The Take It Deep Show
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The Take It Deep Show
Dating in Your 40s: Less Terrifying Than a 12-Mile Wide Space Object
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What happens when cosmic threats and dating disasters collide? This week, Matt and Pat dive into the strange world of mysterious space objects and the equally perplexing landscape of modern dating apps.
The conversation kicks off with news of a 12-mile wide object hurtling toward Earth at light speed that has scientists puzzled after it mysteriously changed direction. Is it a comet, an alien spacecraft, or something else entirely? Adding to the cosmic intrigue, the hosts discuss a recently discovered radio signal from deep space that repeats at regular intervals every 22 minutes. Whether you're a believer in extraterrestrial life or a skeptic, the timing of these discoveries has the guys wondering if we're being prepared for first contact.
From outer space to personal space, Pat shares his adventures in the dating app universe as a newly single man in his 40s. His successful connection with Phyllis, a Turkish pharmacy owner with a captivating accent, stands in stark contrast to horror stories of matches who ghost after promising conversations and dates who can barely string together responses beyond "okay." The hosts break down the economics of dating apps, revealing the surprisingly high costs of premium features and the psychological tactics used to keep users swiping and paying.
Throughout their candid conversation, Matt and Pat offer practical advice for dating app users – stop with the excessive filters, be honest about who you are, and for heaven's sake, learn to carry a conversation. Whether you're worried about cosmic invasions or just trying to navigate the treacherous waters of modern romance, this episode delivers equal parts humor, insight, and the occasional profanity-laden truth bomb that might just save your love life before the aliens arrive.
What we do in life echoes in eternity.
Speaker 2:T-T-T-T-T.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So weird seeing two of us on that screen. It is weird. We got big news, apparently. I let Kevin have his smartphone in his room Because he's watching oh, down here in the fucking bunker. I love the bunker, I really do. Where's the maid? She hasn't been here in about two weeks. The maid hasn't been here in about three years. It's uh. We probably should clean it up one day. It's almost like a house that got hit by a hurricane or something. It's got the big axe on the outside waiting for people to come through. Although all the empty liquor bottles were removed yeah, of course that's removed, but not the cups that have the fucking fungus in it. Jesus Well, bring your cup upstairs. Oh, I thought we had somebody that does that. No, we're lucky. We get craft services every once in a while. This is true. This is true.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fine episode of the Take a Deep Show. You may be a little confused if you're looking at the screen right now. Only slightly, a little bit. So you have two large fat men and not one skinny Tom Hanks here from Philadelphia. Kevin has a drinking problem, so we've decided, we had a team meeting and we've sent him off to Santa Barbara. We had a small intervention and he's in AA because of his hijacking antics and we hope that he makes it back, unlike Tommy O who's still in a K-hole from four years ago With his Santa suit on. But you know, we gave Kevin the offer of being fired or going to AA and he made the right choice. We love you, kev. Oh, get well soon. How is he on the chat if he's in AA right now? I just don't get it. They let him have fucking. Look at this. Apparently they let him.
Speaker 2:I have no problem drinking. That's of course, kevin. You're going to say that when you're in AA, so you might want to sit down with your counselors. Counselors are going to rush your room and take your phone again. Actually, can we call them to confiscate his technology Because he should not have that in his room right now. Is it really technology?
Speaker 1:He probably says I don't know what Google is, first of all.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm wondering how he even knows what to do, burgess. What's going on? Buddy? The news, the news, breaking news. Orbs, Orbs. Tommy Oster's on Tommy O. Oh my god, this is a crazy event. You know what? Maybe you and I should just do the show together, because it seems like, I mean, it's an all-star cast. Right now, obs is in Santa Barbara at Joan Rivers fucking clinic. He agreed to AA and agreed to not hijack the show anymore, and we have a sighting like a comet Tommy Oster's in the chat. Tommy Oster finally made it out of the K-hole. How's your shmeet, tommy, doing? Well, we love you Great, kristen's wide hands.
Speaker 2:Oh, gripping that, oh come on Awesome, not right to that.
Speaker 1:Not right to that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so Ops is in AA. Hopefully he gets the treatment that he needs, because I'm tired of feeling like the Wesley Snipes in Passenger 57 and have to take care of the hijackers. Wow, you know, that was strong A little bit. I like that little reference.
Speaker 1:It's good too.
Speaker 2:I liked it. But good thing is, I received a gift today from Maddie and I don't know what it is yet. It's in a plastic bag. It looks like a jersey. I can't see shit in the dark. Dude, I know I was thinking you don't. Is this a Hooters jersey? Not a Hooters jersey? What do you think? Oh, it's nice material. What is this, dude? That is nice. Don't forget to look at it back. Shut the fuck up, dude. That is awesome. Bro Blanton, you're this made. I did, did. Why? What have I done nice to you To deserve this? I'm gonna cry, you're not wrong. I like this a lot, dude. This is a cool fucking material. What is this?
Speaker 2:We all have our drinking jerseys. Now We'll have to bust them out for a show. Well, kevin can't. He's got a Woodford one. Oh, he has to wear. I've been sober for a certain amount of days. That has a. I used to drink Woodford that has a grease board on it, so we can count how many days. Okay, excellent, do you know what, dude, I'm going to put this on right now? Excellent, I feel bad. I should have wore mine. What did you get? Like a tent? I got an Eagle Rare. Where did you get this? A tent. I got an eagle, rare Eagle, rare jersey. Where did you get this? I saw it on the internet. It reminds me of something Diddy would wear, I don't know why. If I ever see you coming anywhere near me With baby oil, we're fighting, alright, alright, okay, button's gonna fly over that and kill somebody. We're good, let's go.
Speaker 1:Look at this guy.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna wear this tomorrow during our game, wearing his drinking jersey. Let's go. This should be our fucking Our cornhole jerseys. We could do that. This is nice, bro. Tommy O asked if it's a 3XL. Did he ask that? He did. You know what, tom? Because you're thinning out. We could do that. This is nice, bro. Tommy O asked if it's a 3XL. Did he ask that? He did. You know what, tom? Because you're thinning out and you think you're above everybody else. So what if it's a 3XL? Is it a 3XL? It is not. I'm going to guess it's a 2. I don't know if I went 2. You went.
Speaker 1:XL. If this is an XL.
Speaker 2:I feel thinner.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Nice, good, but I am swole. What did you have? A lot of salt today. Bro, you're at the fucking Dutchess County Fair. You're eating everything you shouldn't be.
Speaker 2:I'm not touching anything up there, dude. After one meal I had up there and how much it costs, oh, is that bad. I had fucking three chicken fingers, fries and a soda. What's your guesstimate? 25. Very close $30. $30 for three chicken fingers, fries and a soda. Correct, were they fantastic chicken fingers? They were the fucking frozen chicken fingers you get at a pizza restaurant. Oh no, awful. Oh no, absolutely awful. And um, did you throw them back at the guy's face? No, but the fries were god awful, greasy, soggy, like Tommy's dick. Oh, and it was not good.
Speaker 2:Fat guy in a little coat, you know what, kevin, I hope you're there for more than your. And it was not good. Fat guy in a little coat, you know what, kevin, I hope you're there for more than your 90 days. That's allotted. Well, you know what? When you're in AA, they don't like to give you any medications or anything. I hope he's getting his AIDS cocktail. We don't want that to get any worse. We need to take care of those lesions you have pal. Okay, and then we'll send you a nice little single of a CD. You have a CD player out there. We'll send you the fucking song Philadelphia from fucking Bruce Springsteen, awful, is this thing still going? God, it sounds like a fucking jet engine is going off in my ear right now. Well, it's a very big computer. It has to stay cool. It shouldn't be going off all the time. I hear what you're saying. I don't think you can hear what's going on. Oh, I hear it. Let's shut this fan off, people. Well, let's not blow the computer up either.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's okay.
Speaker 2:It's all right, let's uh, I don't even know how to shut it off. Well, yeah, okay, let me guess you have a plan, but you're not going to follow through with it. Oh, I mean, come on, unless there's a dirt bike involved. If he can find himself a dirt bike over there, he'll ride that clear cross country. No, I don't even know how to shut this fucking up.
Speaker 1:Could you stop? I don't even know how to shut it.
Speaker 2:It sounds like I have the Maverick flying fucking F-16s by me. Well, tell them not to buzz the tower and just leave it be before you fuck the computer. Oh, that's why, there it is. I put it on quiet. There, it is All right, okay, all right, back to the show. We're back. We're back. So what's been going on in the world? Here's the one thing I saw on the news the other day. We're on a video, I think on tiktok is this object that's been coming towards the earth that got picked up on the web telescope really it's traveling in light speed.
Speaker 2:It's 12 miles wide. Did Kevin throw it into outer space? He has an app for that, I think. Okay, just like his earthquake app. But um, now here's the thing though it was traveling light speed in one direction, uh-huh Changed directions towards Earth and it's traveling in light speed again, as if it's steering towards us. It sounds like Guardians of the Galaxy is coming for Earth the size of Texas. Huh, 12 miles wide. 12 miles wide. What's crazy is they? When that was found? A few weeks ago, they discovered this radio signal that's coming from outer space and it goes off in five-minute intervals every 22 minutes. Are you now repeating the plot of Independence Day? It's dude decree. It's exactly like Independence Day. It's dude decree. It's exactly like Independence Day. I'm not even joking. I think Jeff Goldblum should fucking do something about this. Well, let's get him to fuck over there and figure this out. Jesus Christ over here. Where is Manuela fucking to clean up over here? Jesus Orbs, I think Pat's saying you need to hire someone to tidy up the house.
Speaker 1:No, we just put a wig on Obi. Oh, that's it, let's have him talk broken Spanish.
Speaker 2:Less will get done Por favor. But they don't know if it's a comet, nor do they know if it's an alien spacecraft. But where are you getting this information? Oh, it's all over the news, dude. Well, but which networks? Because you, I can't. I can't trust anything that anyone says on the news. Uh, so this is give me one second. This is from newscom. Oh, that must be reliable, reputable source right there. But it says a mystery object believed to be a spacecraft is hurtling towards Earth, reigniting speculation about extraterrestrial life.
Speaker 2:A mystery object coming towards Earth at breakneck speed. Breakneck speed, I would call it light speed if they wanted to. However, which way they want to go, so the scientists have called it 31 Atlas. Reason why 31,. It's the third object since 2019 that they've discovered that's coming towards earth. Oh, terrific. Uh, the number one is for one second. I know. I read it uh, yep, yep, um, huh, uh-huh. Has nasa urinating in their pants? Uh, no, because nasa's like, discovered this, fucking, this signal too.
Speaker 2:Or this guy from australia discovered this signal that's coming from to? How drunk was he? He was from australia, so he was probably hitting up some something. Yeah, with someone. Uh, fosters australian for beer, so he was probably drinking that. But he discovered it like mistakenly Because he was going, he was like reviewing stuff, that um signals that they were getting from the sky, and lo and behold, this thing got like overlooked and then he fucking gave the information to his mentor, some lady and she was reviewing it. Then the signal went away for like months. Then it came back because they were scanning the sky and shit, and now they found the spot where it's coming from. And it comes every 22 minutes at five minute intervals From this, from the space where it is Not from, it's not from this. Oh, that's what I'm saying, like what's going on? So I think we're going to have an invasion. Somebody call Russell Case. Who's Russell Case? Really? Why am I forgetting this From Independence Day? Which one's Russell?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Flew the jet into the thing. I'm back, good old fucking cousin fucking.
Speaker 1:Cousin Eddie yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, so this thing is projected, or estimated, to be 12 miles wide. It's whizzing through our solar system on a trajectory that will bring it within 170 million miles on December 19th. How far is? I mean, is that close technically, kind of it's not light years? No, so you figure, 170 million miles, what the moon? 250 000? Well, I don't know. We've never really been there this, so this is where he didn't. This is the funny part. So you say that, right, oh, boy, and the funny part is the signal, the signal's coming from the moon. No, so I guess they sent out this fucking, this thing out in outer space. It's 140 million miles away, right, right, they're receiving messages from that thing they sent out. I was like, wow, that's funny. So you're getting that from 140 million miles away, but yet you're saying that you can't send anybody to the moon because the communications are bad. You know what I mean. I do know what you mean.
Speaker 2:You know Avi Loeb? Oh, there, it is. The dude from. That's what did, uh, what it was. Avi Loeb oh, there, it is. The dude from uh, that's that's the name I remember Says it could be a ship. He has said it about what's that word? I can't say it. Jesus Christ, I can't even fucking read that. Kevin Numerous Um, amnu, amnu, amnu, he's a quack. Aminew, aminew, aminew, he's a quack. Well, I mean, that's why Kevin follows him, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Is he on your Earthquake app too? Kev, is that Lisa Loeb's husband? Hello, what was her song? Again, I don't remember. Fuck, it was catchy. It was catchy, you know it was. It was a one-hit wonder. No, Fuck, I can't remember the name. But I mean, is there a chance that there's actually a spaceship that's 12 miles wide? I mean, it's really depicting Independence Day or Thanos' ship either. Either way, that would be awesome. Just one day you show up. You're walking around Fucking. Captain America comes flying through. I'm like I'm in buddy. Where's my suit? Put on your Blanton's jersey and get in there, that's it.
Speaker 2:We'll be the fucking what's a good, fucking hero name. Then we're just drunk. My hidden talent is throwing empty beer cans at people and taking them out, but the beer cans I throw turn into fucking ninja blades and that's it. I mean, do you deep down inside? Do you believe there's a chance? That? I absolutely believe that there's a chance. Yes, okay, all right, I want to believe. I really do. I really do. I'm not going to believe it until something hits the earth and people, you know they start shooting at us. And what are you saying? It's just a moo-m-ay, as is how you. What has he been drinking again? Dude, you're not supposed to be drinking at rehab. Amu-amu, amu-amu, oh, oh, is he trying to say nanu-nanu Mork from Ork? Okay, cool, that's good. Oh, mano-a-mano Fisticuffs Rochambeau. What's going on? This is awesome, even when he gets back from the Betty Ford clinic.
Speaker 1:I think we should leave him outside the studio.
Speaker 2:He's not learning because he's hijacking the chat Unbelievable. All you do is see his name, nobody else's. God, give the fans a chance. Kev, jesus, it's unbelievable. But I don't know. I want to believe it, dude, I really do, and I would honestly go nuts if, like a mothership, was like right outside of Earth and then like deployed other ships. But the only way. Oh, here we go. Oh, bubba, joe's watching how you doing. Joe, wait one second, don't you talk yet. See, here we go.
Speaker 2:I can't even take his phone call because, oh, who's calling in? Who do you think's calling in? Oh no. Who do you think hello, so it? Oh no. Who do you think Hello, so it's not working. Oh, here we go, hello, hello. How do you have a phone in the Betty Ford Clinic? I didn't think you were allowed apparatuses. I'm wondering, because you're not supposed to have any type of fucking technology. You're supposed to be in a group right now because it's three hours, and you're supposed to be in a group right now because it's three hours and you're supposed to be talking. You're supposed to be getting going with your 12 steps. So how's it in the clinic? Is it good?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good the walls are a little white.
Speaker 2:I mean it's costing the show a fortune, but I gotta be white.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we better monetize quick then.
Speaker 2:So you're saying you're going to be there for a while? Is what you're saying?
Speaker 1:Well, no, a couple more hours.
Speaker 2:Fastest recovery in the world you got.
Speaker 1:Gunner, fucking breaking you out.
Speaker 2:I do. You got two dirt bikes outside of the Betty Ford A dirt bike and a sidecar.
Speaker 1:We're going to hit the cash register at the cafeteria first and we can get out.
Speaker 2:First of all, you have to set up a. What do you call it? Set some bombs off, a little fucking decoy, Decoy, yep, and then you run Once you do that.
Speaker 1:I was going to clog the toilet in the hall, so everyone would kind of go that way, and I'm going to go the other way.
Speaker 2:Did Mr Pika drop off some fucking M-80s to you to blow up the toilet bowl Just?
Speaker 1:wondering Dude, you see he got a hole-in-one today.
Speaker 2:You just stole my thunder. I was just going to say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was on Facebook.
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't see that, yep.
Speaker 1:God, I'll never do that. Pk, you owe us all a drink for hitting hole-in-one. The way you pronounce it is Amuamua. Remember that big, long like asteroid thing yeah. Remember that that's the same guy said that about.
Speaker 2:I met a guy with that name in Hawaii one time Amuamua. Nice guy, but yeah, but that was only what was that? That was a rock that passed right. It wasn't an asteroid or anything. It wasn't an asteroid or rock.
Speaker 1:Well, same difference, man yeah whatever.
Speaker 2:I mean. You're the fucking astrologist. See Tommy O throwing his two cents in there. What's it say here? We're not scared of viruses anymore, so now they're resorting to the alien invasion. You think that's what this is?
Speaker 1:This is phase one.
Speaker 2:I am all down for alien probes. I haven't had some play in a while, so let's go Get in man.
Speaker 1:They're doing butt stuff.
Speaker 2:The thought of you running outside with a vat of KY Running around and Tom's next to me with his leather chaps, cowboy hat and fucking in his glitter bag, and we're running through the fucking streets and Big Shot's playing. That's it. So that's how him and I are going to be superheroes I'm going to run around with fucking suction cup dills and he's running around in leather chaps. What's up, grooch? So what's your input on this Kev? Do you believe the?
Speaker 1:Atlas comet thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is it a comet? Is it a spaceship?
Speaker 1:Is it a? I mean? No one can say it's a spaceship, it's a comet, probably.
Speaker 2:How can they not tell it, though, if it's a comet or not? And here's my thing, though, because this has been multiple sources where it says it was going like light speed, and then it changed directions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like it slowed down or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah and it's kind of like Kevin's slider, which is not good. So it fucking definitely changed direction light speed in one direction, changes speed and just changes where it's going um. Now I mean, it's tough to to really put together any type of fucking idea of what it would be, but the fact that they said it slowed down and changed directions and sped up, I'm sorry I I don't think that can happen in space. I mean, from all the movies I've seen, one would think not. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, objects in space can be affected by other objects in space.
Speaker 2:Here we go, unbelievable.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't read too much into it. It's just like gaslighting.
Speaker 2:Should we hey Orbs? Can we smoke in the house yet?
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm not there.
Speaker 2:Which corner should we use as the P corner? I thought we chose that one.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I don't want to ruin the Wine fridge there. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. You fucking little midget, Is he going to be there tomorrow at the game? You should show up. I'm not driving all the way over there.
Speaker 1:I mean, come on, just one time.
Speaker 2:I got stuff to do tomorrow, like what, what are you doing at 9 o'clock in the morning? See, there's nothing. I o'clock in the morning? See, there's nothing. I got things to do, okay, such as A lot of bad-mouthing going on, by the way, in the dugout about you, about me. Yeah, who's bad-mouthing me? All of us. Oh, fuck you guys. Now you know how to get me to show up, dude, every game I'm there. Groucho's like where's Matty? He ain't coming. He's just not coming.
Speaker 2:Well, here's the truth of the matter. I'm going to be honest with you. It would probably be the most miserable season if you were there, because we suck so bad and me goofing on everyone on top of it. If you were on the bench forget about it Somebody would have gotten killed. It's been pretty bad. Oh, you know what I know. Does that guy, scott Conte, go show up anymore? He wasn't at the last game I was at. I was on that last week's game. Oh, okay, because I had to work an event for work, but he's weird, I know, really weird, yeah, so, kev, you want to come up from vacay and come into the game tomorrow and maybe throw like six miles an hour?
Speaker 1:No, I'm starting my drive in the morning. I don't think I'll make it.
Speaker 2:Oh, you'll get here by nine. It's only up in Newburgh. I mean, start your drive a little earlier. I mean, take one for the team, for Christ's sake. He's more laid back when he's on the phone Than when he's in studio. In studio he's just Like vile Venomous. One of two things is going on right now Either he's really fucking drunk and he can't like or he got a blowjob? No, that's definitely not.
Speaker 2:Don't call sober right now you can tell that was going to be my other comment. He's definitely not. Don't cold sober right now. Well, that was that was going to be my other comment. He's definitely not slurring his words. No, he's not. I was listening to the episode when we did the fucking Gas station food.
Speaker 1:And dude.
Speaker 2:I wanted to punch myself in the face. When I spun the wheel and you're like, alright, this is what we're going to do, I was like why don't we just cut both of those in half? And I'll no, no, no. So you're going to spin. And then you just kept on going on in this tangent and it was fucking horrible. You're just Matty's just sitting there like get it out, say it, Say it. And you just couldn't do it. Your thought processing is pretty bad when you're drunk.
Speaker 1:No, Well, hey, that's why I'm seeking help, man.
Speaker 2:Can we send hookers to the Betty Ford Clinic for you? Can we talk to one of your vacation mates?
Speaker 1:Yeah, my handlers.
Speaker 2:Is Epstein with you? No, juan handlers. Is Epstein with you? No, juan Epstein, juan Epstein.
Speaker 1:They take me by myself.
Speaker 2:Is there any counselors there that we can discuss your treatment with?
Speaker 1:No, no, unfortunately there's pending litigation, so it's like a sealed file.
Speaker 2:Got you, got you. I'm so happy you said that. What do you say? I was going to tell you, don't put anyone on this phone. You guys out there sitting out by the fire pit singing some kumbaya.
Speaker 1:No, we're not allowed open flames. I'm surprised.
Speaker 2:What kind of place is this? This is fucking ridiculous. The money we're paying from the show is a little ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Well, they're pretty thorough.
Speaker 2:Are they nice to you? Have they touched you inappropriately?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Have they touched you appropriately?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Is Jizz Paul with you, because I heard him.
Speaker 1:No, but I do think I heard him.
Speaker 2:Did you?
Speaker 1:I think I heard him down the hall. He has a very distinct voice Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think Jizz plays there every day before he washes his hands in the morning. Well did you say, man, they keep us locked up like silent little lambs in here, is this what he sings every day in his room?
Speaker 1:Can you hear that? I was wondering if you would write some beef with broccoli.
Speaker 2:That's fucking number one on the fucking podcast list right there. And then audio and ridiculous downloads.
Speaker 1:Everyone loves it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing, though. When that song came out, he hit it big. Him and Kevin decided to go out on the town and just get fucking hammered. Lo and behold. We have to bail both of them out, hence why they're in fucking aa together eight balls and big bar bills, doing bumps and fucking hitting hookers unreal while gunner is behind them, which was a little weird. That is a little weird. By the way, your dog does look like a meth addict when it's jumping into the pool fetching.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that dog is awesome man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's awesome in a fucking In a lab. Little weird here with only two dogs here, by the way, it's almost like handleable, yeah. By the way, my condolences to Savannah bro.
Speaker 1:Oh man, thanks man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love that dog. That dog was great, savannah was. She had some bad breath, but she was a good dog. Yeah, it happened in like a flash. What happened that dog that dog was great, savannah had some bad breath but she was a good dog. It happened in a flash. What happened?
Speaker 1:She just didn't eat one night. I told Allie and she brought her to the vet the next day. About 1.30 that day I got a phone call saying that it was time. She had a stomach full of blood and a mess and stuff like that and shit, you know. And they're like you could bring her home and bring her back when your husband gets home but she might pass and stuff like that. And uh, luckily I was done early, so I got there and you know, you know we did the, did the deed and uh, that fucking sucks I mean kevin hasn't worked a full day in 12 years.
Speaker 2:Thank god you know what. You are correct on that, dude, because he he's so fast with what he does and it's just, it's amazing when I pass by and I'm like, look at that, 11.30. Truck's gone already. If only he carried that over into the real world, god, he could have been amazing. Perhaps he does carry it over into parts of the real world. That's why the assassin has issues with things. You got to be willing to put a full day's work in Kev.
Speaker 1:What's one thing life taught you If you take your top lip and connect it to your bottom lip, you will shut the fuck up. Sometimes, shutting the fuck up is the best thing you can do.
Speaker 2:That's a public service message. Yeah, that's the advice she gives him every day Anytime he talks. But nah, dude, that sucks. And I was like how come you didn't do Scout? Because I think Scout would have been better. You know, we could have kept Savannah Just like. Come on, scout, okay. Okay, I think he's just going to drop Scout off at the vet's office with a note on it one night. Just tie her up to the front door. My dog's retarded. See what you can do with it. Please put this dumb fuck out of its misery. Do you guys euthanize retards?
Speaker 1:Speaking of retards. I hear her barking.
Speaker 2:Unbelievable. Well Kev, it's been a pleasure.
Speaker 1:We love you. Yeah, I don't want to get accused of hijacking. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:It's good that you, you gotta realize. I think it's. The 12th step Is realizing the issue and apologizing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, didn't I.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. No, I didn't hear you. I didn't hear. Sorry, I'd like to. When you want to do it, we'll be here for you, didn't I? I don't think so. No, I didn't hear you. I didn't hear you. Sorry, I'd like to. Alright, when you want to do it, we'll be here for you, but you've got to do those hard things.
Speaker 1:I'll prepare a statement for the next show. Is she going to have a?
Speaker 2:press release. No, we're breaking news.
Speaker 1:We're going to get a CID conference.
Speaker 2:Breaking news to start the next show. That's great. Kevin's going to come down in a t-shirt and a tie, looking skinnier and unhealthy as ever and slur his way through a statement I can't wear a triple X buddy. You know what oh?
Speaker 1:That is, without a doubt, the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You are a fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:That's one of the greatest ones ever. Well, you enjoy. Did you play golf at all this week?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:What did you do this week?
Speaker 1:You know A little beach, a little this, a little that you know.
Speaker 2:Did you have SPF 1000 on?
Speaker 1:No, no, I don't put anything on.
Speaker 2:Because you're like transparent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny when I take the old shirt off, though I've got like the farmer tan dude.
Speaker 2:The farmer tan and you look emaciated like Auschwitz. Like if you watch a movie on my back it's so white, the farmer tan and you look emaciated like Auschwitz. Do you number your ribs? No, you look like a patient in Auschwitz. Man, fucking, put your shirt back on Christ. Maybe the next show we'll hold them down and we'll tattoo a number on them. We could do that.
Speaker 1:Jesus Christ. No, we could do that.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about anything bad. No, what's wrong with you? Jesus Love you Orbs. Well, you enjoy it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys have a good show.
Speaker 2:We will. Thanks, buddy, all right, poor guy Sounds like the whip has been cracking on him. Sounds like a beaten man. Obzy, get well soon. Yeah, buddy, make sure you fucking, you talk about your feelings, you talk to your counselors when need to and you admit your problems. What's up, rave Alright. And once you do that, then you get the apology out and boom man, you hit that 12 step and next thing you know, we're going to be giving you coins. For how many days you've been sober, groots? What are you talking about? You're not going to the game tomorrow because of Pat. Is that what you're saying? No, he's going. Fuck that, he's going. He, the team that hits, from what I see. Yeah, it's really weird. I've been doing all right this year. You have been. I've been looking, doing all right. I'm not going to lie. It's part of the reason.
Speaker 2:Fielding is off this year Totally off. I had to catch a whole fucking game. Last time I played, I caught nine innings.
Speaker 2:And I walked off the field. I'm like never again. I'm not even going to lie to you, I'm not going to lie. I was back there like fucking Thurman Munson blocking balls. I kind of feel like, if I show up at a game like oh Matt, you haven't been here all year, how you doing, put the gear on. I could thank Grooch for this because, first of all, we have no pitchers. The second, anybody shows up and I see there's only one pitcher. I already know what's going on, yeah, but supposedly we have some arms tomorrow and I'm definitely not fucking kidding. Well, one guy's got no one because he has the flu. I mean fake COVID, yeah, what is that?
Speaker 1:all about.
Speaker 2:I was going to comment but I said I'm just not even getting into it. Who has it? I don't know. They wanted that fucking jerk off from the fucking Mets last year. Who was the pitcher? And it was a real fucking jerk off. Not Adam, I don't mind. Adam the lefty, yeah, he wanted to come and fill in tomorrow and shit, all right, so what? You're not even there. Fuck that guy man. You're not even there. Why are you getting? Like what's up with that? I don't know. Okay, I'm sorry, you know, but it's so. And of course I'm like I don't want to catch and Groucho's like Pat wants to catch. Yeah, we got to catch her over here Wouldn't stop until I had to fucking man up and be like all right, I'll believe it. But it was okay and I manned up.
Speaker 1:You are a man.
Speaker 2:I try. Yeah, it sucked, dude. Yeah, I couldn't. The next fucking four days I couldn't fucking move. I can't afford to do that. Well, yeah, of course you can't. I mean, dude, I got too much shit to do. You'll probably die behind the plate. Go fuck yourself. I'm just saying you know we worry about your health. What about my health? What about your fucking health? Well, no, no, all right, if I caught nine, I'm golden dude. I treat my fucking body like a playground.
Speaker 2:Who chased Conti away? Grooch me. Oh yeah, you're a loser. Well, I don't even think I told him anything at the game. No, I think he chased himself away when he asked for the granola bar in right field and then he got rushed away with an ambulance in one game. Did you hear about that? I didn't realize he got an ambulance. Oh, dude, we were at Hopewell, yeah, and Shocker's playing second, uh-huh, and all you hear is anybody got a granola bar. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Forrest Gump was in right field, it sounded like it, alright. So I guess I don't know what the fuck happened and he just had like heat stroke or something.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:In like the third or fourth inning. Was he drinking? I don't think so. Well, there's no excuse for that. Then I know I was like man up bro Christ, you see my fat ass playing fucking shortstop over here and running around and shitting my pants and stuff. I'm not complaining about being hungry because I was starving at the time and somebody actually gave him a granola, which I wanted. Oh, oh, what a waste. Then If he got taken in the ambulance, he wasted the granola for him. So they call fucking Chicago PD, and you know who called him. Did he call them himself? I think he had them on speed dial. Wow, maybe we don't know what's the story on that, because, hey, grouch, what's the story on that? Because he hasn't been here since.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:He's very weird, extremely, I realized. The other day he unfriended me from Facebook. I wasn't upset about it. Well, what did you say to him that day? I said something in my normal Matty charm You're a loser, go kill yourself. I did not say to him that day I said something in my normal Matty charm You're a loser, go kill yourself. I did not say that you should do that. Jump off a bridge. I might tell him to get the fuck away from me or shut the fuck up once or twice.
Speaker 2:Well then, we were playing at fucking Kent and he you played at Kent, yeah, and I didn't go to that game. No, kevin showed up with Allie, you know what. I was probably in the midst of taking care of my dad. I think you were Okay, I think you were. I would say that game I would have went to.
Speaker 2:And that was the one when he said I'm not going to be able to make it, I'm back on the toilet, like who? Like, listen, you're mid-shit and you're going to text that. Just if you're out, you're out. I mean, the only person that would make a comment like that, aside from him, is Kinger. Listen, if his feelings were hurt, grooch, he doesn't belong on the team because Skin's too thin. If you can't take the shit that we dish out.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's times when I shit off myself with some of the stuff Maddie says to me, but I take it. It's true, with some of the stuff Maddie says to me, but I take it, it's true, you know, it's true. His vagina got hurt and whatever. He's just a weird dude, kind of reminds me of a sex trafficker maybe I mean Pat's made me want to drive my car off the Newburgh-Bacon Bridge. A couple times on the way I've tried to assist him and he won't do it. So he's got tough skin, it's true, in which is true I'm stubborn. I'd like to stay and just agitate Pat one more day. Yeah, and there was one time we were together agitating each other on the bridge, holding hands together.
Speaker 1:We're going, we're going.
Speaker 2:So we manned up, and if he can't man up, tough shit, we pulled the backdraft. Good riddance, you go, I go. Oh, look at that. Okay, some of you I mean some of you do know so I've been on these dating apps.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So I've been on these fucking dating apps and they're. So this is the Mating Game with Patty Flake. Let's give you guys an update of what's been going on. And I went on the date. What? Two weeks ago, was it that long already Did you go?
Speaker 2:on one last week, or was it two weeks? It's been two weeks, I think right, okay, yeah, all right, which actually went really well. I showed you a photo of her yes, very attractive woman, thank you. One last week, or was it two weeks? It's been two weeks, I think right, yeah, all right, which actually went really well. I showed you a photo over yes a very attractive woman.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I was impressed. She's a hottie. Um, the fact that she liked you blew me away, matt. I don't know about you or whoever, but everybody likes me. That's not true. I just say that to make myself feel better. Okay, I only like you like two out of seven days a week.
Speaker 2:So we went to dinner, went to this place called BIA down in Chappaqua Chappaqua Really nice place. Oh, really nice place. I'm not going to lie Fancy. It's got a tablecloth in it. It's called like BIA, something like kitchen and bar. First of all, it shouldn't be called Kitchen and Bar. No, no, it was fucking. It was like a real upscale place, really nice. Was it like a pizza joint with dirt on the floor? We don't talk about that, okay, all right, just checking. It's like PTSD. So I got a story about that, by the way. Great one, excellent. Oh, it's the thing.
Speaker 2:The whole dating app thing, the whole dating in your 40s nonsense. It is literally a work interview, all right. The reason why I say that is this I have a lot of matches. Papa Joe said you went on a date with Bea Arthur. Fuck you, joe, all right. I did not go with Bea Arthur. Fuck you, joe. All right, I did not go with Bea Arthur, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2:Her name's Phyllis. She has an old name. She's 40. Gorgeous, she's from Riverdale. We've been talking every day, so she even talked to you after the date. Yeah, dude, we had a really good date. I'm impressed. I was in awe because she was just very well put together, good head on her shoulders. We pretty much talked about everything, laughing, having a great time. It's just tough getting time due to the fact of she's a single mom. I'm not going to get into the whole pitch of that, but no, it's been good.
Speaker 2:And they're still got these dating apps where I have to answer questions what do you do for a living? Does it fucking matter what I do? Right now we're trying to figure out. Well, they want to make sure you have gainful employment. Yeah, so no one wants to date a deadbeat. No. And they're not liking when I say I am a sex trafficker, so I get blocked all the time.
Speaker 2:For that one, I mean, you should just put a headshot of you with a fedora, with a feather in it. I'm a pimp, I feathering. I'm a pimp. I pimp bitches out. I'm a fucking pimp. I don't like to date the workforce, so I'm looking for something new. I was.
Speaker 2:I was wondering what type of product you have. So, are you good? Are you good with directions? No, we, we like obedience here, you know. But, but, and there are, I'm not going to lie, there are.
Speaker 2:Here's one rule I'm going to have for you fucking women out there. All right, if you're on the dating apps, the one thing you need to stop fucking doing oh, don't say it Stop putting filters on your photos. I don't need to see bubbles. I don't need to see horns. I don't need to see horns. I don't need to see all these stars and twilight shit. Like what the fuck? You're fat, some of you. You're fat and you're putting filters on there and making you look thin. It's not helping you out. Okay, so the El Natural's out there, the ones who are actually putting up fucking photos of themselves and not fucking up just yeah, you're good. The ones with the filters you're making it tough.
Speaker 2:Can you change your profile name to Pat Snuggy Bear Feliciano? Because, thank you, bubba Joe, it is. You're masking how you really look, all right, and then when you take the filter off, it's like that episode, it's like that scene in fucking Hall Pass Probably the best way to say it. No, it's like Shallow Howe, yeah. And then you're like oh, wow, she's really hot. Why does her eyes look like that? Oh, you're on Snapchat taking photos of yourself. You know, it's just not good. Oh, is that Michelle? Yes, yes, listen, it's true. Alright, you know, it's true. The fact that the filters are going on. It shouldn't I can't put a filter on me to make me look like fucking. You know what, pat? I was just going to say we should put a filter on you to have you have nice, flowing locks of hair. Oh my God, could you imagine that? That would be fucking great. Be like oh my God, your hair is beautiful. Actually, anyone who's computer literate, please call in.
Speaker 2:Actually, let me be honest with you. That is a filter. I'm bald, you know it's just fucking ridiculous. You know it's just fucking ridiculous, but it's. It is so difficult and so annoying in your 40s to try and date again. But what was cool when, when Phyllis and I went on it, it was it felt like going to a bar, chit chat with somebody, getting to know somebody, and that was like the cool aspect.
Speaker 2:It was a good old fashioned get to know you ordered some food, ordered some drinks, did you? Did I send you that photo of that fucking uh, the, the uh old-fashioned? They made no, oh my god, what bourbon did they use? 18 old man, 1892, I think it was called. Really, yeah, ooh, whiskey infused peaches were inside of it. Oh, phenomenal, dude, delicious, absolutely delicious.
Speaker 2:See, I'm used to the old Italian zips Put no peaches in there First of all, you should have a mental pic of me with flowing blonde hair and beautiful locks, because it's glorious and, you know, and funny to look at. I want to see if I can get a Fabio wig and just go out with it one day. Find out we got to find a Sage Rosenfels wig, I have no idea where it's at Find like a makeup artist so they can do it on my like forehead and shed and make it look like it's real and just walk around with it and see. Or you could be just like LaBuddy you fly to Argentina and get some hair plugs, you know or I'll take a photo with my flowing locks and my bitch tits and my man gut and see. You know, this is a dad bod, but he's got beautiful hair.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know if I'd go as far as say bitch tits, they're close, but the gym's been working on back and the gym's been well, okay, good, good, no, things are good with you know she's at the top of the list out of everybody else. That's nice. Do you have plans to see her again, trying to, tomorrow, before she goes on vacation on Monday? Have you mentioned the podcast yet? No, okay, just checking, I know if I want to, I really do the second.
Speaker 2:I do that. Bam, no more phone calls and I'm blocked. That's it. You say faggot too much? No, I don't. What are you talking about? It's fucking retarded to say that. That's Matty. Michelle, fucking the buddy got here. He went down to Brazil or something. Argentina, argentina. When's the last time you saw Jimmy? He got his plugs done. Ease her in. How am I going to ease her in? You could take that in several ways. Yeah, I mean Pat. Yeah, pat, there's a few ways I could think of Pat Easing her in. Oh, there we go. You know, very attractive, she was very attractive, very much so. Did I tell you that picture in leather pants? Yeah, I know it's been a while. I know it's been a while. It's my body, not yours. This I know Probably why my balls have been hurting so bad. This, I know that's probably why my balls have been hurting so bad. Well, that was the other thing I was going to ask you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to go to the doctor.
Speaker 2:It's kind of concerning. Well, if you're fucking smacking off like you're a 14-year-old boy, maybe just ease up. Twice a day, bro. You make it sound like I'm slapping fucking cowhide. Well, not for nothing. It's been a while. Yeah, you got your place. It's not even a fucking word, dude. It's probably the biggest drought I've ever been in. Yikes, I'm not even going to lie. Will I come to Jersey one day? No, okay, no, after the story you told me a little while ago.
Speaker 1:You don't have to do that I don't think I want to. Whatever?
Speaker 2:Are we going to a? Are we going to a, you know, fucking fest Like a white party no, no, no. Fest like a white party no, no no, we don't talk about that baby oil involved in this?
Speaker 2:because if so, I'm I you know I may lean towards doing it, that which would be nice. I'm just saying no, I mean diddy is getting out, I think so. I mean he might. He might not have the celebrities his party anymore, but we we could probably get an invite. But it will be a scene like the WNBA's been lately, with the fucking dildos getting thrown on the floor, which is absolutely fantastic. I can't even imagine why they're complaining about it. Those bitches are putting those in their gym bag and going home. But some of the memes I've been seeing with that shit.
Speaker 2:Phenomenal, it's absolutely phenomenal, absolutely out of control. So the moral of the story is if you're in your 40s and you want to date, don't, okay, well, there's got to be a way. It's so. The shitty thing is this Like, you can have like matches with people on these sites, right, uh-huh, start having good conversation and then it's just fucking Ghostwriter. Well, because they're talking a 47, yeah, I know so. Does that make them like like a dating app whore? Does it make me a man whore? If I'm talking to a lot? No, I mean, you got to talk to a bunch of people because it's, it's, it's a numbers game, pat, I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm at the point now where I I'm copying and pasting responses because there's a lot going on, there's so much going on, you know, and it's tough to pay attention to, but it's eased down since dinner two weeks ago. But there's some fucking hotties out there who are complete lunatics. Well, I was just going to say is it a lunatic fest?
Speaker 1:Oh my.
Speaker 2:God, yeah, there's a reason why they're on. That first chick who I connected with and we were supposed to go out for drinks. She goes out with her friends one night and next thing, you know, fucking blocks me and everything and I did nothing whatsoever. I just think she went out and got some cock and she was like all right, I got to cut everything off. And here's the crazy thing she came up as a friend, a suggested friend, on Facebook. How was that? Maybe she was looking at your profile.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's why she?
Speaker 2:I'm like wait a minute, what do I have on my profile that I'm going to get myself blocked? She watched an episode of Take a Deep Show. No, no, but it's just. My god, the fucking, the shitty mets are actually winning, holy shit. Um, it was just. It was really weird.
Speaker 2:But I told you the story of when I was talking to her on the phone and like we were on the phone for like two hours and as time went on, I'm like she is fucking hammered. And I heard her, you heard her gurgling wine. I was like, oh, what are you doing, still having a glass of wine? And that kept on going on, but she was gulping. Either she was at the glory hole not telling me, or she went through a bottle of wine as fast as possible because she just kept on slurring her words. But then she got like upset about something that happened to her and she kept on repeating that over and over and over again. So I had flashbacks. I was like, wait a minute. I was like I just went through this shit, not happening, not happening. But oh, to dovetail that.
Speaker 2:So my ops manager, nicole, she was surprised. She's like you do a podcast. I'm like, yeah, she's like give it to me. So I was sent it to her. She was listening. She's like absolutely love it. She's like I'm going to tell everybody if I can listen to it. And her and I are sitting there talking. I didn't even know she was. So I was like Get the fuck out of here. How old is she? She graduated in oh, oh god, 05. She's a child. Alright, go ahead. No, she's yeah, what was that? 10 years, 9 years?
Speaker 2:10 years after me, so she's in her late 30s and Her sisters Went to Carmel and everything. And then we're sitting there talking and she's like, oh, yeah, she's like my sister worked at Gabby's for years. I was like, say again, I was like who's your sister? Who might that be? So she tells me I was like, oh, I was like, well, my ex is the manager at Gabby's. She's like oh, what's your name? So I tell her she texts her sister Two minutes later oh, her, she's a crackhead. I was going to say cunt, but crackhead works too.
Speaker 2:The second I heard that I just felt so much relief off my shoulders and then I was like I was like you guys want to see something even crazier. So I compared a photo of the getting caught in action and five years ago oh boy, you want me to show it to you? Can I see your reaction to it? Absolutely, this is going to be great. Ago. Oh boy, you want me to show it to you? Can I see your reaction to it? Absolutely, this is going to be great. So I caught the ex coming out of the hotel yeah, sucking meth dick, oh boy. And so I caught the action photo and I sent it to the dude's wife, which actually I got a text message by the way Stop Last week on TikTok Uh-huh, on tiktok uh-huh. You want to hear what it says?
Speaker 1:I sure do this is great, this is great.
Speaker 2:I laughed so hard, meant a lot. Okay, there we go all right. Um, where is it? Uh-oh, did you lose it? She totally like wow, what a cunt. So and I'll read the responses I gave thereafter, which are great. So it says this is on August 10th at 4.39 pm. What day is that? August 10th?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So 12 days ago on the 10th.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a Sunday. Oh, it's a quick Sunday message. So it says you need to stop Stop messaging people. You don't know. We are over. I was like what are you talking about? I haven't said a word or done anything to anyone. I was like I know, we're over. You're the one who cheated with a fucking meth addict. Her response Seriously Just know, we're over, you're the one, you're the one who cheated with a fucking meth addict. Her response seriously, just stop. I was like seriously, take responsibility for your actions. Have no reason to waste a fucking breath on you. Why you did this, not me? Why start now? Correct? Oh, it is a response to that.
Speaker 2:I I added more to it. Okay, I was like I hope he's fucking worth it. You'll still be a fucking alcoholic with no license and I'm the one who didn't get my life together. Question mark, question mark, question mark. How dare you? Next thing would love to know who I messaged. Unlike you, I don't hide behind lies, don't? Next text Real winner you picked. You're still going. Yeah, I had to get it out. I was like oh, you're upset because I got a hold of his wife Laughing my ass off. Good, you deserve. Every fucking bit of it Shows how much of a liar you two are. Karma's a bitch and you'll get every bit of it because of how much you fucked me over. You're not even worth the energy, your loss definitely not mine Laughing my fucking ass off and blocked, and that's how we left it. So I was like I guess she didn't like my responses, so now I'm totally blocked.
Speaker 2:But that being said, look at this fucking before and after. Where is it? Here we go. So, oh, by the way, here's a photo of her, completely passed out, pissing the couch. Sorry, here's a photo of her, completely passed out, pissing the couch. Sorry, gotta get it out, bro, gotta get it out. So, anyway, here we go. You want the before or you want the after? First, let's do the after. No, give me the before. No, let's do the after. So this is action photo Coming out the hotel Caught. Ah, all right. That out the hotel Caught? Ah, all right. That's not good. That's her right. How old does she?
Speaker 1:look Old dude.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's not good. All right, this is from six years ago, okay.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Is that the same person? That's six years, six years Not the same person, right? No? So, lo and behold, more and more stuff's coming out and I believe she's like a huge drug addict now. It certainly looks that way A little bit, yeah, good that way A little bit, yeah. Good for her. Good for her. Hey, listen, she just has to call Uber now because she's got no driver.
Speaker 1:Whatever?
Speaker 2:So listen, I'm happy, Things are good. When Did you see what fucking Kevin wrote?
Speaker 1:R.
Speaker 2:Kelly the couch? Yes, several times, Kevin, and he's got a picture what? I don't see the photo.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, oh boy.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, all right. So the great thing about it was I remember my brother and my sister was like you got it, andy, you got it. I was caught in six years ago of the person she was to. Then when I saw him and her together, it just clicked. I started I wasn't even angry, dude, I started laughing and I was like, oh my god, you look like the crypt keeper. That was it. Fucking. Sleep better, no anxiety anymore.
Speaker 2:Lo and behold, few days after that Cause that was going on, for whatever Her and I were broken up, for whatever long, I was like I was thinking about doing the dating app. So I'm like no, I'm not fucking wasting my time Not doing it. And I did it. So I actually did a facebook fucking dating, which is that one's weird. That sounds scary. Uh, you get a lot of the ones in the city who who are russian, who are looking for yugoslavian I don't know, looking for daddy ukraine and um solinsky's cousin yeah, pretty much, I think he was on there With his dick on the piano. Oh, um, so I'm sitting there. Next thing I get an alert that I got a like. I'm like oh Okay, what is? What is that?
Speaker 2:Kevin wrote Gollum Precious. It totally, dude, totally it's, and it's you know what On all series it's sad to see, it really is, it's shocking. She was a beautiful person. You see her now and it's like, wow, I'm on an episode of Cops, like I'm not lying to you, like I goof and I like to laugh at those memes. You know, when they showed the mug shots of the crackheads and the meth heads, I said you know what they? I said what they were three years ago versus now. Yeah, how big is the difference of that.
Speaker 2:It's fucking bad, insane dude. This is the first time knowing the person seeing that is fucking bad man, absolutely insane. And the saddest part is her daughters have to deal with that shit. I love her daughters to death, but the fact that they're trying to, they begged her to get help and she chooses the pipe and some meth, dick and alcohol. I cannot wait until that place burns down. I would love it, just like oh yeah, I would go over with a huge bag of marshmallows, you and I. Oh I, I can't even go in there and get a fucking slice of pizza. I refuse.
Speaker 2:No, it's just it's the black hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The local yokel white trash of caramel. Yep, hang out there, I know so, and there's rats the size of fucking cats in there. Ugh, just so you know. Health department Check it out. I've already called them several times. But you know what? I got a guy that you know. If we want I got a guy we can send him over that way and you know, things happen at restaurants. Is this the rooster killer? I'm just saying I got a guy. I just want to know if this is the rooster killer. He hasn't shown up to my fucking place yet, because I got chickens and roosters all over the place pecking on my fucking door. I need to. First of all, he said he had a plan, but he never showed up.
Speaker 1:Well, that sounds like somebody I know.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, guy needs some help. So my nephew is the one who convinced me. Him and Ryder are the two that convinced me. They're like you need to be happy, just do it. I was like it's a headache, bro. I was like you know, women, they're crazy, crazy. Well, you got to find one. That's not crazy. You don't have a good track record with that, but you could try. Yeah, it's like I'm fucking like a magnet for fucking psychos and and you got to learn to cut the cord earlier. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2:My thing is like once I see a red flag, skadoodles. Well, that's it. You ain't got time for the nonsense anymore, skadoodles, and that's it. So I was like you know what? Fuck it, let me do it. So I created a Facebook dating app Right, which is really weird, fucking really weird and trying to create a bio. I'm a single father, that's it. You know it's, and I don't, because I haven't fucking been dating God knows how long. I was like all right, chat GBT, can you create me? Chat, gbt is my boy. Listen, I give you all the credit in the world. When I was a youngster and I moved to fucking Pennsylvania by myself and I didn't know nobody out there or anything. I kept looking at some of the fucking you know, some of the fucking aol sites and shit at aol at the time yeah, when it was free right, yes, okay, I was looking and I'm like I just can't fucking do it.
Speaker 2:I just I can't, I couldn't fucking put myself out there, couldn't do it. So I felt like a vulnerable child doing this, right, I was like this is going to suck, and going through it probably two days. In next thing I get a notice that somebody liked my boonch and it was Chick Phyllis. I was like, hmm, all right, I was like oh, boogie down All right From the Bronx, okay Okay.
Speaker 2:And liked, oh, boogie, down, all right From the Bronx, okay Okay. And liked Boom, started talking. We fucking hit it off. Pretty much like so much shit in common. Same things we're looking for what we want Her pass with her ex and everything was just crazy. You're looking for 12-inch pipe too. I'm on the wrong site, whoops. So I switched to browsers, got off grinder, but no, like she was like so straightforward and honest with like everything, like with everything that she's going through and what you know what shit that's happened to her, and I was like that takes fucking balls to do that. I was like wait a minute, let me test this. Like I was like that takes fucking balls to do that.
Speaker 1:I was like wait a minute, let me test this.
Speaker 2:I was like are she crazy for saying that? God, I was like I don't know if I'm being fucking. Could you send me a close-up picture of your eyes? I gotta look at the crazy factor. Quick question I'm gonna need a picture of the vagine. It's the only way you can tell if if you're crazy or not. But no, um, and her and I hit it off, asked her out to dinner. We go to dinner and it was fucking great, had a great time, but it's, that was what. Two weeks. We haven't seen each other since, but we've been talking to each other every day. Okay, and it's cool. That's awesome. So far, so good. Good luck, yeah, you know. Fingers crossed, so hopefully I get to see her tomorrow, tomorrow's Friday, tomorrow's Saturday right, tomorrow's Saturday yeah.
Speaker 2:So she's going on vacation. She's going on a cruise with her daughter on Monday, so you're going to catch nine innings tomorrow and limp into the date tomorrow, I'm not. First of all, stop throwing in the nine inning catching. Ask for a meds list up front. Wow, you know what, kev? That is a very, very good question. That is.
Speaker 2:That's not terrible. Listen, you can't get mad at me for asking that. Nope, nope, can't. I hate to ask, but what kind of meds are you on? Quick question Are you on? Have you been depressed or anxious? Are you on meds for it? Are we on Zoloft or Prozac? Because you seem like your eyes are sagging a little in the middle of the day Just wondering, and you seem like you really parched for water all the time. Are you on lithium?
Speaker 1:I'm just wondering, oh boy.
Speaker 2:No, but she does have multiple sclerosis, not crazy. Bad Listen, you can work around that. She's like like you won't even notice it. I'm like now you're going to make me look, why'd you give me something?
Speaker 1:else to look for.
Speaker 2:We meet up at the restaurant. Fuck, why couldn't you just say you had a lazy eye? I don't know if I could deal with a lazy eye, because I'd be sitting there like what are you looking at, you know? So I meet up with her Dude. I was first time in my deal with a lazy eye because I'd be sitting there like what are you looking at, you know? But uh, so I meet up with her at the dude. I was first time in my like long, long time. I was nervous as fuck. I was like I'm hope I'm not being catfished. I really hope I'm not showing up and some dude gets out of a car with a wig on, has an Adam's apple Hi, I'm Phyllis, like something like that. That is fucking phenomenal. But I got to get on these dating sites.
Speaker 1:No, you don't.
Speaker 2:First of all, you got to pay for them and they're fucking expensive. So she got to the restaurant early because it's when we had that fucking, that huge, fucking storm two weeks ago on a Wednesday, yep, and I was driving down on the sawmill Thank God I had my truck dude Fucking cars were off the road.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm blowing through fucking puddles. Well, people don't know how to fucking drive, man. It's fucking awful. So we meet up. She's there, I get there, I get out. She's driving a fucking BMW M4. It's fucking ridiculous. She gets out of the car, dude, my fucking jaw drops. What's her job? She owns four pharmacies down in the Bronx. So she's a drug dealer. No, she's partnered up with a couple other people. Uh huh, she does all the scheduling, she does all the hiring and she runs four pharmacies. Four pharmacies, really, yeah.
Speaker 2:See if you can get me the insurance. I spoke to her about that. Really A few bucks in it for you I got a couple I got a couple people who already called her about her. Uh um, like a financial advisor called her, who was in my network group because she was talking about it.
Speaker 2:I'm like I know somebody. I got a guy so I had them reach out and she was happy about that. Then I had somebody else reach out to her for her. What the fuck was it for, I forget. But they reached out and she texted me. She's like you're just helping me out every which way. I was like, yeah, that's who. I am Way too ridiculous. I don't want to say inappropriate things. Help me, Help me, help you. Okay, but she gets out and she gives me a kiss. When she got out of the car and there was just like this instant connection, A little electricity, Totally dude Like, and I haven't felt like that in fucking forever. That's pretty fucking cool dude. So we go inside, we're just sitting there shooting the shit and have a great conversation, a couple drinks, order some food, and we were there for about three hours or so just chilling. Good night Grooch. Hey Grooch, make sure you get your binky, okay, buddy? Why don't you suck your thumb tonight? Get a couple fucking hits tomorrow, you piece of shit.
Speaker 2:I'll see you in the morning, you little bitch. But yeah, it was real cool. There was times like we were fucking laughing for God knows how long because it was just like some of the awkward shit I was I can't imagine. And I told her I'm like, listen, I do like and create awkward situations. So she's like, oh, that's okay. I was like you don't want to say that it's okay now. I was like you don't want to say that, yeah, it's okay now. I don't know if it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, sorry, democrat or Republican, I don't even think we even talk politics. Interesting, actually, I believe she's conservative, okay, and I think she leans towards Towards Trump, just cause of I'm just curious. I'm just curious. Yeah, no, I don't even think we talked about politics. We talked about everything else Her family, my family, the, the fact that, like, she's extremely family oriented, which I absolutely love about people, and then, when I was talking about my family, how close knit we became After my mom passed. What is her? Is she Italian? No, turkish. I was just going to say she's got to be Greek. Oh, oh, my god.
Speaker 1:And she has a little accent.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, oh it. That was like just Beyond sexy. And I just sat there like Dude I usually interrupt people when they're talking. Oh my God, oh it, it. That was like just beyond sexy. And I just sat there like dude, like I usually interrupt people when they're talking. I just sat there and listened. Say that again, one, one more time, say that word again oh, it's so nice, but uh, no, she's fucking, she's cool shit.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:And she's cool as shit, nice and yeah so, and, by the way, the dating apps. You want me to give you prices on the dating apps? No, you want to get your mind blown? No, you will, because I'm going to tell you so. I was on like 42 of them. I spent 7,000 last month on dating apps. Seriously, I feel like it's OnlyFans, but it's not. So you have. First of all, one of them is Hinge. All right, yep, hinge is a big one. Hinge is all right. Let's see Hinge Now. Did you go on all of these or you just explored the prices? I went on all of them.
Speaker 1:Okay, so tell me the price. I Okay, tell me the price.
Speaker 2:I did shout over 100 bucks on these apps. All right, give me the price and tell me what the result was. Okay, it's pretty easy. And isn't it nice without Kevin here interrupting. Yeah, dude, this is great. We should fire him. Just saying, maybe just put him in a penalty box, all right.
Speaker 2:So Hinge X if I upgrade Uh-huh, all right. So HingeX, if I upgrade Jesus Christ for three months, $100. Here's where. But here's a or. You can fast track it. You do one week, see how many matches you get. I want to jump on for a week and see how many. One week $25. All right, that's Hinge.
Speaker 2:And how did you do on Hinge? You want to know what? Hinge reminds me of 2K. You want to know why? Because you got to buy little fucking microtransactions to send people roses. Oh, once you get in, you got to spend money on shit. These cocksuckers, dude, fuck that Insane. I mean I'm still on it, but there's certain things you can't do. And then there's Bumble, Bumble, bumble. Oh, somebody responded to me. I'm a school social worker from the students with autism. Oh, boy, this year she works with the kids. I got to touch it. He is. I'll also have a classroom of where is that Typical but traumatized kids. Oh boy, run, yeah, run. Teacher schedule. So I really can't complain. Red flag oh, love that teacher schedule. Red flag she's like 10 miles from me, uh-huh, uh-huh, there you go, there you go. Okay, she's pretty cute too.
Speaker 1:I mean she.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh, you know, it does help.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:They like the big guy. You know what Pat. She's used to dealing with kids, with issues, so she can deal with you. I'm sure I could be on the spectrum Absolutely, if she wants me to. I mean, you act like you have a touchy-to-ism from time to time. Totally do, dude, it's contagious, totally contagious. So Bumble, yep, here's Bumble. Okay, explore premium Alright, fucking premium.
Speaker 2:So what you get with premium is you get a thing called spotlight, so your profile is seen more by everybody else. And then you get super swipes, swiper no, swiping, I'm not paying. How much is this? It is, let's see. Here's the problem with it. It is, let's see. I can't even. Here's the problem with it. It won't tell you until you sign up. It won't even tell me who fucking liked me. It'll just show blurred photos, right? So then it says see who likes you. Click on, motherfucker, I'm trying to. Oh, so God, they block you. Real bad, jesus christ, that's crazy. Sorry, let's see. Let's try this again.
Speaker 2:Bubba joe wants to know if you were matched with any of, uh, anyone you know, or any of your friends from facebook. No, on facebook. Here's the thing how it works. None of whoever you're friends, they will not know that you're doing it. Oh, they purpose, they purpose. So, whoever you're friends with, they're already fucking blocked off. But then, like, if it gives you like this, this, like, crush something, so if you have a like, you could say you have a crush on somebody. It's fucking stupid, by the way, and you're limited. You're limited to the amount of likes per day. Huh, so I'm going through, I'm like nope, yes, nope, yes, nope, yes, nope, yes. Oh, I've reached my limit, fuck. So I've got to wait 24 hours. Oh, which is crazy. It's a little nutty. All right, it's a little nutty, but what you do is, if you guys do match or like each other, you have the option to share your profile.
Speaker 2:Ah All right. And what's crazy is I remember before I even matched with Phyllis, this girl from Mayapac matched with me first. Uh-huh, we were talking. She gives me her number, like right away. I was like, hmm, but stunning, absolutely stunning, and she wanted to go for drinks, right, yeah. So I was like, cool, let's set a date. Then nothing again, because she asked 17 guys if they wanted to go for a date. No, you want to know why? Because this dummy, we're friends with each other on Facebook now, oh, and every day she puts up things where she's alone. So stupid. So let me see if I can find her. Oh, there she is. This chick's hot, too Gorgeous, uh huh, uh huh. So, oh, but you can see. You can see the fucking crazy in the eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can just tell it's almost like the face of the Joker. Very attractive, very attractive of crazy in the eye. Yeah, you can just tell it's almost like the, the face of the joker. Very attractive, oh my gosh, very attractive. Yeah, look at the eyes, man it's. It's no good, but that doesn't look psycho, or does it?
Speaker 2:oh, it does yeah, yeah, is it because of the flowing hair? Oh no, god, like look at that, yeah, but like I don't know. So anything, you see it's. It's always saying something about being lonely and whatnot oh yeah when you look I'm like then get off the fucking.
Speaker 2:When you get off the shit, when you look like you're a fucking psychopath, either shit or get off the pot. So, bumble, by the way, is uh, let's see. Okay, I don't even know how to fucking figure out the pricing here. For whatever reason, it won't. Let me Stop punching your phone. I think it blocked me or something. It won't, let me fucking. Let's do that. All right.
Speaker 2:So which app have you had the most success on? Facebook? Facebook, people respond. Interesting. Facebook, people respond. People respond. You know. The other ones are just. I honestly think they're all bots. To be honest with you, bumble, I've had a few interactions With people, hinge, couple on there and then it's like you put your preferences in Distance. What they want, height, age. Do some of these profiles Crazy, like they show on Facebook when they show the profile? Yeah, this is why I complain about the fucking filters. Stop with the filters. Well, no, not even the filters. Mother of six looking for stable man from being positive role model for my children, bro, you want to know what's crazy? There was a fucking chick on there one day.
Speaker 1:Oh, boy, and.
Speaker 2:I'm looking and she said she has one kid. Then she's like I'm expecting my second in January. No, what, what? No, oh my God. Then I'm thinking I'm like maybe that could be hot. You know, they get a little frisky during the third trimester.
Speaker 1:But it's nuts man.
Speaker 2:But it's always the same fucking question. You introduce yourself, but it's always the same fucking question. Like you know, you introduce yourself and it's always the same question first. So what are you looking for? I'm looking for. I was wondering if I can get a load of women and put them in a container and I was going to ship them over to fucking Yugoslavia. That's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2:Are you into that? I'd love to start with a blowjob and if it's good, we could go on from there. Are you into facial Fridays? Yes or no? And it's Boy, you better give all of us that information. Not for 10 million, I'll tell you that. Well, not for you, not for you, but it's. I'm going to be.
Speaker 2:Like. There's some fucking you women out there. Some of you are Fucking crazy. I don't know what's going on with the guy side. I don't. I'm just fucking up front and like I don't give a shit, whatever. Plain and simple, you know. So what? I dated a meth addict for a while, got out of it, we're good. I gotta imagine some of the guys on there are fucking crazy. Oh, they're probably creeps.
Speaker 2:The good thing about the Facebook one Creeps are crackheads. Yeah, you cannot send photos until either you share profiles or exchange numbers. Oh, interesting, that's it. So what are you doing today? Any plans for the weekend? Cool, it's like the same shit over and over again. Now the difference with Phyllis and everybody else she was just fucking direct upfront what she went through, what she's looking for. I ain't got time for nonsense. Here's where we're at. Yeah, that's cool, that was it. I was like cool, cool, cool. Yeah, all right, by the way, your ass is it looked like it. Oh my God, it was like a peach Beautiful, it was fucking. I might have to take. You might have to show me a picture in the leather pants one more time. I could show that to you right now. Oh, what's this? Gotta remember after the Spank Bank, who's Morgan Morgan sent you a message in Facebook dating.
Speaker 1:This is what I'm talking about, is it Dave?
Speaker 2:Oh, morgan aka Rave, I'm not answering that, dave, stop trying to date.
Speaker 1:Pat, who is it?
Speaker 2:Who is Morgan Share? We have breaking news. I could just tell by the smile it's fake.
Speaker 1:Let's see, no, good you know, no, no good Blonde.
Speaker 2:I don't remember the last time I was with a blonde, matty, you know what I used to be all about the blondes. It was all blonde all the time and I got away from it. Now I'm a brunette guy now, so you had blonde Orientals when I could. Oh, he's so big, oh, I love you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love you a long time. They call me Blondie. If I forward you something, can you play it on the air? Yeah yeah, this chick's from Torrenton, connecticut, 5'10" God damn Long legs, wrap me up in that like a little pretzel. She smokes occasionally, doesn't have. Well, she doesn't have kids. She's 43 and doesn't have kids. That means something. Hmm, she's 43 and doesn't have kids. That means something. Hmm, she's a. Oh no, she only has a high school diploma. Yeah, that should be the problem.
Speaker 2:Bro, See, this is the Look at this. It says drinking often. Oh, it says smoking occasionally, that little martini glass Often. Sure, I'll go from an alcoholic to another one. Maybe she likes to drink, pat, I drink often. I'm not an alcoholic. Then I'll admit to. That's what Kevin said and you know where he's at. I just forwarded you something. I think you should search this woman out. How's the battery running low On what On the computer? Did it unplug? Oh, we're good. Okay, there we go, all right. What is this Crisis? Averted All right so am I playing this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, protect this woman at all costs. Alright, let's see why. Telling you this, you have to search this woman out. She's your next wife. I can't do it, claude.
Speaker 1:Hemmers, you can't bang a guy more than six inches.
Speaker 2:No, my shit too tight and too little, like I can't do it. Claude Hammers.
Speaker 1:So it has to be minimum six inches. Yes, so you like little dicks? Yes, are you lying, though? No, I'm not lying. So if he has a four inch, you'll do it. Yeah, three inches.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a lie.
Speaker 2:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:Now what's the minimum for the small?
Speaker 2:Two I must go to America to protect her. Okay, now Not everybody's the same down there Like my shit little.
Speaker 1:Dude, she's gorgeous, my shit tight. Wait, watch his turn.
Speaker 2:No, I don't like that. And Dinosaur extra big like that's not for me.
Speaker 1:So the guys that have little dicks, they have a chance with this. Yes, give a little spin again.
Speaker 2:Come on now. Oh, smoke show. Just give me three and a half minutes, maybe four.
Speaker 1:My man. So if you have a little dick, she wants you. Yes, hey, do you like?
Speaker 2:doing anal. Get out of here. Yes or no, it's got to be smaller than six. Most of you do. That's the girl you take home to mom after the first date. I'm such an asshole. I sent that to my son. I said you're going to find this woman, bring her home to me please.
Speaker 1:Well, I couldn't say that, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Well, who would fucking put that on their profile? They drink often. Someone who's honest. Maybe she likes. Is she young? Does she like to go out 43. She's not young. High school diploma, all right. She's spiritual. Yeah, she's probably always asking fucking God for help or something.
Speaker 1:Or she's saying oh God a lot, but she doesn't have kids at 43.
Speaker 2:Red flag, that's kind of a. I just I don't kind of an oh. Then I went out for drinks with this other chick last week Uh-huh, I haven't heard this story. Regretted it 10 minutes in oh no, oh, my god, it's not able to carry a conversation. I anytime. I talked okay, okay, okay, uh-huh, okay, okay, and I almost was like shut the fuck up, just shut up. Blonde Brunette, oh, and gorgeous figure. Uh-huh, I was staring, I'm not going to lie. Was she offended? She said can you keep your eyes up? I'm like I just looked. Oh, fuck you. I was like I just looked. She's like you've been looking at me. I was like I just looked for she's like you've been looking at me. I was like I'm sorry, you're wearing a tight pink dress. I'm like, first of all, you're wearing a tight neon pink dress. What else am I supposed to look at? You should have thought about that before you came out.
Speaker 2:So we wasted 80 bucks on drinks and so we're leaving. We're outside talking and I was just trying to position myself because we were in the parking lot and I'm like she's like, why are you moving so much? I'm like I didn't want to fucking get hit by the car first of all. Oh, you drove her there. No, no, no. I met her there and then she went in to give me a hug and I put my hands on her hips. Oh, no, oh no, she lost her mind. Really, I can't believe you touched me. I was like, where did I touch you? I was like, is that not your hips? I was like I apologize. I was like I'm sorry if you feel offended. I was like now I see why you're single. Bye, bye. I fucking walked to my truck and walked off and I fucking blocked her.
Speaker 2:Wow, un-fucking-believable dude, what a twat. It's like looking at Tom Oser it's very hard to keep your eyes up. Yeah, definitely, especially because of his hog, I mean when he walks around in those assless chaps, you know. And it was Like I was. We were just sitting there talking and just Okay, okay, okay, okay, like that was her contribution to the conversation. Oh, my God. Well, she, just she wasn't even divorced yet. Oh, red flag too. Then she's like she never got married. But I just stayed together with him. I was like what, For what, dude, people are crazy. And then all like next, you know, red flag here. Fucking referee came across the fucking room, he threw another flag and I was like I got to get the fuck out of here and I'm sitting there.
Speaker 2:I'm like I got to be the nice guy and pay for this shit. Fucking waste, unbelievable. What'd she have to drink? That's a good question. Oh, it was fucking sangria. I was like, oh yeah, look at that. Fucking fermented, fucking grapes and cunts unbelievable, you know.
Speaker 2:So, you, you women out there, let me tell you something. I'm going to give you a little tidbit of information. If you're looking to date, be fucking, you know, just don't be an asshole. Stop interrupting when somebody's in. Just the, the, okay shit and motherfuckers. Be honest, that's it, just be honest. Uh, you know, I'm out there fucking putting myself. I'm very vulnerable and I don't, you know, I don't like being vulnerable, especially with the ghosts. You know this. But it's. You sit there, you chit-chat for a while, you kind of get the background of somebody and you know where they're coming from and you pull shit like that eat a dick. Matter of fact, take it deep. Okay, hey-o, and that's the way we're going to end the show tonight Boom yeah, good old mating game. Way. We're going to end the show tonight Boom yeah, good old, the mating game. So hopefully things continue with the number one selection Tune in next week for another edition of the mating game.
Speaker 2:There's probably going to be no addition to the mating game. Hopefully I'll be like I went on a second date Great. Hopefully there's no nightmare after that. Kevin will be back next week. Hopefully we get to the mating game segment. I thought insurance is covered in 90 days at AA. Are we firing him for three months? I think we should fire him. The show's running a lot smoother and there's no interrupt. You guys talk all day. Now you're making him a stuttering prick. So what if she drinks a lot? You know.
Speaker 1:Yikes.
Speaker 2:But you women out there, if some dirtbag broke your heart doesn't mean the next guy's going to be an asshole. Play it straight.
Speaker 2:Yes there's a lot of guys out there that are assholes, but there's a lot of guys out there who are nice guys, plain and simple. And if you're going to be a fucking cunt, stay off the sites. Yeah, yeah, definitely stay off the fucking sites because they're way too expensive and ain't no one got time for your shit. Moral of the story is don't give any of those sites your fucking debit card. The story is don't give any of those sites your fucking debit card, okay, because they don't tell you when it's renewing. You have to remember. And, by the way, it's going to be in your subscriptions on your Apple phone, so you have to cancel from there. Thank God I got that one the day before they were in charge of me. Like 60 bucks, yikes, crazy, crazy, ridiculous. So if you're out there, you're vulnerable. Kev didn't like the. We're firing him, so what Tough shit? Hr said his behavior is out of control.
Speaker 2:Just leave the basement door unlocked on Fridays, imagine it got to the point where Kevin comes out and unlocks the door and walks upstairs. Thanks for letting us come in the studio. We'll leave you $20 a week on the table on the way out, so we just expect some type of food when we come in. And then you got to get out. We'll pay extra for craft services Because you have to get your treatment.
Speaker 2:Dude, you can't be like being in this environment. It's like the X being at Gappy. Dude, you can't be being in this environment. It's like the ex being a Gappies. You can't be in that environment. You've got to get right. Yeah, you've got to get yourself right. Admit the problem, say your apologies. We're here for you. I'm not even going to leave this bottle of Woodford here. Oh, when are interviews for the vacant chair, tom? We can actually start those interviews next week, tommy. Oh, when are interviews for the vacant chair, tom? We can actually start those interviews next week, tommy O, we'll send you the link. You can jump on anytime. Sure, sure, you were never fired, you left. Yeah, bro, seriously, you were like the chicks who don't show up on dates. You vacated the state. You're like the chicks who don't respond to messages. Just because you blocked Pat doesn't mean you can't come on the show, you ghosted us. Oh God, we had something nice, I thought. Did Kevin put a black? What is that? What? What's the fucking thing here? I can't even see it?
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't even see that one. What did he do? What is it? Oh, yeah, it was a black middle finger. Okay, all right. On that note, ladies and gentlemen, thanks, alps. Thank you for joining us for a beautiful therapy session Friday nights with the TID show. Yeah, the good old mating game and spaceships. Keep an eye out for that 12-mile-long spaceship. Assuming Tom Schmidt Depends what state you're in Florida. Oh, it's Florida, it's probably Tom Schmidt, so we'll be back next week.
Speaker 1:Hopefully.
Speaker 2:Kevin's fully recovered. We'd like to see him back on the show if he's well. I don't know, I don't know. We've got to start putting water in the liquor bottles. Fuck, we do For his liquor bottles, not yours. Okay, that's fine, with a little something in there, doesn't matter. Can't expect me to get through this fucking thing without any booze. That's why I've been drinking so much is when he drinks heavy. I'm like I just want to forget it. I need to battle his drinking with my drinking Turning me into a fucking addict. It's so bad. But thank you for joining us once again on the fine episode of the Take it Deep Show Next week Orbs Intervention. Oh, and I totally forgot to mention the next couple of episodes. I'm going to reach out to that gentleman who I sent you, who's friends with? Oh yeah, he's friends with Donnie Brosco, the real Donnie Brosco, the real Donnie Brosco. Actually, I was watching a couple clips of Donnie talk some shit with Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that shit was crazy yeah.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute, I have his card If you're interested. I also have somebody who comes on, who's a big boxing Boxing guy. Historian, knows a lot of shit about boxing, used to have a podcast about it. What's his name? It's one of my clients, mike Tyson. No, I mean, I thought that would be cool, so I don't know that he'd be able to hang with us. He'd probably fucking come here and look to knock somebody the fuck out. So the gentleman what the fuck? The gentleman's name is Ralph Friedman, and the reason why, when I saw him at the event that we were doing for work, I'm like God. He looks so familiar. He has a show on the Discovery Channel, oh Street Justice, the Bronx. So he's a retired cop from the city. Does a show about all of the crazy kids? Really stupid question.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, uh-huh, Is he like maybe my height?
Speaker 2:a little taller than me, bushy mustache. No, okay, no, he's on Hulu. Hulu, yeah, he has a book out Uh-huh Street Warrior Detective Ralph Friedman and because of that he got a show from it. But he knows he's personal friends with Donnie Brasco and so I had asked him would you like to come on the show? He said he would love to. So I'm going to reach out to him. You should. I would love to hear your stories. Oh yeah, dude, cool dude, really nice guy, just straightforward, and we'll see what we can do. And maybe possibility, maybe Donnie Brosco.
Speaker 2:Doubt that, imagine we get Donnie Brosco on the show. I don't think that'll ever happen.
Speaker 1:Why not?
Speaker 2:Why not have him get a hold of them? Maybe get them on together? I mean, can I tell Don that I was rooting for lefty guns in the movie? I mean, is that wrong? Is that not right? I was hoping they figured you out, but it didn't happen. I can hear you, oh sorry. Was I talking out loud. I apologize, but once again, hopefully we get Ralph on the show in next future fucking episodes.
Speaker 1:Excellent.
Speaker 2:We got a couple new episodes coming out to Spotify soon. Yes, beautiful, I've just been fucking so ridiculous this week with the fucking fair. It's been insane. I'm not breaking your balls, I've just been fucking so ridiculous this week with the fucking fair. It's been insane.
Speaker 1:I'm not breaking your balls.
Speaker 2:I'm just asking questions. I'm breaking my own balls. I came, dude, no joke. I came home last was it last night From the fair and I had so much work to do. I got like two quotes done and I'm like I can't even fucking. How many days are you going to be at the fair? I'm going to be there tomorrow from 1 to 6. Okay, and then I'm not there Sunday. Is that the end of the fair this weekend, correct, fuck?
Speaker 2:I missed this fucking thing again, it hasn't been that great. Oh really, numbers have been down. We had rain the other night. Yesterday was decent, gary and I got a bunch of fucking appointments. Tomorrow should be real busy, so that time period I'm going to be at I should get a ton of appointments. I want you to come by and throw a corn dog at you.
Speaker 2:Gay pink shirt working OT. No, kevin, wow, wow. There's another fucking demerit to HR. Okay, here we go. This guy Fucking coming out gay pink shirt, you know what? He must have drank a bottle within the last 45 minutes because he's saying that shit. He's definitely had a couple drinks since he called in. Very angry, very angry. Can't believe you brought that up, disgusting. So what if I look pale and pacey with a fucking pink shirt on and look like I was going on a gay cruise? Who hasn't? I haven't, okay. Anyways, thank you for joining us. Ladies and gentlemen, until next time, me and Matt, fuck Kev what we do in life. Take it deep. Take it deep, kev, and use it in eternity. Orbs, we'll just leave these glasses here for you to clean up when you get home. No-transcript.
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