The Take It Deep Show
Welcome to the TID Show, where a dynamic group of friends fearlessly dive into the unfiltered realities of life. With a raw and uncensored approach, we'll have you laughing uncontrollably. Join us on this roller coaster journey through the beautifully chaotic shit storm of life. If you're up for a candid exploration of the ups, downs, and everything in between, you're in for an unforgettable experience. Ready to take the plunge? Welcome to the depths of TID!
The Take It Deep Show
Fathers Day Special: Bear Hunt Banter, and Middle School Mayhem
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Send us your thoughts and possible requests for show topics.
Ever wondered what happens when you mix a cowbell, a cymbal, and a tambourine with a dash of wild humor? Brace yourself for a rollercoaster of laughs as we debut our band, featuring Kevin, Mattieand myself, and navigate the hilarities of our musical mischief. From the peculiarities of copyright in music remixes to our adventures with a cat affectionately nicknamed Agent Wonton, this episode is packed with outrageous anecdotes. We also recount the highs and lows of a recent baseball game with all the misunderstandings and friendly jabs you'd expect.
Ever thought about wrapping a dog in bacon for a bear hunt? Neither did we, until now! Join us as we humorously debate the logistics of a live bear hunt, sharing laughs about mysterious forest noises and movie references from "Tropic Thunder" to "Tommy Boy." We mix in our thoughts on bands like R.E.M. and the relatable chores of hot tub maintenance. Plus, don't miss our sports commentary on the WNBA and NBA playoffs, where race and media attention take center stage, all delivered with our signature wit and humor.
What’s the wildest thing you got up to in middle school? We revisit our mischievous days with tales of fireworks, early puberty, and memorable teachers. Listen as we face our fears of spiders and snakes, reminisce about childhood competitions, and share the chaos of being sports parents. From nostalgic tug-of-war losses to humorous reflections on modern media narratives and societal shifts, this episode promises a blend of humor, thoughtful discussions, and genuine camaraderie. Get ready for an episode filled with laughs, memories, and unpredictable fun!
mine's up a lot higher than yours. Yeah, yeah, you'd like it loud, or you need a loud, I guess I like it loud all right speaking aloud even when you're by yourself lit.
Speaker 1Whatever, let's get lit. Are you ready? I think it's time all right. So we're gonna, we're gonna debut our, our band. We got kevin on the cowbell, we got maddie on the fucking cymbals, the tambourine, and I'm on skin. We're doing skin as per se usual. Yes, all right, skin on skin, here we go. You ready for this? This is fucking great Debut Father's Day.
Speaker 3Go.
Speaker 1Don't you fuck this up, Kevin.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 1Let's see how long it takes before we get kicked off. Can we forget about the things?
Speaker 3I said when I was drunk Did the lights go down. I didn't call you back. I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me.
Speaker 4Please tell me, please tell me why. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1And uh, Echoes of Eternity. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 4Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic that I'm sorry, what a way to start the holiday.
Speaker 1There's nothing that tops that. I'm sorry, back with a bit juice. We were just coming back into the music too. There's nothing. His cowbell, that was phenomenal, I mean that was spot on, thank you. Thank you, appreciate that I've never seen anybody happier to play with a cowbell than I did. Number one rated cowbell player. We're going to have the number one rated cowboy bell song or episode on Good.
Speaker 2Pods.
Speaker 3More cowbell.
Speaker 2Can we play that as long as we want, because we're redoing it really, yeah, why not Like there's no copyright thing there?
Speaker 1No, I don't think so, even though you're playing the original song in the background.
Speaker 3Nothing to see here. There's nothing going on. Probably can't put that on YouTube.
Speaker 2No, no, definitely not we were just sampling it in our song.
Speaker 1Maybe we cut that. Can we Send that out? In a 30-second clip and be like can you guys remix this? A little TikTok maybe? Yeah, I think we just started something we may have just started something.
Speaker 3Yes, the dogs are throwing a hissy fit. That's what we started.
Speaker 1Is that what's going on upstairs? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2There's some action.
Speaker 1Shit.
Speaker 3You think it's a bear. I hope homeless rib is okay.
Speaker 2Wanton. We're calling her Wonton.
Speaker 3It floats off the tongue a little. Agent Wonton Is that the official name is Wonton.
Speaker 2Well.
Speaker 3Agent.
Speaker 1Agent Wonton. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Father's Day special of the Take a Deep Show. Chinese spy. We have a Chinese spy in Camp Thunderson.
Speaker 3I guess that's better than E6. What, who? I don't want to sound more like a baseball game today.
Speaker 1Yeah, what happened? No, no good, I heard you had a day though.
Speaker 3Well, I'm not going to lie to you. Were you hit by a pitch? I'm not going to lie to you. Kev Matty Farben had a good day at the plate today.
Speaker 2Nice, nice. It's good to hear yeah.
Speaker 3What did you do? We were two for four. We didn't have any strikeouts.
Speaker 1We did not get hit by a pitch today.
Speaker 3That hurt my on-base percentage a little bit.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's usually every game he gets hit by a pitch. You had two hits in the game.
Speaker 3I did have two hits in the game.
Speaker 2yes, how many hits you got this year? Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 3There it is. I mean bitch, oh my god.
Speaker 1There it is. I mean, that was a great lead-in.
Speaker 2That was fucking fantastic.
Speaker 3Yeah, it was good timing. Fucking spot on. Yeah, we gotta get a couple more teammates to show up to the games and get people playing in the right positions. I almost had to go out to right field, for God's sake. Ooh, I'm just in the right positions.
Speaker 1I almost had to go out to right field, for God's sake. I'm just trying to picture that.
Speaker 3Poor Darren's like yeah, I got a little vertigo. Do you want to go out to the outfield? I'm like fuck no, shocker, fuck no.
Speaker 1I don't want to go out to the outfield. The Shocker had some vertigo going. Yeah, you think it was from giving out too many Shockers.
Speaker 2What was that little gesture? What?
Speaker 1was that the shocker? His last name's Shocker, so I call him the Shocker.
Speaker 3I don't care what that is. You don't know what the Shocker is. Are you fucking serious right now? What?
Speaker 2Really, I don't know, maybe I'm lost. I don't know the international sign.
Speaker 1International sign for the shocker Two in the pink, one in the pink.
Speaker 2Okay, I just didn't know it was called that.
Speaker 3I don't know, sorry man Apparently on the sexual cartoons he watches on Amazon Prime.
Speaker 1He knows everything I wasn't watching. He just doesn't know the shocker.
Speaker 3First of all, they don't discuss what the shocker is. What was that?
Speaker 2cartoon. I don't know, dude, it's whatever you were watching.
Speaker 1I was watching the boys and then the boys ended.
Speaker 3There we go. The roommates are arguing again.
Speaker 1No, the boys ended and then that came on. You watch boys, oh boy, it's a show that you don't like. You're like oh, I watched it after one season. It's actually a good show. Yeah, apparently.
Speaker 2I should have kept watching it.
Speaker 3You should have that shit was kind of interesting, Apparently in the credits there's pornographic cartoons.
Speaker 2I'm not sure if it's the credits, I think it's a show.
Speaker 1There's a show, dude, I don't know what the fuck was just on Amazon Prime, but some dude was banging some chick in a hot tub Spit roast. She wasn't spit roasted, okay.
Speaker 3And then Are you familiar with that term?
Speaker 2Yeah, just checking.
Speaker 3All right, rotisserie, that's it Okay.
Speaker 4Yeah, all right, if you want to think of it that way it's just making sure we're all the same, it rotisserie.
Speaker 3That's it.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, all right if you want to think of it that way let's just make it sure we're all the same. It's a little weird so the wonder writer so much so this dude's banging this chick in a cartoon from behind and then ends up getting murdered and then there was what a way to go right and then there was that other one was she hot she looked like she was yeah, jessica Rabbit, hot, so we're talking then we're watching, then we're watching Jessica Rabbit.
Speaker 3Hot is hot yep, just chasing viewers away with that one. No, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1first of all, if you're a viewer and you're, and you're getting away from that with Jessica Rabbit you're gay.
Speaker 2If you tune into us regularly and we're stalking cartoon porn, there's no reason for you to leave.
Speaker 1Yeah, seriously, you know what you're in for when you're missing out.
Speaker 3It's tough to pick up new viewers when that happens, but we'll suck it up.
Speaker 1I'm sure we can get some furry viewers.
Speaker 3We're going to put you in a panda suit.
Speaker 1I'm down, furry fucking head, I'm down, dude, I'm down. Furry fucking head, I'm down. But then what happened with the guy and the chick? And then the next morning this girl turns into a cat.
Speaker 2Yeah, she had a tail and whiskers and shit.
Speaker 1And then she bent over a little seductively.
Speaker 2Yeah, she said I've always wanted to be a pussy. When she did that, when she hunched- down. She arched Did you hear that? She said that yeah, that's, when I looked at you, I was like what? And you were like what was that? I didn't know, you didn't?
Speaker 1I just went with the cartoon porn position she was in. She's like I always wanted to be a pussy.
Speaker 3And she fucking arches her back like a cat is fucking. It's got funny then kind of got me hard.
Speaker 1There's no more squiggly lines on the spice channel. No, it's just straight straight. Uh, this shit, this shit has got the chip cartoon porn all right.
Speaker 3Do you remember that?
Speaker 2did you access the so player porn?
Speaker 1no, no, I swear lies.
Speaker 3I swear to god on that did you see on your tv before when it, when he, he deleted what he was to search for stretched milfs anime kitty cats.
Speaker 1Since there's a new cat in the house, I'm like kitty cat Might as well you know Now. Was there anything crazy that had happened to you at all this week? Kev.
Speaker 2Are we talking about the outside adventure? Yeah, is that what we're talking about? That sounds a little.
Speaker 1Was it like that?
Speaker 2No.
Bear Hunt Banter
Speaker 3What about that? It kind of feels like it was that's close. We could hear it. We could hear it, but we can't see it. I hear what it ate yeah there was something in the woods.
Speaker 2I'm not gonna lie. What do you think it was?
Speaker 1I could have been a bear um uh, if, if you were, if you know, if you were to put money on it.
Speaker 2I would say bear, yeah, why? Just the sounds it was making. And when it started to move at a more than gingerly pace through the woods, it sounded like it was coming through the woods, like it was charging. Not charging, but just you know it was walking with a purpose. Yeah, yeah, did you eat mushrooms? No, I wish I did, though what's going on here?
Speaker 1No, I'm just thinking about the noise and I'm thinking about you, like how you're going to respond to that.
Speaker 2I don't have PTSD, but I'm okay, I don't know, all right, so it didn't rape me.
Speaker 3You were not spit-roasted by the animal in the woods. Sounds like he's going to town. That's actually just audio from Pat taking it.
Speaker 1I had to go out and get that audio for myself. He was in full mount on me. Just to let you know the shit I do for the show.
Speaker 3Have we officially decided which dog we're going to wrap in bacon and leave outside to see if it's a bear?
Speaker 2I said, I got that chicken. We have a rotiss, that chicken oh.
Speaker 1You know, we have a rotisserie chicken I mean, that doesn't sound like fun. Scout wrapped in bacon and fucking honey.
Speaker 2That's a lot of bacon. Dude, have you been to the store lately? Yeah, it's expensive, fuck it, I'll buy the bacon. It's like 200 bucks worth of bacon. Yeah, I'll buy the bacon.
Speaker 1It's like 200 bucks worth of bacon yeah, it'd fit that fat bitch. Totally worth it.
Speaker 2That would look so funny. I could weave like a bacon vest.
Speaker 3She'd be like what is on me? I smell delicious and I can't eat myself Hi.
Speaker 1If you had a bacon vest on.
Speaker 3Would you eat yourself? I think Gunner would like jump out of a second story window to get it scout with the bacon. Oh my God.
Speaker 1That would be the worst experience ever. And then you just honey those two up and they'll end up.
Speaker 2What is this? Uh oh, you getting a call, uh-oh.
Speaker 3Are we getting a call?
Speaker 1No, no, something my sister sent me. Oh, all right. Okay, what Awkward silence. No, we're good, we're good, all right, everything is all right. Yeah, yeah, just something I could bring up to the ex-wife.
Speaker 2You're driving. That's weird.
Speaker 3Moving on.
Speaker 2Bear, no bear maybe a bear Something, but I was fucking, I was scared, I fucking, I ran in the house with with lit cigarette I want to throw this.
Speaker 3I want to throw this out to the listeners. Would you guys be interested in a live facebook, live bear bear hunt?
Speaker 1yeah, I mean, who's saying no to that? I don't know, I think. I think I think kev would say no to that.
Speaker 3I gotta bring firearms if we're doing that.
Speaker 2I'm just saying we can't do it here. You know, we could do it somewhere, just not like in my yard, alright, so we have to.
Speaker 3That's awkward, considering that's where the bear was.
Speaker 2Yeah, was. I don't want it to come back. You know who says it ever left. They travel.
Speaker 3Maybe it's stalking you. A bunch of fucking gypsies.
Speaker 2Well, they get around.
Speaker 3The bear stood up. He put his belongings in a little red handkerchief. I'm out of here. Stick and left.
Speaker 1He's walking on hind foot on the railroad tracks. Come on, hey boo-boo, let's go. You know, is this the fucking bear from the Jungle Book Boo? What's his name? I don't know. I don't think that was the bear Blue.
Speaker 2He's stuttering Fuck.
Speaker 1I got Bear necessities, yeah, I remember that Bear. Well, you're bringing back fucking Tropic Thunder, because I watched that again.
Speaker 3That's such a great movie, I mean dude, just say it and get it out of the way. Just get it out of the way, satan's alley.
Speaker 2No, I know what I want to say the winner of Beijing's prestigious crying monkey award.
Speaker 3Those videos at the beginning of the right if you could maybe to Tom Cruise. To Tom Cruise phone call, that's always a class, yeah yes that is a good one.
Speaker 1So was. Let's see, I know this is somewhere around.
Speaker 4There it is. Oh wait, wait, we call Fleming.
Speaker 2I work with retards. I work with retards.
Speaker 3That's something about Mary I work with retards. I work with retards. That's something about Mary, I work with retards.
Speaker 1Yeah, you know A little REM in there. So yeah, we work with retards. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2About the REM. It's a little weird man.
Speaker 1Yeah, that whole thing was playing the whole time because I had the music on. I'm not a big REM fan. No, no. What about the one that's in Tommy Boy? It's the end of the world as we know it.
Speaker 3I don't particularly care for that either?
Speaker 1No, that was a funny part of the movie.
Speaker 3That was a funny part of the movie.
Speaker 1I just part of the movie. I just don't. I don't like the song, I don't like the band. Fuck those guys. Why is it gonna be fuck? Those guys because, why not? I don't know who's that. Was that you? That was not me. Oh, that was you. Why are you looking at me like so? Yes, fucking creepy, what's going on over there? So so tell us your, uh, your adventures today.
Speaker 2My adventure. Yeah, with the hot tub I was changing the fucking water, cleaning the filters. Fucking had to go get some new stuff for yeah, can we make that any more bland? Um, so I spent 500 bucks at the, at the spa place, getting salt and fucking spit roasted. Yeah, certain chemicals and whatnot had to get the cartridges.
Speaker 3Did you have to pay or were you able to trade in sexual favors? No, I had to pay.
Speaker 2Jerk off a bear, or something.
Speaker 1Oh, wow, wow, I don't know that one just came out. Wow, sorry.
Speaker 3Trying to spice this up Right.
Speaker 2Too much too fast.
Speaker 3We got to get a hold of Bubba Joe.
Speaker 1Yeah, we do, I hope he wins Whoever's watching on Tuesday at 8, it's the 18th, I know that. So on June 18th on Fox, I believe, at 8 pm the game show is. The game show is Beat Shazam Our very own, our very own, one of our number one fans, bubba Joe Mason is going to be on the show. So if you're out there and you're listening, you got to give it a watch. Yeah, just two of you just write it down okay.
Speaker 2Just write it down. I'm pumped, pumped to watch. He's like an encyclopedia.
Speaker 1No, that's what I Said. The same exact thing too. And then but there's people like that are probably Crazier than him with music and shit, maybe. And then I see the so called score that he posted Online. Now am I? I'm sitting there thinking does he do that purposely? Because he's down like 4,000 points. It's an Ali-like comeback and he come back and wins, but it's supposedly. Even though you're teamed up with somebody, it's still you against them, which is weird. Okay, so you're going against two other teams.
Speaker 3Maybe it's the lowest point, total wins. No, I'm not familiar with it.
Speaker 2Golf beat Shazam. He was 4,000 under par yeah.
Speaker 1So listen, as much as that motherfucker knows. I hope he wins. I'm going to be rooting him on.
Speaker 3After the show airs. After the show airs. After the show airs. We have to have him on. He'll be on. I got to hear what it was like to meet and hang out with Jamie Foxx.
Speaker 2To high five Jamie Foxx. One of those photos. He was mid high five, so something good happened.
Speaker 1Somebody cloned Tyrone.
Speaker 3Was it Jamie Foxx or was it Jamie FOXX?
Speaker 2Did it feel real, Joe? Was it like a robot?
Speaker 1Was it FOX squared or Jamie Foxx?
Speaker 2Which one?
Speaker 1was it? It'd be awesome to be on a game show. Yeah, dude, I was almost on a game show not too long ago either.
Speaker 3I don't even want to be on a game show anymore. All the good guys are retiring.
Speaker 1Even Pat Sajak walked away from the Wheel of Fortune this week. Yeah, dude, how many 40 years.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean Vanna White. She's seen better days, but she's hanging around.
Speaker 1Is she still any good looking or no? She's got to be 70 years old. She's probably a good piece of ass at 70, though.
Speaker 3You know what, if we can get Pat Sajak on the show, we could ask why Are they banging? Well, there had to be a reason why she was on the show. Pat, this is back before.
Speaker 1I don't know if you're talking to Pat Sajak or if you're talking to me. When you said it. I'm like is he doing that? Like he's acting like he's on the show or like he's on fucking Wheel of Fortune right now, like you buy a vial, pat? Yeah, you're like I don't know about that pat. I'm like who? Which? I mean she. I mean I probably bang her and she's 70. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah you know you can't get the dust off. That's where your 55 gallon you can't get the dust off.
Speaker 1That's where your 55-gallon drum of KYG that's what I'm diving in like a fucking minnow Right there, going through the crevice where Pat Sajak has bunkered in a few times.
Speaker 3So many of Pat Sajak's kids die.
Speaker 2How about Val? Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 1Oh, oh yeah, we can see that happening. You don't think so, god? We've only been on for 25 minutes and it feels like forever.
Speaker 3Like what else are we ever talking about? Have a great weekend.
Speaker 2Everyone. Happy Father's Day. I think we started out in Albuquerque.
Speaker 1Quick play that song again. You guys want to go cowbell again? What if I did like a surprise song and then you guys have to ad-lib to it?
Speaker 3Love cowbell.
Speaker 1What do you think? You think you could do it.
Speaker 2I don't know, I think you can, let's ad-lib.
Speaker 1You're not going to know the song until I put it on. Oh, here we go, I got it.
Speaker 3This is a good one, yeah, here we go, you ready, you better gear up, orbs.
Speaker 1Orbs you ready, get your fucking, get your cowbell. Oh, so we're doing ad-libs, oh okay.
Speaker 3All right, it's kind of like mad libs yeah, this one's a good one.
Speaker 1This one's a good one. We just listen. We just listened to a little while ago I'll see you know, maybe I get a kick going here.
Speaker 3What do you want?
Speaker 1full percussion, all right, I got a drum set. Let's see how long we can play this before we get kicked. Off you ready, always ready. Off you ready.
Speaker 4Always ready, I'm off, you're way off.
Speaker 1I like that light little tone to it, matty, it's good.
Speaker 3Maria. He went from cowbell to fish. He went to fish.
Speaker 1He looked at the stick. I'm like this dude is on point today. Seriously, he's like fucking Dave Grohl on the drums over here Unbelievable. That was impressive. You were fucking way off.
Speaker 2He's like fucking Dave.
Speaker 1Grohl on the drums over here Unbelievable, with a lot less hair. Dude, that was impressive. That was impressive. You were fucking way off. I was I don't know if it was Kevin screwing you up because you were like he would go. And then you're like.
Speaker 3I was like I can't, I couldn't fire, I couldn't fire.
Father's Day Plans and Smoker Troubles
Speaker 1Amazing, absolutely amazing. Couldn't fire, sorry, my life. Alright. Next song. Next song I like this, I like this. Okay, here you go, let's see what you can do with this one.
Speaker 7Yeah, nigga, I'm still fucking with you. Still waters run deep, still Snoop Dogg and DRA, nah, nah, nigga, guess who's back?
Speaker 1Still, doing one, d still smoked all the drn. Ah, this is shit, dude. Can you imagine doing a remix on a rap song with a fucking cowbell and a tambourine? No, no, that was awesome. Kevin was spot on, spot on with that. Wow.
Speaker 2Thanks, man.
Speaker 1You're doing very good, kev. Never had so many compliments no On a show before. You're feeling good about yourself tonight. Don't fuck it up, don't you fuck it up now? All right, let's see. Uh, I need something. Uh, stop that would now. Are you seriously trying to do that right?
Speaker 4now.
Speaker 1Yeah, woo, woo, yeah Woo.
Speaker 4This is what I'm talking about, all right.
Speaker 1Yeah, because Kevin and Maddie want to know if they're black or white. Fucking great dude.
Speaker 2I've never seen him so happy.
Speaker 1It's in unison. He's fantastic on the tambourine and you're just You're like fucking Mozart over. Fantastic on the tambourine and you're just you're like fucking Mozart over here on the cowbell. Yeah, let me change this into a fish real quick. It's amazing. That's Cy Young material. Just thinking about it on the run, that was fantastic.
Speaker 3Hang it up to tambourine.
Speaker 1No, that was a perfect song too, that was a good one, yes. You guys are always wondering if you're black or white did you pull something all right.
Speaker 2How about that story about my, my daughter's friend just learn?
Speaker 1oh my god, dude, there's no fucking way wait till you hear this.
Speaker 3I don't know the story now very interested. Right, wait, okay, because first of all, when, when lily told us, did you see his face, how his eyes lit up when you said that?
Speaker 1it's an amazing story so lily tells us this story, right, her roommate, her, this is since freshman year okay. So when she, after she, told me this story, I sat there for like a minute. I'm like there's no way that this person did not know, so so her roommate at 20 20 years old yeah thinks no well, she finally realized that Michael Jackson is black because of South Park.
Speaker 2Like she learned, michael Jackson was black, she thought South Park the whole time that Michael Jackson was white because they were making like black references. And she asked Lily like why is this funny?
Speaker 1I don't get it. What Stop no?
Speaker 3How crazy is that this is a generation we're leaving the world to.
Speaker 2But I did make a point like, well, maybe, like she just never saw him black, maybe she only knew the ghost of I mean black-er.
Speaker 3Yeah, I was trying to. Well, no, he started out black, oh yeah yeah, yeah, and that's what I was saying.
Speaker 1How many people do you think are tying in the Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson?
Speaker 3Nobody born after 87?.
Speaker 1Or after 90, maybe Actually I would give it to the 2000. That might be. I think it might be pushing a little. That might be a little generous. Yeah, that's a little generous, okay. So if you're born to 1990, let's go there.
Speaker 3Yeah, then you got to know.
Speaker 1You got to know Michael Jackson. Jackson 5, little black kid, Tito Jermaine White, know. Yeah, you got to know Michael Jackson. Jackson 5, Little Black Kid Tito Jermaine White man, no Drugs.
Speaker 3There's a child by the name of Blanket. What Didn't he name his kid, blanket? I don't know. Maybe I was watching South Park Drunk one night. I don't know.
Speaker 2I think one kid's. Where the hell did you pull that out of Paris Isn't his name?
Speaker 3Paris, the daughter's Paris. I would have swore to kids that we got to look that up, we got to get a device here Michael Jackson's children.
Speaker 1Yeah, children's names.
Speaker 2Okay, blanket. Is it really a blanket?
Speaker 3I hope to God. It is now.
Speaker 2Sticky blanket.
Speaker 3Oh hey, it's not towel-y, this is my favorite child Sticky bun.
Speaker 1Michael Jackson's Kids Paris, prince, bg Jackson. B-i-g-i B-I-G-I.
Speaker 2Biggie, biggie Jackson.
Speaker 3Started with a, b. I think it started out as blanket and they changed it. It's B-I-G-I, b-g, maybe, maybe.
Speaker 1Who fucking knows. I'll tell you what His daughter's pretty hot. She's 26.
Speaker 3She is now. Yeah, let's check this out.
Speaker 2How'd she be so white?
Speaker 3The mother was Debbie Rowe, wasn't it? Wow, dude you know a lot about Michael Jackson.
Speaker 1She looks like she's Persian.
Speaker 3Yeah, all right, she looks more Persian than me. I know Maybe she had some work done already Well, runs in the family. She looks more Persian, I know Maybe she had some work done already Well, runs in the family. She's probably born with work. Let's give her some work. Came out plastic, let's give you some work. Some wet work. Someone's pent up.
Speaker 1Just a little bit. Just don't turn your back on me.
Speaker 3Do you ever see Kevin sleeping on the couch you think about maybe for a minute?
Speaker 2No, he's pretty drunk, he won't he did drink a lot of that bourbon.
Speaker 3He won't even know. One quick lazing, no one will even know.
Speaker 2I'm just gonna touch his nose with it. Shut the fuck up, dude.
Speaker 4I'm just going to touch his nose with it. Shut the fuck up, dude. Yeah, you like that?
Speaker 2Oh yeah, you like that, kevin. There it is. It's like from this is the End. Yep, I'm just going to touch your lips real quick.
Speaker 4It's like from this is the end. Yep, I'm just going to touch your lips real quick. Yeah, you're too much. Bourbon, bitch, rum and war helmet.
Speaker 3This will teach you Flop. We're like ping Ping.
Speaker 5Oh God, that God's voice always comes in handy. It's phenomenal, oh god.
Speaker 1That god's voice always comes in handy. It's phenomenal. Gotta love it. So what are we looking forward to on Father's Day?
Speaker 3Is anyone doing?
Speaker 1anything, I'm going to Oscars and Somers Shout out to Oscars. Really good Italian food.
Speaker 3Going with the fam.
Speaker 1Not the whole fam. Tommy and Ant are going to be down in Jersey for a lax tourney. So it's just me, ryan, nancy, trev, jack Haley, my mom and dad, nice, maybe Darlene, I don't know. Nice, great food dude Fucking meatballs like this. You know what I'm talking about. I do you know what I'm talking about? I do you know what I'm talking about? You doing anything? You want to go swimming in the Italian food?
Speaker 3What am I doing? Let's see, I get to drive to Saugerties to watch my daughter's softball team get rocked and mercy ruled in two innings. Then I get to drive an hour and a half back home, where I'll be expected to cook my own dinner on the barbecue.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, yeah, that does not sound like a good father's day.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, and I have to run. Why don't you just like? And I have to run to Home Depot and get a pallet of flooring. Why don't you stick something in the smoker and then it's done when you get home? Because, Kevin, that would entail me knowing how to work the smoker and actually buying something to put in the smoker. You don't have pellets. I have pellets.
Speaker 2Oh, you're talking meat.
Speaker 3Yeah, I got to buy meat and I got to figure out how to work the fucking thing, because I haven't had fucking three. Actually, I don't even know where the book is.
Speaker 2It's probably still like taped no, no, tied to it.
Speaker 3Have you used it yet? No, I actually brought it inside because I wanted to read it, yeah, and then my house just went into fucking. So then all you got to do is search it online.
Speaker 1Yeah, you can do it via fucking manual.
Speaker 3Dude it can't be that hard. Have you used the smoker yet? No, I have not.
Speaker 2I just put it together a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1It's nice too, is it? Yeah, better than yours? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 3See mine's electric. I'm curious to see how that's all going to work Well it gets to rotate on the track.
Speaker 1No, no, it doesn't have a rotating track, or?
Speaker 3anything. It does not have a rotisserie on it.
Speaker 2I think he spent like 20 grand on the smoker. Do they get that expensive with that? The one you got was probably $1,500, somewhere around there, right yeah?
Speaker 1Like they're third and there's no there's no rotisserie now.
Speaker 3You pay extra for that pet.
Speaker 1How much extra for a?
Speaker 3rotisserie.
Speaker 2Well, it depends. You know, I would pay a lot.
Speaker 1I would take like 10 grand from are you fucking kidding me For one of?
Speaker 2those for like a that would have a rotating. Yeah, you can't do.
Speaker 1That's crazy, you guys are idiots.
Speaker 3Truth be told, I didn't buy it and I asked my wife why'd you spend that much money on this fucking thing? I want one.
Speaker 2I want one. It's fun tending to it. You can use mine whenever you want. It's fun sitting out there and just listening to whatever and tending to it. You can use mine whenever you want. You know like it's fun sitting out there and just like listening to whatever and tending to it, and you know you can walk away for an hour or two and you know, come back check on it.
Speaker 3But you know I'd love the whole fucking ease of one of them tragers. I'm I'm looking forward to to getting in it. I just like I said, I just have not had the time. I don't even have a fucking prep area right now.
Speaker 2That's so true, man you got nothing, you got a nice bathroom.
Speaker 3I do.
Speaker 2And an office.
Speaker 1Yes, yes, they still haven't finished the kitchen.
Speaker 3No, they just. They just got all the sheetrock up and it started Started Spackling. Who you?
Speaker 1got doing the job. Who's working on this? Roar Construction who Roar who? You got doing the job. Who's working on this?
Speaker 3Roar Construction who Roar R-O-A-R. Roar Like a bear, like a bear roar Roar, yeah, out of, out of Orange County Middle town, like that. That's it. Right there, that's it.
Speaker 1That's a great commercial. Yes, come to Roar Construction.
Speaker 3I would tell you this fucking guy is awesome, fucking awesome.
Speaker 1Good price on everything.
Speaker 3Solid price on everything Fucking fair, timely. The amount of fucking work they've done on the house is ridiculous. Very clean American Nope, not nowadays. Amount of work they've done this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2Very clean American Nope, nope.
Speaker 1Not nowadays. How many Mexicans on the job? Three or four. I worked with two. They were fucking fantastic.
Speaker 3I will tell you these guys are fucking awesome.
Speaker 2Did you see the Home Depot thing? I did, yeah, did you see the Home?
Speaker 3Depot thing. I did see that.
Speaker 2Did you see the?
Speaker 1Home Depot thing I did, but I didn't watch the whole thing.
Speaker 2Do you want me to play it Speaking of Mexicans?
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah go ahead, yeah right ahead. Since we're talking about it, great segue here.
Speaker 1Okay, so explain.
Speaker 2Well it explains Okay, you ready, so explain Well it explains Okay, you ready Self-advocatory?
Speaker 1All right, tiktok, swole science.
Speaker 2That one Yep Fights at.
Speaker 5Home Depot. So if you haven't heard, there's fights breaking out in the Home Depot parking lot and if you want to know why, basically, the Venezuelans are there camping out to take the jobs for 11 bucks an hour and the Mexicans are also camping out there to take them at 20. And they're pissed that the Venezuelans are willing to do their work for cheaper. So now they're getting into fights at all the Home Depots across America. And if that's not funny to you, you have no sense of humor, as messed up as it is, I mean that, the irony in that is pretty funny so isn't that great.
Speaker 1So the fucking venezuelans and the mexicans are going at it like the sharks and the jets, pretty much because of how much they're getting paid the same job for half the price that sounds familiar, right, how's it feel Mexicans?
Speaker 3It's not so funny now is it.
Speaker 1Touche, touche, my friend. That's fucking a little ironic, certainly is Come on man. Is that even real?
Speaker 2I don't know. I brought Don back his power washer today and he wasn't home. I was gonna ask him because he's a he's a home depot management guy.
Speaker 3You know, um, he would know, but he wasn't home next time you talk to him, tell him to call me. We got to start.
Speaker 2Uh, talk about a garage door oh, okay, he doesn't need to call you. Okay, you got a, got a guy.
Speaker 3Well, I do, but I thought you said we got to. Yeah All right, yeah All right.
Speaker 4We'll let him know.
Speaker 3Maybe one day, when you're shooting home at like one o'clock in the afternoon, swing by the house and you know we'll take care of things.
Speaker 2Okay.
Sports Banter and Commentary
Speaker 1You okay over there bud. Do you need your garage floor finished? No, yeah, you do. I don't. Totally do, definitely not give you a nice, beautiful color discount too I will tell you not for nothing.
Speaker 3Perhaps, when all this is done, maybe the floor in the uh in the other room area I like where the bathroom is.
Speaker 4Yeah, yeah non-slip surface might not be a bad idea yeah they're all slippery man they are, We'll pretend they're not.
Speaker 2Oh okay, yeah, I've been on way too many of those things.
Speaker 3When my father slips and falls down, I'm very fucked up.
Speaker 2That's on you, sorry, that's on you. You know how much you get for slipping, falling in a cell.
Speaker 1Hi, oh, you got $700? My back.
Speaker 3My neck and my back $750.
Speaker 1You sleep on four Super sleep.
Speaker 3I'll settle out of court right now for $100.
Speaker 1I'll go for $125. A dollar and some envelopes. Anything exciting going on.
Speaker 2He got all his fucking Caitlin Clark nonsense, which I find hilarious.
Speaker 3Oh my.
Speaker 1God, it's gotten, you know it's so stupid.
Speaker 2Her plight, oh her poor plight. And he's in the WNBA.
Speaker 1No, it's the whole Olympic crap. It's putting more fucking money into the WNBA.
Speaker 3That's all I know, I think that's why they're all fucking playing it up so hard.
Speaker 2I just can't believe he's getting so much press. Who fucking cares?
Speaker 3In all honesty, it's because she's white. That's why.
Speaker 1And she's getting beat up by a bunch of black chicks. Suck it up, that's all I gotta say. Suck it up, that's all I gotta say. Suck it up, you're in the fucking WNBA.
Speaker 2She does suck it up, she's actually handling it pretty good.
Speaker 3I've seen some of those fouls and I'm okay with them.
Speaker 1As long as she gets right back up, shoots those foul shots, clutch moments, that's it. I love the fact that she's like Just quiet. She don't say shit about it. What's she gonna say? She just lets her game fucking. Talk to Talk to. You know, talk to talk.
Speaker 3I think it's a little fucking crazy that she's good, she fucking finished her College season and like three days later she's in the WNBA.
Speaker 1And they're all probably all pissed off Because of the fucking the deal that she Got for sneaker deal and they're like why the fuck does this chick get in Weekend? Probably because you kicked off A few fucking teams y'all suck. You guys miss the playoffs, you miss the fucking and this chick is hitting 30 foot fucking dimes yeah, and she's making three pointers out her ass. Still women's basketball.
Speaker 3Yeah, you know, they say Diana Taurasi was the best player in the WNBA history. Right Also white.
Speaker 2Yes, ben so it can't be a white thing.
Speaker 3Her stats are on par with hers. So is the hype real? Maybe, maybe a little bit. Yeah, do it for more than one season. She will.
Speaker 1She will. She did her whole fucking career in Iowa, so what's that, Pat?
Speaker 3Go fuck yourself. I'm just saying I'll be.
Speaker 2FBI, you got a poster.
Speaker 3No, a peckle, fuck yourself. I'm just saying like she's. Yeah, you got a poster right above my bunk bed, do you agree? Do you agree with uh antonio brown, that she?
Speaker 1probably keeps it hairy down there. Oh, do you see? Do you see that nonsense?
Speaker 3no, please, fucking antonio brown starts ripping on this fucking poor broad. Really, yeah, she looks like she keeps it hairy down there and shit like that. So she blocks him on fucking Twitter. So he comes back, he calls her cracker of the year and just keeps fucking poking jabs at her.
Speaker 1I mean, there's really no reason for that, though. Well, his.
Speaker 3CTE shows from time to time. He's Antonio Brown. I love it when he opens his mouth. It's the worst there's really no reason for that though. Well, you see his cte shows from antonio brad.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's fucking crazy. I love it when he opens his mouth. It's the worst, it's terrible.
Speaker 1I don't even know, like uh yeah, it's, it's what it is. Fucking nba sucks right now because nicks are out and I wish uh luca can beat the Celtics.
Speaker 3But when they beat the piss out of them last night. Yeah, now it's 3-1 though yeah, I know the Celtics are going to come back and close this shit.
Speaker 1Imagine the fucking.
Speaker 2NBA was probably like listen, we got to make this series last.
Speaker 1You know, yeah. So we're going to need you, Jason. We're going to need you to lose three in a row.
Speaker 2How about the coach, the Celtic coach, what you haven't seen that stuff, when he's getting interviewed and stuff, something about blackhead coaches in the finals or something to do with that, and they're like well, how do you feel about that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or do you not? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's just like how many of those coaches were christians, you know, because he's a big like christian god, fucking dude. Um, he just relates it. Yeah, I'll find it.
Speaker 1I'll find it, I'll send it to you I still don't understand what he's talking about um. Was it a black coach?
Speaker 2is the celtics coach is a black coach, okay, but they're trying to like, make their, you know, make it all racy.
Speaker 1Because he's a black coach in the finals.
Speaker 6Since 1975,. This is the NBA finals where you have two black head coaches. Given the plight sometimes of black head coaches in the NBA, do you think this is a significant moment? Do you take pride in this? Do you view this or do you not see it at all? I wonder how many of those have ever been Christian coaches.
Speaker 3Casey Jones was a black coach of the Celtics winning championships in the 80s. I don't recall anyone asking him that question.
Speaker 1And then there's why was there an awkward silence?
Speaker 6What you are or what you believe in. Life is a way in which the lens you look at it, in the way the lens you look at yourself, and we have the choice to make to how we look at ourselves. We also have the choice to make to decide whether we're going to care about how people view us or how they don't, and there's multiple lenses that each person can look at. I am half African-American half.
Speaker 6Italian, and so, but most importantly, the decision that I made in my life, I've decided to look through either one of those and I've decided to look at my lens through that of which is Christianity, and so my identity is in him first, and that comes before anything else, and that's just been important to me, because what he's done for me in my life, the people that I have around me that have brought me there, and it's important for my wife and it's important for my family, it doesn't mean that it's any more than any other lens to which we can look at.
Speaker 6Uh, but for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and we're going to look at the lens of life through that of Christianity and and everything that comes with it that was like an interview he gave after that press conference where he was like I wonder how many of those coaches were Christian, you know.
Speaker 2But yeah, so, but who cares?
Speaker 4Right, exactly.
Speaker 2You know like why is this even a thing?
Speaker 1But it's a thing, cause that's the way the fucking media is now. That's the problem. There's like whatever, you know, whatever place there is in each story, like they'll, they'll pull from that and that's this. You know what I mean? Try to make everything is so pop yeah they try to make it about race.
Speaker 2You know it's always try to it's going to be about race.
Speaker 1It's going to be about gender. It's going to be about religion. It's going to be about this, it's going to be about that. In order for people to choose sides. That's what every fucking story that comes out in the news now Divide and conquer. That's all it is. I hate the news. Don't watch it anymore. No.
Speaker 2I haven't watched the news. No, I'll see interesting shit on that, and I'll just research it myself.
Speaker 3So do you guys think Hunter's going to do jail time? No, I hope so. No, there's, no way, no, there's no way.
Speaker 1No, there's no way, bro. He was banging.
Speaker 2Asian Well Biden's. I guess he's said in the past that he won't pardon him.
Speaker 3Well, yeah, he's, you're right, he said that and he said he won't interfere, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, horseshit.
Speaker 1But that's before they're taking his son to federal ass-pounding prison. What if Trump is like I'll pardon him For his Ukraine connections, as long as you get out of the fucking, out of the office.
Speaker 3As Trump's saying that he's on his way to federal pounder in the ass prison. Oh, he's not going to prison. No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1Do you think it's getting overturned? Yeah, I do why.
Speaker 3It's a shit show.
Speaker 2It's a witch hunt Not to throw out these fucking Trumper terms, but it's a fucking witch hunt. You know they're just trying. They're throwing darts. It's like the impeachments. Yeah, you know they're just trying. You know they only got a few shots left, so we're gonna try this one. You know?
Speaker 1do you think it created the snowball effect of who's gonna vote for him now? Oh, it definitely backfires us on did you see that interview with 50 Cent?
Speaker 2Oh, with the black people.
Speaker 1Yeah, they're like why are they going to vote for Trump? He's got Rico now. Yeah, he says it. I was like we can relate. Good point, we can relate. Yeah, dude, and you're seeing it Bro all these fucking rappers now Are just backing Trump, like all these big names.
Speaker 3The nonsense. The nonsense is going on in this fucking world.
Speaker 2Oh dude, it's only gonna fucking gear up From here on.
Speaker 1It's gonna be like the movie Civil War. I'm telling you, right now there's some crazy shit, something it it's going to be like the movie Civil War.
Speaker 2I'm telling you right now there's some crazy shit, something Five months left before the election.
Speaker 1Something insane is going to happen. Yes, I guarantee it?
Speaker 2Oh, like them curtailing the water in Idaho. What For the farmers? They've shut their water irrigation off.
Speaker 4Are you kidding me.
Speaker 3Yeah, oh so there's going to be a potato shortage. Now we're going to have a potato famine.
Speaker 2Well, there's more than potatoes out there. But Tell me Yellowstone, well, I don't know, there's more than potatoes out there. But I mean, you think about all the fucking record snowfalls. Tell me Grizzly Jack, you know all the rain, all the record snowfalls. There's snow falls.
Speaker 1there's no reason to shut the water off, there's tons of water out there, you know, but they've they've shut it off, is this?
Speaker 3just to control the farmers.
Speaker 2Well, if you control the farmers.
Speaker 3What else?
Speaker 2you control everything it's the food supply right, because that's you also got the fucking um. You have the bird flu going around in chickens, so they had it like off like 190 million chickens or something. Yeah, and you know how they're using the. They're using a PCR test to test the birds for bird flu. You know, you know that very reliable.
Speaker 1You're talking about the PCR test they took for COVID. Yeah, the same shit. So everybody's going to have the bird flu. Same type of test, not, everybody's going to have the bird flu.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2The food supply is getting attacked, and very quietly. A lot of people don't realize this. Think of all the fucking-.
Speaker 3You mean the mainstream media is not talking about this.
Speaker 2Think of all the fucking places that burned down over the past couple of years. Yeah, okay, there was another mass fucking chicken killing in Connecticut like a year or two ago, like one of the was that?
Speaker 3was it a chicken killing or was it chicken choking?
Speaker 2No, it was, it was did it take place at the Thunderson's. No, like uh only in.
Speaker 1Pat's room.
Speaker 2I think one of them burned down or something like there was something from friction there was some disaster that little spark comes off, but yeah, like a flint they're. They're attacking the food supply, man, and you got china buying up all the fucking farmland too see so there's another wrinkle. If you want to go fucking conspiracy on it, you know, know.
Speaker 1Well, my thing, like it's I. What I don't get is people. People will hear this like going on and they won't believe it, just because you're not seeing it on the news. Right, right.
Speaker 3Until they go to a supermarket. And it's $79 for fucking four chicken breasts.
Speaker 1I'm looking for Tang. I just want Tang in my picture Some oval. I got to pay $22 for Tang. I just want Tang in my pitcher Some oval.
Speaker 3I got to pay $22 for Tang, Like, come on what there's chickens and Tang Bro.
Speaker 1It is so food is so fucking expensive. Don't even get me started. Dude, cold cuts, cold cuts. You better. I'm telling you right now, when you buy cold cuts, you might as well buy the best bread that's out there and have yourself a fucking sandwich because of what you're paying for it.
Speaker 2It's $3 and something for a bottle of soda for great fakes.
Speaker 1For a little one.
Speaker 2Yeah, for a little guy.
Speaker 1Yeah, so you know you can't anymore. I'm like I'm gonna get that, I'm gonna get that provolone. Yeah, you know what? Can I get a quarter pound Of provolone? Can I get three slices? No, let, how much is that no tomato.
Speaker 2No, let no seriously.
Speaker 3We were talking about this, adele, you fucking said You're not gonna fucking yeah can I get an everything bagel?
Speaker 1You can't order a wedge, but Can I get an everything bagel. But can you wipe all?
Speaker 3the everything off. They stopped serving wedges because it was fucking too expensive. Yeah, 5-2 Red Sox. Who did 5-2 Red Sox win Right now?
Speaker 1Who got rid of the wedges? What are you talking about, froggies? Oh, they were talking about doing it, so it's just Is today the 12th. No, today is the 14th, 15th, 15th June, 15th, why?
Speaker 3I forget which day Ben was going to the game, which could be why he's not. He's not Watching the show, very true.
Speaker 1Maybe he just doesn't like us anymore.
Speaker 3Nah, he still loves us you think so, yeah, I do, I do. Okay, we ever gonna have him back on. No, he just doesn't like us anymore. No, he still loves us. You think so?
Speaker 1Yeah, I do I do Okay, we ever going to have him back on. No, no, I don't think he's going to cross the line again, I, hope a trooper takes him out if he crosses the state line.
Speaker 3It just comes down to a very simple thing when you introduce non-carmel people To drinking Into a caramel thing.
Speaker 2Hey, when you meet your idols, sometimes you lose grip.
Speaker 3We've seen it time and time again.
Fantasy Leagues and Movie Recommendations
Speaker 1We know what it's like when you guys see stars and when we're in your presence. We understand that.
Speaker 3And not just the pasty stars on.
Speaker 1Patrick, right on my ball, sack, alright. And that, and not just the pasty stars on Patrick, yeah, right on my ball, sack, alright.
Speaker 3And Ball sacks aren't big enough for stars, what?
Speaker 1My balls aren't. I thought they are, they are, they are so full.
Speaker 3You could kill that orbs they are so full, full to unleash.
Speaker 1Don't ever say that when I'm talking about saying I so full, full to unleash. Don't ever say that when I'm talking about saying I'm full, you want to help him out.
Speaker 2No, I don't.
Speaker 1I just want to taste, just a quick release. I don't Get your tarps like Gallagher, let's go.
Speaker 2What the fuck are we talking about here? Get your tarps like Gallagher, let's go. Oh God, what the fuck are we talking about here?
Speaker 3Pat's talking about hitting watermelons with a sledgehammer or jerking off on you.
Speaker 4Either way. All right.
Speaker 1So what else, Kev? What do you got going?
Speaker 3on Fancy football's right around the corner.
Speaker 1Fuck that yeah right, I think I'm out this year.
Speaker 2I think we're under 100 days Right.
Speaker 1Yep, yep, I think I'm.
Speaker 2Are magazines on the shelves.
Speaker 3Nah, I looked at a supermarket the other day, did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1I think I'm calling it quits this year. Why Just it's too much man. I love fantasy football, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2But it's, you know, it's too much fucking fantasy baseball, that stupid fucking league Hence it's.
Speaker 1Hence the app is deleted off my phone like it's. How am I doing, by the way, can we check my? Yeah, yeah, sure, and see, see my record. Check that real quick, not even touching it. What place my and I gotta be in like seventh nice.
Speaker 2I haven't touched mine either since the attempted trade.
Speaker 3I heard about that you haven't touched yours since you got married. Me too.
Speaker 4Touch it all the time since I got married.
Speaker 2Get your fucking facts straight. Nice, I'm winning 15 to 7 at the moment and for the season, what's your team name?
Speaker 199 problems and the bitch ain't one in the picture you are ranked 11th.
Speaker 2Oh, it's almost to last. You are 56 and a half games out. Yeah, it's terrible, but you're solid there, because 12th is 83 and a half games out. Oh my God, who's 12th? Jc's, oh, jc's team. It's not too impressive, impressively bad.
Speaker 3Much like baseball.
Speaker 2He probably pays no attention to this, either I'm in the top 10.
Speaker 1Out of 12. What's Matty's?
Speaker 2What are you? Joe Boo needs a refill. Oh, Matty's 5th. He is 8 and a half games out.
Speaker 1Wow, I'm fucking close with 56 and a half.
Speaker 2I am 27 and a half games out.
Speaker 1I need a terrible four weeks in a row from everybody.
Speaker 3You need to go like 20 and one.
Speaker 1It's the worst league ever.
Speaker 2It's just so dumb I don't like it. Like I had an issue with a guy on the IL or the DL the disabled list so I'm bringing back the disabled list for you fucking tree-hugging, fucking, whatevers. Yes, change the name because it fucking sounds bad. Remember that shit when they changed it from the disabled list to the injured list. Yeah, baggot retard disabled list, Like you know, taking guys on and off the DL, Like it was just hard, Like it should have been so much easier.
Speaker 1What are you doing over there, man? Just putting together faggot and retard over here.
Speaker 3We're bringing these words back. We're bringing these back. I have no problem with that.
Speaker 1That's fucking awesome. But you think about it. Yeah, it's probably faggots and retards. Alright, I agree with you 110%. But yeah, the fucking league is so dumb.
Speaker 2It's not even for money, which pisses me off Like.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2That's.
Speaker 1What are we? Six I realize. I realize that we. You know what six I I realized, I realized a week. You know what I mean. I'm playing for fucking soda caps.
Speaker 3As I'm watching the ad drops, I'm like who are these people? I don't know any of these players at all, oh, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1I don't follow baseball like that. No, you know that's. That's a different animal, bro.
Speaker 2Fuck that shit yeah, it's for fucking people that larp, you know, play dungeons and dragons and shit and fucking nerds, you know, nerds, nerds, nerds. You heard LARP and you just started laughing.
Speaker 1The second you say LARPing is it's the craziest word. If you think about it, then you're like what is LARPing? Then you're like yeah, I see why it's LARPing Live action, role play, the fact that it's an acronym, right, and it's a word and an acronym, that's crazy LARPing.
Speaker 3You LARP Didn't even know what it was until three minutes ago. Are you serious? You never saw what movie was that?
Speaker 1What is it?
Speaker 3Oh, I know which one you're talking about With.
Speaker 1Paul Rudd and what's his name?
Speaker 2McLovin.
Speaker 3What's his name?
Speaker 1Stifler's in it Stifler's in it.
Speaker 3Role models. Yeah, I couldn't get through that whole movie. That's a good movie.
Speaker 2I tried a couple times.
Speaker 3It's not a turn off, for sure, couldn't do it, the whole LARPing thing.
Speaker 2You know it's a good watch. Have you seen that Las Vegas shooter documentary? Oh, my god, dude, it's called 11 Minutes. I told Pat about it, I knew about it when it happened and you heard it on the news and stuff, but I never really listened to what happened, like all the fucking carrying on about. You know, they dragged that. I mean all due respects to the people, don't mean this like that, but they drag that shit out on the news as long as they can. Yeah, you know. So I just tune it out and like this documentary was like holy shit, man. It's like four, five episodes, four episodes, really Four episodes. It's called About an hour piece. It's like video of concert goers.
Speaker 3It's actually something if you watch it. You got to pay attention to it's video.
Speaker 1It's live video of it happening.
Speaker 2It's like police body cam.
Speaker 1Yeah, crazy shit. And you're seeing people get hit, you're seeing asphalt Like the body cams of the guys. You do not. Your mouth will drop when you realize the amount this armory, this motherfucker, had and how many bullets he went through. Not only how many bullets, how many weapons, it's a good watch. Well, he had a whole room full of weapons, right, it's not even just having a room full of weapons is how these weapons were set up really like he was ready to go, like bipods.
Speaker 1Bipods strategically set in each part of the room. Because of where his room was. He had, like this, different angles view of everything so and he had one window that fucking just was literally you were. There was no safe place. Yeah.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, it's. It's crazy, man, crazy shit it's crazy. But, that won't say anything else. It's a good one. Yeah, so that shit out 11 minutes. It said it wasn't on prime Prime.
Speaker 1That that made my jaw motherfucking drop watching that dude.
Speaker 3I'm watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine right now.
Speaker 1That's a funny show.
Speaker 3I enjoy that show?
Speaker 1What's that movie I just watched with the dude who plays Superman and oh, the League of. It's a? Oh, it's Shit Somewhere. It's the dude who plays Reacher on Prime. And like Henry Cavill, Alan Richman, the dude who plays Superman Cavill. Yeah, okay, and they're like Nazi hunters.
Speaker 2Is it on Netflix?
Speaker 1Oh, I heard about this. Who's Madonna's?
Speaker 2old husband. Something distinguished, guy Ritchie. Something distinguished, guy Ritchie.
Speaker 1It's a Guy Ritchie film. I'm not even joking. This is one of the best movies I've seen in years. Really, really fucking good. What a fucking role. What's his name? Plays the dude who plays Superman? He's just this crazy. They're all psychotic motherfuckers. Henry Cavill, yeah.
Speaker 3They're talking about him as the next James Bond, perhaps.
Speaker 2He'd be a great James Bond. Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 1He's a good actor, but this fucking movie is fantastic, dude, it's gory. It's there and I didn't realize it's a true fucking story.
Speaker 2Dude, did you watch the Witcher? He's in the Witcher too. Man, that's a good show.
Speaker 1I didn't realize that's a true story. Superman no.
Speaker 3And I think we're nearing the end of the podcast.
Speaker 1No, you asshole that movie that Guy Ritchie made. That's based on a real thing happening.
Speaker 2The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.
Speaker 6Yeah.
Speaker 3Watch it. That's why it makes sense. That's a Guy Ritchie. It's a little fucking little fucking worky Kev. You watched it, it's good.
Speaker 1It's really good it's really good.
Speaker 2It starts off with Superman's in jail and they let him out of jail to go do stuff.
Speaker 3How can a jail cell hold Superman? Was it made of kryptonite?
Speaker 1What's crazy is it's based on a true story and it was five guys who started it. And how they attacked these five dudes? Just attacked the Germans at certain points. Did you see the?
Speaker 3TikTok video where the guy asked his girlfriend if she wanted five guys and she got all bent out of shape saying I don't know if I can handle that. And then she came back with well, I have, I have some people in mind. If you're serious, their numbers are on my phone. He's like talking about fucking cheeseburgers, jesus Christ.
Speaker 2That's awesome. Sorry, that had to be fake, though, right.
Speaker 3You know what? If it was, she acted well. That's awesome, it was funny.
Speaker 2It made me laugh. That's a good one.
Speaker 1I got a couple of cocks. I mean numbers on my phone. Yeah, yeah, I could see that happening.
Speaker 3I still can't understand why that would be the first thing that pops in your head when somebody wants to go for five guys. Really, really.
Speaker 1Let me think Really. Let me think about that One, two, three, four, five. Okay, we can do it.
Speaker 3Mouth and ear. Okay, we can do it Mouth and ear Okay we're in, are you? How long have we been going? 17 minutes, or three days, hour and seven Six minutes.
Speaker 1Six minutes we've been gone. Come on, what else you want to talk about?
Speaker 2I don't know what you got.
Speaker 3You got anything what really grinds your gears right now, patrick?
Speaker 1this fucking country.
Speaker 3Just how, how fucked up it is you know just how fucking stupid people it's, that it's, it's the.
Speaker 1You know Just how fucking stupid people are. It's that, it's the you know, everybody against everybody else. There's no unity, there's no. There's so much divide, the bullshit that spewed out just for the hate and creating fucking issues. Peace, love, man, dude, that's what I'm talking about. Man. Like it's so easy. It really is, though, though. If you think about it, it's so fucking easy. It's just open your Fucking eyes and believe what you want to believe.
Liberal Causes and Tactical Messaging
Speaker 3That's it, and it's what everyone's doing which is causing half the problem.
Speaker 1Yeah, well, that's the thing, but you still have the people are just like we're trying to silence that. There's nothing to see here. You know they're the fucking cop from South Park.
Speaker 3Did you see the fucking thing I sent you with the devil in the boardroom?
Speaker 1Oh my God, dude, play that motherfucker. That shit was funny. This is, oh my God Shit. Did you yeah? Where did you send that?
Speaker 3I sent it to you and Kevin in text.
Speaker 1All right, I got to find that, though I don't know, oh was it. How recent was it?
Speaker 3Uh, yesterday, this morning something like that oh, is this it. Barry out.
Speaker 8Thank you all for meeting with me. You're all doing some wonderful work destroying the world, but I think it's probably time for us to reevaluate.
Speaker 4Sorry for the interruption, but I think we're in the wrong meeting. We're not here to destroy the world, we're here to save it. You see, we are some of the leading leaders of liberal causes and I'm with the Human Rights Campaign causes and I'm with the human rights campaign, who focus on lgbtq plus and trans rights. You see, I have an eagle sign to let you know that I'm a good person. Oh, excuse me. Women's reproductive rights climate free palestine open.
Speaker 8I misspoke before. You guys are not destroying the world, okay, you are saving the world. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up with those scare quotes? Pretty sure I didn't use scare quotes when I said saving the world. The important thing to keep in mind is that there's a big election coming up and we're all on the same page, okay. So if we want Biden to win, he needs to win in order for us to save the world. If we want biden to win, you folks how can I say this? You, you, you might need to tone it down, just what that was a good question um, you're, uh, you're women's reproductive rights, right?
Speaker 8okay, excellent branding, by the way, I see's a much easier on the ears than baby murder. So, yes, you on that one, but opposing any restrictions all the way through to the ninth month. I mean, you see how you're kind of tipping your hand right Makes people think, wait, maybe they actually want to kill babies and we do, obviously, no, we don't. Oh no, we don't, right, we don't. But you see, you see how it can kind of look that way. So that's, I mean, that's all I'm saying. You know, let's tone it down. And you, immigration? Clearly, we don't want a completely open border that undermines any sense of national sovereignty, driving down wages for the working class and overtaxing the welfare state. So let's go a bit easy there too. Why not something like this? Why not something like diversity is our? Are you trying to say diversity is our strength? Yes, how do you say that without laughing? Oh my gosh, I can't even get through it. This is, besides, my goodness.
Speaker 8Okay, what about you? Pro-palestine you are? I'm going to say this You're kind of coming across like you just want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. We do want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. Of course, yes, yes, and that's awesome. I'm all for that, I love that, but you need to pretend like you don't want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. Why, excuse me? I mean, we're pretty clear in our position and most young people and everyone on college campuses, and half the Democratic Party, of course, still support us. Yeah, it's cool. Now you may have a point there. You might be the only person in here that can be as evil as you want to be and get away with it. Still, let's think about tactics, okay, do you think that occupying bridges and blocking traffic is somehow winning people over to your cause?
Speaker 1Yeah, and making people hate us by blocking traffic is our thing. He's stealing our thing.
Speaker 4You're not stealing your thing, you must die, we will kill you all.
Speaker 8See, this is what I'm talking about. I mean, okay, I love the homicidal thing that you got going on there. I really dig it okay, but maybe market it just a little bit differently, like the serial killer that everyone thinks is such a sweet guy. You know he's got 27 bodies in the basement but he's, like you know, coaching Little League. That's what I want. Be that guy. Back to America.
Speaker 4You know, the funny thing is, you don't even look, dude, that is so funny.
Speaker 3Be that guy. I think. I was watching that like 5 o'clock this morning and I'm chuckling my ass. I was like what's the matter with you? I'm like shut up, it's so true, that's crazy.
Speaker 1Alright, what do you think?
Speaker 3I think we should finish this bottle of bourbon and call it a day.
Speaker 1What's that mean?
Speaker 3I don't know.
Speaker 2Do you want to play the?
Speaker 3Do you have something else you want to talk about? Do you want?
Speaker 2to play the Wile E Coyote oh.
Speaker 3You could kill that. That was such a good one too. That was a good one.
Speaker 1When I saw it I was like what the fuck is this big rock in the middle of the road?
Speaker 2Yeah, they're not going to see it right.
Speaker 7George Orwell once said every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it. Boomers will see this rock in the road and think, okay, let's figure out how to get it moved. Millennials and Gen Z will see the rock and cry about the inconvenience that it has caused them, then wonder if the rock identifies as a rock or is it actually a tree? Gen X, however, will see this rock and say I'll bet a hundred bucks there is a coyote under there bro, that is, it's exactly what I would like.
Speaker 1Just, I'm not even joking. Like when I saw the rock, I'm like, instantly I was like why are they coyote? Like instantly, yep, when you see shit like that, a rock in the road or an anvil.
Speaker 3Was there anything?
Speaker 1That or rocket fucking Acme. Rocket on roller skates.
Cartoons, Soccer, and Father's Day
Speaker 2Have they found anything racist with the fucking roadrunner or anything? Like that Is that an okay cartoon to still like it's too violent.
Speaker 1Fucking violent. It was Fucking dicks. Call of.
Speaker 2Duty.
Speaker 3Yeah right, bugs Bunny. And who's Sam? What the fuck? Elmer Fudd, elmer Fudd. And who's the cowboy with the six guns?
Speaker 2Yosemite Sam.
Speaker 6Right.
Speaker 3That shit's too violent. But hey six-year-old, go play Call of Duty and motherfuck some adult. I, hey six-year-old, go play Call of Duty and motherfuck some adult. You got Foghorn Leghorn. I'll say it. I'll say it, hey boy.
Speaker 1Right, I totally forgot. I could do you Somebody say him that was Foghorn Leghorn. Whatever, you're not a dog, hey, I'll say it.
Speaker 3It's a mix between Harry Cary and.
Speaker 2Foghorn, her little jizz paw in there too. I think he's drunk, no.
Speaker 3I'm not, I'll say it. I said hey boy, hey boy, oh god Do we do a show next week hey boy, hi, hi, oh God.
Speaker 1Do we do a show next week? Yeah, why not? Well, we got to get a hold of.
Speaker 2Joe Well.
Speaker 3I would assume we're doing a show next week, Regardless if we you know. Yeah well, I'm not aware of anything that would preclude us from doing a show. It's not Mother's Day, it's not. I'm not away at a convention.
Speaker 2Very good you got to check your softball schedule. I'm sure I'm fucking watching softball somewhere. Dude, the places you've been naming that these places are at.
Speaker 3Oh, dude, there's weekend trips with hotels.
Speaker 2So far we've gone from what Long Island to Saugerties. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3There's one in Pennsylvania, there's a couple in New Jersey and they're going to play nationals in Delaware.
Speaker 1Nationals for what?
Speaker 2They're going to get ripped, so do you have to be good to play?
Speaker 3nationals. I think you just have to pay money to get in the tournament and the other teams ask fuck you and send you home. Okay, we're here to throttle you.
Speaker 2There's no qualifying.
Speaker 3No, you have to be so good, it's all a fucking money grab and it's like, oh, you want to pay? Sure, come on in.
Speaker 2These 16 nationally ranked teams are going to fucking beat you to death inside of five minutes and then you can leave my buddy lacy down in a south carolina told me that there's like travel soccer, that they, they go to fucking texas. Yeah, yep, I gotta.
Speaker 3I was like what you know? Like I got a buddy whose daughter is so good is getting recruited to different teams that he may actually have to move to go where this team is located for his daughter to play there. Well, that's cool.
Speaker 2Well, you got a kid like that. You move, you know, I guess yeah, why not? Dude could?
Speaker 3be a fucking, it's fucking soccer. How much are you going to make?
Speaker 1I don't know man $7.
Speaker 2It's. It's more like endorsements, I would think, you know, not like.
Speaker 1You're talking about.
Speaker 2NIL Dude. It's a growing sport, man, by that time. You never know.
Speaker 3Listen again, it certainly is, and I actually yeah, you've played. Well, not only have I played, but I enjoy watching the US national team.
Speaker 1It's the original play-by-play over here. What did I say? It's the original Pele. I mean, come on.
Speaker 2So anyway, I was saying, pele was a lot taller and darker, a little darker too.
Speaker 3He could actually jump in the air and kick the ball, but I can't get my feet off the ground.
Speaker 1I was thinking about you on the chair, anyways.
Speaker 2They're supposed to be building like some big fucking Complex down by, like Shea Stadium or whatever they call that fucking place now.
Speaker 3Shea Field Complex for what Sports like soccer fields.
Speaker 1What's the name of their fucking?
Speaker 6stadium.
Speaker 1City Field, but they're making.
Speaker 2What's the name of their fucking stadium? Citi Field Citi.
Speaker 1Field, but they're making this whole recreational.
Speaker 3They want something that can win in that area.
Speaker 1It's going to be like a concert venue too.
Speaker 2Something with a concert venue, yeah, like all that industrial fucking ghetto that's there.
Speaker 3They're going to fucking bulldoze it and build it back up.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think they're in the process now it, I think they're in the process.
Speaker 1now it got approved.
Speaker 3I got to try to get a piece of that insurance. Call them, call Steve, if anyone's listening to the fucking retail insurance broker who's on that fucking project. Pay no attention to shit we say on this show. Call me privately, dude, that shit's going to take like a decade to do.
Speaker 2I certainly hope so, kev. It's a lot of money. You can undercut somebody. It's a lot of money. You can undercut somebody. It's a lot of money. Yeah, a lot of money there. You just walk in there and undercut them, right, that's business, right Capitalism.
Speaker 3Oh, let's see how bad my father's day is fucked up tomorrow. Here we go. What happened? Leah has to be at the field at 8.45 am you leaving now. So that's a 6 o'clock wake-up time, to leave by 7. 18.
Speaker 18.45?. Wait, you gotta be at Saugerties at 8.45? It's only an hour and a half you have to be at Saugerties at 8.45.
Speaker 2I guess it's South Albany, right.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it's not that far. Not that far. It's westugert, or is it 845? I guess it's South Albany, right? Yeah, but it's not that far.
Speaker 2Not that far it's west, though it's an hour ride, it's a little west Hour and 15, hour and 20, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, depending on it's usually yeah, well, it's holiday, dude.
Speaker 2You never know who's traveling. Not at 7 o'clock in the morning, Kev Not at, I'll probably hit traffic Actually. Maybe you got people going to visit dad in Canada. You don't know.
Speaker 3Actually, I probably won't hit traffic on the way back, because where did Canada?
Speaker 2come from the way he's going to have to get to Sorghetti's. I'm trying to, you know, like Thruway 87? Yeah, 87 up, you know.
Speaker 3Well, actually I took the back roads the other day. It wasn't bad.
Speaker 4Where'd you go. I took out a Taconic to a bull's head road. I love bull's head.
Speaker 1Dude, you're sleeping in your truck tonight. What's?
Speaker 3wrong? No, I'm not. There's been a lot of innuendo this evening. A lot of innuendo, bull's head.
Speaker 2I think that fucking cartoon porn sent them over the edge. It might have it might have.
Speaker 1It's not funny, kevin. Shut your mouth. It's kind of funny. Go ahead, say something stupid, you're going to say something stupid.
Speaker 2Where's your favorite little button? Where is it? Shut up, bitch. There it is. It's always good.
Speaker 3This fucking guy's been trying to find a way to sneak away for 10 minutes, since you saw that thing on TV.
Speaker 1What, what Cranking in the corner on a fucking cartoon porn Bull's head Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, let's have sex. You know, no, biggie Kevin would walk in.
Speaker 2There's a pill for that.
Speaker 1Kevin would walk in. There's a pill for that. Kevin would walk in, let the boy watch.
Snake Trauma and Embarrassing Tug of War
Speaker 2Try to turn this on me. It's a little weird.
Speaker 1It's a little weird. All right, I'm done, I'm tired. You finished, are you done? You just going to roll over and go to sleep now? Yeah, are you?
Speaker 3done, kevin? I think you roll over and go to sleep now. Yeah, are you done, kevin? I think you should spoon me, kevin, for a minute.
Speaker 2You don't want to cuddle, no.
Speaker 4Shotgun little spoon.
Speaker 1That's good, that's good.
Speaker 3That's how we end the fucking episode on that, all right so play a little music and uh, yeah, what do you want to hear?
Speaker 2you should play lit again yeah, gorillas, give me some gorillas, gorillas that wasn't bad no, it wasn't bad.
Speaker 1No, it wasn't bad at all. That's feel-good. Ink right, want me to beatbox? No, no.
Speaker 4No.
Speaker 1What was the one you were just doing? You know this. What am I fucking talking about? Yeah, I need more cowbell. Give me that tambourine. All right, ladies, fuck this shit, we're out. Take it deep.
Speaker 3Happy Father's Day, bitches.
Speaker 2We're back live people we got stories Shit's happening, shit's happening, right, sorry, sorry so I was outside I asked pat. I was like, dude, you see that picture of the snake I sent? Yeah, I was like it's right over there. And he's like, oh, he's all you know bugging out or whatever.
Speaker 3I wasn't bugging out well, obviously didn't enjoy snakes, like kind of skeeved out maybe the only thing that could have been worse was it was a spider snake, maybe spider snake, maybe a little fear, you know.
Speaker 2Um. So I just kind of kind of laughed. Like you know, I laughed. It was a cool picture of the garter snake. He was all perched up like a spitting cobra. Like ready to fucking like, pounce on like a cricket.
Speaker 1Okay, so I just emailed it. I think I'll be able to, I'll be able to share this, so just give me one second. Keep talking, keep talking.
Speaker 2So then like uh, he starts, you know, he's like, well, did? He's like I've been traumatized. I'm like traumatized by what dude? Like what happened, you got an incident, so and then he tells me this okay.
Speaker 1So do you remember back in the day, maddie, when, um, they would have middle school? Yeah right, they would have, like uh, what do you call it? The exotic animals. Like you remember this?
Speaker 2Like the in-school field trip, go sit in the auditorium everybody.
Speaker 3you know yes, yes, yep, yep, All right. I'm trying to find. I can't find a live to share. Wait a minute.
Speaker 1I think I can do it. Downloads. That wasn't it, shit?
Speaker 2Where is it you want me to just hold it up in front of the fucking camera?
Speaker 1no, you dickhead oh, there, it is alright, so this is on down 740 see, this is kind of cool.
Speaker 2He was just kind of chilling out, just like that, and he didn't move when I walked by him and so I whipped out the camera and I was like, oh, this is a cool like that. And he didn't move when I walked by him and so I whipped out the camera and I was like, oh, this is a cool pic.
Speaker 3He's ready to pounce.
Speaker 2Little garter snake.
Speaker 3That is not a garter snake.
Speaker 2That's a garter snake man. The yard is full of them, whatever.
Speaker 1So anyway, wait, wait, wait, I can share the screen. So there it is there we go. So anyway, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so I could share the screen. So we're gonna. Oh, we have, we have done. There, it is there, it is there we go. So now, that's, that's the snake, so people can see this. All right, snakes why all?
Speaker 1right, so snakes? I was like, yeah, I saw that. I was like. I was like I just I've been traumatized with snakes. And he's like, oh, yeah, how? So in seventh grade they had um exotic animals and they had it in the george fisher middle school auditorium and next thing, you know, like all these animals come through and he's like, oh, we're gonna need some, we're gonna need some um volunteers. Yeah, but what was the word I used? I forgot we're going to need some brave people out there. Yeah, I was like oh me me.
Speaker 3I got chosen right and this is back when you had hair.
Speaker 1Yeah, beautiful, beautiful, long mane Rawr. So lo and behold, they pull out this like 32-foot anaconda From their pants, from this satchel they had an anaconda in a satchel.
Speaker 3Pulled out a Damien Next thing you know you have like 10 kids. Jake DeSnake Roberts came out and clotheslined you. Did the guy have a mullet?
Speaker 1Yo, he booted me right in the mouth at seventh grade. It was unbelievable, fucking. You heard the bell. It was unbelievable. You heard the bell, it was nuts. So it ends up where there's like 12 of us holding this fucking thing Right. I end up at the neck head area, and when I mean Like not front seat of the roller coaster, but like yeah, close enough. Okay, when I mean the strength and the muscle and the girth, the girth of this animal, first time you ever grabbed anything girthy.
Speaker 3Huh yeah, well it's middle school yeah people gotta make money somehow anyway.
Speaker 1So it was, it's, it's, it's pure amazement, like how you know how this thing can kill things.
Speaker 3Did it latch onto you so.
Speaker 1I'm sitting there thinking I'm all cool, weaving back and forth with this fucking thing, holding it, struggling, and I hear out of the corner of my ear. I'm just like, oh, and anacondas are known to strike sometimes when you smack them down by the tail, and I was like what? Who was holding the tail? The tail was down there, I was by the head, yeah. So the guy starts smacking the tail like down by the tail.
Speaker 2The owner, the snake owner guy.
Speaker 1So I think it's. This motherfucking snake goes around me and starts constricting my neck.
Speaker 3Okay, I would give anything in the world.
Speaker 2There's gotta be video of this. I don't know.
Speaker 3Back in 7th grade somebody had a fucking shoulder. It had to be a shoulder, bro.
Speaker 1how quick how quick it was, like it just starts constricting. I start crying my eyes out as I'm running, crying on stage.
Speaker 2How hard was it to get off? It was hard. I had to Was the guy like oh shit.
Speaker 3Did you say your dick was hard?
Speaker 1I had to pull like real hard and it like it, stayed for a second and I slipped my fucking hand in.
Speaker 2Oh, so you got out. You didn't have to get rescued.
Speaker 1I took myself out, dude, I freaked the fuck out. I was gonna be eaten.
Speaker 3Was it perched over top of your head Like it was getting ready to fucking clamp you.
Speaker 2You're totally like out of Aladdin, or Anaconda, did you leave crying like while everyone's still holding the snake? Yes, oh man.
Speaker 1I ran down the fucking-. I wonder why no one has any respect for you. That's embarrassing. That's not embarrassing. I was scared.
Speaker 2You ran away crying, kevin. You ran away crying. All right, he go cry in the car, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4Speaking of crying, I know, speaking of crying.
Speaker 1I would not even have told my closest friend this story, but Kevin, kevin relinquished this story.
Speaker 2But I mean, Matt might remember this. Do you know something?
Speaker 1about him being in the fifth grade. No, no, no, no, I'm just saying and losing a tug of war.
Speaker 2So do you remember at the end of the year they'd hold those gymnasium fucking games?
Speaker 3That was field day.
Speaker 2Whatever, no, no, this was middle school. It was middle school. Yeah, this was George Fisher Middle School. Because it was middle school. Yeah, this was george fisher middle school.
Speaker 3Um, because it was um I mean, I certainly remember we had all the gladiator games when we were in school dodgeball, tug of war, yeah, it was like wrestling.
Speaker 2It was like a multi-day event at the end of the year like you like. It was just like the gymnasium, I don't know Sounds like my daughter's tournament.
Speaker 3Did you hear this story?
Speaker 2So like I won a couple of events, you know Like there was like a kickball thing- he's nationally ranked. There was like a bunch of things and it was like you know, I think I won like best guy whatever. And there was like a girl won. They won best guy whatever, most athletic, yeah, best guy, whatever.
Speaker 1What is that?
Speaker 3Did you throw an 80 mile an hour fastball that day?
Speaker 1No, no, I won best guy, whatever.
Speaker 3No, but there was like a there was a thing, a, thing, Like yeah, there was a whole bunch of different shit.
Speaker 2It was almost like the Olympics, almost right. All right, so you're the Bruce Jenner Paraplegic Olympics, if you want to rate it like that. Sure, and the girl winner was Lynn Albert. You remember Lynn Albert, I certainly do. All right, she was a giant. Yes, right, tall, tall girl. Yeah, I mean, especially for you. Sorry, buddy, I had to get one in. So Mr McCall, the gym teacher yes, I recall he had us do like tug of war, like everybody's holy fuck, I do remember this and she beat me yes, she did.
Speaker 2Yeah, remember this. And she beat me. Yes, she did. Yeah, it was like fifth grade, though you know it wasn't like eighth grade. I think I could have won at eighth grade, but in fifth grade she got me man she was like, she was like five, seven in fifth grade yeah, she was, she was a tall girl and the worst thing is about this did you shit yourself during the tug?
Speaker 3of war.
Speaker 2I can't think of anything worse than that so my like my uncle, with the bear story I told you about you know, like I got lost with my BB gun and stuff. So my father, my uncle and her father were hunting buddies and like since childhood, like we would go over their house. You ruined it, didn't you? Because we would go over the house for like New Year's and stuff like that and like we were friends, family friends, you know, in a sense. And man, I had to live with that through fucking, not only through middle school but throughout my like holidays, certain holidays and did you guys try to like arm wrestle anytime during the holidays?
Speaker 3no, no she would probably throw, but it was a did you try to bang her one of the holiday pork?
Speaker 2no, no dude.
Speaker 1She fucking. No, no, Get away from me little man. Heil drives him.
Speaker 3She power bombed him to the table at Christmas dinner. Get off me, minion.
Speaker 2I'm glad only one person's watching this. But yeah, you're nothing but a minion, kevin. You do remember it now, right.
Speaker 3I do remember that.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, man, yes, you do remember it now, right, I do remember that yes, Not only did I beat you in tug of war, I'll beat you in life loser.
Speaker 2Like you told the snake story, I was like man, that's so embarrassing. I was like, yeah, I got an embarrassing story from middle school. That's embarrassing, dude, dude, I got a really embarrassing story. It's really not. She was a fucking freak, you know she could dunk.
Speaker 3She was a big strong girl.
Speaker 2She could dunk in middle school.
Speaker 3And she wasn't heavy either. No, she was tall.
Speaker 2Yeah, nice kid, oh yeah great family Love them. But yeah, that's the bonus show.
Speaker 1Hey, lynn, if you gotta choose teams, can you and Kevin do a tug-of-war?
Speaker 3can we find her? Bring her out of retirement?
Speaker 2tug-of-war in the backyard like she was like a foot and a half taller than me man ship.
Speaker 3She will wreck your skinny ankle to ass right now. Oh my God.
Speaker 1So that's our stories there. It is Just a little extra on the bonus show.
Speaker 3Nice job, fellas Nice job.
Speaker 1That we can break. That's it.
Speaker 3Kevin's a faggot, wow. And Pat's a fucking retard for fucking holding the phone.
Speaker 2You know what I just wasn't as mad.
Speaker 1Why do I gotta be a retard for running?
Speaker 2I was about to be fucking eaten dude, you ran away crying when they were still holding the thing you lost to a 6'5 chick.
Speaker 3I was gonna say faggot, I could go faggot back to back. I mean you can?
Speaker 2Yeah, you can. You left the stage, bro. It's not like they were done.
Speaker 1I was gonna be swallowed like fucking ice cube, bro, like you went crying. I was looking for jennifer lopez john voight, actually, I mean, but I was looking for jennifer lopez, I at least cried by myself, not in front of everybody. I let it out, bro, I wear it on my sleeve. You went, you went to the.
Speaker 3You went to the little girl's room afterwards and you cried I don't keep it in, kevin.
Speaker 1I waited till I got home, cried in the shower.
Speaker 2I don't keep it in, kevin, I waited until I got home I cried in my room. I was in the shower like the crying game. Oh, no.
Speaker 3Oh, way to make it cringy. What sad song do you have in the background? Way to make it cringy. It's hard to say I'm sorry by Chicago. The background to make it cringy, it's hard to say I'm sorry by chicago.
Speaker 2Yeah, just why not the crying game song, yeah sorry seems to be the hardest word. Elton john oh fuck, we got two people I hope.
Speaker 3One of those is you we just, we just live stream. This doesn't matter, we'll be there for days oh, where's the fucking bluetooth bro that sucks?
Speaker 1Oh, where's the fucking Bluetooth bro that sucks? Fuck man.
Speaker 3Moment ruined, no.
Childhood Memories and Snake Phobias
Speaker 1Ruined. Why am I not connected? That's weird. Press Bluetooth Now we are. Oh, there we go. That's a nice little tone right there. That's peculiar, Right A little bit of this man. I just lost that tug-of-war to that tall bitch down the street. Now I got to go home and just and just I gotta wash this filth off of me. Her father's gonna call my father.
Speaker 3What am I gonna do to?
Speaker 4make you love me.
Speaker 8What am I?
Speaker 4gonna do to make you care? What do I do when?
Speaker 1lightning strikes me. What do I do when lightning strikes me? Yeah, what was her name and a way to find Lynn? Albert, it's fine.
Speaker 2Fifth grade. What do I do To make you love Lynn? Fifth grade. It's fifthth grade people well, I'm just saying.
Speaker 3The story seems to have stuck with you it was like 118 pounds pure fucking muscle.
Speaker 2No, you get to do a lot of pull ups. That's why I was there.
Speaker 1I was there to win. I was there to win. Fucking tournament, bro. Fucking kicked the ball Really far.
Speaker 2I did a couple of things Like fucking awesome and I ended up fucking.
Speaker 1Yeah, watch how far I can throw this boomerang?
Speaker 3See, it was just teaching you Early in life what happens when you Try to excel Right.
Speaker 1Remember the Nerf boomerang?
Speaker 2Maybe you remember the Nerf boomerang I was gonna say maybe she was like really a dude in like the first transgenic.
Speaker 3No.
Speaker 4Don't even go there, no.
Speaker 1Is she swimming for University of Penn now?
Speaker 3Unless she pegged you at one of the holiday dinners, I beat you a tug of war. Now take this.
Speaker 1I pick things up and put them down Right on you, small Kevin.
Speaker 2Little K. I was getting so many compliments at the start of the show. You guys just can't help yourself. Let's do a bonus show and fucking shit on them. Get on your knees, little boy. Tug on this. Hey, tug on this.
Speaker 3It's me lynn albert no, come on come on getting mean, there you're out of water.
Speaker 2sorry you're out. You're out of water, sorry You're out of water.
Speaker 3You're out of water.
Speaker 1Who's being mean? The way you make it sound, that's the way she must have been talking. 6'5" in fifth grade.
Speaker 2She was tall. She was tall dude. She was a no-joke. 6-something in fifth grade.
Speaker 3Yeah, I think she ended up going to play D1 basketball Somewhere.
Speaker 2I think she like played varsity High school basketball as like a Fucking 6th or 7th grader Yep.
Speaker 1Yeah she was. She's got all the stats.
Speaker 2How come I don't remember. It's not so bad when, like you hear, you know.
Speaker 3Well, no, it is. I mean, it's still bad don't get.
Speaker 2I mean it's not so bad. When, like you hear, you know Well, no, it is. I mean it's still bad. Don't get me wrong, it is for you. Yeah, trust me, I fucking lived it, dude. I had to live it. Man, I had to live it the day after. Get on your knees and take this. I didn't hear the end of that shit until like sophomore year of high school. Bro, why?
Speaker 3did he even stop? Did you cry, were you?
Speaker 2our first friend. I told you I cried alone.
Speaker 1Were you our first friend to be pegged?
Speaker 2No, I was not pegged. Never been pegged, buddy, I don't know about that.
Speaker 3We're going to talk to the assassin about that, see, if we can't make that happen. I peg him all the time, but she might not know what Peggy is.
Speaker 4I'm like you're talking. Get stuck in there.
Speaker 3Get the fuck out of there, let's do a bonus show. They said It'd be great.
Speaker 1Well, ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, thank you for joining us for our bonus show. I like that.
Speaker 2Yeah, thanks.
Speaker 1No, I actually like that. That's cool, like when we come up with something just quick.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm not afraid of sharing.
Speaker 3Had to go.
Speaker 1I do not like snakes. That's it. I don't have to be a pussy for, not For running and crying.
Speaker 3Snakes or spiders. What's worse?
Speaker 1I would say, just because you see spiders, I would say spiders, there's a lot out there.
Speaker 2And they're fucking ugly. See, I would have thought you would have went snakes From your experience.
Speaker 1Well, now it's just, I think, because I think spiders, yeah, what is up with that? What, these fucking spiders that are supposed to be coming up from the south? Propaganda?
Speaker 2The flying spiders? Yeah, dude, that was like a year or so ago I don't know.
Speaker 1That's what I've been hearing on the news, though.
Speaker 2No, but yeah, I don't know if it's happening again, but it was like a year ago.
Speaker 3We've seen it on social media. It's all propaganda.
Speaker 2Don't fly, they just get caught up in the wind. Did you guys hear something up there?
Speaker 1No, just looking for spiders. I hate spiders. I think you have more access to spiders than you do snakes.
Speaker 2You know what I mean. I suppose you know there's a lot of snakes in the yard man.
Speaker 3Apparently not in this yard.
Speaker 1No, his fucking yard's like a fairway.
Speaker 3He's got spitting garter snakes in his yard.
Speaker 2He's got spitting garter snakes Like I probably saw like six today. One got me by the hot tub, like when I was like, what do you mean by got you? Well, like it was a lot bigger Than the one I took a picture of Crawled up your leg.
Speaker 2It was a lot bigger than the one I took a picture of. Pegged me in the hot tub, crawled up your leg. It was a lot bigger than the one I took a picture of. I'm going to show you a real peg. I jumped when I saw it fucking move. It was Sizable, it was thick.
Speaker 1What kind of snake? A garter snake A Barry. They're all garter snakes man, a Barry, what A Barry, what A Barry Wood. That's a big fucking snake dude. I don't want any part of that either.
Speaker 2No, but this one was pretty big. I was like, ooh, I didn't know they got that big.
Speaker 3Johnny Pica said Spider Flu is on the way.
Speaker 2Oh man, johnny Pica for the bonus show. Alright, does Pica remember that? Or was he one of them? Fucking Kennedy kids. Keep her name out, your motherfucking mouth or one of them. Um fucking saint james kids. Was he a saint james kid?
Speaker 3oh, I don't know. Was he in middle school? I think he was in middle school. You were middle school, what else were you?
Speaker 2yeah had to be pretty sure I always forget who were like the, the saint james kids. Yeah, you know that showed up at high school like mike muldoon. Yeah, you know like. Yeah, it was just like a little quirky thing about high school saint james until sixth grade. So yeah, see I thought oh no, so yeah, so you missed the beating. So yeah, he may have missed it, because I think I'm pretty sure I hope it was fifth grade. You've heard it here first. Does he even know what we're talking about?
Speaker 1No, he's George Fisher.
Speaker 2seventh and eighth grade, that's when he was in, so he missed it.
Speaker 1He missed the Lynn Albert beating. Well that makes sense.
Speaker 3We played baseball in eighth grade. Yeah, albert, well, that makes sense. We, we played. We played baseball in eighth grade. Yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 1All right, I think everybody played baseball.
Speaker 2Yeah, cause there was like a school team, pat. There was like a population of St James kids that did come in at like seventh grade. Yes, yeah, like a handful.
Speaker 3I think, I think Maddie Higgins did elementary school with us and then he he took a quick hiatus to, uh, to Catholic school and then came back.
Speaker 2We're like neighbor friends that went to school. No, they're like the Amish what, what, coming into public school from like a Catholic school.
Speaker 3He didn't have electricity and they rode horses.
Speaker 2I'm just saying it was different.
Speaker 1I mean, it's significantly different in your eyes.
Speaker 2And it'd peak his eyes. I'm sure it was too man Fucking. St James sucked. I had a few.
Speaker 3St James Peek his last comment.
Speaker 2Oh, my God.
Speaker 1You're not wrong, johnny. You're not wrong, johnny, you're not wrong.
Speaker 4I remember thinking I could stand up and perform cunnilingus on her.
Speaker 1That's.
Speaker 2That's the comment that ends the show right there exclamation point that's a term I haven't heard in a long time, kind of lingos since you were married engaged since you were married.
Speaker 1Engaged, I mean, let's be honest, engaged, you know touche that just came out, that just came out, that just just came out of his mouth, oh you know, choose your words better, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3Be better, be better, be you don't, don't, don't, lose tug of wars to women remember thinking I could stand up.
Speaker 1Remember thinking you have any crazy embarrassing fucking george fisher middle school moments like yeah I tried to stand up and give uh, give her some kind of legalists, and I got what?
Speaker 3I'm sure I do nothing.
Speaker 2Nothing, maddie it's still, it's still not as bad as mark cochran shitting, shitting himself after Joe Wallace hit him with a dodgeball.
Speaker 3No, no, no. Exclamation point period. You know.
Bus Ride Mischief With M80s
Speaker 2End. Yeah, like we know that's the winner. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, was Pika there for that? I mean he may have been.
Speaker 3I might have been.
Speaker 2It was later, in middle school, when Joe was fucking developed. You know the guy was shaving in like fourth grade.
Speaker 4He was shaving before Dave Morgan.
Speaker 1Jeff Storms was like that. Remember Jeff Storms, he was shaving before Dave Morgan. Yeah, dude, dave was Dave's one of the hairiest.
Speaker 3But Joe was a fucking, awesome, fucking athlete, until he fucking folded his knee back the wrong way.
Speaker 1He wants to know what grade that was in Fifth. So he wasn't in then.
Speaker 2If he doesn't remember, it was before seventh or eighth, because it's not something you would forget.
Speaker 1No, Because Kevin's so epic with his fucking. Oh, oh, what about your? What about my? What your M80s?
Speaker 2We're just gonna throw that out. No sort of.
Speaker 1You sounded like you had some Some parental issues when you were younger.
Speaker 2So what do you want to hear?
Speaker 1The beginning of Jesse James.
Speaker 3Oh, ah, here we go. It's going to be a fucking hour long bonus show.
Speaker 2Right, a fucking extra bonus show. So you want to hear the whole purchasing?
Speaker 3We'll start with the purchasing.
Speaker 2What grade are you in? It was either 6th or 7th Somewhere around there. Okay, I had bought a bag of M80s Off of one, mr Frank Perry now, when you say A bag like it's like 40 to 50.
Speaker 1Can I just say what Pika said, what I just remember Getting untimely boners In Mrs Hill's English class.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, she was cute, so is the Wow. One of like yeah she was cute, so was the Wow. One of the home ec teachers was cute too.
Speaker 3You're talking about Miss Holtzman.
Speaker 2Maybe Hoffman. It was Hoffman too, wasn't it? And then she got married and it became Holtzman oh, I don't know, like yeah, but anyway. So I bought a bag of M80s.
Speaker 3Yeah, but anyway.
Speaker 2So I bought a bag of Bought, a bag of M80s, yeah, and What'd you do with said M80s? Kev. Well, I brought them home On the bus and on the ride home Huge fan.
Speaker 3Bubba Joe.
Speaker 1Mason. We were telling people the 18th To watch Fox To watch Beat, shazam Shazam people the 18th to watch Fox to watch beat.
Speaker 2Shazam.
Speaker 1Shazam beat Shazam, you're on it national TV throwing high five to who cloned Tyrone and we're gonna have we want you on the show after this airs so we can talk about we want to talk about your experience.
Speaker 2Yeah, if your game so after this airs so we can talk about your experience If you're game. So I'm on the bus and I'm I've decided to we're back to 7th grade with the bag of Emmys.
Speaker 3Back to the nostalgia.
Speaker 2I've decided to light some and throw them out the window as we're driving home.
Speaker 3Why did you have a lighter as a 7th grade? What the fuck is going through your brain, I mean were you rocking? I a lighter as a seventh grade. What the fuck is going through your brain, I mean, were you rocking?
Speaker 1I mean, is this a real question? After like stories that I told you guys, did you have cigarettes rolled up in your sleeve, did you no Okay, so I knew I was getting them.
Speaker 2And I was going to blow some up at the ball field in Hill and Dale Before I got home. All right, okay, the ball field. Who calls it the ball field? That's what it was called the ball field, the field of dreams, but anyway. So I'm lighting them 80s, throwing them out the window and like they're exploding, well, after we've I've thrown them out the window.
Speaker 3Now what road are you on that? You're throwing these out the window. We're on Fair Street. Okay, so, middle of the day, Fair Street.
Speaker 2Well, it's the end of it. It's whatever time. What 3 o'clock? What time was middle school lit up?
Speaker 1Getting close to dark because it's in October.
Speaker 2Yeah, halloween. Well, no, it's not getting close to dark, it's 3 o'clock. 3 o'clock in the air 3.45, whatever, I forget what time it was but anyway. So I've thrown a couple out the window All right. And the bus is driving and I go to throw it out the window and I fumble and it goes to the floor.
Speaker 3So there's a lit M-80 on the bus.
Speaker 2There's a lit M-80 on the bus. It goes underneath the seat, luckily, luckily, lit m80 on the bus. Right goes underneath the seat, luckily, luckily, I was sitting in front of the hump the wheel. Well, we, we all know the hump. Yeah, you know, yeah, and it.
Speaker 3It stuck in the little like oh, so it didn't roll to the back of the bus no, it didn't catch.
Speaker 2there was like a little fucking alleyway on the end where it could, but it it didn't. It stayed like in the middle and I, just like I had all I had to go under one seat and I it was arm's length and I got it. And I'm now I'm like fucking, I get it out the window.
Speaker 3Right, and it's trying not to Jason, pierre, pull yourself before, exactly.
Speaker 2And and many other people besides myself, you know, um, so it gets out the window and it doesn't get like into the woods, like across the road, because I was sitting on like the driver's side of the school bus. Okay, and um, so it it fucking bounces on the road and momentum from you know the bus, it doesn't like bounce into the woods, it, it's bouncing down the road like in the shoulder gully guardrail area. Yeah, and it it bounces like twice and the rolls underneath the car at like St Michael's terrace and blows up underneath the car Like the car didn't blow up like I. I'm pretty sure nobody was harmed in the making of this moment of my life there was probably some underwear that were soiled, oh yeah yeah, dude, because you could see it come out from underneath like the flash, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, so that was the last one we did for that ride, okay, and we waited till we got um off the bus and and then what did we do, kev? Well, the other story wasn't that day, you know, all right, all right, like. This was like a good, maybe like a week or two before Halloween, dude we just got some fan mail.
Speaker 1Nice from who On Buzzsprout? On Buzzsprout. Yeah, fai, it's something. Ridgefield, connecticut, where can I watch live Nice? How do I respond to this?
Speaker 2With where.
Speaker 3Why is that coming from New Fairfield Connecticut? That sounds like richfield he said rich.
Speaker 2Oh, I thought he said new fairfield. You did the old fantasy mix-up, gps, mix-up, save. How do I uh, I don't know how to move up under a fucking car. I don't know how to respond to this shit. Thank god for that home, dude, like thank god that home.
Speaker 3There'd be some bitch with nine toes and you'd still be paying her.
Speaker 1I don't know how to respond to it.
Speaker 3We'll figure it out after this. Yeah, I just got that too.
Speaker 1You got it too. Yeah, that's weird Fan mail, though it's nice.
Speaker 3Super fan, ben, by the way, is the uh fenway park? Nobody, you know what it may be. Mikey who uh? Oh, oh, fuck that guy mikey d.
Speaker 2No, no, daughter mikey. She just texted me what? What do you live stream the podcast on facebook asking so maybe that's the fan mail. I don't know. If that's the fan mail, I don't know.
Speaker 1No, all he has to do is if he likes us on Facebook, he can find us. You get the notification. Yeah, just tell him to search for the Ticket Deep Show.
Speaker 2Is it only on Facebook or is it on anything else? Right now, only on Facebook. No, yeah, we stopped the thing.
Speaker 1Twitch. We stopped a long time ago that just got I don't know.
Speaker 3See, I like how we're talking here, just all relaxed. It's nice. Well, we're done with the show. This is just bonus material.
Speaker 2Am I going further into the M80s. I don't know if you can, because, well, the M80s I can. The other thing is different firework.
Speaker 3No, no, we're not going.
Speaker 1You're teeter tottering on Serial killer. All you need to do is coach Little League, so You're not discussing that.
Speaker 3You're teeter-tottering on serial killer.
Speaker 2All you need to do is coach Little League. So we had this Canadian goose problem Geese, canadian geese, they're just nasty fucking animals. Topic one animal mutilation, animal mutilation, and you've heard me refer to the ball field a few times now.
Speaker 1Yes, yes.
Speaker 2So it was a baseball field. You played baseball football, you know we know what happened.
Geese, Explosives, Tug of War
Speaker 2You know we lost all like yeah, grew up there, you fucking played there a lot, Met the neighborhood kids down there or whatever. You know, Um, and you just get covered in goose shit. You know, you came home green, it wasn't grass stains, it was fucking goose shit. So you know, I fished a lot too. So like the fucking annoying with that too. So what one day with the M eighties, I, um, I blacked tape some bread you actually went slices of bread around the M 80.
Speaker 2You actually went into the fridge and got the white bread and and you black taped, electric taped it to the M, eighties, yeah, and would throw it in the water and the geese would come swimming over to the bread Like Ooh, cause people would feed the geese all the time. And then, except I, fed him with electrical tape and then kablooey, you know boom you killed one.
Speaker 2Um no, unfortunately. You know, boom, you killed one. Um no, unfortunately, because they'd swim over to it and then it's kind of still be smoking a little bit. Then it would like swim away and like it, it get caught a little bit. It wouldn't. It wasn't quite the ending I was hoping, but what was the? Ending you were hoping for. I went to blow the fucking thing to bits. Man, like I said, I fucking hated those things and I had fucking explosives does this all stem from your tug of war loss?
Speaker 2you know what it could be, man are you trying to? It could be, you know is every can Canadian goose Definitely after the tuck.
Speaker 1Is every Canadian goose to you, Lynn Albert.
Speaker 2I don't know, man, I'm going to have to go to therapy for that one. I'm going to have to get some ink blots or something, I think.
Speaker 3Hey, Pat, I think we need to put a couch in the studio.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm sure we can get Dr Jizz Paws in here. Oh, geez, no Hi, we come here for your problem. Hi, hello, kevin, hi Hi, you don't like tall women. Huh Hi, tall women scare you PTSD. Okay, what happened when I say no wonder you don't like the WNBA.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, my God, maybe that's it.
Speaker 3Oh my God, that is it. Look at us connecting dots, making fucking progress.
Speaker 1I feel so free now, oh, kevin.
Speaker 2That's a crazy fucking line to draw, though Six-five bitch chop you down, Kevin. Oh my God.
Speaker 1Six-five chop you down, lynn. Six-five she step all over you. God, she, oh man.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm gonna need a cigarette.
Speaker 1She going through Tokyo. Oh, here come Lin. Hey, watch out, kevin, I'm gonna step on you, tug of war go.
Speaker 3Actually, the more I fucking think about it. Not only did she beat you, but she beat you bad.
Speaker 2Quickly. Yeah, because, like honestly, like I remember, like it started quicker than I expected and I just couldn't recover. Does Joe remember it? Why is it hidden?
Speaker 1it says. I think I had a similar experience. Mr Snyder paired me up against three girls in the tug of war. I didn't get a good grip in the rope on the rope and it burned half the skin off my finger. Did you lose, joe?
Speaker 2does joe remember my loss? Because it was like the entire gym was like, if they could, they were throwing tomatoes at me.
Speaker 1You know can you turn the glare down on Pat's head? That's terrible.
Speaker 3Fucked up, mike. Put your fucking hat back on.
Speaker 1Boldy Is it? Is it glaring?
Speaker 2It's a little shiny man.
Speaker 1I thought you were talking about pale pasty. Kevin, over to the left, yeah, man.
Speaker 2Wow, I'm jaundiced at worst.
Speaker 1I got a yellow tint. Shit is my head shining that much.
Speaker 2Matt looks orange. He looks like the Donald. Does it look like that on Facebook too?
Speaker 3too. Yeah, a little bit it does yeah we have to work on the lighting I got a huge glare off my head.
Speaker 1I guess maybe get some some yellow like that doesn't look, doesn't look crazy glary no, a little bit man oh, I see where I look like. I have a fucking like a diamond here or something I could shoot out. Lasers Patel, oh.
Speaker 2Sorry, definitely got like fucking bronzer on.
Speaker 1Looking around his tattoo and inside His arm right. Job there, donald. All right. What do you think about this bonus show? I'm fucking crying Bad.
Speaker 340 minutes Of shame yeah, all right. What do you think about this?
Speaker 1bonus show Not bad 40 minutes of shame. Yeah, that's all it was. That's all it was.
Speaker 2That's how you title it.
Speaker 1Joe says I did and I don't remember, but it's a great story, thanks pal.
Speaker 2Always willing to share the great ones, classic Except one. Always willing to share the great ones, classic Except one Can you imagine what it smells like in the paint during a WNBA game. Who said that? Where is that? Who said that Scroll, the scroll Scroll. Who said that Come on, oh Pika, you're the scroll, come on.
Speaker 3Oh Pika, you're the best we went from. Keep her name out your motherfucking mouth. Could you imagine?
Speaker 1what the paint smells like. That's gross.
Speaker 3All right then.
Speaker 1I think that's where we have to call it quits after that.
Speaker 3Happy Father's Day again, ladies and gentlemen, quits after that Happy.
Speaker 1Father's Day again. Ladies and gentlemen, you have yourself a great Father's Day. We're signing off finally. Again, again, unless we come up with something funny again, we promise.
Fathers Day Banter and Music
Speaker 3We can play another song.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, we are, yeah, we are. You guys get your cowbell.
Speaker 2Oh boy Okay.
Speaker 1You get your cowbell.
Speaker 3Oh boy, okay, you get your tambourine and we're not gonna do. Sorry, seems to be the hardest word no.
Speaker 4No, no, we're not, I'm sorry, so sorry all right, all right, here we go.
Speaker 1You ready? All right, all right, here we go.
Speaker 5You ready? Nothing to do, no way to go. I won't be sleeping. Just give me just a little more Slowly on a plane, hurry, hurry, hurry, before I go insane. I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain. Oh, no, no, no, no. So when it's 2024, I was a fool.
Speaker 6I won't be sleeping. Nothing to do, no way to go, yeah, way to fucking close it out.
Speaker 1That was great. Later everybody. I like that one so much better. I lost to a girl, instead of I sleep in a drawer I lost to a girl Instead of I sleep in a drawer.
Speaker 3I lost to a girl.
Speaker 1Ladies and gentlemen, you have yourself, especially our male friends out there. Happy Father's Day to you, fellas. Enjoy it. We're not going to be on tomorrow.
Speaker 3I guess we'll be cooking our own meals and doing other things that we shouldn't be doing.
Speaker 1Not sharing, not talking about our feelings.
Speaker 3No, definitely not talking about our feelings. Just being men, although I may text Kevin to make sure he's okay After that tug of war loss, I don't know if I would, I'd probably let him be for a night.
Speaker 2I'm fine now. It's kind of funny. We've got to the root of my hate of the.
Speaker 1WNBA.
Speaker 2Marv Albert's niece. It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1We've got to the root of my hate of the WNBA. Lynn Albert, marv Albert's niece. Imagine it was Marv Albert's niece.
Speaker 3Cut the show All right guys, Stop it.
Speaker 1Take it deep. We're out of here.
Speaker 2What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 4T-T-T-T-T. Outro Music.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
The Joe Rogan Experience
Joe Rogan
The Tim Dillon Show
The Tim Dillon Show
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Theo Von
REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal
Jon Bernthal
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
YMH Studios