The Take It Deep Show
Welcome to the TID Show, where a dynamic group of friends fearlessly dive into the unfiltered realities of life. With a raw and uncensored approach, we'll have you laughing uncontrollably. Join us on this roller coaster journey through the beautifully chaotic shit storm of life. If you're up for a candid exploration of the ups, downs, and everything in between, you're in for an unforgettable experience. Ready to take the plunge? Welcome to the depths of TID!
The Take It Deep Show
Ep.90 The Humorous Odyssey of Three Basement Broadcasters
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Ever found yourself drowning in tzatziki sauce and technical difficulties? Us too. In a whirlwind of a show, we dissect the chaos that ensues when our Facebook page teeters on the brink of deletion, all while debating the fate of our show amidst soundboards gone rogue and a desire to keep the chicken souvlaki coming. But don't fret, we're resolved to stick around—sharing our musings on Carl Weathers and our unwavering commitment to connect with you, our listeners, through every twist and turn.
Buckle up as we blend humor with insight, confronting the stark realities of supremacist ideologies and the evolution of derogatory language—all part of our broadcaster's journey to navigate the tricky waters of moderating online behavior. Yet, it's not all serious; with a side serving of food truck debates and dance floor shenanigans, we keep the conversation as lively as a "really, really dumb criminal" plotting an escape. We're painting the town with laughter and grappling with hefty topics, ensuring you're both enthralled and entertained.
Celebrating our unexpected surge in podcast rankings, we poke fun at ourselves—three basement-dwelling podcasters taking the charts by storm—and share hypothetical stripper scenarios, dad bod pride, and the blueprint for a foolproof bank heist (all in jest, of course). We wrap up with a glimpse into the future of the show, laden with gratitude for your support and teases of new developments. Stick with us, because as we like to say, what we do in life echoes in eternity. Let's make sure those echoes are filled with joy, insight, and a good dose of hilarity.
Technical Difficulties
Speaker 1Fucking mush. Alright, we're live.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 1See, look it. It still says are we heading towards a fucking revolution?
Speaker 3Are we my microphone's not on either? I mean it's still a valid question. It is. It is a valid question. I just can't get it off of there. Maybe they know something we don't.
Speaker 1It's really annoying.
Speaker 3Sorry, sorry. You know, whenever you're done with your Pepsi, remember sound checking into the other room, remember, remember. Just said it 20 seconds ago, jesus Christ man.
Speaker 4You ungrateful fuck.
Speaker 3I am so fucking tired after that chicken Slovakia, I don't even want to do a show. I want to bathe in that tzatziki sauce. I'm telling you right now I don't even want to do a show, I want to bathe in that tzatziki sauce it sounds good. That part sounds good. Play a little something on the computer.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, hey, kevin. What did the computer? Okay, yeah, hey, kevin. What do you think?
Speaker 3I don't know um all right, here we go, let's play.
Speaker 1Let me know, kevin, you hear that. Does it sound good coming through the soundboard?
Speaker 3oh, all right, we got it. That's all we got, that's all, we're good. All right, we got it.
Speaker 1That's all we got. That's all we're good. All right, all right, yeah, we're good. How about? How about the microphones out? Okay, there's, there's a delay. Okay, we're good. How about how?
Speaker 2about the microphones out? How about you shut it off? Now Go to your room.
Speaker 4All right, All righty. Can I get bourbon now Like is that okay, Matty?
Speaker 3Absolutely. Why is it going to be?
Speaker 1Like, you don't have to be like that.
Speaker 3We didn't fix the camera.
Speaker 4You know when you're done with your yeah, can we fix that?
Speaker 3Yeah, right, tell me.
Speaker 1That'd be a good idea.
Speaker 3All right, which way are we going?
Speaker 1You're going to go to your left and you're going to turn. You got to turn that. There we go.
Speaker 4Does it have to go a little bit more toward?
Speaker 1the TV?
Speaker 4No, it's Does it have to go a little bit more toward the TV, no, or toward this wall, that's okay. Like yeah, something like that, and then a little bit of a turn.
Speaker 1Towards Kevin. Yeah, I mean we can cut him out, that's no problem.
Speaker 3Right about there.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3All right, we're good. All right, welcome to a little TID pre-show. Shit's working for a minute. For now. The adapter's plugged in. Shut up, hey Ben.
Speaker 4We got Ben on.
Speaker 3What's up, Bobby?
Speaker 4I wish I knew how to get rid of that.
Speaker 1Eh, whatever, we got some people, well, we're going to open it up a little differently.
Speaker 3We got a little something for you guys today. I feel like I'm going to hit you. Do you want me to put the plate on top?
Speaker 4of the ice, to keep the ice warm, I don't know, why I have to do this.
Speaker 1Did you get some kindling outside so you can put?
Speaker 3something underneath the table? Did you pass the burbs?
Speaker 1It's a little chilly in here.
Speaker 4It's not a check at a restaurant, buddy All right Shut up.
Speaker 3Chicken, slovakia, bourbon, and here we go. This is how we start.
Speaker 1Two hands right, damn man, what the hell are you doing?
Speaker 4Where's the chat? We got a comment.
Speaker 1Fucking Bobby.
Speaker 4Simon, you thought I would stop this job. I'll kill you Fucking. Come on, come on, get your head on your shoulder man Bobby Simon's fight. Think about the fight.
Speaker 1Think about the fight.
Speaker 3Clubber.
Speaker 1Langton, he's trying to hurt you. Rock, he's trying to hurt you, okay, here he comes Jab he's jabbing, he's jabbing, he's trying to hurt you. You've got to fight him, look like when I was throwing the football against Kevin. It's one of the greatest scenes of all time.
Speaker 3Come on. What's the matter with you? Tomorrow there is no.
Speaker 4Tomorrow there is no tomorrow, what we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 1I'm not sure if I can do this.
Speaker 4Yeah, ha ha, nice, that was nice.
Speaker 1Sunday fun day. No football, though. No, that's the only shitty thing. But we did just have some chicken savaki, and I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 3Rest in peace, Carl Weathers.
Speaker 1Yes, and that's rest, not going to lie. Rest in peace, carl Weathers. Yes, and that's. Rest in peace to the good old Apollo Creed, carl Weathers, or.
Speaker 3Chubbs. And don't forget, everyone never talks about this movie, but he also made Action Jackson.
Speaker 2He was in the Predator.
Speaker 3Not a bad movie.
Speaker 1No, not a bad movie at all, Of course not. See, I hate that heading on the screen. It's really pissing me off and I don't know how to fucking find it or change it, but whatever.
Speaker 3And he was a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders. Don't forget that either. Was he really? He was Number 49.
Speaker 1Wow, I never knew that. Kev, did you know something?
Speaker 3What he knows how to make chicken slovakia. Did you know something what? He knows how to make chicken sobaki Bitch. Oh my God.
Speaker 4Oh my God, Shut up bitch, Stop talking. Oh my God, oh my God, the treatment I get.
Speaker 1Yeah, but we got to give this to Carl Weathers. You know, great actor, Great golfer. I heard With one hand yes, All right, enough of that. All right, I was going to put it if he dies, he dies with Drago on, but that would have been Nah too soon Too soon. Yeah, next week, that would have been too soon.
Speaker 4So, had he died, did Alligator get him.
Speaker 3Shut up, bitch Warren did that. One was Warren.
Speaker 1How did he? No, he went downhill real quick because he was filming a show with the Mandalorian right, Not the Mandalorian. He was doing a thing with Gronk for the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4Oh, the kick. Thing.
Speaker 1I don't even know. They were filming like every day and then he just he was getting up there in age. How old was he, I don't know, 77?
Speaker 4Had to be, I would think the high 60s, probably over 70. I don't think he was upper 70s.
Speaker 1I'm sure there's a way for us to find out. Get him to the chopper. Come on, do it. Come on, get to the chopper. Where's Big Tommy? Nowhere to be found.
Speaker 3Fucking guy stole the K-hole two years later. All right. So just a little announcement, I think this is going to be our last stream from this page because we're going to start a new page due to the fact Are they shutting us down, though, yes, I have video proof or photo proof.
Facebook Page Deletion Discussion
Speaker 4How are we still here? I don't know.
Speaker 1I still don't Okay. So here's the story. Ladies and gents, I actually Somebody- actually answered you. No.
Speaker 3Oh no.
Speaker 4No.
Speaker 1I've asked 14,000 times. Can you please give me specifics on why we are going to have our Facebook?
Speaker 4page deleted Like are we being punked Because I feel like they wouldn't, let us do this now.
Speaker 1if that was the case, I totally agree with you 110% on that.
Speaker 3Has anybody out there had this issue with Facebook before.
Speaker 1I'm sure there's a fucking few A fake banning.
Speaker 3Call us on the hotline. We'll call you right back and we can talk about it.
Speaker 4It's a fake banning.
Speaker 1No, dude, I got two messages, two fucking messages. From who?
Speaker 3From the Facebook support.
Speaker 1So I don't know.
Speaker 3I mean right now, to be honest with you, we're just poking the bear as opposed to doing the show.
Speaker 1That's what I said.
Speaker 4Let's just keep on playing music. Don't we poke the bear anyway Sometimes?
Speaker 3You know, but sometimes, kev, when you poke the bear the wrong way, you have a problem, hey do see I can add a slide on here and show them what the we might, we might as well, just fucking go all out.
Speaker 1Okay, I'm gonna upload going to upload this file so they can read it and see exactly why.
Speaker 3Was it Kevin's abusive shenanigans?
Speaker 4No, the case was titled some sort of trademark copyright thing.
Speaker 3Fuck again no.
Speaker 4You know, like there was a list of things that could be, but I think this was some sort of copyright thing. I don't know, who knows.
Speaker 1I think it was some type of harassment by Kevin. I'm just saying my God.
Speaker 3Could one of the Facebook support people have been Jewish and listened to Kevin's rants?
Speaker 4Wow.
Speaker 3I don't even want to call him the A word. I don't want him to catch us.
Speaker 1What did you say earlier?
Speaker 3Adolf, what did you say earlier?
Speaker 1You know what you said earlier, right? Yeah, I'm not saying that right now.
Speaker 4Why not? What's?
Speaker 1wrong with saying that.
Speaker 3Might as well blow it out now. I'm not saying that, why not?
Speaker 1What's wrong with saying that? Might as well blow it out now. I'm not saying that right now. See, this is where you said you wanted to go out with a bang if we're going to get kicked off of Facebook.
Speaker 4Well, I mean, yeah, but I don't want to be labeled anything. You know, Like my supporters Ben Ben's one of my supporters I don't want to let him down.
Speaker 1Oh it's got to be a fucking PDF. I could do that, can't I? I don't know.
Speaker 3Ah, whatever, all right.
Speaker 4So this is what it says it depends on what you were saying about earlier, like the trans, the trainees.
Speaker 1Oh, here you go. I could share the screen. Very simple, how this works. And we'll do that. We'll share the screen, and we'll do that and share.
Speaker 4Intellectual property violation. Yeah.
Speaker 1All right, that's what I'm trying to figure out Intellectual property violation. So our message community standards, copyright, hate speech, harassment and bullying, adolf, that's three check marks for Kevin.
Speaker 4No, I don't think those are check marks for us. I think the bold print is what we're being like, accused of. The bold print is what we're being accused of and their message is those are their things which get you to have one of these fucking cases open. You know?
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 4Like we were in violation of the intellectual property part.
Speaker 3You know what? Somehow, someway, I bet it's your Yukon Husky sweatshirt. Oh fuck, you think. Maybe In all seriousness, dude, I wouldn't doubt it fuck.
Speaker 4You think maybe In all seriousness, dude, I wouldn't doubt it, man.
Speaker 3Are you serious? I would not doubt it.
Speaker 1I am not intellectual enough to have any type of fucking charges against me. It's your fault. Again, we're blaming you.
Speaker 4That's okay, dude.
Speaker 3Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 1Is that four?
Speaker 4We need three more of those for the rest of the show. Dude, I'm married, I'm used to that. You blame me, all you want.
Speaker 1This might be our last stream. It might not be, we don't know if it's legit, but it doesn't matter. We're still going to create a new page.
Speaker 3We'll figure out somewhere to get our content to you.
Speaker 1Yeah, have some access.
Speaker 3Because what would you guys do without us? For an hour change on a Sunday evening?
Speaker 1Spend time with your wives or your kids Octum Jude.
Speaker 3I believe he's trying to say Auschwitz.
Speaker 1Aubs 2024? Oh no, yeah, that's a Supreme White race for office.
Speaker 4Like seriously.
Speaker 3Master race for president. We gotta stop this crap.
Speaker 1Come on but it's, I'm not, I'm not there's. They make it so difficult with a lot of shit and the fact that we're getting in trouble for something we don't know trouble for something that's not specified. I asked which post it was.
Speaker 4Well, it's fucked up that they're not getting back to you.
Speaker 1But then I was thinking maybe it's because of the photos you posted which ones? I put fag in it and I was calling Kevin a fag. Oh, that's bullying. Yeah, you think so. I mean, how many times can you say fag?
Speaker 3Right, I mean, no one says fag anymore, yeah or fag it.
Speaker 4Fag. Yeah, that was a classic, yeah.
Speaker 1That was a staple.
Speaker 4Seriously Fag. It was a staple Bone smuggler. What but pirate.
Speaker 3Ben's used to all these terms.
Speaker 4Yeah, I mean, we might as well include them all and go carpet muncher. We don't want to single out a particular group.
Speaker 1Well, most men love carpet munchers.
Speaker 3It's true.
Speaker 1Let's be honest.
Speaker 3I would eat a taco truck every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's dual meeting, pat, yeah, yeah, run with it Run with it.
Speaker 1I'm just thinking when he went with the Chit, savaki Run with it Food truck. Yeah, okay, we're good.
Speaker 4We're good. You said food truck, you just started drooling a little bit like that drooling emoji.
Speaker 1I'm not even joking. Be careful, jew, oh Jesus Ben. Wow, be careful, jew, oh Jesus Ben.
Speaker 4Wow, I hope he's Jewish.
Speaker 3Ben's firing up the kiln at home.
Speaker 1Well, it's Travers, his last name's, not Travestine, traversburg Something, but I don't think he is. I don't think he is, so he might be in trouble. Trav Bromowitz.
Speaker 4Are we in trouble for people's comments Like I mean?
Speaker 3it's our responsibility.
Speaker 4How is it a responsibility. We're we're broadcasting live but we're responsible for people's comments.
Speaker 3Of course we are.
Speaker 4How yeah?
Speaker 3The same way, every other talk show and everything that everyone does. They're responsible for the content they put out Live. Yes, we're responsible for-. Why don't you drop a line to Joe Rogan and ask him about that?
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, do you think everything's out of our hands? We can do whatever the fuck we want? I mean what do you think we live in America? I really don't think you know anything about this podcast.
Speaker 4Kevin Okay, very surprised by this. I mean, what do you think? We live in America. I really don't think you know anything about this podcast, kevin Okay.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 4Very surprised by this Sorry.
Speaker 2Fuck you.
Speaker 4How can we be held responsible by someone's comment in the chat?
Speaker 1Because you have to actually what's the word I'm looking for? Oversee? Because I can go through the chat and actually delete. Oh shit, Jesus Christ, I can actually delete the comments See look at it.
Speaker 3Let's be honest Up on the thing I can delete the comment. We've had a couple of Paulie P comments. I can even block people.
Speaker 1So I got Ben right now. If he wants to be a little sketchy, I can block him. So I got Ben right now. If he wants to be a little sketchy, I can block him.
Speaker 3I don't think you have the balls enough to block Ben, our number one fan. You can't block our number one fan.
Speaker 1I wouldn't do that, unless he's a real dick, you know If he does something stupid.
Speaker 3Feeling a little fucking extra asshole today maybe.
Speaker 1Possibility. It's so boring that there's no football. They had the Pro Bowl today.
Speaker 3Oh, stop it.
Speaker 1Which it was funny as shit. It was pretty funny. You had Eli coaching against Peyton, and what Flag football. But it was crazy, though. I think it was a 50-yard field and what was the final 64-58 or something? They were playing tight D.
Speaker 4Yeah, totally. You know when the last good Pro Bowl was, when, when fucking Sean Taylor knocked out that fucking punter. You know when he was running with the ball on the sideline and he fucking dude, he, I mean, that's putting it lightly.
Speaker 3God rest his soul.
Speaker 4You know like.
Speaker 1He's one of the best safeties of all time.
Speaker 4Going too soon because of that fucking bullshit, gunshot one. Yeah, tragic you don't have to tell me.
Speaker 1He was in Redskin.
Speaker 3He was one of my faves Fucking home invasion. Oh, by the way, I really hope the fucking Redskins sign Cliff Kingsbury.
Speaker 4I really fucking hope they do Dude, I thought he was in Thailand, Like, wasn't he in Thailand or something For what I Like? Wasn't he in Thailand or something For what I don't?
Speaker 3know, didn't he run away to Thailand? I don't know why. Do you know people who run?
Speaker 4away to Thailand. I swear that was like a rumored thing.
Speaker 3Are you saying Cliff Kingsbury was getting with lady boys in Thailand?
Speaker 4I don't know, could be, you know, like, if you're there, like, he was checking under the skirt. You know, like everybody knows, what you run into in Thailand, like why would you go?
Speaker 1there.
Speaker 3No, tell us please. I've never been. I've never been to Thailand. Please enlighten us.
Speaker 4Like you just said, you know the lady voice.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 4You know, like you knew about it, you travel a lot more than.
Speaker 3I do Not to Thailand.
Speaker 4Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1Just North Jersey. They've been spotted in North Jersey too, Not where I go. Yeah, yours is like real incognito down there Just saying sometimes you check, that's all. But it's like this weekend's just been really boring with sports, Except the Knicks.
Speaker 4Well, you had the hockey skills too, right.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 4I thought you could watch it because I got to renew the fucking TV thing. I'm getting back there. I was just making my drink.
Speaker 3You got no TV in the house right now because you didn't renew the subscription.
Speaker 4I have no cable if you want to call it cable.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 4Like live TV or whatever.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 4Yeah, I just got to hop on the website.
Speaker 3You never just set up a recurring payment. Never did that before. I can't. Oh shit, Is this something you got to go on and pay every month? Yeah, that's the only one.
Speaker 4I mean it's $30 a month, but that's the only bad thing. I mean it's $30 a month, but that's the only bad thing. I can't set up a just pay it thing. I don't know, dude, I don't ask questions, I just fucking follow the rules, that's weird.
Speaker 3Now you don't step out of line. Now you're a rule follower.
Speaker 4Dude it's $30, bro I'm not saying anything about that.
Speaker 3It's $30 a month. I'd have that on the fucking phone alarm Like boop boop Got to fucking renew this month.
Speaker 4Like I get everything.
Speaker 1I get all the pay-per-views I get yeah, this thing is fucking it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3I know we're going to talk about this because it's going to be time to get rid of all the streaming services and pick this up.
Speaker 1Whatever came out in theaters you probably got them a few weeks later Like all the shit you can buy or rent on Amazon.
Speaker 4All free, watch it. That works Sometimes. Sometimes you get a bad link and you can't watch it. I don't know if you've tried or noticed that Anything. I've watched has been good, it doesn't load properly or something.
Speaker 1I load properly, Are you sure? Sometimes Depends on the day. Another good thing like the only good thing that really happened this weekend is we finally got our fucking.
Speaker 4Tommy O's watching.
Speaker 1We finally got what Our domain name, tommy O is fucking awake and he's watching. Tommy O's watching. Is he doing sit-ups and push-ups before his baseball game? Tommy?
Speaker 3Oster. Fucking call into the hotline. You miserable son of a bitch, you. I miss Tommy. I miss him too.
Speaker 1We could play the cock voicemail for him.
Speaker 3People still, even they're still leaving messages for you, tommy you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4I do, you've got to be so tired of that man.
Speaker 2What's wrong with that?
Speaker 4That's like His shmeet, that's like message number 13. We've sent them with that.
Speaker 1Well, so we finally got our domain name. There's our, I don't know what the buddy's watching. Jimmy the Great. That's our new website, wwwthetakeadeepshowcom.
Speaker 4Check it out.
Speaker 1Sign up. Join the fucking mailing list.
Speaker 3Get on the mailing list, you fuckers.
Speaker 4Pimp us out, talk about us. Let's get this going. Let's go viral.
Speaker 3Damn you Oster. Can you call?
Speaker 4in this show. Please, fucking, make some money off this shit.
Speaker 1You know, see, now I'm leaving Tom. Tom didn't leave Tom with your big penis. Okay, you and your schmeat, it doesn't matter, it just doesn't.
Speaker 4You're so obsessed with his fucking stuff.
Speaker 1I can't help it, especially when his wife said he's five hands thick or long just the mere mention of his penis it got you all fired up.
Speaker 4I'm wondering what it's like walking around it goes to this weird place where I question you staying here, stop it. I just wonder what it's like walking around.
Speaker 3He never talks about you like that. No, I don't question you staying here. Stop it, stop it. I just wonder what it's like walking around with a bra joe. You know what?
Speaker 1He never talks about you like that? No, I just want to know what it's like walking around with a bra joe like that. You know it's. You throw it over your shoulder. What do you do with it? His penis left five minutes ago. He's finally catching up, Hooyah.
Speaker 2There, you go.
Speaker 1Ben Leo. There you go, ben. Quote of the day right there. Oh good stuff, ben Maddie.
Speaker 4Love it Love it.
Speaker 2That's great.
Speaker 1Good job there, ben. We love it, absolutely love it. Phenomenal. But yeah, so you can go to our website. It's all a little revamped up. Sign up, join the mailing list All our episodes are on there.
Speaker 3Yeah, all our minimal YouTube videos are there From 1 to 80, 90 now right?
Speaker 1No, we are. I just released 86, 87. So 88's coming out.
Speaker 4Close, close enough.
Speaker 1The wrestling one right, bubba Joe's is out there, that's out so that's actually done well numbers-wise.
Speaker 4Has it. Yeah, if you haven't listened to it yet, that one should be great If you haven't listened to it yet.
Speaker 1go to Spotify, go to Apple Music, go to freaking Apple Podcasts, google Good Pods, whatever you want to go and listen to it Wherever you go to watch your typical or listen to your typical podcast.
Speaker 3Matter of fact.
Speaker 1I mean know what I can do. This is what I can do for you guys. What can you do, Patrick?
Speaker 3Just talk amongst yourselves, Okay, it's a 50-50 chance that something doesn't break right now.
Speaker 4What are you doing next weekend?
Speaker 3I think we're just going to go to Fids. Yeah, yeah, you can join us if you like.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Podcast Successes and Banter
Speaker 3Fuck you $65, or you can eat and drink I'll probably end up going to a Prezetta's. Oh, that's nice. It's fucking probably pretty bougie over there. Does he do a Beef Wellington for the Super Bowl? It wouldn't surprise me, no, no.
Speaker 2No, no, a little pig roast.
Speaker 3Maybe it's typical Super Bowl fare. Does he get the leg of lamb and put it on the fucking spindle and make gyros and shit?
Speaker 4No, no, you have the wrongest impression of him.
Speaker 3He's very bougie.
Speaker 4Not really A little bit Dude. He's got a sweet vet though, oh my God.
Speaker 3Yes, tommy, o, you do get a signed headshot of one of us Abso-fucking-lutely Tom Oster.
Speaker 1We're going to send you a big, life-size, fat head of Matt.
Speaker 4Big dick pic.
Speaker 1We should sell fat heads.
Speaker 4There you go, you want a headshot.
Speaker 1Free streaming.
Speaker 2What Actually? Yeah, no.
Speaker 1This is what you guys do. Matty, just go in front of the camera you guys are going to screenshot if you're watching on your phones and bam, there's your gift. It's all broken up, looks terrible. There's your gift.
Speaker 3And that's what you get. You think Facebook will kick us off if I drop my pants and give everyone a pressed ham? The second you touch your shorts, Rob. The second you touch your shorts, Rob.
Speaker 1The second you touch your shorts.
Speaker 2we're done, that's it.
Speaker 1I can't, I can't. That's awful Good news. I mean, we have really good news.
Speaker 3But, Ben, you could wash that sock and use it.
Speaker 1Ew, not for that. I'm just saying he gets a photo and I get a cum-filled sock. You're welcome.
Speaker 4If the sock fits.
Speaker 1That's the gift that keeps on giving Ben, so it doesn't matter. The good news is you guys probably saw in some of our posts that on Good Pods, which is out of 4.2 million podcasts 4.2 million 4.2 million indie podcasts and regular podcasts that have notoriety, we're number three. Four, no, we moved up Matty and I checked it.
Speaker 3Yeah, we moved up from last week.
Speaker 1Yeah, fucking number three, matty and I checked it.
Speaker 3Yeah, we moved up from last week yeah, fucking number three.
Speaker 1So we're number three, all-time weed podcasts. Still not sure how, I don't know how, but it's a little crazy.
Speaker 3But that's fine.
Speaker 4Right Kitty up though.
Speaker 3Hey, listen, we have a demographic now.
Speaker 1We are number five in political podcasts Fucking hilarious, which kills me. Thanks Charlie Thompson. And we are just broke the 100, top 100 for comedy podcasts all time, Number 49. Dude, we're funny as fuck.
Speaker 3Out of 4.2 million Out of 4.2 million.
Speaker 1We're debuting at number 49.
Speaker 3Comedy podcast. If we're coming out of 49, imagine what kind of schlock podcasts are out there Really.
Speaker 1We just found we broke the top 100.
Speaker 3Top 50. We broke the top 50.
Speaker 4Are we going to start making money off?
Speaker 1this thing, I don't know how to. We'll figure it out what? Thank you, ben, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 3But we are number 49 in the world Comedy podcast.
Speaker 1Of indie podcasts In the world Top 49. 4.2 million 4.2 million podcasts Total the world.
Speaker 3The world Must be some schlocky motherfuckers out there for us to get into the top 50.
Speaker 1That's why, whatever I put up on the website the top in the charts thing, I got to update that on a daily basis.
Speaker 4Dude, how are we not fucking millionaires if we're number 49 in the world?
Speaker 1Because we got no sponsors and whatnot. Yeah, maybe you do something. You want to figure out how to do that?
Speaker 3We're still three dicks in a basement studio talking nonsense.
Speaker 1Dude if you told me how to figure that out. I'd figure it out, I'm not going to sit here and hold my breath on that. We'll all be dead.
Speaker 4You got to get that out of my area, bro, like you got a fucking separate desk over there. Man, come on, before something gets spilt.
Speaker 2Please.
Speaker 3I don't think this is. You don't have enough fucking room. Swing the mic a little bit.
Speaker 4Okay, Shut up bitch. I mean, that was my spot.
Speaker 3But you were so close to me, I mean you were getting pretty tight to Pat. I don't know why Are you not spending enough time with him? That was always my spot, though.
Speaker 4Oh, wait a minute. Like there's never been an issue up until now.
Speaker 3Well, you brought the issue up Hold on a second.
Speaker 1Tommy, wait one second. I'm going to connect you.
Speaker 4Oh shit, we're calling back again.
Speaker 1We are the podcast that calls back.
Speaker 3Is he coming on StreamYard?
Speaker 1No, he's coming on StreamYard.
Speaker 3Ben's going back to Montreal in two weeks. We're going to have to do a Boots Underground interview again.
Speaker 2Call him, call me in what the?
Speaker 1fuck was that.
Speaker 2We are the podcast that calls you back. We're calling him back.
Speaker 1Dude, this phone thing sucks.
Speaker 2Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Awesome.
Speaker 3He's probably calling. Can you get to the shmeet?
Speaker 4He's probably trying to call.
Speaker 1Are you calling back? What are you doing? We're the only fucking podcast that calls you back. Right, we're hard up for calls. Did Kristen grab your phone?
Speaker 4We could probably trademark that shit.
Speaker 3Absolutely. We're the only podcast that calls you back. The podcast that calls you back. That wouldn't be bad. That's actually a great tagline. Look at that Idea, man.
Speaker 4Right.
Speaker 1Full of ideas but never comes through with them. That idea man right. Full of ideas but never comes through with them.
Speaker 4Oh, I'm just the idea guy, like I don't have to come through with them. All right, let's, let's call him again. That's the whole point of being an idea guy there. It is right, like, seriously, like come on, back me up here, man no, you can fucking trademark something.
Speaker 1Look at this shit, you're going to fucking and now he's not going to answer. Hello.
Speaker 2Hello, hey.
Speaker 1Is this Tom Oster?
Speaker 2No, it's just the TID shit.
Speaker 1Yes, it is. This is the only podcast that calls you back.
Speaker 3Tommy-o.
Speaker 1Tommy-o, what's going?
Speaker 2on buddy. Was I the 20th caller?
Speaker 1Yes, you were the 20th caller, and once again you get another autographed fathead from Matt.
Speaker 3I will send you the other sock to match Ben's. I just got to put a little work into it.
Speaker 2What are you?
Speaker 3doing.
Speaker 2Getting ready for bed, you know.
Speaker 1Wait a minute, bed, it's 822. Yeah, what time do you go to bed?
Speaker 2830? 49?.
Speaker 4Dude, it's what they do in Florida. Everybody's like 90 years old.
Speaker 3He's eating dinner at 430 in the afternoon.
Speaker 4Well, the gas station's closed at 10.
Speaker 2You've got to get that early bird special. You know the buffet. You've got to get that early bird special. You know the buffet. You got to get the dinner at 4.30. By the time you get home. That's fine for a bit.
Speaker 3So you pay $6 for a $9 steak. You're not going out body surfing.
Speaker 2So the reason I called yes. Yes, I saw that it was Matt's lovely daughter's birthday last night birthday party. I was wondering if Matt did anything to embarrass himself in front of the family.
Speaker 3You know what, tom? That is an excellent, excellent answer. Excellent answer or a question?
Speaker 1rather, that would be a question. You would have an answer. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3This is day three of a three-day bender for me, so just give me a second Chicken souvlaki and Tommy, the answer to your question is no, because my wife grabbed me by the suit lapels at 5 o'clock when we got there and said we will not have another showing like we did at Ariana's Sweet 16 party tonight. Do? You understand me. So what did you do?
Speaker 2what happened there. Are you going to refresh my memory?
Speaker 3well, I'm not going to lie to you, there was a lot of alcohol involved and I don't really remember what happened. I think it was a lot, of a lot of me just telling people get the fuck out of the room and things like that.
Speaker 2You know, typical maddie farbman thing so you, you were well-behaved last night. There was no belligerent yelling at any 16-year-old boys or anything.
Speaker 1There was no Taiwanese boys being yelled at. No, there was.
Speaker 3There were no incidents to speak of last night.
Speaker 2Come here, boy.
Speaker 3Drank almost a bottle of bourbon and had a couple of beers and managed to hold it together.
Speaker 2I thought, for sure something would have went down.
Speaker 3Well, Dawn got pretty lit up last night, which is different. So why?
Speaker 2Has she been in a coma all?
Speaker 3day Pretty much. Yeah, she was on the couch the majority of the day, yeah.
Speaker 1Miss Thunderson was in a coma all day, pretty much. Yeah, she was on the couch the majority of the day. Yeah, ms Thunderson was in a coma, ain't that right, mr Thunderson?
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 3It seems to be going around.
Speaker 2Was your entire crew there at this bash? What do?
Speaker 3you mean by my crew.
Speaker 2Patty and my albs were there.
Speaker 3Who.
Speaker 1No, we were not. No, no, no, no. Didn't get the invite we actually got kept off the list.
Speaker 4And that's totally fine.
Speaker 3If you motherfuckers knew how expensive this was, you would.
Speaker 4I'm not Matthew McConaughey. In Days of Confused, I don't need to go to a sweet 16th party.
Speaker 3See, actually I can have this conversation because Tommy Oster was at my 16th birthday party, which basically consisted of a six-foot Italian wedge and a keg and like 15, 20 people.
Speaker 4Yeah, but you're not a girl, so yeah, these days. But you could be if you wanted to be.
Speaker 3Only in Thailand.
Speaker 2Was there any consumption of the magic wedge the next morning?
Speaker 3No, there was no magic wedge last night. We did a little buffet style.
Speaker 4No, no, dude, just bacon-wrapped scallops, bacon-raped.
Speaker 3And this is why we get thrown off of Facebook. You know Orbs is fucking raping scallops Raping scallops.
Speaker 4Harassment. These parties have become like weddings. Yeah, dude, you know.
Speaker 3I actually was calling my daughter Bridezilla leading up to it.
Speaker 2So what was this black guy with like $75 a plate type of thing?
Speaker 4I wouldn't doubt $75 a plate.
Speaker 3It was a black tie, but you're now far off the course, my friend. Where was it at?
Speaker 2Where was it at? I used to have Maddie money.
Speaker 3You know what, Tom? When your second daughter, Nathan, has his sweet 16, you can tell me all about it, okay.
Speaker 1Get off the roof.
Speaker 2You better tell her that she can't get married for the next 10 years. You got to save back up.
Speaker 3You ain't lying. I tried to counter with a vacation. I'm like, well, go on vacation. She's like I kind of want to have the party. I'm like, what the fuck? But yeah, it's over and done with now, so it's all good. No, uh, I don't think.
Speaker 4I don't think Tom can you hear us right now, so I got a good question Tom, can you hear us?
Speaker 1No, okay, you there. Yeah, we're here. So like when you're having, just so you know we could talk a lot of shit about him right now, because he can't hear anything we're saying Tommy's big dick. No, no, we're right here, don't worry about it, we're good. No, no, no, no, we're good, we're good. Yeah, you're not losing us.
Speaker 4So when, like sweet 16 parties which have turned into like mini weddings, pretty much yeah, um, is there a like minimum gift expectation?
Speaker 1you know what I would? It's minimum is whatever per plate but like is that?
Speaker 4like knowledgeable, like public knowledge, sort of? You know, I I hadn't like what's the what's the give and take here I had zero, zero expectation of that being a bunch of 16-year-old girls coming to this party.
Speaker 3Yeah, probably all dressed up like dirty trollops, right? Oh my God, it's fucking ridiculous, awful.
Speaker 1I would think I'd have never had a daughter. Little whores, right, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 4No offense man, I got one too.
Speaker 3Yeah, we've heard about Thunderson's daughter. It was actually split Like half of them looked like they were 12. I'm like what the fuck's going on here? And then the other ones. You had to look twice Like are you 20? Why are you at this party? Ridonkulous, absolutely ridonkulous.
Speaker 2So was there like a gift presentation, or are you like trying to gather them like at a wedding and you take it home and open it later?
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah, she made a box for people to put cards and shit in.
Speaker 4It's so fucking crazy man, it is, it's insane Like come on. Like how the fuck did that get there.
Speaker 3What I am going to tell you is the people that came were very generous with the gifts and she did pretty well. She's got a good start on saving up for her first year's car insurance.
Speaker 2Are we talking about? There's some crisp C-notes rolled up in there.
Speaker 3Yeah, there was a fair amount of C-notes.
Speaker 1Absolutely.
Speaker 4A couple of 20s rolled up in, know it's like, are we talking like, uh, like like communion, uh, bar mitzvah level sort of stuff here? Like what? What sort of ranking would you give this?
Speaker 3I was kind of like a one to five this is kind of kind of middle of the road five being like wedding of course, then it's definitely not a five.
Speaker 4No, it's probably a three. Yeah, that's up there.
Speaker 3Yeah, listen I people were very generous. I was very surprised. Well, it's kind not a five.
Speaker 4No, it's probably a three. Yeah, that's up there.
Speaker 3Listen, people were very generous. I was very surprised.
Speaker 4Well, it's kind of like the last one before the wedding. Well, that's it.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Scott says there definitely were C notes in there.
Speaker 3Yes, there were, yes, there were.
Speaker 4I'm like so glad I missed that whole trend.
Speaker 1Did you actually put some of the Take a Deep Show stickers and stick it in the cards to give back? That's how you say thank you to those people.
Speaker 3You know what, when she sends out the thank you notes, I'm going to include a Take a Deep Show sticker. There you go.
Speaker 1That's it. There you go Inside of it. There you go Inside of that. We get a stamp with our website on it and we use the stamp.
Speaker 3Leo, when you mail these out, put the sticker in.
Speaker 2I really do got to run, though I got to get to bed.
Speaker 3Before you go, could you give us a rundown of how you did in old man baseball today?
Speaker 2I got rare rain out today. Rare rain out.
Speaker 3Oh no.
Speaker 4He just said he's got to get the vet and it's the.
Speaker 2You have one new message. Hey, this is Phil from the Small Wiener Club.
Stripper Music and Rooftop Shenanigans
Speaker 3Sorry to get back to you so late, I just finished reviewing your application and information you sent in, but I am sorry to say that I don't think I can allow you to join our group. From what I'm looking at, your wiener is massive.
Speaker 4Bro, you have a problem.
Speaker 3That's.
Speaker 2Tom Oster's intro music no.
Speaker 1I thought, it was Big Shot as a stripper.
Speaker 4You have an obsession and it's not healthy.
Speaker 1Tom, did you? You know about the episode we had? We thought, like if you were a stripper, what would be your stripper music and what you would be wearing and such? But you would have one of those fanny packs with glitter in it yes, that's what we said and your song would be Big Shot.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 3That's it just okay. Would you wear? I'm just curious, would you wear, like an American flag, banana hammock?
Speaker 4No, like Apollo Creed.
Speaker 2I think it would be like gold sequined oh Gold member. No, I've been lifting pretty hard, but there's a limit to how good you can get a 48-year-old body, so it would not be very bad.
Speaker 3We love you, Tommy-O.
Speaker 1We miss you who cares, you have a dad bod with a horse trunk.
Speaker 2With an elephant trunk no big deal.
Speaker 1He's so upset I can't help it. It's like once you think about it, it gets stuck in your head.
Speaker 2I mean, try to start your show a little bit earlier so that you can get the Florida audience involved. Wow, he's right about that they're all like geriatric and, like AARP, it's lights out down here by nine.
Speaker 3Do power grids get shut down at nine. Down there Are you living in a camp.
Speaker 2Yeah, with the HOA rules.
Speaker 1You're down there at Pauly T's camp.
Speaker 4I told you, gas stations close at 10, but the guns are open all night.
Speaker 2There's a rule for everything.
Speaker 3Oh dude, when I come visit you, I bet I get you fined like at least 300 bucks.
Speaker 2Eh, what are you going to do? I picked a lot at the very back of the development, so no one really comes back here.
Speaker 3I'm climbing up on your roof and I'm going to fucking talk all kinds of shit to a bullhorn.
Speaker 2You can't, you can't do that. I got one of those tile roofs that'll break the tile. Hmm.
Speaker 1Oh my, what are these photos that Jim Labuddy just sent us? Who is that that's walking around butt naked? What? Oh there's Matt Fardman putting his pants on.
Speaker 3Oh no. Oh my God, that's Matt.
Speaker 1Which wedding is this?
Speaker 3Is that Oregon's wedding? That is me, yep.
Speaker 4Am I butt?
Speaker 1naked.
Speaker 4What are you looking at?
Speaker 1I don't know, but he's walking around with a bunch.
Speaker 3No, I can't be butt naked. Let me see that You're walking around strong hanging, All right.
Speaker 4Tommy, you can go bud. So here's a problem, man, how many times in your life have you walked around naked to where you don't know? Where that is?
Speaker 3Enough.
Speaker 1Jimmy wants to know if that photo was taken last night.
Speaker 3That's fucking great. No, no, no, I actually.
Speaker 4That was taken in the 90s right. Yes, that had to be 90s?
Speaker 1I was actually. They're totally too thin in that photo, right that's what I'm saying, pat.
Speaker 3I was actually asked to do the Kenny King wedding slide on the dance floor last night, but I was asked to keep my pants on yeah, I think I'm the only one that got the best video of that that was a great video yeah, we're gonna have to share that one day.
Speaker 1No, not so much why I'm sure I could pull tiktok up here.
Speaker 3Share the screen, no big deal it's on tiktok yeah, yeah, we have it on tiktok my presidential campaign is going to be awesome.
Speaker 1There's like this emoji, ewok, that appears and disappears. No, you've never seen that. Then again, kevin has no fucking clue about technology.
Speaker 3None whatsoever. I don't get it. That was nice that Tommy O called in. It was nice to have him back on the show First time out of the K-hole in a couple years.
Speaker 1Well the fact that he's about to go to bed.
Speaker 4Yeah, well, he's down there in the environment.
Speaker 3He's getting accustomed to the rules of Florida.
Speaker 1There's rules of bedtimes.
Speaker 4It's more of like Way of life. Yeah right, everybody's old man. They all fucking go to bed early.
Speaker 1He's not old though.
Speaker 4No, but like he lives in a state where everybody else is.
Speaker 1So, what.
Speaker 3You know. So he's just trying to fit in like the Joneses. No way.
Speaker 1I would figure Kristen's big hands would keep him up.
Speaker 3Maybe that's why he's going to sleep. He doesn't want to get hit by those five inch wide hands.
Speaker 1Forget about it.
Speaker 3He's dead, he doesn't want to take another slap, he is dead. So what happened with Apollo and Drago.
Speaker 1She's like Drago, I got it. I can understand that Too soon, no, so have you ever witnessed really, really, really, really dumb criminals?
Speaker 3I mean we probably.
Speaker 4Not personally.
Speaker 1We could probably say in this room yeah, I mean yeah, for certain, yes, yes, this is true.
Speaker 3I mean, do we want to talk about Kevin's bank heist scenario again?
Speaker 4Oh, dude, that thing is fucking airtight bro.
Speaker 3Kevin has a daily news headline written already.
Speaker 4Airtight, just give me the funds, give me the funds, give me the fucking what would he call it? The fronting money. What kind of capital? Some sort of fucking starting capital, what, I don't know All know all right.
Speaker 1Well, let's just listen.
Speaker 4To give me some money before we get into our before we get into
Dumb Criminals and Hilarious Heists
Speaker 1our next bit, let's just take a listen to this real quick now do we have the technology fixed?
Speaker 4to it. You know what is like a 52 towners road intersection sort of thing, where there's multiple ways to get there.
Speaker 1First, thing you do. So this is for the ultimate bank, heist it is.
Speaker 4It's the ultimate bank heist. Two or three explosions. So you scatter the police, you scatter them out. You know away from the central area that you're going to. It's a great tactic. Then you drop a couple of trees across the road.
Speaker 1Drop a couple of trees, All right. What are you an?
Speaker 3arborist. Get to beep ready.
Speaker 4Get to beep ready, oh wait, and you get a fucking Ah.
Speaker 2You know, you can, okay, you know.
Speaker 4We're passing here's two grand. I need this tree across this road by this time. You know when are you coming up with this money? Investors, at this point I got investors yeah, investors, man Plus. You know it's also a lot of it's promised money as well. You let a couple of people in on the deal Not too many, because then you got to kill people, which I don't like doing.
Speaker 2I would hope not.
Speaker 4I would hope not. Well, yeah, I mean, who wants to kill somebody?
Speaker 3but I think OBS killed Stacks Edwards right.
Speaker 2I'm so happy I'm recording this.
Speaker 4Oh really, yeah okay, well, no, dude, now this is going to go on court and shit. So after the explosions, then you drop the trees and then you fucking hit the bank. As soon as the trees drop, you have hours, you do Hours. Now you have hours, hours, and here's the kicker I got two dirt bikes waiting for me at the bank so I can fucking get out. Dude, I was so drunk. A little bit.
Speaker 1Well, after listening to that, it leads us into one of our new bits we're going to be doing. Oh my god that was great Nice Dumb. A dumb criminal, dumb, dumb criminal. That's what Kevin. That's the song Kevin's playing while he's driving away on his dirt bike. Kevin's playing while he's driving away on his dirt bike.
Speaker 4So we searched it out and we tried to find some of the dumbest criminals known to man. Well, recent ones right.
Speaker 1Yeah, that I mean you could have had it in the you know fucking I don't know pass, but this one goes out to this one's great. So robbery suspect shoots himself in his finger while eating pizza stolen from the delivery man. This is in Chicago Suspect who was allegedly robbed robbed a Domino's delivery man accidentally shot himself in the finger while he was eating the stolen pizza. Police said Armando Colon looks like an illegal alien to me, 19 years old, and Deon Reed, 16, ordered two pizzas to be delivered at 3500 Block of West Dickens Avenue on January 14th. Allegedly Allegedly. Officials say Colon was eating the stolen pizza and he accidentally shot himself while he was handling the gun used during the robbery.
Speaker 3I mean come on, Not for nothing. We used to rob the Domino's pizza guy in college all the time. We never used a gun. Why would you rob him?
Speaker 4How did you rob the Domino's guy?
Speaker 3We usually hit him with a super soaker full of bleach and grab the pizzas and take off, and someone will grab his car and drive it to the other side of the campus. What the fuck? What?
Speaker 2Wait a minute.
Speaker 4What.
Speaker 3If you remember, you remember back. Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 4Dude. What the fuck man? You've been hiding this all this time.
Speaker 3Do you remember back in the day they used to have the big Ladies? And gentlemen, Do you remember back in the day they used to have the big light on the car, the Domino's pizza delivery light? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we took that too.
Speaker 1We have breaking news, holy fuck.
Speaker 3We used to put that on the balcony.
Speaker 1First off, the fact that you're shooting a delivery pizza man with a super soaker full of bleach.
Speaker 3What Well? We were fucking poor kids man. No one had any money. We weren't poor enough to get bleach Dude. Super soakers were fucking poor kids man. No one had any money. We weren't poor enough to get bleach Dude super soakers were like 40 bucks, bro.
Speaker 4You had to have some money.
Speaker 3You steal that shit out of the laundry room.
Speaker 1So how Wait okay, so you shot. How were you protecting?
Speaker 3the pizza? Well, it's in the fucking bag.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's in the box and it's still no, it's in the fucking bag. Yeah, it's in the box and it's still the bag. No, it's fine the bag. Your pizza was in a bag.
Speaker 3Not a fucking heavy bag. You had a blended pizza. Yeah, the insulated bag.
Speaker 4Yes, the insulated bag Right, right, right, yes, okay, all right, that makes more sense.
Speaker 3But bleach, we used to give that.
Speaker 4I applaud the tactic.
Speaker 1Of course you do, fucking dirt bikes and trees down.
Speaker 4I question the motive, though you know, like holy fuck dude, like that's like.
Speaker 3Drunk and hungry.
Speaker 4Drunk enough to fucking load up a super.
Speaker 1Yeah, super soaker.
Speaker 4Did you have one like a shotgun on the wall, like we did when we were growing up as kids, like my dad had a shotgun on the wall, loaded by the front door. No, no. My dad had a shotgun on the wall loaded by the front door. No, no, no, you didn't have that. No, I'm shocked Because, like I don't know, but anyway, like, how do you have a super soaker ready with bleach?
Speaker 3We had a super soaker. We went and got some bleach, we put the bleach in it and the rest is history. We ate comfortably that night.
Speaker 1So the next dumb criminal that we have besides Matt, with fucking.
Speaker 3I didn't get caught, nor did I shoot my finger with the super sober.
Speaker 1Now you're the guy that got caught, because you immediately. How do you?
Speaker 4not get caught. They're at your fucking house.
Speaker 1Dorm, dorm, yeah, but what about your delivery address?
Speaker 4Well, it's. What's your delivery address? Do you it's?
Speaker 3What's your delivery address? Do you actually think that we called it in? I don't know.
Speaker 4It's the dorm dude. It's the dorm building, it's not a room. Yeah, they're going to be like where's the idiots with the super? Soakers.
Speaker 1All you got to do is point to the room that has the fraternity.
Speaker 4No.
Speaker 3No Poppycock.
Speaker 1No, I get the dorm thing. Yeah, no, do you fucking culprit? Culprit what? From anywho so the next, the next idiot or dumb criminal that we have dirt bikes this. Yeah, the guy who had dirt bikes at the fucking at the bank waiting for him.
Speaker 4Okay, so then the next perfect man it's perfect man it's flawless Kevin shut up Jesus.
Speaker 1So the next dumb criminal man sentenced after police find loaded gun in his buttocks during strip search.
Speaker 4Why Right like how fat?
Speaker 1was that dude A Louise? No, he's skinny as shit.
Speaker 4Dude. How did he have a gun up his ass?
Speaker 3His little prison lube. He got up to the trigger. I bet. So it says Justin.
Speaker 4Like a little derringer or something Like. What the fuck does he have up there?
Speaker 1Justin Savci, 24, pleaded guilty Friday to weapons charges after police in town of Golden Meadow who were arresting him late last year on a separate matter.
Speaker 4Dude, I would have been like I don't know how that got there.
Speaker 1Discovered he had stashed a loaded .25 caliber Titan pistol in his buttocks. I think it's a Titan. Yeah, the funny thing is the smoking gun reports.
Speaker 4I would have been like listen. I was at a bachelor party.
Speaker 3I did not put that there.
Speaker 1I would have been like listen, I was at a bachelor party. I did not put that there. So, Justin, Justin Svici, 24, you get the dumb criminal award for that one. That's terrible. How do you?
Speaker 4get a copyright. What the fuck man.
Speaker 3You know I'm a little afraid that Kevin's going to wander into your drum of KY jelly and try to figure something out.
Speaker 1I wish I had a KY.
Speaker 3I don't have any. Your 50-gallon drum ran out yeah.
Speaker 1Months ago. Months ago. So the next dumb criminal it's actually a group of people Drug smugglers got so high they called the cops on themselves. How do you think this one pans out? Let's see how high they were. All right, two men trafficking marijuana across the country got so high that they called 911 to say that the cops weren't arresting them fast enough.
Speaker 4They were under the impression that the cops were following them, but they weren't.
Speaker 1It says some people can smoke and chill out, Some people get a little paranoid and others, however rare, get seriously delusional. A couple of guys who were smuggling 20 pounds of weed from Las Vegas to Bozeman, Montana, wound up in jail after apparently getting so high that they called 911 to report that the cops were following them.
Speaker 3What God bless them.
Speaker 1Listen, I've smoked before where I've gotten paranoid, so have you Not to the point of yeah.
Speaker 3Have you ever called the police to your house?
Speaker 4No, the worst thing I've ever done was like take all my shirts off. You know, Like be like shirtless In the middle of winter. You know Something like that.
Speaker 1So is this a quote from them? So they politely asked the emergency dispatcher to make those jack wagon cops stop it. This is what it says Hi underneath it, Hi, uh, where the two dumb asses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons and I just like for you guys to end it. If you could help me out with that, we would like to just get on with it.
Speaker 4That's what they said to the dispatcher. Continue reading though.
Dumb Criminals and Their Misadventures
Speaker 1Oh, the cops were not following them, but they definitely showed up after the call.
Speaker 3Never get high on your own supply.
Speaker 4So if you keep reading that what they ended up doing was, the cops showed up to where they were and they were standing there with their hands behind their head interlocked with everything on the sidewalk for them to see Like continue reading.
Speaker 3Oh, I think we're done. I don't, did you get dumber?
Speaker 4yeah, like that's, that's pretty bad right that's why I took his shirt off.
Speaker 1Yeah, in thailand, there it is kevin got so high, he went to thailand. Hey sweetie, kevin got so high, he went to Thailand. Hey, sweetie, all right, so that goes to dumb fucking criminals.
Speaker 3Is that a gun or you got?
Speaker 1something tucked in there. Okay, here we go. This one's from Georgia. Georgia murder suspect tracked down after leaving phone behind a dine and dash scene Okay.
Speaker 4A Georgia man wanted for murder was busted after he left his phone with a photo of his face on the lock screen at a restaurant where he and his friends dined and dashed.
Speaker 1What you got to love it. Brian, garfield Fort and pals walked out of the Juicy Crab.
Speaker 1What kind of restaurant was that Juicy Crab in Cobb County? Without paying, after running up a $100 tab, according to police, the group drove off and the restaurant staff called police. That's like 60 beers there. The group drove off and the restaurant staff called police. That's like 60 beers there. When police arrived, an officer found Ford's phone in the booth where he had been sitting. The phone's lock screen photo was a selfie of Ford, which helped police quickly identify him. Investigators later learned that he was wanted on a murder charge. Holy shit. A restaurant employee snapped a picture of Fort's license plate before he took off and shared it with police.
Speaker 3I'm just curious was he shirtless?
Speaker 1he was on his way to Thailand.
Speaker 3That's what it says with Kevin he was on his way to the airport to meet Albs how did we get there?
Speaker 4he was also arrested. He was also arrested. I'm just asking how did we get there? Listen to this shit.
Speaker 1He was also arrested in Gwinnett County last fall after he was spotted walking around the outside of a high school with a shotgun during a football game. So what, maybe he was.
Speaker 3Do you have a rooting interest? Maybe he was tailgating. A bet perhaps.
Speaker 1Wow, that's fucking.
Speaker 3Was he again shirtless?
Speaker 1No, no, no, the juicy, the juicy crab. Yes, man, yes, that's where the crime was committed. I'm sitting there like I saw the juicy crab. I'm like I feel like something about the Spongebob shit is about to come out.
Speaker 3The juicy crab is where that dude got in trouble. I'm not even gonna lie to you, I know nothing about it, but I want to go to the juicy crab right now it sounds good, it sounds really good I mean that sounds delicious I wonder what it smells like in that restaurant.
Speaker 1It smells like Kevin.
Speaker 3Delicious, shirtless orbs. That's what it smells like. That's going to be a fucking new candle by a fucking what the fuck's that store. I lost my train of thought. Move on All right.
Speaker 1So here's the last one. Here's the last one for the dumb criminals. Shirtless orbs, it says. A nameless thief in Portland, Oregon, executed the perfect robbery in 2013, or almost perfect. After going through every inch of the house, he had broken into, opening all the drawers and stealing everything of value he could find without leaving any fingerprints. He got thirsty. He grabbed a container of orange juice he found in the refrigerator and took a gulp directly from it, leaving it in the sink. Smart, how is that not going through your head? Be like I just got this out of the fridge. Let me leave it in the sink.
Speaker 3Maybe he used acid and tried to remove his fingerprints. No, Beforehand.
Speaker 1No, no, so it says the container was sent straight to the DNA testing unit at the Oregon State Crime Lab, where forensic scientists found the match and the thief got caught.
Speaker 3He is definitely not on the Kevin Orb's dirt bike team.
Speaker 4You don't get on that team with shit like that.
Speaker 3What are the qualifications to get on that team?
Speaker 4Yeah, not those. No, I mean.
Speaker 1So that brings us to the good old, dumb criminals. That includes Kevin and his two dirt bikes and the bank heist.
Speaker 4Dude, I honestly think man. That's fucking great, it's a sound plan, man. It's a sound plan, like if someone were to do it.
Speaker 3Well, I'm sorry, are you just going to take the 20s Out of the till and put them in a backpack and get away on your little motor scooter?
Speaker 1Yeah, how is it a sound plan?
Speaker 3I mean, did you see the size of the bags that they took out of the bank in heat? What are you going to throw one of those on your back on your dirt bike?
Speaker 4Dude, all I need is one of those bags, man you know what.
Speaker 3It's not real plausible.
Speaker 4Yeah, it is, it's not, it isn't, it is man, it is, it is man.
Speaker 3It is. You get a little fucking crotch rocket balance on it.
Speaker 1Can we do a blog Dude? I'm not actively trying to do this.
Speaker 4I'm just saying, this is how you should do it.
Speaker 1Can we keep a blog and put it at our website, thetakeadeepshowcom?
Speaker 3Next thing, you know, we'll have an actionable offense against us because someone's going to sue us.
Speaker 1Like you do a daily blog of what you're getting together and shit. We'll put it on the website.
Speaker 4Getting together, what Whatever?
Speaker 1materials you need and shit Putting your team together to do the heist.
Speaker 3Yeah, we'll do a daily blog.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah we'll post that every day. Like we're adding to the bank robbery fucking list Keeping track of it.
Speaker 3Like I need a tree guy. I'm sure we can PDF that, preferably somebody with a chainsaw.
Speaker 4I need two dirt bikes. You know you need a lot of stuff for this. I need some guns Like what are we doing here?
Speaker 3What kind of hardware are you going in with?
Speaker 1I'm going in with a super soaker full of chlorine.
Speaker 3Heavily chlorinated water.
Speaker 4So if you're going to do it, it like you're gonna go in with something intimidating. You know you're not gonna go into like a little fucking 38. You know like you're gonna come in with like something, with maybe like fucking bump stock or something, you know you don't even know what a bump stock is um, apparently by the, I just used it in the sentence I do you know like I mean. Fuck off, bro. What are you trying to do here, man, like don't don't call my bluff, bro Bumstock just lost his four viewers.
Speaker 1That's fine, you know it's the womenstock just lost his four viewers. That's fine, you know, it's the women. We just lost the women. Just pick your ass up. Oh no, not that one Shit.
Speaker 4But you hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 3Yes, I do Right, you know, listen, I know what I would use. I was asking what you would use, well, are we in agreement?
Speaker 4You know, you don't go in there with a fucking little little fucking derringer. That's the second time I said derringer today.
Speaker 3I believe I swear to God. I just thought that was Kevin talking just now.
Speaker 1It sounded exactly like him. Let's listen to that again. That's him. Looks like him.
Speaker 3Let's listen to that again. I can't tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later. Looks like him.
Speaker 4Who's Kyle we're going to take. This is true.
Speaker 3Who's?
Speaker 1Kyle we're going to take, I might need a whoa. We got those too, don't you worry about that?
Speaker 4Love that worry about that Ah.
Speaker 2Love that, fucking love that.
Speaker 4It's going to be, great.
Speaker 3Fucking great. Oh so, Keanu, is there any truth to the John Wick 5 rumors I've been hearing? Are we still rolling with this?
Speaker 1Come on boys. I just saw trailer to Iron man 4.
Speaker 4I saw something too, yeah.
Speaker 3Was it a fan-made one, or was it a real?
Behind the Scenes Banter and Plans
Speaker 4one? No, it's a real one, his daughter.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, his daughter's the next Iron man. Yeah, it looks insane. Actually, you know what? Let's share that with our viewers. Yeah, yeah, we can.
Speaker 3Oh, there goes our that's copyright. It's all for YouTube.
Speaker 1Okay, does that? Don't tell me it's not copyright, shit.
Speaker 3That looks like Rocky Balboa training I know it's called search engines. All right, I'm just saying that it looks like Rocky Balboa. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 4Thank God the fucking midget board didn't come up. He's got horse porn because it reminds him of Oster. Sorry, bud, he's all mad. Now Shut up, go to your room, can I at least?
Speaker 3fix my FX's. He isn't.
Speaker 2Can I at least fix my FX's?
Speaker 4Everybody wants a happy ending right yeah, but it doesn't always roll that way.
Speaker 3Truth, that's the reality Morgan's gonna have to find a way to grow up in Then again.
Speaker 2That's the hero gig.
Speaker 3Part of the journey is the end.
Speaker 4Is that his voice?
Speaker 1Yeah, I love you 3000.
Speaker 3That's all from Endgame. I love you too. Why's she got an accent? I don't know.
Speaker 2Let's see Hello.
Speaker 3Hello.
Speaker 4Oh my god, it's so fake, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 2I'm just gonna stop this right now, nothing for nothing there.
Speaker 1I saw a good one earlier, that wasn't it? Sorry about that, ladies and gents, that sucked. That was poop. Did you see that was?
Speaker 4poop.
Speaker 3Can you see the lips? I'm like what the fuck is that? Well, you knew what was wrong when she had an accent. I was like wait a second. No one was rushing in that relationship. I love you too. What?
Speaker 1Her name's Yolanda Yelena. No, but Iron man 4 is supposed to come out and she's going to be the next. The daughter's supposed to be the next Iron man, yep. And then they have the young. Was the young Avengers? Yes.
Speaker 3Right, she becomes Ironheart. I believe is the character Ironhard Heart. Heart oh Heart.
Speaker 1Heart, heart.
Speaker 3Tom Oster is not in that movie. This is not Brassers.
Speaker 1That's Tom's trooper name Ironhard.
Speaker 3Hard as iron. He comes out in an Iron man mask and a thong.
Speaker 4And a fanny pack With glitter thong and a fanny pack with a glitter glow sticks no, no sparklers, and then you get those poppers gotta be sparklers, we gotta get him to do that one day, so we can just video it.
Speaker 1Oh my God, this really is it, because that'll be hilarious, that'll be some of the funniest shit you'll ever see. Oh God, I think it's time for us. How long have we been going? A little over an hour.
Speaker 3Oh, all right, Really yeah, how long have we been going A little over an hour. Oh, all right, really, yeah, wow, that's solid.
Speaker 1Thank God I came up with something to mend that time together.
Speaker 4Went pretty fast I feel.
Speaker 1Well done, patrick, thank you. Thank you, we'll do a better job with that. I think it would be better if we do video clips of that of dumb criminals.
Speaker 3Yes.
Speaker 1Yeah, because then we can see in in. You know, we'll put kevin's photo up there, sweet, riding on a motorbike, kevin with a mask that that's only covering his lower face, like lower portion of his face actually. Actually let's, I could tell that bald spot anywhere.
Speaker 3That's kevin, let's, let's do this to the wow, wow really we're going there easy way to get pinched. Let's, let's, do this to the technical knowledge that we have.
Speaker 4That's fucking hurtful, bro, pat. Pat, what the fuck man Fuck, you Fuck man.
Speaker 3Pat, can we get a? Can we get a walkout? Another walkout. He's got to go to the bathroom. That's where he's going.
Speaker 1He just slammed the door. Well, kev, we don't have to be here. When we get out of here anyways, that's the worst move, anyways.
Speaker 3What we need is we need a video of Excitebike and we'll just Photoshop Kevin's head on the guy.
Speaker 1Vroom, vroom. So is this like episode 91? 90? 91? Something like that? We're in the 90s now. We might have lost one in the mix. It's all right. When I was downloading because something happened, it's all right.
Speaker 3It happens.
Speaker 1Yeah, but if you guys want, we would like you to, is go to.
Speaker 3Go to the website Sign up.
Speaker 1Go to the Take a Deep Show website TheTake website sign up. Go to the take a deep show website the take a deep showcom. Go to the website. Sign up to our email. You'll get uh first, first dibs and um merch well when we get merch.
Speaker 1Well, I didn't say which I think, which I think we should we we need a new round of merch yeah, but I was thinking of a way to do it like, um, how we can give it away and stuff. Well, that's fine, we just have to figure out a way to pay for it first.
Speaker 3Yes, correct, so let's get the merch and then we'll worry about having.
Speaker 1Yeah, well, first let's get the equipment, then we worry about the merch. I agree, then we do that because, uh, we got, we got an idea of uh, I gave maddie some, since maddie is uh mr, money bags um so I had to blow him a few times and he said yes, which was great, and I worked out a deal. If you close your eyes, it's just like a woman. But we're going to be changing up some stuff in the studio. Definitely, cameras is probably going to be the big thing.
Speaker 1Yep Some new cameras, some fresh mics. You're going to have a video camera on everybody's fat face, which is going to be awesome that we're going to have a nice new laptop, new microphone coming in new soundboard.
Speaker 3Are we going to have a Tommy O Cock camera for when he comes in? It'll be on everyone's face. I just put a GoPro around his waist. It'll be under the table.
Speaker 1No, tom, just sit here. But then you put, like you dub, in a video of a python just slithering around. That should be great. Put that thing away, oh God. But yeah, so we got a lot of shit going on and can't thank you enough for supporting us so far through these three years, and sooner or later we're going to be in a household name. I think we appreciate you, you know, especially you, ben Big fag.
Speaker 3Do me a favor. Will you go back to Montreal? Scope out a good place to go this time where we can talk to some people.
Speaker 1Yeah, ben, make sure when you do go to Montreal you're not at a gay bar again.
Speaker 3Do not go back to the brass rail.
Speaker 1Yeah, don't go to that empty place you were at because it's no bueno, we'll leave it at that. Sounds like an old girlfriend. Love you.
Show Updates
Speaker 3Ben the juicy crab. It does, it really does.
Speaker 1But we can't thank you guys enough for the support. Once again, go to our website, thetakeadeepshowcom. We're going to be coming out with a. Enough for the support. Once again, go to our website, the take a deep showcom. Um, we're going to be coming out a new Facebook page. A lot of new stuff coming out, and stay tuned. Hopefully Kevin starts fucking doing some shit.
Speaker 3I mean, maybe it's cooking, maybe I'll come back in the studio. I don't know. His feelings were hurt when I said the bald spot. He got very upset, no, what so?
Speaker 1Hey Orbs, hey bud, so we're going to leave it at that. We're kind of slamming the door like a 12-year-old, Not on that note. Take it deep bitches. What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 2I'm going to go See you next time.
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