Deck the Halls with Wacky Christmas Presents

If your holiday playlists lack a certain unpredictable charm, we've got just the remedy with our latest episode! Imagine replacing the classic "Twelve Days of Christmas" with presents so bizarre and comical they make a partridge in a pear tree seem utterly mundane. That's right, this festive season, we're unwrapping a version of the holiday tune that's guaranteed to provoke laughter and maybe a little head-scratching. From "despasito" to "Vicks and Dicks," join us as we count down these wild gifts, each one more outlandish than the last.

Hold onto your Santa hats, as we navigate through the uproarious absurdity of "Ewoks Humping" and the head-tilting "Ewokers periods." There's no guest to blame for this madness – it's all us, reveling in the merriment of our own holiday mischief. By the time we hit "dank woods" and "KY jellies," you'll be wondering if your true love’s gone off the deep end, or if they're the most ingenious gift-giver of all time. Get ready for a holiday episode that's as far from traditional as you can get – full of quips, quirks, and a dose of holiday spirit that's anything but ordinary.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 0:11

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 0:18

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 0:22

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three big Billy Blunders. Just golly, it's fine.

Speaker 1 0:33

Two Tito's for Tommy and a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 0:38

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders.

Speaker 1 0:46

Two Tito's for Tommy. And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 0:51

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five, take it deeps.

Speaker 4 1:00

Four Ewoks Humping, three big Billy Blunders Two.

Speaker 2 1:04

Tito's for Tommy and a despasito in a pear tree On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me six Vicks and Dicks Five take it deeps.

Speaker 4 1:20

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders.

Speaker 2 1:24

Two Tito's for Tommy and a despasito in a pear tree On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me seven big Phil selfies.

Speaker 3 1:36

Six Vicks and Dicks Five. Take it deeps.

Speaker 4 1:42

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 1:47

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 1:50

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eight Ewokers periods, seven big Phil selfies.

Speaker 3 2:01

Six Vicks and Dicks Five. Take it deeps.

Speaker 4 2:08

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 2:12

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 2:15

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me nine angry elves.

Speaker 4 2:23

You really fucked that one up.

Speaker 2 2:25

Sorry, we're gonna leave that. In Eight Ewokers periods, seven big Phil selfies.

Speaker 3 2:33

Seven more Vicks and Dicks, six Vicks and Dicks, tom, oh, and we're off to rail. Five, take it deeps.

Speaker 4 2:42

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 2:47

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 2:50

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ten lizzards.

Speaker 4 2:55

Nine angry elves, eight Ewokers periods. Seven big Phil selfies Six Vicks and Dicks Five take it deeps Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 3:11

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 3:14

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eleven dank woods.

Speaker 1 3:21

Ten light lizards.

Speaker 4 3:22

Nine angry elves.

Speaker 1 3:24

Eight.

Speaker 2 3:24

Ewokers periods Seven big Phil selfies Six Vicks and Dicks Five.

Speaker 3 3:31

take it deeps.

Speaker 4 3:33

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 3:37

And a despasito in a pear tree.

Speaker 2 3:40

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me twelve.

Speaker 4 3:47

KY jellies Eleven dank woods.

Speaker 1 3:50

Ten light lizards.

Speaker 4 3:52

Nine angry elves.

Speaker 2 3:54

Eight Ewokers periods, seven big Phil selfies, six Vicks and Dicks Five.

Speaker 3 4:03

take it deeps.

Speaker 4 4:05

Four Ewoks Humping Three big Billy Blunders, two Tito's for Tommy.

Speaker 1 4:11

And a despasito in a pear tree.