The Art of Conflict: Transforming Disagreements into Connections

In this podcast episode, Dr. Asha Padmanabhan discusses the importance of embracing conflict constructively in order to enhance personal growth and improve relationships. She explains that conflict is often avoided out of fear of rejection, causing harm or escalating a situation. However, avoiding conflict leads to deterioration of relationships and mental health. She introduces a three-step framework for managing conflict, which includes preparation, communication, and resolution. She stresses on active listening, empathy, and finding a common ground as the keys to effective conflict resolution. The episode concludes with an invitation to sign up for her newsletter and watch out for a free assessment she is launching that aids in identifying communication style and tackling communication challenges.

00:06 Introduction to Embracing Disagreements

00:51 Understanding the Fear of Conflict

02:09 The Cost of Avoiding Conflict

02:57 The Solution: Embrace Conflict Constructively

03:12 Three-Step Approach to Managing Conflict

03:26 Step One: Preparation

04:13 Step Two: Communication

05:22 Step Three: Resolution

06:16 The Importance of Active Listening and Empathy

06:38 Applying the Three-Step Framework

07:27 Turning Conflicts into Constructive Conversations

07:48 Invitation to Sign Up for the Newsletter

08:25 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Connect with Dr. Asha Padmanabhan:

🌐 Website: www.theleadershiprx.com
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📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/asha.md/
💼 LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/ashapadmanabhan

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Transcript

0:06

Have you ever felt like you're tiptoeing around issues and people. Trying to avoid conflict at all costs. What today I'm going to flip the script and I'm going to tell you how to embrace disagreements constructively. Welcome to the Leadership Prescription Podcast for Women Physicians, the place where we don't challenges into opportunities for growth. I'm your host, Dr. Asha Padmanabhan I'm a practicing anesthesiologist and a physician leader. I'm the founder of leadership RX coaching. Where I help women physicians achieve their full potential professionally. Y leading a personally fulfilled and balanced life through teaching them essential skills, like conflict management, effective communication and time management. So conflict. Why do we avoid them? Let's start with talking about why conflict feels so uncomfortable. I have felt uncomfortable in so many conflict situations. I've run away from them, avoided them, any word that you can use for many years of my life. So why do we tend to do that? Is because it's often linked to fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of causing harm or fear of escalating a situation. Can you think of situations in your life, either at work or at home? Where each of those fields have played a role in you wanting to avoid conflict? When someone expresses an opinion, which I don't agree with, but I want to be liked. I tended not to offer my opinion. I feel rejection. Or when a surgeon is yelling at me for delaying her case, instead of standing up for myself, I might choose to swallow my anger so that the conflict doesn't escalate and build, and we're not yelling at each other across the abattoir. But what have I told you that conflict if approached correctly? Can lead to incredible growth and deeper understanding. And make you more confident when you learn to handle it right. Why would you want to do that? When sometimes it's just easier to let go. Because there's a cost to it. Avoiding conflict doesn't make it disappear. In fact, it usually grows effecting not just the situation, but your mental health. I am key example of this. I spent my entire life avoiding conflict and then saw the consequences of it. What on my mental health and on my relationships. So let's explore what happens when we let things simmer under the surface and why it's essential to address issues. Head-on. When we let it simmer, we become better. We become angry at ourselves for not standing up for ourselves. We've become angry at the other person for winning the argument, the relationship deteriorates naturally. And it all spirals down from there. So what's the solution. The solution is to embrace conflict constructively. And how do you do that? You're telling me. That sounds easy, but that's not very easy to actually do. Is it. So here's where the magic happens. I'm going to walk you through a three step approach to managing conflict. Which has helped me in my own life. And in my clients' lives Who I've been privileged to coach through this. So my three step approach to managing conflict, the first step is preparation. And that means understanding both sides of the issue and knowing what outcome you're aiming for. For example. My patient needed urgent lab work, which we didn't have. And so I wanted to delay surgery because I felt that it was unsafe. The other surgeon that I was delaying was obviously not happy. And I knew there must be a reason for them wanting to do this right now, other than the voices in my head, which was telling me that she just wanted to be obstructive. Obviously that's not the reason. But going into the situation prepared. I would help me to take the next step. Which was communication. So here, when you're communicating with the other person, try to use I-statements. Try to use active listening. And try to use empathy to express your perspective and to understand theirs. So in the case of the surgeon, when I went into it prepared, I knew what I needed, but I had to understand what she needed. And when I went into it with that way of approaching it. Without being defensive without being angry. I was able to talk to her. And I learned that the delay would obviously mess up her schedule, which I knew, but then the consequences of that for the rest of her day would mean it would make her late for clinic. Leading to IRA patients, which we all know how upset that they get when we are late. And then finally with that kind of late schedule, late clinic, she wouldn't be able to pick up her kid at school. All of those reasons I could understand. And when I understood them, it made it easier for me to be able to work with her, to come up with the solution. So that is the third step. The resolution. Which is you work together to find common ground and a path forward that respects both parties. And so once she realized that I was willing to listen, that I was not being obstructive. And that I was willing to work with her. We worked towards the common ground, which was I needed to make sure that the patient had the labs. She needed to make sure there was not much delay. And so we decided to move up the second case forward. While the first patient was getting the labs done. And so there was minimal delay in getting through the day. She was able to get to her clinic without too much of a delay. And she was able to go pick up her kid at school. So resolution is way again, you work together to find the common ground. And all of this, the third part cannot happen if you haven't done step one and step two, which is the preparation. And then the communication and here, the communication I would say is really the key. And I would tell you. For that really listening actively and being empathetic. To the other person's perspective and understanding that perspective is really key. To making sure your conflict does not escalate. So think about a few conflict that you've had in the past. And think about when you're going to meet that person next. And if you are anything like me, if you've been avoiding conflict, you would dread that next interaction or you would be avoiding it. And then just keeping things superficial and. Not really working together towards a resolution. So my encouragement to you is use the three step framework. It's easy to understand and remember, and that is first is to understand both sides of the issue. So prepare. Next really key important thing is to communicate. And here is active listening, empathy and using I-statements and lastly resolution where you work together to find a common ground and a path that moves forward. And so that's how I turned potential conflicts into constructive conversations now. And it's all about finding balance and mutual respect, even when you disagree. And so there you have it. Conflict doesn't have to be a roadblock with the right tools. It can be a bridge to better understanding and stronger relationships. Now if you're hungry for more in-depth strategies and personal guidance, sign up for my newsletter. When I dive deeper into these topics. And keep a watch out in my emails for an exclusive free assessment. I'm in the process of launching. Which will help you identify your unique communication style, how you deal with conflict, how you deal with. Other communication challenges you might face. And this assessment is going to not just help you understand your style, but give you real life workable tips on how you can work towards a better communication style. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a colleague who might also benefit from learning how to approach conflict positively. Until next time. And remember confrontation can lead to clarity. It does not have to lead to escalating conflict.