Your Dog Cannot Win A Game You Keep Changing

Joshua Tree gave us the perfect pressure test: new place, big distractions, tired dogs, and handlers who want off-leash freedom fast. I’m Meg, and I’m sharing the real takeaways from our desert weekend, from what went well to what slowed progress down. If you’ve ever said “I have marker words” but your dog still looks lost, this one will hit home.

We get into the unsexy fundamentals that make dog training work: picking one goal for a session, setting clean criteria, and using “yes” like it actually means something. I walk through a practical way to teach a verbal sit by pairing an unknown cue with a known cue, then show how I build engagement without begging for attention. You’ll also hear why I reward multiple times while moving backward, how I use a simple “go” food toss game to create focus, and what predictability looks like when you want reliable recall and calmer behavior around people and dogs.

Then we talk structure. Downtime, crate training, car crates, and an off switch are not optional if you’re doing active training or behavior modification. I explain why so many reactive or anxious dogs stay stuck in an impulse loop when they have too much freedom, and how clear consequences reduce stress instead of creating it. We also cover e-collar training, the difference between accountability and punishment, and why a tool can only add clarity if your foundation is already solid.

I close with a personal note on meditation and why handler impulse control matters more than most people think, plus a simple five-minute homework assignment you can start this week. If this helps you, subscribe, share it with a dog friend, and leave a review so more owners can find practical, balanced dog training that actually works.

Visit us on the website here to see what we've got going on and how you can join our pack of good dogs and owners.

Transcript

Van Intro And Weekend Recap

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Guys, welcome back to the Everyday Trainer Podcast. My name is Meg, and I am a dog trainer. Today's episode is gonna be a recap from our Joshua Tree weekend. I'm gonna share some takeaways from that weekend that might be helpful for you and your dog. You know the drill? Grab yourself a tasty drink and meet me back here. Welcome back. Happy Friday. I'm currently recording this episode from inside my van out in the middle of nowhere. It's been a while since I've done a solo episode in my van, and it just feels nice. We're on a little bed in here. It's nice and insulated. It's just the perfect little podcast studio. I have all of my dogs and Nora, a foster train that I am transporting back down to San Diego. And we're just enjoying our time out in the desert. So I had a go home session today with one of our adventure boarding trains. He was with me over the weekend of our Joshua Tree camping retreat. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I had a weekend in Joshua Tree. Oh, that is her. She's always scratching the crate. I had a weekend in Joshua Tree, which was like my version of a dog training seminar. So it's been a while since I've been that close with just um, you know, everyday dog owners. I think a lot of the time, my time recently has been spent helping dog trainers. That is kind of, you know, who I talk to the most. So it was really cool to get to spend the weekend with people who are not necessarily enmeshed in the dog training world, but were just dedicated dog owners wanting to do better for their dogs. Like it was, it was really, really cool to be able to do that. And I hope that I can host more camping things in the future. Some quick little takeaways from the weekend. I wish that I would have made it longer. So we were there for Friday night and Saturday night. So everybody got in on Friday and then left on Sunday morning. I did a longer retreat, but my retreat was more dog trainer focused. And that one, I believe, was seven days. That was not last year, but the year before. So when I first got to California, that's kind of that was my welcome into California, was my training retreat in Josh Retreat. And I really liked that because for the first, I would say like two days, everybody was like a little uncomfy, getting to know each other. And then once you got past the initial like awkwardness, like, okay, we're literally all strangers and now we're living together. Everybody got really comfy and cozy. And I am still such good friends with everybody from that group. So this weekend was really cool, and that we brought together four people from all different walks of life, right? Um, but I do wish that it was a little bit longer so we could get to that point where we're comfy and cozy and you know, actually get to make longer progress with the dogs, I would say. We were also on like in Joshua Tree National Park, which is I'm not a big national park really. If you have not traveled to national parks with dogs, it's really tough. They're not really allowed on any of the trails. You are pretty much just stuck on campsites and main roads, which was fine for us because our campsite was absolutely gorgeous and massive, and we spent a lot of our time there. Um, and then there is a spot that was kind of next to the road that we took all of the dogs in and took pictures, and it was gorgeous and overall, great weekend. I really loved it. Um, but here are some kind of takeaways that I think would be really valuable for you that we talked about over the weekend. So everybody going into that weekend, I feel wanted to start on e-collar, right? We're doing all of this training out in the middle of nowhere, and you know, it's people who are willing to car camp with me, like they've got a little adventure in them. So they want to be able to take their dogs off leash. And we had all different types of dogs, ranging from, you know, a dog trainer's dog, pretty well trained, just wanted to work on, you know, socializing around people to a, you know, pretty reactive dog. We were working across the spectrum of dogs. But everybody's main goal was to work on e-collar. And so over that weekend, you know, we did the initial introductions at first. We get to kind of see where everybody is at in their training. And what I see with most folks, and I see this in my virtual show to shadow program as well, and those are dog trainers, okay? We are not being clear and consistent in our communication. And I feel like I am such a broken record. And people go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Meg, I'm using my marker words. I'm, you know, doing the leash stuff. I'm I'm doing all of the things. And I go, okay, great, show me. And then what I'm seeing is some big mistakes. Uh, we say yes, and sometimes we reward out of position, sometimes we reward in position. Yes doesn't really mean anything to the dog, they don't really understand what yes means. All they know it as is, okay, she says yes, and then food comes, but it's not really being associated with a certain behavior. And so, in order for us to change behavior in the dog, the dog has to understand what is going on and what the game is. Okay, and so I know that there are dog trainers out there that say markers aren't super important and the timing doesn't really matter that much. But if you're going to be using markers, you need to know how to use them. Okay. So something that I taught the girls that weekend is before we go into our training session, we need to have some sort of idea of what behavior we want to work on in that session. Whether it's something as simple as, okay, I want to teach my dog a verbal sit, right? So another little test that we did is put your hands down to your side, tell your dog sit. Do they know sit without you standing over them, holding a piece of food saying, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Most dogs don't, right? So that right there gives us something that we can work on. Okay, my dog is showing me that they don't actually know the word sit. They're just relying on my body language. Okay, so I want to go into the training session with some sort of idea of my goal for that session, make it really, really easy for you and the dog. Okay, so let's say we're working on sit. What ways can I teach my dog sit? Well, we know that if I hold a piece of food up, my dog knows that as a sit. Okay, great. So that's a known cue that the dog has for a sit. Awesome. We can use that. What are some other ways that our dogs know how to sit? Maybe our dog understands leash pressure backing up means sit. Okay, perfect. We can use that as well. So we know that our unknown behavior is that verbal command sit. So we're always going to put our unknown behavior first, followed by our known or sorry, our unknown cue first, followed by our known cue. And we want to create a little bit of space in between those. And all of this is about our clear communication leading up to the importance and clarity of our marker words. Okay. So we have our hands down to our side, we're going to say sit. You're going to pause for a second, and then you're going to add in that guidance. So that guidance could be, let's say we're going to hold a piece of food up above the dog's head. They sit, we're going to say yes, as soon as that dog's butt touches the ground. And we're going to shuffle backwards and we're going to reward the dog with food multiple times. Okay. So after one rep, the dog probably doesn't really know the game. But after a couple reps, the dog will start to be able to predict what that cue sit means. Okay. So we do it again, we say sit with our arms down to our side. The dog doesn't know. We go into our cue, which is the hand goes up, the dog sits, we say yes, we shuffle backwards, we pay. We're doing a lot of things here in this very simple session. But this is where I see a lot of people messing up is they say, yeah, yeah, yeah, Meg, I'm using my markers. And they're marking anything and everything. And that happens when we don't have a clear goal of what we want to work on in our session. So something that I taught the girls that weekend is have your dog away, have your dog in a crate or in on a tether, on a place cot, have your dog away. You're not doing anything with them. You're going to grab all the things that you need for your training session. You're going to put on your training skirt or your treat pouch, fill it with the treats that you're going to use. Maybe you decide I want to use a tug as my reward in this session. Great. Have your tug in your training skirt and come up with a game plan for yourself of okay, what do I want to work on today? And if you don't really know, test the sit, right? Have your hands down to the side, say sit. If your dog doesn't know it, okay, great. We're going to work on a verbal sit. And each time you do these sessions, you'll kind of find holes in your training. Okay. And that's kind of what I do is I'll do a session. And then during that session, I go, oh, okay, there's a hole in my training. My dog actually doesn't know the verbal sit. So I know that I need to work on that. Okay. So the clarity in our markers comes from knowing what behavior we're actually marking. I know you guys see it on social media all the time because I do and I'm not even looking for it. People are just yesing and paying. Yes, pay. Yes, pay. But they're not really marking a consistent behavior. And so I watch these videos and the dogs look confused. The dogs don't know what they're doing in order to get paid because it's not consistent. There, there's no predictability in what the dog needs to do in order to get that reward. They're just like, okay, well, I'm just, I'm just, you know, doing things. And every now and then I get I get paid for it. So when we come up with a clear goal for our training session, it makes it clear to us and the dog what criteria gets rewarded. I hope that makes sense. And like I said, this is something that I see all the time. I go, Do you have marker words? Oh yeah, for sure. Awesome. Go ahead and take your dog out. Show me, show me what you got. And people, their dog will just be walking around and they'll say, Yes, pay the dog. Yes, pay the dog. Yes, pay the dog. Okay. What behavior are we marking? What are you trying to get out of the dog? Oh, well, you just asked me if I had marker words. So I was showing you that I had marker words. Okay. So I hope that kind of clears up things, things that I see as far as that goes. Now, the reason why I want you to be prepared before you ever take your dog out is because for these active sessions, and these active sessions are the ones where I am teaching the doll the dog something very specific. I'm shaping behaviors. These sessions are short, sweet, fast-paced, and high energy. I want you to have a game plan before and all of your treats, your leashes, whatever you need in that training session, I want you to be ready before you take your dog out because I want the dog to stay tuned in and checked in with you throughout this training session. I don't want you standing there going, um, actually, I don't know what I want to do next. And then meanwhile, your dog is like, okay, well, I'm gonna go sniff the ground or go over here and you know, focus on this dog or this person or anything but you, right? Because when you check out, your dog is gonna check out. So I like to start these sessions with some sort of cue to open the session up. For me, that is a are you ready? For my dogs, they start barking. And I've taught them that you activate me, right? So I'll go and let's say I'm in our facility, I'll go and stand in the middle of the floor and just kind of wait there. And you know, my dogs are kind of walking around and then they go, Oh, she's standing there. I'm gonna go up to her because I want to do a training session. They go up to me, I say, Are you ready? They start barking or spinning or jumping up. Yeah, good job. Come on, come on, come on. And then I will activate. A lot of times, people are begging for their dog's attention. They're come on. The horse clicking, the mouth clicking. You gotta stop doing that. I don't know where that's coming from, but I don't want to be begging for the dog's attention. So let's say you've never done this before and you don't have a dog that's going to come over and activate you. I want you to have your leash. I would use like our 10-foot leashes, hold the end of that leash and just stand there and just wait it out. The dog is gonna sniff the ground, they're gonna try to pull one way, just stand there. Eventually, that dog is gonna be like, what is keeping me from doing what I want? Oh, it's this person that's standing right here. Oh, it's my mom in the middle of the floor just standing there. And they're gonna look back at you. And the moment that they look back and check in with you, you're gonna say, yes, and you're gonna explode and you're gonna shoot backwards and reward your dog pay, pay, pay as you move backwards. They're gonna go, oh my gosh, like I just looked at her and she just exploded with excitement. Okay, we're gonna do that again. The dog looks back at you, yes, pay, pay, pay. So what we've just done here is we've taught the dog how to activate you. I want you to be reactive, not your dog. Okay, so they can we can kind of free shape our way into starting our training session. So now we've got the dog cued in on us. All right, I kind of want to probably build up our food drive a little bit, get the dog like excited to get food. So I can toss a piece of food on the ground and you're just gonna throw it like, you know, a couple feet on the ground, let it roll, make sure that the dog sees it. They chase it, get it, or you can say go, you know, if we're throwing something. It doesn't, depending on your marker or whatever you want to use. I say, uh, I've actually been saying get it, but for me, get it is a reward is already on the ground. So I'm switching it to go. So if you've seen videos of me saying get it, we're switching it to go. Okay. So I'll say go, toss a piece of food, dog chases the piece of food, I'll grab another piece of food in my left hand, I'll say go, I'll toss food in the other direction. And now I've got the dog in kind of this chasing food game back and forth. And this is how we start our sessions. I'm getting the dog amped up, I'm getting them focused on me, I'm getting a little bit of engagement, right? So I do our go, they get the piece of food, I'm gonna start moving backwards, and as soon as the dog starts coming back to me, yes, and then I'm gonna shuffle backwards, pay, pay, pay. When I say pay, pay, pay, I have food in both of my hands, and I'm taking a step backwards, paying the dog, moving backwards, paying the dog, alternating between both hands there. Now, the reason why I remore reward more than once is because I want the dog to keep checking in with me. I want them to stay with me and be like, oh wow, I'm gonna keep following her because she keeps paying me. I'm sure you guys have seen it where you'll say yes, pay your dog, and then they leave again, right? They're like, all right, well, I completed the task, I got my food, bye. Well, I recall my dog, I say yes, he comes back to me, and then he runs away again. Well, in his mind, he has completed the behavior. He's gotten his reward. He says, Okay, I'm gonna go back to doing whatever I want to do. So the way that we can work with that is to continue paying your dog. And they're gonna go, oh my gosh, well, I love hanging around her. I'm gonna hang around her because she keeps rewarding me. And then from there, once we've got the dog focused on us and we've kind of, you know, done a little bit of conditioning with our go marker and our yes marker. Now I can start working on the behaviors that I want to work on in that given session. So let's say we're working on that sit. Awesome. I'm gonna make sure there's no food in my hand, hands down to my side, sit. The dog doesn't go into a sit. I'm gonna grab a piece of food, lure the dog into a sit. Dog's butt touches the ground. Yes, I'm gonna shoot backwards, pay, pay, pay. Again, hands down to your side, sit. Dog doesn't know what to do. We're gonna add in some guidance. Amazing! Yes, they sit, shuffle backwards, pay, pay, pay. Okay. Eventually, you're gonna say sit, and the dog is going to predict the behavior that got that reward without that second cue. And that's what we're looking for. So we say sit, wait a second, wait a second, dog's butt touches the ground, yes, shuffle backwards, pay, pay, pay. So we have just now successfully taught our dog a verbal sit. Now, while you're doing this, you might realize that, you know, maybe the dog doesn't stay in the sit or they don't go down all the way. We go, okay, I wanna I wanna add some duration to my sit. So next time I take my dog out, that's what we'll work on. Okay, I've got a dog that is now understanding our verbal sit. All right, let's take it to the next level. Let's add some duration to that. Or maybe let's work on our down next time. See if the dog knows down with my hands down to the side. Then maybe the session after that, it's can my dog switch between sit and down and sit with my hands down to my side? Right? So that's kind of the progression of our training sessions, but it's super, super important. This clarity in our markers and our communication and our expectations of our dog, because without it, they're not able to predict behavior. They don't know what behavior gets them rewarded or what behavior gets them punished, which we haven't even touched on e-callers or punishment just yet. So I get a, you know, a couple good reps in. Let's say we're five minutes into our session. Amazing. We're gonna end it there. I'm gonna end the session with all done. All done. The dog is like, What? That's it. That's all done. Yep, all done. All right, come on. We'll take them outside, go potty, and then put them in their crate. Downtime is extremely, extremely important when it comes to training our dogs. And it is probably the thing that I get the most backlash from, from clients, from people that do board and trains with me, from people that come into classes. And something that I noticed the weekend of, you know, this Joshua Tree workshop is we weren't able to progress as much as I would have liked with the dogs because the dogs, some of them, were not crate trained. They had a lot of separation anxiety. There, they would struggle if their owners would walk away from them. They would struggle being left alone in the car. And if you've come to our facility before, you know that we are constantly pushing everybody to get car crates because our dogs only have so much gas in the tank when we're doing these active training sessions. We're using their body, we're making them use their brain, practice impulse control. So we really only get, I would say, max 15 minutes from the dogs. And 15 minutes is a long time to do an active training session. And then afterwards, I want to be able to put the dog away and then be able to process what they just learned. There's been a few studies on this, and I don't know if they're directly related to dogs per se. But I remember when I was in college, that was something that was studied was, you know, go and study whatever it is that you need to study and then rest, take a nap. It helps you retain that information. And it's the same thing for our dogs. So the downtime is almost equally as important as the active time of us teaching our dogs whatever we want to teach them. Okay. And everybody wants to use positive reinforcement. No one, I don't want to say no one, but the biggest, one of the biggest battles that I have aside from crates is using leash pressure, telling our dogs no, punishing our dogs, right? We don't like to do that as humans. Like we don't like to punish our dogs, which is fair, I don't necessarily love it. I know that it's an important part in training. But if we want to use positive reinforcement and make everything, you know, this great association and be able to shape behaviors in that way, it's also very important in that we limit our dog's freedom because a dog that is allowed to do whatever it wants all day long is not going to want to work with you, even if you're holding a piece of chicken in front of its face. So that was kind of a struggle that I had that weekend was one, it was kind of hot. We were extremely active with the dogs. We walked them in the morning. The dogs were pretty much out with us all day. They were exhausted. Trying to do active training sessions with them was very, very difficult because they weren't given as much downtime as they needed to get the energy that I wanted in those active training sessions. Okay. So the downtime is just as important for our dogs. And I would say that most people are doing too much with their dogs, too much unproductive stuff. Okay. So I want the time out of your out of the crate for your dog to be productive, especially if we're in a place where we are trying to teach new behaviors, teach new skills, maybe do behavioral modification. And that's something that dog trainers are very good at in a board and train program is when the dog is out, it is productive. I'm not allowing you to rehearse behaviors that I don't want you to continue rehearsing. And also, I am working very hard at building up your motivation so that I can shape the behaviors that I do want to see more of from you. And then the downtime in the crate is okay, the dog gets to relax, they get to have an off switch. A lot of dogs and people also really, really struggle with this. We struggle with doing too much with our dogs and just letting them, you know, roam around our house, do whatever they want. And then we take them out of the house, put them on a leash, and we wonder why they're doing whatever they want. We wonder why they're pulling us down the street, why they're barking at dogs, why they're constantly sniffing and dragging us everywhere and doing whatever they want. Well, it's because that's what the majority of their day looks like. And now if you have a cuppy cake dog and you say, Oh, Meg, I don't have to crate my dog. I don't necessarily crate Zoe. Zoe is crated right now because she's in the van, but I'm not really crating my oldest golden that much. And if you've been to our facility, you know she's kind of the supervisor. She hangs out upstairs and watches all of the classes. She's not a bad dog. She she can't hear me anymore. She lost her hearing, but she listens to us for the most part now with hand signals. And she's never struggled with reactivity or any issues really, other than stealing butter off the counter. So, you know, she's kind of this perfect cuppy cake dog that I could say, well, she doesn't really need to be crated, and I don't crate her a lot of the time, but she's also 13 years old. I'm not doing too many active training sessions with her, but I have in the past, and also we do do training sessions with her, and she gives us tons of energy and she's so excited to train. She loves it so much. And then whenever she's done, she goes and passes out on her little temperatic bed, you know. But the problem that I see with a lot of dogs is they don't settle very well on their own and they don't really know what to do because we're not giving guidance and we, you know, don't tell our dogs no, we don't give them structure, we don't create them, and then we're wondering why they have all of these bad behaviors, why they're really pushy with us, why they drag us all over the place on the walk. You know, that is why. So dog training is really this combination of finding the balance of downtime and, you know, active time with our dogs. I want to make sure that I'm fulfilling my dog and teaching new behaviors and, you know, reinforcing the things that I want them to do more of and also telling them no when they need to be told no, but in a balanced way, to where my whole life doesn't revolve around doing active training sessions with you. You know, I do need to also go take a shower and go to work and work on my computer and do things. And it's okay for them to have boring days where maybe they're in the crate a little bit more, and more active days where we go hiking and you know, we're out in nature and we do all of this stuff, and maybe I do three active training sessions a day and my whole day has revolved around you. That's totally okay too, you know. But if we're working through behavioral issues, we need to find that balance. And I recently had a board and train, the one who the I just did a go-home session with Bruce, and that was something that I was explaining to his owner. She was like, wow, he is so relaxed. Like he would never relax before. And he went from lunging at joggers and people and growling and lunging at, you know, anybody who would walk, not even close to him, within, you know, 15 feet of him, to now he can hang out on place and he just kind of like watches the world go by and he puts himself on place, he walks nicely at heel. He's genuinely a much more chill guy. And they were giving him CBD and calming treats and all of this stuff to calm him down when really he just needed more structure. But the beginning of our boredom train was honestly very boring for him because I would take him out to do an active training session, and he's very used to doing whatever he wants whenever he wants, and he didn't really want to train with me. So I go, okay, well, well, I'm gonna put you back in the crate. We'll try again later. I take him out later. I do some tree chases. He's like, eh, I don't really care. I'd rather go sniff on this, or he would like mark inside the facility, right? Okay, nope, we're gonna go back into the crate. And I'm not necessarily using it as this, like, you know, oh, you're going, you know, into jail and this is a big punishment. The punishment is we're not gonna do a training session, right? I'm gonna take that away from you. And if you, if you give me something, I I make these training sessions really fun for you, okay? So the first, I would say half of our boarding training was very boring for him because every time I would take him out, he was more interested in everything else but me. And I'm not gonna beg for his attention. I go, okay, you know, that's okay. I'm just gonna put you back away. We'll take you out later and we'll try again. And eventually I, you know, take him out for a training session. He doesn't want to engage with me. That's okay, we go back in. He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Uh I don't I don't really want to go back in. That's okay, you're gonna go back in. And then I take him out later and he's like, All right, lady, what do you want? What do what do I need to do? Right? He's kind of looking at me. All right, yeah, go chase the food. He goes and gets it. Go chase the food. Yes, he shoots back to me, gets food, pay, pay, pay. He goes, you know what? This is actually pretty fun. I'm gonna stay engaged with her. So he stays engaged with me. We hang out for a longer time. We have a longer training session. He goes, Oh my gosh, that was actually a lot of fun. And then I put him on place, I let him hang out on place and relax. Put him away, take him out again later. We do the same thing. He goes, Okay, these are actually really fun. I like doing these training sessions. And while I'm doing these training sessions, I'm conditioning my marker words, practicing my timing, practicing my body language, building up our communication with Bruce so that I can teach him heal, teach him sit, teach him down, teach him place, teach him all of these skills. And eventually, the dog who was once reacting at every dog in person is no longer interested in that because he's like, nah, this is the game. I'm out of the crate, I'm with Meg. We're playing the game right now. I don't care about the person that's walking around the facility. I don't care about, you know, the dogs that are hanging out upstairs. What I care about is playing the game because this game is fun for me. But the thing about the game is the game is only fun if the dog knows how to win. And the dog figures out how to win through predictability. Can the dog predict what gets rewarded and what doesn't? And that is where the clarity in our markers and getting clear on what we are rewarding in that given session is. Because if we don't know, the dog doesn't know. And if the dog doesn't know, the dog is confused in the training session and they are not going to enjoy that training session. And I recently had somebody ask me, how do I monitor the dog's emotional well-being if I use aversives? And I actually really loved that question. I don't love the term aversives, but it's a good opportunity to explain why I don't love that term. It's because, you know, we often associate prong collars and e-collars with aversive training, but in my mind, something that is more rever aversive is putting Bruce away when he doesn't want to go away, but he's not really giving me what I want in the training session, right? I can take that positive thing, which is the training session, away because you're not really giving me any sort of engagement. To me, and for a lot of the dogs that I work with, that is far more aversive than any tool that I use with them. And the other thing about the aversives is they're not necessarily aversive, I'm saying with air quotes, because it's predictable. The aversion and the stress of corrections comes when they're not predictable to the dogs. And that is bad dog training. That is how people, I don't want to say abuse dogs, but that is how people stress dogs out, is they are not consistent in what gets corrected and what gets rewarded. And so now you have a dog who is living kind of in this constant state of stress because they don't know, I don't really know what I need to do. And that stresses me out, right? Because we're saying yes for pretty much everything, and then sometimes the dog gets corrected and the dog doesn't know why they're getting corrected. That is bad dog training. Bad dog training is not using tools, bad dog training is being unpredictable and inconsistent because that is where the stress comes from. And canine decoded recently did a post on this where she did a phenomenal job explaining uh punishment in training and how it was, I believe it was studied in rats. They would uh I it was like electrical stimulation, so I'm gonna say zap. They would zap the rats randomly and this would cause stress. But if the zap became predictable, we were not getting the same levels of stress from the rats. And this is exactly how the e-color works. We can teach the dog what the e-color means, we can layer it over things that they already know, and make it very predictable, make it so that the dog is in control of that stem based on their behavior. And this is where we get into what's called uh operant conditioning. The dog is the operator of the rewards and the punishment based on uh their behavior, they are predicting what behaviors get them rewarded and predicting what behaviors gets them punished. So uh I know a lot of people are really uh hesitant of using tools, but you shouldn't be hesitant of using tools. You should be hesitant of being inconsistent in uh what you're marking, what you're rewarding, and what you're punishing. That inconsistency there is what really stresses the dogs out. So going back to our Joshua Tree weekend, a lot of the girls really wanted to work on e-collar. And I could very much, you know, be like, okay, you want to work on e-collar? Amazing. Let's slap an e-collar on, let's start working the dog. But that's not the type of trainer that I am. I am not a trainer that is just going to first correct dogs. Sometimes I will. There are some cases where we have to stop a behavior immediately, okay? But for the most part, I want to build up a language with the dog because that is going to reduce the stress. So just like how I mentioned before, the stress comes when the dog doesn't know what is going on. Okay. So if I were to layer e-collar on top of their already kind of messy and foggy communication, that would just create this bad association with me, with that environment, with that tool. And that's not what I want to do. And so we go back, we go back to the basics. All right, we're working on sit, you know, we're working on recall, we're working on all of this stuff without tools. Because if you get super solid on this stuff and super clear on your markers, and the dog is shooting back to you when they hear yes, then when we layer on our e-collar, it's very clear to the dog how to turn the e-collar stem off and eventually how to completely avoid the e-collar stem entirely. And a question that I get all the time is well, am I gonna have to use this tool forever? Well, maybe, but also maybe it can just add a little bit of oomph to your no. Maybe it can, you know, add meaning to your no, it can add meaning to your commands, it can add clarity and accountability to your training that you're already doing. And just in that clarity, you're not always gonna have to have that tool on. If you guys watch my videos with my dogs, I very rarely have the e-collar on. And part of that is I'm horrible at keeping them charged. I'm not, I am not responsible enough to keep them charged all the time. But also, I don't necessarily have to have it all the time in order for my dogs to listen because it's just added clarity to our training. So if I'm going someplace new, or let's say I'm doing a training session with Muffin and I need the extra clarity of my e-collar, I'm gonna put my e-collar on, you know? So I'm gonna have all of my, all of my guidance that I need. Maybe I have a prong collar, maybe I have a leash, maybe I got my treat pouch on and my e-collar and all of my things, right? Because I'm teaching a new behavior and I'm gonna need that extra bit of, you know, guidance and clarity and you know, teaching those new behaviors. But do I necessarily need it with, you know, uh just casual recall when I'm taking her out to potty off leash? No, I know she's gonna listen to me, and I'm also not setting her up to fail. I know that there's not gonna be a squirrel that's running across or, you know, she's not gonna chase a car or anything like that, you know. But let's say, you know, Minka loves to chase squirrels. If I go into the forest, am I going to have her e-collar on? Yeah, because I know that there's squirrels there. Or her thing is like dirt bikers. The sound of the dirt bike really gets her jacked up. I'm gonna have her e-collar on if I know that there's gonna be dirt bikes ripping by us, you know, things like that. I know when I need to have my tools on. And it's also very dog dependent. The Goldens, I pretty much never have e-collars on because what's the worst thing that's gonna happen? They're gonna jump up on somebody. You know, Malinois are a little bit different, or if you have a behavioral dog, it's gonna be a little bit different. You're gonna want to have your tools on all the time. And, you know, that's something that Toma's really good at with Hawk. He always has his e-collar on. And he thinks that I'm a crazy person for not having my e-collar on. And maybe it's because I need to be a little bit paranoid, a little bit more paranoid, like Toma, especially when we have dogs that are bred to bite. I should probably have my e-collars on more, you know. But learn, what is it? Do as I say, not as I do, learn from me. Okay. Have your have your tools on. But all that to say, the tools are just there to add clarity, but it's not going to add clarity if you don't have that solid foundation first. And this is something that I preach all the time. You need to have a solid foundation first. You need to have clear communication. I talk about it to my virtual shadow program students all the time. The difference between bad dog trainers and good dog trainers is that the timing of your marker words. What happens when the dog hears a yes? Are they shooting back to you because they're anticipating that reward? Or are they kind of lingering in that sit or that position because they don't really know if you're gonna come and reward them in position, or if they need to come to you, if they're released from the position, there's not a lot of clarity around that. And that's something that I see a lot of you know, dog trainers online are like, it doesn't really matter. Yes is just food. But when we're using yes for everything, we're using yes for nothing. Okay. So if you just want to use positive reinforcement, you can, but you need to make it meaningful. You need to make sure that you're doing it correctly. Okay. That leads us into our next little topic. And something that I noticed over that weekend was a lot of us are really afraid to tell our dogs no, especially when we have fearful dogs. I see and work with a ton of very insecure dogs, very fearful dogs. Bruce, the last board and train that I just had, he was a perfect example of that. He was very forward in his insecurities, meaning that. That he wants to go up into people's spaces and then he realized that he doesn't want to be there. And then he's like kind of losing it. Right. So he's very forward. He's lunging at people. He's saying, Oh God, don't come into my space, but it's my job to make sure that you don't come into my space. So I'm going to lunge and bark at you. Right. Or with a lot of reactive dogs, uh, you know, they're very controlling. They're controlling of their environment because they're insecure. And, you know, they hope that by controlling the dogs and the people around them that they can help a little bit of that insecurity. And so with these dogs, we think that loving them and coddling them and, you know, it's okay, it's okay, is what they need, but it's actually quite contrary. The dog needs, first of all, foundations, foundations, foundations, foundations, clear communications, but also part of our clear communication is clear consequences. There needs to be consequences to certain behaviors because if we stand by and let our dog lunge at people, we are approving that behavior by not disrupting it. We're saying, yeah, that's fine. You can positive reinforce all you want, but if the dog continues to do the behavior right there and we don't intervene in any way, you are approving that behavior. And every single time your dog does that behavior, let's say being reactive, lunging at people, we are tipping the scale in that direction. And all I really see there is yes, the dog is fearful, but that dog is impulsive. And that is why the dog is doing that behavior. Don't get it twisted. It's not just fearfulness, it's fearfulness, but most of all, it's impulsive. And why are our dogs impulsive? Because we let them do whatever they want. They act on their impulses all day long. We open up a chip bag, they rush over to the chip bag, right? We put them on place, we open the front door, they rush off of place. There's no consequence there. There's no consequence to the impulses that don't matter. So there's not going to be clear consequences for the impulses that kind of do matter and can be a little bit dangerous. So we have to create a clear no for our dogs. No has to mean something. And that's a common question that I ask a lot of clients that I work with. How does your dog know what the word no means? Well, you know, I just say it and like, you know, sometimes they'll stop. Do they always stop? Uh, well, I don't know. I would say probably like 60% of the time. Okay. So your dog doesn't really have a meaningful punishment marker. Well, yeah, I guess not. Okay, awesome. We have to teach that. We have to pair our no with something, just like how we pair our yes with a reward to tell the dog, yeah, I really like this, keep doing this. We also need to pair our no with something. Our no could be paired with maybe moving into the dog. No, no, no, no, no, no. We make it personal, right? I'm gonna, you know, use my mom voice, move into the dog, step over them. You can't do that with all dogs. Some dogs are not gonna tolerate you moving into their space like that. So, you know, take that advice with a grain of salt. But a lot of dogs do pretty well with that. Bruce, I think I mentioned this on a previous podcast, but he was very, very impulsive and forward, and he's a dog that's got a bit of an edge to him, and I could not allow him to continue doing the behaviors that he was doing with me. It needed to end there. The second the leash goes over to me, you are not allowed to do these behaviors. Okay. So I took him out, I had him on a slip lead, we're at an empty parking lot, and a girl, not even close to us, literally across the street, jogs by very slowly. Bruce hits the end of the leash. If that leash slipped out of my hand, he would have charged this woman. Okay. So what do I do? I tighten up on my leash, I get into his space, I say no, no, no, no, no, no. He's never been told before. He's never been told no before in that way. He was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. He stops the behavior, he kind of looks at me, he's like, Oh my gosh. I go, all right, come on, let's go. We start walking. No big deal. I'm not gonna linger there, right? And that's super important. We cannot actually linger in those emotions. I'm not mad at him. Did I look like I was mad at him? Yeah, for sure. But I'm not actually mad at him, but I'm adding meaning to my no for him because he needs to know that that behavior ends now. I will never tolerate that behavior. And even though I didn't have an e-collar on him yet, I used what I had, which was leash pressure and spatial pressure, moving into him, using my dog mommy voice. No, you cannot do that. I'm not gonna let you do that. And he took it very well. He goes, Oh my gosh, okay, my bad. All right, no worries, let's keep walking, right? And we keep on about our business. We don't linger there. Okay. Now that makes a lot of people uncomfy, but if you're anti-using tools and that works for your dog, amazing. You've just added meaning to no. So now when your dog hears no, they're going, oh my gosh, okay. I don't I don't need her to come into my space again. That was that was really scary the last time that happened. Okay. Or no has some meaning there. Now, some other ways that you could teach no. Um, a good one to start with is at the crate door. So the dog goes to rush out. No, I close the crate door in the dog. They go to rush out, no, I close the crate door. That to me is not as personal as I would like. It doesn't carry over into other behaviors as well as it just works with the crate. Okay, but that's something that I'll start with, like young dogs, you know, no, you don't get to keep moving forward. The punishment in this case is the door kind of closing in your face. Now, some other ways that we can tell our dogs no. No, a pop on the leash, leash tension. I don't love constant leash tension, but if we need to use it, we can. Um, let's say I have a dog that, and this is more of a severe case, but let's say I have a dog that is like redirecting at me. So they hit the end of the leash, right? They get frustrated, they come back, they look like they're gonna bite me. I'm gonna tighten up on that leash, and that leash pressure is going to stay on until you calm down and relax. When you relax, leash pressure goes off. I'm gonna set you back down. So your behavior turns that pressure off. That's also kind of like a safety thing, you know, we don't need a dog lunging at us, coming back at us, redirecting at us. So always high and tight with our slip lead, you're gonna hold the dog there until they relax a little bit, which is kind of what I did with Bruce, right? Paired with that verbal no. Now, the, in my opinion, best way to add value to our no is through our e-collar. The reason why I love an e-collar so much is especially with big dogs, it just adds some oomph to our word. So I got a lot of small female clients who have really big, gnarly dogs, and there's nothing that they could do to punish that dog, right? There, they are a tiny person trying to move into a big dog space. That dog is like, yeah, right. Okay. But in order for this person to be able to safely walk this dog down the street, that dog needs to know that, okay, yeah, she's gonna hold me accountable. I can't lunge at people, I can't lunge at other dogs. If I do, she's gonna be on me. Okay, so the e-collar can add in some extra oomph to our no, but big butt here, we need to teach the dog what it means. Now, there's two camps of e-collar training. There's the camp of trainers who believes that you shouldn't condition the tool. And I've done both. I have trained both ways. It's really dependent on the dog and the owner and what behaviors I'm looking to correct or what I plan on using the tool for. But there are some people that believe if we condition the dog to low-level STEM, which is just a it's not a punishment, it's literally just a physical sensation, then we're teaching the dog to tolerate higher levels of the STEM, which kind of defeats the purpose of us using it as a punishment. Okay. So this is really valid if let's say I have a dog who is just jumping on counters or digging in the yard, doing some very specific behavior that we could stop very quickly with a punishment. Okay. So I get a client, we got a doodle jumping on the counter, stealing towels. This dog is swallowing the towels. Okay. They say, I can't do, I can't do another vet visit. We need to do something. In an ideal world, I would condition the e-collar, create a really clear foundation, but I know that this person is not gonna do this. They're not gonna use their e-collar for anything but this. So, what we can do is we can set the dog up, we can put an e-collar on, have a towel on the counter, walk out of the room, still be watching the dog. Dog jumps on the counter, grabs the towel. I'm gonna high-level stim that dog. I'm not gonna pair it with a no. I want the dog to think that, oh my gosh, this counter really lit me up. I'm not gonna do that again. I'm not going to jump up on that counter. Okay. So the other camp of training is we teach the dogs a foundation. We teach them our marker words, our leash pressure, and then we layer our e-collar on top of that. So there's two different uh parts to e-collar training. There's escape and there's avoidance. I'm not going to go into depth on these. I have a full podcast where I go in depth on escape and avoidance. But our goal is that let's say I tell the dog sit and they don't sit. I can follow it up with a tap on my e-collar until the dog goes into the behavior. So I teach them, hey, if you don't do the behavior, there's going to be some follow-through on my end. So now the dog knows what the tool is, that it's coming from you, how to turn it off. They're not freaked out by feeling it because it's we've added meaning to it. Okay. But that is not a punishment. That is literally just accountability. Okay. That's the equivalent of, you know, using your leash or your hand movement to guide the dog into sit. It's just a way to make sure that they actually follow through with the behavior that you just told them to do. We can use our e-caller as a punisher as well. So, for example, today we set Bruce up. We had him on place. I walked out from around the house. He did amazing. We didn't even have to correct him, but I told his owner, be prepared to correct him for breaking place and running over to me as I walk around the house. Okay. So I can have a consequence for that impulse. That impulse that Bruce has to get up off of the place and rush people. Okay. That is a behavior that has to stop. And it makes people uncomfy a lot of the time to correct our dogs for these behaviors, correct our dogs for lunging at dogs, correct our dogs for lunging at people or breaking commands or, you know, whatever it may be. But we're correcting the dog for acting on their impulses. We're teaching them that, hey, if you don't use your brain a little bit here, there's gonna be a consequence to that. And so what that does is it teaches the dog very clearly what behavior gets reinforced and what behavior gets punished. And that clarity adds confidence to our dogs because they know exactly what they need to do. Because we have reinforced certain behaviors and we have punished others. There's a reason if you go 95 in a 75, you're gonna get a ticket. Because that punishment there is gonna make you think twice about speeding next time. You're going to associate that road that you got that ticket on. Oh, this is where I got a ticket. I need to, I need to make sure I'm driving the speed limit. It's the same thing for our dogs. But the thing about us is we have a different level of comprehension. We know what we're doing wrong, right? We know that, okay, I need to be reading this sign, and you know, that's why I got the punishment. That is why in our dog training, it is so, so important that we make sure the dog knows why they're being punished. They know what behaviors are getting rewarded. That clarity in our communication. Everything in good dog training goes back to clarity in our communication. So throughout that weekend, that was a big topic for us of, you know, what behaviors do we correct? And sometimes I feel a little bit bad like the bad guy. It kind of sucks because a lot of us are really, really good at the fun part of training, teaching the behaviors. You know, maybe the dog doesn't have a verbal sit, but you know, we've still lured the dog into a sit and you know, lured the dog into a down and a paw and like all of this stuff. That's fun. What's not fun is telling our dogs no or putting them in a crate. And that's where people really struggle with. And that's why sometimes I feel like the bad guy, because that is a lot of the advice that I'm giving to people is you gotta tell your dog no. At some point, there has to be a consequence for this behavior, or the dog is going to keep doing it. And especially for like fearful, reactive dogs, they don't want to keep rehearsing it. They're literally just stuck in this impulse loop of this is just what I do, this is just what I do, this is just what I do, you know? And we have to break that. And I would rather you guys correct your dog one time at high level versus having to nag them constantly with low level leash pressure, low level stim. There's there's value in that clarity there. And that is why Bruce is now back at home and is a chill guy, right? Because I let him make those mistakes and get punished. And now he knows what behaviors get punished and what behaviors get rewarded. He's not sitting there in a state of constant stress worrying about what's going to happen next. He knows exactly what's going to happen next. All he needs to do is worry about what I tell him to do. And this isn't a matter of being alpha over a dog or having a bunch of control over the dog, but it's a matter of showing the dog, hey, you've been making some not so great decisions recently, and you don't have to worry about it. I got you. I'm gonna advocate for you. I'm gonna tell you what you need to do. I'm gonna tell you what I don't want you to do in certain situations. I'm gonna make sure that nobody comes into your space if that makes you uncomfy. It's not your job. You're living in my world. It is my job as your designated human to make sure that you understand how you need to succeed in this world. And that is how we keep dogs in homes. People don't like telling dogs no, they can't tolerate the bad behaviors anymore, and they drop their dogs off at shelters, and then the cycle continues. We grab the dogs from the shelter, we say, Oh, they just needed love, they just needed a loving home. The dog comes into the home, they're reactive, they're biting, they have bad behaviors, they're doing what we don't want, but you know, they just needed love. No, they need somebody to be a strong handler and tell them what to do and what not to do. They need a strong leader, so that's what we need to be for our dogs. And I know it makes us uncomfortable to talk about punishment and you know, creating our dogs, and it can seem bad, but we really need to reframe what it means to love our dogs. Loving our dogs is not endless freedom, it's not avoiding discomfort, it is teaching our dogs to work through that so that they can see, succeed, and ultimately have more freedom. So that was kind of the synopsis of you know the the conversations that we had over the weekend and what I was seeing. I really love working with people. And recently I've been doing a lot of board and trains. I did the virtual shadow program this last month, I did that weekend. It's really important for me as somebody that is so enmeshed in this to see what folks are doing with their dogs. Because I know that so many people are struggling, but I don't always see it because we're kind of in our little bubble of like, yeah, of course this is how we train, of course this is what we do. Like it just makes sense. We see the success for the dogs, but I know that there is so much conflicting information out there. So I hope that this provided some clarity in our communication for you. It's all about clarity. And I wanted to kind of end this podcast on uh uh kind of a note to bring it back to ourselves a little bit. I recently have been getting back into meditation, and if you've listened to my previous episodes, I have always been very big into meditation, not because I'm some woo-woo hippie or you know, whatever it may be, but I really, really, really struggled mentally in my 20s. It was a very difficult time for me. I haven't really gone too in depth into like my high school and college years, but those were very difficult. Um, my parents were in the process of getting divorced, and then that got put on pause because my mom got diagnosed with cancer. We were told that she only had three months to live. I was away at school, so I didn't really know what was going on. That was when I got Zoe. Crazy story. I actually got Zoe the day that I found out my mom was dying of cancer, which I'm gonna start crying, but I truly believe that Zoe was brought into my life that day because I don't believe that I would have made it through any of that without her. And, you know, my mom is alive and well. Well, now she recovered, but it was very, very tough for me. I moved out of my hometown, small town outside of Kansas City, and I moved to Orlando for college and I didn't know anybody and I didn't have any money. I used all of my summer job money to pay for my dorm. I didn't even have enough money for a meal plan. I it was it was a lot. And I really struggled with depression and anxiety through a lot of my college years. And it got so bad in grad school. So once I graduated, go into grad school, it was so bad living in my head that I knew that I had to do something. I just didn't know what. I was like, I will literally do anything at this point because living in my own brain is horrible. It's literally torture. And I remember I was going for a walk with my dogs, and I was like, I need, I need to do something. I get on my phone and I find this meditation app. And at the time when I was in grad school, I was not sleeping. I could not sleep. I had too much anxiety. My brain was just running at a thousand miles per minute. So I got this meditation app, and every single night before bed, I would listen to this meditation app to help me fall asleep. And I would fall asleep. And it kind of saved my life. I wasn't necessarily making any major improvements because it was just a very surface level meditation app. But it led me to a podcast called 10% happier. And I started listening to this podcast. If you've ever listened to the podcast before, the host is a CBS news reporter. And he actually had a panic attack on live TV. And that was kind of the breaking point for him of okay, I need to figure out what I need to do because this is not working. I had a, you know, anxiety and coke-induced panic attack on TV. And so he did the dive into meditation as well, very similar to me. And I started listening to this podcast and learning more about meditation and the power of our thoughts. And I went a little more in-depth into what this looked like for me. You'll hear me compare meditation to dog training a lot. And the reason because when you're in meditation, we're going to talk mindfulness meditation. The goal of meditation is to focus on something. For a lot of us, that's going to be our breath. So we're going to lay there, we're going to breathe in, we're going to breathe out. We're going to breathe in. And eventually, very quickly, most likely, our thoughts are going to wander off into something else. We're going to go, I didn't check that email. I never responded to them. Oh, you know what? I didn't write my grocery list either. Oh my gosh, I didn't send that invoice. Oh my gosh, I need to send that invoice. And then when you catch yourself, oh my gosh, my breath. We're going to go back to our breath. Breathe in, breathe out. And very quickly, your thoughts are going to wander off again. And you're going to bring it back. And for me, I sit in meditation and I watch my thoughts. I watch them race. I watch how easily I wander. And it reminds me of our dogs. Because I struggle. I struggle so hard to sit there and focus on my breath. And our dogs are the same way. Their minds are running at a thousand miles a minute and they are acting on every impulse, right? So they're sitting there and they go, oh my gosh, a squirrel, I'm going to go chase that squirrel. Oh my gosh, a person, I'm going to go chase that person. They're very physical with their thoughts. They don't have separation between the stimulus and the action. Not as much as we do. And so it's our job as the uh conscious beings, we'll say that, that we are, to help our dogs navigate those impulsive thoughts just in the same way as in meditation, we can always bring ourselves back to the breath. So I got into meditation when I was in college, and life has been a little bit better. So I've kind of gotten out of it a bit. But very recently, I was struggling sleeping. I go to therapy every week, and every week she goes, Are you meditating? Are you journaling? Are you exercising? Those are kind of my non-negotiables. And I said, I haven't been meditating. And I haven't been journaling. Well, there you go. There's why I'm struggling to sleep. So I go, okay, I'm gonna meditate. And I lay down and I start breathing. And very quickly, the anxious thoughts roll in. And I go, oh my gosh, I'm really itchy actually. And I start scratching myself. Oh, oh yeah, my breath. I go back to my breath. Oh, now I'm really hot. I rip the covers away from me. Okay. Oh yeah, I go back to my breath. But it was this reminder for me that we are so impulsive and we do the same things to our dogs. We're we're almost, you know, co-conspirators and you know, helping our dogs be reactive. And I saw that that weekend, you know, we're in Joshua Tree, it's hot, but it's not an unsafe type of hot. And we put a dog on place, they break place. Handsler goes, Oh, well, I think it's because they're hot. All right, well, bring them back to place anyways, right? We don't want to act on those thoughts. We don't want to make excuses for our dogs. When we hold them to higher standards, you will be amazed at what they are capable of. Okay? But if we do not ask this of ourselves, how can we ask this of our dogs? If we cannot sit still for two minutes without checking our phones or scratching that itch or swatting that fly, how can we expect our dogs to not do the same? So my little homework assignment to you guys this week is practice just five minutes of sitting still. You're gonna have thoughts. You're gonna be like, oh, my foot is going numb. I need to move my foot. You don't need to move your foot, it's not gonna fall off, I promise. Sit there with that. Maybe concentrate on that feeling. Concentrate on your breath. Maybe a fly lands on you. Your impulse is gonna be to swat that fly away. Maybe somebody's car alarm is going off, and you see the anger inside of you starting to rise. Notice it. Notice those emotions. Maybe you tense up when you hear a dog barking. Notice that stuff. That stuff influences the way in which we interact with our dogs on a day-to-day basis. I see it all the time. A dog starts barking, we clench up. It happened in my session today. They go, Oh, a person! They clench up. I said, look at your arms right now. Look at how tense you are. Oh my gosh, you're so right, right? So we need to practice all of this just as much as our dogs. Okay, so that's your homework assignment for this week. We're gonna end it on a little zen note, and just start with five minutes. Five minutes, find a nice seated position, take some deep breaths, focus on your breath, and if you wander off, which you will, just bring yourself back. So thank you guys so so much for being here, and I'll see you next week. Bye.