Big Sis Advice

Ashley + Ashley are back in the studio this week discussing homage packs and forgotten remixes, unpacking a viral think piece on dating, and dropping a few truth bombs on why so many women are choosing themselves instead of settling. It’s honest, layered, and full of laughs along the way.

00:22 - Kehlani’s “Folded” Remixes

The Ashley’s break down Kehlani’s “Folded” remixes featuring Brandy, Toni Braxton, JoJo, and the men who… didn’t quite deliver. Can someone get Usher on the line? 

08:01 - Ashley + Ashley Take on the “Sing It in the Group Chat” Trend

Turns out Kehlani can REALLY sing… and well, Ashley + Ashley cannot. Would your friends hit the notes? The Ashley’s enter confident and leave with mixed results.

11:18 - Throwback Remix Culture (Deuces Era)

Speaking of remixes, do you remember the stacked “Deuces” lineup. The Ashley’s have questions! Why don’t we get moments like this anymore?!?

18:35 - Things I Saw on the Internet: Dating in 2026

A viral Substack post about dating in 2026 hits close to home opens the door to a bigger conversation Ashley + Ashley couldn’t help me address. The Ashley’s break down what women actually want, the disconnect between men and women, and why peace is no longer negotiable.

30:05 - What Women Actually Want: Hinge Data Enters the Chat

After the viral post, real data enters the conversation. The Ashley’s break down what women actually want and the disconnect between what men think women want vs. what they’re actually asking for

41:29 - @DearYoungQueen Meme of the Week

“If my bra matches my panties… it wasn’t you who decided we’re having sex.” The Ashley’s unpack the real effort that goes into getting ready for a a sexy evening. From wax appointments to special showers to realizingthe harsh truth… men don’t even care about the matching set 😭

50:13 - TV Time: Love Is Blind, Love Island All Stars & Why Reality TV Might Actually Make You Smarter

Reality TV haters, this one’s for you. Ashley + Ashley argue that watching reality TV might actually make you smarter. Don’t debate them, debate your mother. From Love Is Blind (Ohio?) to Love Island All Stars, they break down what’s worth watching, what’s not, and why the drama still delivers.

1:03:08  - It’s Question Time!

The Ashleys get into pubic hair preferences, who would get canceled first, Mexican food preferences, and which rapper they’d confidently (or not) battle for the money.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:21

You know how Kalani has the folded remix with a bunch of people. Oh no. What? So Kalani dropped what she calls the homage pack of Folded. Okay. And she put a bunch of people on Folded. Oh, but each of them got their own song. It wasn't like all the artists were on one song.

SPEAKER_05 0:39

Oh, they just she just did a bunch of versions of it.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

Yeah. So there's three women. It's um Tony Braxton, Brandy, and Jojo. T. And then on the men's side, it's Mario, Neo, and Tank. Bye. It's like a sixth song. How did I miss this? Because you're busy listening to Pink Panther, whatever the girls' names are. Cat's Eye. Cat's Eye. Dude, you're so busy listening to Cat's Eye and uh whoever else the girls got you listening to, you're missing the grown-up music. We love Kaylani too. Yes, I know, but the grown-ups that are Tony Braxton, Brandy, and whatever, they don't know. They don't know. So here's the one with Brandy.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

This is actually the perfect song for Brandy.

SPEAKER_24 1:37

Can you come pick up your colour?

SPEAKER_04 1:45

So there's one with Brandy.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

There's one with Tony. I would love to hear the Tony. That was honestly what I was most excited to hear. Okay, here we go. Jojo can sing too. You hear me? Yeah. But Tony has a different tone. I gotta hear this. Brandy hit right on it. I'm interested to hear how Tony sounds.

SPEAKER_20 2:04

Already falling a fire.

SPEAKER_21 2:06

Already falling a fire. No big sis advice. No big sis advice. Sang it to Louise. You're gonna build a story. Oh, go, Tony. Tell her. They go to back to cheat on it. And let it even go crazy. Crazy. You gonna keep telling me promises, promise, promise, you bet. Oh no rolls in the style. They never gonna be the way they were when you stop. Listen to a feeling, dear gotta step up, so wait all the day.

SPEAKER_24 2:45

So if you wanna go stop waiting.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

I'm picking up them clothes. Stop and stop, stop folding. The door. Yeah. Don't leave it open. But love, you're still hoping. And stop. Stop folding.

SPEAKER_05 3:19

Stop folding, sis. Yeah. She said, let what was it?

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Let me give you some big sis advice. I love that.

SPEAKER_23 3:25

That so then Jojo hit him with the dumb folding for anyone. Wow. Some are with you. I forgot all my rules. You made me feel safe. Put fabric soft on the sheets. When we laid in the bed when we made love and there's no so long. Can you pick up your clothes? I have infolded. Leave me at the door wide open. So it's getting cold. It's not closing. So baby just come on.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

I'm both. It's giving me the chills, bro. Yeah. And then I'm listening this week, and my Spotify's on random, and the Neo one came up. I just knew he was gonna kill it. Yeah, it's Neil. This is right on his like thank you. But he's so busy being somebody else right now.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

I can't do it with him either. It's embarrassing. It is really. That's hilarious. I'm wondering.

SPEAKER_09 5:02

Just gonna make it sound little religious touchdown. It was a four-hour fly. Four hour fly. So I hope that you don't mind me pulling up on you with this time of the night. What shorts? My favorite one you put on it. So let's unpack it. I won't be identified. Oh that's not it. Oh, that's interesting. Maybe we should just recently something. I won't deny that you made your beach. And that body's still a work of art. Alright in between the lines and the messages.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

Okay. And I know it's not T. Right? It's the perfect song for him, but he didn't hit it. No, he didn't hit it. It felt like Usher should be doing that.

SPEAKER_04 6:06

It definitely was giving that Usher needed to do it. Um, so yeah, Mario. So he responds.

SPEAKER_05 6:13

Like, oh, he like he's the dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 6:16

You know how I like it, babe. Put it on the table, girl. Put it on the table, girl. It's been about a week and I can sleep. I'm thinking about all the reasons I should.

SPEAKER_05 6:26

Monty, cut it. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to hear that.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

I don't want to hear that. The men failed, Kalani. Even Tank. Did Tank fail? I honestly haven't heard Tank, so we're about to hear it together for the first time. I already like how this one starts. Me too.

SPEAKER_20 6:42

It kind of starts like the brandy one. Yeah. Let your body decide this is good in the foil already. Fall in the foil already.

SPEAKER_05 6:52

Uh-oh. Oh, here we go. Tank my tank. Okay, Tank. Okay, maybe Tank could do it. Hold on.

SPEAKER_15 7:05

Fall in the fight. Four in fine. For me. Waste of size in an ass, right? This shirt. Cut off the show of your belly. Preminences I'll go through all your things. Shows remind me of your pretty face. Standing on your tippy toes. Nah, she need to run that to Usher.

SPEAKER_05 7:31

I don't want to hear it until Usher does it. Usher would kill it. Would destroy it. Because Tink started talking about a belly ring and stuff. Like, okay, Tink. We know we're old. We're old. Like, let's no, we're not wearing belly rings anymore. Like, that was that was a long time ago. Uh, he lost me. I like his voice though. But Usher could destroy it. You're so right. Usher actually needed to be on it. Usher needed it. Okay, Lonnie, you need to get Usher to help out on the man's side. The the women killed it.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

So you know what I've been doing all week this week is looking at remixes? No. Oh. Because I've been watching that trend where they say asking your friends in the group chat to sing folded. Have you seen that? No. Because we don't actually know the words? No, because it's a hard song to sing.

SPEAKER_05 8:18

Oh. I can hit I can do anything. I'm a great singer.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

They put this ask the group chat to send an audio of them singing the song.

SPEAKER_05 8:50

This is hilarious.

SPEAKER_12 8:55

So come pick up your clothes. Yes, Carlos.

unknown 9:03

Me, me, and the door.

SPEAKER_12 9:06

Wow, yes. Still open. Come pick up your clothes.

SPEAKER_14 9:17

Hey, he hit it.

SPEAKER_24 9:19

He went. Still open.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

So Ashley, I would like to bring this to our podcast.

SPEAKER_04 9:28

Yeah, T. I love it. I'm gonna hit play and I'm gonna stop it at a random point in the song, and you gotta finish it out.

SPEAKER_05 9:35

Okay. Can you know all the words? I I I know some of them. I might be wrong, but I'll be close. So can you come pick up your clothes? I have them folded. Meet me at the door. Hold on. I hold on. Meet me at the door while it's still open. I know it's getting cold out, but it's not frozen. So come pick.

SPEAKER_24 10:15

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:16

I sound way better when Kaylani's singing it with me. That's that's really what I need to do.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

Okay, you hit it and hit you.

SPEAKER_05 10:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_22 10:39

So come pick up your clothes. I've had them folded. Girl, let your body decide if it's as good enough for you. Already fold it up for you. Already folded up for you. Girl, let your body decide if this is good enough. Already fold it up for you. Already fold it up for you. Those ones are tough. Kaylani can see.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

Kaylani can zero. Very tough. So also that's our response to the um Can I Vibe with Y'all podcast? That's the Ask Ashley response.

SPEAKER_05 11:14

Oh, okay. I love that.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

That's funny. So that got me to like thinking about remixes. There was the ultimate deuces remix that featured like five or six of the top rappers in 2010. No way. I don't know if people knew this song or if I just knew it because I worked for Fab. Yeah. Do you remember this? Oh my god, I love this song. Did you know the remix had like T.I., Rick Ross, Fab, Drake? No. Hold on.

SPEAKER_11 11:46

All that pushes for the birds. You ain't nothing but a vulture. Always hoping for the worst. Waiting for me to fuck up. You'll regret the day when I find another girl again. And don't just sweat and beat. Don't just sweat and beat. When I'm talking free.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

Andre three thousand. Stop. Everybody with the mind's a song. Five minutes.

SPEAKER_11 12:30

I know you're mad for someone. Wish you best of luck. Now I'm gonna throw them juices up.

SPEAKER_07 12:38

What you mean I ain't called you, I hit you when I landed. I'm waiting in my hotel room. Seems like we're arguing more and it's getting less romantic. Yeah, I think she'll be able to tell soon. But I forgot I will. I fuck you right I will. I for you like no one has ever ever made you feel. I mean, it's part of our relationships amazing still. I might just put up with the arguing and stay for real. You look it back, girlfriend. They don't even like each other anymore. They fight, they fought the car. Yeah, but telling bitches that you'll always be my missus, and the hardest part about the fucking business is minding your own. And every time I try and break it off, we just yell until we're tired, then I break you off. It's useless all this fighting. Let's get past it now. Even when I throw them deuces, you just send them back around.

SPEAKER_06 13:42

Your crystal fingers glisten, ice cold like Michigan. Hey, look at what we living here. Here we go with this again. I just keep on talking, but I guess that you ain't listening. Rather run around with them nothing ass bitches then. Oh smoking like a chimney. We used to be disquires, now we sing we're finna be enemies. Deep inside is killing me. But soon it's gon' be killing you. 2C hurtin' that 2C turno. That's gon' hurt your feelings, boo. Uh-huh. Think you would be over me. By now, so you go sleepin' with them clowns. They find no release. Just broke her piece, I know caprice. So love must be let go release. Just do the whip again, again. Induces, I must owe your piece. You know what, yo, you a bitch.

SPEAKER_08 14:25

You should have a child of age and cause you a trip. You should make your own competition and you the shit. But all you got is some fucking issues, you fuckin' bitch. I hate niggas, but I love your mom. Give her a kiss for me. Her second. This was about Amber Grows. Baby, you'll get your shit together. You gon' be hot a little while, I'ma be rich forever. Girls seducers, they come and Kanye is like cut them out. They always become a nuisance. Niggas take my old flows, and they take my old swag. He just took my old bitch and turned it to never hurt. I'm stupid, you just give my drama straight TIM Kanye. It's too real for me to comment on. They finally got it through my head, not to run my mouth. So when y'all talk about you know who I don't know who you talking about. I be on some new ish. She was on some old bitch. This was like every rapper. I mean like this was like two. You ain't gon' do it. Introduce it. If you knew better, you do better. Wanna give the middle finger, but I got two better.

SPEAKER_11 15:33

This me, even though you know it's wrong.

SPEAKER_08 15:38

Rizzy voice. Now I'm ghost, baby. Four dogs Rizzy Royce. Tryna work it out, might be a bad business choice. I'm about my business, boys. Plus, I make paper. Come on, that's told news. Yesterday's paper. Ho you talking? What about advice? You might as well shut your mouth. You never score another me. I shut it out. Act like it's coming your hair, girl. Cut it out.

SPEAKER_18 16:05

Got a pocket full of honey, cheetah cross.

SPEAKER_05 16:14

I mean, who put this together? Fabulous job. Like, who did that? I I did it together. All of these people on one record. That's what I'm saying. I thought that more people knew about it. I've never heard this. And I loved this song. And I've heard other remixes of it.

SPEAKER_19 16:31

The farewell email. Andre Falli. But I'm a player. I ain't gonna tell you all the details. What it entails, it's hard to say, like selling seashells. By the seashell. But she's not a four, but neither a whore. Who needs to know more? The kind you can't ignore, but won't to open the door for. Or when in your favorite store, and leave with all them shopping bags. And half of it ain't yours. I did things for ain't rich, ain't poor. I wanted to do more, but hell I just say no. Well enough to know if this was all that she came for. But enough to know tonight, excited she came for times. To my cousin's house to see if I was there. Get your minds out the gutter, man. We out here tryna have a good time. And here I am, all heavy with the words where somebody that's a nerd, likely fast forward. But shit, they ask for it. It's hard to throw up the deuces. Cause when you know it's juicy, you start to sound like confusion when making up excuses. Come on. Chase caboosis, took the track gone. I gotta find me a new locomotive. Stop making sad songs.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

That's next level.

SPEAKER_10 17:46

No more tryna make it work. You make me wanna say bye-bye, say, bye-bye, say, bye-bye to her. You make me wanna say bye-bye, say, bye-bye, say, bye-bye to her.

SPEAKER_05 18:02

What year was that?

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Great question. And was Deuce's remix released?

SPEAKER_04 18:08

2010, November 2nd, 2010. He managed to get Drake, T.I., Fab, Rick Ross, and Andre 3000, and Kanye. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 18:18

And to me, like old Drake is amazing, but New Drake is also good. But old Kanye is like next level because new Kanye is not the same. Yeah. Old Kanye is like the Hugo Kanye. Like he was like really.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

You got mail. So you know, for whatever reason, I don't know why God does this to me, but I feel super connected to the single women of the world. I have a few friends who are tracking their dating lives in their Instagram stories and their close friends. So they're giving like full updates on the guys that they're dating, if they cancel the dates, what's happening on social media and their hinge profiles. Like they're searching. And there is this common thread that like dating probably sucks. Yeah. And that it's really hard for here at women, particularly if you're like successful woman.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

And there is a writer. I mean, I guess she's a writer. She has a substack. What's a substack? See, I I think I need a substack. What is it? Like do you know what medium was? Yeah. It's like a newer correct. It's like a newer medium. Okay. And people are creating communities and gathering followers based on the stories that they're sharing. I think so. I think I need a substack. But anyhow, so there is a girl who's going pretty ham on Substack for sharing her experience dating. Okay. This girl's name is Danielle Lauren. Okay. But she wrote a piece called The State of Dating Black Men in 2026.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

I feel like I saw the headline.

SPEAKER_04 19:57

I didn't read it though. So it says a field report from a successful black woman who refuses to struggle for love. So she says, A year ago, fresh out of an eight-year relationship, I decided I was going to date intentionally. Which is adorable. The last time I dated was 2013. Instagram barely mattered. Nobody was optimizing their personality for the algorithm. Men were not podcast educated. High value was not a personality trait. And the phrase soft life had not yet been weaponized. Dating in 2026 is an entirely different ecosystem. And because 99.99% of my experiences has been with black men, this is a reflection on what I've observed there. Not a universal doctrine, not an attack, not a dissertation, just lived experience, a conversation with other successful black women, and patterns that are too consistent to ignore. Here's what I'm saying. Number one supply, demand, and the ego of it all. Successful educated black men are in high demand and they act like it. That's not shade. That's economics. When supply is limited and demand is high, the market shifts in favor of the seller. Now let's flip it. Successful educated black women, we are not rare. We are statistically overperforming in education. We are building businesses. We are buying homes. We are healing. We are therapized. We are evolving. And here's the inconvenient part we're harder to control. You can't dangle money over us if we make our own. You can't gaslight us if we've already unpacked our trauma and therapy. You can't tell us to be more feminine when we know exactly who we are. Dating a successful black woman is not hard work, it's reflective work. And not everybody wants to look in the mirror at all. A lot of men, especially the ones who feel like they are the prize, want ease. They want admiration without accountability. They want to be coddled, affirmed, mothered. They want a woman who adjusts to them, not one who requires them to grow. And when you are used to being scarce, you start. Behaving like you are irreplaceable. So, number two, the nostalgia trap. There's a growing romanticization of our grandparents' era. I just want a traditional woman. I want someone feminine. I'm old-fashioned. The problem is not tradition, the problem is selective memory. That era looked stable from the outside. Two parent households, clear gender roles, defined structure. But for many women in that generation, it also meant enduring cheating, abuse, financial dependence, and silence. It meant staying because you had no options. We do not want to return to a time when we had fewer rights and fewer exits. And yet, I've noticed many black men are either apolitical, agnostic to social issues, or quietly conservative in ways that directly impact women's autonomy. There's a longing for simple times without the acknowledgement of who those times were simple for. Nostalgia is easy when history was kind to you. It's less charming when it wasn't. Three, I'm pro-black, I'm anti-struggle. This is the part that makes people uncomfortable. As black people, so much of our collective achievement has come through struggle, survival, endurance, resistance. We've been taught that if it costs you something, it's valuable. If it hurts, it's meaningful. But somewhere along the way, that logic bled into love. Yeah. We normalized chaos as chemistry. We labeled instability as passion. We rebranded inconsistency as he's just figuring it out. And if she stays, she's loyal. She's a ride or die. But I do not want to endure love. I want to rest in it. I want love to regulate my nervous system, not fry it. I want it to be a refuge from the world, not another battleground. I want consistency without confusion, affection without anxiety, commitment without coercion. Yeah, that struggle built our ancestors. It does not need to be the down payment for my marriage. So the crossroads. Now let me say this clearly not all black men. But when the same themes show up in my life and in the lives of hundreds of successful black women, I speak to it so it stops feeling random. We want to marry black men. We want beautiful black families. We want cultural alignment and shared experience, but not in exchange for chaos. And here's the shift that feels systemic. Many successful black women are experiencing peaceful solitude for the first time in their lives. We grew up in homes marked by scarcity, instability, or survival mode. Now we have built quiet apartments, curated routines, stable incomes, regulated nervous systems. Our homes are no longer chaotic. They're sanctuaries. And when you have fought to build peace, you do not want to invite disruption casually. Our peace has become a fortress. Only men who add to the stability get access. That requires consistency, emotional maturity, effort, generosity, leadership that is protective, not performative. And some men, especially those used to being in demand, prefer easier options. Women they can impress with money, women they can intimidate, women who will tolerate the misalignment for proximity to status. So what happens? Some women opt out entirely. Some date outside of their race. Some, like me, are at least considering dating outside the country. Because when you live in unaffordable, high-stress society, it distorts everything, including relationships. Scarcity breeds ego. Financial pressure magnifies power struggles. And suddenly, successful becomes a relative term depending on the market you're in. More options shift power. And when women have power and choice, we are less likely to settle for someone who meets six out of ten requirements and call it destiny. This is not bitterness, it's analysis. This is not anti-black men, it's anti-dysfunction. I am pro-black, pro-love, pro-family. I am just no longer pro-chaos. Maybe this is what happens when black women heal. When we get quiet, when we taste stability and realize we like it. Maybe the real revolution is not finding a man. Maybe it's refusing to abandon ourselves to keep one. This concludes my field report. I will continue gathering data. Yeah. And so this went ham. Yeah. All that's in here are friends and family and all of the people that we know. Yeah. And I took that when I saw it and I sent it to some men that I felt like could handle the conversation. Yeah. I sent it to a good friend of mine. He is a black man successful. He's actually divorced, so he's already been married. He is a good father. He's a solid option for a lot of women out here. And he said, I agree in theory. However, I think women have to consider the possibility that the traits that were required to make them successful, independent women aren't desirable traits when it comes to dating. And that's okay, but let's not take that and dump that on the other side and say it's because the man is full of ego and unhealed. Maybe some successful men just don't like those traits in women. So did he name the traits? I said, wait, did you scroll? She addressed that, which was the nostalgia trap part when she said that they want a woman in their feminine era. That was that's the piece of it that worked for men, yeah, but didn't work for us. Yeah, right. And he said, I started speed reading to the end. Did I miss it? So he did. He said, okay, I peeped that. And I actually think that's an incredibly strong point. I truly don't feel like black men held black women down properly when we had the juice. However, I feel black women are fumbling that same juice now that it's their time. So it's made me stop and think for a second, right? Yeah. And all of the traits, as he said, that helped you become a successful woman. Right. So that's being able to stand up for yourself in the workplace. That's not taking no, figuring out a way how to turn that no into a yes. All of those things that I understand could be problematic in a relationship.

SPEAKER_05 28:16

Because it makes you combative.

SPEAKER_04 28:18

When you're outside in the world fighting for yourself, it's one thing, but to bring it into your relationship and fight for yourself is another.

SPEAKER_05 28:25

It's a lose-lose situation. That's what I was gonna say. Because like I see why a man would not want that. You know, the big thing is like, oh, I just need her to be my peace. But then, like the other side of this, well, you're not creating a space for peace. A hundred percent. You gotta be peaceful too. Thank you. So it's like I understand, and I think men and women deserve peace in their household. But men and women need to make it a safe space where we can create peace. Why don't you be a man that I don't have to combat?

SPEAKER_04 29:02

Well, and that's when you think about the nostalgia piece, is that I actually think about how sure, in a previous generation, the man may have felt peace in his household, but that's because the woman was carrying all of the burdens and had no peace of her own.

SPEAKER_24 29:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

And so at this point, when we can find peace in so many outside areas, why would we hold our own burdens as we go out into this world and have to deal with them and hold somebody else's burdens without feeling like we had a place to lay ours? Yeah. We would need to be able to lay our burdens here in order to hold your burdens. Yeah. Because otherwise, I can go find peace anywhere, particularly by myself. Right. And you know, I obviously thought about you a lot in creating your home, really making it a sanctuary for you and your girls. And same for me with my apartment. So much show that it's hard for me to let it go now. It was like it was a refuge. I could go there with the outside world, I could push away. It belonged to me and me only. And the only people that could affect this space were me. Well, you can imagine that black men had a tough time with it. Yeah. A lot of men took that successful black women only want the richest, the this, the that, and that's why you can't find nobody. And it's like you guys just want to.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

I just want a partner, bro.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

That's it. That's it. Peace. Peace. Peace.

SPEAKER_05 30:17

Just meet me where I'm at. I don't need you to do much else.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

And so what happens is it her story goes so viral that Hinge decides to share some facts with her. Hinge replied. Yes. So this substack article is Hinge HQ has entered the chat. After seeing my post, here's what one of the largest dating apps says about what black women actually want.

SPEAKER_05 30:39

And this is just based off of their statistics on the back end of their app. Yeah. So they're really seeing what women want. Really seeing it.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

Okay. So a funny thing happened after I published my state of dating black men in 2026. The post hit over 3 million views and it made its way all the way to Hinn's HQ. Yes, the dating app. Apparently, the field reports for my romantic misadventures are now circulating in corporate offices. And to their credit, the team at Hinge reached out with something I love more than opinions data.

SPEAKER_05 31:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

Because one thing I've noticed about conversations around dating black women is that they also devolve into speculation. Think pieces, podcast panels, men debating on what they think we want.

SPEAKER_05 31:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:19

But what happens when you ask women themselves? Not hypothetically, not culturally, not philosophically, just ask the women who are actually using the app. Yeah. And if you thought black women were all waiting around for millionaire providers and Birkham bags, you might want to sit down. Because that is what a lot of men took from her article. According to Hinge's data, 67% of black women say effort matters more than a partner earning more money than them.

SPEAKER_05 31:46

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

Now, before the internet takes this and runs with it, like women are suddenly uninterested in financial stability, let's add a little nuance. Effort mattering more than a man earning more doesn't mean money is irrelevant.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

Right.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

What it means is that black women are not sitting around demanding a man who earns significantly more than they do. But that does not cancel out assortive mating. Assortive mating simply means people tend to date and marry within their education and income bracket.

SPEAKER_05 32:14

That's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Sociologists have documented this pattern for decades long across every racial group. Doctors marry doctors, lawyers marry lawyers, teachers marry teachers, corporate baddies marry other corporate brothers. That's not gold digging, that's compatibility. Yes. Shared schedules, shared lifestyles, shared expectations about money and ambition.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:34

So when black women say effort matters more than a man earning more than them, what they're really saying is, I don't need you to out-earn me. No, but I need you to show up.

SPEAKER_05 32:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:44

Plan the date, confirm the time, put thought into the relationship because effort signals something deeper than income. It signals intention. When women say they want effort, it's not abstract. Hinge asked black women what that actually looks like in practice. 75% said effort looks like making specific plans in advance. Not we should hang sometime or not, what are you doing tonight? Yeah. Actual plans. And 73% said effort looks like confirming the date details without being asked. In other words, hey, we're still on for Thursday at seven, right? You think this would be basic adult behavior. Apparently, it's revolutionary. Another myth that gets thrown around constantly is that women, especially black women, are only interested in luxury experiences. But Hinge's data tells a very different story. When asked about the most meaningful type of first date, 50% of black women said trying a new activity together. A museum, a cooking class, mini golf.

SPEAKER_05 33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

Only 8% said an expensive dinner.

SPEAKER_05 33:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

Eight.

SPEAKER_05 33:47

Especially for a first date, it's actually not even what you want. No.

SPEAKER_04 33:51

It's more fun to be moving around so that you feel more comfortable because just sitting across the table, like which means the viral internet narrative that women only want four-figure steakhouse dates might be slightly exaggerated.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

Now let's be clear about something. Just because money isn't the number one priority doesn't mean it's irrelevant. 80% of black women still say financial stability is important. And that makes perfect sense. We live in a very expensive world. Rent is expensive, groceries are expensive, childcare is expensive, life is expensive. Wanting a partner who can sustain themselves and contribute to a shared life isn't shallow. It's practical. Now here's the stat that really stood out to me. 63% of heterosexual men say they feel pressured to be the financial provider. Among black men, that number jumps to 77%. But here's the twist. Only 10% of black women say they expect their partner to be the sole financial provider. Right. 10%. That's it. So there's a massive disconnect happening here. Yeah. Men feel immense pressure to provide alone, but the majority of women are not asking them to. Yeah. So the real takeaway is what this data shows is that something gets lost in the noise of all this online dating discourse. Black women are not asking for perfection. We're asking for effort, consistency, planning, emotional presence, shared stability, not saviors, not sponsors, partners. The kind of partners who confirm the reservation. The kind of partners who actually want to spend time together. The kind of partners who show up emotionally and financially alongside us. The loudest voices online keep insisting black women are asking for too much. But when you look at the data, the truth is almost boring in its simplicity. Yeah. We're not asking for exaggerated luxury. We're asking for effort. Yeah. And maybe that's the most revealing part of it all. Because if confirming the date, planning an outing, and showing consistent interest feels like a heavy lift, then the problem was never the woman's expectations.

SPEAKER_05 35:53

No.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

It's how the bar has quietly fallen. As we continue arguing in podcast comment sections.

SPEAKER_05 36:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:01

I just thought that that was a beautiful exploration of dating in 2026. Yeah. And a hell of a way to combat some of the things that you hear when you hear, like, oh, you're actually asking for too much. Oh, they want it all. And it's like, actually, we don't want it all. And so I've been having conversations with a homegirl of mine who's like out here dating. And she references my relationship a lot. And what's super important is that I got with my partner because of all of those things. Because of effort, because of consistency. Yeah. Because of planning the date. I had been with people that had out-earned him 10, 20 times over. That was not why I wanted to be with him. And so as I look back and I'm talking to her about it, I'm like, it sounds like taking a bet on somebody, but there was no bet. He was a surefire bet. Yeah. Because he had showed you what you actually wanted, not what the world was saying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:00

Bet that I wanted or wanted.

SPEAKER_04 37:02

Yes. I think it's also easy for women to get lost in what the world is telling them they want.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

Yes, I agree. I think it's easier your second time around. Like, so for instance, like she was married, so she has a more clear vision of it. Yeah. I think when you're younger and maybe it's your first serious relationship or your first marriage or something, you do get the skewed version of it. And that's why a lot of times those fail. Yeah. And then once you've been in a relationship where it was like, well, it felt like this is what I needed or what I wanted. And now you're looking back, like, oh, those things actually don't matter in the long run because what matters is this. And so for me, doing this the second time around, although I wasn't married, essentially I was. So it's like, I see the things that I thought would make uh a good life, a good relationship, a good family. But now I actually feel like I have a more clear vision of what actually it requires.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

What are some of those things? What did you look for the first time around versus what you're looking for? So I can use a basic example is that like when you're 21 and you're fresh out of fresh out of college, if you do think that financial like a man like a man that is financially successful is important versus now where it's not as important as it was.

SPEAKER_05 38:25

Yeah. I think when you're younger, when you're like in college, like, oh, it's an athlete and he's gonna make a lot of money. But now as a more mature individual, what I realize is it's actually like having like a strong business mind or the not saying that athletes aren't ambitious, but there's a different level to somebody that like is like a businessman or has like that mind of like you know, an entrepreneur, because now that's like what I am, and that is so attractive to me. I don't need someone to make a ton of money, they don't need to make more money than me. But yeah, when someone can teach me something or like has that really smart like business mind, it's also more sustainable, sustainable. And that's what I think it's like when you're younger, you're looking for that oh quick, quick, that quick hit, like, you know, what we're dating drug dealers, we're dating like it's like whatever, the money's there. But then as you get older, you realize, oh, but that's not always sustainable.

SPEAKER_20 39:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:24

And so now you're looking for the it's the mindset that will take you the long run.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

I will even say that I've I have noticed even in our podcast, right? When we started early on, there were a lot of times where we felt like men had some emotions or would re be would react some ways that we'd be like, oh, be a man. That's so sensitive. We would push off this idea of a man that wasn't kind of machissimo.

SPEAKER_05 39:50

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

And now it's so sexy to see a man that's in touch with his emotions that can stop and break down and share how they're really feeling and not be like, oh, they're gay for that. You know, like that is like I feel like a change that has has happened once you get with a man who realizes not in touch with his emotions, and you're like, what the f actually.

SPEAKER_05 40:11

It's like now when I'm dating, if I hear a man that has been in therapy or goes to therapy, I'm like, yes, that is a green flag. I love that because that means that they're working on themselves, which is something that I'm doing as well. And like she said, we're trying to heal from past traumas, and then there's a bunch of men out here that aren't like they and so hearing a man that is in therapy, that doesn't sound like you're a bitch. No, that's actually so attractive. I love that.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Yeah, so it's like I don't know how as a woman you stop yourself from like feeding into what they're saying because a lot of it, what they're saying isn't true, but when you hear it consistently about yourself, yeah, or you see examples of women who have prioritized the things that are not so important, you do kind of start to feel like that's what you should maybe look for. Yeah. Um it's hard. But I would say shout out to all my friends who are actively trying day after day, date after date, hinge failure after hinge failure, because it is hard, not just because your options are limited, but because you're also fighting the stereotypes about yourself.

SPEAKER_05 41:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:21

And that's tough. But keep going, but also keep in mind what you really, really, really want what you really want. Yeah. For sure. Dear young queen, the meme of the week. Um, this week's Dear Young Queen meme says, FYI, if my bra matches my panties when you take off my clothes, it wasn't you who decided to have. And that's on period.

SPEAKER_05 41:44

Because absolutely, it's all the preparation. You know the shower, the whole bath you take before. Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

The particular washes you use that day.

SPEAKER_05 41:57

1000%. Men don't understand what goes into being like a well, it's not groomed for women. What is it? Yeah, I think so. Is it groom? It's maintenance that goes into being a woman ready to have sex.

SPEAKER_04 42:13

They don't understand. No. So speaking of maintenance, yeah. And also about this dating topic we just had, I saw this.

SPEAKER_16 42:21

I told my friend I was bummed I hadn't heard from the guy I was seeing. She's like, you just need to go out with someone else. Just go on a date this week. I'm like, I can't just go on a date. I have to go on an app and sift through the 35 plus inventory, which is very limited, by the way. Then I have to match with a guy, engage in small talk for one to three days, and then set a date for a couple days out. Then I have to get my entire body waxed, do laundry so I have at least one clean pair of underwear, and then go to Sephora and spend$135 for some reason. Then on the day of the date, I have to monitor my caffeine intake so that I don't overshare later, spend the entire day debating whether or not I actually want to go, and then decide that I do. So I have to put on an early 2000s hip hop playlist to pump myself up to the point where I'm running so far behind, I have to order a$25 Uber to still arrive 10 minutes late. So no, Kelsey, it's not that easy.

SPEAKER_05 43:09

No, Kelsey.

SPEAKER_04 43:11

It's not, it's not that easy. Yeah. And so, yeah, if you are getting a woman undressed and in your bed, yeah, she's gone to that wax appointment. Yeah, she did the special shower. The special shower. She's put on her matching bra and panties and the whole thing. Yeah. Do you wear matching bra and panty on like a normal basis?

SPEAKER_05 43:31

No. You don't. I don't. I only wear a matching bra panty if I feel like someone's going to see it. Yeah. I don't do that for myself at all. Half the time I don't have on a bra, also. So it's like, but no, that is specific.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

Yeah. I have like a favorite bra. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I have like a bra I like to wear that may not match my panties for the day, but like it looks good in my shirt. Or there's reasons that I'm picking my panty and bra that has nothing.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

To do with matching as a woman, it's about comfort or the type of shirt you're wearing or whatever. But if it matches, you have to know that that was meaningful, and that meant that we wanted you to take off our clothes at the end of the night.

SPEAKER_04 44:15

Even if I don't know if it's gonna happen, it's in preparation in case it happens.

SPEAKER_05 44:19

Because I don't want to get caught off guard either, right? At all. Right.

SPEAKER_04 44:23

So imagine on Valentine's Day I had like a bra and panty set made. Oh cute. With like his name and like rhinestones like in the middle of the bra and on the back of the thong and whatever. Thinking it's so cutesy. So back to my gift giving. This is what I did for Valentine's Day. It was called I wanted to do a this or that. You know how like those cards you see on the internet. That's funny. But I went on Chat GPT and asked Chat to help me create her this or that Valentine's Day. And Chat GPT said, let's call it Choose Your Adventure. Chat GPT is really that girl. And I know that she's a girl. She's not a boy. It said, now it's time for your first choice. Are we stepping out or staying in? Choose your adventure. The first two boxes was a golf shirt and a box of golf balls and a tea with a tea time printed out for three o'clock that day to go golfing. Or you open the other box, it was like an at-home paint, like paint activity.

SPEAKER_05 45:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

Then the next set, because there's three sets of choose your adventures, it says, do we create something special together or let someone else set the table while we simply enjoy each other? Your move. And so one was the a card of the dinner reservation at Christopher's, and the other was a dinner dice where you roll it.

SPEAKER_05 45:46

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

And we would make that dinner together. So that's part two.

SPEAKER_05 45:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

Then part three was you made it to the final envelope, which means one thing. No more sharing you with the world. Tonight you're only mine. Now, tell me what you'd rather unwrap. Shoes carefully. So I had two boxes. Yeah. One had like new lingerie in it, and one had the panty and bra set with his name and rhinestones on it.

SPEAKER_05 46:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:16

He opens the matching panty and bra with his name and rhinestones. Girl, I go to put it on. He's like, you don't gotta put that on, just come here. They don't care. They don't care. Bro, the time and effort and money I spent for this mother to tell me you don't gotta put that on. Just come here. But I did it. It's special. So when I think about it, I don't even know if the matching panty and bra that we put so much thought into it's us. Even matters to it.

SPEAKER_05 46:45

They don't care. I know it. They don't. They don't care at all. They would rather you be in like their t-shirt with nothing on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

Like, you know what I mean? But also when you walk around the house in t-shirt and shorts all day long, they want to complain and be like, Yeah, oh, you don't get sexy for me. You don't even want me to get sexy. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_05 47:04

They really just want you naked. That's it. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 47:07

If that if you could have the option just walk around the house naked all the time, they would be fine with that.

SPEAKER_05 47:12

They would love that. I would hate that. I'm never doing that, actually. I don't like to sleep naked. The only time I sleep. So let me reverse this. I actually do like to sleep naked. Yeah. I only like to sleep naked when I'm alone in a hotel room by myself. I never wear pajamas. I will be walking around a hotel room naked, but I don't even want to rock around my house naked. It's only when I'm in a hotel by myself do I feel like I want to be naked. So what are you sleeping in your house here? Like I have like pajamas, like like I like my little skim sets. So like I'll wear like a little boy short with just like a tank top or got it.

SPEAKER_04 47:56

Yeah. I like to sleep naked. For me, it's problematic because if there was an emergency, yeah, I would be like I'm naked. Like I am. Um but if I'm at someone's house or my mom's house or like whatever, I sleep in like a pajama. Yeah. But in a hotel, yeah, I also sleep naked. I sleep, I'm a naked sleeper. I'm not. I'm not. So with a partner, do you sleep naked?

SPEAKER_05 48:20

With a partner, it ranges. I try and like keep it cutesy still, but like I'll put I'll have a boy shirt, or I like to wear like little slips, like a nightgown type thing. Whatever. Yeah. I all air it out. Like it'll be easy access, but it's not naked.

SPEAKER_04 48:36

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So then now let's say you get you get in bed in the nighty, and then something happens. Do you put the nighty back on to go? For sure.

SPEAKER_05 48:45

You do? Yeah, I go do my thing, the things we need to do after. Yeah. And then I put it back on and get back in the bed.

unknown 48:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 48:54

I know. I don't know why. I don't know what it is. The only time I ever sleep naked is in a hotel room by myself. And it's one of my great joys of life. You should try it a little bit more. I know.

SPEAKER_04 49:07

I know, but here it's like your girls come in your room, they knock on the door.

SPEAKER_05 49:10

Like I get it, I mean, we're all girls, I guess, but yeah. I could try it. Yeah. I've been asked about it. Yeah. Like you should. And I'll be like, should I?

SPEAKER_04 49:21

Yeah, just sleep naked.

SPEAKER_05 49:22

Yeah. But it's like if I just have a little thing, you just have to flip it up. Basically, I'm naked.

SPEAKER_04 49:27

Yeah, but it's like when you have a baby and it's like skin on skin.

SPEAKER_05 49:30

Oh, yeah. So does your partner sleep naked as well? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I've never had a partner that slept naked. I've only had partners who slept naked. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, maybe that's why. We're just attracting what we are. Hmm. Hmm. That makes more sense. If you guys are bold, like that's just how you guys sleep.

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Yeah. So here's what's interesting. So now you're easy access in a slip, but he has on boxers with an elastic band. And so now you have to struggle to get it.

SPEAKER_05 49:57

Yeah, it's so annoying. Yeah. Just be naked. Yeah. But like also, don't ask me to be naked if you're not gonna be, actually. Yeah. Yeah. So that's fair. So now you can respond to it. We can be naked together or we can have on clothes together. Got it.

SPEAKER_04 50:12

It's TV time.

SPEAKER_01 50:21

I am someone that watches a lot of reality TV. I consume a lot of it. And whenever I tell people that I love reality TV, their first thing is always, you know, it's not real, right? You're so boring. Like you're literally so boring. You think I'm watching that as like a nonfiction documentary? Like, I'm obviously watching for an escape. Okay. I have enough real life in my life. I don't hit the TV to see my Salt Lake City girls like in their real life. That's one. Two, do you know how insane some of these people are? I feel like I have a PhD in psychology, sociology, anthropology. No disrespect if you actually have your degree in that. Like, I clearly you beat me. But I just feel like there's so much to psychoanalyze. There's so much to inspect to get in the minds of my Salt Lake City girlies. I'm like, oh, hold on. Like this is a research paper. I need my pen and like notebook. Love is blind, married at first sight, big brother. Like this takes some serious brain power. I don't know why it's just assumed that, like, if you watch reality TV, like you're dumb. Like, it's actually quite the opposite thing. I'm worried about you if all you're watching is sport. Like, lock in. Use your brain. Okay. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

We talk about this. It is actually like a social experiment that we're trying to understand. Yeah. It helps me out in the world. I'm like, oh, that girl is just like this person. And then you know how to handle them.

SPEAKER_05 51:41

Yeah. I agree. I think what also makes us smarter is the fact that we do use it as an escape because we've been using our brains all day long. Sometimes you just want to just watch mindless television. That doesn't make me stupid. That actually makes me smart. I've been using my brain all day.

SPEAKER_04 52:01

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_05 52:02

What about you that want to come home and think some more? You obviously didn't use your brain all day.

SPEAKER_04 52:08

You gotta turn it on in front of the TV. That's outrageous. And you're not even watching Jeopardy. No. We need a reality show catch up since we haven't done any reality TV in a long time. Well, have you watched the new Love is Blind? Um, no. Have you watched The New Love Is Blind? Yes. Is it worth it? Ohio doesn't sound interesting. We're gonna start there.

SPEAKER_05 52:31

No, Ohio's and like also Love is Blind is starting to confuse me because although they pay they peg it as these people live in the city, it starts to unravel sometimes that these people don't actually live in the city. Have you noticed that? No, I remember it specifically with the Seattle one. And I was like, well, she doesn't even live in like because I knew the names of the cities, right? So when she said, I was like, she doesn't even live anywhere near Seattle. Like I think she lived in like Oregon or somewhere. So did so did the guy that worked at Nike. Yes, exactly. That's a whole nother state. So what are we talking about? And then this, I guess they say Ohio, so it opens it up. But then the one guy gets caught up because he was living in Austin. And but then he said he lived in Cleveland, and then the girl caught him in the lie because he had told someone else in the um pods that he lived in Austin. And then they when they come and meet together, and then the girl's like, Well, you told me you lived in Austin. Come to find out that's where his ex-girlfriend lived, and he was really living with his ex-girlfriend, which is so what I will say is there are a few couples that were interesting, one of them being that guy, because he was reeking liar the entire time, and I loved it. And then a lot of the men this time were specific about their types. What I'm beginning to realize also as it goes on is that people are finding ways around to figure out their race, to figure out what their body type is, to figure out their income level, probably. Yes, yeah, they're figuring out the right questions, what they need to ask. Yep. Like, I mean, it's easy if you think about like particular races, although they may be stereotypes.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

Yeah, based on like your name. Yeah, like the one is gonna be.

SPEAKER_05 54:26

Yeah, the one guy's name was Devante. I mean, how many white guys you know named Devante? Like, let's he's obviously a black guy.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

Yeah, I know a couple white Dantes, not Devantes, but I do know a couple white Dantes, which is wild.

SPEAKER_05 54:38

And then also, all you like, even if you were a little bit confused about Devante, ask him, Oh, how do you spell it?

SPEAKER_03 54:44

Correct.

SPEAKER_05 54:45

Because the black people are always gonna spell different percent. Yeah, it's not gonna be the normal.

SPEAKER_04 54:50

Yeah, yeah. Here's the real question better or worse than last season, where nobody got married with the guy that I loved that you didn't like, the crazy he was the crazy guy, the one that you didn't like, and I loved him. Hang on, I got what was he, black or white? He was black, it was the black. Uh, his name was Edmund. Edmund.

SPEAKER_05 55:11

Is it better than last season with Edmund and where nobody was the sensitive guy that cried all the time? No, that one was awful.

SPEAKER_04 55:20

That one was good. It was the girl that caught him lying. It was the guy that blended up his protein in the blender, his chicken breasts in the blender. Oh, that was disgusting.

SPEAKER_05 55:29

The people last season were like weird. Yes. That was a weird season. What city were they in? They were in Texas. Denver. They were in Denver. Yes. I remember last season on Lebo's mind. I didn't like. This season I definitely liked more than last season. These people are more normal, quote unquote, probably a little bit better looking, quote unquote. There's one guy that's out of his mind, though, and it comes out later on. My favorite part is when they come back from their honeymoon. Yep. And that first meetup where they bring in everybody from the pods. Yes. Favorite part of Love is Blind. And this one does not disappoint. Because they get to see all the people they didn't choose and all of that. And people start getting messy. That's like where the girl finds out because the other girl tells her.

SPEAKER_04 56:18

He said he was from Austin.

SPEAKER_05 56:19

Yeah. And like right in front of it. And then he starts getting mad. And he was like, and then he gets mad at the girl who's telling his tea. And then it's just it's worth a watch. Does not disappoint. To me, it's on brand. It's not worse than past seasons.

SPEAKER_04 56:36

Okay. But last season, outside of Edmund, there was also the girl that chose the Asian guy. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Last season was amazing. Nobody got married. Nobody got married. And then there was a girl who got to know the guy's. The guy had a kid. And she got to know the kid and then told him no, and then didn't show up for the wedding. Said she didn't want to go to the wedding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:59

Denver was actually drama.

SPEAKER_04 57:02

Drama.

SPEAKER_05 57:02

I haven't watched the reunion yet. Okay. But I will say that there is enough drama to create a solid reunion. That's what I will tell you. There was one guy that straight up just told the girl like he's not attracted to her. And I think they already had sex and stuff. No. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? No. And then he goes to the meetup and then tries to get with another girl that's that is in a relationship, but they dated slightly. And like you're he you're more my type. Like it was just all about like his type. He got wasted. The guy wanted to like beat him up. It was it was good. I'm telling you, the reunion I think is gonna be good.

SPEAKER_04 57:44

I thought maybe that I was falling off of Love is Blind because I tried to start the first episode of Ohio and I was like, oh, this is very vanilla, but I didn't even get through the first episode. So I can go back.

SPEAKER_05 57:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:55

I'll give Ohio a chance.

SPEAKER_05 57:56

Just give it a chance. I mean, it's still Love is Blind. To me, it's still iconic.

SPEAKER_04 58:01

If your favorite part is when they do the meetup after the honeymoon, my favorite part is when they go get to see how the other person lives. Oh. When they go to their apartment or house for the first time.

SPEAKER_05 58:12

It's uncomfortable because sometimes the way those people live, I might fast forward because it's just like, oh my god, look at your sheet.

SPEAKER_04 58:19

Like, you know what I mean? But I also think that people have the ability to misrepresent themselves in the pot.

SPEAKER_05 58:26

One thousand percent.

SPEAKER_04 58:26

And I go back to like one of the first episodes. I can't remember if it's Jessica who it is, but the guy had roommates and all this, and she owned her house. Yeah. She was like, Oh, I don't know if I can do this because he was younger, remember?

SPEAKER_05 58:37

Yeah, and remember the one guy that lived in the basement of his parents' house?

SPEAKER_04 58:41

Yes. That was uncomfortable. So I like that. So you like you like the first meetup, and I like to bring them home and see what's really happening. And I do like the drama on the honeymoon. There's always drama on the honeymoon.

SPEAKER_05 58:53

Yeah, that's true. Like if they're gonna have sex or not.

SPEAKER_04 58:56

Yeah. T. Asking each other, who did you have sex? Did you have sex?

SPEAKER_05 58:58

I know sex? It's like we're like in like high school.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Yeah, for sure. For sure. Okay, so I haven't watched Love is Why in Ohio, but I will. But what I have watched was the latest Love Island All-Stars.

SPEAKER_05 59:12

See, I just don't get into that. You've told me to watch it before, and I still haven't.

SPEAKER_04 59:17

So the one that I told you about was a different all-stars. I watched the UK All-Stars.

SPEAKER_05 59:22

Oh. UK is always better. Yes. Who's on it?

SPEAKER_04 59:26

Helena. Hideaway Helena. Yeah. I don't know if you remember Sammy. Dark hair, very, very pretty.

SPEAKER_05 59:32

Yeah, I know Sammy.

SPEAKER_04 59:33

Sammy, Lucinda. Whitney. The black girl Whitney. She was the one with the lace fronts. They both wear lace fronts. Whitney, Leanne. This is my mom watched some of this, and she said, This is the most black people she's seen on Love Island in a long time.

SPEAKER_05 59:48

Really? Yeah. Is Ella ever gonna come back? I want to see Ella and Tyreek. Bad.

SPEAKER_04 59:53

Tyreek came back on the last one.

SPEAKER_05 59:55

Oh, well, I want to see him and Ella on the same one. No. I feel like they then mess up.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:01

Um, the young bull. He was friends with Tyreek.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:04

The soccer guy? Yes. But like not really soccer, but kind of soccer guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:08

There is Scott, the boxer. Scott gets with the black girl just go around and loves her down. Loves her down. So here's my question. Because these are like strong characters. And again, like I said before, like in Australia, the girls are fighting. In Love Island, UK All-Stars. It's the girls fighting, bro. It's full-on friendship fights. They don't give the men no drama, they give all the drama to the girls.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:36

Because All-Stars is just bringing back old people who have been on Love Island already. It's not about challenges or anything, nor okay. I don't even think they do one challenge. Okay. See, that's what in my head I thought it was like. No. Like, oh, we're gonna do challenges.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:52

That's what the USA one is. Yeah. The UK one is not that. It's straight data. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:57

It's straight. And it's good. Yeah. And UK Love Island is top tier to me. Like it's way better.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:04

It's good. And now they're all out of the villa and they're trying to maintain their couples for their like celeb status. Yeah. So I'm watching all of them. Like, I'm like, this is a countdown until they all break up. Like on Instagram. Yeah. And instead of Casa Amore, they have the American House, basically, where they bring in American all-stars. So there's six Americans in a house. Yeah. Three guys and three girls. The guys picked three girls to come over to the American house. Bye. And the girls picked three guys to come over to the American House. So it's like they either bring an American back or don't. Oh, this is really good. It was good. That's why I started. It's another binge. It's like 30-something episodes.

unknown 1:01:44

I love Love Island.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:45

So you can go, you can binge.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:47

Like if you had to choose Mary Kill, Love Island, Love is Blind, perfect match.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:55

Um Mary Kill. I would Mary Love Island UK.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:00

I would perfect match. And I would kill Love Island USA. Love Island USA is my least favorite. Yeah. Maybe the season with Huda and Ko was like the most interesting one in a while. From 2020.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:13

You liked the season with the girls that were here in LA. They made another show off of them. I could care less about that. The couple, um, Ode BJ's little brother was on it. Oh. Serena and then you liked that. But I think you liked that because your kids were like, then they made the show.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:27

No, I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:30

But I remember at the time you would like to talk about Serena. Yeah. It was like a household thing for you, but I think that's because your kids preferred that one.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:38

Because Love Island USA is slightly more kid friendly.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:43

Yes. It's more kid friendly. And it feels like the people are a little younger, too. Yeah. That's the other part about Love Island UK all-star.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:50

They're starting to get older.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:52

They're 28, 29, 30.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

There's like a couple.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:56

The young.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:56

The 21 and 22 year olds, they don't want nothing to do with them on the All-Stars.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:00

Uh-huh. So it's good. We're growing sexy over here.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:03

I think you would appreciate it.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:04

Okay. I'm not going to lie.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:05

Definitely. Check it out. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:10

What time is it? It's question time. What time is it? It's question time.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:14

Ooh. Ashley. Yeah. What is your preference on pubic hair on a man?

SPEAKER_05 1:03:22

So I'm not super specific. Okay. However, it has to be groomed. Like, preferably a low fade. Yeah. Like all the way bald. Yeah. It's kind of weird. Yeah. But also the less hair, the better. But a little hair is fine, but keep it very okay. But a fade is like. You need to fade that shit up into the pubic area. Pubic area. Keep it cutesy and then keep it low.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:54

Okay, so you would like to see as if it was groomed. Yes. Like you want to, okay, here we go. I do not want to look like I'm like it's a wild banshee down there. No, I know, but I'm saying, okay, so let's I'm gonna take it to a woman for a second, and then you tell me. So for instance, it would be like a landing strip. You can tell that it was intentionally cleaned like that. Yes. Or it could just be someone that is just like clean. You get what I mean? Do you want it to look intentionally groomed or just like, oh wow, you're clean there.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:22

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:24

This is very interesting. We've had this conversation before. I close my eyes. We've talked about this, right? I'm basing it off of feel. I can't say that I've ever been like, oh, look at what you've got going on down there. Because I'm telling you, when it comes time, I shut my eyes. My eyes are shut. You don't want to see anything. So it's about feel for me. So it's hard to say. So in my mind, when I'm thinking about it, I would just want it to look clean and well groomed. Okay. I think because if you do it all the way, like get rid of your pubic hair entirely, then it's like maybe like a stubble. Yeah. Which feels good. So I think just intentionally groomed. Intentionally groomed. I'm yeah, not just sprouting out everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:25

Okay. Mine has totally changed over the years. Okay. So I at one point I almost would have preferred the stubble. Because I just feel like it was clean and it doesn't hold any smell. Smell. And like I just didn't want any of that. I have grown to I would like it to be taken care of, but I don't want to know you spent time doing it. Yeah. I kind of just want to think that you're just naturally clean. Like I don't want it to look precise. Yeah. Like, okay, you spent way too much time. What are you doing? What are you doing? Like, why were you doing that? I don't even care if you like just. Took a scissor. Yeah, just trimmed it down. Trimmed it down. Yeah. So that it's like you're a man and you have hair, fine. But not like you like were in there, like, oh yeah. Oh yeah, leg up on the leg up.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:13

That's uncomfortable. You're right. You know what I mean? I can understand that. And that's why I think for me, like I would know when he did it because he would like trim it into the toilet. And then I'd be like, you couldn't flush your pubes. Like, what's wrong with you, bro?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:29

For sure. Or like on the sink in the sink area.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:32

These are pubes. Or like it'll be the sewad of it. Like, oh you ruined it. Now I know what you did.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:41

That's what I'm saying. I don't want to know you want to do that. I don't want to know you did it. Yeah. But what's also interesting is that my take on hair has changed. Like body hair has changed. Oh, yeah. I used to be the anti-chest hair kind of girl. Like, I wanted you to get rid of it. Yeah. And ironically, when I got with my partner, he didn't have it because he had just gotten tatted. Oh. Well, now it's all grown back. And I've realized I actually like it because it's actually soft. It's not like coarse, rough hair.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:17

It's like a soft chest hair is like I like. I never knew that about myself either. But now I've realized I actually like chest hair. It's actually quite nice. And then you can like lay there on it and just like rub it. Yeah. It's like petting like a soft little kitten. I had no idea. No, it's very relaxing for me. Sometimes I like just play with it. Yeah, it's fun. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:46

I've grown up. Yeah. In front of your very eyes. Yeah. Because I was the anti, like I like a hairless man. Yeah. And I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:56

Hairy. Cutesie.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:58

Yeah, not like overly hairy, but just like your natural sprouts.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:05

Anyways, your turn. Okay. This is funny. Okay. So if we were like famous, more famous than we already are. Yeah. Which one of us do you think would get canceled first?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:20

I think the obvious answer is that I would get canceled first. Why? Because I think that uh I'm like a little harsher and meaner, i.e. like talking about Mariah Scientist, and then she slides in our comments. True. Don't do that again. I think that's the obvious answer is that I would get canceled. Yeah. But I gotta be honest with you. Yeah you are a little freer at the tongue than I am. Like I'm a little bit more reserved in what I say. Like I know it could be mean, but I'm thinking about it when I say it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:47

No, I just say random shit. Yes. And then I'm like, oops, did I say that? Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:51

Crazy. So Ash, can you edit that out? That's wild. I do believe that without me behind the editing board, we would get canceled because of you.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:01

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:03

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:04

Sometimes there's been stuff, and I'm like, I said that.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:08

Yeah. Or sometimes I find myself trying to clean it up after you've said it. Like, you mean this, right? Right? Are you sure? For instance. Oh, what I know we were talking about the coronavirus.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:20

Yeah, I said something about China. Yeah. That's not nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:24

That's the type of shit I'm talking about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:26

Like, Ashley, please, can you just be a little bit more politically correct and in tune with what is going on in society? Yes. We would for sure end up canceled behind your ass. Because when you're super famous, they don't give you that opportunity to just kind of say dumb shit. If you're famous, you're hot held to a higher standard. Like I could say that, and people would be like, that bitch is dumb. Whatever. Right. But you know, like.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:49

But then when you have some responsibility, people look up.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:52

Oh yeah, no, wild. I couldn't be in trouble. I couldn't be there.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:55

Yeah, we would be in trouble.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:56

We would be in trouble.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:57

Well, I think I must might get us canceled at this level. She's like, oh, she's a f it's like a mean or yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:02

But at an upper level, it's me. Yeah. Because I'm the one that's gonna just say something so stupid. We're out of here. Uh uh. It's a package, don't act surprised. No, I think I have a messenger to fix Ashley.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:16

Yeah. You can battle one rapper. And if you win, you take all of their money. Who are you battling?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:25

Well, that's tough because the chances are I'm not gonna win. I'm not witty, I'm not quick, I have no freestyle skills. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:34

So then you gotta look at the money at the money component.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:37

Like, so just try and go for the bees.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:40

Well, right.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:41

Like, because what I got to lose. So I mean I can't go for Jay-Z because that's just like impossible. Um maybe like future. Because like it's not like he's like bars, right? He's like vibes, he's like vibes, yeah. I could possibly vibe, I could practice a lot of as toxic as he is, yeah. So toxic. So I could just be like saying crazy shit like he does.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:05

Future. I don't know how much money future has, but feels like he does good, right? He's international.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:12

He's got lots of investments in the world.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:13

Okay, T. Future.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:14

You don't see the money he'd be spending? Yeah, you gotta have an A B to be one of his girls. He don't put them in a Rolex.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:20

T, give me all that future. I want it.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:22

You want to go for future?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:23

I'm gonna go for future.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:24

You want to know something?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:25

What?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:26

I think you could take out Travis Scott.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:29

Ooh. Get that Kylie money.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:32

You get what I'm saying? Now you got a billionaire baby mama.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:35

Yeah, I like that. You think I could take out Travis Scott? I mean, think about it. I don't listen to his music that much, so I don't know. That's why I'm like, is he not? He's not super lyricist. He's just like, I'm jumping, I'm moving. Just jump and move with me. Don't listen to what I'm saying. All right, let's go with like fiend. Oh, fiend, fiend, fiend. I'm telling you, I think you could take him out. I can take out traffic. Just come outside for the night. Take your time. Yeah, it's not a lot of rhythm in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:06

Take your time. Here's the lyrics.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:13

I'm gonna be giving it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:22

Yeah, you're right. I think you could take Travis for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:26

Get into the verse, get into the verse.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:41

It's like always just one piece of mind. I've been focused on the future never right now. What I'm stepping, I can put you to become brown. Oh tea.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:55

I don't know. I don't know. Future is less. Future is saying much less. Less. Okay. So like bring up a future song. He's slower. Okay. And he's like, I really like, what is future actually saying? I think old future. Oh, you want to go back, back. He had this song, and he literally said the same thing the entire song, but it was like the 49ers theme song. So we had future come to our divisional playoff game. And he was like, the future was just what was it?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:34

Tony Montana.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:35

Tony Montana, that's what it was. And he just Tony, we would it would be in the thing. I could do that. Yeah. Think about it. What's he saying?

SPEAKER_21 1:13:49

Tony Montan. Chicken from my ear. Tony Montan.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:55

Teacher says a lot of the same thing over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_22 1:14:02

I can figure that out. You leave me no choice.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:18

Put your cantaloupe. No, I can figure that out. I'm lacing the floor a Porsche kick from here. Whatever. He's already talked about a Porsche. We've talked about it now three times.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:31

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:32

In the same verse. Alright. You could take future.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:34

I could take future, maybe. Travis Scott was some of that was a little bit, a little bit uh rhymey. I don't want to see Drake. I don't want to see Jay. I don't want to see Jay Cole. I don't want to see Kanye.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:46

I'm not gonna lie, I wanna see Travis. Okay. I think I could see Travis.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:49

You could def I think you could see a multitude of rappers. Because you can write. Like you gotta pen, like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 1:14:57

But you gotta think. It's like you win their money. Yeah. So you don't wanna see just anybody. Yeah, exactly. You gotta be careful. We could see Ja rule. Yeah, but sorry, Ja, I do like you. But you know what I mean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:09

Or uh yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So you gotta think about the bread mixed with the level of skill.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:16

Yeah. So you want Travis. I'm gonna take future because I don't even think I got Travis. I think I could get future though. I think so too. Okay, last question. Keeping it light, keeping it fun today. What's up? We're at a Mexican restaurant. My favorite. What am I ordering at a Mexican restaurant?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:35

Um, you give me like a fajita kind of girl.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:38

Oh tea. No. Actually, that's not a lie. You know what? But you give me like your fajita girl. That's interesting. I have been known to order a fajita. It's not my go-to, though. What would be your go-to? My go-to is probably I like an enchilada. Oh, I didn't know. I'm an enchilada. Like if I'm at a real like Mexican restaurant, I like an enchilada, like an enchilada plate with like the beans and rice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an enchilada girl. I love a good enchilada sauce.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:08

Red sauce or green sauce?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:09

Um, so what's interesting is that homemade enchiladas, green sauce. Okay. But typically when I'm at the restaurant, I they have good red sauces. That's so interesting. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:20

I get my enchiladas hold the sauce. Oh, yeah, you like them dry. I want the cheese and the tortilla and the meat that's on my other Mexican dishes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:29

But the enchiladas sauce is really what makes it enchilada. You can't fight with Joseph on these.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:35

Why? Because he's not Mexican. Don't you do this? Well, I'm trying to get us canceled again.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:39

No, this is it. What are you? Okay, so similar food. Enchiladas is part of. So, what is your guys' like main dishes? Tamales. Tamales. Okay. And what? Oh, papu says. Okay, sorry. Canceled.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:03

Cancelled. You just said that. I'm not a Mexican.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:06

I'm clueless. I'll never forget that. That's me. I'm literally Cher.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:10

Shout out to Clueless, though. Did you see how Alicia Silverstone went to the last Alaya show in Paris? I guess the designer's moving on. And so she went. Oh yeah. This is a liar. Cue the clueless lip. Get down on the ground.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:25

Face down.

SPEAKER_17 1:17:26

Come on. Oh no. You don't understand. This is an alaya.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:31

An awta?

SPEAKER_17 1:17:32

It's like a totally important designer.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:35

And I will totally shoot you in the head.

SPEAKER_17 1:17:38

Get out.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:41

Anyways, I think I'm gonna go watch that. Yeah. I want to watch that today because you know we're saying the Beverly Wilshire. Oh, yeah. I watched Pretty Woman.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:49

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:51

So she revisited it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:54

So to those stairs that she walks down when she's like, I'm totally crazy in love with Josh. But now I don't know how to act around him. Normally I would strut around in my those stairs are right outside your hotel.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:09

Yeah, so I'm gonna watch Clueless. Okay. I love that.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:11

I love that.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:12

All right, girl. Well, until next week. Bye. Adios.