The Take It Deep Show
Welcome to the TID Show, where a dynamic group of friends fearlessly dive into the unfiltered realities of life. With a raw and uncensored approach, we'll have you laughing uncontrollably. Join us on this roller coaster journey through the beautifully chaotic shit storm of life. If you're up for a candid exploration of the ups, downs, and everything in between, you're in for an unforgettable experience. Ready to take the plunge? Welcome to the depths of TID!
The Take It Deep Show
THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE: Three Guys And Three Jersey Women Try To Fix Modern Dating While The Studio Falls Apart
Send us your thoughts and possible requests for show topics.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SHOW
What happens when three opinionated hosts invite three Jersey women to dissect modern dating with zero filters and a lot of receipts? Sparks fly, rules get rewritten, and the truth about apps, scams, red flags, and real chemistry spills out in full color. We set the tone with tech chaos and holiday snark, then dive into the meat of it: why Hinge roses and premium paywalls turn connection into microtransactions, how filters and height inflation erode trust, and why chatting for weeks only breeds projections. The women’s stories are brutally relatable—scammers with overseas “bank lockouts,” rent-ask bots, and first dates that fizzle after two Foreigner songs—while the guys admit the male versions of self-sabotage, hedging, and performance-mode dating.
We push for a saner playbook: meet faster, keep the first date short and public, and cut your chat queue to two or three to lower the noise. Single parents get real about time: kid ages, custody rhythms, and mom guilt can derail momentum even when the spark is real. The crew doesn’t shame meds or history; they call for honesty. If there’s an antipsychotic on the list and you’re hiding it, that’s different from being transparent about everyday treatment and showing stability. We laugh about museum marathons, karaoke misses, and the worst selfie angles on Earth, but the takeaways stay sharp: use current photos, drop the filters, and write profiles that sound like your actual life. Offer a clear plan, respect boundaries, and notice who shows up like they text.
By the end, we land on a hopeful note that isn’t naive. Apps are tools, not casinos. You can set a tighter radius, meet sooner, protect your drink and your time, and still stay open enough to let something real start. If you’ve felt burned out, this conversation will leave you with practical steps, better filters for red flags, and a reminder that a good laugh can reset your dating mindset. If you enjoyed the ride, follow the show, share this episode with a friend who’s swiping, and leave a quick review—it helps more listeners find us and keeps the good conversations coming.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fine episode of this fabulous Friday. November 7th. Welcome to another fine episode.
SPEAKER_07:November 7th, huh? November 7th. Thanksgiving's not that far away.
SPEAKER_08:We're screaming toward the holidays, boys.
SPEAKER_07:Couple weeks, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I the fact that you just said that. I want to punch you in the face.
SPEAKER_08:I am gonna be drunk and disorderly till January. Here we go.
SPEAKER_10:It's not nice in 40 years. Has not changed.
SPEAKER_08:No.
SPEAKER_10:No, I'm consistent. I'm just gonna set up their camera now. You know, get everything all set if this you know mouse was ever cool. And we're okay.
SPEAKER_07:Look at them all sitting proper. So proper.
SPEAKER_10:Okay. Watch what's gonna you know exactly what's gonna happen. The fucking feed's gonna go down.
SPEAKER_08:We're gonna move the studio from Connecticut to somewhere else.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, fucking Kabul. Alright. Alright. We got them all set up. Um so what Maddie has done, very impressed. Very impressed. Alright. So I mean, the past few weeks we've been going over my dating life and how that's been.
SPEAKER_07:Fascinating.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, it's it's absolutely wonderful.
SPEAKER_08:Um you may have you may have heard us call it the mating game. Look at this guy. Who's that?
SPEAKER_10:It's Billy already. Not even close. Not even close. And I don't have my phone Bluetooth, Billy. You know what? He just fucking smelled the women on the other end of the room. Right? No, there's no way he's getting on. No way.
SPEAKER_07:Stay away from men like Billy.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah. All right. So we've gone off the prowess of my dating life. How um we can't we can't see them on uh Facebook, by the way. I know because I haven't transitioned over yet. Sorry. For the love of God. Let me shut the fuck up. I'm gonna fucking knock one of them.
SPEAKER_08:I'm sorry, I'm gonna shut it sooner or later. I'm gonna shut the fuck up now.
SPEAKER_10:All right. So just like that, that's what that's in that many words, that's my dating life. Um so I've gone over horror stories of the dating apps and the cost of the dating apps, the filters, the So nuts, and the non-pure fucking don't know what they're looking for type of voicemail from William.
SPEAKER_08:Bill, take it easy. We got it all fucking technical difficulties.
SPEAKER_07:We'll get you on, bro. You better not be calm.
SPEAKER_08:Just stay.
SPEAKER_07:We'll get you on.
SPEAKER_08:Just just stay calm.
SPEAKER_07:Wait for the call.
SPEAKER_10:Had a couple hits and misses, you know, ones I thought were gonna work out, but you know how those went. You you read some self-sabotage books and uh oh, there we go. I mean, that's still going.
SPEAKER_07:Right.
SPEAKER_10:For the love of God. We should probably stop that.
SPEAKER_07:Everything's probably drowned out, too, like I said last time, right?
SPEAKER_10:No, it's not on this, though, because this was down. Shut up, man. Newboard Friday. Uh new intro. Bam. Alright, cool. Anywho, um moving right along. So, you know, I've had uh I've had ones I thought that that went great, and then uh three hours later I'm told sh you know, self self-sabotage book changed.
SPEAKER_07:That was crazy.
SPEAKER_10:Self-sabotage book was sabotaged. And sweet girl.
SPEAKER_07:Um, but no, it's she's got shit to work out, man. So you're better off.
SPEAKER_10:Do we have uh all three names of of our guests?
SPEAKER_08:Oh, I'm supposed to know that.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, come on.
SPEAKER_08:It's it's it's my friend Kristen and a couple of her friends, Pam and um I don't remember. I don't remember I don't remember to Kathy. There we go. Kathy. Look at that.
SPEAKER_07:Which one's Kathy? Raise your hand, Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:Whoever unmuted.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, all right. Kathy's in the middle. All right, I'm gonna concentrate on the one. Don't worry.
SPEAKER_10:You guys will see yourselves in about two minutes. Sounds like a party. There's Billy. Oh no. I could just he's already in the chat. Yeah. So what Maddie has done is got keep him there. Three of the opposite sex on the other side, and we're gonna discuss how it is on their end.
SPEAKER_07:And they're all daters?
SPEAKER_10:The female perspective. I mean, you heard them talking before the show, I think.
SPEAKER_07:Like they're all single, right?
SPEAKER_08:Kristen is not single.
SPEAKER_07:Okay. All right. But I but I have driven through she's like Heidi Flace. I have driven through life with Chris Christmas through a couple of husbands, a few boys.
SPEAKER_10:Are they down in Jersey? What? Are they down in Jersey? Yes, they are. Oh, so dirty jerse. Perfect.
SPEAKER_08:No, Bill, they're not feminists.
SPEAKER_10:This is so gonna end bad.
SPEAKER_08:Fucking Muhammadani's cousins already trying to fucking hijack the show.
SPEAKER_10:Ladies, since Matt is a uh terrible, terrible person and can't remember anybody's names. Let's introduce ourselves the women from New Jersey. All right, take it. We can hear you. Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Um I'm gonna let the single ladies go first. Well, all right, I'll start because Matt and I have been friends since 22, 23.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, well, you have you have less torture then. That's all I know.
SPEAKER_03:What's that? Age 22. Yeah, age 22. Oh, okay. So um we met in the insurance industry, and uh, I don't know. We've been through a lot in our lives, right?
SPEAKER_08:Just you know, we've shared life. We've shared a lot of stories.
SPEAKER_10:Wait, quick question. This hopefully this does not hurt your feelings. Did you ever work together? I know how Maddie's been in the insurance company. Were you ever a stripper? It's just a quick question.
SPEAKER_03:No, but I will tell you we used to go to the city.
SPEAKER_07:I just wanted to make sure. Wait, who laughed? Who laughed loud like that? I want to know who laughed loud like that.
SPEAKER_08:Chris, can you say that one more time, please?
SPEAKER_07:What was that?
SPEAKER_03:I said we used to end up at the strip clubs when we were we would go out drinking.
SPEAKER_07:Who's the loud laugher, though? Somebody's giggling. Who? Kathy. Kathy, okay, sweet.
SPEAKER_03:Hi, Kathy. Now she's our alter ego is kicking in because she's had two glasses of wine. So now she's dead.
SPEAKER_07:That's great. Hello, Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:Now Jesus, Kev, Kevin. Now we have the the sex pistol fucking terrorist. Oh my god, that's his new name. You need a porn name terrorist name, dude. Whatever that is. I can always deal with sex hijacking. The sex pistol on the left. All right, ladies. So here's okay, who which of you is using a dating app right now, and what dating apps are you using?
SPEAKER_03:Alright, so who wants to go first?
SPEAKER_05:Okay. I'm using Bumble.
SPEAKER_10:It's like six thousand dollars a month.
SPEAKER_05:And the one with the fire. Oh, Tinder.
SPEAKER_07:So how long have you been using it?
SPEAKER_05:Uh on and off for two and a half years.
SPEAKER_07:Oh wow.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, you could be on before we're black hole. You could be on there for a long time.
SPEAKER_08:Before we go any further, just everyone understand there are no rules when it comes to this. Okay. Speak freely, use whatever language you like.
SPEAKER_05:For the whole world to hear. Who who are we talking to besides Matt? What are everyone else's names?
SPEAKER_07:Oh, uh uh, my name's Kevin. Um, you sound like Chef from South Park. Wow. Wow, that that's uh that's a new one.
SPEAKER_08:Other than his chocolate salty balls, that's the only things they got in common.
SPEAKER_07:Okay. Who said that? Who said that?
SPEAKER_09:Shifted, bro.
SPEAKER_07:Not my girl Kathy. Kathy wouldn't say that. Um, and uh, this is Patrick.
SPEAKER_08:Jesus Christ, you guys are gonna have to drive up to Connecticut soon and come in the studio.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, yeah, when we get the couches in.
SPEAKER_13:Yeah, there's no door to sit yet.
SPEAKER_10:No, there's places to sit. It's just at a table, but we wanted a more relaxed feeling moving forward. Can you guys see us now?
SPEAKER_08:No.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_08:Damn this fucking shit. I kind of feel like you planned that.
SPEAKER_07:I wore my best hoodie.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, the world sees you. You guys can't see it. You know what? That keeps the anonymity, it keeps it actually a lot better, to be honest.
SPEAKER_08:Wait a second. You're on your laptop now, right? Yeah. Okay. So jump on your phone and go on Facebook. Oh, yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_10:And then you'll be able to see yourself.
SPEAKER_08:The TID show.
SPEAKER_10:Do us a favor, get 16 more electronical gadgets together. Combine those together, and you're gonna see us on Facebook.
SPEAKER_08:Listen, listen, fuck face. I don't know how else you want me to do it.
SPEAKER_10:Are you alive yet?
SPEAKER_05:What's it called? Oh my god, we're on your I see us. What's the name of the video? Oh, yeah, you are now.
SPEAKER_10:Look at it, wave to yourselves.
SPEAKER_05:What'd they get on it? What's the name of the mistake? We don't need to do it. I have it online.
SPEAKER_08:I don't know, no. By the way, Billy is so angry right now.
SPEAKER_10:I bet he is uh Billy Big Billy. Uh Billy, have you ever been close or next to a silverback gorilla? That is that is our close friend uh Big Billy, uh boots on the ground, driving around in uh semi trucks.
SPEAKER_05:Tell Billy Wayne's World. Tell Billy to close it out.
SPEAKER_07:Oh wow, they see us now. Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:I don't know if I should hang up after that Waynes World comments.
SPEAKER_07:Right? Like that's a little rough.
SPEAKER_10:There's no fucking mullet in this room.
SPEAKER_07:First of all, uh these two women's There's not even hair enough to make one. These two wanted to go with the ambience. I have a nice head of hair. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_10:You wanted to go with the ambiance of a friggin' uh secret spa.
SPEAKER_05:Can you see us or should we make the light brighter? No, we can see you.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, Matt, Matt Matt Matt's going bright light. Oh, we're going bright light. There it is.
SPEAKER_02:Everyone's got fucking something to say.
SPEAKER_10:Come in for the guy who always has something to say.
SPEAKER_07:We're in my mom's basement.
SPEAKER_10:Real dick, you are. First of all, pal, I honestly thought we were gonna get raided and and Nimchu was gonna get fucking arrested for being 58 years old and being a prostitute over here in the spa. That's the way it looked. Felt like that. Hello. Um, now with now who's who's using the dating app? Don't mind me. I'm not paying attention. I'm still slightly stoned. What?
SPEAKER_03:Raise your hand, Pam.
SPEAKER_10:Pam. All right, Pam. Oh, there you go. Easy to easy to remember. All right. So Pam. So, Pam, now have you found any success in the dating apps? And if you don't mind me asking, how how old of a of a wow woman are yourself? Don't mind me. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_05:I turned 56 last week.
SPEAKER_10:Okay. So it's it's gotta be hard as as not harder in the 40s. Dating in the 50s.
SPEAKER_08:Well, like Pat said, what what kind of have have you had any success or like what's your success? I mean Give us a story, Cam. Give us a story.
SPEAKER_05:Yes and no. I um I could give you a very unsuccessful story.
SPEAKER_07:Sweet. We love those.
SPEAKER_05:Okay. So he said his name was Stuart.
SPEAKER_09:Little?
SPEAKER_05:He said he lived maniloking.
unknown:What?
SPEAKER_05:And his pictures looked normal, like they were like he was a real person.
SPEAKER_08:Would you really want to date a Stuart? Like maybe if you said his name was fucking Stu or something, but Stuart wasn't even. So had a head like a football, a little oblong.
SPEAKER_05:We had a dog named George, I had a dog named George. We talked on the phone every day.
SPEAKER_10:So I wasn't nothing seemed wrong until he showed up in person and he was a little person.
SPEAKER_07:Wait, wait, what timeout? What? Say that again? Like rewind 10 seconds? What?
SPEAKER_05:He said that he had to go to Turkey on business. That he was an engineer. And I'm like, okay, whatever.
SPEAKER_11:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:So he's there. And he called me and said, I can't get into my bank.
SPEAKER_07:I'm locked out.
SPEAKER_05:So after three weeks of talking to Oh, you helped me get out of my bank. It was not store. Um, but I I knew it wasn't I, you know, and I psyched a buying that was it. But then he found me on Did you send any money? Oh god, no.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, all right, all right. Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_13:Just gift cards. Quick question. Just gift cards.
SPEAKER_10:Oh my god, that goes way back with gift cards.
SPEAKER_07:Right, right.
SPEAKER_10:Wait, wait, wait, quick, uh, quick question. Whoever's listening to the audio, just mute the audio that you guys are listening to.
SPEAKER_05:Mute the audio.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, because we're getting I'm not getting I'm getting feedback on it. I apologize. Oh, right. That's good.
SPEAKER_05:Is that better?
SPEAKER_10:Yep.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_10:Perfect, perfect, perfect.
SPEAKER_05:I got you, Pat.
SPEAKER_09:So thank you very much.
SPEAKER_05:What I've learned from this is don't talk to someone on the phone more than a few times before you meet them.
SPEAKER_10:Okay. So we see this is the problem. Get in it, Pat. This is the problem I find. All right. It's very simple. I'm old school, and the fact that I have to I'm I still got this glue on the bottom of my sneaker is ridiculous. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_07:No, that's we're good. Pat stepped in a glue trap for a mouse earlier.
SPEAKER_10:So I'm a I'm a very I'm a very genuine person. I'm uh old school, hopeless, romantic. The second anybody reads that he loves walks on the beach. Yeah, you know, come on. Quiet sunsets better than that, you know, cuddling on rainy days. Beautiful. Listening to fucking Mozart. I mean, come on. My my issue is this is 95% of the women I have run into on any dating app either just recently got out of a relationship and I mean, I don't know if they're looking for a quick fix or just a buddy to talk to, or the rest of them have no clue what they really want in a relationship. Even after you talk about it and say exactly what you want, they're like, oh yeah, I totally want that. The second it starts, it's uh I just read a self-s self-sabotage book, and uh, unfortunately I got to work on myself, and uh, this is bad timing. All right, so I I feel like it's a cop out.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like it's a cop. Well, of course, I for I think people are playing, you know, using these online platforms as a game more than anything. Because nobody organically goes out and meets people anymore.
SPEAKER_10:So it's like the one night stand on the app. Like exactly, right? Listen, in my 20s, cool, that would have been great. In my 20s, it was great. I'm not gonna lie. Um, now in my 40s, and just just being like, you know, this is I want something simple and with a with a genuine human being, but instead, my first questions are usually what medications are you taking?
SPEAKER_07:Not a bad, not a bad first question.
SPEAKER_10:It's not a bad opener. I'm not gonna lie. Valid question. You know, and what do they tell you?
SPEAKER_02:What are they on?
SPEAKER_10:Uh you can just like I had a uh a girl who I was talking to for like two weeks. Remember the one I told you? Yeah, yeah, tell the story. So supposedly like her her ex-boyfriend like robbed her her place and took her Adderall. Right? Ironically, I'm prescribed Adderall. So I just started asking questions. And what did she ask you, Pat? Well, this is what well let me let me go over the 32 red flags before I said uh this is probably a bad idea. So I I I was I was uh I felt like Grissom on CSI. I was asking a lot of uh open-ended questions, and I was like, Oh yeah, you take Adderall too. I was like, so do I. And then she tells me what she's prescribed. I don't know if she was lying or she's actually the size of a horse because she would get she would get three 30 milligram extended release throughout the day, and then those are monstrous.
SPEAKER_04:All right, I what does an average person get?
SPEAKER_10:I I get prescribed, I take three times a year. You have to take it at the the correct time because if you miss an hour, like I take it, I stop it at four, it's my last one. If I go past that, but how many milligrams do you take? I take 60 milligrams a day, three times a day. Okay, so I am I'm I am a my attention as an adult has gone to straight up rubbish. I I if it does not interest me, I'll sit there and just be like Alright, cool. You know, it's I got I gotta do this or else I'm gonna be a bob. Exactly. Totally exactly. So but the thing is, it's it's what concerns me is um that it's almost like you're no matter what, you're gonna come into a relationship, everybody's gonna have baggage. Of course. Right? Especially as you get older. Most women that I run into are afraid to open up that bag. Listen, it's I'm not gonna fucking judge you because of what happened in the past, but I mean, you know, depending on the people. You are depending on what you did in the past. You are judging. You are, don't you? But that's that's the thing. It's like once you get to something to where it it seems like most of the females I meet, if they know something or it feels right, they're afraid because they think the worst is always going to happen because of what happened in their past. Self-sabotage. Yes.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:What is up with that?
SPEAKER_05:I you know what I I I have is a sense mechanism.
SPEAKER_10:Why though? And then what's the reason? What is so it's almost like uh you shoot yourself in the foot regardless. Even if you're looking for the right thing, you're gonna end up doing the wrong thing. The definition of insanity. Yes, that's why I'm crazy.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, so I got a question. Like, did did do you girls find that there's a male version of that when you're dating? Right?
SPEAKER_09:Yes.
SPEAKER_07:Like of like you you talking about the girls, no doubt about it. You know, like that there has to be like male versions of that.
SPEAKER_08:Feel free to cut off Kevin because he can he can ramble on for an hour trying to make his point.
SPEAKER_11:Oh, whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, come on, man.
SPEAKER_02:Kevin, I I just want to get your voice reading anything, and I'm gonna fall asleep to it.
SPEAKER_10:And turn you're gonna turn the treble down. Turn the treble treble down and the base up.
SPEAKER_07:Treble down, baby. Was that Kathy?
SPEAKER_11:I love Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:Did Kathy say that? Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_09:Hi, hi Hamber.
SPEAKER_05:She's great on a hypnosis. I know, right?
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Hamber. Like, I don't know what it is. Like, Kathy, are you? Like, like is Kathy, is is Kathy Northern Jersey?
SPEAKER_08:She's oh really?
SPEAKER_07:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_08:Now, could you stop stroking it for a second?
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:Jesus God.
unknown:Sorry.
SPEAKER_10:Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_07:On the table? Okay.
SPEAKER_10:So now, Pam, have you yes, that's the second hour. Here's a quick question, too, because they they kind of make these these then they don't kind of they make these dating apps so absolutely ridiculous to where you can't view people who like you unless you like them, and you gotta pay like six million dollars a month. Have you been paying any memberships to any of the No, I never did.
SPEAKER_05:Um just bumble, and it was a lifetime membership, and I think it was like not very optimistic.
SPEAKER_10:It's like$2,500 and you gotta give up your first child. Six thousand dollars.
SPEAKER_13:A lifetime membership to a dating app. That's not promising.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, you're gonna be dating the rest of your life.
SPEAKER_08:You better get that like, you know, this is this is the problem. This is the difference. A woman, a woman will pay a lifetime membership to a dating app, and a guy will just go to a problem.
SPEAKER_10:I have a problem paying with a week. It's it's crazy.
SPEAKER_03:You only hope you have to pay.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, that's the no, because what you should be paying for is is drinks rather than likes.
SPEAKER_08:Well, it's it's unfortunately, it's the world we live in.
SPEAKER_07:I think we have to run like that's what's crazy to me about the whole dating app thing, man. Like, like what happened to going out to bars, like running into somebody and like like talking, you know, like meeting, you know, like there's a fear of going out and getting out of your fucking norm. Really?
SPEAKER_10:Is there really that's what it is? Okay, I think it's a fear of drunk driving. Yeah, it's it's the same thing.
SPEAKER_03:I don't think COVID helped.
SPEAKER_10:No, it's are you kidding? We we have more psychosis because of COVID.
SPEAKER_03:Not for nothing. I think the phones and like just everybody's tied into staying at home.
SPEAKER_07:The ease the access and the ease.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I could door dash. Actually, I could door dash a fucking shot right now if I wanted to. I mean, COVID crippled the young people.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, it's just it's crazy. Yeah, like Tinder and all that kind of thing.
SPEAKER_08:Like, but that you know, all right. So so wait a second, wait a second. I I got a question because I've much as I've enjoyed Pat's stories over the last month or so.
SPEAKER_10:I'm so happy you like my misfortunes.
SPEAKER_08:It makes me smile.
SPEAKER_10:I hope you fall out of your little fucking step stool.
SPEAKER_08:Fucking hate you.
SPEAKER_10:There you go. When you're here, let's get you up on some phone books so they can see you.
SPEAKER_08:How about shut the fuck up for a minute? How about we do that? Can we try that for a second?
SPEAKER_07:Let the man talk, bro. Come on, man.
SPEAKER_09:I just wanted to say that one.
SPEAKER_07:Let him talk.
SPEAKER_09:I'm sorry I said it, but it was funny.
SPEAKER_07:It's good. It was good. Moving on. It was funny. Moving on.
SPEAKER_08:All right. So when you guys are on dating apps, are you talking to like fucking 15, 18 guys, and then you're weeding it out? But you gotta have you gotta have at least a few conversations going, right?
SPEAKER_13:Yes, and then you slowly weed it out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Well, what's your max number? Like you you running like five.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, no, the way the dating apps are going, you gotta have a good 50 running.
SPEAKER_07:Well, two or three max. My number's way off. It's respectable, you know.
SPEAKER_08:It is. I I don't know if I believe it.
SPEAKER_07:Was that Kathy?
SPEAKER_08:Kathy, give give Kristen your contact information. Tell her to text it to me so I can give it to Kevin.
SPEAKER_04:He's got it.
SPEAKER_10:We'll take out the silent ninja upstairs.
SPEAKER_08:I mean, if not if nothing else, you can just call him when you go to bed and he can talk to you. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_12:All right. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_08:That is a special subscription service, though.
SPEAKER_13:$200 for life?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, it's Kevin's OnlyFans page.
SPEAKER_07:Is that a seven y'all blog?
SPEAKER_13:Only OnlyFans page.
SPEAKER_10:$40 a week to keep it. Bro, I can I can hear the phone vibrating with your voice, and I'm getting like a half a chub. I'm like, that's nice.
SPEAKER_05:Take it out of your pocket.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, there you go, Kev. Um now uh it it's been extra there's only oh my god, I can't even tell. I used hinge, I used bumble, I used tinder, I used um match, which is awful.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, so like all those, like how much you like dumping into that? Like, what is that called?
SPEAKER_10:There's only a handful handful that I paid for, and once I saw the prices of everything, I'm like, this is crazy. Because there's was it Hinge has a thing, roses. If you want to like they'll give you one for for the week, right?
SPEAKER_12:What the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_10:It's like you give roses like you give it to somebody who's like who you think is more special, yeah, yeah. The special ones, the special ed ones, special and in order to get more three of them more roses, three of them are like thirteen dollars for roses. Bro, they have micro transactions within the fucking app. Oh my god, man.
SPEAKER_07:See, like that's uh that's absolutely insane. Like, but before you actually get to talk to a a person, you you bought someone like four drinks. You get you know, like just go out to the bar. Like, what happened to that?
SPEAKER_08:Billy wants to know if anybody has tried grinder.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:That's for isn't that for gay?
SPEAKER_10:No, it's for Billy. It's for Billy and his silverback friends. He's just look, he's just looking for people with like minded qualities, Billy. God, look at this. He's just like he hijacks the chat, right? Everything. I love you, Billy. Abu Jafar Mohammedani. Um, so my issue is this, though. It's you I there's people out there who know what they want. Um there's people who are honest about it. There's some people who think they're being honest about it, but in reality, they're still dealing with their fucking baggage.
SPEAKER_08:Right.
SPEAKER_10:And regardless, nobody wants to go out and grab a goddamn drink.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, all the time. Yeah, we go out all the time. We're generating it.
SPEAKER_07:And there's nothing out there, like nothing worth like unless nothing.
SPEAKER_13:I think the reason that the sites work is because it narrows it down so much. It narrows down to the right age, the right location, what some of his own.
SPEAKER_10:What app are you using? I use Facebook fucking dating thing, and I'm getting 600 miles away. Oh, this is a good match.
SPEAKER_05:You have to fix it.
SPEAKER_10:There's a oh no, I I do that. It's it's regardless. Facebook still fucks you some way, somehow.
SPEAKER_05:But I'm just saying, you can narrow it down a lot on the apps versus sitting at a bar. There might be one eligible person that's the right age.
SPEAKER_10:And yeah, and she's taking a selfie at the end of the bar. Huge turn off.
SPEAKER_05:I gotta or they're sitting looking at their phone all night and and eating cheese doodles.
SPEAKER_10:Good old cheese doodles.
SPEAKER_05:Have you done any like singles groups, Pat?
SPEAKER_10:Groups, singles groups, huh? That sounds fun.
SPEAKER_05:Like meetup groups.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, meetup groups. Uh I am the last person that needs to be meeting up in a group anywhere. Um you're not group friendly. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm I'm very I'm a social butterfly.
SPEAKER_07:It's just shit's gonna hit the you're not selling yourself right now.
SPEAKER_10:No, I don't give a shit. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's it's I'm I'm just a simple person where I don't need to be out with a group of people where it's just between the two of you. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05:Can you read us your profile?
SPEAKER_10:My profile?
SPEAKER_05:No fish.
SPEAKER_10:Uh bumble, I don't have any more. I don't have any more dating apps except I want to hear your profile.
SPEAKER_07:Who's asking, by the way?
SPEAKER_05:The question of the dead fish.
SPEAKER_07:It's not Kathy, is it? Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_12:Right here, baby.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:It's unbelievable, Kevin. Can you read us your profile? Yeah, I'm looking for it, right? You settled. You need to get a little bit of patience, ladies.
SPEAKER_03:My patience. No, that is not my best virtue at all.
SPEAKER_10:Um, this is very single father of an amazing 16-year-old son who's my world. I'm the youngest of five siblings and have a uh tight-knit family. Um, an old school who's uh hopeless romantic, but 110% into the person I'm with and expect the same in return. I'm looking for a woman who's emotionally stable and mature that doesn't play mind games, one who knows what she wants and has a great head on her shoulders. These dating apps have been horrible.
SPEAKER_07:Wow, it's an important thing.
SPEAKER_10:Listen, yeah. Where's where's the diamond in the rough? Who wants a genuine?
SPEAKER_05:That's what I said.
SPEAKER_10:Where's the diamond in the rough? Honestly, I would I would date you. That's I would date myself for that goddamn fucking profile. And that wasn't AI generated.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:No, I you sound nice. I would date you.
SPEAKER_07:I think I'm just I'm very I I hope that was Pam and not Kathy.
SPEAKER_13:I don't have anything in my profile.
SPEAKER_10:Um, no, it's it's I'm I'm extremely I think it's I'm extremely jaded because of all the bullshit nonsense, to be honest with you. Uh to where where it's so hard to find actually somebody who's who's a genuine person out there and doesn't bullshit in and has somebody on the side waiting, whatever it may be. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05:You know, I don't have that attitude for some reason. I don't know why, but I'm still staying very positive about all this because there's been so many disappointments.
SPEAKER_10:Uh don't get me wrong. I'm not I'm not a negative person. Uh no, no, I I know. You meant the dating part. Yeah, the whole it's it's hard to be positive about something when it's you're it's a literally a full-time job and you're going through a job interview to see if you throw off any red flags.
SPEAKER_05:You know what I have found that that that seems to work for me? Um not to spend too much time. Um it's to me, I like to just meet in person quicker, and then this way you know you know right away then.
SPEAKER_10:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I agree. Yeah, don't waste too much time. No, I don't because I don't have time for all that.
SPEAKER_10:Or or if you get it's like like Maddie said earlier, the amount of people that that women must be talking to, because then I'll match with somebody, I'll send a message and sit there for I could sit there and and probably count money or something for the rest of my life and not and they won't respond back. So I'm like, that's when you know, like that's just uh that's somebody from Turkey, that's somebody from Turkey.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly on an oil rig somewhere.
SPEAKER_10:Yes. I'd probably rather be I'd rather rather be on the oil rig somewhere than in what? I I'd rather be on an oil rig somewhere than going through these dating apps. It's brutal.
SPEAKER_05:So where do you live?
SPEAKER_10:In Connecticut? No, I'm in uh Patterson, New York.
SPEAKER_05:Madison or Patterson?
SPEAKER_10:Yep, Madison, Wisconsin. I'm sorry, what Pasadena, California.
SPEAKER_13:Patterson in New York, really? Is there a slot in Patterson? City State Patterson? Yes, there is.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, Jersey don't own Patterson.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah. You know? There's not just one Patterson.
SPEAKER_05:But Kristen won't let me wear the hearing.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, no wonder why. She's wearing her fucking AirPods. Oh, fucker.
SPEAKER_08:Disconnect the airpods.
SPEAKER_10:Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There's only one asshole in this room, and then there's only one that's allowed, and that's Maddie.
SPEAKER_07:You're not calling Kathy an asshole, are you? Hi, Kathy. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_03:I said I'm gonna change my shirt having a hot flash. Yeah. Welcome to the 50s. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I got a few more years for that. Thank God.
SPEAKER_05:If you get hot flashes, I'll worry about you.
SPEAKER_10:Um, I would probably worry about myself too.
SPEAKER_08:All right. Well, Pat eats a lot of soy.
SPEAKER_07:Totally.
SPEAKER_08:No, Kevin, are you dating also?
SPEAKER_12:Kevin.
SPEAKER_07:Oh no, I I am not dating. I I'm not. I'm taking some time off from dating.
SPEAKER_10:But but he could be back in a pool soon.
SPEAKER_12:You're married.
SPEAKER_10:Hi, Kathy. Depends on who gets smothered tonight. We'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_12:Okay, don't do it.
SPEAKER_11:Pat.
SPEAKER_08:No, I'm the only idiot who's dating. Talking on the phone's not cheating. I can't.
SPEAKER_11:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Pat, Pat, how many dates are you got? Are you going on a month?
SPEAKER_08:Are you kidding me? Pat, run, run down your last your last three connections, please.
SPEAKER_10:Well, one was the drug addict who asked me about. How much adderall? Then when I asked her, I was like, hey, are you using more than you're prescribed? She did not like that question.
SPEAKER_03:Ask you for a friend.
SPEAKER_10:You're gonna sit here and tell me what to do. I'm like, no, no, never mind. You just answered that question for me. And then and then there was so there was self-sabotage. Self-sabotage Jess, which was crazy because that was actually really good.
SPEAKER_08:Well, the fact that her name was Jess should have stopped you right there.
SPEAKER_10:This is true. This is true.
SPEAKER_05:Okay, let me just tell you that it's crystal with a K, then we have problems. It sounds to me like she was dating more than one person and decided to narrow it down, and you were out, and the other guy was in. And that's the soft blow.
SPEAKER_10:No, no. I think she was she was abusing Adderall too.
SPEAKER_08:But there was women at the clinic.
SPEAKER_10:But the one listen, there are easy catches.
SPEAKER_08:No, not at the clinic. Hi, I'm looking for I'm looking for daddy issues and a chemical dependency. Yes. Wow.
SPEAKER_10:Where where Maddie goes? Trip clubs, strip clubs, man. Come on. It's nothing wrong with strip clubs.
SPEAKER_13:What's the third one?
SPEAKER_10:Uh my third one was actually the one who went on a cruise. Yeah, the good one. Tell that tell that story.
SPEAKER_05:You went on a cruise with her? No.
SPEAKER_10:No, no, no. So her and I were talking for a few months. Um months. And months. Yeah, we were we were talking for a while.
SPEAKER_02:How many? Months.
SPEAKER_10:Uh it was it was a difficult situation due to the fact that she was a single mother and the ex-husband didn't really get involved in taking the daughter to give her time. Okay. So she always she always had her daughter.
SPEAKER_08:Right. Went out on a badass mopo. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:We went out on a on a date, went fucking great. Everything's fine. And I just, you know, you just started, sh she was so overwhelmed with everything because she would always talk about it. And I would just sit there and listen. You know, whatever. I was like, oh, maybe you can do this, maybe do this. No, this motherfucker won't do that. Okay. Meanwhile, extremely successful, um, gorgeous. Her and I hit it off, and she decided it's it'd be unfair to me due to the fact of how much time she has to spend with her daughter, which I I have to respect. I'm not gonna sit there and get mad at her.
SPEAKER_12:I don't agree. I think she maybe he wrote.
SPEAKER_10:No, she was I honestly think she was she was extremely genuine. She really was.
SPEAKER_03:I believe that.
SPEAKER_10:I believe that some people are just like they're No, I'll shoot her a text every now and again saying I'm thinking about her, whatever it may be. Did she answer? Yeah, really?
SPEAKER_05:How old is a kid, roughly?
SPEAKER_10:Uh don't know five or six. So that's a tough age.
SPEAKER_05:Oh that's a tough age.
SPEAKER_03:Plus, you have horrible like mom guilt, like clear kid. I get it. Um we're all single moms here. Like totally I I get it.
SPEAKER_10:No, I know. And like I have my I have my son, but I mean the help said he's 16 years old. You know, so I can bring him up.
SPEAKER_12:She's giving her kid first.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, which and and I can't and I can't. Well that that wasn't that wasn't a knock on this one. The knock was she went on a cruise, she had COVID.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, yeah. Or or the flu, or whatever you want to call it today. Yeah. And then and then and then contact got cut off. Was it no, was it after that? No, she got COVID on the cruise.
SPEAKER_10:Okay. Was it after that though? She went on the cruise and then. Oh no, we went to dinner first. Yeah, you went to dinner first, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. So did great place, by the way. Do you ladies think like having kids may like deter like sort of like connections? Have to be close and stuff?
SPEAKER_03:No, it's you know, like like how old the kids I think you should target people with older kids.
SPEAKER_07:Correct. No, I mean how old how old are your uh you said you were all single parents, um single moms, but like how old are the kids? Fucking billions.
SPEAKER_05:My kids are adults, say 19 and 23, but I I've been single for 10 years, whatever. And I wouldn't want to date somebody without kids.
SPEAKER_07:Is that Kathy? Right, okay. That's Kathy. Yes, that's Kathy. Well, I don't mind. Don't ask about Kathy. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:They don't get it, right? That's one thing. But because you need to, if you have children, you have to date somebody with children because then they they're like they really don't get it. But I think that you have to also target somebody that is in your your golden era.
SPEAKER_10:Like, I think so, like 18 to 21 is what you're saying.
SPEAKER_03:Oh in our 50s, we're looking for our most of us have children that like my daughter is in college. Pam and and her children are the same age as my my daughter, and they're they're well, they're all friends, and they're at college. Like we have older children, we are in empty nesters, like all of us.
SPEAKER_08:So so you're all free, and everyone's looking for a large cock, is what you're saying.
SPEAKER_11:Yeah, Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:Kathy, Kathy. Okay, time out, time out, time out, time out.
SPEAKER_04:You asked.
SPEAKER_07:See, Pat, this is what's gonna get us viewers. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02:Are we getting any good feedback on that? We are, we are.
SPEAKER_07:Hold on, hold on. We've heard Pat's a little sound bite here.
SPEAKER_11:Giggity giggity giggity giggy. Let's have sex.
SPEAKER_07:I just wanted to say, Kathy. My my youngest is in grad school. Okay.
SPEAKER_08:I'm sorry, can you say it again, Kevin?
SPEAKER_07:My youngest is in grad school.
SPEAKER_08:Let the boy.
SPEAKER_05:And you're other and you have a six game involved.
SPEAKER_07:No, I have a teen year old. Not me.
SPEAKER_05:Oh.
SPEAKER_07:Not me, no. No, my my main. Youngest year old.
SPEAKER_05:Do you have you have a son, you said?
SPEAKER_10:Yes.
SPEAKER_05:16?
SPEAKER_10:Correct.
SPEAKER_05:Gotta love the teenage ears.
SPEAKER_10:Uh, unless they're vaping in the bathroom. And get caught by their fucking an aide in the hall. That we could do without. So my yeah, my school bathroom? Yeah, my son got caught vaping in the school bathroom. Like he was handing out Lucy's. I mean, come on.
SPEAKER_05:My son got in my car and he's like, Mom, is it alright if I vape in here? I'm like, how about if you don't ever vape?
SPEAKER_10:Here's the better one. A week before that, I'm doing laundry and a weed pen falls out of my son's pocket. I'm like, this motherfucker. So I took it. Was it was it better than what you get? I took a few hits off it. I'm like, this is pretty good stuff. But you know what? You're still gonna have consequences. Yeah, I are. But I can't get mad at the he's it's my the relationship I have my son is the most important relationship I have. Uh he's a great kid. I've never yelled at him, never gotten angry, just scolded him on stupid shit. But when I get a call from the assistant principal saying that he has two days of in-school suspension, you hear her on the other side like refraining from asking certain questions because how I'm gonna react to him. And at the school, my brother's a guide. My brother's a guidance counselor. And my brother called me before I went in. He's like, listen, take it easy on him. He has he's feeling really bad about it. He just broke down to me. I'm like, he's gonna fucking break down when I walk inside that room. Because I was so angry. But I I couldn't get mad at him. He was his biggest thing was uh being upset that I I was mad at him, but I wasn't mad at him. So we had a nice little conversation.
SPEAKER_08:I feel like we went from the women's perspective on dating to like fucking. Now I see why now I see why I'm single.
SPEAKER_07:It's like a fucking interview. All right. Like, holy fuck, man.
SPEAKER_08:We've we figured the shit out, man. I feel like shut up, bitch! I feel like I feel like Kathy wants to talk to Kevin off air. And and and Pat's oh Pat's over here.
SPEAKER_12:Kevin wants to talk to Kathy off air.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_09:Well, it's hi Kathy. Hi. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I love black.
SPEAKER_10:So obviously, we've all come to the conclusion that dating apps suck.
SPEAKER_08:Yes.
SPEAKER_10:Okay.
SPEAKER_08:All right. So do you do you do you do you guys go out on the norm? Like I mean, there's there's places in Jersey it that changed all the time. Fire and Oak up in Montville was was a big spot. Varka was was another big spot.
SPEAKER_05:That sounds like a we stay a little bit closer to home, but we actually we uh one of our favorite spots around here is called the Stumble. And it's really not the place, it's the place to have fun and like hang out with people.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, fucking tell me. God damn, what's the name? Stumble in. Oh god.
SPEAKER_13:It's a local dive bar, but we like it because it's close to home and there's friendly, nice people, always local, it's fun.
SPEAKER_08:All right, so god damn it. What's it called?
SPEAKER_13:So without saying the town, without saying the town Stumble in Bloomingdale.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_08:We got fucking players on the fucking north. Some shit. Look at this.
SPEAKER_10:You know what? Look at this. We can totally wait. The great thing is I'm in full control and we can just delete the feed. Very simple how that works, Matthew.
SPEAKER_08:There'll be no hijacking this show.
SPEAKER_10:Silly goose.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, what was that?
SPEAKER_08:So so how how it is.
SPEAKER_10:I like that. Oh Jesus. Can you fucking chill your fucking roll?
SPEAKER_07:Oh, they're chill, bro.
SPEAKER_05:We got Snoop here with us.
SPEAKER_10:Snoop, I'm assuming, is a dog.
SPEAKER_05:Nope, nope, look again. You gotta hold it higher because it's in the shade. Snoop Dog. He's Snoop on the stoop.
SPEAKER_10:Is that one of those fucking elf on the shelf?
SPEAKER_04:Who why do you do that? Snoop Dog. I got it.
SPEAKER_10:Is it a black elf on a shelf?
SPEAKER_08:Did you black did you blackface? What's up, Jim Lynch? Hey Kyle.
SPEAKER_13:Yeah, it used to be white. We took it on Sharpie.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, it's Snoop Face. You fucking put him in blackface?
SPEAKER_07:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_10:That is so wrong. Could be one of the most racist things ever done on a live stream. Kevin. Burn that pork again, blackface. Oh my god. Jesus.
SPEAKER_13:I told him not to do it.
SPEAKER_10:Uh uh.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, that's the story.
SPEAKER_05:Oh no.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, what do you mean, oh no? Oh. Let loose. Let's go. They have a lot of stories, but like not recent ones, but yeah. Non-recent ones are fine.
SPEAKER_07:Do tell. Did it involve time? Oh, come on. We have time.
SPEAKER_05:Who knows?
SPEAKER_07:All sorts of time. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_05:I've gone out with people that like turned out to be on the spectrum and I didn't know it until like. Oh, that's a good one.
SPEAKER_12:That's a good one.
SPEAKER_05:Like he saved me a parking spot.
SPEAKER_07:That's a lot.
SPEAKER_05:Like Pat in an empty parking?
SPEAKER_07:That sounded racist. A little bit.
SPEAKER_08:I kind of I kind of feel like you should be in blackface right now.
SPEAKER_10:Now, did I mean here's a crazy question because it does come up often for whatever reason. Any gentleman out there asked to be pegged? What? What? Pegged?
SPEAKER_08:To what? I mean, that that's going a little bit beyond having a conversation on Tinder.
SPEAKER_05:To be what?
SPEAKER_10:Whoa. Uh P-E-G-G-E-D. Pegged?
SPEAKER_05:I don't know what. Oh, like like strap on?
SPEAKER_10:There you go. Who answered that? Who answered that right away? Kristen. Kristen Devon. Yeah, Kristen Devin. Murder Wives.
SPEAKER_05:Did you watch that show? Murder Wives.
SPEAKER_07:Don't try to change the tech now. Yeah, Murder Wives. Sure. Jesus. Can't change that.
SPEAKER_05:No. And I would run. I would not be interested in doing that.
SPEAKER_10:How long was I mean? What's her name? Dating dating that dude for? Like two weeks? It wasn't long. It wasn't long. Kind of weird.
SPEAKER_08:Some guy's one of our friends to begin. The last time that we had a a woman on the show with us. Eons ago. Eons ago, she told a story about how she was dating a guy for a very short time. Yeah. And his first request to her in the bedroom was to go.
SPEAKER_10:So uh what do you what do you think of Pegging?
SPEAKER_07:I forgot about that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Are you talking about Peg Bundy? If if you go back and listen to some of our early work on Spotify or Apple Apple Podcasts, you could hear that show.
SPEAKER_03:That's that's a little Yeah, that's a little weird.
SPEAKER_10:It's a little much.
SPEAKER_03:I've had my dose of crazy, but I mean that's explained.
SPEAKER_10:That's probably like third date information. Like how how crazy?
SPEAKER_08:Third date?
SPEAKER_10:Third, bro? Yeah. Going third? All right, sorry. Second, I apologize. Like who's that out there? Gotta be more honest, right?
SPEAKER_08:He's just looking for love in all the wrong places.
SPEAKER_07:Any kind of way. Any kind of way. He just wants attention.
SPEAKER_13:I think you should have gone grinder if I don't know where you want to be.
SPEAKER_03:Like, I mean, can you imagine fucking your guy?
SPEAKER_10:No. Because I I can't imagine that. She's not talking to you. I thought it was directed towards us, and hence why I answered so quickly. No. Like, no. Let the guests talk.
SPEAKER_08:No.
SPEAKER_03:Hard pass. Yeah, it's a hard pass for me.
SPEAKER_07:I hope for everyone. Yeah, I mean, I know that's right. As well as should be. That's a hard pass for myself.
SPEAKER_08:As well as should be. God damn.
SPEAKER_11:Hard pass.
SPEAKER_08:I mean, maybe a pinky on occasion, but that's about it. Nah.
SPEAKER_07:But not the whole test, you know. Just a tip. You know? You're testing the oil. Like maybe maybe like a well-manicured like fingernail. You got a little burb ski left over there?
SPEAKER_10:I don't even know about fingernail. That sounds rough, Kevin.
SPEAKER_05:Maybe just around the block.
SPEAKER_07:Just around the So what are you guys drinking? Like Sauvignon Blanc? Like what's going on over there?
SPEAKER_05:Got a little peanut with a little shard, a little weed, a little weed.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, a little weed? Yeah. Kathy liked the weed.
SPEAKER_12:Yeah, Pam's more weed.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, Kathy, no.
SPEAKER_10:We need to go weed. Well, it sounds like Pam's uh Kevin's new favorite now because she smokes the weedies. Hi, Pam. Hi, Pam. Kathy's lost smokus. Kathy, now we see why you're single. You don't play along.
SPEAKER_11:No peggy.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, you don't peg and you don't play along. So sorry. We apologize. Hi, I'm Kathy. I don't smoke weed and I don't peg. I am swiping left.
SPEAKER_03:You know what? Anti-peggy. My mother's proud.
SPEAKER_07:Billy's like not gonna lie, there's something about Kathy. I still like Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, here you go. I just had somebody like me on uh Facebook who is 200 miles away. Sure. Yep, I'm in.
unknown:Oh.
SPEAKER_10:Well, if she's got a car and it'll drive. Yeah, call the fucking DeLorean.
SPEAKER_08:Nice. We're not looking to go back to the future.
SPEAKER_10:No, we're gonna have to go back to the future. Back to the old times of when you want to grab a drink, get to know each other.
SPEAKER_05:Well, that may Yeah, that's how I like to do it. Why wouldn't you like to do that? That's how I do do it. I don't spend a lot of time before a lot of crazy people out there.
SPEAKER_10:That's the problem.
SPEAKER_05:True, but yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Is Mohammedani really purging over here?
SPEAKER_05:You don't do dinner, you do drinks.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, I think like you no, like listen, if the conversation's going well, you'd be like, hey, you want to grab something to eat?
SPEAKER_08:You should do drinks first.
SPEAKER_10:That's where you get the well, here is here's uh this top-notch, like dating guy who actually had a very good point where he's like, You can do this in one day, and it'll show the person you know exactly what it is you're looking for. Coffee, museum, okay. Oh, you're doing is showing you're showing some some range. Coffee, museum, lunch, or Irish coffee? Whatever.
SPEAKER_08:Whatever.
SPEAKER_05:I would be so mad if you took me out for coffee into a museum. That would be less than a lot of things. Well, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_08:Then then lunch, unless you're fucking the bathroom, it's a museum. Then lunch.
SPEAKER_05:I don't know, or maybe you throw a wine in there.
SPEAKER_10:Wherever you are, some type of some type of little little museum with Dr. Ross going out and like, I don't know, sightseeing, I believe. And then dinner. So it's a whole day.
SPEAKER_05:That's way too much of a day.
SPEAKER_08:Who did that?
SPEAKER_05:Pam.
SPEAKER_08:All right, Pam, latest story out. Was it Stuart?
SPEAKER_05:It was Dr. Ross.
SPEAKER_08:Oh shit.
SPEAKER_05:It was 69, and I was 55.
SPEAKER_10:69? Wonder why you chose him.
SPEAKER_05:Wait, let's freak out. Six seven.
SPEAKER_10:So you didn't happen to choose him because of his age, did you?
SPEAKER_04:What?
SPEAKER_10:Huh?
SPEAKER_08:Hey, Anna Nicole, how'd that date go?
SPEAKER_04:So, um prenup signs. Bagel and Locks.
SPEAKER_10:Bagel and locks.
SPEAKER_04:He was Jewish. Or is Jewish.
SPEAKER_08:It's getting better by the second. All right. Oh my god. Was he a fucking dentist too?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, well, then you can't.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, that's a turn on right there. As long as you got the symmetrics going.
SPEAKER_08:How hot did that get you?
SPEAKER_07:You know what? That always got me.
SPEAKER_05:Tell me more about my symmetrical ears. We went to the museum, the Met for the day, which I actually love. I like I love going to New York.
SPEAKER_08:Um, before the guy's gonna burn it down, you might as well get it in.
SPEAKER_10:We oh my god I think it's burning already, to be honest.
SPEAKER_05:We had dinner, and then um he said he wanted to play me a piece of music that he learned on the piano, and I thought I was gonna die.
SPEAKER_10:And then he sat down and put a skin face on his face?
SPEAKER_05:No, it wasn't.
SPEAKER_10:Did he have human furniture?
SPEAKER_05:It was ten minutes of classical music.
SPEAKER_10:Was his first name Ed? Dr. Ginn.
SPEAKER_05:Oh my god. You guys were impossible.
SPEAKER_10:Was his last name Guinnstein?
SPEAKER_03:Ed Gaines.
SPEAKER_13:Oh no. Oh. What is he talking again? Mother would like to.
SPEAKER_09:Mother would like to.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_09:Hi. So I'm listening to the case.
SPEAKER_07:Hey, you know, you don't say that, bro.
SPEAKER_05:Let them talk to me.
SPEAKER_07:Who's this referee?
SPEAKER_05:And that was the end of Dr. Ross. That was the one and only date.
SPEAKER_10:Ross Geller.
SPEAKER_05:Did you sleep with him?
SPEAKER_04:I can't believe Liar.
SPEAKER_08:Liar! No. In the Met bathroom.
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_10:Right underneath the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Nobody slept. What are you talking about? We were up all night doing meth.
SPEAKER_05:That's a long that's a long ass day. Although every man will try and sleep with you at any chance they can get at any time.
SPEAKER_07:I don't believe that. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_10:You know what? That is a terrible sleep.
SPEAKER_07:I I don't believe that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Because if that was the case, we'd be walking out with our hogs all the time. Yeah. Just laying out all over the place. It's not like that.
SPEAKER_04:They try.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. Honestly, it's it's the company you keep, ladies. It's not like men in general.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, where are you searching? The Congo?
SPEAKER_08:Every once in a while you will find a gentleman. Yes.
SPEAKER_10:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, you know. I do. But there are a lot of men that don't like it.
SPEAKER_10:You said it 20 times and it's good every time.
SPEAKER_08:Well, do you do you find that that's that's the deal? Like, they're like, hey, let's have a slice of pizza and I'm gonna take my dick out. Like, is that is that how you feel most of your skull? I'm just like I said, like I'm just gonna do it.
SPEAKER_07:Pizza and a soft drink, then like no app, just fucking like boom.
SPEAKER_10:Hey, you want some pizza and soda and see some my my erection selection? Wow.
SPEAKER_08:You go back to the 80s to Andrew Dice Clay, that's what happens.
SPEAKER_10:Okay.
SPEAKER_08:Well, you know, it seems seems a little rough.
SPEAKER_10:That's straight up Paul Rudd.
SPEAKER_08:But will you stop? Could you let them tell a story? God damn it.
SPEAKER_10:I just got fucking muted. You sure did. You are muted now, my friend. So, ladies, because this guy wants to come in. He's been a little saucy tonight. A little bit. Let's be honest. A little bit. Why?
SPEAKER_05:Is he drinking the saucy or is he?
SPEAKER_10:No, it's a heavy flow day for him, I think.
SPEAKER_07:I mean, prior to him even getting here, he was like Yeah. Some of the some of the harsh words he used on the phone. Like very, very harsh. This is true. It's a mean person. When are you happy? Is a good question. Fucking angry person.
SPEAKER_10:When are you truly happy? Besides the fact of I'm getting happier the more bourbon I'm drinking. Picking up the phone while you were taking a shit today. And who like as a friend, I wouldn't do that. Like I said, I'm a fucking busy guy. You gotta maximize your time. Dude, the second the second I heard him say a word, I'm like, that's an echo. I'm like, are you in the fucking bathroom? I'm sorry, Cassie. This guy. And he's like, go fuck yourself. Uh go fuck yourself. All the time. And then we have our normal conversation about the show. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, he's in the bathroom. What's your solution? Like, I think, I think my solution in the dating scene?
SPEAKER_10:Oh, besides euthanization.
SPEAKER_11:Um, I don't, I don't know.
SPEAKER_10:It's I guess the the main thing I've kept in the back of my head is it's you it'll happen when you're not looking.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, that's bullshit.
SPEAKER_10:All right. Oh, so much for being positive on the show.
SPEAKER_05:You don't have to put yourself out there.
SPEAKER_10:No, I know. I understand it, but I'm not gonna sit here and get upset. Like I can't get upset over it anymore because it's No no.
SPEAKER_05:But when I said that's bullshit, I mean it I think it happens when it's meant to happen, not when you're not necessarily looking.
SPEAKER_10:Well, that's usually that's what I mean. I mean it when it's meant to happen.
SPEAKER_05:You have to put the positive energy out, and and and positive attracts positive. So if you're not looking, I don't I I don't think I agree with that.
SPEAKER_07:Although it sounds like actually opposites attract, right? What opposites?
SPEAKER_10:I thought you just went into like a Paul Abdul thing.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, well, I mean, like it's kind of true, like the song.
SPEAKER_08:Opposites attract.
SPEAKER_07:Remember that? Right?
SPEAKER_08:Like it's true with the cartoon, with the cartoon. Right. I hope they can't, I hope they can't see the line of of comments that Bill's throwing out there on the fucking thing. What are you saying, Bill? Is he still talking? Oh, yeah. He's he's hot. He is so hot right now that he is not on this thing live. Every dude, okay, this is from this is from Billy.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, this is from Billy, our silverback gorilla. Every dude is trying to get laid. It may not happen the first time. No man will ever say no.
SPEAKER_03:But we're not looking for them to say no. Like, I think that's not the No, I know.
SPEAKER_10:Billy's looking to be tied up and flogged.
SPEAKER_02:He's looking to get paid.
SPEAKER_10:Uh no, he first of all, that's the circumstance was the right way, maybe. It might be, depending on he did he did use to uh he did use to transport horses across the country.
SPEAKER_11:Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_10:No, Billy's Billy's Billy's one of my favorite human beings in the world, but he's absolutely crazy. But he just tells it how it is. Oh, he says, let me talk. No, Billy. No, we're not. No. Oh, I know exactly how start off. Listen to the listen to the fucking bitches. Like I could just see him. No. We're not doing it, Billy. We love you.
SPEAKER_05:We're not even saying anything now.
SPEAKER_10:No, I know it doesn't matter. This is the way the show goes. Oh, look at this. Billy.
SPEAKER_12:Billy's calling.
SPEAKER_10:My Bluetooth is not hooked up to the board. We have Maddie's Bluetooth hooked up, so I cannot take your terroristic phone call.
SPEAKER_07:Like, just put them on, man. Like, just put him on.
SPEAKER_10:All right. Would you one second?
unknown:I'll be PG, I promise you.
SPEAKER_10:So, ladies, this is Big Billy. Big Billy is a very good looking, good looking strapping gentleman. He has the biceps the size of um. Well, I mean, you have all of his chicken legs, but it's three times the size of avocado? He loves sleeveless t-shirts. And as long as he has four tall boys, he's the happiest man on the face of the earth. But tall boys.
SPEAKER_06:First off, first off, most respect to the ladies. I I actually understand what they're saying. And to you guys, Kevin, cut your bullshit and all that shit. On dating apps, I'm gonna tell you first off.
SPEAKER_07:What's my bullshit, bro?
SPEAKER_06:What's your deep voice over there?
SPEAKER_07:Dude, that's my voice, bro. Like, what the fuck, man? Like, holy shit, dude. Really? Really?
SPEAKER_09:We have the two timers coming out. Can we let Bill talk?
SPEAKER_06:No, listen. And all you guys are. That's it. Every guy, listen, is every every guy is always kind of looking for it hands down. There's no doubts about that.
SPEAKER_10:No, I I agree with you 110% on it. Okay, Bubba Joe.
SPEAKER_06:But that being said, if if if dates go well, everyone's interested in each other. The guy's always gonna look for it. If the girl goes, hey, let's fuck. The guy's gonna go, no, I don't want that on the first date.
SPEAKER_08:He's gay.
SPEAKER_06:What?
SPEAKER_10:He's probably gay. His pronouns are not he, he, him.
SPEAKER_11:That's all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_10:No, actually, uh no, Phyllis, I'm gonna take you home and I'm gonna give you a nice little hug. Did you say that's the first problem? I just brought that one. Phyllis and Stuart are fucking dating. I'm gonna shake your hand and hopefully we can respectfully continue this conversation tomorrow.
SPEAKER_06:No, but end of the day is if you have a if you have a true connection, is there? Listen, I got a nine-year-old, I'm 50, I'm single, and I'm a fucking pig. I'll tell you that right now. But it's charming. It's beyond charming.
SPEAKER_10:I love it.
SPEAKER_07:Now you're type, Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, it says it says single father, 50 years old, and then I'm a pig.
SPEAKER_06:I'm done with it. I said I'm done with it. I that's a good idea. Smart move, Billy. I'm not trying to pick these girls.
SPEAKER_08:There's some there's something to be said for people that just throw it out there, and this is this is me.
SPEAKER_13:Everybody knows one of these days.
unknown:I'll pretty much straight up like that.
SPEAKER_10:Is that the black guy with a big ones? What is that? Stop the photo that comes up on your phone. Yeah, Billy. The photo that comes up on your phone. Jesus fucking Christ. That's you? I thought it was I thought it was the black that everybody sends to people. That's Barry Wood.
unknown:No, that's me.
SPEAKER_10:Barry Wood.
SPEAKER_08:Fuck you, Bill. I'm like, why are you Barry Wood on the five? You are not going in blackface and a picture on the wall. That's terrible.
SPEAKER_10:So so finish up, Billy. So you're all you're saying is uh what's the time frame that the guys are looking for the vagine?
SPEAKER_06:Oh no, it's every time frame. Seven seconds. If you look at the love of these dating guys in the day, it's like you said you are a good dude or whatnot. I get all that.
SPEAKER_08:No, he isn't.
SPEAKER_06:To the girl's point, uh your point. It's that's even just the the whole thing with the the dating apps.
SPEAKER_08:What's up, Martine?
SPEAKER_06:You're not gonna match a person of somebody. It's dissecting. No, that's that's the problem. You meet them out, like all the time.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, no doubt. Hey, hey, Bill, Bill, Bill, do you hear me?
SPEAKER_06:It's always dissecting.
SPEAKER_10:It's like no, it's it's a job interview.
SPEAKER_06:It's a job interview, and that's 100%.
SPEAKER_10:It's a job interview, and you're you're avoiding you're avoiding red flags from the other person and all the questions that are being awesome.
SPEAKER_06:It's a job, and you're gonna be the best person you can be on these things, and then all of a sudden the red flags are to pop up a month down the road.
SPEAKER_08:We assume Mr. Muhammadadi. Right, can you hear me?
SPEAKER_06:Well, yeah, but all the same is it's it's that's why point point guys.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, just answer it. Maybe I'll meet them, but listen, I how many dates before you're getting pegged? I want to know.
SPEAKER_06:What's that? How many dates before you're getting pegged?
SPEAKER_08:Three. Okay. So he was I was correct. I was gonna set the line at two and a half, but I I I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not I'm not interested in pegging, but if you know if you know, don't lie.
SPEAKER_08:If she was if she was hot enough, you would do it.
SPEAKER_06:Listen, if you're blowing me and you happen to lick my ass, I'm okay with it. Okay, all right, Billy.
SPEAKER_08:Anyway, uh please.
SPEAKER_10:So wow, thank you for the input. We love you. We love you. And this is strike two on the terroristic fucking alert. You are now amber. You are now amber, Abdul Jafar Mohammedati.
SPEAKER_08:Hi, Ladi Daddy. Love you, Mahamedaddi.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:That is that is as genuine, that's as genuine as Billy is, and that's as honest as he gets, and that's 100% truth. And he was not lying about the licking of the butt. Not once.
SPEAKER_03:Is he your friend?
SPEAKER_10:One of our closest friends. Uh nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_13:In real life or just online?
SPEAKER_10:Um, he's my online buddy. No, we've seen him in person. We were actually pen pal. Unlike Stuart. Yeah. So I met I was a pen pal in real life. Yeah, I was a pen pal with a prison inmate. And oh, Jesus Christ. And once, you know, once once he was yeah, once we was released, we kept our pen pal going. And he's my one of my favorite human beings.
SPEAKER_11:Oh, he's great. Oh, for Christ.
SPEAKER_10:I've yet to meet him though, because I don't know if I'm being catfished. Fucking steward.
SPEAKER_08:Hey, Bill, if you're still listening, shoot over to Kev's house and slap Patrick in the face with your cock and pretend you're Dr. Ross. Call yourself Dr. Ross and slap him in the face with your cock. Yeah. So and if you can't bring a bagel with locks, I'm hungry.
SPEAKER_02:I think you guys say notes. That's pretty good. No, I'm impressed, Matthew.
SPEAKER_10:Uh well, we've been doing this for a while, so we tend to remember some stuff when we talk, and we're not fully, we're not full retard. We're we're just retarded. Full retard. We are not full retarded. Yeah, I want to be at full retard because I think life would go a lot easier. To be honest.
SPEAKER_13:Maybe just half a chromosome, sure.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, be like, oh look at that. Unicorns and rainbows. That'd be great.
SPEAKER_03:All right, back to dating. Oh no, I want to talk about because I wouldn't uh I think what was his friend, what was your friend's name again?
SPEAKER_10:Billy.
SPEAKER_05:Bill.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, how do you forget that name? Big Billy. Did you not hear him pound his chest and and roar?
SPEAKER_02:Billy. Billy the Willy.
SPEAKER_10:Billy the Willy. I think um one-eyed Billy. Not Niskole basically.
SPEAKER_02:I think we came a lot of things. I name my car, I name everything. What's the new car's name?
SPEAKER_08:You guys would actually love fucking Billy.
SPEAKER_10:You would. The key word was fucking is what he what he just said. So just I just want to throw that out there. I do apologize for saying it like that, but it just came to my head.
SPEAKER_03:So um like back to like dating app stuff, like you go on these dates, and uh, Kathy said mentioned something while Billy was talking. Hi, Kathy. And like saying that anybody can be like really awesome for an hour. Yeah, you go out for that drink, everybody's really awesome.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, you're you you always go up with your guard out, and you're kind of like lowering it down little by little, just by conversation.
SPEAKER_08:Of course, it's an interview. You could sell anything for an hour. Sure.
SPEAKER_10:And then it's listen, and it's I like you know, I get shit like straight out. Um you know, I talk about my family, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Anything like that. Any kids, go talk about the kids, boom, boom, boom. What do you do?
SPEAKER_05:Did you ever get anyone that didn't look like their picture?
SPEAKER_10:Uh a few years back. It was going back, uh. As a matter of fact, when I first in my twenties, when I excuse Kevin, it is baby bladder. Uh, it was after my my ex-wife and I separated. Um, I met somebody who I was talking to for a few weeks. She ends up meeting me at a like uh this lounge up in Wappinger's Falls, Dutchess County, New York. She walked in, she was eight months pregnant. Oh, wow. Yikes. She did have a really she was she she did have a really good personality. But I was like, what the fuck are you doing here?
SPEAKER_05:Can I ask you a question?
SPEAKER_10:Sure.
SPEAKER_05:Well, that's crazy, by the way, that she was eight months pregnant. But why why do you talk to the women for so long before you meet them?
SPEAKER_10:It's not me. I I usually ask right away, like, hey, if if I have a weekend open, you're looking to get some would you like to get some drinks this week? I don't even know you yet. And then it then it's yeah, or it's like if you ask that, you it's almost like you're being too forward, and then it's like, oh, I don't even know you yet. I was like, what? At eight months pregnant? Dude, I had somebody who said she'll meet me first.
SPEAKER_13:Wait, you don't like kids?
SPEAKER_10:No, she'll meet me first, right? But she won't exchange, she won't exchange her phone number. What color? So I had I had one girl, one girl who said she would she would meet me first but not exchange phone numbers.
SPEAKER_08:I'm like, well, that's awful.
SPEAKER_10:That's the dumbest fucking. I was like, I need to talk to somebody.
SPEAKER_05:Uh yeah, I I don't like the talking too much because I don't have honestly, I don't have time for it.
SPEAKER_13:When I first went online and I didn't know better, I talked to two different guys for like a couple, like a while, maybe like say two months.
SPEAKER_10:Jesus by the time I met them kudos, kudos to yeah, they by the time you met those. Tell me to quiet it down one more time.
SPEAKER_13:I love you. I'm sorry, I don't know. Yeah, but I didn't never met you before, and I didn't think far enough ahead. I don't like you.
SPEAKER_05:I just get right to the date. The quicker the better, because if there's no attraction, then nobody wastes their time.
SPEAKER_10:Exactly.
SPEAKER_05:Um but I was dating this guy, and before I met him, Kristen said there were some red flags.
SPEAKER_10:Wait, he was in the carnival?
SPEAKER_05:Do you want to hear the red the red flag? Kristen? Yeah, come here.
SPEAKER_08:I'm sorry, was that a carnival cruise line story?
SPEAKER_05:Let them talk! That's what I think of red flags. It might be a bourbon. Okay. So his name was was Paul, and he was small.
SPEAKER_07:Oh wow. This is a nursery, right?
SPEAKER_10:His name is Paul, and he was totally, totally small.
SPEAKER_05:Height-wise, he was small. What's small?
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very small. I mean, I have small next to me, but that's not small.
SPEAKER_05:No, no, he lied about his height.
SPEAKER_10:How well how bad? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Well, I'm 5'6. He said he was 5'8, and I was taller than him.
SPEAKER_10:Were you wearing you weren't wearing heels or anything? Any no, no stilettos.
SPEAKER_05:No. No, no.
SPEAKER_10:Um kind of first dates thing.
SPEAKER_05:So he sends me this uh a song on my phone.
SPEAKER_07:Oh my god, really? He sang you a song.
SPEAKER_10:Tell me you have the song.
SPEAKER_08:I got two songs before we.
SPEAKER_07:Oh my god, that's so fucking gay.
SPEAKER_10:So bad. Do you guys go into dating sites where there are straight men? Wait, time out. Before you play that, was it anything like this?
SPEAKER_08:Oh boy.
SPEAKER_10:Don't don't do that.
SPEAKER_08:Don't oh boy.
SPEAKER_00:Arrow. Shiny. I was wondering if you would write some beef with rockery.
SPEAKER_07:Where is Kathy going?
SPEAKER_10:Was it anybody like that? Because that we know that person. From Beijing.
SPEAKER_07:Where's Kathy going? She okay?
SPEAKER_05:If you knock on the what is the what does the Chinese maintenance guy say when you knock on the door?
SPEAKER_10:How?
SPEAKER_04:Supplies.
SPEAKER_07:Not gonna lie, that was a good one. That was a good one. That worked. That worked. Where's Kathy? What happened to Kathy?
SPEAKER_10:Dude, what are you a stalker already? Jesus.
SPEAKER_07:Sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, I'll just highly aggressive.
SPEAKER_05:I have to play the song? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, that's what we Oh, you have the song? That's what the listeners want.
SPEAKER_08:Wow. Oh, play that motherfucker. I'm working on it.
SPEAKER_10:Well, the technology's been going great tonight, so I'm sure it will work out fine.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, it'll be no problems. They got a soundboard?
SPEAKER_10:They got feedback over there. They got buzzers. That reminds me of the main stage. Cinnamon, cinnamon to the main stage. Destiny. Destiny to the main stage. We're gonna need Matthew back in the champagne room. Matthew, champagne room. There is no sex.
SPEAKER_03:I have to plug this in because my butt. Okay, here. Are you ready?
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, we've been ready.
SPEAKER_03:Are you ready?
SPEAKER_10:We are ready again. Keyboard.
SPEAKER_07:Wait a minute. Fiona. Is this for is this foreigner?
SPEAKER_11:Right?
SPEAKER_07:Do you know what love is? Right.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I want you to show me. I've been waiting to Yeah, I know the song. Did he sing this?
SPEAKER_04:No, he just sent me the song.
SPEAKER_08:After how many phone conversations? Like two? Red flag.
SPEAKER_10:I don't know. Foreigner's a good good good choice.
SPEAKER_08:Listen, I like the song. I don't know if I'm sending it.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, did he send you Eddie money?
SPEAKER_04:No, another foreigner song.
SPEAKER_08:Two tickets to paradise?
SPEAKER_04:For a girl like you. And then what's the other one?
SPEAKER_02:I want to know what love is.
SPEAKER_04:That's it. Yeah. No. Yes. Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_10:Did he, okay. The only way I can give this guy credit, did he wear a wig with a fan in front of him and lip sync it to a and he's definitely not worth it.
SPEAKER_04:I gotta shake that ass. I don't get good love songs. This person's like run, run.
SPEAKER_08:I don't know, lovey. It sounds more like this guy was like, it puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again. Father Bins.
SPEAKER_05:It rubs it on its body.
SPEAKER_10:No, he wasn't psycho, but he was just that's what they that's what they said about uh Ed Geen, too.
SPEAKER_05:Great, great show, by the way. Weird. So we went on one date, and that was pretty much the end of it.
SPEAKER_10:Did you guys do a karaoke night?
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_10:That would have been fun. Hey, I got a good song for you. Foreign.
SPEAKER_05:One day today. Good one.
SPEAKER_10:If he broke out like some Michael Bolton or Kenny G, that's an immediate red flag.
SPEAKER_07:Does Pam say? You know, like like maybe like she gets on karaoke night.
SPEAKER_03:Well, oh shit.
SPEAKER_07:Right?
SPEAKER_08:You guys want to come up to Connecticut and get on karaoke night in a week or two? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:We're not gonna have enough room in here. Like what all of a sudden we have a strip club. All of a sudden we got a green room in a strip club.
SPEAKER_08:There's gonna be a poll in this room, and it'll be fine.
SPEAKER_10:And Kevin's gonna be at the bottom saying, Kathy.
SPEAKER_11:Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:Kathy. I mean, Kathy better come.
SPEAKER_11:Watch this.
SPEAKER_07:Well, she will.
SPEAKER_02:Kathy there. Hi, Kathy. Kathy, swing a bell. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_11:Sorry.
SPEAKER_07:Sorry.
SPEAKER_13:Oh my god, it's so funny.
SPEAKER_07:Come on, Pat.
SPEAKER_13:This is a fun night. Come on, dude. Get yourself together, bro.
SPEAKER_07:Come on, man. Come on, Kathy's fine. You should be okay, man. That was like a Hi Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:That is and by the way, I'm your Huckleberry from fucking Tombstone right now.
SPEAKER_08:I just want you guys to know this is the tame group.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, that's fine. Is there an untamed group?
SPEAKER_08:I hear that there's another glass of wine in front of me. Jenny's coming out. There's a friend ready to come on whose cousins. Oh, she's the female.
SPEAKER_10:She's cousins with the Muhammadadis. Muhammadadi. No, we cannot have female terrorists on the show.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_02:What are you talking about, Matt?
SPEAKER_08:That that your friend Jen's gonna take over the show.
SPEAKER_03:Jen has a lot to say. Jen's wet dream is to be on a podcast.
SPEAKER_05:Who's Jen? Jenny.
SPEAKER_08:How old's Jen? I'm sorry. Did you say wet dream?
SPEAKER_10:I have different wet dreams.
SPEAKER_07:I'm in. Only fans you said, I'm in. Like, I hear all this, and all I hear is Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:I feel behind my channel. Um, now how old is the friend Jen? How old is the friend Jen? Like, how northern New Jersey are you, Kathy?
SPEAKER_05:I don't know how old Jen is. I'm the oldest, I think. Jen's like 53, 54.
SPEAKER_11:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah? Yeah. She's closer to my age. Yeah, yeah. Um divorce, probably a year and a half, two years, maybe.
SPEAKER_10:I think I'm gonna join Christian Singles.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:See how that goes.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, right. You know, like why not, man? J date. What's J Date?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, Jewish people.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, we're in.
SPEAKER_10:Kefeltafish, let's go.
SPEAKER_05:What's the old people one?
SPEAKER_10:Oh yeah, our time. And it shows you an hourglass that has one kernel of sand left in it. These are the days of our lives. Oh that reminds me of the uh what is that? Like sand through the hourglass. So are the days of our lives.
SPEAKER_03:What are you looking for?
SPEAKER_10:Um besides an AI doll. Here we go.
SPEAKER_04:Um looking for love.
SPEAKER_10:Not just somebody I click with. You know, it's it's hard to describe because it's very just somebody somebody who has uh a good head on their shoulders is emotionally and emotionally mature and stable. Not addict, not addicted to Adderall. Yeah, not addicted to Adderall. For whatever reason, I I tend to find the the glory hole of Adderall.
SPEAKER_07:So here's the question like what's your med cutoff? What's my med cutoff? Yeah, like like what level of med? Uh oh, you're like, yeah, no, thanks. You know, there's something.
SPEAKER_10:Listen, you can't, it's if there's an antipsychotic on that list, we can't talk.
SPEAKER_13:How many drinks surpasses occasional?
SPEAKER_08:What I don't think I don't think there's ever any fucking limit to that. Drink passes. Is that why I mean Jesus Christ. I mean, I've heard people drink a lot. I've never reached that level. I that's why I had PTSD ever since I got I've certainly never come into contact with too much.
SPEAKER_10:I had never remember that uh the dragon breath chick that that drugged my drink in Brewster? Did I ever tell you that story?
SPEAKER_08:What the fuck did you drunk?
SPEAKER_10:Well, this is well, here's another. I I enjoy going out, but now I feel like I feel like stew from the hangover and I PTSD and I cover my drink now. Is that when you pulled your two?
SPEAKER_05:So when O'Connor's with the ATM in front of you?
SPEAKER_10:Oh, O'Connor's ass to mouth. Oh, what? Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Um so I was at O'Connor's and Brewster with Phil and my buddy Jimmy.
SPEAKER_08:Which is a filthy fucking dive bar, by the way.
SPEAKER_10:And I remember this very attractive girl was I was talking with. The bartender? With the tattoo. No, no, she wasn't the bartender. She's she was she's Brazilian, and I know exactly who you're talking about. Yes, that's Kevin's old wife, and I know exactly who you're talking about.
SPEAKER_07:Not me. Not me.
SPEAKER_10:No, not him. Kevin Schultz Schultz.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I did not know that.
SPEAKER_10:She's still single, by the way. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, well, I can't.
SPEAKER_10:So, and I'm talking with her, and I remember I was like, wow, she's really attractive. And then she's fantastic hiny. She started talking to me, and I just remember like, you have the worst breath in the world. And I just kept on, you know, giving in. I'm like, well, you're still pretty attractive.
SPEAKER_12:You have to do her for money, but she's cute.
SPEAKER_10:15, like, oh listen, if you got a clothespin, I'll put a clothespin over my nose for that.
SPEAKER_07:Oh boy.
SPEAKER_10:So I just remember she was she was hovering by my beer. And my buddy Jimmy said, he's like, I think she put something in your drank. I'm like, nah, man, no, no, she didn't. I take I take a swig of my beer. Within 10 minutes, I'm like, are we still live, by the way? Yeah, why? Just random sheet, random squirrel, snorkel, just random words. And but I do remember when I started feeling the way I felt, she was like right next to me, and I only remembered it not because I couldn't see her face, it's because of her breath. And I kept on saying to my buddy Jimmy, I'm like, where's the girl with the dragon breath? Yeah, she put something in my drink, man. And I was I just started drooling. Which I wanted to get the information of where she got the stuff because I would have been that would have been useful for me. Who the fuck, first of all, I'm I'm 6'1, 245 pounds. Who wow who who are you carrying who are you carrying me out with? Because that was a pecking night, and I wouldn't even approve to it because I would have been so drugged.
SPEAKER_06:Well boy.
SPEAKER_10:I would have like that, yeah. I would have woken up Vaseline all over the place, butthole sore, and she's standing over me, breathing on me, and I'm losing my eyelashes and eyebrows.
SPEAKER_08:Well, that's where the 15-gallon TY would come in.
SPEAKER_10:It's just it was hot, man. That shit was brutal. And that was the only time I was uh and because of that night, this is going back 10 years ago, maybe more than that. The only time I cover, I always no matter who I'm with, I cover my fucking drink.
SPEAKER_13:Wait, so what happened that night? Did you just wait?
SPEAKER_10:My buddy, my buddy and my brother had to carry me out of the bar. I couldn't walk. And I had two beers. Pat got roofied. I had two. Whoever wanted to roofy me. Listen, cool. Like, but brush your fucking teeth before you do it.
SPEAKER_05:You got a roofie and rinse, rinse and floss.
SPEAKER_10:Something. Don't come at me like you just ate a shit sandwich.
SPEAKER_05:My my friend, my friend, he got roofied. And um, he he woke up uh in front of an of an ATM machine.
SPEAKER_07:Was he with Diddy? I hope this is Pam. And not Catholic.
SPEAKER_05:So he was woke up just in time because he was about to withdraw$20,000 to these girls. And take that much out of it.
SPEAKER_08:You can't take that much out of an ATM machine. That's nonsense.
SPEAKER_10:No, ETMs go up to like five grand, right? Something like that.
SPEAKER_08:Not a even like personal.
SPEAKER_10:I'm allowed, I'm allowed to take out$1,800 on mine. I set a limit.
SPEAKER_08:Not$20.
SPEAKER_04:But set your own limit.
SPEAKER_10:I set my own limit for the yeah. We all set our own limits on the five. It depends on what type of night I'm looking for. If this is a boring night, I'm like, oh look at that. Netflix and chill, that's a hundred bucks. Boom. And then if it's something you don't want to remember, you want it to be like a hangover. I personally only like one rehipnol. I don't like two. I like, but I never like the next day, the next day, the way I felt off of that shit. And this is going back. I used to use drugs back in the day, and I used to use GHB. Used to. Yeah. And that was whatever that was, like straight up fucking um weekend at Bernie's. You used to roofy yourself, is what you're saying. Just a cap full. Okay. That was it. It's good stuff.
SPEAKER_08:Well, if that's not a fucking statement on fucking dating, I don't know what is. So I'd rather roofie myself than go out on a date.
SPEAKER_10:So, ladies and gentlemen, the moral of your story today on the Take It Deep Show, if you're in your 40s or 50s, you're fucked dating. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_05:There's always a silver lining.
SPEAKER_10:Oh no, there's not.
SPEAKER_05:There is.
SPEAKER_08:Look, look for real women. Like don't ever date a guy named Stuart.
SPEAKER_10:No are there. Dr. Ross.
SPEAKER_08:And then Dr. Ross shows up with a fucking bagel and rocks at the beginning of the day.
SPEAKER_10:I'm going to end up meeting probably a problem. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Definitely.
SPEAKER_10:You know. I'm going to I'm going to meet a Joanna Ross and she's pre-med. Johanna? Yeah, so I'm like, I like that. That's a cool name.
SPEAKER_05:Pat, do you have any dates lined up currently?
SPEAKER_10:Uh no. Just uh with my jar of Vaseline and that's about it.
SPEAKER_13:Use your left hand. It'll feel like someone else is doing it.
SPEAKER_10:No, I actually. That's called the Stranger, and we've covered that already. Yeah, I lay on my hand for two days before I do that.
SPEAKER_13:Let it get numb first, get a little tingly.
SPEAKER_10:Tingly? What are you talking about? Like I need to pretend my hand is invisible. Sounds like there's some experience talking on that end of the line.
SPEAKER_05:That was Pam.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, what's the name of that? Not Kathy. Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_02:Jaddy might say that, but not Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:I don't know. I feel like that's I feel like it's a lot easier for women. A little left, a little right, a little left, a little right. How long have you been married?
SPEAKER_02:Are you talking about masturbation?
SPEAKER_08:I'm sorry. Are you listening to the show? What?
SPEAKER_03:Are you talking about masturbation, Matthew?
SPEAKER_08:I was.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. I can appreciate that.
SPEAKER_10:Breaking news? Breaking news. It's just in. You're divorced? I am? Fuck!
SPEAKER_08:How long has it been now that we know this? I don't know, but get me to the bank so I can get my money out before you left us.
SPEAKER_07:I am. Hi. Let's get it.
SPEAKER_05:I asked you if he was divorced because he was doing a little to the right and a little to the left.
SPEAKER_13:A little to the right notes. Oh, he was talking, yeah, he was talking about DJ Diddles. No, I was saying, like, now I know why you're divorced. Little hand over here.
SPEAKER_07:I don't know if she heard it, but I am. Hi, Kathy. How old's everybody? I'm the youngest.
SPEAKER_10:Kevin's 50, Matt's 50, I'm 47.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Matt, when did you turn 50?
SPEAKER_10:March. Same time as blood type changed to gravy.
SPEAKER_03:I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I forgot we were born in the same year.
SPEAKER_10:I I that I apologize. That was so rude.
SPEAKER_05:You're going to be 50, aren't you? I am. It's good.
SPEAKER_10:It's good. You're good. You age well. Actually, well, here's another thing, too. Nothing against the women, but it's this is going to be against the women. I think that the for whatever reason, I don't know if they're putting their correct ages on. Because then I'm there's somebody who will like you and be like 37, 38 years old, and I'm like, you look like leather.
SPEAKER_11:Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:That is that's a red flag right there. Cause you're like, no way. You've been through the ringer a few times.
SPEAKER_08:All right. Question. How many filters do you guys use when you jump on the sites?
SPEAKER_05:I don't even know how to use a filter. So zero.
SPEAKER_10:Thank you. That's my that's my biggest, that's one of my biggest gripes. Well, my two biggest gripes are I want to know the professional photographers these women get. I want to show up and then say, like, wow, you look just like your pictures, but there's it's you got people who are running through Central Park, leaves are blowing in the back, there's a fucking dog on a scooter with Wearing goggles looking like he's flying a plane. Like, I'm like, who gets this action photo like that? It's amazing. But then again, you can you can put yourself in photos and just AI generate it. Of course we can.
SPEAKER_05:I don't know how to do that either. Well, that's I think that's the scariest part now.
SPEAKER_02:Like, you know, I've been I haven't been dating in a while, but hi Kathy.
SPEAKER_11:Hey, awkward.
SPEAKER_03:The AI generation is is tough. Like that's it's hard to trust it.
SPEAKER_05:I feel like if you're not representing yourself like a true picture, you're not gonna attract somebody that likes you the way you look.
SPEAKER_10:So you're you're saying my AI generated of myself is Barry Wood. I should take that down as a profile. Probably. Damn it. That's such a good one. Such a good one.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, but make sure you have at least so women use filters, huh?
SPEAKER_10:Um, that women use filters like they're in a fucking chat group on Snapchat.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I didn't know that. You guys run into a lot of women that ask you for.
SPEAKER_10:I'm like, oh, you know what? You don't even look like that because you have fucking bunny ears.
SPEAKER_11:What?
SPEAKER_08:Well, what did you say?
SPEAKER_10:Filters that uh look, I could show you right now.
SPEAKER_08:Do we run into what?
SPEAKER_12:No, I know it. Yeah, yeah, our 18-year-old girl.
SPEAKER_07:You're not talking about Kathy, are you?
SPEAKER_13:No, so wait, do you go you guys go on dates where the girls ask you for money right away?
SPEAKER_07:No, no, I love those girls. I love those ones. That's that's I'm like that's like crazy. 500 gets me what? That's called Craigslist, right? No.
SPEAKER_08:You hang out.
SPEAKER_10:Might as well go to a strip club for four hours, fat boy. I mean, when when they ask me for money, I I'm asking right back. I'm like, 500 gets me what?
SPEAKER_13:Well, I'm talking about like can you pay my rent? Can you pay my rent?
SPEAKER_10:Oh, yeah, I've I've had that before. What fucking dummy does that? There's a ton of dating sites that have a ton of bots.
SPEAKER_08:I don't give a shit if the fucking pussy was throwing sparks, and it was the best thing ever.
SPEAKER_07:Well, hold up, man.
SPEAKER_08:No, hold up.
SPEAKER_07:Sparks. Hold up. Sparks, sparks, bro. Sparklers. I mean, sparks may grab my attention, man. Yeah, you're paying rent?
SPEAKER_10:You want to pay rent? Filter. No.
SPEAKER_07:Not rent.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, I don't even know what that is. Like, that's she just like took a shot of heroin. What is that?
SPEAKER_07:No. Who took a shot of heroin?
SPEAKER_10:Oh, somebody. Oh, and here's another one. Here we go. Is this a thing? The angle of the of the selfie, does that because I'm just wondering.
SPEAKER_13:Very important.
SPEAKER_10:Very uh, well, I'm gonna say 99.9% of you have it wrong. Well, you can't oh there is no reason there is no reason to hold it up as far as you can above you, right? And think that we're at the the fun house at a carnival with the funny looking mirror and not realize why.
SPEAKER_03:Because you know, with all the social media, I think every everybody is very self-conscious about like at turn 50, like it's a chicken neck, and like it just happens, whether you're thin or whatever, like it happens, and it's very, very unnerving as a woman to all of a sudden have that.
SPEAKER_10:So you're just taking take a selfie that is truly not representing yourself.
SPEAKER_02:No, I get it.
SPEAKER_10:Oh well, don't you can use excuses, right? No, no excuses.
SPEAKER_07:I can see my fucking shit. That's totally you know what?
SPEAKER_08:You know, you know why Kristen's saying that? Because she she is a serial dater.
SPEAKER_10:And I'm like, Well, you have a 15-foot fucking selfie stick. Why is it so long? How come how come it feels like I'm a fucking bird in a tree and I'm looking down at you? It's natural. It just so happened to catch that. I can't even tell you. Oh, did you see my profile picture? No, there were 17 other people around you, and I couldn't even tell. I couldn't find Waldo.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not saying it's okay or it's right.
SPEAKER_10:It's not okay. I'm not finding Waldo on my the fucking first swipe to the left or right. No way. I'm like, where's what's her name, by the way?
SPEAKER_08:Uh Wendy. Yeah, Wendy and Waldo. All right, how many of you on Reddit?
SPEAKER_05:Huh? No.
SPEAKER_08:No?
SPEAKER_05:It's another site. Oh, it is? Yeah. Like a Tinder. Is it is it like a free site?
SPEAKER_10:It's more of a prostitution site, to be honest with you.
SPEAKER_05:The what?
SPEAKER_10:It's uh there's more prostitution on that thing than anything else.
SPEAKER_13:Are you on this? That's crazy. I I'm pretty sure because so I don't know why, but I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_10:There's there's groups you can sign up for.
SPEAKER_13:I get that.
SPEAKER_10:And there's always blurry, blurry photos, and then you're you message a person. Oh, there's a lot of non-blurry photos. And then you get the good old uh you know this date isn't free. I'm like, hmm. No, no, no, no, I gotta pay for dinner, right? Uh I'm not the normal date. Oh, okay. So you're a hooker.
SPEAKER_05:Are there hookers on Reddit?
SPEAKER_07:Oh, yeah. I mean, there's hookers everywhere. That's like a hard name, man. Like, like like hooker.
SPEAKER_05:I think it's just too easy now. Like, you should forget my face. Like, I mean, I don't know. Like we're speed dating. That would be fun.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_05:Hey.
SPEAKER_10:I'm sorry. Kevin, Kevin just said one of the gay shit things ever. Like, you're the most hard we're one of the most harsh human beings I know. Oh. And you just said me by by me saying hooker. That's not the right word you want to use. And then you gave a little flinch. What was that?
SPEAKER_08:I can't wait to drive the road island on the mall.
SPEAKER_10:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:Is he being politically correct about hookers?
SPEAKER_10:Uh, don't listen to him because he tries to become politically correct when he becomes Abdul Jafar Muhammadadi. Yeah, he's getting ready to take over. He's in full Abdul Jafar Muhammadadi mode.
SPEAKER_08:There's a takeover coming.
SPEAKER_05:So he could call them sex workers.
SPEAKER_10:Well, no, he's very fucking this terrorist is very, very sensitive. Wow. All right, so here it goes. Lottie Dottie. Mohammeddy.
SPEAKER_07:Not doing it.
SPEAKER_03:I like to potty.
SPEAKER_10:There it is. Well, we don't trouble.
SPEAKER_03:Who said that?
SPEAKER_10:We only try out to blow up everybody. It wasn't Kathy.
SPEAKER_11:It wasn't Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:I was hoping it was Kathy.
SPEAKER_10:Dude, the more you talk like that, the more I'm thinking of Gargamel for whatever means. Yeah, it's getting creepy. Yeah. It's getting a little creepy.
SPEAKER_12:I mean, you could probably like that creepy uncle.
SPEAKER_10:Uh oh.
SPEAKER_08:Ed Geen? Uncle Touchy? Oh, Katie.
SPEAKER_05:Uncle Touchy?
SPEAKER_10:Come on.
SPEAKER_05:Everyone has one. That's the long holiday.
SPEAKER_10:That's why why do you think Kevin Santa every year for the holidays? Get over here. Let's talk about the first thing that pops up.
SPEAKER_08:Oh no, no. What did you do wrong?
SPEAKER_11:So that's all right.
SPEAKER_10:Why don't you show me why you're really on the naughty list?
SPEAKER_08:All right, let's really fuck this up. Tell me what you know. Now that you guys have been on the podcast for a hot minute, we want to know who you voted for in the last election.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, and this really determines whether or not whether or not we hang up on you. Oh, oh. Oh.
SPEAKER_04:Go for it.
SPEAKER_12:All right.
SPEAKER_04:And then we'll but we're not going to talk about it.
SPEAKER_05:Okay. What'd you go to the box? Name first. All right, then we're not going there.
SPEAKER_10:No, go there. Go, go, go.
SPEAKER_05:No, nothing could come. They weren't on the ballot. They were not on the ballot. Oh. If I put Bernie on there, I voted for Bernie Sanders again.
SPEAKER_07:That is without a doubt the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What's that? You are a fucking idiot. Who was that? Who? I think that was Kathy.
SPEAKER_11:That was not Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:That was not Kathy. I guarantee. That was not Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:It was definitely Pam, because apparently she gives fucking everything away. Put him in a fucking bedroom.
SPEAKER_12:Get him out of here. Come on.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, gives everything away.
SPEAKER_08:That's all right. We'll let you catch up. It's okay.
SPEAKER_02:Does he? Oh, I didn't I didn't get it. I didn't get it.
SPEAKER_07:Oh my god. Oh my god. I love you, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:Pam, we're gonna have to talk about your uh continued participation in this show.
SPEAKER_07:I do.
SPEAKER_08:Forecast is rain.
SPEAKER_05:I told you not to go there.
SPEAKER_04:My name is Jeff.
SPEAKER_11:My name is Jeff. My name is Jeff. My name is Jeff.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I love that. Oh yeah. My name is Jeff.
SPEAKER_01:Uh is there a Pam there?
SPEAKER_11:Pam, this is Satan. Oh, what is that?
SPEAKER_01:This is Satan. And uh even I have a problem with your vote. Pam, this is Satan. Satan, just listen up, ladies. This is Satan, and even I have a problem with that vote.
SPEAKER_05:I think we're losing you guys here. Yeah, we're losing you.
SPEAKER_01:God is here. God will find you back to your other children.
SPEAKER_05:You know what that reminds me of um Almighty?
SPEAKER_11:Kathy, I'm sorry. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_10:Well, ladies, uh, as much as I don't want to end this. Oh my god, um, we've been going for almost two hours, and I cannot thank you guys enough for joining us on this episode. I still feel like I'm talking like Satan, but I'm not.
SPEAKER_08:I love you, Kathy. Might as well be. I love you, Kathy.
SPEAKER_12:I love you, baby.
SPEAKER_01:Kathy, I love you too, Kathy.
SPEAKER_05:See you later. I love you, Kathy. I know we kind of went off the rails a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, we usually do that every episode.
SPEAKER_11:He's fucking crying! Look at him!
SPEAKER_10:My child, Kevin. Oh my god. Uh, Kevin has absolutely lost his mind. He's laughing so hard he's crying. Oh my god. So I I give credit to you guys for uh letting us letting us do this with our viewers. I do love Kathy. I cannot wait till his wife watches this. It's gonna be great. I'm gonna send this to her straight to her fucking right to her messages. Right to the right to the Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:Actually, I'm gonna call the assassin Kathy from now on.
SPEAKER_03:They're all trying.
SPEAKER_13:How many bourbon bottles are on the floor empty?
SPEAKER_10:Uh I only well, here's the thing. I listen, I don't think we need to get that personal. I have I have a problem with two of my friends who are heavy drinkers. What? I tend to have one or two scotches an episode. But when a bottle of scotch is cracked open in this studio, more bottles of scotch are gonna be cracked open in this studio. Especially with Kevin. I love it. We we sent him to uh Santa Barbara to the clinic. I'm back. I'm back. He was at Betty Ford and it was supposed to be a 90-day stay. He was there for nine hours. I'm back, Kathy.
SPEAKER_13:Thank God, because how else would he have gotten to know me?
SPEAKER_10:Oh, look at there you go. Would you guys be willing to come on the show again?
SPEAKER_13:Yes, 100%.
SPEAKER_10:Uh, and hopefully next time we can figure out the technology. Maybe in person.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think we should like do like a um we'll we'll we'll figure it out, but we should probably test it. Yeah, we're gonna try to do that.
SPEAKER_10:Kathy, Kevin, Kevin said uh next time in-person interview, one-on-one interview.
SPEAKER_07:I'd be willing to come up there. Close or up. Oh, really? 100% test. Awesome.
SPEAKER_10:Kevin, get the duct tape and rope ready. No? Oh man.
SPEAKER_02:I think it'd be funny. I kind of want like the the like the whole setup.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah. Uh yeah, you miss your daddy money bags. We're gonna have to get fucking more microphones.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, miss it. My Mr. Papa Giorgio, go get us some shit.
SPEAKER_08:Even she knows. Oh, Mario brother over here.
SPEAKER_07:Holy shit. That's great. Wait, how many?
SPEAKER_03:Uh thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, thank you, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:Make sure you talk this up to your friend Jen and tell him. I'm not even lying. She should have fucked off her date and come on the show.
SPEAKER_10:This guy's curled up in his chair like I've never seen him curled up before. But we can't thank you enough. Uh, we appreciate you guys coming on, and so until next time. Um let's do it again. Sure. Sure. We could do the battle of the sexes. Oh, I would love to get like a get like a fucking do a game show.
SPEAKER_02:The technology has to get better.
SPEAKER_10:No, excuse me. Oh, what? Who's that demanding that?
SPEAKER_08:I think you better fuck a watch.
SPEAKER_07:Was that Pam? That was Pam. Totally Pam.
SPEAKER_10:No, that was Kristen. Kristen? Kristen was talking shit. Kristen, you you get stuck in the green room now.
SPEAKER_12:What am I doing?
SPEAKER_10:You're gonna go in the green room and you're gonna listen to the show out there through the door.
SPEAKER_03:I'm just saying we should probably coordinate better on the We've been doing that for five years.
SPEAKER_08:Hey, listen, if you have a fucking young Korean person who knows how to use this shit, send them the fuck up here.
SPEAKER_10:And preferably his name is Sim Chow.
SPEAKER_07:You know, like shut up, Pam. It's our show.
SPEAKER_10:Right? It wasn't even Pam. It wasn't Pam's not even on video. It wasn't even Pam. You're attacking Pam, Kevin. Sorry, Pam. Yeah. That was a no Kevin misshot, uh, misshot his RPG for the terrorist attack at the role. It's not even Kevin anymore. It's Muhammad Adi. Yeah, Muhammad Adi.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:So but we'll uh we'll definitely have you on next time. Um what I'm gonna do right now, I'm actually going to throw this in the editor and release it right away. We gotta get this out. Release it right away. So um tomorrow, uh do us a favor too. Can you tell tell your friends to like, subscribe? Um the more okay, then this is the last time we will be discussing anything. How does that sound? Okay, we make it. We make the rules here.
SPEAKER_02:We don't want witnesses to no, we will we'll share a body and I think uh the next then I th this went really great. And I love you, Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:The next she's like, I'm so sick of him saying it. Is that actually the first time I said it? No, I love you too, you fucking stalker.
SPEAKER_08:You know, I she'd be thinking about it a little later, though.
SPEAKER_07:I I thought that maybe earlier.
SPEAKER_04:I'll be up late tonight.
SPEAKER_11:Fall me.
SPEAKER_08:Send your contact info.
SPEAKER_10:Pulling the bunny rabbit out.
SPEAKER_12:Love you so much.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I love Kevin. Kevin has a bunny rabbit.
SPEAKER_08:We're sending actually we should send them to bunny rabbits while we still hold a control.
SPEAKER_10:Actually, would you guys like some would you guys like some merch?
SPEAKER_11:Oh. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, uh, what we'll do is uh exchange your info with Maddie. We'll mail you out some t-shirts. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Now you're gonna know my address. You can come stalk me.
SPEAKER_08:Is it dildo? Or or perhaps I'll just give it to fucking Christy and Jordan. I just said t-shirts. How about that?
SPEAKER_10:You want us to throw in the T I D dildo? We'll throw it in.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Do you have them? Maddie lets me for lunch.
SPEAKER_10:Black double-sided suction cup? Or suction.
SPEAKER_08:Suction cup dill.
SPEAKER_13:That'd be interesting.
SPEAKER_08:This is weird. A bit. There's a lot of consideration going on right now. A bit.
SPEAKER_13:No t-shirts for me. I don't need I don't want I don't usually wear t-shirts.
SPEAKER_10:All right, then the dill, the dill you get.
SPEAKER_13:Thanks, baby.
SPEAKER_10:Kathy, we're gonna send you a um a mold of Kevin's penis and a dildo.
SPEAKER_12:Listen. See if it works for me.
SPEAKER_10:It may not take anything off the sides, but it gets all the way to the bottom. That's all I gotta say. That's all I gotta say right there.
SPEAKER_11:Wow.
SPEAKER_07:Wow, but dude, like, wow.
SPEAKER_13:I need to feel a little funny down there, so we gotta spot.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, hey. All right, all righty. Right? Hey. I'm gonna go home and punch myself in the face now. Oh, fine. Kathy, center stage. Kathy. Ladies and gentlemen, uh, VIP, center stage.
SPEAKER_07:Kathy, center stage. She said northern Jersey, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:You see my ears? They're symmetrical. Okay.
SPEAKER_09:Okay. I like I like how you're talking. Symmetrical ears, you're good. Like how you're talking.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, that's a first. That was a first for me. Like, I didn't even know how to answer it, so I went, thank you. Nobody's ever mentioned.
SPEAKER_10:I would have probably like tugged on something.
SPEAKER_08:Bill is so angry that he's not on here. He's sending fucking mail.
SPEAKER_07:Is he?
SPEAKER_08:In a text message, yeah. To us? Yes.
SPEAKER_11:Who, Bill?
SPEAKER_10:This son of a bitch. Oh my god. Bill, cool your fucking jets. He is so angry with that. Billy, cool your fucking silverback jets.
SPEAKER_03:Cool your silverback jets.
SPEAKER_10:All right, ladies. Thank you so much for joining us. And uh just if you like the merch with the dills and everything else, just exchange info with Maddie. We'll get it out there to you.
SPEAKER_08:Can we just buy a dill and slap it?
SPEAKER_10:I'm actually going to overnight Kevin. Oh. I'm in. Awesome. I'm gonna go eat by myself now.
SPEAKER_08:I don't know if I want to have lunch with Kathy and Pam. I'm a little scared.
SPEAKER_05:Scared.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, here's a very important, very important question. Very important question. Do you guys like the word moist?
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_12:It doesn't bother me.
SPEAKER_03:Um it comes to brownies or cake, yes. It doesn't like the moist.
SPEAKER_05:A lot of women are like wet. Not moist. It starts off moist and then it gets wet. I don't dislike it. I go from zero to a hundred.
SPEAKER_07:I'm gonna say like Kathy was the Ain't that the truth. I don't dislike it.
SPEAKER_05:I don't dislike it. But actually, Jill said that. Sam said that, but I don't hate the word. No, I don't hate it.
SPEAKER_10:Okay, yeah. There we go.
SPEAKER_05:Moist cake.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, yeah. All right, Kathy. You're still in. Love the moist cake. It's all good. It's all good. But once again, ladies, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Um just send out all of our information to everybody you know. Have them like and subscribe. Maybe we get some family members on. Who never knows?
SPEAKER_11:We'll love that.
SPEAKER_10:We'll dig out some little secrets. What can we ask how the dating was in the 1940s?
SPEAKER_08:We've had Ben Superfan's grandmother on or uh mother-in-law on with her vibrating panties. Yes. Ooh.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah. All right. That was a rough show. Thank you so much. We appreciate that. Thank you, guys. Talk to you soon.
SPEAKER_04:Bye.
SPEAKER_07:Good night, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:I just want to save myself for the head. We're still live, yes?
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, we're still live. Well holy fucking shit. That was a great episode. Billy is so upset. And Billy, you gotta understand something, pal. We're trying to just get through the flow of the show. And you are a you are a filthy pig and we do love you. Yes.
SPEAKER_08:We don't need your fucking male fucking gay porn fucking clippets. You son of a bitch.
SPEAKER_07:Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_08:We went through the whole show.
SPEAKER_10:He said it like 47 times and it wasn't old. Not as any of those times. It was well over 47. Oh, we're gonna count it out. And I I can I can I can edit it. We should actually soundbite it just so we could just keep it going. All right. What's the over under on the amount you said? Hi, Kathy.
SPEAKER_07:Um 18.
SPEAKER_10:No way, dude. Over? I'm taking the over. No, it's under, but it's gotta be about 35. No. No, we're gonna edit it right now and find out. So, ladies and gentlemen, once again, thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_08:We uh mentioned our we we didn't mention our new sponsor to hold on.
SPEAKER_10:Let's let's do it.
SPEAKER_08:All right. The TID show actually has our first real official sponsor.
unknown:Do we get money after?
SPEAKER_08:Uh we they donate cases of beer to us initially. Uh so we gotta be whores first, is what you're saying. Yes.
SPEAKER_10:Okay. As long as we get free shit.
SPEAKER_08:I'm a whores.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, free shit. Can we get a keg in here? We probably could. That'll be great. So who who would be the new sponsor, Maddie?
SPEAKER_08:So our new sponsor is the 52 Beverage Company, which is the prior uh Carmel Beverage at uh 323 Rue 52 in Carmel. Legendary stories out of that store. Legendary stories out of that store. But but there are new owners. It's up and running, it's it's fresh, it's clean.
SPEAKER_10:I mean, you have the variety of beers you can choose at this place.
SPEAKER_08:It's a place to go. Any type of beer you want to get.
SPEAKER_10:So if anybody's in Carmel and there's a party going on, you're going to your friend's house, you want to get yourself a nice IPA, a nice fucking summer wheat, a nice Budweiser, a nice Coors Light. Local brewery, Mike's hard lemonade.
SPEAKER_08:Local brewery send their stuff there, the Newburgh Brewery and whatnot. Did you just say Meister Brow?
SPEAKER_10:Oh my god. No Meister Brown.
SPEAKER_08:No, no.
SPEAKER_10:So and and the name of the what's the name now?
SPEAKER_08:The new name is 52 Beverage Company.
SPEAKER_10:So visit the 52 Beverage Company. Go see Jimmy. Route 52, right by the good old school Putnam concrete.
SPEAKER_08:Go uh go see Jimmy or Jimmy or Jess, they're there.
SPEAKER_10:Fu Chang is the Chinese place right next to it. Fu Cam. Fu Cam. Good Chinese food. Yes, I'm not. So if you want to grab a beer and get some good Chinese, bam. That's the place to go. Two birds, one stone. 52 Beverage Company, Route 52 in Carmel. If you're in Carmel, there's a party. Go see Jim and Jess. Get there. Get there. Be square and get hammered as Kevin is right now. Kevin's pretty fucking hammered.
SPEAKER_11:It's such a fucking disaster.
SPEAKER_08:Because every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
The Joe Rogan Experience
Joe Rogan
The Tim Dillon Show
The Tim Dillon Show
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Theo Von
REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal
Jon Bernthal
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
YMH Studios