Navigating Difficult Conversations: Speak Your Truth Without Burning Bridges

Strategically Handling Difficult Conversations: A Three-Step Framework

In this episode of Leadership RX for Women Physicians, Dr. Asha Padmanabhan, the host and anesthesiologist, physician leader, and founder of Leadership RX coaching, discusses the challenges of navigating difficult conversations. She provides a simple three-step framework — preparation, execution, and follow-up — to handle such situations better and with less stress. Alongside, she emphasizes the importance of two key tools, active listening, and emotional intelligence. Drawing from her own experiences, she demonstrates the application of these principles and encourages listeners to practice for better management of challenging dialogues. Additionally, she hints at the launch of a free self-assessment tool for honing communication-related skills.

00:06 Introduction and Welcome

00:14 The Challenge of Difficult Conversations

02:09 Common Mistakes in Difficult Conversations

03:50 Three-Step Framework for Difficult Conversations

07:08 Tools for Effective Communication: Active Listening and Emotional Intelligence

09:20 Reiteration and Application of the Framework

10:03 Offering a Self-Assessment Tool and Conclusion

Connect with Dr. Asha Padmanabhan:

🌐 Website: www.theleadershiprx.com
📝 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/asha.padmanabhan.9
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/asha.md/
💼 LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/ashapadmanabhan

Subscribe to my email newsletter for more actionable tips, click here
https://asha-padmanabhan.mykajabi.com/newsletter

✨ If this episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe, rate ⭐️, and leave a review ✍🏼. Your support helps us bring these conversations to more women physicians.

Subscribe to my email newsletter for more actionable tips, click here
https://asha-padmanabhan.mykajabi.com/newsletter


To explore how Coaching can help you, DM me on LinkedIn or Facebook

Transcript

0:06

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the leadership RX for women Physicians. If you're new here. A warm welcome to you as well. Today, I'm going to be delving into a topic that I know many of us find incredibly challenging, and that is difficult conversations. Yes. You heard me right. Difficult conversations. You've had them. I've had them. We've all had them. But what if I told you there's a way to navigate these uncomfortable talks with confidence and ease. Stick with me. And we'll soon uncover some valuable strategies. I'm your host, Dr. And I am a practicing anesthesiologist and a physician leader. I'm the founder of leadership RX coaching. And of course this podcast. I help women physicians achieve their full potential professionally. While leading a personally fulfilled and balanced life. Sounds good. Doesn't it? So difficult conversations. You might wonder why are difficult conversations so difficult? It's not that you haven't encountered them before, but if you've ever wondered why the difficult. It's often because they touch on issues that trigger or emotional vulnerabilities. It's like walking on a tightrope. Isn't it. You're trying to balance your own needs without offending the other person. Like when I'm working with a particular nurse who I feel is chronically under-prepared when I'm doing a regional block. And every time we tried to do this block, she does not have all the equipment ready. And she waits to see me show up to the block room before even starting to get the equipment and the drugs. And then ask me every time. What do you need? Like that particular time when I so badly. want to Explode that we do this every single week. Why do you have to ask me? Why couldn't you just be ready? Now I tried different methods of solving this issue for a long time and nothing seemed to work. So let's look at some common mistakes we all make and which I've certainly done every single time, not only in this instance, but also in other instances, The first mistake is going into a conversation unprepared. Have you ever done that? I have. I've had this particular situation that I talked about and other situations where I have tried to solve it in the moment. And it's never a good idea because I'm frustrated and coming into it with that frustration. And definitely not prepared because even though I've dealt with this every week, Sitting down to have a conversation. In the sport at the moment is never a good idea. The second mistake becoming too emotional and taking things personally. Of course I've done that. Thinking to myself. Why do you keep doing this to me? You don't do this to other physicians. And then that triggers more anger and frustration. But the biggest mistake of all is avoiding the conversation altogether. Have you done that? I've done it, not just with this one. Where it went for months before I even made the attempt at the first conversation. Or even many of those times it was very passive aggressive. It was trying to say something. Without trying to make the other person feel bad about it, which of course became such an indirect communication that the message never came across. So, like I said, I've made all three mistakes, not once, but over and over again. So, how can you do things differently? Well, that's what I'm here to teach you. I found the three-step framework. That really helped me and then might help you as well. It's helped several of my coaching clients and given them something simple to be able to take conversations like this. Or difficult challenges like this and stop avoiding stop emotionally reacting. And stop going in on prepared. So what are the three steps of this framework? Step one is preparation. So that includes understanding the issue at hand and the possible outcomes you want. For me. The issue at hand was the chronic inability of this person to be prepared, which then led into delayed. Time for me and also ran into other stuff that I needed to get done in the, or. So that for me was the issue and the possible outcome I wanted. The conversation was to help things get a little better. And of course it was that I wanted it to be absolutely. Ready to go, but even a start halfway ready would be fine too. So that's step one is preparation, understand the issue at hand. Step two is execution of that conversation. And the execution needs to be clear, concise, and concentrate. It's not what you say is how you say it. And that was where I was making my second mistake because I was trying to beat around the Bush, trying to be nice and not hurt her feelings. And not being very effective in what I was saying. So it never got across. So being clear, concise and considerate means for me, it meant on focusing on that one issue. On that one particular day, rather than all the times in the past that had not happened. Then being clear about my expectations, about what I needed, which I could start with making a checklist of what I wanted. And then the third part would be discussing this at a time when we both had some free time, rather than in the moment when I was angry and upset. And then step three, that is follow up. Follow up is where you can clarify any misunderstandings and take the necessary steps going forward. So after I had prepared. After I had executed clearly concisely while being considerate of this person and what they were bringing to the table in terms of their challenges with being prepared. Then. We clarified any misunderstandings. I was clear enough to ask that person. What their challenges were. and why they could not get things ready. And what I could do to help them get ready. And so the necessary steps going forward. So just to reiterate. Preparation. Execution and then follow up. So if you're thinking. Okay, this is easier said than done. Trust me. I get you. That's why I want to give you a couple of tools. So the first one is active listening, and this was key for me for this person and for other conversations as well. Where. active listening means you don't just listen to respond. You listen to understand. Most of us are always trying to think of what we are going to say next, when we're in these kinds of difficult conversations. So we are listening to respond. so stop for a second and actually actively listen to what that person was saying. So. The nurse that I was working with. When I asked her what her challenges was, one of them was that she didn't remember what each particular physician wanted for the block. And instead of jumping into that, well, And saying that what we do this every time you should know. I was able to actually understand the concerns and come up with ideas, like a checklist that you could look at. which I could help with. Or other issues that will have come up. The second tool. Is emotional intelligence and that is being aware of and controlling your emotions. You'll find this a common. team in most of my podcast episodes. And that is because it is one of the most important things you could do for yourself is learn how to be emotionally intelligent. Because what that means is you will not only be aware of your own. Emotions and then be able to manage them, but you will also be able to manage and control others' emotions based on how you react and behave. So controlling your emotions is key. And the first step for that is becoming aware of them. So this case. When the person comes up with excuses over and over then instead of getting frustrated, I am able to recognize that I'm going down the path of frustration. And. Learning that that is not going to help me. If I then go into this conversation or continue this conversation frustrated, I'm able to manage that a lot better because now of the practice that I've had. So those are the two tools. Active listening and emotional intelligence. So just two. Reiterate the simple three step framework for you to use in difficult conversations. Is one preparation. To execution three follow-up. And when you combine that with the two tools of active listening and emotional intelligence, You are going to be a star at difficult conversations. Now remember navigating difficult conversations, doesn't have to be as hard as we make it out to be. And also remember the practice makes perfect. So think of the next time you're going to have a difficult conversation, which I'm sure you probably know because there's, sometimes there's a situation that keep repeating at work or at home and try and practice these things. So if you under deep dive into each of these points at more actionable steps, I've created a powerful and free self-assessment tool for you to identify your unique communication styles and specific areas where you can grow. I'll be launching that soon. So don't forget to sign up for my email newsletter, which I will put the link for in the show notes and in the social media posts about this episode, and you can be the first person to get your hands on it. You'll get personalized tips that you won't find anywhere else. Thanks so much for tuning in. If you found value in this episode, please rate, review it and share it until next time.