The Take It Deep Show
Welcome to the TID Show, where a dynamic group of friends fearlessly dive into the unfiltered realities of life. With a raw and uncensored approach, we'll have you laughing uncontrollably. Join us on this roller coaster journey through the beautifully chaotic shit storm of life. If you're up for a candid exploration of the ups, downs, and everything in between, you're in for an unforgettable experience. Ready to take the plunge? Welcome to the depths of TID!
The Take It Deep Show
Fathers Day Special: Bear Hunt Banter, and Middle School Mayhem
Send us your thoughts and possible requests for show topics.
Ever wondered what happens when you mix a cowbell, a cymbal, and a tambourine with a dash of wild humor? Brace yourself for a rollercoaster of laughs as we debut our band, featuring Kevin, Mattieand myself, and navigate the hilarities of our musical mischief. From the peculiarities of copyright in music remixes to our adventures with a cat affectionately nicknamed Agent Wonton, this episode is packed with outrageous anecdotes. We also recount the highs and lows of a recent baseball game with all the misunderstandings and friendly jabs you'd expect.
Ever thought about wrapping a dog in bacon for a bear hunt? Neither did we, until now! Join us as we humorously debate the logistics of a live bear hunt, sharing laughs about mysterious forest noises and movie references from "Tropic Thunder" to "Tommy Boy." We mix in our thoughts on bands like R.E.M. and the relatable chores of hot tub maintenance. Plus, don't miss our sports commentary on the WNBA and NBA playoffs, where race and media attention take center stage, all delivered with our signature wit and humor.
What’s the wildest thing you got up to in middle school? We revisit our mischievous days with tales of fireworks, early puberty, and memorable teachers. Listen as we face our fears of spiders and snakes, reminisce about childhood competitions, and share the chaos of being sports parents. From nostalgic tug-of-war losses to humorous reflections on modern media narratives and societal shifts, this episode promises a blend of humor, thoughtful discussions, and genuine camaraderie. Get ready for an episode filled with laughs, memories, and unpredictable fun!
mine's up a lot higher than yours. Yeah, yeah, you'd like it loud, or you need a loud, I guess I like it loud all right speaking aloud even when you're by yourself lit.
Speaker 1:Whatever, let's get lit. Are you ready? I think it's time all right. So we're gonna, we're gonna debut our, our band. We got kevin on the cowbell, we got maddie on the fucking cymbals, the tambourine, and I'm on skin. We're doing skin as per se usual. Yes, all right, skin on skin, here we go. You ready for this? This is fucking great Debut Father's Day.
Speaker 3:Go.
Speaker 1:Don't you fuck this up, Kevin.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's see how long it takes before we get kicked off. Can we forget about the things?
Speaker 3:I said when I was drunk Did the lights go down. I didn't call you back. I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me.
Speaker 4:Please tell me, please tell me why. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1:And uh, Echoes of Eternity. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 4:Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic that I'm sorry, what a way to start the holiday.
Speaker 1:There's nothing that tops that. I'm sorry, back with a bit juice. We were just coming back into the music too. There's nothing. His cowbell, that was phenomenal, I mean that was spot on, thank you. Thank you, appreciate that I've never seen anybody happier to play with a cowbell than I did. Number one rated cowbell player. We're going to have the number one rated cowboy bell song or episode on Good.
Speaker 2:Pods.
Speaker 3:More cowbell.
Speaker 2:Can we play that as long as we want, because we're redoing it really, yeah, why not Like there's no copyright thing there?
Speaker 1:No, I don't think so, even though you're playing the original song in the background.
Speaker 3:Nothing to see here. There's nothing going on. Probably can't put that on YouTube.
Speaker 2:No, no, definitely not we were just sampling it in our song.
Speaker 1:Maybe we cut that. Can we Send that out? In a 30-second clip and be like can you guys remix this? A little TikTok maybe? Yeah, I think we just started something we may have just started something.
Speaker 3:Yes, the dogs are throwing a hissy fit. That's what we started.
Speaker 1:Is that what's going on upstairs? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:There's some action.
Speaker 1:Shit.
Speaker 3:You think it's a bear. I hope homeless rib is okay.
Speaker 2:Wanton. We're calling her Wonton.
Speaker 3:It floats off the tongue a little. Agent Wonton Is that the official name is Wonton.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 3:Agent.
Speaker 1:Agent Wonton. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Father's Day special of the Take a Deep Show. Chinese spy. We have a Chinese spy in Camp Thunderson.
Speaker 3:I guess that's better than E6. What, who? I don't want to sound more like a baseball game today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what happened? No, no good, I heard you had a day though.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm not going to lie to you. Were you hit by a pitch? I'm not going to lie to you. Kev Matty Farben had a good day at the plate today.
Speaker 2:Nice, nice. It's good to hear yeah.
Speaker 3:What did you do? We were two for four. We didn't have any strikeouts.
Speaker 1:We did not get hit by a pitch today.
Speaker 3:That hurt my on-base percentage a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's usually every game he gets hit by a pitch. You had two hits in the game.
Speaker 3:I did have two hits in the game.
Speaker 2:yes, how many hits you got this year? Shut up, bitch.
Speaker 3:There it is. I mean bitch, oh my god.
Speaker 1:There it is. I mean, that was a great lead-in.
Speaker 2:That was fucking fantastic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was good timing. Fucking spot on. Yeah, we gotta get a couple more teammates to show up to the games and get people playing in the right positions. I almost had to go out to right field, for God's sake. Ooh, I'm just in the right positions.
Speaker 1:I almost had to go out to right field, for God's sake. I'm just trying to picture that.
Speaker 3:Poor Darren's like yeah, I got a little vertigo. Do you want to go out to the outfield? I'm like fuck no, shocker, fuck no.
Speaker 1:I don't want to go out to the outfield. The Shocker had some vertigo going. Yeah, you think it was from giving out too many Shockers.
Speaker 2:What was that little gesture? What?
Speaker 1:was that the shocker? His last name's Shocker, so I call him the Shocker.
Speaker 3:I don't care what that is. You don't know what the Shocker is. Are you fucking serious right now? What?
Speaker 2:Really, I don't know, maybe I'm lost. I don't know the international sign.
Speaker 1:International sign for the shocker Two in the pink, one in the pink.
Speaker 2:Okay, I just didn't know it was called that.
Speaker 3:I don't know, sorry man Apparently on the sexual cartoons he watches on Amazon Prime.
Speaker 1:He knows everything I wasn't watching. He just doesn't know the shocker.
Speaker 3:First of all, they don't discuss what the shocker is. What was that?
Speaker 2:cartoon. I don't know, dude, it's whatever you were watching.
Speaker 1:I was watching the boys and then the boys ended.
Speaker 3:There we go. The roommates are arguing again.
Speaker 1:No, the boys ended and then that came on. You watch boys, oh boy, it's a show that you don't like. You're like oh, I watched it after one season. It's actually a good show. Yeah, apparently.
Speaker 2:I should have kept watching it.
Speaker 3:You should have that shit was kind of interesting, Apparently in the credits there's pornographic cartoons.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure if it's the credits, I think it's a show.
Speaker 1:There's a show, dude, I don't know what the fuck was just on Amazon Prime, but some dude was banging some chick in a hot tub Spit roast. She wasn't spit roasted, okay.
Speaker 3:And then Are you familiar with that term?
Speaker 2:Yeah, just checking.
Speaker 3:All right, rotisserie, that's it Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, all right, if you want to think of it that way it's just making sure we're all the same, it rotisserie.
Speaker 3:That's it.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, all right if you want to think of it that way let's just make it sure we're all the same. It's a little weird so the wonder writer so much so this dude's banging this chick in a cartoon from behind and then ends up getting murdered and then there was what a way to go right and then there was that other one was she hot she looked like she was yeah, jessica Rabbit, hot, so we're talking then we're watching, then we're watching Jessica Rabbit.
Speaker 3:Hot is hot yep, just chasing viewers away with that one. No, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:first of all, if you're a viewer and you're, and you're getting away from that with Jessica Rabbit you're gay.
Speaker 2:If you tune into us regularly and we're stalking cartoon porn, there's no reason for you to leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, seriously, you know what you're in for when you're missing out.
Speaker 3:It's tough to pick up new viewers when that happens, but we'll suck it up.
Speaker 1:I'm sure we can get some furry viewers.
Speaker 3:We're going to put you in a panda suit.
Speaker 1:I'm down, furry fucking head, I'm down, dude, I'm down. Furry fucking head, I'm down. But then what happened with the guy and the chick? And then the next morning this girl turns into a cat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she had a tail and whiskers and shit.
Speaker 1:And then she bent over a little seductively.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she said I've always wanted to be a pussy. When she did that, when she hunched- down. She arched Did you hear that? She said that yeah, that's, when I looked at you, I was like what? And you were like what was that? I didn't know, you didn't?
Speaker 1:I just went with the cartoon porn position she was in. She's like I always wanted to be a pussy.
Speaker 3:And she fucking arches her back like a cat is fucking. It's got funny then kind of got me hard.
Speaker 1:There's no more squiggly lines on the spice channel. No, it's just straight straight. Uh, this shit, this shit has got the chip cartoon porn all right.
Speaker 3:Do you remember that?
Speaker 2:did you access the so player porn?
Speaker 1:no, no, I swear lies.
Speaker 3:I swear to god on that did you see on your tv before when it, when he, he deleted what he was to search for stretched milfs anime kitty cats.
Speaker 1:Since there's a new cat in the house, I'm like kitty cat Might as well you know Now. Was there anything crazy that had happened to you at all this week? Kev.
Speaker 2:Are we talking about the outside adventure? Yeah, is that what we're talking about? That sounds a little.
Speaker 1:Was it like that?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:What about that? It kind of feels like it was that's close. We could hear it. We could hear it, but we can't see it. I hear what it ate yeah there was something in the woods.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna lie. What do you think it was?
Speaker 1:I could have been a bear um uh, if, if you were, if you know, if you were to put money on it.
Speaker 2:I would say bear, yeah, why? Just the sounds it was making. And when it started to move at a more than gingerly pace through the woods, it sounded like it was coming through the woods, like it was charging. Not charging, but just you know it was walking with a purpose. Yeah, yeah, did you eat mushrooms? No, I wish I did, though what's going on here?
Speaker 1:No, I'm just thinking about the noise and I'm thinking about you, like how you're going to respond to that.
Speaker 2:I don't have PTSD, but I'm okay, I don't know, all right, so it didn't rape me.
Speaker 3:You were not spit-roasted by the animal in the woods. Sounds like he's going to town. That's actually just audio from Pat taking it.
Speaker 1:I had to go out and get that audio for myself. He was in full mount on me. Just to let you know the shit I do for the show.
Speaker 3:Have we officially decided which dog we're going to wrap in bacon and leave outside to see if it's a bear?
Speaker 2:I said, I got that chicken. We have a rotiss, that chicken oh.
Speaker 1:You know, we have a rotisserie chicken I mean, that doesn't sound like fun. Scout wrapped in bacon and fucking honey.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of bacon. Dude, have you been to the store lately? Yeah, it's expensive, fuck it, I'll buy the bacon. It's like 200 bucks worth of bacon. Yeah, I'll buy the bacon.
Speaker 1:It's like 200 bucks worth of bacon yeah, it'd fit that fat bitch. Totally worth it.
Speaker 2:That would look so funny. I could weave like a bacon vest.
Speaker 3:She'd be like what is on me? I smell delicious and I can't eat myself Hi.
Speaker 1:If you had a bacon vest on.
Speaker 3:Would you eat yourself? I think Gunner would like jump out of a second story window to get it scout with the bacon. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:That would be the worst experience ever. And then you just honey those two up and they'll end up.
Speaker 2:What is this? Uh oh, you getting a call, uh-oh.
Speaker 3:Are we getting a call?
Speaker 1:No, no, something my sister sent me. Oh, all right. Okay, what Awkward silence. No, we're good, we're good, all right, everything is all right. Yeah, yeah, just something I could bring up to the ex-wife.
Speaker 2:You're driving. That's weird.
Speaker 3:Moving on.
Speaker 2:Bear, no bear maybe a bear Something, but I was fucking, I was scared, I fucking, I ran in the house with with lit cigarette I want to throw this.
Speaker 3:I want to throw this out to the listeners. Would you guys be interested in a live facebook, live bear bear hunt?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean, who's saying no to that? I don't know, I think. I think I think kev would say no to that.
Speaker 3:I gotta bring firearms if we're doing that.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying we can't do it here. You know, we could do it somewhere, just not like in my yard, alright, so we have to.
Speaker 3:That's awkward, considering that's where the bear was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, was. I don't want it to come back. You know who says it ever left. They travel.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's stalking you. A bunch of fucking gypsies.
Speaker 2:Well, they get around.
Speaker 3:The bear stood up. He put his belongings in a little red handkerchief. I'm out of here. Stick and left.
Speaker 1:He's walking on hind foot on the railroad tracks. Come on, hey boo-boo, let's go. You know, is this the fucking bear from the Jungle Book Boo? What's his name? I don't know. I don't think that was the bear Blue.
Speaker 2:He's stuttering Fuck.
Speaker 1:I got Bear necessities, yeah, I remember that Bear. Well, you're bringing back fucking Tropic Thunder, because I watched that again.
Speaker 3:That's such a great movie, I mean dude, just say it and get it out of the way. Just get it out of the way, satan's alley.
Speaker 2:No, I know what I want to say the winner of Beijing's prestigious crying monkey award.
Speaker 3:Those videos at the beginning of the right if you could maybe to Tom Cruise. To Tom Cruise phone call, that's always a class, yeah yes that is a good one.
Speaker 1:So was. Let's see, I know this is somewhere around.
Speaker 4:There it is. Oh wait, wait, we call Fleming.
Speaker 2:I work with retards. I work with retards.
Speaker 3:That's something about Mary I work with retards. I work with retards. That's something about Mary, I work with retards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know A little REM in there. So yeah, we work with retards. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2:About the REM. It's a little weird man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that whole thing was playing the whole time because I had the music on. I'm not a big REM fan. No, no. What about the one that's in Tommy Boy? It's the end of the world as we know it.
Speaker 3:I don't particularly care for that either?
Speaker 1:No, that was a funny part of the movie.
Speaker 3:That was a funny part of the movie.
Speaker 1:I just part of the movie. I just don't. I don't like the song, I don't like the band. Fuck those guys. Why is it gonna be fuck? Those guys because, why not? I don't know who's that. Was that you? That was not me. Oh, that was you. Why are you looking at me like so? Yes, fucking creepy, what's going on over there? So so tell us your, uh, your adventures today.
Speaker 2:My adventure. Yeah, with the hot tub I was changing the fucking water, cleaning the filters. Fucking had to go get some new stuff for yeah, can we make that any more bland? Um, so I spent 500 bucks at the, at the spa place, getting salt and fucking spit roasted. Yeah, certain chemicals and whatnot had to get the cartridges.
Speaker 3:Did you have to pay or were you able to trade in sexual favors? No, I had to pay.
Speaker 2:Jerk off a bear, or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, wow, I don't know that one just came out. Wow, sorry.
Speaker 3:Trying to spice this up Right.
Speaker 2:Too much too fast.
Speaker 3:We got to get a hold of Bubba Joe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we do, I hope he wins Whoever's watching on Tuesday at 8, it's the 18th, I know that. So on June 18th on Fox, I believe, at 8 pm the game show is. The game show is Beat Shazam Our very own, our very own, one of our number one fans, bubba Joe Mason is going to be on the show. So if you're out there and you're listening, you got to give it a watch. Yeah, just two of you just write it down okay.
Speaker 2:Just write it down. I'm pumped, pumped to watch. He's like an encyclopedia.
Speaker 1:No, that's what I Said. The same exact thing too. And then but there's people like that are probably Crazier than him with music and shit, maybe. And then I see the so called score that he posted Online. Now am I? I'm sitting there thinking does he do that purposely? Because he's down like 4,000 points. It's an Ali-like comeback and he come back and wins, but it's supposedly. Even though you're teamed up with somebody, it's still you against them, which is weird. Okay, so you're going against two other teams.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's the lowest point, total wins. No, I'm not familiar with it.
Speaker 2:Golf beat Shazam. He was 4,000 under par yeah.
Speaker 1:So listen, as much as that motherfucker knows. I hope he wins. I'm going to be rooting him on.
Speaker 3:After the show airs. After the show airs. After the show airs. We have to have him on. He'll be on. I got to hear what it was like to meet and hang out with Jamie Foxx.
Speaker 2:To high five Jamie Foxx. One of those photos. He was mid high five, so something good happened.
Speaker 1:Somebody cloned Tyrone.
Speaker 3:Was it Jamie Foxx or was it Jamie FOXX?
Speaker 2:Did it feel real, Joe? Was it like a robot?
Speaker 1:Was it FOX squared or Jamie Foxx?
Speaker 2:Which one?
Speaker 1:was it? It'd be awesome to be on a game show. Yeah, dude, I was almost on a game show not too long ago either.
Speaker 3:I don't even want to be on a game show anymore. All the good guys are retiring.
Speaker 1:Even Pat Sajak walked away from the Wheel of Fortune this week. Yeah, dude, how many 40 years.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean Vanna White. She's seen better days, but she's hanging around.
Speaker 1:Is she still any good looking or no? She's got to be 70 years old. She's probably a good piece of ass at 70, though.
Speaker 3:You know what, if we can get Pat Sajak on the show, we could ask why Are they banging? Well, there had to be a reason why she was on the show. Pat, this is back before.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you're talking to Pat Sajak or if you're talking to me. When you said it. I'm like is he doing that? Like he's acting like he's on the show or like he's on fucking Wheel of Fortune right now, like you buy a vial, pat? Yeah, you're like I don't know about that pat. I'm like who? Which? I mean she. I mean I probably bang her and she's 70. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah you know you can't get the dust off. That's where your 55 gallon you can't get the dust off.
Speaker 1:That's where your 55-gallon drum of KYG that's what I'm diving in like a fucking minnow Right there, going through the crevice where Pat Sajak has bunkered in a few times.
Speaker 3:So many of Pat Sajak's kids die.
Speaker 2:How about Val? Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh yeah, we can see that happening. You don't think so, god? We've only been on for 25 minutes and it feels like forever.
Speaker 3:Like what else are we ever talking about? Have a great weekend.
Speaker 2:Everyone. Happy Father's Day. I think we started out in Albuquerque.
Speaker 1:Quick play that song again. You guys want to go cowbell again? What if I did like a surprise song and then you guys have to ad-lib to it?
Speaker 3:Love cowbell.
Speaker 1:What do you think? You think you could do it.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I think you can, let's ad-lib.
Speaker 1:You're not going to know the song until I put it on. Oh, here we go, I got it.
Speaker 3:This is a good one, yeah, here we go, you ready, you better gear up, orbs.
Speaker 1:Orbs you ready, get your fucking, get your cowbell. Oh, so we're doing ad-libs, oh okay.
Speaker 3:All right, it's kind of like mad libs yeah, this one's a good one.
Speaker 1:This one's a good one. We just listen. We just listened to a little while ago I'll see you know, maybe I get a kick going here.
Speaker 3:What do you want?
Speaker 1:full percussion, all right, I got a drum set. Let's see how long we can play this before we get kicked. Off you ready, always ready. Off you ready.
Speaker 4:Always ready, I'm off, you're way off.
Speaker 1:I like that light little tone to it, matty, it's good.
Speaker 3:Maria. He went from cowbell to fish. He went to fish.
Speaker 1:He looked at the stick. I'm like this dude is on point today. Seriously, he's like fucking Dave Grohl on the drums over here Unbelievable. That was impressive. You were fucking way off.
Speaker 2:He's like fucking Dave.
Speaker 1:Grohl on the drums over here Unbelievable, with a lot less hair. Dude, that was impressive. That was impressive. You were fucking way off. I was I don't know if it was Kevin screwing you up because you were like he would go. And then you're like.
Speaker 3:I was like I can't, I couldn't fire, I couldn't fire.
Speaker 1:Amazing, absolutely amazing. Couldn't fire, sorry, my life. Alright. Next song. Next song I like this, I like this. Okay, here you go, let's see what you can do with this one.
Speaker 7:Yeah, nigga, I'm still fucking with you. Still waters run deep, still Snoop Dogg and DRA, nah, nah, nigga, guess who's back?
Speaker 1:Still, doing one, d still smoked all the drn. Ah, this is shit, dude. Can you imagine doing a remix on a rap song with a fucking cowbell and a tambourine? No, no, that was awesome. Kevin was spot on, spot on with that. Wow.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man.
Speaker 1:You're doing very good, kev. Never had so many compliments no On a show before. You're feeling good about yourself tonight. Don't fuck it up, don't you fuck it up now? All right, let's see. Uh, I need something. Uh, stop that would now. Are you seriously trying to do that right?
Speaker 4:now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, woo, woo, yeah Woo.
Speaker 4:This is what I'm talking about, all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because Kevin and Maddie want to know if they're black or white. Fucking great dude.
Speaker 2:I've never seen him so happy.
Speaker 1:It's in unison. He's fantastic on the tambourine and you're just You're like fucking Mozart over. Fantastic on the tambourine and you're just you're like fucking Mozart over here on the cowbell. Yeah, let me change this into a fish real quick. It's amazing. That's Cy Young material. Just thinking about it on the run, that was fantastic.
Speaker 3:Hang it up to tambourine.
Speaker 1:No, that was a perfect song too, that was a good one, yes. You guys are always wondering if you're black or white did you pull something all right.
Speaker 2:How about that story about my, my daughter's friend just learn?
Speaker 1:oh my god, dude, there's no fucking way wait till you hear this.
Speaker 3:I don't know the story now very interested. Right, wait, okay, because first of all, when, when lily told us, did you see his face, how his eyes lit up when you said that?
Speaker 1:it's an amazing story so lily tells us this story, right, her roommate, her, this is since freshman year okay. So when she, after she, told me this story, I sat there for like a minute. I'm like there's no way that this person did not know, so so her roommate at 20 20 years old yeah thinks no well, she finally realized that Michael Jackson is black because of South Park.
Speaker 2:Like she learned, michael Jackson was black, she thought South Park the whole time that Michael Jackson was white because they were making like black references. And she asked Lily like why is this funny?
Speaker 1:I don't get it. What Stop no?
Speaker 3:How crazy is that this is a generation we're leaving the world to.
Speaker 2:But I did make a point like, well, maybe, like she just never saw him black, maybe she only knew the ghost of I mean black-er.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was trying to. Well, no, he started out black, oh yeah yeah, yeah, and that's what I was saying.
Speaker 1:How many people do you think are tying in the Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson?
Speaker 3:Nobody born after 87?.
Speaker 1:Or after 90, maybe Actually I would give it to the 2000. That might be. I think it might be pushing a little. That might be a little generous. Yeah, that's a little generous, okay. So if you're born to 1990, let's go there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, then you got to know.
Speaker 1:You got to know Michael Jackson. Jackson 5, little black kid, Tito Jermaine White, know. Yeah, you got to know Michael Jackson. Jackson 5, Little Black Kid Tito Jermaine White man, no Drugs.
Speaker 3:There's a child by the name of Blanket. What Didn't he name his kid, blanket? I don't know. Maybe I was watching South Park Drunk one night. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think one kid's. Where the hell did you pull that out of Paris Isn't his name?
Speaker 3:Paris, the daughter's Paris. I would have swore to kids that we got to look that up, we got to get a device here Michael Jackson's children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, children's names.
Speaker 2:Okay, blanket. Is it really a blanket?
Speaker 3:I hope to God. It is now.
Speaker 2:Sticky blanket.
Speaker 3:Oh hey, it's not towel-y, this is my favorite child Sticky bun.
Speaker 1:Michael Jackson's Kids Paris, prince, bg Jackson. B-i-g-i B-I-G-I.
Speaker 2:Biggie, biggie Jackson.
Speaker 3:Started with a, b. I think it started out as blanket and they changed it. It's B-I-G-I, b-g, maybe, maybe.
Speaker 1:Who fucking knows. I'll tell you what His daughter's pretty hot. She's 26.
Speaker 3:She is now. Yeah, let's check this out.
Speaker 2:How'd she be so white?
Speaker 3:The mother was Debbie Rowe, wasn't it? Wow, dude you know a lot about Michael Jackson.
Speaker 1:She looks like she's Persian.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right, she looks more Persian than me. I know Maybe she had some work done already Well, runs in the family. She looks more Persian, I know Maybe she had some work done already Well, runs in the family. She's probably born with work. Let's give her some work. Came out plastic, let's give you some work. Some wet work. Someone's pent up.
Speaker 1:Just a little bit. Just don't turn your back on me.
Speaker 3:Do you ever see Kevin sleeping on the couch you think about maybe for a minute?
Speaker 2:No, he's pretty drunk, he won't he did drink a lot of that bourbon.
Speaker 3:He won't even know. One quick lazing, no one will even know.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna touch his nose with it. Shut the fuck up, dude.
Speaker 4:I'm just going to touch his nose with it. Shut the fuck up, dude. Yeah, you like that?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you like that, kevin. There it is. It's like from this is the End. Yep, I'm just going to touch your lips real quick.
Speaker 4:It's like from this is the end. Yep, I'm just going to touch your lips real quick. Yeah, you're too much. Bourbon, bitch, rum and war helmet.
Speaker 3:This will teach you Flop. We're like ping Ping.
Speaker 5:Oh God, that God's voice always comes in handy. It's phenomenal, oh god.
Speaker 1:That god's voice always comes in handy. It's phenomenal. Gotta love it. So what are we looking forward to on Father's Day?
Speaker 3:Is anyone doing?
Speaker 1:anything, I'm going to Oscars and Somers Shout out to Oscars. Really good Italian food.
Speaker 3:Going with the fam.
Speaker 1:Not the whole fam. Tommy and Ant are going to be down in Jersey for a lax tourney. So it's just me, ryan, nancy, trev, jack Haley, my mom and dad, nice, maybe Darlene, I don't know. Nice, great food dude Fucking meatballs like this. You know what I'm talking about. I do you know what I'm talking about? I do you know what I'm talking about? You doing anything? You want to go swimming in the Italian food?
Speaker 3:What am I doing? Let's see, I get to drive to Saugerties to watch my daughter's softball team get rocked and mercy ruled in two innings. Then I get to drive an hour and a half back home, where I'll be expected to cook my own dinner on the barbecue.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, yeah, that does not sound like a good father's day.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and I have to run. Why don't you just like? And I have to run to Home Depot and get a pallet of flooring. Why don't you stick something in the smoker and then it's done when you get home? Because, Kevin, that would entail me knowing how to work the smoker and actually buying something to put in the smoker. You don't have pellets. I have pellets.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're talking meat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got to buy meat and I got to figure out how to work the fucking thing, because I haven't had fucking three. Actually, I don't even know where the book is.
Speaker 2:It's probably still like taped no, no, tied to it.
Speaker 3:Have you used it yet? No, I actually brought it inside because I wanted to read it, yeah, and then my house just went into fucking. So then all you got to do is search it online.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can do it via fucking manual.
Speaker 3:Dude it can't be that hard. Have you used the smoker yet? No, I have not.
Speaker 2:I just put it together a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1:It's nice too, is it? Yeah, better than yours? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 3:See mine's electric. I'm curious to see how that's all going to work Well it gets to rotate on the track.
Speaker 1:No, no, it doesn't have a rotating track, or?
Speaker 3:anything. It does not have a rotisserie on it.
Speaker 2:I think he spent like 20 grand on the smoker. Do they get that expensive with that? The one you got was probably $1,500, somewhere around there, right yeah?
Speaker 1:Like they're third and there's no there's no rotisserie now.
Speaker 3:You pay extra for that pet.
Speaker 1:How much extra for a?
Speaker 3:rotisserie.
Speaker 2:Well, it depends. You know, I would pay a lot.
Speaker 1:I would take like 10 grand from are you fucking kidding me For one of?
Speaker 2:those for like a that would have a rotating. Yeah, you can't do.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, you guys are idiots.
Speaker 3:Truth be told, I didn't buy it and I asked my wife why'd you spend that much money on this fucking thing? I want one.
Speaker 2:I want one. It's fun tending to it. You can use mine whenever you want. It's fun sitting out there and just listening to whatever and tending to it. You can use mine whenever you want. You know like it's fun sitting out there and just like listening to whatever and tending to it, and you know you can walk away for an hour or two and you know, come back check on it.
Speaker 3:But you know I'd love the whole fucking ease of one of them tragers. I'm I'm looking forward to to getting in it. I just like I said, I just have not had the time. I don't even have a fucking prep area right now.
Speaker 2:That's so true, man you got nothing, you got a nice bathroom.
Speaker 3:I do.
Speaker 2:And an office.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, they still haven't finished the kitchen.
Speaker 3:No, they just. They just got all the sheetrock up and it started Started Spackling. Who you?
Speaker 1:got doing the job. Who's working on this? Roar Construction who Roar who? You got doing the job. Who's working on this?
Speaker 3:Roar Construction who Roar R-O-A-R. Roar Like a bear, like a bear roar Roar, yeah, out of, out of Orange County Middle town, like that. That's it. Right there, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's a great commercial. Yes, come to Roar Construction.
Speaker 3:I would tell you this fucking guy is awesome, fucking awesome.
Speaker 1:Good price on everything.
Speaker 3:Solid price on everything Fucking fair, timely. The amount of fucking work they've done on the house is ridiculous. Very clean American Nope, not nowadays. Amount of work they've done this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Very clean American Nope, nope.
Speaker 1:Not nowadays. How many Mexicans on the job? Three or four. I worked with two. They were fucking fantastic.
Speaker 3:I will tell you these guys are fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:Did you see the Home Depot thing? I did, yeah, did you see the Home?
Speaker 3:Depot thing. I did see that.
Speaker 2:Did you see the?
Speaker 1:Home Depot thing I did, but I didn't watch the whole thing.
Speaker 2:Do you want me to play it Speaking of Mexicans?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah go ahead, yeah right ahead. Since we're talking about it, great segue here.
Speaker 1:Okay, so explain.
Speaker 2:Well it explains Okay, you ready, so explain Well it explains Okay, you ready Self-advocatory?
Speaker 1:All right, tiktok, swole science.
Speaker 2:That one Yep Fights at.
Speaker 5:Home Depot. So if you haven't heard, there's fights breaking out in the Home Depot parking lot and if you want to know why, basically, the Venezuelans are there camping out to take the jobs for 11 bucks an hour and the Mexicans are also camping out there to take them at 20. And they're pissed that the Venezuelans are willing to do their work for cheaper. So now they're getting into fights at all the Home Depots across America. And if that's not funny to you, you have no sense of humor, as messed up as it is, I mean that, the irony in that is pretty funny so isn't that great.
Speaker 1:So the fucking venezuelans and the mexicans are going at it like the sharks and the jets, pretty much because of how much they're getting paid the same job for half the price that sounds familiar, right, how's it feel Mexicans?
Speaker 3:It's not so funny now is it.
Speaker 1:Touche, touche, my friend. That's fucking a little ironic, certainly is Come on man. Is that even real?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I brought Don back his power washer today and he wasn't home. I was gonna ask him because he's a he's a home depot management guy.
Speaker 3:You know, um, he would know, but he wasn't home next time you talk to him, tell him to call me. We got to start.
Speaker 2:Uh, talk about a garage door oh, okay, he doesn't need to call you. Okay, you got a, got a guy.
Speaker 3:Well, I do, but I thought you said we got to. Yeah All right, yeah All right.
Speaker 4:We'll let him know.
Speaker 3:Maybe one day, when you're shooting home at like one o'clock in the afternoon, swing by the house and you know we'll take care of things.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You okay over there bud. Do you need your garage floor finished? No, yeah, you do. I don't. Totally do, definitely not give you a nice, beautiful color discount too I will tell you not for nothing.
Speaker 3:Perhaps, when all this is done, maybe the floor in the uh in the other room area I like where the bathroom is.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah non-slip surface might not be a bad idea yeah they're all slippery man they are, We'll pretend they're not.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, yeah, I've been on way too many of those things.
Speaker 3:When my father slips and falls down, I'm very fucked up.
Speaker 2:That's on you, sorry, that's on you. You know how much you get for slipping, falling in a cell.
Speaker 1:Hi, oh, you got $700? My back.
Speaker 3:My neck and my back $750.
Speaker 1:You sleep on four Super sleep.
Speaker 3:I'll settle out of court right now for $100.
Speaker 1:I'll go for $125. A dollar and some envelopes. Anything exciting going on.
Speaker 2:He got all his fucking Caitlin Clark nonsense, which I find hilarious.
Speaker 3:Oh my.
Speaker 1:God, it's gotten, you know it's so stupid.
Speaker 2:Her plight, oh her poor plight. And he's in the WNBA.
Speaker 1:No, it's the whole Olympic crap. It's putting more fucking money into the WNBA.
Speaker 3:That's all I know, I think that's why they're all fucking playing it up so hard.
Speaker 2:I just can't believe he's getting so much press. Who fucking cares?
Speaker 3:In all honesty, it's because she's white. That's why.
Speaker 1:And she's getting beat up by a bunch of black chicks. Suck it up, that's all I gotta say. Suck it up, that's all I gotta say. Suck it up, you're in the fucking WNBA.
Speaker 2:She does suck it up, she's actually handling it pretty good.
Speaker 3:I've seen some of those fouls and I'm okay with them.
Speaker 1:As long as she gets right back up, shoots those foul shots, clutch moments, that's it. I love the fact that she's like Just quiet. She don't say shit about it. What's she gonna say? She just lets her game fucking. Talk to Talk to. You know, talk to talk.
Speaker 3:I think it's a little fucking crazy that she's good, she fucking finished her College season and like three days later she's in the WNBA.
Speaker 1:And they're all probably all pissed off Because of the fucking the deal that she Got for sneaker deal and they're like why the fuck does this chick get in Weekend? Probably because you kicked off A few fucking teams y'all suck. You guys miss the playoffs, you miss the fucking and this chick is hitting 30 foot fucking dimes yeah, and she's making three pointers out her ass. Still women's basketball.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, they say Diana Taurasi was the best player in the WNBA history. Right Also white.
Speaker 2:Yes, ben so it can't be a white thing.
Speaker 3:Her stats are on par with hers. So is the hype real? Maybe, maybe a little bit. Yeah, do it for more than one season. She will.
Speaker 1:She will. She did her whole fucking career in Iowa, so what's that, Pat?
Speaker 3:Go fuck yourself. I'm just saying I'll be.
Speaker 2:FBI, you got a poster.
Speaker 3:No, a peckle, fuck yourself. I'm just saying like she's. Yeah, you got a poster right above my bunk bed, do you agree? Do you agree with uh antonio brown, that she?
Speaker 1:probably keeps it hairy down there. Oh, do you see? Do you see that nonsense?
Speaker 3:no, please, fucking antonio brown starts ripping on this fucking poor broad. Really, yeah, she looks like she keeps it hairy down there and shit like that. So she blocks him on fucking Twitter. So he comes back, he calls her cracker of the year and just keeps fucking poking jabs at her.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's really no reason for that, though. Well, his.
Speaker 3:CTE shows from time to time. He's Antonio Brown. I love it when he opens his mouth. It's the worst there's really no reason for that though. Well, you see his cte shows from antonio brad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's fucking crazy. I love it when he opens his mouth. It's the worst, it's terrible.
Speaker 1:I don't even know, like uh yeah, it's, it's what it is. Fucking nba sucks right now because nicks are out and I wish uh luca can beat the Celtics.
Speaker 3:But when they beat the piss out of them last night. Yeah, now it's 3-1 though yeah, I know the Celtics are going to come back and close this shit.
Speaker 1:Imagine the fucking.
Speaker 2:NBA was probably like listen, we got to make this series last.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah. So we're going to need you, Jason. We're going to need you to lose three in a row.
Speaker 2:How about the coach, the Celtic coach, what you haven't seen that stuff, when he's getting interviewed and stuff, something about blackhead coaches in the finals or something to do with that, and they're like well, how do you feel about that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or do you not? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's just like how many of those coaches were christians, you know, because he's a big like christian god, fucking dude. Um, he just relates it. Yeah, I'll find it.
Speaker 1:I'll find it, I'll send it to you I still don't understand what he's talking about um. Was it a black coach?
Speaker 2:is the celtics coach is a black coach, okay, but they're trying to like, make their, you know, make it all racy.
Speaker 1:Because he's a black coach in the finals.
Speaker 6:Since 1975,. This is the NBA finals where you have two black head coaches. Given the plight sometimes of black head coaches in the NBA, do you think this is a significant moment? Do you take pride in this? Do you view this or do you not see it at all? I wonder how many of those have ever been Christian coaches.
Speaker 3:Casey Jones was a black coach of the Celtics winning championships in the 80s. I don't recall anyone asking him that question.
Speaker 1:And then there's why was there an awkward silence?
Speaker 6:What you are or what you believe in. Life is a way in which the lens you look at it, in the way the lens you look at yourself, and we have the choice to make to how we look at ourselves. We also have the choice to make to decide whether we're going to care about how people view us or how they don't, and there's multiple lenses that each person can look at. I am half African-American half.
Speaker 6:Italian, and so, but most importantly, the decision that I made in my life, I've decided to look through either one of those and I've decided to look at my lens through that of which is Christianity, and so my identity is in him first, and that comes before anything else, and that's just been important to me, because what he's done for me in my life, the people that I have around me that have brought me there, and it's important for my wife and it's important for my family, it doesn't mean that it's any more than any other lens to which we can look at.
Speaker 6:Uh, but for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and we're going to look at the lens of life through that of Christianity and and everything that comes with it that was like an interview he gave after that press conference where he was like I wonder how many of those coaches were Christian, you know.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so, but who cares?
Speaker 4:Right, exactly.
Speaker 2:You know like why is this even a thing?
Speaker 1:But it's a thing, cause that's the way the fucking media is now. That's the problem. There's like whatever, you know, whatever place there is in each story, like they'll, they'll pull from that and that's this. You know what I mean? Try to make everything is so pop yeah they try to make it about race.
Speaker 2:You know it's always try to it's going to be about race.
Speaker 1:It's going to be about gender. It's going to be about religion. It's going to be about this, it's going to be about that. In order for people to choose sides. That's what every fucking story that comes out in the news now Divide and conquer. That's all it is. I hate the news. Don't watch it anymore. No.
Speaker 2:I haven't watched the news. No, I'll see interesting shit on that, and I'll just research it myself.
Speaker 3:So do you guys think Hunter's going to do jail time? No, I hope so. No, there's, no way, no, there's no way.
Speaker 1:No, there's no way, bro. He was banging.
Speaker 2:Asian Well Biden's. I guess he's said in the past that he won't pardon him.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, he's, you're right, he said that and he said he won't interfere, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, horseshit.
Speaker 1:But that's before they're taking his son to federal ass-pounding prison. What if Trump is like I'll pardon him For his Ukraine connections, as long as you get out of the fucking, out of the office.
Speaker 3:As Trump's saying that he's on his way to federal pounder in the ass prison. Oh, he's not going to prison. No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Do you think it's getting overturned? Yeah, I do why.
Speaker 3:It's a shit show.
Speaker 2:It's a witch hunt Not to throw out these fucking Trumper terms, but it's a fucking witch hunt. You know they're just trying. They're throwing darts. It's like the impeachments. Yeah, you know they're just trying. You know they only got a few shots left, so we're gonna try this one. You know?
Speaker 1:do you think it created the snowball effect of who's gonna vote for him now? Oh, it definitely backfires us on did you see that interview with 50 Cent?
Speaker 2:Oh, with the black people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're like why are they going to vote for Trump? He's got Rico now. Yeah, he says it. I was like we can relate. Good point, we can relate. Yeah, dude, and you're seeing it Bro all these fucking rappers now Are just backing Trump, like all these big names.
Speaker 3:The nonsense. The nonsense is going on in this fucking world.
Speaker 2:Oh dude, it's only gonna fucking gear up From here on.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be like the movie Civil War. I'm telling you, right now there's some crazy shit, something it it's going to be like the movie Civil War.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you right now there's some crazy shit, something Five months left before the election.
Speaker 1:Something insane is going to happen. Yes, I guarantee it?
Speaker 2:Oh, like them curtailing the water in Idaho. What For the farmers? They've shut their water irrigation off.
Speaker 4:Are you kidding me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh so there's going to be a potato shortage. Now we're going to have a potato famine.
Speaker 2:Well, there's more than potatoes out there. But Tell me Yellowstone, well, I don't know, there's more than potatoes out there. But I mean, you think about all the fucking record snowfalls. Tell me Grizzly Jack, you know all the rain, all the record snowfalls. There's snow falls.
Speaker 1:there's no reason to shut the water off, there's tons of water out there, you know, but they've they've shut it off, is this?
Speaker 3:just to control the farmers.
Speaker 2:Well, if you control the farmers.
Speaker 3:What else?
Speaker 2:you control everything it's the food supply right, because that's you also got the fucking um. You have the bird flu going around in chickens, so they had it like off like 190 million chickens or something. Yeah, and you know how they're using the. They're using a PCR test to test the birds for bird flu. You know, you know that very reliable.
Speaker 1:You're talking about the PCR test they took for COVID. Yeah, the same shit. So everybody's going to have the bird flu. Same type of test, not, everybody's going to have the bird flu.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2:The food supply is getting attacked, and very quietly. A lot of people don't realize this. Think of all the fucking-.
Speaker 3:You mean the mainstream media is not talking about this.
Speaker 2:Think of all the fucking places that burned down over the past couple of years. Yeah, okay, there was another mass fucking chicken killing in Connecticut like a year or two ago, like one of the was that?
Speaker 3:was it a chicken killing or was it chicken choking?
Speaker 2:No, it was, it was did it take place at the Thunderson's. No, like uh only in.
Speaker 1:Pat's room.
Speaker 2:I think one of them burned down or something like there was something from friction there was some disaster that little spark comes off, but yeah, like a flint they're. They're attacking the food supply, man, and you got china buying up all the fucking farmland too see so there's another wrinkle. If you want to go fucking conspiracy on it, you know, know.
Speaker 1:Well, my thing, like it's I. What I don't get is people. People will hear this like going on and they won't believe it, just because you're not seeing it on the news. Right, right.
Speaker 3:Until they go to a supermarket. And it's $79 for fucking four chicken breasts.
Speaker 1:I'm looking for Tang. I just want Tang in my picture Some oval. I got to pay $22 for Tang. I just want Tang in my pitcher Some oval.
Speaker 3:I got to pay $22 for Tang, Like, come on what there's chickens and Tang Bro.
Speaker 1:It is so food is so fucking expensive. Don't even get me started. Dude, cold cuts, cold cuts. You better. I'm telling you right now, when you buy cold cuts, you might as well buy the best bread that's out there and have yourself a fucking sandwich because of what you're paying for it.
Speaker 2:It's $3 and something for a bottle of soda for great fakes.
Speaker 1:For a little one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for a little guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know you can't anymore. I'm like I'm gonna get that, I'm gonna get that provolone. Yeah, you know what? Can I get a quarter pound Of provolone? Can I get three slices? No, let, how much is that no tomato.
Speaker 2:No, let no seriously.
Speaker 3:We were talking about this, adele, you fucking said You're not gonna fucking yeah can I get an everything bagel?
Speaker 1:You can't order a wedge, but Can I get an everything bagel. But can you wipe all?
Speaker 3:the everything off. They stopped serving wedges because it was fucking too expensive. Yeah, 5-2 Red Sox. Who did 5-2 Red Sox win Right now?
Speaker 1:Who got rid of the wedges? What are you talking about, froggies? Oh, they were talking about doing it, so it's just Is today the 12th. No, today is the 14th, 15th, 15th June, 15th, why?
Speaker 3:I forget which day Ben was going to the game, which could be why he's not. He's not Watching the show, very true.
Speaker 1:Maybe he just doesn't like us anymore.
Speaker 3:Nah, he still loves us you think so, yeah, I do, I do. Okay, we ever gonna have him back on. No, he just doesn't like us anymore. No, he still loves us. You think so?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do I do Okay, we ever going to have him back on. No, no, I don't think he's going to cross the line again, I, hope a trooper takes him out if he crosses the state line.
Speaker 3:It just comes down to a very simple thing when you introduce non-carmel people To drinking Into a caramel thing.
Speaker 2:Hey, when you meet your idols, sometimes you lose grip.
Speaker 3:We've seen it time and time again.
Speaker 1:We know what it's like when you guys see stars and when we're in your presence. We understand that.
Speaker 3:And not just the pasty stars on.
Speaker 1:Patrick, right on my ball, sack, alright. And that, and not just the pasty stars on Patrick, yeah, right on my ball, sack, alright.
Speaker 3:And Ball sacks aren't big enough for stars, what?
Speaker 1:My balls aren't. I thought they are, they are, they are so full.
Speaker 3:You could kill that orbs they are so full, full to unleash.
Speaker 1:Don't ever say that when I'm talking about saying I so full, full to unleash. Don't ever say that when I'm talking about saying I'm full, you want to help him out.
Speaker 2:No, I don't.
Speaker 1:I just want to taste, just a quick release. I don't Get your tarps like Gallagher, let's go.
Speaker 2:What the fuck are we talking about here? Get your tarps like Gallagher, let's go. Oh God, what the fuck are we talking about here?
Speaker 3:Pat's talking about hitting watermelons with a sledgehammer or jerking off on you.
Speaker 4:Either way. All right.
Speaker 1:So what else, Kev? What do you got going?
Speaker 3:on Fancy football's right around the corner.
Speaker 1:Fuck that yeah right, I think I'm out this year.
Speaker 2:I think we're under 100 days Right.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, I think I'm.
Speaker 2:Are magazines on the shelves.
Speaker 3:Nah, I looked at a supermarket the other day, did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I think I'm calling it quits this year. Why Just it's too much man. I love fantasy football, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2:But it's, you know, it's too much fucking fantasy baseball, that stupid fucking league Hence it's.
Speaker 1:Hence the app is deleted off my phone like it's. How am I doing, by the way, can we check my? Yeah, yeah, sure, and see, see my record. Check that real quick, not even touching it. What place my and I gotta be in like seventh nice.
Speaker 2:I haven't touched mine either since the attempted trade.
Speaker 3:I heard about that you haven't touched yours since you got married. Me too.
Speaker 4:Touch it all the time since I got married.
Speaker 2:Get your fucking facts straight. Nice, I'm winning 15 to 7 at the moment and for the season, what's your team name?
Speaker 1:99 problems and the bitch ain't one in the picture you are ranked 11th.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's almost to last. You are 56 and a half games out. Yeah, it's terrible, but you're solid there, because 12th is 83 and a half games out. Oh my God, who's 12th? Jc's, oh, jc's team. It's not too impressive, impressively bad.
Speaker 3:Much like baseball.
Speaker 2:He probably pays no attention to this, either I'm in the top 10.
Speaker 1:Out of 12. What's Matty's?
Speaker 2:What are you? Joe Boo needs a refill. Oh, Matty's 5th. He is 8 and a half games out.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'm fucking close with 56 and a half.
Speaker 2:I am 27 and a half games out.
Speaker 1:I need a terrible four weeks in a row from everybody.
Speaker 3:You need to go like 20 and one.
Speaker 1:It's the worst league ever.
Speaker 2:It's just so dumb I don't like it. Like I had an issue with a guy on the IL or the DL the disabled list so I'm bringing back the disabled list for you fucking tree-hugging, fucking, whatevers. Yes, change the name because it fucking sounds bad. Remember that shit when they changed it from the disabled list to the injured list. Yeah, baggot retard disabled list, Like you know, taking guys on and off the DL, Like it was just hard, Like it should have been so much easier.
Speaker 1:What are you doing over there, man? Just putting together faggot and retard over here.
Speaker 3:We're bringing these words back. We're bringing these back. I have no problem with that.
Speaker 1:That's fucking awesome. But you think about it. Yeah, it's probably faggots and retards. Alright, I agree with you 110%. But yeah, the fucking league is so dumb.
Speaker 2:It's not even for money, which pisses me off Like.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's.
Speaker 1:What are we? Six I realize. I realize that we. You know what six I I realized, I realized a week. You know what I mean. I'm playing for fucking soda caps.
Speaker 3:As I'm watching the ad drops, I'm like who are these people? I don't know any of these players at all, oh, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't follow baseball like that. No, you know that's. That's a different animal, bro.
Speaker 2:Fuck that shit yeah, it's for fucking people that larp, you know, play dungeons and dragons and shit and fucking nerds, you know, nerds, nerds, nerds. You heard LARP and you just started laughing.
Speaker 1:The second you say LARPing is it's the craziest word. If you think about it, then you're like what is LARPing? Then you're like yeah, I see why it's LARPing Live action, role play, the fact that it's an acronym, right, and it's a word and an acronym, that's crazy LARPing.
Speaker 3:You LARP Didn't even know what it was until three minutes ago. Are you serious? You never saw what movie was that?
Speaker 1:What is it?
Speaker 3:Oh, I know which one you're talking about With.
Speaker 1:Paul Rudd and what's his name?
Speaker 2:McLovin.
Speaker 3:What's his name?
Speaker 1:Stifler's in it Stifler's in it.
Speaker 3:Role models. Yeah, I couldn't get through that whole movie. That's a good movie.
Speaker 2:I tried a couple times.
Speaker 3:It's not a turn off, for sure, couldn't do it, the whole LARPing thing.
Speaker 2:You know it's a good watch. Have you seen that Las Vegas shooter documentary? Oh, my god, dude, it's called 11 Minutes. I told Pat about it, I knew about it when it happened and you heard it on the news and stuff, but I never really listened to what happened, like all the fucking carrying on about. You know, they dragged that. I mean all due respects to the people, don't mean this like that, but they drag that shit out on the news as long as they can. Yeah, you know. So I just tune it out and like this documentary was like holy shit, man. It's like four, five episodes, four episodes, really Four episodes. It's called About an hour piece. It's like video of concert goers.
Speaker 3:It's actually something if you watch it. You got to pay attention to it's video.
Speaker 1:It's live video of it happening.
Speaker 2:It's like police body cam.
Speaker 1:Yeah, crazy shit. And you're seeing people get hit, you're seeing asphalt Like the body cams of the guys. You do not. Your mouth will drop when you realize the amount this armory, this motherfucker, had and how many bullets he went through. Not only how many bullets, how many weapons, it's a good watch. Well, he had a whole room full of weapons, right, it's not even just having a room full of weapons is how these weapons were set up really like he was ready to go, like bipods.
Speaker 1:Bipods strategically set in each part of the room. Because of where his room was. He had, like this, different angles view of everything so and he had one window that fucking just was literally you were. There was no safe place. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's. It's crazy, man, crazy shit it's crazy. But, that won't say anything else. It's a good one. Yeah, so that shit out 11 minutes. It said it wasn't on prime Prime.
Speaker 1:That that made my jaw motherfucking drop watching that dude.
Speaker 3:I'm watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine right now.
Speaker 1:That's a funny show.
Speaker 3:I enjoy that show?
Speaker 1:What's that movie I just watched with the dude who plays Superman and oh, the League of. It's a? Oh, it's Shit Somewhere. It's the dude who plays Reacher on Prime. And like Henry Cavill, Alan Richman, the dude who plays Superman Cavill. Yeah, okay, and they're like Nazi hunters.
Speaker 2:Is it on Netflix?
Speaker 1:Oh, I heard about this. Who's Madonna's?
Speaker 2:old husband. Something distinguished, guy Ritchie. Something distinguished, guy Ritchie.
Speaker 1:It's a Guy Ritchie film. I'm not even joking. This is one of the best movies I've seen in years. Really, really fucking good. What a fucking role. What's his name? Plays the dude who plays Superman? He's just this crazy. They're all psychotic motherfuckers. Henry Cavill, yeah.
Speaker 3:They're talking about him as the next James Bond, perhaps.
Speaker 2:He'd be a great James Bond. Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 1:He's a good actor, but this fucking movie is fantastic, dude, it's gory. It's there and I didn't realize it's a true fucking story.
Speaker 2:Dude, did you watch the Witcher? He's in the Witcher too. Man, that's a good show.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize that's a true story. Superman no.
Speaker 3:And I think we're nearing the end of the podcast.
Speaker 1:No, you asshole that movie that Guy Ritchie made. That's based on a real thing happening.
Speaker 2:The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Watch it. That's why it makes sense. That's a Guy Ritchie. It's a little fucking little fucking worky Kev. You watched it, it's good.
Speaker 1:It's really good it's really good.
Speaker 2:It starts off with Superman's in jail and they let him out of jail to go do stuff.
Speaker 3:How can a jail cell hold Superman? Was it made of kryptonite?
Speaker 1:What's crazy is it's based on a true story and it was five guys who started it. And how they attacked these five dudes? Just attacked the Germans at certain points. Did you see the?
Speaker 3:TikTok video where the guy asked his girlfriend if she wanted five guys and she got all bent out of shape saying I don't know if I can handle that. And then she came back with well, I have, I have some people in mind. If you're serious, their numbers are on my phone. He's like talking about fucking cheeseburgers, jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Sorry, that had to be fake, though, right.
Speaker 3:You know what? If it was, she acted well. That's awesome, it was funny.
Speaker 2:It made me laugh. That's a good one.
Speaker 1:I got a couple of cocks. I mean numbers on my phone. Yeah, yeah, I could see that happening.
Speaker 3:I still can't understand why that would be the first thing that pops in your head when somebody wants to go for five guys. Really, really.
Speaker 1:Let me think Really. Let me think about that One, two, three, four, five. Okay, we can do it.
Speaker 3:Mouth and ear. Okay, we can do it Mouth and ear Okay we're in, are you? How long have we been going? 17 minutes, or three days, hour and seven Six minutes.
Speaker 1:Six minutes we've been gone. Come on, what else you want to talk about?
Speaker 2:I don't know what you got.
Speaker 3:You got anything what really grinds your gears right now, patrick?
Speaker 1:this fucking country.
Speaker 3:Just how, how fucked up it is you know just how fucking stupid people it's, that it's, it's the.
Speaker 1:You know Just how fucking stupid people are. It's that, it's the you know, everybody against everybody else. There's no unity, there's no. There's so much divide, the bullshit that spewed out just for the hate and creating fucking issues. Peace, love, man, dude, that's what I'm talking about. Man. Like it's so easy. It really is, though, though. If you think about it, it's so fucking easy. It's just open your Fucking eyes and believe what you want to believe.
Speaker 3:That's it, and it's what everyone's doing which is causing half the problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's the thing, but you still have the people are just like we're trying to silence that. There's nothing to see here. You know they're the fucking cop from South Park.
Speaker 3:Did you see the fucking thing I sent you with the devil in the boardroom?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, dude, play that motherfucker. That shit was funny. This is, oh my God Shit. Did you yeah? Where did you send that?
Speaker 3:I sent it to you and Kevin in text.
Speaker 1:All right, I got to find that, though I don't know, oh was it. How recent was it?
Speaker 3:Uh, yesterday, this morning something like that oh, is this it. Barry out.
Speaker 8:Thank you all for meeting with me. You're all doing some wonderful work destroying the world, but I think it's probably time for us to reevaluate.
Speaker 4:Sorry for the interruption, but I think we're in the wrong meeting. We're not here to destroy the world, we're here to save it. You see, we are some of the leading leaders of liberal causes and I'm with the Human Rights Campaign causes and I'm with the human rights campaign, who focus on lgbtq plus and trans rights. You see, I have an eagle sign to let you know that I'm a good person. Oh, excuse me. Women's reproductive rights climate free palestine open.
Speaker 8:I misspoke before. You guys are not destroying the world, okay, you are saving the world. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up with those scare quotes? Pretty sure I didn't use scare quotes when I said saving the world. The important thing to keep in mind is that there's a big election coming up and we're all on the same page, okay. So if we want Biden to win, he needs to win in order for us to save the world. If we want biden to win, you folks how can I say this? You, you, you might need to tone it down, just what that was a good question um, you're, uh, you're women's reproductive rights, right?
Speaker 8:okay, excellent branding, by the way, I see's a much easier on the ears than baby murder. So, yes, you on that one, but opposing any restrictions all the way through to the ninth month. I mean, you see how you're kind of tipping your hand right Makes people think, wait, maybe they actually want to kill babies and we do, obviously, no, we don't. Oh no, we don't, right, we don't. But you see, you see how it can kind of look that way. So that's, I mean, that's all I'm saying. You know, let's tone it down. And you, immigration? Clearly, we don't want a completely open border that undermines any sense of national sovereignty, driving down wages for the working class and overtaxing the welfare state. So let's go a bit easy there too. Why not something like this? Why not something like diversity is our? Are you trying to say diversity is our strength? Yes, how do you say that without laughing? Oh my gosh, I can't even get through it. This is, besides, my goodness.
Speaker 8:Okay, what about you? Pro-palestine you are? I'm going to say this You're kind of coming across like you just want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. We do want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. Of course, yes, yes, and that's awesome. I'm all for that, I love that, but you need to pretend like you don't want to wipe israel off the map and kill all the jews. Why, excuse me? I mean, we're pretty clear in our position and most young people and everyone on college campuses, and half the Democratic Party, of course, still support us. Yeah, it's cool. Now you may have a point there. You might be the only person in here that can be as evil as you want to be and get away with it. Still, let's think about tactics, okay, do you think that occupying bridges and blocking traffic is somehow winning people over to your cause?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and making people hate us by blocking traffic is our thing. He's stealing our thing.
Speaker 4:You're not stealing your thing, you must die, we will kill you all.
Speaker 8:See, this is what I'm talking about. I mean, okay, I love the homicidal thing that you got going on there. I really dig it okay, but maybe market it just a little bit differently, like the serial killer that everyone thinks is such a sweet guy. You know he's got 27 bodies in the basement but he's, like you know, coaching Little League. That's what I want. Be that guy. Back to America.
Speaker 4:You know, the funny thing is, you don't even look, dude, that is so funny.
Speaker 3:Be that guy. I think. I was watching that like 5 o'clock this morning and I'm chuckling my ass. I was like what's the matter with you? I'm like shut up, it's so true, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Alright, what do you think?
Speaker 3:I think we should finish this bottle of bourbon and call it a day.
Speaker 1:What's that mean?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Do you want to play the?
Speaker 3:Do you have something else you want to talk about? Do you want?
Speaker 2:to play the Wile E Coyote oh.
Speaker 3:You could kill that. That was such a good one too. That was a good one.
Speaker 1:When I saw it I was like what the fuck is this big rock in the middle of the road?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're not going to see it right.
Speaker 7:George Orwell once said every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it. Boomers will see this rock in the road and think, okay, let's figure out how to get it moved. Millennials and Gen Z will see the rock and cry about the inconvenience that it has caused them, then wonder if the rock identifies as a rock or is it actually a tree? Gen X, however, will see this rock and say I'll bet a hundred bucks there is a coyote under there bro, that is, it's exactly what I would like.
Speaker 1:Just, I'm not even joking. Like when I saw the rock, I'm like, instantly I was like why are they coyote? Like instantly, yep, when you see shit like that, a rock in the road or an anvil.
Speaker 3:Was there anything?
Speaker 1:That or rocket fucking Acme. Rocket on roller skates.
Speaker 2:Have they found anything racist with the fucking roadrunner or anything? Like that Is that an okay cartoon to still like it's too violent.
Speaker 1:Fucking violent. It was Fucking dicks. Call of.
Speaker 2:Duty.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, bugs Bunny. And who's Sam? What the fuck? Elmer Fudd, elmer Fudd. And who's the cowboy with the six guns?
Speaker 2:Yosemite Sam.
Speaker 6:Right.
Speaker 3:That shit's too violent. But hey six-year-old, go play Call of Duty and motherfuck some adult. I, hey six-year-old, go play Call of Duty and motherfuck some adult. You got Foghorn Leghorn. I'll say it. I'll say it, hey boy.
Speaker 1:Right, I totally forgot. I could do you Somebody say him that was Foghorn Leghorn. Whatever, you're not a dog, hey, I'll say it.
Speaker 3:It's a mix between Harry Cary and.
Speaker 2:Foghorn, her little jizz paw in there too. I think he's drunk, no.
Speaker 3:I'm not, I'll say it. I said hey boy, hey boy, oh god Do we do a show next week hey boy, hi, hi, oh God.
Speaker 1:Do we do a show next week? Yeah, why not? Well, we got to get a hold of.
Speaker 2:Joe Well.
Speaker 3:I would assume we're doing a show next week, Regardless if we you know. Yeah well, I'm not aware of anything that would preclude us from doing a show. It's not Mother's Day, it's not. I'm not away at a convention.
Speaker 2:Very good you got to check your softball schedule. I'm sure I'm fucking watching softball somewhere. Dude, the places you've been naming that these places are at.
Speaker 3:Oh, dude, there's weekend trips with hotels.
Speaker 2:So far we've gone from what Long Island to Saugerties. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:There's one in Pennsylvania, there's a couple in New Jersey and they're going to play nationals in Delaware.
Speaker 1:Nationals for what?
Speaker 2:They're going to get ripped, so do you have to be good to play?
Speaker 3:nationals. I think you just have to pay money to get in the tournament and the other teams ask fuck you and send you home. Okay, we're here to throttle you.
Speaker 2:There's no qualifying.
Speaker 3:No, you have to be so good, it's all a fucking money grab and it's like, oh, you want to pay? Sure, come on in.
Speaker 2:These 16 nationally ranked teams are going to fucking beat you to death inside of five minutes and then you can leave my buddy lacy down in a south carolina told me that there's like travel soccer, that they, they go to fucking texas. Yeah, yep, I gotta.
Speaker 3:I was like what you know? Like I got a buddy whose daughter is so good is getting recruited to different teams that he may actually have to move to go where this team is located for his daughter to play there. Well, that's cool.
Speaker 2:Well, you got a kid like that. You move, you know, I guess yeah, why not? Dude could?
Speaker 3:be a fucking, it's fucking soccer. How much are you going to make?
Speaker 1:I don't know man $7.
Speaker 2:It's. It's more like endorsements, I would think, you know, not like.
Speaker 1:You're talking about.
Speaker 2:NIL Dude. It's a growing sport, man, by that time. You never know.
Speaker 3:Listen again, it certainly is, and I actually yeah, you've played. Well, not only have I played, but I enjoy watching the US national team.
Speaker 1:It's the original play-by-play over here. What did I say? It's the original Pele. I mean, come on.
Speaker 2:So anyway, I was saying, pele was a lot taller and darker, a little darker too.
Speaker 3:He could actually jump in the air and kick the ball, but I can't get my feet off the ground.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about you on the chair, anyways.
Speaker 2:They're supposed to be building like some big fucking Complex down by, like Shea Stadium or whatever they call that fucking place now.
Speaker 3:Shea Field Complex for what Sports like soccer fields.
Speaker 1:What's the name of their fucking?
Speaker 6:stadium.
Speaker 1:City Field, but they're making.
Speaker 2:What's the name of their fucking stadium? Citi Field Citi.
Speaker 1:Field, but they're making this whole recreational.
Speaker 3:They want something that can win in that area.
Speaker 1:It's going to be like a concert venue too.
Speaker 2:Something with a concert venue, yeah, like all that industrial fucking ghetto that's there.
Speaker 3:They're going to fucking bulldoze it and build it back up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think they're in the process now it, I think they're in the process.
Speaker 1:now it got approved.
Speaker 3:I got to try to get a piece of that insurance. Call them, call Steve, if anyone's listening to the fucking retail insurance broker who's on that fucking project. Pay no attention to shit we say on this show. Call me privately, dude, that shit's going to take like a decade to do.
Speaker 2:I certainly hope so, kev. It's a lot of money. You can undercut somebody. It's a lot of money. You can undercut somebody. It's a lot of money. Yeah, a lot of money there. You just walk in there and undercut them, right, that's business, right Capitalism.
Speaker 3:Oh, let's see how bad my father's day is fucked up tomorrow. Here we go. What happened? Leah has to be at the field at 8.45 am you leaving now. So that's a 6 o'clock wake-up time, to leave by 7. 18.
Speaker 1:8.45?. Wait, you gotta be at Saugerties at 8.45? It's only an hour and a half you have to be at Saugerties at 8.45.
Speaker 2:I guess it's South Albany, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's not that far. Not that far. It's westugert, or is it 845? I guess it's South Albany, right? Yeah, but it's not that far.
Speaker 2:Not that far it's west, though it's an hour ride, it's a little west Hour and 15, hour and 20, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, depending on it's usually yeah, well, it's holiday, dude.
Speaker 2:You never know who's traveling. Not at 7 o'clock in the morning, Kev Not at, I'll probably hit traffic Actually. Maybe you got people going to visit dad in Canada. You don't know.
Speaker 3:Actually, I probably won't hit traffic on the way back, because where did Canada?
Speaker 2:come from the way he's going to have to get to Sorghetti's. I'm trying to, you know, like Thruway 87? Yeah, 87 up, you know.
Speaker 3:Well, actually I took the back roads the other day. It wasn't bad.
Speaker 4:Where'd you go. I took out a Taconic to a bull's head road. I love bull's head.
Speaker 1:Dude, you're sleeping in your truck tonight. What's?
Speaker 3:wrong? No, I'm not. There's been a lot of innuendo this evening. A lot of innuendo, bull's head.
Speaker 2:I think that fucking cartoon porn sent them over the edge. It might have it might have.
Speaker 1:It's not funny, kevin. Shut your mouth. It's kind of funny. Go ahead, say something stupid, you're going to say something stupid.
Speaker 2:Where's your favorite little button? Where is it? Shut up, bitch. There it is. It's always good.
Speaker 3:This fucking guy's been trying to find a way to sneak away for 10 minutes, since you saw that thing on TV.
Speaker 1:What, what Cranking in the corner on a fucking cartoon porn Bull's head Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, let's have sex. You know, no, biggie Kevin would walk in.
Speaker 2:There's a pill for that.
Speaker 1:Kevin would walk in. There's a pill for that. Kevin would walk in, let the boy watch.
Speaker 2:Try to turn this on me. It's a little weird.
Speaker 1:It's a little weird. All right, I'm done, I'm tired. You finished, are you done? You just going to roll over and go to sleep now? Yeah, are you?
Speaker 3:done, kevin? I think you roll over and go to sleep now. Yeah, are you done, kevin? I think you should spoon me, kevin, for a minute.
Speaker 2:You don't want to cuddle, no.
Speaker 4:Shotgun little spoon.
Speaker 1:That's good, that's good.
Speaker 3:That's how we end the fucking episode on that, all right so play a little music and uh, yeah, what do you want to hear?
Speaker 2:you should play lit again yeah, gorillas, give me some gorillas, gorillas that wasn't bad no, it wasn't bad.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't bad at all. That's feel-good. Ink right, want me to beatbox? No, no.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 1:What was the one you were just doing? You know this. What am I fucking talking about? Yeah, I need more cowbell. Give me that tambourine. All right, ladies, fuck this shit, we're out. Take it deep.
Speaker 3:Happy Father's Day, bitches.
Speaker 2:We're back live people we got stories Shit's happening, shit's happening, right, sorry, sorry so I was outside I asked pat. I was like, dude, you see that picture of the snake I sent? Yeah, I was like it's right over there. And he's like, oh, he's all you know bugging out or whatever.
Speaker 3:I wasn't bugging out well, obviously didn't enjoy snakes, like kind of skeeved out maybe the only thing that could have been worse was it was a spider snake, maybe spider snake, maybe a little fear, you know.
Speaker 2:Um. So I just kind of kind of laughed. Like you know, I laughed. It was a cool picture of the garter snake. He was all perched up like a spitting cobra. Like ready to fucking like, pounce on like a cricket.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I just emailed it. I think I'll be able to, I'll be able to share this, so just give me one second. Keep talking, keep talking.
Speaker 2:So then like uh, he starts, you know, he's like, well, did? He's like I've been traumatized. I'm like traumatized by what dude? Like what happened, you got an incident, so and then he tells me this okay.
Speaker 1:So do you remember back in the day, maddie, when, um, they would have middle school? Yeah right, they would have, like uh, what do you call it? The exotic animals. Like you remember this?
Speaker 2:Like the in-school field trip, go sit in the auditorium everybody.
Speaker 3:you know yes, yes, yep, yep, All right. I'm trying to find. I can't find a live to share. Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:I think I can do it. Downloads. That wasn't it, shit?
Speaker 2:Where is it you want me to just hold it up in front of the fucking camera?
Speaker 1:no, you dickhead oh, there, it is alright, so this is on down 740 see, this is kind of cool.
Speaker 2:He was just kind of chilling out, just like that, and he didn't move when I walked by him and so I whipped out the camera and I was like, oh, this is a cool like that. And he didn't move when I walked by him and so I whipped out the camera and I was like, oh, this is a cool pic.
Speaker 3:He's ready to pounce.
Speaker 2:Little garter snake.
Speaker 3:That is not a garter snake.
Speaker 2:That's a garter snake man. The yard is full of them, whatever.
Speaker 1:So anyway, wait, wait, wait, I can share the screen. So there it is there we go. So anyway, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so I could share the screen. So we're gonna. Oh, we have, we have done. There, it is there, it is there we go. So now, that's, that's the snake, so people can see this. All right, snakes why all?
Speaker 1:right, so snakes? I was like, yeah, I saw that. I was like. I was like I just I've been traumatized with snakes. And he's like, oh, yeah, how? So in seventh grade they had um exotic animals and they had it in the george fisher middle school auditorium and next thing, you know, like all these animals come through and he's like, oh, we're gonna need some, we're gonna need some um volunteers. Yeah, but what was the word I used? I forgot we're going to need some brave people out there. Yeah, I was like oh me me.
Speaker 3:I got chosen right and this is back when you had hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah, beautiful, beautiful, long mane Rawr. So lo and behold, they pull out this like 32-foot anaconda From their pants, from this satchel they had an anaconda in a satchel.
Speaker 3:Pulled out a Damien Next thing you know you have like 10 kids. Jake DeSnake Roberts came out and clotheslined you. Did the guy have a mullet?
Speaker 1:Yo, he booted me right in the mouth at seventh grade. It was unbelievable, fucking. You heard the bell. It was unbelievable. You heard the bell, it was nuts. So it ends up where there's like 12 of us holding this fucking thing Right. I end up at the neck head area, and when I mean Like not front seat of the roller coaster, but like yeah, close enough. Okay, when I mean the strength and the muscle and the girth, the girth of this animal, first time you ever grabbed anything girthy.
Speaker 3:Huh yeah, well it's middle school yeah people gotta make money somehow anyway.
Speaker 1:So it was, it's, it's, it's pure amazement, like how you know how this thing can kill things.
Speaker 3:Did it latch onto you so.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting there thinking I'm all cool, weaving back and forth with this fucking thing, holding it, struggling, and I hear out of the corner of my ear. I'm just like, oh, and anacondas are known to strike sometimes when you smack them down by the tail, and I was like what? Who was holding the tail? The tail was down there, I was by the head, yeah. So the guy starts smacking the tail like down by the tail.
Speaker 2:The owner, the snake owner guy.
Speaker 1:So I think it's. This motherfucking snake goes around me and starts constricting my neck.
Speaker 3:Okay, I would give anything in the world.
Speaker 2:There's gotta be video of this. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Back in 7th grade somebody had a fucking shoulder. It had to be a shoulder, bro.
Speaker 1:how quick how quick it was, like it just starts constricting. I start crying my eyes out as I'm running, crying on stage.
Speaker 2:How hard was it to get off? It was hard. I had to Was the guy like oh shit.
Speaker 3:Did you say your dick was hard?
Speaker 1:I had to pull like real hard and it like it, stayed for a second and I slipped my fucking hand in.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you got out. You didn't have to get rescued.
Speaker 1:I took myself out, dude, I freaked the fuck out. I was gonna be eaten.
Speaker 3:Was it perched over top of your head Like it was getting ready to fucking clamp you.
Speaker 2:You're totally like out of Aladdin, or Anaconda, did you leave crying like while everyone's still holding the snake? Yes, oh man.
Speaker 1:I ran down the fucking-. I wonder why no one has any respect for you. That's embarrassing. That's not embarrassing. I was scared.
Speaker 2:You ran away crying, kevin. You ran away crying. All right, he go cry in the car, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4:Speaking of crying, I know, speaking of crying.
Speaker 1:I would not even have told my closest friend this story, but Kevin, kevin relinquished this story.
Speaker 2:But I mean, Matt might remember this. Do you know something?
Speaker 1:about him being in the fifth grade. No, no, no, no, I'm just saying and losing a tug of war.
Speaker 2:So do you remember at the end of the year they'd hold those gymnasium fucking games?
Speaker 3:That was field day.
Speaker 2:Whatever, no, no, this was middle school. It was middle school. Yeah, this was George Fisher Middle School. Because it was middle school. Yeah, this was george fisher middle school.
Speaker 3:Um, because it was um I mean, I certainly remember we had all the gladiator games when we were in school dodgeball, tug of war, yeah, it was like wrestling.
Speaker 2:It was like a multi-day event at the end of the year like you like. It was just like the gymnasium, I don't know Sounds like my daughter's tournament.
Speaker 3:Did you hear this story?
Speaker 2:So like I won a couple of events, you know Like there was like a kickball thing- he's nationally ranked. There was like a bunch of things and it was like you know, I think I won like best guy whatever. And there was like a girl won. They won best guy whatever, most athletic, yeah, best guy, whatever.
Speaker 1:What is that?
Speaker 3:Did you throw an 80 mile an hour fastball that day?
Speaker 1:No, no, I won best guy, whatever.
Speaker 3:No, but there was like a there was a thing, a, thing, Like yeah, there was a whole bunch of different shit.
Speaker 2:It was almost like the Olympics, almost right. All right, so you're the Bruce Jenner Paraplegic Olympics, if you want to rate it like that. Sure, and the girl winner was Lynn Albert. You remember Lynn Albert, I certainly do. All right, she was a giant. Yes, right, tall, tall girl. Yeah, I mean, especially for you. Sorry, buddy, I had to get one in. So Mr McCall, the gym teacher yes, I recall he had us do like tug of war, like everybody's holy fuck, I do remember this and she beat me yes, she did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, remember this. And she beat me. Yes, she did. Yeah, it was like fifth grade, though you know it wasn't like eighth grade. I think I could have won at eighth grade, but in fifth grade she got me man she was like, she was like five, seven in fifth grade yeah, she was, she was a tall girl and the worst thing is about this did you shit yourself during the tug?
Speaker 3:of war.
Speaker 2:I can't think of anything worse than that so my like my uncle, with the bear story I told you about you know, like I got lost with my BB gun and stuff. So my father, my uncle and her father were hunting buddies and like since childhood, like we would go over their house. You ruined it, didn't you? Because we would go over the house for like New Year's and stuff like that and like we were friends, family friends, you know, in a sense. And man, I had to live with that through fucking, not only through middle school but throughout my like holidays, certain holidays and did you guys try to like arm wrestle anytime during the holidays?
Speaker 3:no, no she would probably throw, but it was a did you try to bang her one of the holiday pork?
Speaker 2:no, no dude.
Speaker 1:She fucking. No, no, Get away from me little man. Heil drives him.
Speaker 3:She power bombed him to the table at Christmas dinner. Get off me, minion.
Speaker 2:I'm glad only one person's watching this. But yeah, you're nothing but a minion, kevin. You do remember it now, right.
Speaker 3:I do remember that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, man, yes, you do remember it now, right, I do remember that yes, Not only did I beat you in tug of war, I'll beat you in life loser.
Speaker 2:Like you told the snake story, I was like man, that's so embarrassing. I was like, yeah, I got an embarrassing story from middle school. That's embarrassing, dude, dude, I got a really embarrassing story. It's really not. She was a fucking freak, you know she could dunk.
Speaker 3:She was a big strong girl.
Speaker 2:She could dunk in middle school.
Speaker 3:And she wasn't heavy either. No, she was tall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nice kid, oh yeah great family Love them. But yeah, that's the bonus show.
Speaker 1:Hey, lynn, if you gotta choose teams, can you and Kevin do a tug-of-war?
Speaker 3:can we find her? Bring her out of retirement?
Speaker 2:tug-of-war in the backyard like she was like a foot and a half taller than me man ship.
Speaker 3:She will wreck your skinny ankle to ass right now. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:So that's our stories there. It is Just a little extra on the bonus show.
Speaker 3:Nice job, fellas Nice job.
Speaker 1:That we can break. That's it.
Speaker 3:Kevin's a faggot, wow. And Pat's a fucking retard for fucking holding the phone.
Speaker 2:You know what I just wasn't as mad.
Speaker 1:Why do I gotta be a retard for running?
Speaker 2:I was about to be fucking eaten dude, you ran away crying when they were still holding the thing you lost to a 6'5 chick.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say faggot, I could go faggot back to back. I mean you can?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can. You left the stage, bro. It's not like they were done.
Speaker 1:I was gonna be swallowed like fucking ice cube, bro, like you went crying. I was looking for jennifer lopez john voight, actually, I mean, but I was looking for jennifer lopez, I at least cried by myself, not in front of everybody. I let it out, bro, I wear it on my sleeve. You went, you went to the.
Speaker 3:You went to the little girl's room afterwards and you cried I don't keep it in, kevin.
Speaker 1:I waited till I got home, cried in the shower.
Speaker 2:I don't keep it in, kevin, I waited until I got home I cried in my room. I was in the shower like the crying game. Oh, no.
Speaker 3:Oh, way to make it cringy. What sad song do you have in the background? Way to make it cringy. It's hard to say I'm sorry by Chicago. The background to make it cringy, it's hard to say I'm sorry by chicago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just why not the crying game song, yeah sorry seems to be the hardest word. Elton john oh fuck, we got two people I hope.
Speaker 3:One of those is you we just, we just live stream. This doesn't matter, we'll be there for days oh, where's the fucking bluetooth bro that sucks?
Speaker 1:Oh, where's the fucking Bluetooth bro that sucks? Fuck man.
Speaker 3:Moment ruined, no.
Speaker 1:Ruined. Why am I not connected? That's weird. Press Bluetooth Now we are. Oh, there we go. That's a nice little tone right there. That's peculiar, Right A little bit of this man. I just lost that tug-of-war to that tall bitch down the street. Now I got to go home and just and just I gotta wash this filth off of me. Her father's gonna call my father.
Speaker 3:What am I gonna do to?
Speaker 4:make you love me.
Speaker 8:What am I?
Speaker 4:gonna do to make you care? What do I do when?
Speaker 1:lightning strikes me. What do I do when lightning strikes me? Yeah, what was her name and a way to find Lynn? Albert, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Fifth grade. What do I do To make you love Lynn? Fifth grade. It's fifthth grade people well, I'm just saying.
Speaker 3:The story seems to have stuck with you it was like 118 pounds pure fucking muscle.
Speaker 2:No, you get to do a lot of pull ups. That's why I was there.
Speaker 1:I was there to win. I was there to win. Fucking tournament, bro. Fucking kicked the ball Really far.
Speaker 2:I did a couple of things Like fucking awesome and I ended up fucking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, watch how far I can throw this boomerang?
Speaker 3:See, it was just teaching you Early in life what happens when you Try to excel Right.
Speaker 1:Remember the Nerf boomerang?
Speaker 2:Maybe you remember the Nerf boomerang I was gonna say maybe she was like really a dude in like the first transgenic.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 4:Don't even go there, no.
Speaker 1:Is she swimming for University of Penn now?
Speaker 3:Unless she pegged you at one of the holiday dinners, I beat you a tug of war. Now take this.
Speaker 1:I pick things up and put them down Right on you, small Kevin.
Speaker 2:Little K. I was getting so many compliments at the start of the show. You guys just can't help yourself. Let's do a bonus show and fucking shit on them. Get on your knees, little boy. Tug on this. Hey, tug on this.
Speaker 3:It's me lynn albert no, come on come on getting mean, there you're out of water.
Speaker 2:sorry you're out. You're out of water, sorry You're out of water.
Speaker 3:You're out of water.
Speaker 1:Who's being mean? The way you make it sound, that's the way she must have been talking. 6'5" in fifth grade.
Speaker 2:She was tall. She was tall dude. She was a no-joke. 6-something in fifth grade.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think she ended up going to play D1 basketball Somewhere.
Speaker 2:I think she like played varsity High school basketball as like a Fucking 6th or 7th grader Yep.
Speaker 1:Yeah she was. She's got all the stats.
Speaker 2:How come I don't remember. It's not so bad when, like you hear, you know.
Speaker 3:Well, no, it is. I mean, it's still bad don't get.
Speaker 2:I mean it's not so bad. When, like you hear, you know Well, no, it is. I mean it's still bad. Don't get me wrong, it is for you. Yeah, trust me, I fucking lived it, dude. I had to live it. Man, I had to live it the day after. Get on your knees and take this. I didn't hear the end of that shit until like sophomore year of high school. Bro, why?
Speaker 3:did he even stop? Did you cry, were you?
Speaker 2:our first friend. I told you I cried alone.
Speaker 1:Were you our first friend to be pegged?
Speaker 2:No, I was not pegged. Never been pegged, buddy, I don't know about that.
Speaker 3:We're going to talk to the assassin about that, see, if we can't make that happen. I peg him all the time, but she might not know what Peggy is.
Speaker 4:I'm like you're talking. Get stuck in there.
Speaker 3:Get the fuck out of there, let's do a bonus show. They said It'd be great.
Speaker 1:Well, ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, thank you for joining us for our bonus show. I like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks.
Speaker 1:No, I actually like that. That's cool, like when we come up with something just quick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not afraid of sharing.
Speaker 3:Had to go.
Speaker 1:I do not like snakes. That's it. I don't have to be a pussy for, not For running and crying.
Speaker 3:Snakes or spiders. What's worse?
Speaker 1:I would say, just because you see spiders, I would say spiders, there's a lot out there.
Speaker 2:And they're fucking ugly. See, I would have thought you would have went snakes From your experience.
Speaker 1:Well, now it's just, I think, because I think spiders, yeah, what is up with that? What, these fucking spiders that are supposed to be coming up from the south? Propaganda?
Speaker 2:The flying spiders? Yeah, dude, that was like a year or so ago I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's what I've been hearing on the news, though.
Speaker 2:No, but yeah, I don't know if it's happening again, but it was like a year ago.
Speaker 3:We've seen it on social media. It's all propaganda.
Speaker 2:Don't fly, they just get caught up in the wind. Did you guys hear something up there?
Speaker 1:No, just looking for spiders. I hate spiders. I think you have more access to spiders than you do snakes.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. I suppose you know there's a lot of snakes in the yard man.
Speaker 3:Apparently not in this yard.
Speaker 1:No, his fucking yard's like a fairway.
Speaker 3:He's got spitting garter snakes in his yard.
Speaker 2:He's got spitting garter snakes Like I probably saw like six today. One got me by the hot tub, like when I was like, what do you mean by got you? Well, like it was a lot bigger Than the one I took a picture of Crawled up your leg.
Speaker 2:It was a lot bigger than the one I took a picture of. Pegged me in the hot tub, crawled up your leg. It was a lot bigger than the one I took a picture of. I'm going to show you a real peg. I jumped when I saw it fucking move. It was Sizable, it was thick.
Speaker 1:What kind of snake? A garter snake A Barry. They're all garter snakes man, a Barry, what A Barry, what A Barry Wood. That's a big fucking snake dude. I don't want any part of that either.
Speaker 2:No, but this one was pretty big. I was like, ooh, I didn't know they got that big.
Speaker 3:Johnny Pica said Spider Flu is on the way.
Speaker 2:Oh man, johnny Pica for the bonus show. Alright, does Pica remember that? Or was he one of them? Fucking Kennedy kids. Keep her name out, your motherfucking mouth or one of them. Um fucking saint james kids. Was he a saint james kid?
Speaker 3:oh, I don't know. Was he in middle school? I think he was in middle school. You were middle school, what else were you?
Speaker 2:yeah had to be pretty sure I always forget who were like the, the saint james kids. Yeah, you know that showed up at high school like mike muldoon. Yeah, you know like. Yeah, it was just like a little quirky thing about high school saint james until sixth grade. So yeah, see I thought oh no, so yeah, so you missed the beating. So yeah, he may have missed it, because I think I'm pretty sure I hope it was fifth grade. You've heard it here first. Does he even know what we're talking about?
Speaker 1:No, he's George Fisher.
Speaker 2:seventh and eighth grade, that's when he was in, so he missed it.
Speaker 1:He missed the Lynn Albert beating. Well that makes sense.
Speaker 3:We played baseball in eighth grade. Yeah, albert, well, that makes sense. We, we played. We played baseball in eighth grade. Yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 1:All right, I think everybody played baseball.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause there was like a school team, pat. There was like a population of St James kids that did come in at like seventh grade. Yes, yeah, like a handful.
Speaker 3:I think, I think Maddie Higgins did elementary school with us and then he he took a quick hiatus to, uh, to Catholic school and then came back.
Speaker 2:We're like neighbor friends that went to school. No, they're like the Amish what, what, coming into public school from like a Catholic school.
Speaker 3:He didn't have electricity and they rode horses.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying it was different.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's significantly different in your eyes.
Speaker 2:And it'd peak his eyes. I'm sure it was too man Fucking. St James sucked. I had a few.
Speaker 3:St James Peek his last comment.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:You're not wrong, johnny. You're not wrong, johnny, you're not wrong.
Speaker 4:I remember thinking I could stand up and perform cunnilingus on her.
Speaker 1:That's.
Speaker 2:That's the comment that ends the show right there exclamation point that's a term I haven't heard in a long time, kind of lingos since you were married engaged since you were married.
Speaker 1:Engaged, I mean, let's be honest, engaged, you know touche that just came out, that just came out, that just just came out of his mouth, oh you know, choose your words better, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Be better, be better, be you don't, don't, don't, lose tug of wars to women remember thinking I could stand up.
Speaker 1:Remember thinking you have any crazy embarrassing fucking george fisher middle school moments like yeah I tried to stand up and give uh, give her some kind of legalists, and I got what?
Speaker 3:I'm sure I do nothing.
Speaker 2:Nothing, maddie it's still, it's still not as bad as mark cochran shitting, shitting himself after Joe Wallace hit him with a dodgeball.
Speaker 3:No, no, no. Exclamation point period. You know.
Speaker 2:End. Yeah, like we know that's the winner. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, was Pika there for that? I mean he may have been.
Speaker 3:I might have been.
Speaker 2:It was later, in middle school, when Joe was fucking developed. You know the guy was shaving in like fourth grade.
Speaker 4:He was shaving before Dave Morgan.
Speaker 1:Jeff Storms was like that. Remember Jeff Storms, he was shaving before Dave Morgan. Yeah, dude, dave was Dave's one of the hairiest.
Speaker 3:But Joe was a fucking, awesome, fucking athlete, until he fucking folded his knee back the wrong way.
Speaker 1:He wants to know what grade that was in Fifth. So he wasn't in then.
Speaker 2:If he doesn't remember, it was before seventh or eighth, because it's not something you would forget.
Speaker 1:No, Because Kevin's so epic with his fucking. Oh, oh, what about your? What about my? What your M80s?
Speaker 2:We're just gonna throw that out. No sort of.
Speaker 1:You sounded like you had some Some parental issues when you were younger.
Speaker 2:So what do you want to hear?
Speaker 1:The beginning of Jesse James.
Speaker 3:Oh, ah, here we go. It's going to be a fucking hour long bonus show.
Speaker 2:Right, a fucking extra bonus show. So you want to hear the whole purchasing?
Speaker 3:We'll start with the purchasing.
Speaker 2:What grade are you in? It was either 6th or 7th Somewhere around there. Okay, I had bought a bag of M80s Off of one, mr Frank Perry now, when you say A bag like it's like 40 to 50.
Speaker 1:Can I just say what Pika said, what I just remember Getting untimely boners In Mrs Hill's English class.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, she was cute, so is the Wow. One of like yeah she was cute, so was the Wow. One of the home ec teachers was cute too.
Speaker 3:You're talking about Miss Holtzman.
Speaker 2:Maybe Hoffman. It was Hoffman too, wasn't it? And then she got married and it became Holtzman oh, I don't know, like yeah, but anyway. So I bought a bag of M80s.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but anyway.
Speaker 2:So I bought a bag of Bought, a bag of M80s, yeah, and What'd you do with said M80s? Kev. Well, I brought them home On the bus and on the ride home Huge fan.
Speaker 3:Bubba Joe.
Speaker 1:Mason. We were telling people the 18th To watch Fox To watch Beat, shazam Shazam people the 18th to watch Fox to watch beat.
Speaker 2:Shazam.
Speaker 1:Shazam beat Shazam, you're on it national TV throwing high five to who cloned Tyrone and we're gonna have we want you on the show after this airs so we can talk about we want to talk about your experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if your game so after this airs so we can talk about your experience If you're game. So I'm on the bus and I'm I've decided to we're back to 7th grade with the bag of Emmys.
Speaker 3:Back to the nostalgia.
Speaker 2:I've decided to light some and throw them out the window as we're driving home.
Speaker 3:Why did you have a lighter as a 7th grade? What the fuck is going through your brain, I mean were you rocking? I a lighter as a seventh grade. What the fuck is going through your brain, I mean, were you rocking?
Speaker 1:I mean, is this a real question? After like stories that I told you guys, did you have cigarettes rolled up in your sleeve, did you no Okay, so I knew I was getting them.
Speaker 2:And I was going to blow some up at the ball field in Hill and Dale Before I got home. All right, okay, the ball field. Who calls it the ball field? That's what it was called the ball field, the field of dreams, but anyway. So I'm lighting them 80s, throwing them out the window and like they're exploding, well, after we've I've thrown them out the window.
Speaker 3:Now what road are you on that? You're throwing these out the window. We're on Fair Street. Okay, so, middle of the day, Fair Street.
Speaker 2:Well, it's the end of it. It's whatever time. What 3 o'clock? What time was middle school lit up?
Speaker 1:Getting close to dark because it's in October.
Speaker 2:Yeah, halloween. Well, no, it's not getting close to dark, it's 3 o'clock. 3 o'clock in the air 3.45, whatever, I forget what time it was but anyway. So I've thrown a couple out the window All right. And the bus is driving and I go to throw it out the window and I fumble and it goes to the floor.
Speaker 3:So there's a lit M-80 on the bus.
Speaker 2:There's a lit M-80 on the bus. It goes underneath the seat, luckily, luckily, lit m80 on the bus. Right goes underneath the seat, luckily, luckily, I was sitting in front of the hump the wheel. Well, we, we all know the hump. Yeah, you know, yeah, and it.
Speaker 3:It stuck in the little like oh, so it didn't roll to the back of the bus no, it didn't catch.
Speaker 2:there was like a little fucking alleyway on the end where it could, but it it didn't. It stayed like in the middle and I, just like I had all I had to go under one seat and I it was arm's length and I got it. And I'm now I'm like fucking, I get it out the window.
Speaker 3:Right, and it's trying not to Jason, pierre, pull yourself before, exactly.
Speaker 2:And and many other people besides myself, you know, um, so it gets out the window and it doesn't get like into the woods, like across the road, because I was sitting on like the driver's side of the school bus. Okay, and um, so it it fucking bounces on the road and momentum from you know the bus, it doesn't like bounce into the woods, it, it's bouncing down the road like in the shoulder gully guardrail area. Yeah, and it it bounces like twice and the rolls underneath the car at like St Michael's terrace and blows up underneath the car Like the car didn't blow up like I. I'm pretty sure nobody was harmed in the making of this moment of my life there was probably some underwear that were soiled, oh yeah yeah, dude, because you could see it come out from underneath like the flash, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that was the last one we did for that ride, okay, and we waited till we got um off the bus and and then what did we do, kev? Well, the other story wasn't that day, you know, all right, all right, like. This was like a good, maybe like a week or two before Halloween, dude we just got some fan mail.
Speaker 1:Nice from who On Buzzsprout? On Buzzsprout. Yeah, fai, it's something. Ridgefield, connecticut, where can I watch live Nice? How do I respond to this?
Speaker 2:With where.
Speaker 3:Why is that coming from New Fairfield Connecticut? That sounds like richfield he said rich.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought he said new fairfield. You did the old fantasy mix-up, gps, mix-up, save. How do I uh, I don't know how to move up under a fucking car. I don't know how to respond to this shit. Thank god for that home, dude, like thank god that home.
Speaker 3:There'd be some bitch with nine toes and you'd still be paying her.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to respond to it.
Speaker 3:We'll figure it out after this. Yeah, I just got that too.
Speaker 1:You got it too. Yeah, that's weird Fan mail, though it's nice.
Speaker 3:Super fan, ben, by the way, is the uh fenway park? Nobody, you know what it may be. Mikey who uh? Oh, oh, fuck that guy mikey d.
Speaker 2:No, no, daughter mikey. She just texted me what? What do you live stream the podcast on facebook asking so maybe that's the fan mail. I don't know. If that's the fan mail, I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, all he has to do is if he likes us on Facebook, he can find us. You get the notification. Yeah, just tell him to search for the Ticket Deep Show.
Speaker 2:Is it only on Facebook or is it on anything else? Right now, only on Facebook. No, yeah, we stopped the thing.
Speaker 1:Twitch. We stopped a long time ago that just got I don't know.
Speaker 3:See, I like how we're talking here, just all relaxed. It's nice. Well, we're done with the show. This is just bonus material.
Speaker 2:Am I going further into the M80s. I don't know if you can, because, well, the M80s I can. The other thing is different firework.
Speaker 3:No, no, we're not going.
Speaker 1:You're teeter tottering on Serial killer. All you need to do is coach Little League, so You're not discussing that.
Speaker 3:You're teeter-tottering on serial killer.
Speaker 2:All you need to do is coach Little League. So we had this Canadian goose problem Geese, canadian geese, they're just nasty fucking animals. Topic one animal mutilation, animal mutilation, and you've heard me refer to the ball field a few times now.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So it was a baseball field. You played baseball football, you know we know what happened.
Speaker 2:You know we lost all like yeah, grew up there, you fucking played there a lot, Met the neighborhood kids down there or whatever. You know, Um, and you just get covered in goose shit. You know, you came home green, it wasn't grass stains, it was fucking goose shit. So you know, I fished a lot too. So like the fucking annoying with that too. So what one day with the M eighties, I, um, I blacked tape some bread you actually went slices of bread around the M 80.
Speaker 2:You actually went into the fridge and got the white bread and and you black taped, electric taped it to the M, eighties, yeah, and would throw it in the water and the geese would come swimming over to the bread Like Ooh, cause people would feed the geese all the time. And then, except I, fed him with electrical tape and then kablooey, you know boom you killed one.
Speaker 2:Um no, unfortunately. You know, boom, you killed one. Um no, unfortunately, because they'd swim over to it and then it's kind of still be smoking a little bit. Then it would like swim away and like it, it get caught a little bit. It wouldn't. It wasn't quite the ending I was hoping, but what was the? Ending you were hoping for. I went to blow the fucking thing to bits. Man, like I said, I fucking hated those things and I had fucking explosives does this all stem from your tug of war loss?
Speaker 2:you know what it could be, man are you trying to? It could be, you know is every can Canadian goose Definitely after the tuck.
Speaker 1:Is every Canadian goose to you, Lynn Albert.
Speaker 2:I don't know, man, I'm going to have to go to therapy for that one. I'm going to have to get some ink blots or something, I think.
Speaker 3:Hey, Pat, I think we need to put a couch in the studio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sure we can get Dr Jizz Paws in here. Oh, geez, no Hi, we come here for your problem. Hi, hello, kevin, hi Hi, you don't like tall women. Huh Hi, tall women scare you PTSD. Okay, what happened when I say no wonder you don't like the WNBA.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, my God, maybe that's it.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, that is it. Look at us connecting dots, making fucking progress.
Speaker 1:I feel so free now, oh, kevin.
Speaker 2:That's a crazy fucking line to draw, though Six-five bitch chop you down, Kevin. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Six-five chop you down, lynn. Six-five she step all over you. God, she, oh man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm gonna need a cigarette.
Speaker 1:She going through Tokyo. Oh, here come Lin. Hey, watch out, kevin, I'm gonna step on you, tug of war go.
Speaker 3:Actually, the more I fucking think about it. Not only did she beat you, but she beat you bad.
Speaker 2:Quickly. Yeah, because, like honestly, like I remember, like it started quicker than I expected and I just couldn't recover. Does Joe remember it? Why is it hidden?
Speaker 1:it says. I think I had a similar experience. Mr Snyder paired me up against three girls in the tug of war. I didn't get a good grip in the rope on the rope and it burned half the skin off my finger. Did you lose, joe?
Speaker 2:does joe remember my loss? Because it was like the entire gym was like, if they could, they were throwing tomatoes at me.
Speaker 1:You know can you turn the glare down on Pat's head? That's terrible.
Speaker 3:Fucked up, mike. Put your fucking hat back on.
Speaker 1:Boldy Is it? Is it glaring?
Speaker 2:It's a little shiny man.
Speaker 1:I thought you were talking about pale pasty. Kevin, over to the left, yeah, man.
Speaker 2:Wow, I'm jaundiced at worst.
Speaker 1:I got a yellow tint. Shit is my head shining that much.
Speaker 2:Matt looks orange. He looks like the Donald. Does it look like that on Facebook too?
Speaker 3:too. Yeah, a little bit it does yeah we have to work on the lighting I got a huge glare off my head.
Speaker 1:I guess maybe get some some yellow like that doesn't look, doesn't look crazy glary no, a little bit man oh, I see where I look like. I have a fucking like a diamond here or something I could shoot out. Lasers Patel, oh.
Speaker 2:Sorry, definitely got like fucking bronzer on.
Speaker 1:Looking around his tattoo and inside His arm right. Job there, donald. All right. What do you think about this bonus show? I'm fucking crying Bad.
Speaker 3:40 minutes Of shame yeah, all right. What do you think about this?
Speaker 1:bonus show Not bad 40 minutes of shame. Yeah, that's all it was. That's all it was.
Speaker 2:That's how you title it.
Speaker 1:Joe says I did and I don't remember, but it's a great story, thanks pal.
Speaker 2:Always willing to share the great ones, classic Except one. Always willing to share the great ones, classic Except one Can you imagine what it smells like in the paint during a WNBA game. Who said that? Where is that? Who said that Scroll, the scroll Scroll. Who said that Come on, oh Pika, you're the scroll, come on.
Speaker 3:Oh Pika, you're the best we went from. Keep her name out your motherfucking mouth. Could you imagine?
Speaker 1:what the paint smells like. That's gross.
Speaker 3:All right then.
Speaker 1:I think that's where we have to call it quits after that.
Speaker 3:Happy Father's Day again, ladies and gentlemen, quits after that Happy.
Speaker 1:Father's Day again. Ladies and gentlemen, you have yourself a great Father's Day. We're signing off finally. Again, again, unless we come up with something funny again, we promise.
Speaker 3:We can play another song.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we are, yeah, we are. You guys get your cowbell.
Speaker 2:Oh boy Okay.
Speaker 1:You get your cowbell.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, okay, you get your tambourine and we're not gonna do. Sorry, seems to be the hardest word no.
Speaker 4:No, no, we're not, I'm sorry, so sorry all right, all right, here we go.
Speaker 1:You ready? All right, all right, here we go.
Speaker 5:You ready? Nothing to do, no way to go. I won't be sleeping. Just give me just a little more Slowly on a plane, hurry, hurry, hurry, before I go insane. I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain. Oh, no, no, no, no. So when it's 2024, I was a fool.
Speaker 6:I won't be sleeping. Nothing to do, no way to go, yeah, way to fucking close it out.
Speaker 1:That was great. Later everybody. I like that one so much better. I lost to a girl, instead of I sleep in a drawer I lost to a girl Instead of I sleep in a drawer.
Speaker 3:I lost to a girl.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, you have yourself, especially our male friends out there. Happy Father's Day to you, fellas. Enjoy it. We're not going to be on tomorrow.
Speaker 3:I guess we'll be cooking our own meals and doing other things that we shouldn't be doing.
Speaker 1:Not sharing, not talking about our feelings.
Speaker 3:No, definitely not talking about our feelings. Just being men, although I may text Kevin to make sure he's okay After that tug of war loss, I don't know if I would, I'd probably let him be for a night.
Speaker 2:I'm fine now. It's kind of funny. We've got to the root of my hate of the.
Speaker 1:WNBA.
Speaker 2:Marv Albert's niece. It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1:We've got to the root of my hate of the WNBA. Lynn Albert, marv Albert's niece. Imagine it was Marv Albert's niece.
Speaker 3:Cut the show All right guys, Stop it.
Speaker 1:Take it deep. We're out of here.
Speaker 2:What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 4:T-T-T-T-T. Outro Music.
