Dealing with Goliath: Psychological Edge for Business Leaders

Uwe Dockhorn: What's on the other side of fear for Professional Couples (#023)

October 27, 2020 Al McBride
Dealing with Goliath: Psychological Edge for Business Leaders
Uwe Dockhorn: What's on the other side of fear for Professional Couples (#023)
Show Notes Transcript

Uwe Dockhorn is known as the lifestyle Liberator and delivered over 15,000 2-hours sessions worldwide in the last 12 years.

He is the father of the AIM system. A simple three step life changing experience for in demand  professionals who want to get back their family Mojo, double their financial security, and live in abundance in all areas of their life without feelings of guilt or second guessing.

Recently, he started an already five star rated podcast called Liftoff with energizing results. Uwe interviews guests who are mostly millennials and Generation X, managing their own entrepreneurial aspirations on top of their family life.

He provides a safe space for them, so they can discover how to balance their high achiever job with their life partner, the VIP and their life. Their very important partner.

Topics explored:

  • Not so much smart and lazy, but smart and focused
  • The professional and their Very Important Person
  • The dangerous dynamic shift in the relationship, especially high achievers
  • Loss of identity and self esteem
  • The early signs of burning out
  • Healthy diet, mindset, meditation and yoga are great but they don't fix the problem
  • What's on the other side of fear?
  • The secret vitality formula
  • It starts with the self
  • How Uwe is different from couples' counselling
  • Remarkable offer

If you're interested in more visit ▶ https://almcbride.com/minicourse
for a free email minicourse on how to gain the psychological edge in your negotiations and critical conversations along with a helpful negotiation prep cheat sheet.

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Al McBride 0:05
Welcome to the dealing with Goliath podcast. The mission of dealing with Goliath is to sharpen the psychological edge in business leaders with skin in the game, who want to be more effective under pressure, uncover hidden value and increase profitability.

Al McBride 0:20
With expert guests across the business spectrum we deliver gems of wisdom, delving into their methods, their thinking and approach to business life and problem solving. This is the double espresso shot of insight through our short interview format, where we are quick and concise with just five questions in nine minutes.

Al McBride 0:39
I'm your host Al McBride and my guest today is Uwe Dockhorn. Uwe is known as the lifestyle Liberator and delivered over 15,000 2 hours sessions worldwide in the last 12 years.

Al McBride 0:53
He is the father of the AIM system. A simple three step life changing experience for in demand professionals who want to get back their family Mojo, double their financial security, and live in abundance in all areas of their life without feelings of guilt or second guessing.

Al McBride 1:11
Recently, he started an already five star rated podcast called liftoff with energizing results. Uwe interviews guests who are mostly millennials and Generation X, managing their own entrepreneurial aspirations on top of their family life.

Al McBride 1:27
He provides a safe space for them, so they can discover how to balance their high achiever job with their life partner, the VIP and their life. They're very important partner. So Uwe. Welcome to the show. Great to have you on.

Uwe Dockhorn 1:41
Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

Al McBride 1:43
Excellent stuff. Excellent. So let's dive straight in. So who is your ideal client? What's the biggest challenge that they face?

Uwe Dockhorn 1:51
Right? You see, when I began working with medical professionals, executives, business owners, the providers in a family and especially if they were parents, I found the same anxiety, depression, or even feelings of overwhelm, trying to keep up money matters, romance and intimacy and juggling childcare.

Uwe Dockhorn 2:10
And the biggest challenge is that there is a dangerous dynamic shift in the relationship, especially in high achiever families. On the one side, you have the provider being in demand and up here.

Uwe Dockhorn 2:23
And on the other side, you have the life partner at home asking, What about me? So not only that, there is a ripple effect on their equally ambitious and dedicated partners. I call them the VIPs and who feel unsupported and over time lose their self esteem and feel abandoned.

Al McBride 2:43
Right. I mean, I remember we talked about this before, and it was fascinating that, you know, they're used to being very accomplished often in their own right. And then as you said, certainly in dinner parties or cocktail parties, suppose pre COVID.

Al McBride 2:58
But then they're suddenly known as the spouse of rather than someone in their own right. And as he said, it must really must really affect their their identity, as you said, in self esteem and self worth. So what are some of those common mistakes people make when they're trying to solve those issues?

Uwe Dockhorn 3:16
Yeah, right. So let's see. So let's see this from the perspective of the VIP, okay. So when when you feel frustrated and exhausted, meant for more, but yet you're afraid of being not good enough and thinking this is how it is what you want from me, and maybe being sarcastic and easily annoyed.

Uwe Dockhorn 3:36
These are early signs of burning out. So all you hear this from your partner, and find yourself in a family where all the career ambition has been allocated to one person, as I mentioned earlier, and you feel stuck and in a relentless loop, shouldering more of the child raising household duties and one of the most common sciences that you just mentioned.

Uwe Dockhorn 3:59
When you have heard too often something along the lines Oh, you're the spouse of Dr. So and so nice to meet you and you flinch but politely smile. So these are symptoms of increasingly living at the edge of burning out and, and disavowed emotional distress is a way of coping.

Uwe Dockhorn 4:19
It's not the right way, but it's a way and many feel they have to deal with it alone or try self help techniques like a healthy diet, reducing alcohol, meditation, breathing exercises, and developing holistic ways to think about life challenges differently. So mindset techniques have existed since the 1990s.

Uwe Dockhorn 4:40
However, the figures of burnout sufferers show that none of these work long term mindset techniques only deal with one half of the solution. And new findings show the core burnout isn't self created beliefs and patterns. Therefore, you ask you risk losing your vitality, your business purpose. Most importantly, losing the relationship you care about.

Al McBride 5:06
And it's a fascinating thing, isn't it? As he said that, you know, mindset or healthy diets, meditation, yoga, you name it, all these things are good in their own right, they have value.

Al McBride 5:17
But as I said, they're they're a little bit more about dealing with a lot of the symptoms and dealing with the underlying problems, right. So they offer a bit of relief, but they don't really solve the issue or move you forward.

Al McBride 5:28
Yeah, very, very interesting. So what might be one valuable free action? That someone, as I said, maybe in this situation can start to implement won't solve the problem, but maybe put them on the right trajectory?

Uwe Dockhorn 5:42
Yeah, we can talk about all but let's, let's just say, Well, one of the biggest issues is fear. And I always asked my clients at one point, can you imagine a scale, and I let them draw a line on the left side of the scale is fear. And then I asked what is on the other side of that scale? So what do you think?

Al McBride 6:05
What do they usually say?

Uwe Dockhorn 6:07
Well, what do you think?

Uwe Dockhorn 6:09
what's on the other side of fear? What's the other side of fear? Well, sometimes they say love or something like that, or something similar. While it is trust.

Uwe Dockhorn 6:22
Then I asked them to imagine where they are right now in this very moment on that scale closer to fear or trust, or just right in the middle. Okay. So now imagine below, there is another line, but this time, it's an arrow that starts from the left and goes to the right.

Uwe Dockhorn 6:40
Now the left side gets zero, and the right side gets the infinity symbol, the eight that is lying on the side, right? Okay, then I asked them, How is this second line? The arrow related to the one above that goes from fear to trust? So I asked them just to name it, and what do you think it is? And

Al McBride 7:04
what do they normally say?

Uwe Dockhorn 7:08
Well, let's just solve it. It's energy. Okay, so that means every time you feel you're closer to fear, you lose energy. And every time you decide to trust you gain energy is simple, right? And I call this the secret vitality formula. And it is E for energy equals T for trust minus F for fear. t minus F. Energy, mentality formula,

Al McBride 7:45
trust, less fear.

Uwe Dockhorn 7:47
Exactly.

Al McBride 7:48
It does make perfect sense. You're absolutely right. It's a very interesting one. Yeah, it parallels with the old idea of you know, you're either living in fear or you're living in love and gratitude. But as you said, love and gratitude applied is trust. Yeah, okay. But you have

Uwe Dockhorn 8:05
to trust first, yourself first, in order to have love and and all that you aspire, right, of course, that's the mechanics behind it. So that's why I always go deeper to the root causes of things. And this formula helps with that.

Al McBride 8:22
Absolutely. That's very insightful stuff very insightful. What is one valuable then free act? Sorry, talked about the free action is one valuable free resource. Yeah. And that you could direct people to?

Uwe Dockhorn 8:37
Yes, simply go to my website that's uwedockhorn.com and apply for a free two hour liberating lifestyle session. So here's what you get, you create a sense of clarity of what a liberating lifestyle was energizing real results will look and feel like.

Uwe Dockhorn 8:57
You discover essential building blocks to be protected by your internally anchored as I call it, anti burnout system, you experienced the number one thing stopping you from finding out how to protect your lifestyle, your business and your family, or life partner.

Uwe Dockhorn 9:15
And you complete the session with the excitement of knowing exactly what to do next, and walk away with the one sentence that has the power to guide your future. Plus, you receive your comprehensive personal development analysis compiled by me within 24 hours, and the video recording of the session so you get a total value of $4,750. And all you have to do is go to uwedockhorn.com. That's uwedockhorn.com and apply

Al McBride 9:49
excellent stuff. Of course, we'll put the link in the in the show notes below this podcast and of course on YouTube, it'll be below the video. That's remarkable, huge bundle of value. They're quite remarkable. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's impressive stuff. What would be one question I should have asked you, that would be of great value to the audience.

Uwe Dockhorn 10:19
Hmm. That's a great one. So, what differentiates you from family counseling or similar solutions for couples? Okay. So what differentiates me is that I will coach both partners separately, and bring them with their results together in evaluation sessions.

Uwe Dockhorn 10:44
So they can level up to have that eye to eye intimacy, again, that they love so much, why getting back their family Mojo, doubling their financial security and living in abundance in all areas of their life. So my clients love it this way, because it's the most efficient and effective way of coaching.

Uwe Dockhorn 11:04
So take step one, a senior account manager who came to me after a second burnout just recently told me Uwe you supported me to have more success in the job but to work less, gain more money and to find out what is important to me in life, me and my family?

Al McBride 11:23
outstanding, outstanding stuff. Well, we're just coming up on time there. Uwe. So thank you so much for such a powerful interview in such a short time, there's so many gems there. So thank you. Perhaps I have you on the show for a longer interview there down the line. So I would love it. Thank you very much. Cheers. Thank you so much.