeah.
Speaker 1:That was a staple.
Speaker 4:Seriously Fag. It was a staple Bone smuggler. What but pirate.
Speaker 3:Ben's used to all these terms.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, we might as well include them all and go carpet muncher. We don't want to single out a particular group.
Speaker 1:Well, most men love carpet munchers.
Speaker 3:It's true.
Speaker 1:Let's be honest.
Speaker 3:I would eat a taco truck every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's dual meeting, pat, yeah, yeah, run with it Run with it.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking when he went with the Chit, savaki Run with it Food truck. Yeah, okay, we're good.
Speaker 4:We're good. You said food truck, you just started drooling a little bit like that drooling emoji.
Speaker 1:I'm not even joking. Be careful, jew, oh Jesus Ben. Wow, be careful, jew, oh Jesus Ben.
Speaker 4:Wow, I hope he's Jewish.
Speaker 3:Ben's firing up the kiln at home.
Speaker 1:Well, it's Travers, his last name's, not Travestine, traversburg Something, but I don't think he is. I don't think he is, so he might be in trouble. Trav Bromowitz.
Speaker 4:Are we in trouble for people's comments Like I mean?
Speaker 3:it's our responsibility.
Speaker 4:How is it a responsibility. We're we're broadcasting live but we're responsible for people's comments.
Speaker 3:Of course we are.
Speaker 4:How yeah?
Speaker 3:The same way, every other talk show and everything that everyone does. They're responsible for the content they put out Live. Yes, we're responsible for-. Why don't you drop a line to Joe Rogan and ask him about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, do you think everything's out of our hands? We can do whatever the fuck we want? I mean what do you think we live in America? I really don't think you know anything about this podcast.
Speaker 4:Kevin Okay, very surprised by this. I mean, what do you think? We live in America. I really don't think you know anything about this podcast, kevin Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 4:Very surprised by this Sorry.
Speaker 2:Fuck you.
Speaker 4:How can we be held responsible by someone's comment in the chat?
Speaker 1:Because you have to actually what's the word I'm looking for? Oversee? Because I can go through the chat and actually delete. Oh shit, Jesus Christ, I can actually delete the comments See look at it.
Speaker 3:Let's be honest Up on the thing I can delete the comment. We've had a couple of Paulie P comments. I can even block people.
Speaker 1:So I got Ben right now. If he wants to be a little sketchy, I can block him. So I got Ben right now. If he wants to be a little sketchy, I can block him.
Speaker 3:I don't think you have the balls enough to block Ben, our number one fan. You can't block our number one fan.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't do that, unless he's a real dick, you know If he does something stupid.
Speaker 3:Feeling a little fucking extra asshole today maybe.
Speaker 1:Possibility. It's so boring that there's no football. They had the Pro Bowl today.
Speaker 3:Oh, stop it.
Speaker 1:Which it was funny as shit. It was pretty funny. You had Eli coaching against Peyton, and what Flag football. But it was crazy, though. I think it was a 50-yard field and what was the final 64-58 or something? They were playing tight D.
Speaker 4:Yeah, totally. You know when the last good Pro Bowl was, when, when fucking Sean Taylor knocked out that fucking punter. You know when he was running with the ball on the sideline and he fucking dude, he, I mean, that's putting it lightly.
Speaker 3:God rest his soul.
Speaker 4:You know like.
Speaker 1:He's one of the best safeties of all time.
Speaker 4:Going too soon because of that fucking bullshit, gunshot one. Yeah, tragic you don't have to tell me.
Speaker 1:He was in Redskin.
Speaker 3:He was one of my faves Fucking home invasion. Oh, by the way, I really hope the fucking Redskins sign Cliff Kingsbury.
Speaker 4:I really fucking hope they do Dude, I thought he was in Thailand, Like, wasn't he in Thailand or something For what I Like? Wasn't he in Thailand or something For what I don't?
Speaker 3:know, didn't he run away to Thailand? I don't know why. Do you know people who run?
Speaker 4:away to Thailand. I swear that was like a rumored thing.
Speaker 3:Are you saying Cliff Kingsbury was getting with lady boys in Thailand?
Speaker 4:I don't know, could be, you know, like, if you're there, like, he was checking under the skirt. You know, like everybody knows, what you run into in Thailand, like why would you go?
Speaker 1:there.
Speaker 3:No, tell us please. I've never been. I've never been to Thailand. Please enlighten us.
Speaker 4:Like you just said, you know the lady voice.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 4:You know, like you knew about it, you travel a lot more than.
Speaker 3:I do Not to Thailand.
Speaker 4:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Just North Jersey. They've been spotted in North Jersey too, Not where I go. Yeah, yours is like real incognito down there Just saying sometimes you check, that's all. But it's like this weekend's just been really boring with sports, Except the Knicks.
Speaker 4:Well, you had the hockey skills too, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:I thought you could watch it because I got to renew the fucking TV thing. I'm getting back there. I was just making my drink.
Speaker 3:You got no TV in the house right now because you didn't renew the subscription.
Speaker 4:I have no cable if you want to call it cable.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Like live TV or whatever.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I just got to hop on the website.
Speaker 3:You never just set up a recurring payment. Never did that before. I can't. Oh shit, Is this something you got to go on and pay every month? Yeah, that's the only one.
Speaker 4:I mean it's $30 a month, but that's the only bad thing. I mean it's $30 a month, but that's the only bad thing. I can't set up a just pay it thing. I don't know, dude, I don't ask questions, I just fucking follow the rules, that's weird.
Speaker 3:Now you don't step out of line. Now you're a rule follower.
Speaker 4:Dude it's $30, bro I'm not saying anything about that.
Speaker 3:It's $30 a month. I'd have that on the fucking phone alarm Like boop boop Got to fucking renew this month.
Speaker 4:Like I get everything.
Speaker 1:I get all the pay-per-views I get yeah, this thing is fucking it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:I know we're going to talk about this because it's going to be time to get rid of all the streaming services and pick this up.
Speaker 1:Whatever came out in theaters you probably got them a few weeks later Like all the shit you can buy or rent on Amazon.
Speaker 4:All free, watch it. That works Sometimes. Sometimes you get a bad link and you can't watch it. I don't know if you've tried or noticed that Anything. I've watched has been good, it doesn't load properly or something.
Speaker 1:I load properly, Are you sure? Sometimes Depends on the day. Another good thing like the only good thing that really happened this weekend is we finally got our fucking.
Speaker 4:Tommy O's watching.
Speaker 1:We finally got what Our domain name, tommy O is fucking awake and he's watching. Tommy O's watching. Is he doing sit-ups and push-ups before his baseball game? Tommy?
Speaker 3:Oster. Fucking call into the hotline. You miserable son of a bitch, you. I miss Tommy. I miss him too.
Speaker 1:We could play the cock voicemail for him.
Speaker 3:People still, even they're still leaving messages for you, tommy you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4:I do, you've got to be so tired of that man.
Speaker 2:What's wrong with that?
Speaker 4:That's like His shmeet, that's like message number 13. We've sent them with that.
Speaker 1:Well, so we finally got our domain name. There's our, I don't know what the buddy's watching. Jimmy the Great. That's our new website, wwwthetakeadeepshowcom.
Speaker 4:Check it out.
Speaker 1:Sign up. Join the fucking mailing list.
Speaker 3:Get on the mailing list, you fuckers.
Speaker 4:Pimp us out, talk about us. Let's get this going. Let's go viral.
Speaker 3:Damn you Oster. Can you call?
Speaker 4:in this show. Please, fucking, make some money off this shit.
Speaker 1:You know, see, now I'm leaving Tom. Tom didn't leave Tom with your big penis. Okay, you and your schmeat, it doesn't matter, it just doesn't.
Speaker 4:You're so obsessed with his fucking stuff.
Speaker 1:I can't help it, especially when his wife said he's five hands thick or long just the mere mention of his penis it got you all fired up.
Speaker 4:I'm wondering what it's like walking around it goes to this weird place where I question you staying here, stop it. I just wonder what it's like walking around.
Speaker 3:He never talks about you like that. No, I don't question you staying here. Stop it, stop it. I just wonder what it's like walking around with a bra joe. You know what?
Speaker 1:He never talks about you like that? No, I just want to know what it's like walking around with a bra joe like that. You know it's. You throw it over your shoulder. What do you do with it? His penis left five minutes ago. He's finally catching up, Hooyah.
Speaker 2:There, you go.
Speaker 1:Ben Leo. There you go, ben. Quote of the day right there. Oh good stuff, ben Maddie.
Speaker 4:Love it Love it.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 1:Good job there, ben. We love it, absolutely love it. Phenomenal. But yeah, so you can go to our website. It's all a little revamped up. Sign up, join the mailing list All our episodes are on there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all our minimal YouTube videos are there From 1 to 80, 90 now right?
Speaker 1:No, we are. I just released 86, 87. So 88's coming out.
Speaker 4:Close, close enough.
Speaker 1:The wrestling one right, bubba Joe's is out there, that's out so that's actually done well numbers-wise.
Speaker 4:Has it. Yeah, if you haven't listened to it yet, that one should be great If you haven't listened to it yet.
Speaker 1:go to Spotify, go to Apple Music, go to freaking Apple Podcasts, google Good Pods, whatever you want to go and listen to it Wherever you go to watch your typical or listen to your typical podcast.
Speaker 3:Matter of fact.
Speaker 1:I mean know what I can do. This is what I can do for you guys. What can you do, Patrick?
Speaker 3:Just talk amongst yourselves, Okay, it's a 50-50 chance that something doesn't break right now.
Speaker 4:What are you doing next weekend?
Speaker 3:I think we're just going to go to Fids. Yeah, yeah, you can join us if you like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Fuck you $65, or you can eat and drink I'll probably end up going to a Prezetta's. Oh, that's nice. It's fucking probably pretty bougie over there. Does he do a Beef Wellington for the Super Bowl? It wouldn't surprise me, no, no.
Speaker 2:No, no, a little pig roast.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's typical Super Bowl fare. Does he get the leg of lamb and put it on the fucking spindle and make gyros and shit?
Speaker 4:No, no, you have the wrongest impression of him.
Speaker 3:He's very bougie.
Speaker 4:Not really A little bit Dude. He's got a sweet vet though, oh my God.
Speaker 3:Yes, tommy, o, you do get a signed headshot of one of us Abso-fucking-lutely Tom Oster.
Speaker 1:We're going to send you a big, life-size, fat head of Matt.
Speaker 4:Big dick pic.
Speaker 1:We should sell fat heads.
Speaker 4:There you go, you want a headshot.
Speaker 1:Free streaming.
Speaker 2:What Actually? Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:This is what you guys do. Matty, just go in front of the camera you guys are going to screenshot if you're watching on your phones and bam, there's your gift. It's all broken up, looks terrible. There's your gift.
Speaker 3:And that's what you get. You think Facebook will kick us off if I drop my pants and give everyone a pressed ham? The second you touch your shorts, Rob. The second you touch your shorts, Rob.
Speaker 1:The second you touch your shorts.
Speaker 2:we're done, that's it.
Speaker 1:I can't, I can't. That's awful Good news. I mean, we have really good news.
Speaker 3:But, Ben, you could wash that sock and use it.
Speaker 1:Ew, not for that. I'm just saying he gets a photo and I get a cum-filled sock. You're welcome.
Speaker 4:If the sock fits.
Speaker 1:That's the gift that keeps on giving Ben, so it doesn't matter. The good news is you guys probably saw in some of our posts that on Good Pods, which is out of 4.2 million podcasts 4.2 million 4.2 million indie podcasts and regular podcasts that have notoriety, we're number three. Four, no, we moved up Matty and I checked it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we moved up from last week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fucking number three, matty and I checked it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we moved up from last week yeah, fucking number three.
Speaker 1:So we're number three, all-time weed podcasts. Still not sure how, I don't know how, but it's a little crazy.
Speaker 3:But that's fine.
Speaker 4:Right Kitty up though.
Speaker 3:Hey, listen, we have a demographic now.
Speaker 1:We are number five in political podcasts Fucking hilarious, which kills me. Thanks Charlie Thompson. And we are just broke the 100, top 100 for comedy podcasts all time, Number 49. Dude, we're funny as fuck.
Speaker 3:Out of 4.2 million Out of 4.2 million.
Speaker 1:We're debuting at number 49.
Speaker 3:Comedy podcast. If we're coming out of 49, imagine what kind of schlock podcasts are out there Really.
Speaker 1:We just found we broke the top 100.
Speaker 3:Top 50. We broke the top 50.
Speaker 4:Are we going to start making money off?
Speaker 1:this thing, I don't know how to. We'll figure it out what? Thank you, ben, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 3:But we are number 49 in the world Comedy podcast.
Speaker 1:Of indie podcasts In the world Top 49. 4.2 million 4.2 million podcasts Total the world.
Speaker 3:The world Must be some schlocky motherfuckers out there for us to get into the top 50.
Speaker 1:That's why, whatever I put up on the website the top in the charts thing, I got to update that on a daily basis.
Speaker 4:Dude, how are we not fucking millionaires if we're number 49 in the world?
Speaker 1:Because we got no sponsors and whatnot. Yeah, maybe you do something. You want to figure out how to do that?
Speaker 3:We're still three dicks in a basement studio talking nonsense.
Speaker 1:Dude if you told me how to figure that out. I'd figure it out, I'm not going to sit here and hold my breath on that. We'll all be dead.
Speaker 4:You got to get that out of my area, bro, like you got a fucking separate desk over there. Man, come on, before something gets spilt.
Speaker 2:Please.
Speaker 3:I don't think this is. You don't have enough fucking room. Swing the mic a little bit.
Speaker 4:Okay, Shut up bitch. I mean, that was my spot.
Speaker 3:But you were so close to me, I mean you were getting pretty tight to Pat. I don't know why Are you not spending enough time with him? That was always my spot, though.
Speaker 4:Oh, wait a minute. Like there's never been an issue up until now.
Speaker 3:Well, you brought the issue up Hold on a second.
Speaker 1:Tommy, wait one second. I'm going to connect you.
Speaker 4:Oh shit, we're calling back again.
Speaker 1:We are the podcast that calls back.
Speaker 3:Is he coming on StreamYard?
Speaker 1:No, he's coming on StreamYard.
Speaker 3:Ben's going back to Montreal in two weeks. We're going to have to do a Boots Underground interview again.
Speaker 2:Call him, call me in what the?
Speaker 1:fuck was that.
Speaker 2:We are the podcast that calls you back. We're calling him back.
Speaker 1:Dude, this phone thing sucks.
Speaker 2:Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Awesome.
Speaker 3:He's probably calling. Can you get to the shmeet?
Speaker 4:He's probably trying to call.
Speaker 1:Are you calling back? What are you doing? We're the only fucking podcast that calls you back. Right, we're hard up for calls. Did Kristen grab your phone?
Speaker 4:We could probably trademark that shit.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. We're the only podcast that calls you back. The podcast that calls you back. That wouldn't be bad. That's actually a great tagline. Look at that Idea, man.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 1:Full of ideas but never comes through with them. That idea man right. Full of ideas but never comes through with them.
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm just the idea guy, like I don't have to come through with them. All right, let's, let's call him again. That's the whole point of being an idea guy there. It is right, like, seriously, like come on, back me up here, man no, you can fucking trademark something.
Speaker 1:Look at this shit, you're going to fucking and now he's not going to answer. Hello.
Speaker 2:Hello, hey.
Speaker 1:Is this Tom Oster?
Speaker 2:No, it's just the TID shit.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is. This is the only podcast that calls you back.
Speaker 3:Tommy-o.
Speaker 1:Tommy-o, what's going?
Speaker 2:on buddy. Was I the 20th caller?
Speaker 1:Yes, you were the 20th caller, and once again you get another autographed fathead from Matt.
Speaker 3:I will send you the other sock to match Ben's. I just got to put a little work into it.
Speaker 2:What are you?
Speaker 3:doing.
Speaker 2:Getting ready for bed, you know.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute, bed, it's 822. Yeah, what time do you go to bed?
Speaker 2:830? 49?.
Speaker 4:Dude, it's what they do in Florida. Everybody's like 90 years old.
Speaker 3:He's eating dinner at 430 in the afternoon.
Speaker 4:Well, the gas station's closed at 10.
Speaker 2:You've got to get that early bird special. You know the buffet. You've got to get that early bird special. You know the buffet. You got to get the dinner at 4.30. By the time you get home. That's fine for a bit.
Speaker 3:So you pay $6 for a $9 steak. You're not going out body surfing.
Speaker 2:So the reason I called yes. Yes, I saw that it was Matt's lovely daughter's birthday last night birthday party. I was wondering if Matt did anything to embarrass himself in front of the family.
Speaker 3:You know what, tom? That is an excellent, excellent answer. Excellent answer or a question?
Speaker 1:rather, that would be a question. You would have an answer. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:This is day three of a three-day bender for me, so just give me a second Chicken souvlaki and Tommy, the answer to your question is no, because my wife grabbed me by the suit lapels at 5 o'clock when we got there and said we will not have another showing like we did at Ariana's Sweet 16 party tonight. Do? You understand me. So what did you do?
Speaker 2:what happened there. Are you going to refresh my memory?
Speaker 3:well, I'm not going to lie to you, there was a lot of alcohol involved and I don't really remember what happened. I think it was a lot, of a lot of me just telling people get the fuck out of the room and things like that.
Speaker 2:You know, typical maddie farbman thing so you, you were well-behaved last night. There was no belligerent yelling at any 16-year-old boys or anything.
Speaker 1:There was no Taiwanese boys being yelled at. No, there was.
Speaker 3:There were no incidents to speak of last night.
Speaker 2:Come here, boy.
Speaker 3:Drank almost a bottle of bourbon and had a couple of beers and managed to hold it together.
Speaker 2:I thought, for sure something would have went down.
Speaker 3:Well, Dawn got pretty lit up last night, which is different. So why?
Speaker 2:Has she been in a coma all?
Speaker 3:day Pretty much. Yeah, she was on the couch the majority of the day, yeah.
Speaker 1:Miss Thunderson was in a coma all day, pretty much. Yeah, she was on the couch the majority of the day. Yeah, ms Thunderson was in a coma, ain't that right, mr Thunderson?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It seems to be going around.
Speaker 2:Was your entire crew there at this bash? What do?
Speaker 3:you mean by my crew.
Speaker 2:Patty and my albs were there.
Speaker 3:Who.
Speaker 1:No, we were not. No, no, no, no. Didn't get the invite we actually got kept off the list.
Speaker 4:And that's totally fine.
Speaker 3:If you motherfuckers knew how expensive this was, you would.
Speaker 4:I'm not Matthew McConaughey. In Days of Confused, I don't need to go to a sweet 16th party.
Speaker 3:See, actually I can have this conversation because Tommy Oster was at my 16th birthday party, which basically consisted of a six-foot Italian wedge and a keg and like 15, 20 people.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but you're not a girl, so yeah, these days. But you could be if you wanted to be.
Speaker 3:Only in Thailand.
Speaker 2:Was there any consumption of the magic wedge the next morning?
Speaker 3:No, there was no magic wedge last night. We did a little buffet style.
Speaker 4:No, no, dude, just bacon-wrapped scallops, bacon-raped.
Speaker 3:And this is why we get thrown off of Facebook. You know Orbs is fucking raping scallops Raping scallops.
Speaker 4:Harassment. These parties have become like weddings. Yeah, dude, you know.
Speaker 3:I actually was calling my daughter Bridezilla leading up to it.
Speaker 2:So what was this black guy with like $75 a plate type of thing?
Speaker 4:I wouldn't doubt $75 a plate.
Speaker 3:It was a black tie, but you're now far off the course, my friend. Where was it at?
Speaker 2:Where was it at? I used to have Maddie money.
Speaker 3:You know what, Tom? When your second daughter, Nathan, has his sweet 16, you can tell me all about it, okay.
Speaker 1:Get off the roof.
Speaker 2:You better tell her that she can't get married for the next 10 years. You got to save back up.
Speaker 3:You ain't lying. I tried to counter with a vacation. I'm like, well, go on vacation. She's like I kind of want to have the party. I'm like, what the fuck? But yeah, it's over and done with now, so it's all good. No, uh, I don't think.
Speaker 4:I don't think Tom can you hear us right now, so I got a good question Tom, can you hear us?
Speaker 1:No, okay, you there. Yeah, we're here. So like when you're having, just so you know we could talk a lot of shit about him right now, because he can't hear anything we're saying Tommy's big dick. No, no, we're right here, don't worry about it, we're good. No, no, no, no, we're good, we're good. Yeah, you're not losing us.
Speaker 4:So when, like sweet 16 parties which have turned into like mini weddings, pretty much yeah, um, is there a like minimum gift expectation?
Speaker 1:you know what I would? It's minimum is whatever per plate but like is that?
Speaker 4:like knowledgeable, like public knowledge, sort of? You know, I I hadn't like what's the what's the give and take here I had zero, zero expectation of that being a bunch of 16-year-old girls coming to this party.
Speaker 3:Yeah, probably all dressed up like dirty trollops, right? Oh my God, it's fucking ridiculous, awful.
Speaker 1:I would think I'd have never had a daughter. Little whores, right, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 4:No offense man, I got one too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we've heard about Thunderson's daughter. It was actually split Like half of them looked like they were 12. I'm like what the fuck's going on here? And then the other ones. You had to look twice Like are you 20? Why are you at this party? Ridonkulous, absolutely ridonkulous.
Speaker 2:So was there like a gift presentation, or are you like trying to gather them like at a wedding and you take it home and open it later?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, she made a box for people to put cards and shit in.
Speaker 4:It's so fucking crazy man, it is, it's insane Like come on. Like how the fuck did that get there.
Speaker 3:What I am going to tell you is the people that came were very generous with the gifts and she did pretty well. She's got a good start on saving up for her first year's car insurance.
Speaker 2:Are we talking about? There's some crisp C-notes rolled up in there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there was a fair amount of C-notes.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 4:A couple of 20s rolled up in, know it's like, are we talking like, uh, like like communion, uh, bar mitzvah level sort of stuff here? Like what? What sort of ranking would you give this?
Speaker 3:I was kind of like a one to five this is kind of kind of middle of the road five being like wedding of course, then it's definitely not a five.
Speaker 4:No, it's probably a three. Yeah, that's up there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, listen I people were very generous. I was very surprised. Well, it's kind not a five.
Speaker 4:No, it's probably a three. Yeah, that's up there.
Speaker 3:Listen, people were very generous. I was very surprised.
Speaker 4:Well, it's kind of like the last one before the wedding. Well, that's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Scott says there definitely were C notes in there.
Speaker 3:Yes, there were, yes, there were.
Speaker 4:I'm like so glad I missed that whole trend.
Speaker 1:Did you actually put some of the Take a Deep Show stickers and stick it in the cards to give back? That's how you say thank you to those people.
Speaker 3:You know what, when she sends out the thank you notes, I'm going to include a Take a Deep Show sticker. There you go.
Speaker 1:That's it. There you go Inside of it. There you go Inside of that. We get a stamp with our website on it and we use the stamp.
Speaker 3:Leo, when you mail these out, put the sticker in.
Speaker 2:I really do got to run, though I got to get to bed.
Speaker 3:Before you go, could you give us a rundown of how you did in old man baseball today?
Speaker 2:I got rare rain out today. Rare rain out.
Speaker 3:Oh no.
Speaker 4:He just said he's got to get the vet and it's the.
Speaker 2:You have one new message. Hey, this is Phil from the Small Wiener Club.
Speaker 3:Sorry to get back to you so late, I just finished reviewing your application and information you sent in, but I am sorry to say that I don't think I can allow you to join our group. From what I'm looking at, your wiener is massive.
Speaker 4:Bro, you have a problem.
Speaker 3:That's.
Speaker 2:Tom Oster's intro music no.
Speaker 1:I thought, it was Big Shot as a stripper.
Speaker 4:You have an obsession and it's not healthy.
Speaker 1:Tom, did you? You know about the episode we had? We thought, like if you were a stripper, what would be your stripper music and what you would be wearing and such? But you would have one of those fanny packs with glitter in it yes, that's what we said and your song would be Big Shot.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:That's it just okay. Would you wear? I'm just curious, would you wear, like an American flag, banana hammock?
Speaker 4:No, like Apollo Creed.
Speaker 2:I think it would be like gold sequined oh Gold member. No, I've been lifting pretty hard, but there's a limit to how good you can get a 48-year-old body, so it would not be very bad.
Speaker 3:We love you, Tommy-O.
Speaker 1:We miss you who cares, you have a dad bod with a horse trunk.
Speaker 2:With an elephant trunk no big deal.
Speaker 1:He's so upset I can't help it. It's like once you think about it, it gets stuck in your head.
Speaker 2:I mean, try to start your show a little bit earlier so that you can get the Florida audience involved. Wow, he's right about that they're all like geriatric and, like AARP, it's lights out down here by nine.
Speaker 3:Do power grids get shut down at nine. Down there Are you living in a camp.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with the HOA rules.
Speaker 1:You're down there at Pauly T's camp.
Speaker 4:I told you, gas stations close at 10, but the guns are open all night.
Speaker 2:There's a rule for everything.
Speaker 3:Oh dude, when I come visit you, I bet I get you fined like at least 300 bucks.
Speaker 2:Eh, what are you going to do? I picked a lot at the very back of the development, so no one really comes back here.
Speaker 3:I'm climbing up on your roof and I'm going to fucking talk all kinds of shit to a bullhorn.
Speaker 2:You can't, you can't do that. I got one of those tile roofs that'll break the tile. Hmm.
Speaker 1:Oh my, what are these photos that Jim Labuddy just sent us? Who is that that's walking around butt naked? What? Oh there's Matt Fardman putting his pants on.
Speaker 3:Oh no. Oh my God, that's Matt.
Speaker 1:Which wedding is this?
Speaker 3:Is that Oregon's wedding? That is me, yep.
Speaker 4:Am I butt?
Speaker 1:naked.
Speaker 4:What are you looking at?
Speaker 1:I don't know, but he's walking around with a bunch.
Speaker 3:No, I can't be butt naked. Let me see that You're walking around strong hanging, All right.
Speaker 4:Tommy, you can go bud. So here's a problem, man, how many times in your life have you walked around naked to where you don't know? Where that is?
Speaker 3:Enough.
Speaker 1:Jimmy wants to know if that photo was taken last night.
Speaker 3:That's fucking great. No, no, no, I actually.
Speaker 4:That was taken in the 90s right. Yes, that had to be 90s?
Speaker 1:I was actually. They're totally too thin in that photo, right that's what I'm saying, pat.
Speaker 3:I was actually asked to do the Kenny King wedding slide on the dance floor last night, but I was asked to keep my pants on yeah, I think I'm the only one that got the best video of that that was a great video yeah, we're gonna have to share that one day.
Speaker 1:No, not so much why I'm sure I could pull tiktok up here.
Speaker 3:Share the screen, no big deal it's on tiktok yeah, yeah, we have it on tiktok my presidential campaign is going to be awesome.
Speaker 1:There's like this emoji, ewok, that appears and disappears. No, you've never seen that. Then again, kevin has no fucking clue about technology.
Speaker 3:None whatsoever. I don't get it. That was nice that Tommy O called in. It was nice to have him back on the show First time out of the K-hole in a couple years.
Speaker 1:Well the fact that he's about to go to bed.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, he's down there in the environment.
Speaker 3:He's getting accustomed to the rules of Florida.
Speaker 1:There's rules of bedtimes.
Speaker 4:It's more of like Way of life. Yeah right, everybody's old man. They all fucking go to bed early.
Speaker 1:He's not old though.
Speaker 4:No, but like he lives in a state where everybody else is.
Speaker 1:So, what.
Speaker 3:You know. So he's just trying to fit in like the Joneses. No way.
Speaker 1:I would figure Kristen's big hands would keep him up.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's why he's going to sleep. He doesn't want to get hit by those five inch wide hands.
Speaker 1:Forget about it.
Speaker 3:He's dead, he doesn't want to take another slap, he is dead. So what happened with Apollo and Drago.
Speaker 1:She's like Drago, I got it. I can understand that Too soon, no, so have you ever witnessed really, really, really, really dumb criminals?
Speaker 3:I mean we probably.
Speaker 4:Not personally.
Speaker 1:We could probably say in this room yeah, I mean yeah, for certain, yes, yes, this is true.
Speaker 3:I mean, do we want to talk about Kevin's bank heist scenario again?
Speaker 4:Oh, dude, that thing is fucking airtight bro.
Speaker 3:Kevin has a daily news headline written already.
Speaker 4:Airtight, just give me the funds, give me the funds, give me the fucking what would he call it? The fronting money. What kind of capital? Some sort of fucking starting capital, what, I don't know All know all right.
Speaker 1:Well, let's just listen.
Speaker 4:To give me some money before we get into our before we get into
Speaker 1:our next bit, let's just take a listen to this real quick now do we have the technology fixed?
Speaker 4:to it. You know what is like a 52 towners road intersection sort of thing, where there's multiple ways to get there.
Speaker 1:First, thing you do. So this is for the ultimate bank, heist it is.
Speaker 4:It's the ultimate bank heist. Two or three explosions. So you scatter the police, you scatter them out. You know away from the central area that you're going to. It's a great tactic. Then you drop a couple of trees across the road.
Speaker 1:Drop a couple of trees, All right. What are you an?
Speaker 3:arborist. Get to beep ready.
Speaker 4:Get to beep ready, oh wait, and you get a fucking Ah.
Speaker 2:You know, you can, okay, you know.
Speaker 4:We're passing here's two grand. I need this tree across this road by this time. You know when are you coming up with this money? Investors, at this point I got investors yeah, investors, man Plus. You know it's also a lot of it's promised money as well. You let a couple of people in on the deal Not too many, because then you got to kill people, which I don't like doing.
Speaker 2:I would hope not.
Speaker 4:I would hope not. Well, yeah, I mean, who wants to kill somebody?
Speaker 3:but I think OBS killed Stacks Edwards right.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy I'm recording this.
Speaker 4:Oh really, yeah okay, well, no, dude, now this is going to go on court and shit. So after the explosions, then you drop the trees and then you fucking hit the bank. As soon as the trees drop, you have hours, you do Hours. Now you have hours, hours, and here's the kicker I got two dirt bikes waiting for me at the bank so I can fucking get out. Dude, I was so drunk. A little bit.
Speaker 1:Well, after listening to that, it leads us into one of our new bits we're going to be doing. Oh my god that was great Nice Dumb. A dumb criminal, dumb, dumb criminal. That's what Kevin. That's the song Kevin's playing while he's driving away on his dirt bike. Kevin's playing while he's driving away on his dirt bike.
Speaker 4:So we searched it out and we tried to find some of the dumbest criminals known to man. Well, recent ones right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that I mean you could have had it in the you know fucking I don't know pass, but this one goes out to this one's great. So robbery suspect shoots himself in his finger while eating pizza stolen from the delivery man. This is in Chicago Suspect who was allegedly robbed robbed a Domino's delivery man accidentally shot himself in the finger while he was eating the stolen pizza. Police said Armando Colon looks like an illegal alien to me, 19 years old, and Deon Reed, 16, ordered two pizzas to be delivered at 3500 Block of West Dickens Avenue on January 14th. Allegedly Allegedly. Officials say Colon was eating the stolen pizza and he accidentally shot himself while he was handling the gun used during the robbery.
Speaker 3:I mean come on, Not for nothing. We used to rob the Domino's pizza guy in college all the time. We never used a gun. Why would you rob him?
Speaker 4:How did you rob the Domino's guy?
Speaker 3:We usually hit him with a super soaker full of bleach and grab the pizzas and take off, and someone will grab his car and drive it to the other side of the campus. What the fuck? What?
Speaker 2:Wait a minute.
Speaker 4:What.
Speaker 3:If you remember, you remember back. Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 4:Dude. What the fuck man? You've been hiding this all this time.
Speaker 3:Do you remember back in the day they used to have the big Ladies? And gentlemen, Do you remember back in the day they used to have the big light on the car, the Domino's pizza delivery light? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we took that too.
Speaker 1:We have breaking news, holy fuck.
Speaker 3:We used to put that on the balcony.
Speaker 1:First off, the fact that you're shooting a delivery pizza man with a super soaker full of bleach.
Speaker 3:What Well? We were fucking poor kids man. No one had any money. We weren't poor enough to get bleach Dude. Super soakers were fucking poor kids man. No one had any money. We weren't poor enough to get bleach Dude super soakers were like 40 bucks, bro.
Speaker 4:You had to have some money.
Speaker 3:You steal that shit out of the laundry room.
Speaker 1:So how Wait okay, so you shot. How were you protecting?
Speaker 3:the pizza? Well, it's in the fucking bag.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's in the box and it's still no, it's in the fucking bag. Yeah, it's in the box and it's still the bag. No, it's fine the bag. Your pizza was in a bag.
Speaker 3:Not a fucking heavy bag. You had a blended pizza. Yeah, the insulated bag.
Speaker 4:Yes, the insulated bag Right, right, right, yes, okay, all right, that makes more sense.
Speaker 3:But bleach, we used to give that.
Speaker 4:I applaud the tactic.
Speaker 1:Of course you do, fucking dirt bikes and trees down.
Speaker 4:I question the motive, though you know, like holy fuck dude, like that's like.
Speaker 3:Drunk and hungry.
Speaker 4:Drunk enough to fucking load up a super.
Speaker 1:Yeah, super soaker.
Speaker 4:Did you have one like a shotgun on the wall, like we did when we were growing up as kids, like my dad had a shotgun on the wall, loaded by the front door. No, no. My dad had a shotgun on the wall loaded by the front door. No, no, no, you didn't have that. No, I'm shocked Because, like I don't know, but anyway, like, how do you have a super soaker ready with bleach?
Speaker 3:We had a super soaker. We went and got some bleach, we put the bleach in it and the rest is history. We ate comfortably that night.
Speaker 1:So the next dumb criminal that we have besides Matt, with fucking.
Speaker 3:I didn't get caught, nor did I shoot my finger with the super sober.
Speaker 1:Now you're the guy that got caught, because you immediately. How do you?
Speaker 4:not get caught. They're at your fucking house.
Speaker 1:Dorm, dorm, yeah, but what about your delivery address?
Speaker 4:Well, it's. What's your delivery address? Do you it's?
Speaker 3:What's your delivery address? Do you actually think that we called it in? I don't know.
Speaker 4:It's the dorm dude. It's the dorm building, it's not a room. Yeah, they're going to be like where's the idiots with the super? Soakers.
Speaker 1:All you got to do is point to the room that has the fraternity.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 3:No Poppycock.
Speaker 1:No, I get the dorm thing. Yeah, no, do you fucking culprit? Culprit what? From anywho so the next, the next idiot or dumb criminal that we have dirt bikes this. Yeah, the guy who had dirt bikes at the fucking at the bank waiting for him.
Speaker 4:Okay, so then the next perfect man it's perfect man it's flawless Kevin shut up Jesus.
Speaker 1:So the next dumb criminal man sentenced after police find loaded gun in his buttocks during strip search.
Speaker 4:Why Right like how fat?
Speaker 1:was that dude A Louise? No, he's skinny as shit.
Speaker 4:Dude. How did he have a gun up his ass?
Speaker 3:His little prison lube. He got up to the trigger. I bet. So it says Justin.
Speaker 4:Like a little derringer or something Like. What the fuck does he have up there?
Speaker 1:Justin Savci, 24, pleaded guilty Friday to weapons charges after police in town of Golden Meadow who were arresting him late last year on a separate matter.
Speaker 4:Dude, I would have been like I don't know how that got there.
Speaker 1:Discovered he had stashed a loaded .25 caliber Titan pistol in his buttocks. I think it's a Titan. Yeah, the funny thing is the smoking gun reports.
Speaker 4:I would have been like listen. I was at a bachelor party.
Speaker 3:I did not put that there.
Speaker 1:I would have been like listen, I was at a bachelor party. I did not put that there. So, Justin, Justin Svici, 24, you get the dumb criminal award for that one. That's terrible. How do you?
Speaker 4:get a copyright. What the fuck man.
Speaker 3:You know I'm a little afraid that Kevin's going to wander into your drum of KY jelly and try to figure something out.
Speaker 1:I wish I had a KY.
Speaker 3:I don't have any. Your 50-gallon drum ran out yeah.
Speaker 1:Months ago. Months ago. So the next dumb criminal it's actually a group of people Drug smugglers got so high they called the cops on themselves. How do you think this one pans out? Let's see how high they were. All right, two men trafficking marijuana across the country got so high that they called 911 to say that the cops weren't arresting them fast enough.
Speaker 4:They were under the impression that the cops were following them, but they weren't.
Speaker 1:It says some people can smoke and chill out, Some people get a little paranoid and others, however rare, get seriously delusional. A couple of guys who were smuggling 20 pounds of weed from Las Vegas to Bozeman, Montana, wound up in jail after apparently getting so high that they called 911 to report that the cops were following them.
Speaker 3:What God bless them.
Speaker 1:Listen, I've smoked before where I've gotten paranoid, so have you Not to the point of yeah.
Speaker 3:Have you ever called the police to your house?
Speaker 4:No, the worst thing I've ever done was like take all my shirts off. You know, Like be like shirtless In the middle of winter. You know Something like that.
Speaker 1:So is this a quote from them? So they politely asked the emergency dispatcher to make those jack wagon cops stop it. This is what it says Hi underneath it, Hi, uh, where the two dumb asses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons and I just like for you guys to end it. If you could help me out with that, we would like to just get on with it.
Speaker 4:That's what they said to the dispatcher. Continue reading though.
Speaker 1:Oh, the cops were not following them, but they definitely showed up after the call.
Speaker 3:Never get high on your own supply.
Speaker 4:So if you keep reading that what they ended up doing was, the cops showed up to where they were and they were standing there with their hands behind their head interlocked with everything on the sidewalk for them to see Like continue reading.
Speaker 3:Oh, I think we're done. I don't, did you get dumber?
Speaker 4:yeah, like that's, that's pretty bad right that's why I took his shirt off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in thailand, there it is kevin got so high, he went to thailand. Hey sweetie, kevin got so high, he went to Thailand. Hey, sweetie, all right, so that goes to dumb fucking criminals.
Speaker 3:Is that a gun or you got?
Speaker 1:something tucked in there. Okay, here we go. This one's from Georgia. Georgia murder suspect tracked down after leaving phone behind a dine and dash scene Okay.
Speaker 4:A Georgia man wanted for murder was busted after he left his phone with a photo of his face on the lock screen at a restaurant where he and his friends dined and dashed.
Speaker 1:What you got to love it. Brian, garfield Fort and pals walked out of the Juicy Crab.
Speaker 1:What kind of restaurant was that Juicy Crab in Cobb County? Without paying, after running up a $100 tab, according to police, the group drove off and the restaurant staff called police. That's like 60 beers there. The group drove off and the restaurant staff called police. That's like 60 beers there. When police arrived, an officer found Ford's phone in the booth where he had been sitting. The phone's lock screen photo was a selfie of Ford, which helped police quickly identify him. Investigators later learned that he was wanted on a murder charge. Holy shit. A restaurant employee snapped a picture of Fort's license plate before he took off and shared it with police.
Speaker 3:I'm just curious was he shirtless?
Speaker 1:he was on his way to Thailand.
Speaker 3:That's what it says with Kevin he was on his way to the airport to meet Albs how did we get there?
Speaker 4:he was also arrested. He was also arrested. I'm just asking how did we get there? Listen to this shit.
Speaker 1:He was also arrested in Gwinnett County last fall after he was spotted walking around the outside of a high school with a shotgun during a football game. So what, maybe he was.
Speaker 3:Do you have a rooting interest? Maybe he was tailgating. A bet perhaps.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's fucking.
Speaker 3:Was he again shirtless?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, the juicy, the juicy crab. Yes, man, yes, that's where the crime was committed. I'm sitting there like I saw the juicy crab. I'm like I feel like something about the Spongebob shit is about to come out.
Speaker 3:The juicy crab is where that dude got in trouble. I'm not even gonna lie to you, I know nothing about it, but I want to go to the juicy crab right now it sounds good, it sounds really good I mean that sounds delicious I wonder what it smells like in that restaurant.
Speaker 1:It smells like Kevin.
Speaker 3:Delicious, shirtless orbs. That's what it smells like. That's going to be a fucking new candle by a fucking what the fuck's that store. I lost my train of thought. Move on All right.
Speaker 1:So here's the last one. Here's the last one for the dumb criminals. Shirtless orbs, it says. A nameless thief in Portland, Oregon, executed the perfect robbery in 2013, or almost perfect. After going through every inch of the house, he had broken into, opening all the drawers and stealing everything of value he could find without leaving any fingerprints. He got thirsty. He grabbed a container of orange juice he found in the refrigerator and took a gulp directly from it, leaving it in the sink. Smart, how is that not going through your head? Be like I just got this out of the fridge. Let me leave it in the sink.
Speaker 3:Maybe he used acid and tried to remove his fingerprints. No, Beforehand.
Speaker 1:No, no, so it says the container was sent straight to the DNA testing unit at the Oregon State Crime Lab, where forensic scientists found the match and the thief got caught.
Speaker 3:He is definitely not on the Kevin Orb's dirt bike team.
Speaker 4:You don't get on that team with shit like that.
Speaker 3:What are the qualifications to get on that team?
Speaker 4:Yeah, not those. No, I mean.
Speaker 1:So that brings us to the good old, dumb criminals. That includes Kevin and his two dirt bikes and the bank heist.
Speaker 4:Dude, I honestly think man. That's fucking great, it's a sound plan, man. It's a sound plan, like if someone were to do it.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm sorry, are you just going to take the 20s Out of the till and put them in a backpack and get away on your little motor scooter?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how is it a sound plan?
Speaker 3:I mean, did you see the size of the bags that they took out of the bank in heat? What are you going to throw one of those on your back on your dirt bike?
Speaker 4:Dude, all I need is one of those bags, man you know what.
Speaker 3:It's not real plausible.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it is, it's not, it isn't, it is man, it is, it is man.
Speaker 3:It is. You get a little fucking crotch rocket balance on it.
Speaker 1:Can we do a blog Dude? I'm not actively trying to do this.
Speaker 4:I'm just saying, this is how you should do it.
Speaker 1:Can we keep a blog and put it at our website, thetakeadeepshowcom?
Speaker 3:Next thing, you know, we'll have an actionable offense against us because someone's going to sue us.
Speaker 1:Like you do a daily blog of what you're getting together and shit. We'll put it on the website.
Speaker 4:Getting together, what Whatever?
Speaker 1:materials you need and shit Putting your team together to do the heist.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll do a daily blog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah we'll post that every day. Like we're adding to the bank robbery fucking list Keeping track of it.
Speaker 3:Like I need a tree guy. I'm sure we can PDF that, preferably somebody with a chainsaw.
Speaker 4:I need two dirt bikes. You know you need a lot of stuff for this. I need some guns Like what are we doing here?
Speaker 3:What kind of hardware are you going in with?
Speaker 1:I'm going in with a super soaker full of chlorine.
Speaker 3:Heavily chlorinated water.
Speaker 4:So if you're going to do it, it like you're gonna go in with something intimidating. You know you're not gonna go into like a little fucking 38. You know like you're gonna come in with like something, with maybe like fucking bump stock or something, you know you don't even know what a bump stock is um, apparently by the, I just used it in the sentence I do you know like I mean. Fuck off, bro. What are you trying to do here, man, like don't don't call my bluff, bro Bumstock just lost his four viewers.
Speaker 1:That's fine, you know it's the womenstock just lost his four viewers. That's fine, you know, it's the women. We just lost the women. Just pick your ass up. Oh no, not that one Shit.
Speaker 4:But you hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yes, I do Right, you know, listen, I know what I would use. I was asking what you would use, well, are we in agreement?
Speaker 4:You know, you don't go in there with a fucking little little fucking derringer. That's the second time I said derringer today.
Speaker 3:I believe I swear to God. I just thought that was Kevin talking just now.
Speaker 1:It sounded exactly like him. Let's listen to that again. That's him. Looks like him.
Speaker 3:Let's listen to that again. I can't tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later. Looks like him.
Speaker 4:Who's Kyle we're going to take. This is true.
Speaker 3:Who's?
Speaker 1:Kyle we're going to take, I might need a whoa. We got those too, don't you worry about that?
Speaker 4:Love that worry about that Ah.
Speaker 2:Love that, fucking love that.
Speaker 4:It's going to be, great.
Speaker 3:Fucking great. Oh so, Keanu, is there any truth to the John Wick 5 rumors I've been hearing? Are we still rolling with this?
Speaker 1:Come on boys. I just saw trailer to Iron man 4.
Speaker 4:I saw something too, yeah.
Speaker 3:Was it a fan-made one, or was it a real?
Speaker 4:one? No, it's a real one, his daughter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, his daughter's the next Iron man. Yeah, it looks insane. Actually, you know what? Let's share that with our viewers. Yeah, yeah, we can.
Speaker 3:Oh, there goes our that's copyright. It's all for YouTube.
Speaker 1:Okay, does that? Don't tell me it's not copyright, shit.
Speaker 3:That looks like Rocky Balboa training I know it's called search engines. All right, I'm just saying that it looks like Rocky Balboa. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Thank God the fucking midget board didn't come up. He's got horse porn because it reminds him of Oster. Sorry, bud, he's all mad. Now Shut up, go to your room, can I at least?
Speaker 3:fix my FX's. He isn't.
Speaker 2:Can I at least fix my FX's?
Speaker 4:Everybody wants a happy ending right yeah, but it doesn't always roll that way.
Speaker 3:Truth, that's the reality Morgan's gonna have to find a way to grow up in Then again.
Speaker 2:That's the hero gig.
Speaker 3:Part of the journey is the end.
Speaker 4:Is that his voice?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love you 3000.
Speaker 3:That's all from Endgame. I love you too. Why's she got an accent? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Let's see Hello.
Speaker 3:Hello.
Speaker 4:Oh my god, it's so fake, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna stop this right now, nothing for nothing there.
Speaker 1:I saw a good one earlier, that wasn't it? Sorry about that, ladies and gents, that sucked. That was poop. Did you see that was?
Speaker 4:poop.
Speaker 3:Can you see the lips? I'm like what the fuck is that? Well, you knew what was wrong when she had an accent. I was like wait a second. No one was rushing in that relationship. I love you too. What?
Speaker 1:Her name's Yolanda Yelena. No, but Iron man 4 is supposed to come out and she's going to be the next. The daughter's supposed to be the next Iron man, yep. And then they have the young. Was the young Avengers? Yes.
Speaker 3:Right, she becomes Ironheart. I believe is the character Ironhard Heart. Heart oh Heart.
Speaker 1:Heart, heart.
Speaker 3:Tom Oster is not in that movie. This is not Brassers.
Speaker 1:That's Tom's trooper name Ironhard.
Speaker 3:Hard as iron. He comes out in an Iron man mask and a thong.
Speaker 4:And a fanny pack With glitter thong and a fanny pack with a glitter glow sticks no, no sparklers, and then you get those poppers gotta be sparklers, we gotta get him to do that one day, so we can just video it.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, this really is it, because that'll be hilarious, that'll be some of the funniest shit you'll ever see. Oh God, I think it's time for us. How long have we been going? A little over an hour.
Speaker 3:Oh, all right, Really yeah, how long have we been going A little over an hour. Oh, all right, really, yeah, wow, that's solid.
Speaker 1:Thank God I came up with something to mend that time together.
Speaker 4:Went pretty fast I feel.
Speaker 1:Well done, patrick, thank you. Thank you, we'll do a better job with that. I think it would be better if we do video clips of that of dumb criminals.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because then we can see in in. You know, we'll put kevin's photo up there, sweet, riding on a motorbike, kevin with a mask that that's only covering his lower face, like lower portion of his face actually. Actually let's, I could tell that bald spot anywhere.
Speaker 3:That's kevin, let's, let's do this to the wow, wow really we're going there easy way to get pinched. Let's, let's, do this to the technical knowledge that we have.
Speaker 4:That's fucking hurtful, bro, pat. Pat, what the fuck man Fuck, you Fuck man.
Speaker 3:Pat, can we get a? Can we get a walkout? Another walkout. He's got to go to the bathroom. That's where he's going.
Speaker 1:He just slammed the door. Well, kev, we don't have to be here. When we get out of here anyways, that's the worst move, anyways.
Speaker 3:What we need is we need a video of Excitebike and we'll just Photoshop Kevin's head on the guy.
Speaker 1:Vroom, vroom. So is this like episode 91? 90? 91? Something like that? We're in the 90s now. We might have lost one in the mix. It's all right. When I was downloading because something happened, it's all right.
Speaker 3:It happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but if you guys want, we would like you to, is go to.
Speaker 3:Go to the website Sign up.
Speaker 1:Go to the Take a Deep Show website TheTake website sign up. Go to the take a deep show website the take a deep showcom. Go to the website. Sign up to our email. You'll get uh first, first dibs and um merch well when we get merch.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't say which I think, which I think we should we we need a new round of merch yeah, but I was thinking of a way to do it like, um, how we can give it away and stuff. Well, that's fine, we just have to figure out a way to pay for it first.
Speaker 3:Yes, correct, so let's get the merch and then we'll worry about having.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, first let's get the equipment, then we worry about the merch. I agree, then we do that because, uh, we got, we got an idea of uh, I gave maddie some, since maddie is uh mr, money bags um so I had to blow him a few times and he said yes, which was great, and I worked out a deal. If you close your eyes, it's just like a woman. But we're going to be changing up some stuff in the studio. Definitely, cameras is probably going to be the big thing.
Speaker 1:Yep Some new cameras, some fresh mics. You're going to have a video camera on everybody's fat face, which is going to be awesome that we're going to have a nice new laptop, new microphone coming in new soundboard.
Speaker 3:Are we going to have a Tommy O Cock camera for when he comes in? It'll be on everyone's face. I just put a GoPro around his waist. It'll be under the table.
Speaker 1:No, tom, just sit here. But then you put, like you dub, in a video of a python just slithering around. That should be great. Put that thing away, oh God. But yeah, so we got a lot of shit going on and can't thank you enough for supporting us so far through these three years, and sooner or later we're going to be in a household name. I think we appreciate you, you know, especially you, ben Big fag.
Speaker 3:Do me a favor. Will you go back to Montreal? Scope out a good place to go this time where we can talk to some people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ben, make sure when you do go to Montreal you're not at a gay bar again.
Speaker 3:Do not go back to the brass rail.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't go to that empty place you were at because it's no bueno, we'll leave it at that. Sounds like an old girlfriend. Love you.
Speaker 3:Ben the juicy crab. It does, it really does.
Speaker 1:But we can't thank you guys enough for the support. Once again, go to our website, thetakeadeepshowcom. We're going to be coming out with a. Enough for the support. Once again, go to our website, the take a deep showcom. Um, we're going to be coming out a new Facebook page. A lot of new stuff coming out, and stay tuned. Hopefully Kevin starts fucking doing some shit.
Speaker 3:I mean, maybe it's cooking, maybe I'll come back in the studio. I don't know. His feelings were hurt when I said the bald spot. He got very upset, no, what so?
Speaker 1:Hey Orbs, hey bud, so we're going to leave it at that. We're kind of slamming the door like a 12-year-old, Not on that note. Take it deep bitches. What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go See you next time.