He Wants Therapy… Alone???

They’re backkk!! Ashley + Ashley are back in the studio this week discussing sober living, surgery tables, and men who really should’ve stayed quiet.

02:20 – Weekly Catch Up: IVF
Wait… eggs in the freezer? And it’s more than a dozen?! It’s been a long time coming, but Ashley W has officially taken the next steps toward becoming a mother. Whether motherhood is in her future or not, the peace of mind? Priceless. She breaks down the full process, the costs, and what no one tells you about it.

18:25 – Weekly Catch Up: Colonoscopy
Ashley W isn’t the only one laying on a doctor’s table… Ashley N was too—just a different entry point. 😭 Ash N went in for a checkup and left with a colonoscopy appointment. Doctors have officially lowered the age, so consider this your sign to book those appointments, ladies.

26:41 – Things I Saw On The Internet!
There’s a pink iPad on TikTok that has the girlies in a chokehold. The Ashleys didn’t realize they were late to the party but who cares?! They’ve arrived and they love it here. From trolling men to chaotic storytimes, @shondarhimesstanaccount might just be their newest obsession.

35:25 – It’s TV Time!
The resident TV guru is back on her throne with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 recommendations this week. From Paradise to Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette, hope your streaming subscriptions are up to date becauseyour watchlist is about to be booked and busy.

39:45 – @dearyoungqueen Meme of the Week
How do you call someone’s therapist and tell them what’s really going on? 👀 Easy… join the session. Or better yet… stop them from going altogether? Ashley N weighs in, with personal experience hiring (and firing) therapists depending on the season.

51:26 – It’s Question Time!
Who complains the most? Who’s lowkey repetitive? Who’s the ultimate problem solver? And can anyone actually get through to Ashley?! The girls unpack it all.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Ask Ashley. Yeah, that's me. And me. Oh, best friend. We killin'. No, no, friends.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Oh, we're gonna cheers. Let's cheers. T from across the couch. Okay. Cheers. Ash. I am breaking my sober living life with you. I'm gonna pull up my sober tracker.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Is it an app?

SPEAKER_05 0:37

There's an app for that.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

I mean it's for alcoholics. Oh, T. Does it give you like motivation each day?

SPEAKER_05 0:42

Sometimes it'll send you like a little quote to keep going or might tell you to journal things are hard or whatever. But I just did it to see, like, I was curious how many days I could go. Two months, eight days, four hours, and thirteen minutes.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Oh, why are you doing that? You're on such a good road. This is a stupid glass of wine. You don't want it. Did you drink it yet? I didn't take a city. You have a glass of water next to you, too. I don't want to be that.

SPEAKER_05 1:08

That's two months is two months, eight days, four hours, and thirteen minutes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

You're not doing that with me.

SPEAKER_05 1:14

Uh-uh. Put it down. Ashley, you're the only person I wanted to break it with. Oh, that's right. And I was gonna just do it today and then go back.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Uh uh. I don't know how I feel. I don't necessarily feel I think that is very nice, but I want to in turn be a really good friend to you and say, do you really want to?

SPEAKER_05 1:36

Like I feel like I've been waiting for the podcast because the last time I wasn't drinking, you're like boo, boring, tomato, tomato, tomatoes. But now I'm just like stone sober Sally, and I feel like I don't know if it's even gonna hit the same.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Like, I mean, you feel all right to me. I really didn't even know. So I would prefer you not.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

Okay, I'm just gonna put it right here.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

I mean, does it bother you that I'm not?

SPEAKER_05 1:57

No. Okay, it doesn't matter. It's just like it's wild, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Because I thought you were gonna say like two weeks, two months is insane. Crazy.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

Yeah, no, I don't feel like crazy being the friend that I like looked up and it was 30 days and I was like, shit, I'm gonna just keep it going.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

You know what I mean? Do we want to talk about what led to this journey of soberness? Yes, we can. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:20

So I finally, finally, finally bit the bullet and froze my eggs.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:25

It was something that I wanted to do for years. Yeah. I originally went one time and got tested, and they were like, your levels are fine, you have more years, you can wait. And then I started the process last year and then had to move, and so it didn't happen. And then somebody told me that after you reach a certain age, the price like doubles or something.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

That's mean. I know. It should not double, it should go down because essentially, like, you're gonna have less eggs, everything is going down, so should the price. Yeah. And by the way, it ended up not being true. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's good. Once I got it, that would actually be really an unkind thing to do to anyone.

SPEAKER_05 3:01

So when it came to freezing my eggs, I just wanted my body to kind of be in the most healthy state possible before I started the injections.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

How long did you stop before you started the process?

SPEAKER_05 3:14

Um, probably like three weeks. So three weeks and then you started the process. But I'm gonna tell you that your eggs are actually busy being made way before that.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

So it was basically pointless.

SPEAKER_05 3:27

100%. I like took care of the eggs that are like coming six months from now. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Pregnant, the thing about it is it's like, oh, don't drink when you're pregnant. Well, my god brother is OBGYN, yeah, and he was like, literally, the time when you don't know you're pregnant yet is essentially the most important time, and that's when you're like still drinking because you don't even know. Like, I mean, really, into your first trimester is important for not drinking, but like that beginning phase is very important, and that's when you're still doing it.

SPEAKER_05 3:59

Yeah, so I was like, oh, well, whatever. Um, yeah, we'll see. I'm on the app now. I'm gonna keep going.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Like, no, that's good. Um, how is the process?

SPEAKER_05 4:09

So, where to start? Yeah. So initially, you go in to your doctor, you do some basic testing, some blood work, some AMH testing, and genetic testing. Everything's kind of like tied to your period and your cycle, which by the way, through all of this, I learned that that health class you take in sixth grade or whatever, where you like learn about the reproductive cycle, yeah, they don't tell you shit.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:32

Like no parent needs to fight their kids learning it because really you don't learn anything. Yeah. I'm grown as hell and didn't understand how my eggs worked and all this shit. So basically, after you're all cleared with your blood work and they, you know, they think they'll be able to retrieve some eggs, they have you come in on like day three or four of your period. So on day three, go into the office and they teach you how to do your injectables, very similar to like kind of now what people are doing, peptides, but different size needles and things like that.

SPEAKER_04 5:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:04

What I learned is people's injections are different based on their bodies are. So for me, I had two injections to start. I had a friend who had three injections the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Oh, interesting. And so you have to do it in your stomach. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

Yep. You grab like a little piece of fat on your stomach and you just like stick it in. So I took two injections for my first six days. But you go into the doctor every other day once you start your injection. So they'll do blood work. Yeah. And they also do a vaginal ultrasound to see what your follicles are looking like. Your follicles are what produce your eggs. Each follicle produces one, sometimes two eggs. So as they see your follicles growing every other day, they decide whether or not to introduce a new injection or take an injection away. Because ultimately your follicles grow at different rates at different times, and they kind of want them all to grow at this like to a certain um diameter. And so for me, my body responded really well to the injections. Like my follicles grew really pretty fast. Yeah. So by day six, he was introducing a third medicine to slow down some of the follicles so that the immature ones could catch up. Correct, could be up to size. And so they're going in every other day and they're doing an ultrasound and they're like, okay, we have six follicles. Okay, we have eight follicles. Like, you know, they're just giving you an update on all the things that are happening with your follicles. And then once they feel like your follicles are to a size, in general, I believe it's like around 17 millimeters or whatever, however they measure, it's the number 17. Yeah. My doctor wanted them to go to 20. Oh. So by the time they feel like, okay, most of your follicles are between 17 and 20, they say we are gonna introduce the trigger shot. And that's so a trigger shot is taken approximately 36-ish hours before your egg retrieval.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 6:58

So let's say on day nine, they were like, okay, you're good. We're gonna you're gonna take your trigger shot at 9 45 p.m. on Sunday. Right. Your retrieval will be scheduled for 9 45 a.m. Tuesday.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

So then you do a trigger shot, which is again very different. I had a homegirl who was doing it right before me. Her trigger shot was in her ass.

SPEAKER_04 7:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:20

My trigger shot was in my stomach like the others. So started with two injections a day. Then by day six, I'm on three injections a day. And then by the trigger shot, it's the fourth injection. But it's just a one time.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

The trigger injection basically tells your body to drop the eggs.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:40

Because these follicles are big and ready. Yeah. So it says, hey, drop these eggs. You go into the doctor's office and you know, they go in, they take your vitals, you're getting ready to have a surgery. So I mean a like a same-day surgery, outpatient. Yeah. So like nothing crazy.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Do you go under anesthesia?

SPEAKER_05 7:56

You do.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Like the twilight kind or like the real deal?

SPEAKER_05 7:59

No, the real deal. The real deal. Yeah, you wake up like, oh, done? Shit-chatting before you fall asleep. Next thing you're out. Like you don't even remember falling asleep.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

It's an amazing feeling. Man. Top tier. Like, I wish I could do that every. Like, I literally wish I could do that every time. Feel you. Feel you. I just need an in-home anesthesiologist. If I get rich, just know that. No, just kidding. Sounds like you could get addicted. Yeah. I think that isn't that how Michael Jackson died or something.

SPEAKER_05 8:28

There's so many theories. So many theories. Anyway, so um do the trigger shot. Yeah. Go into the office, and they you walk in, they take your vitals, they do all the things, they put you under anesthesia, they roll you into a room, they give you the anesthesia in the room. They strap you up to a little device that has your legs, all strapped in. So essentially, they go in with like what is an ultrasound, like a vaginal ultrasound machine that has like a vacuum.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Oh, they suck them out. And they suck them out. So it's like immediately like it sucks out of your body straight into this tank that freezes it.

SPEAKER_05 9:02

I'm not sure if it if it's like that's where they stay. Oh. But they get sucked out of you into this thing and they determine how many are mature. Yeah. How many are not totally mature, but given some like little injections or whatever can mature up. And then the ones that are immature are like you have to sign off on just throwing your eggs out. Yeah. Which is a little weird. Yeah. Well, that gets weird. Yeah, yeah. Um, and so then when you wake up from your anesthesia, the doctor comes in and is like, hey, we have retrieved, and they tell you how many eggs they've retrieved. Now, before I went in, the girl next to me had just come out, and the doctor was like, Hey, we retrieved four eggs, which is like not a lot at all. So I was a little panicked. I had 21 follicles. Right. Okay. And I know because every you're going in every damn day. They go, We hope to retrieve seven to nine eggs. And I'm like, What the f? Yeah. I had 21 follicles. How are you only looking for seven to nine? But I heard her say four four to the person over next to me. I'll take that. Whatever. Yeah. But because God is really, really, really, really, really good, they retrieve double what the doctor thought. And I don't think that's by coincidence. I think that I spent a lot of praying on it. Like I told God to do his big one.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:18

I was like, God, please make it so that the doctor says, Wow, I've never seen this. Like, that's what my prayers were. They were big, yeah, big prayers on it. And so, yeah, so I got like about double the eggs that they expected, which was awesome. And I only had two immature eggs that they tossed out.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:35

So I was not worried about them. Yeah. It's like, good luck. Oh, never. You say go flush down the toilet. Yeah. Yeah. And uh then, you know, they let you lay there for a little bit and they're like, okay, go home. See you in there. Don't move for a few days.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Are you like bleeding and stuff after? Yep.

SPEAKER_05 10:56

So you have like a discharge. It's kind of like giving birth. I mean, like. I wouldn't say bleeding. You have a discharge.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 11:04

Yeah. For however long your body needs to push it out. Discharge is a weird thing, I think. Discharge is weird.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

People don't talk about it enough, but also, do we have to talk about it at all?

SPEAKER_05 11:18

It's not, you know. It's just kind of like that.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

I had to have that conversation with Charlie. And it didn't have to do with her. It was like there was an issue with someone else. And I was like, okay, well, do you understand if there's an odor attached that typically that means there's an infection? If that's your friend, you may want to suggest that she see a doctor because that smell is not normal. I had to explain like normal discharge looks like this. Not normal discharge. This is a yeast infection. I like had to break it all down. But it's like important things you gotta you want your daughter to know so she's not the freaking stinky girl at school.

SPEAKER_05 11:59

But also the reasons why I think about like if I really want kids, because like awkward conversation.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

But then she took it and then proceeded to tell all her friends who did it. Oh yeah. But she didn't tell the girl. Someone else needed to tell the girl.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

So now the girls they're rocking around calling her yeast infection girl instead of helping them.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Oh no, what was wrong with her was bacterial. Oh, for sure. Got it. So I uh diagnosed her from afar and told Charlie maybe you should tell her, like, hey, um, my mom told me if because if the smell that maybe you need to go see the doctor. But you know, Charlie, she's like, nah, not my problem. I it's not happening over here, so we cool. Conversations I swear to God, I don't know that I'm prepared to have. I'm just grateful that my daughter's on the side of it that she's just smelling it and not the one. Yeah. Cause I mean, let's talk about it. There's a few different reasons why that happens, and uh, those are longer conversations that you need to have. I'm just telling you what the discharge means, and we can leave it at that.

SPEAKER_05 13:02

Uh I seriously, like I literally have chills thinking about having to have this conversation. You know that Charlie is actually still blocked from my Instagram story? Is she? Yeah, she's been blocked for years. I don't even need her to see my real life, let alone talk to her about discharge. I know. I will I can't I know. I can't you have to do it, which is why I need to have a boy.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Yeah, please.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

I I can't I can't have those conversations, I can't even like the period stuff.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

Yeah, no, it was it's not nice. The good thing is, is that the way that the girls are informed now, like the period conversation, I didn't really have to have too much. The only thing that I the and the doctor really told her, like, hey, like, just so you know, certain signs are showing she's get getting closer. And the last sign that you should be looking for, discharge. That's what happens right before. So that you think it's like, oh, like hair or their boobs. No, those can come like a year before, but what you have to look for before your daughter starts her period is like discharge in her underwear, because that's like the precursor to that's wild.

SPEAKER_05 14:14

I'll be picking my gender. Yeah, that's exciting. I actually like that. Maybe I think so. Depends on how it goes. Um, so yeah, so then they send you home and you recover for a few days. Yeah, you know, you have the discharge. That's how we got there. Yeah. You have discharge, and then they just in a year they call you about storage fees.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Oh, so that's free for a year. Like the year is included in the cost of all that.

SPEAKER_05 14:42

Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. And uh then you just have this wild sense of relief.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:49

Like for me, I did not know that freezing my eggs, whether I use them or not, like I still don't even know if I really want kids.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

It feels takes it some pressure.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

It took off the pressure of feeling like if I didn't do it, yeah, that later I would like maybe could regret it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And so I have been telling people who have been like, oh, I've been thinking about it or on the fence. I've been saying if you have the financial means or you have the insurance that covers it, I suggest that you absolutely do it. Not because you absolutely need kids, but because of the peace of mind that it gave me as you continue to age and not have kids.

SPEAKER_04 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:27

I just don't have to wonder anymore. Right. Like if I want to have kids, I can have kids. Well, kind of. Yeah. Because here's where it gets tricky. When you freeze your eggs, and again, these numbers change a little bit based on your age. So everybody do your own research, right? But there is like somewhere between a five and ten percent chance of that egg actually making a baby. Right. Which is very low. But they want you to typically have like 15 to 30 eggs to get so it's like To get one baby. Correct. Okay. To be sure. Yeah. That's a little discouraging. Correct. Super discouraging when you come out and you're like, oh my god, I got double the eggs they thought.

SPEAKER_03 16:11

And then you're like a poor lady that only got four.

SPEAKER_05 16:14

Right. Now when you do embryos, the chance per egg goes up, but they're still like none of this is like a hundred percent you could have a kid. Yeah. It's still just increasing your chances from having none. To possibility. Possibly. So I stopped drinking so that I could freeze my eggs, and I just kept it up. That's good. I got a bunch of eggs in the bank now. Maybe I'll use them. Yeah, maybe I'll use them, maybe I won't. But now it's done.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

And my advice to everyone, again, with the means, yeah, or the insurance, because it's because a lot of insurances, um, well, let me not say a lot, but you hear that more insurances specifically they do cover at least one round. That's what I've heard. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

There are a lot of companies that IVF treatment is covered under insurance.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:00

There are some companies who are choosing separate IVF insurance. So, like, like I think Carrot is one of those. Oh, that's interesting. And then, you know, you can payment plan it out. Yeah. There were several payment plan options to get this done.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

Um, but it's expensive. Yeah. It's not a joke. I spent five thousand dollars on the medication and the procedure is like five thousand dollars. The genetic testing was a couple thousand dollars. But the blood work every few days costs money. So, like it's a it's a process.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

It's a pretty good thing. When you go to actually do the in vitro, that's that gets pricey. Because I've heard people spending upwards of like sixty grand on the process, depending on how many times you have to.

SPEAKER_05 17:49

Yeah, I mean, I spent 15 to get it done. Yeah. And that was my insurance didn't participate at all. Even though every time I walked in that office, oh, welcome back, Ashley. You still have Blue Cross Blue Shield. It's like, yeah, they don't.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

I hate that. Shut up.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

You know, you already know.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

You know, you know what time it is.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

Stop pissing me off, getting me mad at my insurance. Well, you could send it in. They may, like, no, they don't. They're not going to. This is a no. Stop pissing me off. Um, but yeah, so sober life, sober living, and uh, that's what's going on in my life. What's up with you? How's your week been?

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Um, so similar to you, I had a procedure as well. What did you have? Not that kind of procedure. It was actually the other hole. Um I am I am of the age where people would suggest getting a colonoscopy. I also have colon cancer that runs in my family. So then they want to test for it earlier. And so when I went to my annual, it was part of like, oh, you need a mammogram and you should get a colonoscopy. Mind you, just so you know, they've moved the age down. Okay, it used to be 50. It's not 50 anymore. They have moved it down considerably, people. Okay. Let me preface it by saying that. But yeah, I had a colonoscopy. So when you were talking about going into the room, we were experiencing the same thing, just very, just different.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Okay, so you have to tell me because I really want to get a colonoscopy.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

You should. I went to this guy, he's really great. He's a specialist here in LA, a older black gentleman. He's like great. I loved him. It's like it's pretty invasive. Yeah. The things that happen. Yeah. So I went to see him, and then we kind of talked about it, and he was like, Yeah, I'd like to schedule you for a colonoscopy. I'm like, okay. So about three weeks later. The worst part of a colonoscopy is the prep. So the day before, you have to completely you can't eat only clear liquids. Okay. And you have to take stuff like uh laxative, like uh milk of magnesia, and then also stool softener, because essentially you have to completely flush your system.

SPEAKER_05 20:13

Before the colonoscopy.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Before it, because they need to, they need a clear path in there. They want it to be as clear as possible.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

Wait, so then am I mixing up the thing? I thought the colonoscopy is what will pull all the stuff out of it.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

Oh no, you're just talking about a um where they flush you, like the water. What's that called? I did that after I had Chase. Yeah, what's that called? It's um, I I can't it's it's not it doesn't have the word colon in it, though. It doesn't?

SPEAKER_04 20:43

No.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

Okay. Well, that's what I want. I don't want a colonoscopy. Well, someday you're gonna have to have one.

unknown 20:51

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

Yeah. Oh no. So no, that, but to be fair, yeah, that is worse. The one where they flush you with the water, that's painful because and you're awake for the whole thing. Yeah, you're awake, and you can like see your poop coming out. It's disgusting. I've done that. I've done that. This one is like basically they're checking out your colon to make sure you don't have like polyps or cancer or anything. And so they go inside you with like basically a camera and they go all the way up into your colon. I don't want to call it. So they need your colon to be as clear as possible so that they can see and get to what they need to get to if they need to get to something. Yeah, it was awful. So it was awful. Are you awake? No, that's what I was saying. Similar to you, you get the anesthesia, the good stuff. I remember I was talking to the anesthesiologist, they wheeled me into that cold ass room. I was like, they're like, it's gonna be a little bit cold, but you won't even know in a second. And I remember talking to the anesthesiologist. She was like, You have kids? I was like, Yeah, I have two girls. And she was like, Oh, I have two. Boys, and I was like, I wanted two boys, and that's all I remember. And I was done. Who picked you up and took you home? Khadijah. You know what's interesting about those moments is that I never felt more like it's interesting when you have something like that and like you don't have a partner. And so it's like I felt it felt kind of like lonely that I had to like be like, they're like, you have to have someone, like it can't be an Uber or and I was like, well, huh? Okay. Hi, Khadija. Yeah. Yeah. You need someone. Yeah. But at least I have good friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:37

But did she say that you said anything like funny or loopy out of your anesthesia? I mean anesthesia.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

I sat in there for a little bit and the nurse was like super nice. We were just talking, and then I walked to the car. Like Khadija didn't even have to come in and get me. Got it. So really, I thought it was called Twilight, but I think I was really out. I think I just didn't, because it's a shorter procedure, they I didn't have to have a lot of anesthesia. Right. But what I think I realized is my throat hurt after I think I didn't. A breathing tube. Yeah. No one said anything about that. That whole night, my throat hurt so bad. And I was talking with someone and they were like, Well, you got anesthesia. You probably had a breathing tube. It felt like something had scraped my throat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

It's possible.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 23:24

I do feel like they should let you know that, but I also feel like maybe they don't.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

I think maybe they don't, because that would that's scary. I would like if they're like, we're gonna stick a tube down your throat, I'd be like, No, I quit. I don't want to do this. I was fine with whatever going in my butt. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so yours was more special. Mine was a little bit more pre- Well, what are the results, bitch? Oh, everything was fine. Okay. And that was the other thing. I don't know. I felt like some sort of like weird shame about it. I just felt like I didn't want to like tell people what I was doing. And then I was like, oh, but people do this all like you have to do it. It's like getting a mammogram or like whatever. There's certain things as you get older that are just preventative to like make sure everything's cool.

SPEAKER_05 24:08

It don't men have to do oh no, prostate. They have to do the prostate, which is different.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

Everyone has to do the colon. It's just it's more associated with age. But I literally heard the nurse talking to the lady next to me, and she because a lot of the people in there were older. Like I was definitely the youngest person there. The youngest, you didn't have a partner.

SPEAKER_05 24:30

It was very actually emotionally taxing.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

It was not nice, like seeing all these old people, and then I'm like walking in there, like, yeah, it was it was not nice. But the nurse next to me was talking to the lady who was older, yeah, and she was like, said something, and the nurse was like, Yeah, I I'm um I'm scheduled to actually get mine done in like a week or two. And the lady was like, Oh, you're not old enough. And she was like, They actually lowered the age of it recently because it used to be like you have to do it after 50, and now it's like 38 or something. Got it.

SPEAKER_05 25:03

We have to figure out what that procedure is where they flush you.

SPEAKER_04 25:08

What?

SPEAKER_05 25:08

Colonic.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Colonic. That's what it is. That's where they flush you.

SPEAKER_05 25:12

And that have you never done that? I've never done it, and I want to. I think my lower stomach will flatten out if I get the colonic.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

It probably will, but I'm telling you that you will hate it. I know. The pain. It's like cramping and all of that. Like you're gonna hate it because you don't like pain. And that tube is going in your asshole, and you're feeling it. That's what I'm saying. They'll lube it up, but that thing's going up your ass.

SPEAKER_05 25:38

Oh no, I can't.

SPEAKER_03 25:39

That's what I'm saying. I can't. Yeah. No, and it's a tube because the shit comes out of it too. So they flush it and then shit comes out, and then they flush it again. And I remember the lady being like, tell me when it becomes too much. Like they want to push it, and like you can kind of be the judge of like how bad it hurts, and you're like, okay, that's enough.

SPEAKER_05 25:59

Okay, never mind.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

And then I mean, you would you would be like, I'm done. You wouldn't like it. I promise. Unless they could give me the answer. Yeah, that's why I was like, the the colonoscopy was actually and I did get cleared out. I could give you the recipe if you just want to clear yourself out. Yeah, it was very simple. Yeah. Um, get you some milk of magnesia and some mirrors and make it a cocktail and just drink clear liquids.

SPEAKER_05 26:24

Yeah, I feel like so.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

Um we were both in the in the surgery table. Yeah, I see. In the cold, just for different different reasons.

SPEAKER_05 26:41

You got mail. Um I don't know if you remember this clip. Baby, I love me a good story time.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

I said, Perhaps no. Isn't that your wife and your profile? He said, We're in the process of being separated. So I said, Does she know that? He said, Of course. Everything that I'm telling you is the honest to God truth. I said, Bet. So I screenshotted the conversation and I sent it to his wife. She responded and she said, We are absolutely not in the process of getting uh separated. I think she meant getting separated. We still actively live together and have had no discussions of any pending separations. So then I screenshotted that and I sent it to him. And he said, Ask her why she brought up the possibility of getting a divorce last week. Then she seems to have a short recollection. I'm getting uncomfortable. I thought this was just gonna be a quick little banter that could be like, uh, I got you, told your wife, and I'm putting me into your marriage problems, your matrimony issues, your relationship incidents. I don't think I should be, I should be a part of that, but now I'm sort of like in it, you know? So what do I do next? I screenshot that. I sent it to her and I said, rebuttal, question. She said, I would prefer to have this conversation with my husband directly without the presence of prying eyes that you don't mind. All I did was hark the message because, first of all, Boo, your husband put me into this little conversation, and now you're telling me I'm prying eyes. You told me to send it. Hey, I I don't appreciate being bothered like this. I have a lot going on.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Obviously.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

You know what I'm saying? Clearly, I have a lot going on. Am I in the wrong? Because I just feel like I tried to tell you your husband was cheating on me. I told me I'm prying eyes, I need to mind my business. I just heard the message because I said, you know what, boo, you're right. This is I got a lot going on right now. I should not be worried, but this is none of my business. I need to stay out of the room focused because that's my problem. That is A1.

SPEAKER_05 28:35

Amazing. I was like, wow, she needs to tell me more stories. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Does she have more?

SPEAKER_05 28:40

I don't know. I didn't never well, she does have more. More? Ashley. She is what she's arguably the best person on TikTok. I am gonna show you another one.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Wait, are they hold on? First, I need to know are they all catching cheating husbands?

SPEAKER_05 29:01

They are all playing with men.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

In one way or another. She, in fact, has tons of stories to tell us.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Men should stop playing with her.

SPEAKER_05 29:10

Men need to stop playing with her. Her username is at Shonda Rhymes Stan account. Oh, she's crazy. And her name is Niani. Okay, Niani. I'd like to play a few of my favorites.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Anyways, let's get back to business. Part 7,862 of me trolling men for my own entertainment. The other day, my friend called me and she asked me, she said, Can you drive by my me house and see what cars are outside? So I drove by, I took a picture, and I sent it to her. She got into it with her man, and he's gonna say, wait till I find out who sent you that picture. So I texted him because I'm not scared. You don't have to find out, bitch. I'll do it myself. So I said, I texted him, I said, I heard you were looking for me. He said, Who is this? I said, the boogeyman. Who do you think it is? And then I sent him the picture outside his house. He said, LMAO, you must be one of her bald headed friends. The next time you come to my house, I'll be waiting for you. I said, Are you available now? I'd love to swing by for a chat. He said, nah, send me your address and I'll put up, pull up. I said, meet me here. Then I sent him the address for the unemployment office. He said, meet me at the restaurant to fix your address. Boom, bitch. I said, how long did it take you to come up with that? I understand how challenging insults can be to those of us who are literary impaired. He said, wait until I see you, bird. Keep that same energy when my sister shows up. If I had a dollar for every time a man threatened to get his sister to beat me up, I'd be rich. I said, I'll be ready. If she's cursed with them same clown ass feet that you have, I'll hear her coming from afar. He said it's giving scary. I said it's giving Paul Bunny. Then I said, if you put this much energy into writing those reps as you put into threatening women, then perhaps you wouldn't have to keep performing at birthday parties. Oh heck no. But I'm planning on making a text now number and taking it even further. Because you're gonna threaten me and my homegirls? I think the fuck not. You don't even know how I get down. Hold on.

SPEAKER_05 31:15

That was her friends, man. I'm under the impression that she's making all of these up because she has so many. Yeah. But the people in our comments were like, baby, when I see that pink iPad, I know what's about to go down. So I went on her page. So that's what happened. Ashley.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

I have decided to start being a thief. So there's been this guy that's been keeping, he keeps asking me to come to his house, come to his house, come to his house. And I keep saying, like, let's go out, let's do this. And after a while, I just stopped saying stuff because I'm not coming to your house. And then yesterday night, he was like, Yeah, come to my house. I'm gonna cook for you. So I'm like, yeah, sure. So I went over to his house and I bought back some goodies. He left to go get some alcohol. He asked me what my favorite alcohol was, and I was like, Yeah, I'm not drinking. I haven't both since yesterday morning. I had brunch. So he left to go to the liquor store to go get some um some liquor to make some drinks. And I'm gonna tell y'all what I got from the town. Um I'm gonna stucker for Coke Zero. Heck knives 40. I got some knives because I'm I've ran out of stillboard. I think I'll be throwing my stillboard in the trash can, to be honest. So I got some knives. I hear this sauce is really good. He has sauce with a pasta, just like a nigga. So I'm gonna have to figure out what kind of pasta this will go on. If anybody has any suggestions, this is a rap arabiata or arabiata. Maybe, I don't know. That's locked up on some uh toilet tissue. I just had two of them. I don't know why I didn't get more. I was running out of space in my bag. And then he had some core uh stain remover. Uh some of my statin shirts have stains in them, and you can't use actual bleach. It says it's bleach-free. So hopefully this will work.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

And then I got some snap glasses.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

I never thought to buy shot glasses, but I got some shot glasses. And then when I looked under his cabinet, he got a brand new blender. Brand new blender. It's never been opened. So wow. So I got I got a blender too. It's like one of those bullet blenders. Anyways, yeah, I think we should just start stealing. I don't think he's gonna ask me to come over to his house anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't think he's gonna ask me anything ever again. No.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

Anyways, have a good day. Where is she at? She's a menace. She's a menace, bro. She's a menace, bro. But she's hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 34:01

Menace. Where is she? And I can't believe it. Guess where she is? I think Charlotte. Like, oh yeah. I found a couple, I found a couple new people to follow, so I'm unsure. Yeah. But she is a fing menace. She's insane, bro. She's absolutely out of her mind. And so if you're looking for her page, it's Shonda Rhymes Stan account. And that's on TikTok. On TikTok. And her name is Niani, I think. But Niani is wild. And the girls and our comments of that video were like going ham. I love her. She's my favorite. As soon as I see that pink iPad, I'm ready. Girl, it sent me on a dive down her page, and I was just cackling.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Yeah, no, she's funny. She's crazy. She's crazy. She's an actual menace. Yeah. Like she's a menace to society.

SPEAKER_05 34:49

And she enjoys it. And honestly, if these are not real stories and she's making them up, beyond talented.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

And that's why I feel like maybe they're not, especially because if she's a Shonda Rhimes fan, it's giving like I'm writing these. Yeah, that's how she's I'm writing a book, actually.

SPEAKER_05 35:03

Shonda Rhimes' book actually starts just like that. Like I sometimes blur the lines between reality and the stories I make up in my head. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. So a revisit of the things I saw on the internet set me down a joyous little ride. She's T. Yeah. She's T. She's definitely. TV time. Oh yeah. Ash. Yeah. What the hell have you been watching?

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Oh my God. I don't even know. I've been doing weird things. Like watching shows weekly. I hate it. What? Like being up to date on TV shows is my nightmare. And like every show I'm currently watching is like a weekly release. And it drives me insane.

SPEAKER_05 35:48

So first of all, Paradise is back. Okay. I see the internet's kind of going wild about it. Someone's just crying in their into the story about it.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

Yeah, no, Paradise is insane.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

I wasn't sure how season two was gonna go, but the way that they're carrying on the story, and you're seeing different people come in from different angles every week. It's something new. Great. It's great. What does that come on, Paradise? Hulu.

SPEAKER_05 36:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

So Paradise, but it's coming out weekly. Painful.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

There's another show I'm watching on Hulu called Memory of a Killer. It's about this guy, and he's like a contract killer, but he's getting Alzheimer's. So he's starting to lose his memory, but he's also killing people. And then he has two double lives. Like he's lived a double life his whole life, where he's like this contract killer and has a family who thinks he sells copy machines and literally double life. It's great. And I has the one actor that I really like in it, and I can't think of what is what's his name? Patrick Dempsey. And he's the main character, and I like him. He's a great actor. It's a great show. Okay. But also watching it weekly is painful. Um my god, there is this other show called 56 Days. Okay. Really good, not weekly. Binge. Like six episodes, I think. Great show. I can't even possibly explain it to you because it's twisty. Okay. But just know it's really good. And um oh okay. Okay. My whole life, my mom, I I don't know about your mom, but my mom was obsessed with like Jackie Kennedy.

SPEAKER_05 37:29

Oh, I know what you're gonna say. I wanna watch it so bash.

SPEAKER_03 37:33

Caroline and Carol. Yes, the um love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bassett. What's the name of it? It's called Love Story, and then it's their names. But Carolyn Bassett was that girl. John F. Kennedy Jr. was that guy. I best show. And now I'm like obsessed with it. Where like now, like I've watched other documentaries about John F. Kennedy Jr. just because it's like so fascinating. And I just remember my mom always loving Jackie Kennedy. So I think for their age, like they, you know, it's like and my mom loved her and Princess Diana. Like those were like her.

SPEAKER_05 38:09

My mom too.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Yeah. So um, so now I like called her. I'm like, okay, so John F. Kennedy Jr. T, like, I love him. And she was like, Oh yeah, he's great. So um so amazing. I remember him dying though. See, I don't remember it. But and so the good thing about it, well, not the good thing, I guess. The first episode of the show, you see him getting into the plane. So they start the show at the end and then they go back to and so when I saw them get in the plane, I had to Google it and then I read about it. But now I'm like obsessed. She's like worked at Calvin Klein in the 90s. She's like the it girl in fashion. Like she was really close with Calvin Klein. She helped him do all those major ad campaigns and stuff. She was like, And then she starts dating him, and then she like gives up her job, and like it's just so good. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_05 39:00

I'm gonna start that this weekend because I've been it's been on my radar, yeah, but I haven't checked it out. Also weekly, it's driving me insane. By the time I watch it, everything will be out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Because I think there's only like one or two more episodes. So you by the time you watch it, you'll be fine. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, like really good.

SPEAKER_05 39:20

I'm excited for that one.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

So that's kind of like where I've been at. I've been at all over the place, and having to like literally just pace out my TV watching, which has been like a nightmare. But that's solid, that's four recommendations for the for the really good. I would start with a love story. I like Paradise and Love Story. Top two. Yeah, top two for sure. And not two. They're both one.

SPEAKER_05 39:43

They're both one. Okay. This week's dear young queen, meme of the week, says, How do you call someone's therapist and tell them what they've really been up to? Oh, I feel attached. What's crazy is I knew that you would feel that way. Yeah, because you don't like my therapist. But it's not even about your therapist. Oh, what's it about? It is about this amazing video I saw this week. Look at your guilty conscience.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

You need to- No, I happen to like my therapist.

SPEAKER_05 40:12

You don't.

SPEAKER_03 40:13

Yeah, I know, but the idea that you know people don't like. I'll take your advice when you told me to tell him the truth.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

Yeah, and then he gave you the worst advice in return, told you everything was okay. Like, well, maybe it is okay. Or maybe, you know, this is not about you in particular, but in general. Like, at some point, aren't you supposed to be able to like evolve past your therapist? Like, he's not supposed to be holding your hand through life.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

So at some point, they do have to tell you that things are wrong and coach you how to do through to do them.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

He does all the time.

SPEAKER_05 40:44

Oh, he does tell you things are wrong.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Yeah, especially with my relationship with Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:48

Oh, yeah. Okay, but Ashley, to be fair, we've been out of that for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Oh, I know. But now we're dealing with co-parenting. It's a whole new sorry, not my relationship with him, what will be the rest of my life and co-parenting our children. Got it, got it, got it, got it.

SPEAKER_05 41:02

I'm like, well, that was the last time he told you you were wrong, bitch. That was a while ago. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

We we're working on something new. Got him. You got what I'm saying? Yeah. Really, just me. Anyways, T. Yeah, I couldn't. We don't want we don't need to talk about him on a podcast.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

Yeah, he's gonna try to send us a cease and desist like Chris Samuels. Anyhow. Um so my homegirl's son sees a therapist.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Okay. And it's like just so you can set it up, how old is her son?

SPEAKER_05 41:31

He is a let's call it, I give it like five or six.

SPEAKER_03 41:34

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:34

But has behavioral issues.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

So it's like a behavioral therapist. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:38

And like you shared one time on this episode of this podcast, I don't know which one. You know, a lot of it is like occupational therapy. They're playing games, they're learning how to lose at a game, and when they lose, how they how to handle it and things like that. So she's in the play area with her son, and the therapist is in an earpiece and sitting watching them interact.

SPEAKER_03 42:02

Okay. This sounds like some rich people stuff.

SPEAKER_05 42:06

She's also a professor, so I think that she just knows about the different types of ways that you can go about this. Okay. And the kid is playing the game, and the therapist says to her in her ear, Okay, Jessica, yeah, tell him it's time to pack up and go. So she says, Okay, it's time to pack up and go. And he says, No, it's not. And she said, Yes, it is. He said, I don't know why you're listening to that lady in your ear.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Not having your five-year-old clock you. Like, you don't even know how to do this. You got someone in your ear trying to parent me. See, I have, oh, I wouldn't know what to do. I would fall out. She said, You know what? You're right. It's but either way, it's time to go. So get up.

SPEAKER_05 42:49

That's crazy. He said, I don't know why you're listening to that lady in your ear when I tell you that I replayed her story like five times because it was hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

That is so funny. These kids be too smart. They're they're too smart. Ashley. They're too smart. And they'd be standing outside our doors. They'd be listening, they're in all your business all the time. He heard her set that up the week before. Yes. He knew it was coming. He prepared for it all week. He knew it.

SPEAKER_05 43:21

And he was like, Oh, mom's coming into my therapy session this week. Like he knew exactly what was going on. So I was laughing. I had an interesting experience with my partner where I'd asked him if he wanted to go to couples therapy. He didn't want to do that. And then he came to me and said that he wanted to go to therapy.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Oh. By himself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:40

And then all of a sudden we got really fing nervous. Why? Because it's like, no, no, no, no, no. If you only tell your side of the story, yeah, it's not gonna be fair.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

They're gonna say we're not supposed to be together. They gotta hear my side too. That's not fair. No, that's true.

SPEAKER_05 43:58

They gotta, I don't know that. I trust it. Yeah. I actually think it's really tricky the more that I think about people in relationships going to therapy, individual therapy, and sharing what's going on in their relationships. Because you know you only share your side of the story or your interpretation of what happened.

SPEAKER_04 44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:17

And obviously, on your side of this, they're gonna give you the advice that likely says we shouldn't be together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:24

Because you're only telling half of the story. No, that's definitely true. Like if he wants to go to therapy, he can work on himself. But if if it is to like improve your relationship, then no, you need couples therapy.

SPEAKER_05 44:36

I think it's to go together, right? Yeah. I know I agree. But you're someone that talks about your relationship things with the therapist one-sided.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

That's true. But what I'll say is number one, I'm someone who's been in therapy for a while.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:52

So it would scare me too if they if he's never been to therapy and gets a taste. Because you don't know how it's gonna be so self-centered. Yeah. I know. Yeah, no, I agree with you. But hopefully, you would hope that the therapist essentially would just maybe give him tool. Like, I feel like one thing that when I was in a relationship, seeing a therapist to deal with my relationship. Yep. It was never like, oh yeah, you shouldn't be with him. You should break up with him. It was more like giving me tools on, okay, well, next time you feel like he's being dishonest. May you know, like tools on how, not like, oh, he's a liar, you should break up with him. Like I would have been out of there. Like she never said that to me, to be fair.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

I know you also fired her, and then you got another therapist and ended your relationship. T. Yeah. Yeah. And and arguably, you can correct me if I'm wrong. I don't really know. That's why I'm saying arguably. What pushed you back into therapy was relationship issues. Like feeling like this was the end of the road.

SPEAKER_03 46:02

Yes. But that's why I was seeking out help in how to like you see what I'm saying? Like, because I had been to the therapist that had seen me through the relationship. And I was like, okay, I don't need you anymore. I gotta find someone new to figure out how I'm getting the f. And yeah, you're right. Don't let him see the therapist. Don't let him see the therapist. Why did I suggest this? This is terrible. Yeah. That is actually so funny. He'll be fine. No, I because therapists don't really like, unless he goes in there, like, hey, I hate my girlfriend and I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Please help me with the exit strategy. Because I mean, essentially, like, I was like, how do I not fk up my kids? And like, yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, I was specific. I was very specific.

SPEAKER_05 46:58

Ashley, I was like, uh, are you sure? You don't think I don't really think you need it? It's it's uh that needs.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

That's like really terrifying. I I like literally froze in the man that like, yeah, maybe I should, maybe I should go to be a therapist. Like, no, you shouldn't.

SPEAKER_05 47:20

Not at all, actually.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

Actually, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_05 47:24

So the meme says, How do you call someone's therapist and tell them what they really be up to? Because if he gets a talking, I have to let her know my side of the story. I have to.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

You have to. Because uh, and to be fair, I think men are more likely to lie to their therapists than women.

SPEAKER_05 47:40

100%.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Like a man's never gonna go in there and be like, yeah, I lied. I really was on this girl, and I told her that I fell asleep. Like, he's not gonna say that. He's just gonna say, Well, she doesn't trust me and she goes crazy and blows up my phone, and I don't understand. Well, what did you hopefully a therapist would be like, well, was there maybe anything that you've done that has she always acted this way? Yeah, yeah, she's crazy from the start. She paid crazy in her last relationship. She told me she was crazy. Like, and they'd be like, Well, although I feel like he will take some accountability.

SPEAKER_05 48:16

Well, I follow this girl, Leander Dong, on Instagram. She's hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

Is that the Asian girl that's yes?

SPEAKER_05 48:25

Bro, I think she's funny too. This was literally would be me.

SPEAKER_04 48:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

No, no, no, no, no. Wait, that's not how it happened. No, no. He's crazy. That would be me.

SPEAKER_05 48:50

That's actually so funny, Ashley, because I wanna, you're my friend and I want to show up to your therapy at the appointment. Be like, listen.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

No.

SPEAKER_05 48:57

Okay, Ash, go, Ash, go ahead, tell her, tell your story. Tell it. Okay, now what she's forgetting to tell you is this, this, this, this, and this. Now offer your opinion. Yeah, now go. Now go. What do you have to say now?

SPEAKER_03 49:11

That would be the same way it would be. Imagine. Yeah, nah. That would actually, I understand. That would be terrifying.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

So just my suggestion to all the ladies out there, my dear young queen advice. Yeah, you know what? Just don't suggest couples therapy, just not just therapy. You just go on your own and figure out how to deal with it. Yeah. If you need the one to help you through it, do like Ash and go to the one to help you through it. And if you need the f out, go to the one to get you the f out. Yeah. But do not try to solve this problem with him.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

With him. Don't let him go.

SPEAKER_05 49:41

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

That's it. That's funny.

SPEAKER_05 49:43

Clock that.

SPEAKER_03 49:44

Clock all of that.

SPEAKER_05 49:45

Matter of fact, charge that to the game.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

T.

SPEAKER_05 49:47

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 49:48

That is so funny, Ashley. Real fear. Like, no, no, wait. No, you can't go. No. Never mind.

SPEAKER_05 49:58

You stopped me dead in my tracks. No. What do you mean you're gonna go by yourself?

SPEAKER_03 50:02

Yeah. Um, I you don't need therapy. You're perfect.

SPEAKER_05 50:07

I was just like, okay, hoping he never calls. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

Hoping he never never calls.

SPEAKER_05 50:12

I'll be your therapist, baby. Talk to me. Yeah. What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 50:15

What's going on? It's me? Well, we can let's work out of it. What?

SPEAKER_05 50:20

What? Go into that bitch to tell you how to solve this?

SPEAKER_03 50:23

No. I will say, in all those years of me going to that therapist and dealing with she never once was like, I think it's not therapist-y. I think it's like against their like they can't make a decision for you. Right. They can help you work through, like, well, what's your end goal? Like, what would you, you know what I mean? All scary. I know. All scary. All scary. Dr. Chris mapped that out to the T, to the time, to the out. Although I freestyled. I just, I just woke up and was like, today's the day. I called him. I was like, just so you know, I sent the text. He was like, wait, oh, okay. That was wild. I wasn't wild. You went off map. I went, I went off course. That was not, we were not, we were tracking for a few weeks down the line. We had things. Don't no. Also don't.

SPEAKER_05 51:16

And now you're wondering why you're having trouble co-parenting. Damn it. You went off track. I went off track. Oh MG. Anyways, that's funny.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

What time is it? It's question time. What time is it? It's question time. Ooh. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_05 51:35

This is funny. It's gonna hurt my feelings, but it's gonna be funny because I think you'll have a good answer.

SPEAKER_04 51:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

Okay, Ashley. If somebody asks you what I complain most about, what would you say?

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Everything okay, she go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 52:01

Tell the people how do you feel?

SPEAKER_03 52:03

Whoa. You guys don't know how many things she complains about just to get this set up. This, and now I've started like pre-guessing what your complaints will be and like waiting for you to say it. It's just because your attention to detail is so strong literally in every aspect of your life. So it's just like it's a lot that could be wrong.

SPEAKER_05 52:28

So uh I put something in my story this week that's like I bring a kind of why do we do it this way to the workplace? I saw that was that's very much you. I put an asterisk on that meme and I put to life, but who's counting?

SPEAKER_03 52:43

Yeah, no, that is funny.

SPEAKER_05 52:45

But also, yeah, I sent my boyfriend a meme that said, My mom didn't raise a quitter. Yeah, she raised a complainer, and I will be she did not raise a quitter, but she f raised a complainer. Yeah, and you're gonna live with that.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

Yeah. T. I'm not gonna quit. I will complain my way through it, and but I not quit it. No, refuse.

SPEAKER_05 53:06

But you're gonna hear every piece of this. That's funny. Anyways, not my fault.

SPEAKER_04 53:11

Your mom didn't your mom raised you that way.

SPEAKER_05 53:14

But if you had to narrow it down, what do you feel like I complain the most about? I knew you were gonna do that, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

You knew I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_05 53:23

I knew it.

SPEAKER_03 53:23

I mean, I think because we work together and do this, yeah, it's where I see it the most. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 53:31

But if I were to call you and complain about something, what would the call likely be about?

SPEAKER_03 53:35

I mean, it would probably be an ass. You don't really care enough about anything else.

SPEAKER_05 53:39

Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 53:40

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 53:41

Yeah. I just don't even feel like I even complain about him that much anymore. Well, no.

SPEAKER_03 53:45

Now now that's now that's done as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, so that's why I was like, I mean everything. Everything that was old Ashley, new Ashley. She's not complaining as much, just about the shadows that you guys may or may not see behind while watching this video.

SPEAKER_05 54:02

And honestly, I would quite frankly, I would really appreciate it if you actually just hop over to the comments and let me know if the shadows do bother you.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

Chances are it doesn't bother them. Well, now it will because they'll see it, but it didn't bother them before. Okay, drop it in the comments.

SPEAKER_05 54:21

Let us know.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

Okay. Question for you.

SPEAKER_05 54:24

Talk to me.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

What are the three things I say the most?

SPEAKER_05 54:28

I will slap her or I will kill her. Yeah. Depending on who you're talking about. Not her children, guys. I mean adults. She talks about this. Like wildly. I will kill you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:40

I do say that.

SPEAKER_05 54:41

I will fing kill you. I will, you're gonna make me slap. She's gonna make me slap her. I will slap her in her face. I will slap the shit out of her.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

Knowing I'm never, I never have slapped anyone.

SPEAKER_05 54:53

Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Um, and then you say, I just don't feel well.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

I just don't feel good.

SPEAKER_05 55:07

She doesn't feel good a solid 80% of the time.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

What? I never feel good.

SPEAKER_05 55:11

Yeah, you cough I coughed a little bit over there, and I was like, what the f yeah?

SPEAKER_03 55:16

Or I'm sleepy. I say I'm tired. I'm tired. Yeah, you say you're tired a lot. You're tired a lot, you're tired a lot.

SPEAKER_05 55:22

But even when you're just tired, you might say you don't feel well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

And it's like you're just tired. Yeah. But that makes me not feel well. I don't feel good. I should go to bed. Okay, that's funny. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 55:34

Um, my turn. What am I better at than anyone else you've ever met in your whole life? Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 55:41

So many things.

SPEAKER_05 55:43

You're better than complain about everything. What am I better at?

SPEAKER_03 55:48

You are fantastic at several things. Thank you. I can't believe I only have to choose one. Yes, please. I too much.

SPEAKER_05 55:59

It will be too much. I know. So we're running out of time. I know. And you can't say everything again because you already said everything. You already said it. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

So I would say like you are a phenomenal problem solver. Yeah. You're really, really, really good.

SPEAKER_05 56:14

Too good at it.

SPEAKER_03 56:15

Too good. Like, great. Yeah. You have a solution to most things. Like, if I'm like, well, I need to fly to the moon tomorrow, and I've got to bring my kids, but they can't miss school and they have a test. And so we only have these hours. You'd be like, okay, well, here's what we're gonna do. The shuttle's gonna leave from here. So you just gotta make sure that they do their tests as soon as they get to school, and then you pick them up. And then we've got to get you on a helicopter to the shuttle. Like, you would literally, like, you are phenomenal at it.

SPEAKER_05 56:44

No, no, no. Like, if I was a man, I would get off on it. Yeah. Like for me, you know, people hated math class or like whatever.

SPEAKER_03 56:50

Yeah. Especially the word problems, you probably love a word problem, bro. Oh my god, I loved the word problem. You were probably doing extra credit word problems. Oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

Don't if Sally had eight apples and Johnny had four, but Susie came over and took six. Yeah. Let's draw a picture. So here's her eight. And here's her four. No, I believe it. I loved that. And also it served me in standardized testing.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

SPEAKER_05 57:23

I always like ranked high on any type of word problems.

SPEAKER_03 57:26

Well, your brain is just really wired for that. Like it's like your gift.

SPEAKER_05 57:32

I really enjoy it.

SPEAKER_03 57:33

Yeah. So you're gifted. Like literally, I don't think I know a better problem solver than you. And it could be a wide range of problems. And it could even be something that you're not familiar with, but you will rationalize it and like, you know what I mean? That is what makes you also a great problem. You don't dwell on the problem, you figure out the solution. And a lot of people like me will dwell on the problem and be like, oh, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_05 58:01

And that's too much. That stresses me out because it's like you're gonna not you per se, but people, you're living in a state of like things are happening to you. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

You don't live in that state.

SPEAKER_05 58:11

Yeah. And you know, I think a lot of it too comes from my mom. My mom was also the problem solver for her friends.

SPEAKER_04 58:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:18

She was the person that they called. So I constantly was hearing her figure out things for people. And then I think it just trickled down. Yeah. I mean, simple shit. Like, so my mom had a friend, I I've told I've talked about this like during Christmas before. A friend of hers, she was in a car accident, so she was disabled and didn't work and but had kids. And so my mom would like always find these programs and resources for her to be able to like get gifts for the kids on the holidays or whatever. But like every time I would go to their house, their shit was better than ours. Yeah, you'd be like, Why you can't find the programs for us? Like, she ain't got no damn job. And you'd have figured out how to get her a new TV, got them a new, yeah. What the f?

SPEAKER_04 59:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 59:06

She got a personal driver, they got the handicap sticker in the window, so they don't gotta park in the back of the lot.

SPEAKER_03 59:11

Like, we gotta do it all. But we gotta do it all.

SPEAKER_05 59:14

You over here solving these people's problems. Yeah. But as I've gotten older, become the problem solver, and when I see her still doing it now, it's very frustrating. Uh-huh. Because this is the time where I want her to worry most about solving her own problems. Like, so yeah. So it went for having this deep appreciation for it and understanding and learning from it to being like, okay, stop it now.

SPEAKER_03 59:35

Yeah, now you're done. You did your work and you are done.

SPEAKER_05 59:39

Please stop now and just fix your own problems, like whatever they may be. Yeah. So yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_03 59:44

That's interesting. Yeah. Yet turn. Okay. Since we were just talking about your mom.

SPEAKER_05 59:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 59:51

If I told your mom I needed tips on getting through to you, what would she say? Ain't no getting through.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:01

Try again. She would say, When you find out, let me know. Yeah. Straight up. That's funny. She would say, Hell Ashley, you got a better time than me. Good luck. Let me know when you figure it out. But I think she would probably say, let her figure it out. Yeah. She gotta figure it out on her own. But I do think that she would probably assume, like, not assume, she would probably tell you, like, do whatever you do because you get through to her best.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

She would encourage me to try whatever I could, but don't be surprised if it doesn't work. Exactly. Because typically, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:39

My mom is pretty good at telling others to let me be.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:43

But she's not that great at letting me be. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Which moms are, I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:49

For sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:50

Um, so yeah, sometimes I want to be like, I'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:53

I'm grown. Yeah. Like, I'll get it. Yeah. But she still does poking.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:57

Pokey pokey. Well, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:58

But she I would never encourage you to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:01

She just doesn't even know she's doing it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:03

They don't know. They don't know. I'll just be like, okay, Pam, bye. I'm done. And I I I didn't call for your, I didn't need your help.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:10

I was sharing.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:11

I was just sharing. I don't need you to solve the like please stop.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:15

Please. Yeah. I don't understand. Yeah. But whatever. We're blessed and lucky to still have them to do it. So counting.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

Yeah. Not complaining. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:25

Well, Ash, great episode. Love it. Glad to be in this uh hampset. Who knows what we may be trying something else. We might need to try something else soon. But yeah. We'll figure it out. Yep. Until next week. Bye. Bye.