From Gummies to Galaxies: A Hilarious Journey

Ever wondered what happens when you mix gas station gummies with recording equipment? Brace yourselves for a hilarious recount of our chaotic attempts to kick off this episode while under the influence. We dive headfirst into the absurdities of trying to make coherent decisions, reflect on historical oddities like the moon landing, and jokingly entertain the notion of being flat earthers. It's a rollercoaster of laughter, technical difficulties, and quirky anecdotes that reveal just how unpredictable our sessions can get.

Next, we step into the cosmos with a skeptical eye, challenging conventional understandings of celestial alignment. How is it that all the planets spin in the same direction? What are the odds that the moon's perfect shape and rotation are just coincidences? With a mix of humor and curiosity, we explore alternative explanations for these phenomena, even suggesting a Truman Show-like scenario for our universe. Prepare for a thought-provoking discussion that might just make you question everything you thought you knew about the solar system.

Finally, we cover a whirlwind of topics, from the frustrations of road rage and sports banter to the looming threat of the asteroid Apophis. We vent about driving nightmares, celebrate our favorite sports victories, and ponder hilarious what-if scenarios involving asteroid impacts. With playful banter, nostalgic references, and unexpected tangents, this episode promises plenty of laughs and moments that will keep you hooked from start to finish. Whether you're into conspiracy theories, TikTok bans, or superhero anatomy, there's something for everyone in this wild episode.

https://www.thetakeitdeepshow.com

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

I feel shocked. All right, we're recording.

Speaker 2 0:10

Yeah, we're recording on the board also.

Speaker 1 0:13

Yeah, look at see, I've practiced and it's blinking red.

Speaker 3 0:17

Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 0:19

I had to make sure I got this down. All right, I just hit the go live button. All right, settle it down into sound pads, all right.

Speaker 3 0:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1 0:29

Let's see if this works.

Speaker 3 1:06

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:10

Oh yeah, here we go buddy, yeah, get that second wind.

Speaker 1 1:20

Woo, I am my own hero, though I'm going to be honest with you. Hashtag pulling for Pat. You're fucking A right. I'm pulling for myself right now.

Speaker 6 1:37

What we do in life echoes in eternity.

Speaker 1 2:08

Take care, we're coming to you a little late on a Diverted road of gummies and bad decisions. I'm amazed we're even here To bring you a late episode on a Sunday night when we were 45 minutes ago.

Speaker 2 2:45

It wasn't going to be at the table.

Speaker 1 2:46

Where I was 45 minutes ago. Not too many human beings have ventured.

Speaker 5 2:51

Smart money was on next week.

Speaker 1 2:53

I was like the long shot who just won the fucking Kentucky Derby.

Speaker 2 2:57

Magic Dan 18 to 1. Dude I was a good 75 to 1. I was going to say you were the longest of long shots, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 3:11

So let's. I can't even believe I'm talking right now and he's incomprehending anything that's going on. You're going to have no recollection of this. This I'm going to remember the possession that just happened. Who brought the priest? Where was the priest?

Speaker 2 3:26

and where was the holy water when we got you out of Deebo's pigeon coop? Oh, dude, that's funny.

Speaker 3 3:37

Do you want to?

Speaker 1 3:38

see it. So Matt has heard what I could do with the mic right. Yes, I did so the last 45 minutes. This is what it was like in my head it's okay, you're going to get through this.

Speaker 4 3:56

Wow, that's awesome. This is me, the gas station gummy.

Speaker 5 4:06

Oh, that's incredible.

Speaker 3 4:14

That's what I thought when I was playing with Pat's head.

Speaker 4 4:17

Oh man, I just took one look and I said eat me, but just a little, just a little nibble for $8.

Speaker 3 4:36

$8.

Speaker 1 4:40

That's incredible. That's fucking fantastic.

Speaker 2 4:43

That's absolutely fantastic. That's going to come in handy later.

Speaker 1 4:46

Oh yeah, In later shows, no joke dude, that's what it's like every time a decision is made. That's going to come in handy later. Oh yeah, in later shows. No joke, dude. That's what it's like every time a decision is made. That's the voice.

Speaker 3 4:52

I hear.

Speaker 2 4:57

We have to get the lighter side of the rainbow at some point on that board there is no light side of the rainbow, matt.

Speaker 4 5:04

Ha ha, ha ha, it's me the devil. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho.

Speaker 2 5:11

That can get us into a lot of trouble. That's actually a live recording from the other side of the glory hole, yeah.

Speaker 1 5:17

That's coming straight from the depths of hell, right, I mean, we can communicate with the depths of hell, but we can't fucking communicate when astronauts are on the moon. Now, that can't happen.

Speaker 5 5:29

Well, we never landed on the moon. This is true.

Speaker 2 5:33

We've never been to outer space.

Speaker 1 5:35

Well, okay, speaking of space, speaking of the Earth, time and space, no, what about it? I don't know, just going with it. I think I'm leaning more to be a flat earther.

Speaker 2 5:49

A fat merther what, not a fat ear to be a flat earther? A fat merther what?

Speaker 1 5:52

Not a fat earther, a flat earther Really.

Speaker 5 5:56

They can be pretty convincing. It is, you know, it totally is. Sometimes they spit some shit out.

Speaker 2 6:01

You're just like huh, People believe the moon landing too, for a long time.

Speaker 5 6:05

The what Moon landing. Listen, if we can do that back in Dude. I'm convinced that was faked.

Speaker 2 6:13

Yeah, well, you all debunked that years ago. Well, the whole camera.

Speaker 1 6:17

Who put it out there? Of course, the fact that you can communicate with them back in 69, but then, all of a sudden, you can't send people to the moon to communicate. It said 69. What year were they on the moon? 69.

Speaker 5 6:33

Was it really? Was he questioning my? He wrote a song about it.

Speaker 1 6:35

I know my brain was melting a little while ago, but things are starting to flash back.

Speaker 5 6:42

69 was the first fucking year that popped in my head and I was correct and you were questioning it, dude, maybe you came back like a savant, you know, like Some people hit their head and they can play the piano and shit, like maybe now.

Speaker 2 6:55

You can talk about. We can fucking podcast After a gas station gummy Dude, I figured it out.

Speaker 1 7:02

I'll get so much promotion out, dude, seriously, that fucking gas station Will just be loaded with people. Where's that gummy?

Speaker 3 7:11

It's over here.

Speaker 4 7:12

Fucking gas station will just be loaded with people Where's?

Speaker 3 7:23

that coming.

Speaker 1 7:28

This is fucking great. Is this like the first time we really use this? Yes, when's the last time we recorded? Two weeks ago.

Speaker 2 7:35

Yeah.

Speaker 1 7:35

We haven't had an episode in two weeks.

Speaker 2 7:37

No, it was a week ago. We skipped one week.

Speaker 5 7:41

God, it feels like two weeks.

Speaker 2 7:42

We unboxed the new equipment. We threw a quick show together.

Speaker 1 7:48

The apology tour you might call it. Yeah, there's nothing in the comments about us.

Speaker 2 7:51

We took a week off.

Speaker 1 7:52

They can't hear us or anything. Hopefully they can hear us.

Speaker 5 7:54

Yeah, how's the audience out there? People are, we heard.

Speaker 1 7:58

Are you guys hearing God's voice?

Speaker 5 8:02

God, we hope so.

Speaker 4 8:08

So do I.

Speaker 5 8:23

Can you talk into that? Trying to sound like what that sounds like and see how it sounds.

Speaker 2 8:29

You know, like, like, if you tried to talk like that's coming out, like what would it sound? Sound like, I think he's trying to throw you a curveball right now in your state.

Speaker 4 8:35

I don't know what you're saying. Stop confusing me, Kevin.

Speaker 2 8:44

Bubba Joe said all is well and Satan's coming through loud and clear.

Speaker 5 8:47

Can you do Harry Carey like that?

Speaker 1 8:50

That's going to sound terrible.

Speaker 3 8:53

Hey.

Speaker 1 8:56

Let's see what does. Let's see what Right, that's going to be awesome. Let's see what the Harry Carey sounds like being possessed.

Speaker 4 9:04

Hey everybody, hey, you guys see that, the best baseball game, Ryan Sandberg. Hey Matty, if the moon was made of cheese, would you eat me?

Speaker 2 9:23

Now he sounds like Satan from the South Park movie.

Speaker 5 9:27

What about Jizzpaw?

Speaker 4 9:36

Alright take off the God's voice.

Speaker 2 9:38

It's Jizzpaw, it's evil Jizzpaw.

Speaker 5 9:42

Bizarro Jizzpaw.

Speaker 3 9:43

Harry Caray sounds better. That's cum-suck-dong.

Speaker 5 9:48

Cum-suck-dong.

Speaker 1 9:51

So anyway, yeah, so we were talking about the whole flat earth thing, matty.

Speaker 5 9:57

Yes, this is the reason why I All right, so you sure you're prepared for this after that last half hour? Yeah?

Speaker 1 10:10

okay what is that? Oh is that what you guys willis reed, oh oh, I saw the video of the guy throwing up we were trying to help.

Speaker 5 10:24

That was pretty gross it didn't help it did not help.

Speaker 1 10:29

Did not in fact help, all right, so listen. This is a video that was on tiktok about this guy who literally explains how I mean, beyond convincing that dearth is flat.

The Mystery of Celestial Alignment

Speaker 6 10:42

Just take a listen, okay doesn't matter if you're a flat earther, round earther, spinning in the freaking middle of nowhere in the universe. I don't care what religion you believe. Clear your mind of everything, go back to being. Pretend you're a kid and you don't know anything. And this is your teacher. Let's just say for shits and giggles. Okay, now, after this, after this, hit up the comment section, because I want to know your thoughts on this.

Speaker 7 11:13

When you look at the solar system, there's nine planets, right, according to Neil deGrasse Tyson, the alleged greatest, they're all spinning in the same direction. You know the odds of that two to the ninth power, one in 512. That's very rare and, by the way, do not, during this conversation, do not say it was god's will, because if it's, if you use god, you have to read the bible, and the bible does not depict the earth as a spinning ball in a sea of nothing at all. So you can't have it both ways, guys. You can't have a permanent firmament. Four corners, god sits up and looks at us like grasshoppers you can't have that. And a spinning ball and nothing. Okay, listen, just please listen, because it's impossible.

Speaker 7 11:52

All right, next up on the solar system model, it's on a flat plane. Not just is the solar system a flat plane, the entire Milky Way galaxy is a flat plane. Want to talk about flat Earth? Oh, flat Earthers, flat Earthers, you're saying that after a big bang, even with the law of thermodynamics called entropy, which we'll get to in a second somehow our galaxy ended up being a perfectly flat plane where all the planets spin in the same direction. The odds of that are less than winning the mega lotto every single day for thousands of years. Understand that.

Speaker 7 12:19

Now look at the moon. The moon is a perfect circle. The odds that that happened after Big Bang and just chaos of atoms and particles and dust and rocks colliding, is zero. The odds are literally zero. There's no force, there's no wind, there's no erosion, there's no water. There's no force acting upon that moon that would make it a perfect sphere Next up. Why are the craters all perfect spheres? The way asteroids hit side side angle. We've never witnessed an asteroid. Okay, the odds that the spin of the moon is exactly the same speed as it rotates around the earth again, are zero. If it was one quarter of one mile per hour different, um, it would slowly turn the fact it doesn't. And there is zero physics explanations with the model of gravity as we know it to explain why the moon, why its axis rotation, is exactly matching. It rotates around us so that we only see one side Light being shined upon. A sphere does not make the luminescence the same all the way across. You can do it across. You can do a test with a tennis ball.

Speaker 1 13:20

All right. Where are you at so far with this?

Speaker 5 13:24

He's made a couple of good points.

Speaker 1 13:26

But it's true, though. How come we can only see one side of the moon? We always see the fucking face, the guy's face, in the moon. You know what I'm talking about, right, don't?

Speaker 2 13:35

put the God voice back on.

Speaker 4 13:38

Yeah, that's me on the moon.

Speaker 5 13:40

Ha ha, ha, ha. Yeah, the rate at which the moon rotates, shut up, bitch.

Speaker 1 13:58

Yeah ha ha, everybody laughs Bitch Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know what just got over me. Man, it just came out Sorry.

Speaker 5 14:06

Carry on no okay, carry on.

Speaker 1 14:12

No, I'm done, that was funny though so is that I know, I don't know, but like now, do you like, do you believe like that's a good explanation in saying if the earth is going around us, on it has it's going the same speed, but it's on an axis as well. Why are we only seeing one side? What happens if the axle's broken, grease them up? That's what I heard and I still think I'm on the truman show. Truman.

Speaker 3 14:47

Show.

Speaker 1 14:48

I'm dead serious, man. It's starting to feel like that. It's all going to kick in when I just keep on walking to the horizon and I walk into a wall and next thing I know I just thump, yeah, and a door opens like a latch. You're just like what? You know what I'm saying? That'd be fucking great and you just walk out. It's the real world. It would explain a lot.

Speaker 5 15:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 15:11

You know Definitely, but now listen to the rest of this guy's explanation.

Speaker 7 15:17

Fall in a flashlight. It's impossible, it can't happen. It only happens on two-dimensional objects, seeing, as you've only seen, one side of the moon Because of its miraculous rotation and its perfect circle. And the fact that the luminescence is the same across the whole thing implies I'm not stating this, it implies it's a two-dimensional object a lot more than it's a spinning sphere out of the chaos of the big bang. Okay, the size and weight of the moon.

Speaker 7 15:41

According to science, it is impossible for it to be rotating around our earth the way the earth was, uh, the way the moon was created, according to mainstream science, is that, uh, an object the size of mars hit our um earth and created the moon? That's nonsense. We would have rings like saturn. Where's all the dust? Where's all the debris? Where's everything that all just disappeared? That makes no sense at all. Next up, the sun is 400 times bigger and, miraculously, 400 times farther away than the moon and, like two machine cut quarters, they line up perfectly to make an eclipse. The odds of that are one in trillions times one in trillions times one in trillions. It's not possible.

Speaker 1 16:26

One in trillions times one in trillions times one in trillions. So what are eclipses then? What do you mean? What are they? Okay, well, he's saying the chance of that actually happening, where you have both lining up perfectly, are ones in trillions, ones in trillions, ones in trillions. Now do you think there's giants outside of this studio that we're in Using flashlights and making it look like we're in using flashlights and making it look like we're having eclipses? No, you think we're being herded, saved for some souls and aliens.

Speaker 2 17:01

Look at how fucking perplexed he is by the fucking tripod over there.

Speaker 5 17:04

No, I'm just enjoying Chinese stars. What dude Just enjoying fucking around with it? Why'd it have to be Chinese? I don just enjoying.

Speaker 2 17:10

Chinese stars.

Speaker 5 17:10

What dude Just enjoying fucking around with it.

Speaker 2 17:11

Why'd it have to be Chinese?

Speaker 1 17:13

I don't know, it was just the first thing I came to my head, I guess.

Speaker 2 17:21

And I understand why you shaved your mustache a little bit now.

Speaker 3 17:23

No, my Tom.

Speaker 2 17:24

Selleck.

Speaker 1 17:27

My Tom Selleck stache, according to Pika.

Speaker 5 17:29

Trying out for Kung Fu 2. The new David Carradine.

Speaker 3 17:35

No, I'm the dude.

Speaker 2 17:42

Please don't ever let Kevin find you hanging in a closet with a belt, your dick in your hand.

Speaker 5 17:47

I didn't mean the end of his career, you know. I meant the bright spots. You know, like Kung Fu, what the fuck.

Speaker 2 17:59

God, it was a bad gas station, gummy pal, I didn't think we were doing a show tonight.

Speaker 1 18:06

Oh, I can handle them.

Speaker 5 18:07

That one was. Well, you're handling it now.

Speaker 1 18:11

I got through it. You did so. That means I handled it on my own. I did Don't you shrug your shoulders over there. I got through that myself. I talked my way through it. You had some help From God. I talked my way through it.

Speaker 2 18:23

You had some help.

Speaker 4 18:26

From God. I walked him through to the valley of the shadow of death.

Speaker 3 18:37

I said fear no evil.

Speaker 2 18:42

That's my favorite part.

Speaker 1 18:44

Oh, that's my favorite part.

Speaker 5 18:46

Dude, that's my favorite part.

Speaker 3 18:48

Dude, that's a great button, that is an awesome button.

Speaker 1 18:55

We have to put a couple of sound bites made. No, because I was fucking with the effects on this. The effects are crazy too, because it's like you guys. I can make it sound like you guys are talking in a hall right now. If you want to.

Speaker 2 19:04

No, it's all right, guys, I can make it sound like you guys are talking in a hall right now. If you want to.

Speaker 1 19:06

No, it's all right, Hello, hello hello.

Speaker 2 19:10

Can you see me?

Speaker 1 19:12

With God's voice.

Speaker 4 19:13

Is there anybody?

Speaker 3 19:15

in there Hello.

Speaker 1 19:27

You're not wrong, scott. So what was the? Oh? You ever deal with idiots on the road. Oh, you deal with idiots on the road all the time. You drive down to Jersey a lot.

Speaker 2 19:41

I had a couple instances Thursday night actually.

Speaker 1 19:45

When you're driving, you're doing a good 70 miles an hour and it's raining out, and then you get this piece of shit fucking car behind you, truck, whatever it is, gets on your ass. What are you doing?

Speaker 5 20:00

What lane are you in? I'm in the fast lane doing 70. Okay, and you got a truck on your ass. Yeah, in the fast lane doing 70. Okay, and you got a truck on your ass. Yeah, you need to be doing 80.

Speaker 2 20:11

Like a big rig, like Big Billy's.

Speaker 1 20:13

Nah, it's like a bullshit, fucking Ford, fucking truck. Little piece of shit. Thing.

Speaker 5 20:18

Well, I mean you're in the fast lane, huh, fast lane. Yeah, gotta be doing 80. Listen to this fucking guy you be doing 80.

Speaker 2 20:25

Listen to this fucking guy You're doing 15 miles an hour over.

Road Rage and Sports Banter

Speaker 1 20:29

This guy was getting ready to give TID sound off.

Speaker 2 20:33

And now he's trying to be.

Speaker 1 20:33

Oh, dude, I got to. What is wrong with 70? Because where's everybody going? They're in such a fucking hurry. And then this person flies by you.

Speaker 5 20:40

Speed limit 65? Yeah, get out of the fucking left lane then. Dude, I'm sorry you need to be doing 75 then.

Speaker 3 20:47

Yeah.

Speaker 5 20:47

You know I'm sorry, like get out of the left lane, but it's raining, it's still.

Speaker 2 20:53

Are there cars all around you?

Speaker 5 20:54

Yes, Are there cars in front of you?

Speaker 2 20:56

Yes, and on the side of you where they can't pass you.

Speaker 1 20:59

Yeah, it's like this section. This section of Pennsylvania into New York is fucking ton of trailers and cars but it's under new construction and shit, so the lanes are a little narrower, but that's in the construction zone. It's 65. Well, they don't care about that in Pennsylvania, that's what I'm saying. But then you get assholes who come flying up and they're in such a goddamn hurry and then you look, you're like oh, look, oh, okay, I see why just just to get, just to get.

Speaker 5 21:28

You're going, you're gonna get there, like my gut reaction is you got to get out of the left lane. Of course, you're very aggressive when it comes to stuff like that. I don't know how you feel, but I think you may feel the same way. Well, I can do. I need to remind you of your conversation with me when you were driving home from Jersey the other night.

Speaker 1 21:49

I don't really want to talk about that. I think Scott may be right I may have an accidental LSD gummy, you know. I think that's what that was.

Speaker 5 21:57

Like you've got to get out. If you're doing 70, you've got to get out of the left lane. I'm sorry, I'm usually on your side, man.

Speaker 1 22:04

You've got to get out of the left lane and make sure my fucking dirt bikes are ready so I can.

Speaker 2 22:09

Did you say ref-rain?

Speaker 1 22:10

Is that what I said? I said ref-rain. That sounded like what you said. Hi oh yeah, ref-rain, that's where it sounds better. Oh yeah, refrain, that's where it sounds better. Sorry, oh, that was you driving back from Pennsylvania. That's exactly the way it was. No, this is for somebody special.

Speaker 2 22:54

Fuck you, Carolina.

Speaker 1 22:56

Yeah, shout out to the fucking New York Rangers and the Knicks. But the Rangers Game one in the books. Yep, great fucking game Going up 1-0. They look good, yeah, they do. They look in the books Yep, great fucking game Going up 1-0. They look good, yeah, they do.

Speaker 5 23:08

They look really good, they do.

Speaker 1 23:10

Have you been?

Speaker 2 23:10

watching. I like it.

Speaker 5 23:14

Have you been watching? Have you been? I didn't watch it. I like it, no, no, they're so good man, they really are. They're so fast, deep.

Speaker 2 23:24

Fast and deep, everything you're not.

Speaker 3 23:34

Balls deep.

Speaker 1 23:36

It's so fucking good man. It's so fucking good. The second I saw that I'm like it's just going to make this show so much better Just by that one fucking button. That's awesome. I'm going to haunt you with that fucking voice.

Speaker 2 23:54

You are All right. So the Rangers are up 1-0. When do the Knicks play? Knicks play tomorrow.

Speaker 1 23:59

Now, this is the great part about this. So today starts. Every day from now until Friday, there's either a Knicks game or a Rangers game.

Speaker 2 24:05

Excellent. Can we get a?

Speaker 1 24:11

quick fuck, joel Embiid. I don't know if I have that on the soundboard. You should. Fuck Joel Embiid, I don't have that.

Speaker 5 24:18

Why would I have that? He's so fucking. I'll take a little fucking cowboy swig of that, like he's such a dirty-ass motherfucker man Fucking crybaby.

Speaker 2 24:33

Crybaby, dirty bitch. Yeah, the only thing that's worse than him is fucking a douchebag out on the West Coast Right.

Speaker 1 24:46

So happy I totally forgot about that one too. No, that's what it was Every time MB was down in the fucking paint. Where's the foul In his one leg? You gotta give the dude credit, though Give him no credit, dude, he's a dirty ass. He was dirty, but you would want him on your squad? No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you wouldn't. Nope the way you play Defense with everything.

Speaker 2 25:11

Yeah, he does Fucking. Do Well, Kevin, we need someone to throw him the ball.

Speaker 1 25:16

Give me the rock Shoot this shit. Kevin comes in and shoots an air ball. Dude, I could hoop.

Speaker 5 25:24

Here we go, I could hoop.

Speaker 2 25:30

Here we go. How well can you hoop? I can hoop. So what's your game? Are you like a post player? You're going off the glass, you're finger rolling, or you're like mid-range?

Speaker 5 25:45

See, I can post up a little bit. I can jump higher than you think I can, or could, I could.

Speaker 2 25:53

How many times in one game?

Speaker 5 25:55

I'll say I could jump higher than people thought I could. So yeah, I could post you up, I could hit the outside shot, I could hoop man.

Speaker 1 26:07

I was okay, so I'm gonna go with your plantar fasciitis as being okay.

Speaker 5 26:14

Dude, I just gotta stretch that out, man, like eight steps and I'm fine.

Speaker 1 26:18

No, there's no way. There's no fucking way, dude.

Speaker 2 26:23

I feel like the first turnaround jump shot would be kind of twisted, that torn Achilles.

Speaker 1 26:28

That's it I'm trying to find, like that's Kevin.

Speaker 2 26:39

And he spins in the paint.

Speaker 1 26:44

Fade away, fade away, and here comes Aubrey onto the court double zero checking in.

Speaker 5 26:55

I can't even say anything to this too either. The body's fragile now, but back in the day, ladies and gentlemen, aubrey walking through. Polk High has scored four touchdowns.

Speaker 2 27:10

Just coming into the arena we're going to take you through a day of Kevin Aubrey Getting out of bed Finishing his first cup of coffee.

Speaker 5 27:29

Walking the dog I can't even say anything either. I get hurt doing the laundry, you know that's fine. I can't say anything. I got nothing you fucks. Fuck you, you fucks.

Speaker 4 28:15

Oh, oh great oh good, just come over here, kevin, team up with me. We'll fucking take the world down together, hi.

Speaker 1 28:44

Oh my God, that's fucking good shit right there, dude, like that's some good shit. Oh my god, that's fucking good shit right there. That's some good shit. Let's be honest what other crazy stuff Did we want to talk about?

Speaker 2 28:56

There's a couple things you want to get off your chest.

Speaker 5 28:59

Yeah, so remember the TID Fucking, what we call it? The TID sound off, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got a special one for a certain group of people. Remember the TID fucking what do we call it? The TID sound off, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got a special one for a certain group of people. Do tell so do you need? I'm sure you've seen one before.

Speaker 2 29:16

Maybe a little breaking news.

Speaker 5 29:18

No, I don't know if it's breaking news.

Speaker 1 29:20

Yeah, we can do breaking news.

Speaker 5 29:23

No.

Speaker 1 29:24

What do you news?

Speaker 4 29:25

No, do you want to do it? Shut up, bitch Let the boy watch.

Speaker 3 29:35

There you go, there you go.

Speaker 1 29:39

All right, we have. I like this board much better. It works so much better. We have breaking news.

Speaker 2 29:46

We're bringing back the TID sound off.

Speaker 1 29:50

Yeah, TID sound off. So if there's a individual, if there's a product, person, group, anything out there that you feel is. Population oh whoa, we're going West Coast. What are You're going West Coast? What are you going here, west Coast?

Speaker 5 30:07

Well, this particular person could be Person or group Well, both. Really. There's a certain amount of people out there that you go into a gas station, right you know you may be getting like 20 bucks on pump three Grabbing a quick gummy Pack, Grabbing a quick gummy Pack of smokes, or a quick gummy. But, Eight bucks, but the guy in front of you is ordering like $400 worth of tickets, a lot of tickets.

Speaker 1 30:36

Right, like that guy.

Speaker 5 30:38

That fucking guy, that guy could take a deep man.

Speaker 2 30:42

Yeah, dude, fuck that guy. And he's not doing quick picks either, is he?

Speaker 5 30:47

No, no, it's like the fucking midday, you know no.

Speaker 2 30:51

Give me 037. They're worse. Yeah, they're worse. 037 box when it's in the.

Speaker 7 30:56

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:57

Can I get a? Let's go. We're going to go 1736 Dollar street dollar box. We're going to do $0.50 midday and yeah.

Speaker 5 31:06

And he looks behind him and it's me holding like a fucking Pepsi. You know, Just a Pepsi.

Speaker 1 31:14

It's worse in the morning. It's that. Yeah, dude, it's that and it's worse in the morning too. Just one minute, man All right, give me one, two, three, five. We're going to go dollar street, dollar box, morning, midday, afternoon, nighttime. Do you tell them hey, trump, I like your investing strategy, yeah, but not for nothing, though, if you bet a few bucks on, like the, but those people, man, those people are, they have their own envelopes, their little plastic envelopes.

Speaker 5 31:46

Yeah, like there's just a certain level about those people that just I don't know man, I want to kill them more than cyclists. What Whoa? Like cyclists on the road. Oh, this is getting Like they keep talking. Let the boy watch. You ever run into a cyclist Not with my car, yeah, where you're going with this. I want to run into one, like anybody out there listening that rides a fucking bike on the road. Go fuck yourselves. I'm listening, kevin, because you're just fucking up the system. I'm with you. You know there's bike trails.

Speaker 4 32:25

Go find them, yeah, or else you're all going to get fucking run over.

Speaker 5 32:32

Fucking helmets and Lance Armstrong jerks.

Speaker 2 32:52

We're going to be driving's voice out this episode.

Speaker 1 32:54

Yeah, it's going to be totally gone, but All right.

Speaker 2 32:58

Yeah, all right, so you just risked cancer on everyone who plays Lotto midday and your running bicycle is over with your truck. Yeah, that's where I Any other groups you want to take out while we're going.

Speaker 5 33:12

No, no, just those two for now. They're really at the top of the list.

Speaker 2 33:17

It's one at a time.

Speaker 1 33:21

So what's going on with Diddy?

Speaker 5 33:23

Diddy, I don't know Anything. Did he do it?

Speaker 1 33:25

I've kind of I told you it was going to disappear. That's it.

Speaker 5 33:28

There's nothing going on now Haven't heard much, Nothing Of anything lately right.

Speaker 2 33:32

Awful quiet on that front.

Speaker 1 33:34

That is weird. Right, it's not weird. I'm telling you You're not going to hear anything say about it. Oh, dude, thanks for reminding us. We watched. I love Don't get me wrong, I love Cat Williams. We watched his live thing last night.

Speaker 2 33:49

I'm not a big Cat Williams fan Never was.

Speaker 5 33:52

Dude, he's not funny. Oh yeah, he's. It was terrible, this fucking Netflix live thing.

Speaker 2 33:58

Some rough shit. Did he look like Tyrone Biggums and he was scratching and shit? No, no.

Speaker 5 34:03

No, turned it off in about 15 minutes. It was so bad. This is just not funny, yikes. It was just a lot of hype.

Speaker 1 34:16

Like the Mets. I agree with you on that. Come on, I'm not going to fucking admit to Mets. Sorry, that was a dig I deal with it.

Speaker 2 34:26

You're not going to crawl under a rock and hide.

Speaker 1 34:30

For what? I don't know, because I'm a Mets fan, just in general. No man, I'm riding the wave right now with the Knicks and Rangers. I don't have to worry about baseball. That's a fair point. So by the time the playoffs are over for those two, mets will be out of it.

Speaker 2 34:44

So I know early Speaking about not worrying about baseball. How many hits you got so far? Zero, Really.

Speaker 1 34:49

Yeah, having a horrible season. Oh, can't hit a lick.

Speaker 2 34:55

Yeah, I think the umpires, have it for me. Did you make it out of game two without spiking yourself at second base when, yeah what, you had a rough game one, I heard.

Speaker 1 35:08

Game one was horrible. Don't even want to talk about that one. Okay, we'll move on. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. I broke my bat and my helmet. Oh Uh-huh.

Food, TikTok, and Simulation Theories

Speaker 2 35:18

Yep, did you break your helmet or did you break a team helmet, my helmet?

Speaker 1 35:22

Okay, Somebody put it back into the team bag and they saw it this week. I'm like what the fuck is this doing in there? Aren't you on the team? I?

Speaker 5 35:28

am, you don't go to games.

Speaker 2 35:30

It's a little too cold out. Still, I like to wait. It's like a turtle yeah.

Speaker 1 35:33

Oh, like a big fat turtle Looking to spawn on a rock. Why do I have to be a big fat turtle?

Speaker 2 35:45

Looking to spawn on a rock. Why do you have?

Speaker 5 35:46

to be a big fat turtle A turtle is good enough. Man Like big fat.

Speaker 1 35:52

Big shelled turtle. What do you want me to say?

Speaker 5 35:56

There's a lot of fat on a turtle either. A lot of meat Low body fat. Low body fat.

Speaker 1 36:07

Oh, the more and more I go through, I really think we're in some type of simulation or some fake shit going on Matrix. You think it's?

Speaker 5 36:17

the.

Speaker 1 36:18

Matrix. It's just more and more shit, dude, you know. A lot of stuff has been explained in the past few days to me.

Speaker 5 36:31

Really yeah, just well, you know watching videos on Tik TOK while you can yeah. Cause, uh, before that before that's banned Cause the only thing in the world has ever come together is to be like hey, you can't go to Antarctica and Tik TOK's bad for people, you know like TikTok's, bad for people.

Speaker 1 36:47

You know, like that's the only two things ever. Well, now, what's the? What is the reason for the ban?

Speaker 2 36:51

Of TikTok yeah, aside the fact that it's Chinese-owned and they're collecting individual data.

Speaker 1 37:01

Whatever?

Speaker 2 37:03

As if they're not doing it already. Yeah, Like, do you want?

Speaker 5 37:05

like the real answer, or do you want like the what they're not doing it already? Yeah, like. Do you want like the real answer, or do you want like the the what they're justifying their reasons to be?

Speaker 2 37:11

laid out there Neo.

Speaker 5 37:13

I want the answer That'll get us that Okay, um, cause they they don't want um a way for people to have information just like broadcasted to them. They want to have control over what people see and hear. That's why they want it banned. Well, aren't they? Aren't they technically?

Speaker 2 37:36

doing that already. Yeah, it's like in in china with tiktok, isn't it? Like you know, all inspirational and educational shit, yeah, yeah and we get.

Speaker 5 37:46

We get all sorts of garbage, but hey. I like the garbage. Like I've made so many things off the tick tock, I'm like I could make that shit. You know what was your favorite thing you made off of tick tock? Oh, probably the, the French onion mac and cheese. Oh, made off of tiktok? Oh, uh, probably the the french onion mac and cheese. Oh, did you get on that, or no? No, I didn't. That was good, it was really good.

Speaker 5 38:15

Um, and without that, you know like that's right, you know, I would have never have experienced it, man. Thank god the Chinese made me cook, that you know. They took control of my mind and made me do that. They indoctrinated me into making mac and cheese.

Speaker 2 38:35

Did you eat it with chopsticks?

Speaker 5 38:37

No, no, they Americanized it. They used utensils.

Speaker 2 38:41

I'm not talking about them.

Speaker 5 38:42

I'm talking about you? No, I did not.

Speaker 2 38:46

That's right, Johnny. One gummy and Willis Reed lived back on the court. Here we are.

Conspiracies, OJ Simpson, and Retards

Speaker 1 38:54

Yeah, I was just. I think my brain was just melting there for the past 15 seconds. I was trying to get something into the conversation. I'm like, oh, You're coming back to wave two. Whatever it is, it's like the fifth wave. It's like that movie the Fifth.

Speaker 2 39:08

Wave. I think you should finish whatever's left of that right now, no way, I will diarrhea myself. Are you starting a new job tomorrow?

Speaker 1 39:18

No, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Actually, I was just told I got the day off tomorrow.

Speaker 2 39:24

Where is that gummy?

Speaker 1 39:25

Wait tomorrow, I'm no, no, no, no, Actually I was just told I got the day off tomorrow, so when is that gummy?

Speaker 5 39:28

so Wait, tomorrow I'm off then I was saying you want me to eat the rest and see what happens.

Speaker 1 39:33

No, because you don't feel shit.

Speaker 5 39:35

Well, that's what I'm saying. We could put it to the ultimate test, you know.

Speaker 2 39:40

Sure, you want to try that. I mean, we should have did that like a half hour ago, it's only 10 o'clock.

Speaker 5 39:45

How long did it take to make you?

Speaker 7 39:49

what you were.

Speaker 5 39:52

Like I don't even got a word for what happened before man. I always tell him that I'm like bro, you can't leave.

Speaker 3 40:00

Dude if he dies.

Speaker 5 40:01

I ain't doing this alone.

Speaker 1 40:02

You're giving him mouth to mouth.

Speaker 2 40:04

No, we're not.

Speaker 5 40:07

Yes, you are Like Scout. Go see what's up over there.

Speaker 4 40:14

Hey, matty, just stick your tongue in his mouth. Ha, ha, ha, ha ha.

Speaker 2 40:22

We're gonna be over there face-fucking your dick, Matty. Yeah, take that.

Speaker 4 40:26

Take that this is me Gunner.

Speaker 2 40:37

And God would bring you back. Just so you have to realize you had gulping in your mouth.

Speaker 1 40:41

What the fuck is this. Oh my god, now, what the fuck is this? Oh God, that's the world we live in now.

Speaker 2 40:52

So you think you and Kevin should split the rest of that gummy right now?

Speaker 1 40:56

I don't want to do that again.

Speaker 2 40:58

Perhaps I'll be him face fucking you.

Speaker 1 41:00

I'm telling you, dude, the second you taste it, you're going to be like not a good idea, Just not a good one. Kind of the second you taste it, you're going to be like not a good idea, Just not a good one Right, kind of like when you taste poison, you're like Should not have ingested that.

Speaker 2 41:13

Uh-oh antidote.

Speaker 1 41:14

You know One coming and I'm a flat earther. No, john, no, not one, I just flat earther. No, john, no, not one, I just Quarter. Yeah, there's a little baby bite Took one sixteenth of the gummy Okay, I'm a flat earther. The fucking Apollo ship didn't fucking land. There was no moon landing and Well there wasn't, well, there wasn't. Then I see this video on Kardashian right after OJ was. Well, right during when OJ was getting arrested, did she pull the?

Speaker 2 41:57

bloody knife out of her vagina?

Speaker 1 41:59

No it was the luggage that came with OJ that they didn't take into evidence, that some way somehow snuck over to Kardashian and they showed this video oh yeah, yeah, the Louis Vuitton or whatever the hell it is Yep the Louis Vuitton garment? Bag that disappeared. What was in that bag? Evidence Evidence I mean, if they didn't, I mean the bodies Evidence, because that was a big bag, it was a garment bag, it was a big, yeah, uh, maybe his bloody shit probably yeah, the other glove.

Speaker 5 42:37

Well, the first one didn't fit him right hello, that glove didn't fit him. Everybody saw that the br, the Bruno Mali right.

Speaker 1 42:45

When he's like this. Meanwhile, he suffers from severe arthritis, which is exactly what happens with this hand. If I try to put a glove on, I can't get it on. What do you mean? What do you mean?

Speaker 5 42:58

I've been drinking hot water all morning, stop it. Dude he was acquitted in a court of law. I think it's unfair that we're treating him like this. God rest his soul.

Speaker 2 43:14

I'm tired of hearing it already, but I'd love for God to chime in on that.

Speaker 4 43:21

Let's be honest. I had a talk with OJ the Juice, I like to call him. I said just do it, just cut her fucking throat, get it over with Wow. Oh, this is supposed to be God, hey.

Speaker 1 43:42

OJ go. Long After I said that, lo and behold, he's running away in the Bronco. What was that? That was in what 94? Yeah, when was the ruling?

Speaker 5 44:01

Dude it was. I think there was like a Like one of the ranger games. I think it was 90. I think there was like a Like one of the Ranger games.

Speaker 2 44:07

I think it was 90. I think it was 95. I think it was 94.

Speaker 1 44:11

It was a 94, and then the ruling was a what? 95, 96.

Speaker 5 44:15

Because I think they like broadcasted the results at like.

Speaker 1 44:20

I was in middle school when it came out. I remember that.

Speaker 2 44:23

Someone brought a portable TV to my job. They did the verdict midday. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 44:32

I think it was 94. 94 is when it happened.

Speaker 5 44:36

Yeah, I would think the same calendar year maybe.

Speaker 1 44:41

No, I think it was 95.

Speaker 2 44:44

No, the verdict was definitely 95 because I was in an office in New Jersey, might be 96 because it was in.

Speaker 5 44:54

Or maybe it was in the Nick playoff game.

Speaker 1 44:56

Yeah, it was in the Nick playoff game.

Speaker 2 44:59

Because Nick playoff game got interrupted because I actually remember the night that he did the, the killing, the Bronco chase With Ron Al Cowlings. Ron Jeremy, what? Oh, yes, sorry.

Speaker 1 45:16

I'm confused. I mean his fava beans.

Speaker 2 45:19

Bubba Joe checked in with the verdict 1995.

Speaker 1 45:22

So anytime we need any information answered, joe I am sure, sure will tell us, because he knows everything and we're retards.

Speaker 5 45:30

Love that man we need to make him an offer yeah, we're full retarded son apology episode next weekend it's retarded American

Speaker 4 45:41

yeah, everybody's fucking retarded.

Speaker 1 45:51

Sounds better with that voice anyways.

Speaker 2 45:55

Can we just splice out Billy and just add that in.

Speaker 1 46:01

Actually, I could probably dub in. I can dub that in in the 100th episode You're talking about.

Speaker 5 46:05

Yeah, I could probably do that Into everything, entire episode, the entire show.

Speaker 1 46:09

Yes, that'd be hilarious joe, joe knew not to come smart very smart way to talk to that water heater, joe yeah, my water heater went, yeah, yeah, see, good move, jo, you're lucky.

Speaker 2 46:28

You didn't have to deal with that. Dodged a fucking bullet that night.

Speaker 1 46:32

Oh God, now do you believe? Like, how do you think the world's going to end? What's like, what would be, what would be an easier way of the world to end World War III? Asteroid alien invasion. I hope I'm long dead before that happens.

Speaker 2 46:53

So one thing I don't have to deal with.

Speaker 1 46:55

I don't think you're going to be dead, Kevin. What's the name of the asteroid that is heading for Earth?

Speaker 2 47:04

Oh, another one of these. So is that why Bruce Willis stopped acting?

Speaker 5 47:10

the train, so it's called a Poffice.

Speaker 1 47:14

And what's a? What's the the?

Speaker 5 47:17

definition of a Poffice. So a Poffice, I believe, is like the Roman Greek, like God of, like death and destruction, or something like that.

Speaker 1 47:27

Okay, now what's is it? To? What year is this asteroid supposed to be coming? Very close to the. Earth Okay.

Speaker 5 47:35

Okay, so it's at its closest approach, which is April 13th 2029, which is a Friday. Um, it's, uh, it's going to, is it?

Speaker 2 47:52

wearing a hockey mask too, Like it's it's actually has a fucking hatchet.

Speaker 5 47:56

It's, it's projected orbit. It's going to like be like underneath our communication satellites, like that's how close it will be. It's like the size of the Rose bowl. Okay, so satellites like.

Speaker 2 48:08

That's how close it'll be. It's like the size of the rose bowl okay stadium.

Speaker 5 48:09

So so it's saying it's gonna hit us, or is it just no, no?

Speaker 1 48:11

no, no, no.

Speaker 5 48:11

Here's the, here's the key aspects it's going to pass very close to us right um, and if, like it, like they don't know for sure yet where exactly it's going to cross, but if it goes through what's called a keyhole, where its orbit would take it through this little, very specific spot, then in like seven years after that it's in our orbit, it will come back and hit us.

Speaker 2 48:38

Oh, so it's going to cruise by in 29. Yeah, not going to hit us in 29. But maybe seven years after that If it goes through the keel, if it goes through the spot.

Speaker 1 48:52

That is the next big smoke and mirror.

Speaker 2 48:56

Yeah, fuck the figures Right around the time. I want to fucking retire. God damn it.

Speaker 1 49:00

God fucking damn it. See, that's what I'm saying, there's a reason for it. But like, oh man, see that's what I'm saying, there's a reason for it. But like oh man, now you gotta, this shit's gonna be close. That you can see with the naked eye.

Speaker 4 49:14

Did you say naked?

Speaker 1 49:16

Eye Naked Naked eye. Did I say naked eye? Did you say naked?

Speaker 2 49:21

N-E-K-E-D. Naked what Naked?

Speaker 1 49:25

N-E-K-E-D Naked.

Speaker 5 49:26

What Naked N-E-K-E-D? It's like mozzarella. You know it's naked. Butt naked. What Naked you?

Speaker 3 49:37

sound like Ben Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity. Let's have sex, yes.

Speaker 5 49:42

With his accent.

Speaker 2 49:44

Naked I said, naked I said naked.

Speaker 1 49:48

I said Let the boy watch. Yes, I mean, that's probably my biggest fear as a human being Is getting knocked off by an asteroid, because it's happened before.

Speaker 2 50:00

How do you know?

Speaker 5 50:02

This is true. Was it really dinosaurs then? I mean not for nothing.

Speaker 1 50:04

But according to all the fucking stuff, this is true. Well, there's also Was it really dinosaurs?

Speaker 2 50:06

now, I mean not for nothing, but according to all the fucking stuff that the two fucking rabbit hole guys over here to my left keep bringing up, what it's all fucking made up bullshit. Smoking mirrors, bro. It's all made up bullshit. Everything that we were taught, everything that we brought up learning about nothing.

Speaker 1 50:26

Good morning, good afternoon and good night. Yeah, Truman Show, dude, what's that?

Speaker 2 50:33

Certainly what it feels like.

Speaker 5 50:35

That's what it feels like for me every day. Why are you so anti-rabbit hole?

Speaker 2 50:41

I'm a big believer in ignorance is bliss, and the more that I learn about certain things. This has been true in the working world forever. You always want to work your way up and you want to be the important guy. You want to see how it all works from behind the scenes. No, you don't, because it sucks. It fucking sucks. It's like the Wizard of Oz. Oh my God, pull the curtain back. There's a little fucking midget back here fucking pulling strings.

Speaker 1 51:08

What the fuck it's Matt pulling strings.

Speaker 2 51:12

And then the god voice comes on. What the fuck you, big idiot.

Speaker 4 51:19

Can't believe you thought this was real.

Speaker 2 51:23

And it just proves true and true Every fucking time. The more you find, the more you find out, the more it's old bullshit. It's a that's agitating to me. It is. Anyway, you fucking guys could take it deep fucking rabbit hole rabbit hole.

Speaker 3 52:00

Us rabbit holders aren't doing too bad lately. No, why? What is come?

Speaker 5 52:03

true lately, like a new one that came true. Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't prepared for this question. Do you have an answer Like do you know?

Speaker 1 52:13

No, I have no idea. That's why I'm asking. I don't know, because I saw something on Twitter again, another QAnon thing, okay.

Speaker 2 52:24

These fucking guys, the storm is coming. The day is here. Did they just repost that from seven years ago, hi?

Speaker 1 52:33

It's May QAnon. Hi, I'm back.

Speaker 2 52:38

It's May again. I just finished eating the moon, or did I? It was cheese. It was delicious, with some super sour.

Speaker 3 52:50

It's like a big cream puff.

Speaker 2 52:56

That's the glory hole talking again.

Speaker 1 52:59

Everything's fake. Don't trust a word. Anybody says Except me, harry Carey. Just a word anybody says Aye, except?

Speaker 2 53:09

me, Harry Carey.

Speaker 1 53:12

He's the most trustworthy man on the planet, as far as I'm concerned. Totally convincing, does he? Still live, no, no.

Speaker 5 53:16

No, he doesn't. Yeah, he's been dead for fucking years.

Speaker 2 53:21

He looked dead. In the last three years he was in the booth Fucked up hairdo and Coke bottle glasses. Saying take me out in a ball game.

Speaker 1 53:28

Take me out to the.

Speaker 3 53:29

Outhouse.

Speaker 1 53:30

Hey Gotta go pee.

Speaker 5 53:35

I gotta pee.

Speaker 1 53:37

I do, dude, you're an old man when it comes to the fucking show, chief Little Bladder.

Speaker 5 53:44

I've had like five Pepsi's.

Speaker 2 53:45

It's like you're for a scum Chief, Little Bladder. Never man I've had like five Pepsis. It's like you're for a scum.

Speaker 1 53:53

I gotta go to the bathroom. I gotta pee.

Speaker 5 54:03

I drank like 12.

Speaker 1 54:04

Dr Peppers, I'll make of you that it's not open. Just think of a waterfall Wow, I'm just making you laugh. It's not helping.

Speaker 5 54:09

Just think of a waterfall Wow, I'm just saying no, dude, I was trying to help you Through your little episode upstairs. You could at least like Help me out there.

Speaker 1 54:16

Yeah, go ahead. I mean you can go. Why would I like you know? I don't understand why you're freaking out. What.

Speaker 3 54:34

What the fuck.

Speaker 1 54:37

What is going?

Speaker 2 54:37

on with him. This man's gotta pee oh.

Speaker 1 54:42

I just don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Speaker 2 54:44

I mean not for nothing, but I've had to pee since I got here.

Speaker 1 54:48

I peed myself when I was in fucking the living room, you know.

Speaker 2 54:52

Yeah, we were debating whether we were going to wrap it in plastic.

Speaker 1 54:57

I just kept on sitting there. I'm like I really want to lay back right now, but I don't want to fall asleep in the room spinning so bad.

Speaker 2 55:07

I would have lost money tonight. I thought for sure. I thought for sure, you were going.

Speaker 1 55:11

No, it was like uh, what is that Narcan? The shit they give to fucking heroin addicts. That's exactly what it was like. I got up and I was like more cowbell Boom let's do it. So, I had spoken to Chris today and I was trying to try and get him on today, but today was his son's birthday. He doesn't want to do a phone call, he wants to come in live.

Speaker 1 55:40

I think that makes a lot of sense so I was like so we're going to perform a little, and you know, we got to figure out these fucking cameras and microphones again.

Speaker 2 55:48

Nope.

Speaker 1 55:51

I think we have that all Figured out.

Speaker 2 55:53

We're just going to throw Wobbs out for that one and let him sit in his chair.

Speaker 1 56:00

No, I think Go take a long piss. We'll have them on either side, whatever, no more than four people.

Speaker 2 56:08

No, we have four we can handle. Yeah, we have another one of these. Yes, yep, so Alright, maybe we'll set that up on the other side. We just got room.

Speaker 1 56:20

We got two cameras. We put one there and one there. That's it, nice and easy. Okay, we try to make things so difficult. I don't know why I say we. It's me.

Speaker 2 56:30

It's me. Next Sunday's Mother's Day, we're going to be able to Fuck the mothers.

Speaker 1 56:38

I'm sorry. I love the mothers out there.

Speaker 4 56:44

Fuck Mother's Day, god. The only day that should matter is Father's Day. Even if it's bullshit holiday, it's bullshit yeah.

Speaker 2 56:57

Bullshit. All right, I guess I'll do an early dinner that night.

Speaker 5 57:05

Oh shit, is that next weekend? That's next Sunday. Yeah, oh fuck, you would have forgotten. Like it's fucked up. I gotta feel like that. Oh fuck, why, I don't know. Seems like you gotta do something.

Speaker 2 57:16

Why do you celebrate Mother's Day?

Speaker 5 57:19

I acknowledge it.

Speaker 3 57:20

Okay.

Speaker 5 57:21

No, it's not really like there's no cake, you know.

Speaker 1 57:27

I would hope not.

Speaker 2 57:28

You bringing a cake that's been down here for 18 months upstairs. It's still fucking here, isn't it? Oh?

Speaker 1 57:32

my God, I'm afraid to look at that, the one in the box that I opened. Yes, I'm not going to lie, it looks in pristine condition. You almost ate it. No, I did not, there was so much. When I saw it, I was like when I saw it, I was like dude, you buy gas station gubbies.

Speaker 5 57:49

You almost ate that cake. No, I did not. So much fondant on that cake.

Speaker 1 57:52

I literally look at it and I'm like, oh my god, I remember when this cake was from. I'm like there's not a fucking.

Speaker 2 57:59

The only thing holding that together is the mold. There's no mold? Well, not on the fondant.

Speaker 5 58:09

But underneath there I'd be a little worried. Scary shit, dude.

Speaker 1 58:13

Dude, it's pretty sterile down here. It's like a time machine down here.

Speaker 6 58:17

Sterile you say, everything's frozen in time, including food.

Speaker 1 58:20

It's crazy. I don't get how it works. Down here, dude, it's a different universe. Well, you works down here, dude.

Speaker 5 58:27

It's a different universe. Well, you slept down here last night.

Speaker 1 58:32

Yeah, because I was so tired last night, dude, I literally walked down here, I walk over to the other side, turn the light on to see where the couch is, put the cushions on the couch, grab a blanket and two pillows, fell asleep and I was out like a light and it was so comfortable dude, I heard you snore down here no, not in here, out there, that's what.

Speaker 2 58:57

I'm saying downstairs, like in the basement, with the flowers dude, he went head to head with the spheres.

Speaker 5 59:04

Yeah, it was peaceful, it was very peaceful?

Hilarious Banter and Random Musings

Speaker 1 59:05

I'm not. Yeah, it was peaceful. It was very peaceful, and I'm not even joking, it was a very peaceful sleep.

Speaker 5 59:11

Dude, I was watching TV and like a fucking like, what did you throw at me last night? The lobster, the dog, toy Dude, he's fucking snoring. I can't help it, I couldn't believe man, I just couldn't take it anymore. I just fucking threw the dog toy at him. You know, it just happened to be the lobster.

Speaker 2 59:30

Oscar Madison, felix, leiter, felix.

Speaker 5 59:32

Leiter, oscar Madison. Then it hits him and he's actually like nothing happened.

Speaker 2 59:37

He's like what I was up.

Speaker 5 59:38

I was up.

Speaker 2 59:39

I was watching.

Speaker 5 59:39

TV and shit.

Speaker 1 59:40

Trying to fight, to keep my eyes open oh I know why there was something thrown at me.

Speaker 2 59:44

I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 59:50

Why did you come down here? Because I came down at like 2 o'clock to let the dogs out. You were still on the couch, probably like 3.30. And I was thinking, like man, he's not going to like it when we get up at fucking like three hours from now, fucking steam rolling down the stairs, four dogs just spitting.

Speaker 4 1:00:12

Good morning, it's me, kevin.

Speaker 1 1:00:18

Some fucking with a herd of dogs. That was him before his first couple of calls yeah the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Speaker 5 1:00:25

Yeah, totally dude.

Speaker 3 1:00:30

It's the four horsemen of the apocalypse, yeah totally dude.

Speaker 5 1:00:34

That's every morning. Gunner's the pale white horse, yeah he's death, bro, that fucking guy.

Speaker 1 1:00:40

He's death.

Speaker 2 1:00:41

That fucking guy.

Speaker 1 1:00:44

He's fucking just straight up meth. No, that's not death, that's meth. We'll just call him the meth horseman. Yeah, the meth in the Bible. How long have we been going there? Patrick, just hit an hour. Yeah, we did. Yeah, look at us.

Speaker 2 1:01:03

I think that's pretty impressive, considering where this started off.

Speaker 5 1:01:07

Is it true? I agree, Dude. You went from the version of being passed out on the bar room bathroom floor.

Speaker 1 1:01:15

I almost look like Jodie Foster in that movie.

Speaker 5 1:01:17

Then you went to like passing the fucking pinball machine, passing the test at the checkpoint, like that's what you went from. You went from passed out in the bathroom to pass and tested.

Speaker 1 1:01:28

I'm a gamer bro.

Speaker 2 1:01:29

Impressive. I mean Kevin only had to pee once over the hour. I'm impressed there as well.

Speaker 5 1:01:35

Snuck in a cigarette too, oh you fucking cocksucker.

Speaker 2 1:01:40

When are you allowed to smoke down here again?

Speaker 5 1:01:42

No no.

Speaker 1 1:01:45

Oh. I had my thing on me the whole time.

Speaker 2 1:01:47

It's funny. That's where you're putting it hard. You're putting a hard stop.

Speaker 5 1:01:54

Did you get that at a gas?

Speaker 1 1:01:56

station Some smoke shot.

Speaker 2 1:02:00

It's good, is that your LSD one hitter?

Speaker 3 1:02:05

It's not good.

Speaker 5 1:02:07

You're really good at that.

Speaker 1 1:02:09

Shut up, you shut your mouth, you fucking dirty mouth.

Speaker 3 1:02:16

All right, that's it for me.

Speaker 1 1:02:20

Fuck you.

Speaker 5 1:02:20

Kevin, oh, where's your little button?

Speaker 1 1:02:24

What do you want to do, oh?

Speaker 5 1:02:27

Well, you didn't have your button in your holster, did you?

Speaker 2 1:02:34

You can't play it now. You missed it, it'll be hit six times. Shut up bitch.

Speaker 5 1:02:48

It says it, it makes you so happy.

Speaker 1 1:02:51

It makes him so happy, I know, but it says it. It's just where it is. I have to read it. This whole fucking thing is amazing. The whole display and shit. It's awesome and everybody can hear the fucking board now.

Speaker 2 1:03:05

That's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 5 1:03:06

It only took what a year. Awesome, and everybody can hear the fucking board. Now that's a beautiful thing, right? Yeah, it only took what a year well, now it's.

Speaker 1 1:03:12

It was just like it was really a board, right, yeah, but then like you're able to assign each channel to certain things and it made it easier just to choose whatnot so we're figuring it out.

Speaker 2 1:03:26

I like it. It looks fancy.

Speaker 1 1:03:28

It does look fancy this was the way to go. No wooden block anymore. I was like when I saw it. I was like this motherfucker screwed this shit in next thing, I was like, oh, it's just fucking just painted on. I was so happy about that, dude. I was so happy about that Ghetto stand, dude, I was so happy about that. It stuck well, just being painted on. That's Kevin cutting corners. That's one of our new bits, kevin cutting corners. But it got the job done and that's his motto. It's.

Speaker 2 1:04:01

Kevin rigged.

Speaker 1 1:04:04

Well, it got the job done and that's it. Scotch tape and some fucking painters tape, boom, give that man a screw gun waiting, anything work, oh Boy. What's that all about?

Speaker 5 1:04:24

Look like it needed to be finished. All about it. Looked like it needed to be finished. Talking trash to me, was it really?

Speaker 1 1:04:32

talking to you a little bit.

Speaker 4 1:04:34

Yeah, that's just happening, you guys. No, kevin, come over here and put me in your mouth.

Speaker 3 1:04:41

God doesn't laugh bro. Yeah, I do.

Speaker 5 1:04:50

God doesn't laugh. Man Just put me in your mouth.

Speaker 4 1:04:56

I giggle, I laugh all the time. No Laugh at all you minions down there. I'm up here in my floating cloud With my God-sized dick. There it is.

Speaker 2 1:05:19

And we're having a show.

Speaker 1 1:05:27

Mr Manhattan can have one, why can't I Doctor, doctor, manhattan, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 1:05:36

He didn't go to eight years of superhero school. Okay.

Speaker 1 1:05:46

Who the fuck went to eight years of superhero school.

Speaker 5 1:05:49

Well, if you did, you wouldn't want to be called mister, would you?

Speaker 3 1:05:52

No, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:05:56

Got to earn your cape, do you remember? On fucking Watchmen.

Speaker 5 1:06:00

He's walking around. Yeah, man, yeah, big blue dick swinging Right, big cartoon dick. Whipping around, She'd be like what the fuck is this Like just a little too close to realistic? Yeah, it's still a cartoon. You're like meh Check please.

Speaker 1 1:06:16

Why would they do that? It's like a. You think he did that on purpose. As a superhero, he's like I'm going to swing my dick and show everybody how superior I am well and it glows.

Speaker 5 1:06:28

Dude, if you got a big glowing superhero dick, you let that thing go. Throw that right on my shoulder. You show the world it closed, constantly right but I like my superhero dick, watch it glow. There's that dick again. Yeah, fucking laser beams. These are beams out of your dick. Hmm, dude, you're a superhero, you got your dick rolling around.

Speaker 2 1:06:57

Yeah, of course got laser, you know, like laser beams cuz son huh, we are barreling down the road.

Speaker 1 1:07:02

Yeah, turkey again. Seriously, I don't want to beams. I think you're killing people With your dick, with my dick.

Speaker 2 1:07:13

No, alright we're gonna end it there. We're gonna end it on dick.

Speaker 3 1:07:18

Kill all sorts of shit with my superhero dick.

Speaker 1 1:07:23

What did you just say?

Speaker 2 1:07:24

I don't know, but that's a sound bite.

Speaker 1 1:07:27

What the fuck did you just say?

Speaker 3 1:07:28

I don't know but that's a sound bite. What the fuck did you just say?

Speaker 1 1:07:36

What did you just say? You're going to have to go back and listen. No, I don't want to Fuck. That means I don't have to listen to the whole episode. No, fuck, that means I gotta. Oh. No, I don't have to listen to the whole episode. No, you guys want to play with the, with the tambourine and the On the closeout song.

Speaker 5 1:07:54

Yeah, If that's where you want to go, I mean it depends on the song man.

Speaker 1 1:07:58

Well, we had it earlier, so I'm gonna throw it on now. Dude, I ain't just gonna cowbell for any song. Grab the cowbell, grab the tambourine, grab it.

Speaker 2 1:08:05

You're making it not. I'll be ready. No, you guys are ready.

Speaker 1 1:08:08

You're ready for this because you just heard.

Speaker 5 1:08:10

If I don't feel it, I don't feel it, here we go.

Speaker 1 1:08:12

You heard it before, but you didn't have the cowbell and he had the tambourine. You know what? Stop talking about it, and play it.

Speaker 2 1:08:30

Was it this one? No, it was not this one. Fuck what was it? Yeah, it was no, no.

Speaker 3 1:08:40

No, no, okay, bullshit.

Speaker 5 1:08:53

Pick a tempo bro.

Speaker 1 1:08:57

No, I thought it was fucking aerials when you started doing that. No, no, what song was it?

Speaker 2 1:09:08

Oh, it sounds like we got a fish.

Speaker 1 1:09:12

No, no, yeah, that was it. No, it wasn't.

Speaker 5 1:09:20

That was it, ready yeah.

Speaker 7 1:09:22

We're rolling suicide what we do in life.

Speaker 6 1:10:04

Echoes in eternity.

Speaker 1 1:10:24

Thank you for joining us this episode of the Tiki Deep Show Gas, heat and gummy Coming at you, God bless.

Speaker 3 1:10:33

See you next time. T-t-t-t-deep. Thanks for watching.