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Stand Tall & Own It
Something shifted. You can feel it. You just can't name it yet.
Stand Tall & Own It is for women in the second half of life who are high-functioning on the outside and quietly disoriented on the inside. You built your life inside systems you trusted completely — until you realized you couldn't tell what was actually yours from what you'd just learned to navigate well.
Host Andrea Johnson doesn't offer formulas. She offers honest thinking, sharp observation, and the kind of conversation that makes you pull over and sit in your driveway.
This is where the real work starts.
Stand Tall & Own It
Episode 82 - Get Comfortable On Camera, with Suzanne Glover
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Suzanne Glover, a professional actress, sales pro and internet marketer with 35 years of experience helps you strategically leverage video to grow both business and enhance your life. Suzanne gained recognition in the TV / film industry teaching secrets for top level actors. She uses those same methods to teach people to connect through the camera and sell successfully in today's virtual world. Suzanne has lived the midlife dilemma while keeping her business alive by pivoting to meet today's expectations.
Topics:
1. Overcoming challenges to take back your personal power.
2. Become a Midlife Video Influencer - issues women face and how to overcome with confidence.
Habits:
1. Use positive opposites. Ask yourself what did I do right today?
2. Make a list daily, it will truly change your energy and your confidence.
Green Flags:
1. Determine if your desire to be in the online space is a hobby or a business
2. If it’s truly for business, are you willing to take the risk?
Advice:
1. Practice makes permanent - be careful how you practice.
2. Don’t force it - get good help and training.
3. Be careful of who you listen to - and always check in with yourself.
Where to find Suzanne:
Website: Suzanne Glover
LinkedIn: Suzanne Glover
Facebook: Become Positive
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You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths, and fear for inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows? You just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original intentional optimist. Hey there, welcome to episode 82. Back in March of 2020, I was gaining momentum for a local consulting business launch, with several consulting contracts in negotiation, when, you guessed it, COVID. Now fortunately, I was also in the middle of some online launches as well, including a global Facebook group and some one-on-one coaching that could easily be done via Zoom. So I hit that pivot button. I switched gears and I poured all my energy into that side of my business. Now, I also understand what a blessing that is, and I have so many examples of business owners who were not able to pivot. But many actually have. Add to that the crowds leaving conventional work for virtual and the amazing number of women heading into encore careers, and the online space is full of shiny new faces every single day. Do you fall into any of those categories? Have you pivoted into an online business? If so, I'll bet you're running into many of the same challenges that I have. Some are technical, and if you're like me, just learning something new uses up an exorbitant amount of my energy. Some, though, are just managing how life jumps in and uses up all my bandwidth, making those things even more of a challenge. Well, I have a treat for you today. Suzanne Glover started modeling and acting over 30 years ago, and now she specializes in helping women learn true comfort with the camera, from the inside out. She's seen it all, my friend. The modeling, the acting career, and the industry, plus all the midlife drama. Now she's pulled together some fabulous resources based on all of that experience to help you reach the audience with whom you were meant to connect. So stay tuned for her story of how she got here and some great reasons why taking video quality seriously will really make a difference in your business. Here's my friend, Suzanne. Hey, Suzanne, welcome to the show. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Andrea. It's wonderful to be here. I am excited about having this conversation. We were joking just before we hit record that um this year we're finally putting things on YouTube. And we're not sure exactly what date that will be, but I am now going to be talking to a little bit of an expert on how to do the video stuff. So I am excited to let my audience get to know you, and I am gonna learn myself. So welcome.
SPEAKER_01And I'm gonna learn myself too as we talk.
SPEAKER_00You know, that right there tells me that we are in a great space because everything we do, we should be learning from. So that I think that's fabulous. Yeah. So I've given you a small intro and told everybody why they should what they should look for and why this is a great interview. But I need you to kind of give us a good background, like tell us a little more about yourself, what you do, and why you do it, and how you're an unconventional leader today.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's a mouthful. All right. I will I will be quick about that. Uh, I started pretty much as a model way back when. Remember Cheryl Teagues? I don't know if you remember her, but back in the years. I do. See? Cheryl Teagues. People said you look like Cheryl Teagues, you should be a model. So I became a model. But um, you know, you grow too old quite quickly in that. And so there I was, too old, and I had to shift to the camera. And I I marketed myself because that's what I do. I got my first commercial, very tiny little commercial, right? Local. But I was a spokesperson and I turned and froze to the camera. Very much like what people are doing today. You know, you can be great in person, but then you gotta talk to this thing in front of you. And I could just, I remember the director, he just dropped his head and the whole crew is kind of looking at each other. And I'm thinking, okay. So that was my aha moment of well, I I have to do something here. I have to dig deep down, and I if I'm gonna survive in this. Because just like today in business, really people need to be on video. And for me back then, I had to be on film. I had to be if I was gonna continue my career as a model actress. Sure. So that was the first time where I dug down and I don't know how I did it, but the next take I said, we're go, and they were happy, and it went on to be award-winning. And I said, Okay, so I can do this. I got really cocky, thought I could do it alone. No, I went through several years of um thinking I didn't need any help, didn't get any jobs, and uh I finally got some help from somebody in the industry who knew how to do it, gave me secrets. We worked synergistically together, and I started, I got my first commercial, and that was a national went on for I got checks in my mail for like three years for that. Wow. Yeah, so that's why the better thing, and this is why I want to tell your audience right away, straight at the gate, I was resistant to video because I was a model, I was in person, and I couldn't talk in front of the camera, I got cocky, I thought I could do it myself, all right? Bad thing. So, what I see happening today for people is they have to now get on camera, they think they can do it themselves, but they struggle around with everything. And even today, people are needing to be the writer, the producer, the director, the camera person, the tech person, the crew, the grip. All I had to do was be a camera actress and get good at that. Right. So now I have to do it. We have to do it all. It's very, very, very complicated. I and and when I started, it was a very small industry. 35 years ago, back in the 80s, I knew all the people in the industry. And of course, I was in a smaller market, the California, North, Northern California was a smaller market than Southern California. But I became, I guess, a big fish. I don't know. Um I was on the SAG board and I taught for the conservatory. So, you know, I made my way up as har as high as I could get. Got films and stuff. But the main thing that I learned that I want to share with your audience is that it's really important to take this seriously, get good at it, and retain your credibility and be able to connect with people through this thing and learn how to do that because it's it's really important. And people the last thing I'll say is that people are not taking it seriously enough today, I think. And it's really hurting their credibility. And here's why I'll just tell you a story because it sums it all up. I signed up for some online software, spoke to the guy on the phone. He was the owner of the company, spoke to him on the phone. Great guy, he signed up. He did a live webinar on camera, totally offensive. His mouth noises came across as arrogant, his facial expressions, his body language. I canceled. I thought I do not want to deal with this guy. He lost his credibility with me. And so many people are doing that these days. So that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. That's and who I'm serving is women over 40 who are speakers, they're established offline. They're established offline, and they want to get online with a video and scale it. And they need help navigating all the parts. And that's what I do. Not only the camera, the tech, the writing, the um the um the midlife stuff. It's all that extra marketing, it's all the extra because I'm I'm in my 60s, so I need to be able to help them get through this midlife thing and not crash and burn like I did, which is what happened to me the last 20 years. Um, so why I'm doing this and why I'm helping those women is because as they start getting into their 50s and they're they're already busy, they're already busy. Now they have to take on this huge elephant of all these things to do while at the same time the energy is starting to decrease. So unconventionally, absolutely, and how can they take this on as a new thing on their to-do list? So I'm I'm creating midlife movie stars. That's why I'm an unconventional leader.
SPEAKER_00I love it. I was waiting for you to get that midlife movie stars and like me. Um right. So let's go back. I want to just talk about this controversial subject of people are losing their credibility because they are not developing the skills they need. Like, we all I've left my job, my nine to five, to be um online and in person entrepreneur. I'm a coach, I'm a podcaster, and we're launching YouTube. But so many people have lost their jobs. So many people have just pivoted, you know. We have the great resignation. So we have, and so many of them are women like me, right? I'm 55. So wow, for so for, oh thank you. Well, I was gonna say, you don't want you sooner than I thought she was. Um so many of us are dealing with the parents, and then I have a 13-year-old, right? So I'm a late mother, and right, so it's it's a sandwich. So there is all of that, and I did let my health go for a little while, but I'm getting that back on track. And the thing that I just can't even imagine doing is killing what little credibility I have online by doing something that has such low, and I don't mean value in now, I don't want to use the word value, that's not the word I'm looking for. Um, what is the word I'm looking for? Because it's not value. It's if it has really low um quality, is that the word? Is that I mean, because I think there's a lot of, and I get it, builder wings on the way down out there. There's a lot of figure it out as you go. And many of those things are true in your mindset, but a good leader is always going to figure out what they need, right?
SPEAKER_01Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly. And you have to think, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you have to think. I had a literary agent one time, or one of my literary agents told me, she said, you have to think like a reader. That's writing a book. You have to think like a reader. So I'm always thinking like a listener or uh a viewer. I'm always thinking about them. Always. What are they listening even right now? Am I answering their questions that they're asking? Who is this person? Why is it important that I listen? Why, why, you know, all these questions. Think like a reader.
SPEAKER_00Well, and you know, I say things and I hear podcasters say things. Now, listeners, or those of y'all who are listening, or I want to talk to my audience here for a second. And if you're only thinking about how it's looking for you, that's a completely different perspective, right? This is these are just all areas of personal growth, let alone professional growth. And because everything is accessible, I mean, I have a decent little camera on my computer. That is what I'm using right now. It is it's a Mac. I'm just gonna say they have a darn good HD camera. But you know, cameras are $40, microphones are cheap, but you can get all of this stuff. Anybody can do this, anybody can do a YouTube channel. And if you already have credibility established in one area, why would you want to ruin it by, you know, in this online area, which is global, quite frankly, why would you want to ruin it by not taking it seriously? So you look like you're ready to jump in.
SPEAKER_01I am because you bring up a point. It is exactly one of the things that I it's a little, it's not a pet peeve of mine, but it's definitely a problem. And here's why. You're expected to be an instant spokesperson and a writer and director and be good at this thing. And oh gosh, I have to now overcome all the society pressure of looking good because a woman plus over 50 becomes invisible, right? You start not getting the attention you used to get. As when a young woman walks in a room, you're not that young entrepreneur. Entrepreneur, you're not ingenue, yeah. Not the ingenue.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if I was ever really the ingenue, but I wasn't either. I was too old. Well, I mean, we all we all like to think that we're that ingenue, but very few of us really are. But you're right, it just we walk in a room and it's very different.
SPEAKER_01It is, and so we have not only the technical and all the stuff, the marketing online, we have these feelings as a woman. Oh, I am not one of them on TV. You see, in our generation, it was us and them, us and them. And I realized this back when I started, like I said, it was very small, and so when I had a TV commercial one time, I think it was back in the 90s, I had a TV commercial, I had not gotten the tape yet, so I just play the TV all day long waiting for the thing to play. And you know, oh, I know that person on that commercial, I know that person. Oh, I know that person, oh I know that person. And I thought, I'm one of those people on TV. And it hit me us and them, and we in this generation cannot be one of them. Yet, yet, here's what I was gonna say is now everyone's expected, we have phones in our pockets. Used to be when I wanted a reel for my acting, I had to go to a production company and pay tons of money. Now there was no iMovie back then, right? Right now it's so available to everyone. It's so oh, so when I got into it, there were gatekeepers, I had to learn the medium, I had to be invited in, I had to be good at it to stay in. There was a a definite I had to work hard. Yeah. Now, and I got training. I was trained inside the industry. Now people, here's my point. Now people have to do all of this without the industry training, without the proper everything that they need to do it well. And so, of course, they're having a hard time. Of course they are, it's not their fault.
SPEAKER_00Well, no, and my background way long ago was also back in the 80s. I graduated from college. I should have graduated in 88, but I graduated in 89 and I went to work for a record company in Los Angeles. So I'm familiar with the entertainment industry in Southern California, and that's another industry where you have to be invited in. And, you know, you it doesn't matter how many. I was in Nashville for college, and there were plenty of people who were trying to break into recording and production. And, you know, I took an admin job in order to get into a record company, and it it really is a cutthroat business. So I would love to go back. Let's talk a little bit about because this is now a leadership area for you, right? Um, the women I talk to on this podcast are all leaders in one way or another. And when you're a coach, you're a leader. When you're a teacher, you're a leader. And you teach women like yourself to do new and hard things. There are there are days when my brain just does not want to work, learn one more technical thing, right? And I'm yeah, and I'm sure that you run into that quite often. But let's go back and let's talk a little bit about the earlier days when you um when you kind of realized uh this is somewhere because the first person we lead is ourselves, right? We we have to, and you shared earlier. I tried to do it on my own, but then I realized I needed a little help. So maybe let's take you back and let's talk about that earliest leadership memory, maybe that you have something that you can look back now and say, I didn't realize it then, but that was me showing my leadership abilities. And maybe share that story with us. Do you have a memory like that?
SPEAKER_01I do, I do, I do, I do back in high school. I was older than most of the kids because uh my birthday is in December, so I had to wait an extra year to get in to school. You two?
SPEAKER_00No, my sister is a December baby, so I was the August 29th baby, and probably shouldn't say my birth date on I was an August baby, and I literally slid in one day under the cutoff. So I was the youngest person, and my sister was always the oldest person in her grade. So gotcha. And my son is a December baby, so yep. You understand.
SPEAKER_01So I was more mature and way taller in third grade, man. I was uh people thought I was a teacher in the pictures. Is that the teacher? No, that's me. Um, but what it did was in high school, I was the first one to get a car, I was the one that was more mature, I was the leader in high school. No, I wasn't uh like a president in school or anything, but I was the leader. And I I realized I got out and got a job, I made money. I made way back in the let me think about this. What year was this? Junior high. In junior high, I made $1,500 one summer. That was a lot. Wow, that is a lot.
SPEAKER_00That's a lot now.
SPEAKER_01It's a lot for now. And I made that. Um, my parents owned a commercial laundry. So what I did was, I mean, I worked really hard for that. Uh my husband always teases me about it. He says, How many shop towels did you fold for that $1,500? I say, Oh, I mean $10,000 of them because they were like a hundred for a penny or something. It was hard, it was really hard work. But but I realized at the time that I had something different, uh, internal persistence. I had a way of people just came to me and they always, and still there's something about leading from helping and and just listening. Listening, what are their problems? How can we solve this? How I love to strategize. So it's always been that even in high school, when the kids had my friends would have a problem, I would talk to them about it. I was the leader, I was the coach, I was the cheerleader, I was the one who I was the older one. I had the car. You know, I got the scholarship to college, I went to business college, I got straight A's. It was just like I was the one.
SPEAKER_00You kind of led the way.
SPEAKER_01I did. I did. And my friends, um, they saw me as that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, that's cool. Has that do you find that that has kind of stayed with you all these years? Or did you kind of have to look back at it?
SPEAKER_01I'll tell you what happens because that's actually I I think I tell this story in my book, but I'll just say it quickly. I had a success mindset up until about 42. I mean, anything I touched was gold, anything, anything. I marketed myself in my own business when I was starting at 19. Everything I touched was gold. It went downhill from there. You were 42.
SPEAKER_00What happened at 42? That's when I adopted my son. Was it 42? No, maybe it was 43. 42, maybe something like that. He's 13. So it's 42. Yeah, he's 13. Okay. Well, I that's my story. Let's get yours.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01I started having elderly parents. Oh, my parents were older. My mother was 35 when she had me. So um I really got sucked into the parent thing a lot. I don't have kids, so at least I wasn't doing the sandwich. But it really, I had business after business after business that they did okay. I mean, I real estate, I did things that were okay, but nothing. I mean, right now, if I hadn't had midlife going on, I would be a multi, multi, multi uh eight-figure millionaire easily.
SPEAKER_00Because of your drive.
SPEAKER_01Because of my drive, but I got sidetracked with midlife. Oh, my drive, and I was successful. Everything I touched was successful, and it was from that leadership mindset because I always believe I can, always. And that's what you have to think. You know, some people think they're stupid when they think they can. Well, I mean, maybe I don't know I can't. I that's why I'm saying I don't know I can't.
SPEAKER_00It's great. It's I don't know I can. Can we? I would never advocate messing with chromosomes, but that sounds like a really good one, right? It's like, let's pull out the can't chromosome and we're all good. Um I love that. So public disclaimer I don't really advocate messing with chromosomes. Okay. Um well, let's let's talk about that though, because I'm midlife, right? My I lost my mother to cancer five years ago, and my dad now has had heart issues. But there's a lot that happens. Happens to women between 40 and 60. And some of that is in the child area, and some of that is in the parent area. And I think that it's important to recognize our bodies. And that's why I adopted at 43. I went through menopause at 36. Oh my gosh. Right. So I went through early menopause. Yeah, I started, I was perimenopausal at 35. And so um, right. And it was, and you'll notice it was long, it was it was a good six or seven years, which is how menopause usually works. Um, but yeah, you're right. All these changes happen. So tell us what was the main thing? Because you said you lost that I can't, you lost the mindset of I can't fail, right? You and somehow, what was it that killed your confidence?
SPEAKER_01The failure after what I perceived as failure after failure after failure, it was my perception. Because it wasn't actually, I've just gone through four, five decades of paperwork. I've just gone through, I could find any piece of paper from 40, 50 years ago in a heartbeat because I'm a paper person, right? I've just gone through all of that because I'm moving and I'm purging everything. And um I just lost my thought. Ask me the question.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so you're doing this right now, you're purging things because you're moving, right? And you said that you um, because I asked you where you lost your confidence. That's it.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. I lost my confidence from the perception. Thank you. I lost my concept, I lost my confidence from the perception that I was a failure, but I wasn't really a failure. The reason I brought up the paper is because as I've gone through all this paper, I go, wow, I did that. Wow, I did that. That was amazing. That was so even though I was feeling like I was a failure, I wasn't. I made money in real estate, I I had a business, I was amazing. I mean, what I did was amazing. It was my perception and my drain of energy and the the constant saying, I'm a failure that didn't work the way I wanted it to work.
SPEAKER_00I think, yeah, that's where, yeah, I think that that's the really important thing is it all comes down to expectations. It's like we were headed for the same word. And so many times, disappointment is literally just an unmet expectation. And so when we go back and examine what our expectations actually are, we can see, you know, that really wasn't that bad. I just expected different from myself. Um, so let's go back and talk about this idea that we don't know what's best for ourselves and how that relates to our confidence and our ability to lead. Because if you don't know, if if you believe what they're telling you that you don't know what's best for yourself, you're automatically giving up your power. So, how are you leading in other areas?
SPEAKER_01Exactly, exactly. And I just got to chill when you said that, exactly. And so now you get down to the deeper problem of how it starts to wear away your confidence. And statistically, women over 50, 85 of women over actually 45, women over 45, 85 of those women say they don't have the confidence that they used to have. 85% of women who are over 45. Yeah. At least 15% of women who are either lying, they won't admit it, or they're in denial.
SPEAKER_00I gotta tell you, I'm one of the maybe one of those people who can tell you honestly that I have more confidence now than I ever did when I was younger. I was a really good, um, my husband says, You had me fooled. And I said, I know, I was so good at fooling people, but internally, I I mean, I ended up with an eating disorder and all kinds of stuff. I did not have the confidence that I needed. So I think there are maybe a few of us out there, but it's been a 35-year personal growth journey, right?
SPEAKER_01And you can get it back. And so, what I want to ask you to do, because I feel the same way now, I'm more confident than I was earlier in life, but there was that dip where I lost my confidence and I come back up. So, what did you do? I'm gonna be the interviewer here for the first time. Oh, you're gonna switch.
SPEAKER_00Um, so I I think um for me, I adopted late, right? So I was a mother. So I think honest to goodness, that's one of the things that both builds and kills your confidence. Nothing like having a uh very large nine-week-old baby placed in your arms that you didn't know you were going to get three days ago. And um, you know, and I I found that there were areas that really my confidence really got blown. But part of the part of keeping it from going too far down was the I the simple fact that I had already been on a journey for 20 years and I had already done a lot of work. I had already gone through depression and counseling and gastric bypass and all that kind of stuff. But I will say, in the last five years, really taking back control and saying, I hit 50. When I turned 50, my like six months later, my mother died. She finally lost her 15-year battle with breast cancer. And I said, you know what? I'm 50. There's no going back. I have only forward to go. And it's just time to really get to know me and really figure out what I need and where I need to be. So for me, it was a big birthday. It was the thing that um I said, I need to figure out my own personal growth system, which is how I came up with intentional optimism in the first place. But it was very seeking. And it's there's no end to the growth that will happen. And it is constant because it needs to be constant. And so when a woman tells me she had a big dip, it's I think it's interesting to see where we have them on our timeline and what caused them. So it sounds to me like yours might have been more, and I could be wrong, but yours might have been more that physical draining and losing of your own personal power and understanding and your confidence because of everything that was happening to you physically, along with everything else outside of you. In this area where you said, all right, I want to work with midlife women, I want to help them understand they can get their confidence back. And I'm gonna do it in this area that I have all this expertise in because of all the years that I've done this. When did that light bulb happen for you?
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, 20 plus years ago, interestingly enough, uh, when I had my own modeling and acting brick and mortar studio. You did? Oh, I did, yeah. I I taught for Screen Actors Guild, I taught for Academy of Art University, but I also had my my own place, my own studio where I was, you know, it was me. And um that was really great. But I had a midlife rejuvenation program at the time. And I just loved working with the mid. And I wasn't even into midlife yet. I mean, I was in my 40. I was starting 40. I was barely 40. And I really loved working with the midlife women because they had such amazing results. I remember one gal, Sally, I mean, she was amazing. She went to bed for two years. She hit menopause, went to bed for two years. She was a very successful dental office manager. She hit menopause, went to bed for two years, literally ate TV dinners for two years. She went to the doctor, doctor said she should be dead because of her test results. So we worked together and I just saw her blossoming because it wasn't just oh, I'm gonna be on camera and be whatever. It was our working together and synergistically understanding what she's going through and helping her with, because I'm a hypnotherapist and a salesperson, all these things about my background came to a culmination with her in particular. And she ended up going to an acting convention and placing, oh, so what we did was she pulled out her violin that she hadn't played in years, and she performed comedy, which she never did, you know, like Jack Benny. She do a thing and then she'd tell a joke. She played second. She performed in front of hundreds of people at this acting convention. She played second, and her life was picked up again. And she was like 50 something. It was a big deal. And you know, I mean, I can name people like that. The midlife people that I worked with had such, of course, the teenagers too, but there is a heart in me for the midlife women because they're so not listened to by society. And I'm not a feminist, I'm just saying when you look online, it's all these. Please don't take this wrong, but normally it's young.
SPEAKER_00No, this should be good then.
SPEAKER_01There might be a lot of beep, beep. You know, these there's these young bucks 30-year-old bucks, right? And they're saying, Oh, you gotta push yourself and you gotta do this, and you gotta level up and be a man. And I mean, you know, sometimes I just need to take a nap. And when I take a nap, when I'm pushing on something, there was a time that I was striving to get a webinar script out, couldn't do it, lay down for a nap. Like three hours later, I got up. But you know what? Boom! Wrote the webinar in 20 minutes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Some of it is knowing what you need.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And listening to yourself. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I think online people don't do that. It's like push, push, push, push, push, push, push. Well, you gotta do some things, but it's gotta be synergistically working for you to do it.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it's that connection, right? And what you described with your client, Sally, which that's always like that's the generic name people use when Sally does this. I'm thinking, I hope that was this woman's actual name. Um but it but when you describe the change in this person, well, that when you can see such a difference from before and after, that's the kind of stuff that gets you moving. That's the kind of stuff that helps you discover a passion. That's the kind of thing that that really just kind of lights your fire. I love watching people in the same way. As coaches, that's what we do, just in different genres and in different ways. So you went through this dip in your 40s and you already knew you had this passion. So, what turned it around? What was that point where you said, you know what, I'm going back to this? Or had you been doing it all along and I just didn't realize that?
SPEAKER_01Every time I said it to somebody, a mentor, here's the mistake I made, ladies. I listened to men.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, don't do that.
SPEAKER_01They'd say, I would talk to a marketer and I'd say, Well, this is the niche I want to go after. Oh no, that's too small. We can't find that.
SPEAKER_00Um, it would you can't find that, but that's not my problem.
SPEAKER_01So I finally thought, well, maybe I should go after the money. Should I go into corporations? I am a salesperson. I should just teach salespeople how to sell on camera, you know. And finally, I have to say, it was a young, I have to give credit to the young buck, 38-year-old Buck. Okay, young Buck guy. He said, you know, you really need to follow your passion. And that was like a year and a half ago or so. You know, and I finally just said, you know, I need to do this. Good for you. Thank you. Good for you. Well, because all these years I've been wanting to do it for women, but it kept having a wall up. And I said, you know what? I don't want to deal with men only because they don't speak my language. Um, when I did a Toastmasters, I was in the advanced Toastmasters group. I stood up there, I gave a presentation, and afterwards the men are like, oh man, that was really bad. What the heck did she say? And the women are like smacking them, you know, like, come on, you didn't get that. This is exactly what she said. And they're I don't think so. It's like, you are a man, I'm not speaking man, I'm speaking woman.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. As if there's, and so here's the thing: why do we have to apologize and say, I'm not really a feminist? Well, you know what? It's okay. I'm a feminist. And it's it's okay to say things like, I don't need to be listening to men all the time, right? It's it's okay. And part of what we need to learn in midlife as women is we can trust ourselves.
SPEAKER_01That's exactly the message, but we're told uh from society, sure, okay, and these are subconscious things that we're picking up in the acting world. You get to be 40. There are no jobs for women unless you're Judy Dentch or somebody very famous, okay? Um, or men, what it doesn't matter, there are probably 2500 points or jobs. There's probably a hundred jobs for men for one job for a woman under 40. Wow. All right. So it's a societal thing that if you are not in your prime as a woman, you're discarded. And I had an anti-aging um anti-wrinkle pill that worked from the inside out. Okay. I I produced it and it was not network marketing, it was my own label, and I did a lot of research on that. And it was like, you know, women really they get bumped into, they're not seen anymore, they just are not no. Oh, I didn't see you there. Oh, um, they're not treated, you know, and then somebody young walks in and they're just like, oh. So it's it's it's understanding how women feel is not disparaging men. It's just that women I find are not addressing this. I haven't found a lot of women talking about it, particularly in my niche, when you have to be on camera and feel good about yourself as a woman.
SPEAKER_00So when I first decided to be a coach, I said I want to work with women. And my and I feel very drawn to the midlife woman as well, partially because I am one. And I and for me, it's like pivoting to leave your job and to follow your passion and to lead in certain different ways and to do something that's not necessarily. I mean, I was in academic medicine, so there are very strict parameters, there are certain things that you can and cannot do. And the reality of women making 75 cents on the dollar for men is still very real. And yes, and uh throughout society, never mind, I promise you it's in the acting world. I promise you it is it's in every world or every sector. But to be able to work with women, I said, I want to do this and I want to help women. I wish I had somebody to help me, right? I wish I had had somebody to tell me these things 30 years ago or even 10 years ago. And we were having dinner with this couple that I love to death. And um he said, So you're telling me you wouldn't coach me? And I'm like, dude, you already have 10 steps on us, right? You already have society telling you all these things about how wonderful it is to be a man, and you already just automatically have a leadership position by virtue of who you are in this in this society. And it's not that I won't coach a man, it's that I really want to help women. And you know, there are men who listen to this podcast. Sometimes it's shared more by men than women, but at the same time, it is a it is a podcast for women. And my my dad stopped listening to it. He goes, I really don't get it. I'm like, no problem, that means it's not for you. And and but my husband does, right? He wants to know what I'm thinking, he wants to know what is going on, and to find the men who say, Hey, you really need to follow your passion, you really need to follow your dream, bravo, because it takes some looking. And if we don't have the community of women around us doing that for us, then a lot of times we have to find somebody just like hit or miss, constantly like putting it out there and just hoping somebody hits it back across the net. Yeah. So let's pivot into how you keep yourself going, right? Every person who is in leadership and every person who teaches or coaches or has a desire to grow each day usually has some kind of a leadership principle that they live by. And I'm always curious to know when I'm talking to someone what that principle might be. Do you have a principle you live by?
SPEAKER_01I am my own cheerleader. That's how I have to be my own leader. So one of the things, and this is a tip for your people, your girls, and the ladies on here. Uh it's amazing how many people take this tip and go, wow, that makes such a difference. So here's the thing uh our self-talk, and I'm not gonna be the average person that says, Oh, you gotta change your self-talk, right? I actually say, you know what? When you go to sleep at night, this is what I do. When I go to sleep at night, I say, and I've done this for probably a decade. I started doing it when I was in my business and having a hard time, and and started going downhill a lot of my my brick and mortar business. And at night, just as I'm going to sleep, I start saying, Okay, what did I do right today? What did I do right today? What did I do right today? Okay, well, I and I just named uh you know five things, turned into 10 things, turned into 20 things. But here's the thing: some people say, Oh, I can't find anything I did right. My my self-talk says, Wow, no, I did everything wrong today. I called myself stupid. I mean, there if you're saying stupid out loud, watch out because it's if it gets to your mouth, it's already been said 50 times, yeah. Already inside, right? Right. So if um so what I found when I started doing this exercise, and this is how I lead myself, I give myself a cheerleading. And when I started doing this, the very first few times that I did it, I actually felt my energy go from depressed to wow, I feel great. I feel like I can't go to sleep, but you know, but I love it.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, that's like doing jumping jacks right before going to bed.
SPEAKER_01Yes, but now I don't do that. I mean, now it doesn't have that effect because now I'm staying at that level. So here's my point. When I started it, I was down at a level of not feeling really energetically good about myself. And then I would say these things and I would say them out loud, well, this is what I did today. I brushed my teeth. Oh, I did this and I did that. What did I do right? And as I say these things, it's really starts bolstering my confidence up, really starts bolstering my confidence up. It's amazing energetically what an effect that has on me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, we talk about because my son has ADHD and we didn't really, I think we have it in our family, but we didn't know about it and it wasn't very pronounced. And but when you adopt a child, you don't really know what their genetic makeup is and what they're predisposed to. And, you know, I'm of the generation of children are seen and not heard, and that's how I was supposed to be, which is why I had so many problems because I'm always about being heard. And so that has the stigma all to itself in our as women. Yeah, oh yes, it does. I was told to be quiet many, many times. But um one of the things that we learned with ADHD is they're like 90% more likely to hear the word no than a neurotypical child. And so we had to learn to tell them what they're doing, tell him what he's doing right. We needed to learn how to tell him what to do rather than what to stop doing, and just switching those. We call them positive opposites. And I love this idea because so many people talk about positive self-talk and giving yourself affirmations. But what you're doing is a lot of times you're telling yourself brain, you're telling yourself things that your brain says, Yeah, but we didn't really, or yeah, but I don't really think that. Whereas what you're doing is literally saying, I brushed my teeth today, I got on the stationary bite today, I did these things today. So you it's positive affirmations while at the same time it's confirming evidence, right?
SPEAKER_01And it's doing one more thing to interrupt here. No, go in positive psychic in positive psychology, a positive brain thinks better, it's speed, it all the neural networks they start building up faster. You start actually neuroplasticity. You probably recognize that as a medical person. Okay, so neuroplasticity is basically that your brain, just like you can build a muscle in an arm, your brain is changing according to your thoughts. So if you're thinking strong thoughts, you start, you stop the um the highway of the negative highway, you you break off that connection with the neurotransmitters, you're breaking off that connection and you're starting to make a detour and build out a new neural connection in the right direction that you want to start. And so you're actually changing your brain by doing this exercise. That's the thing. It because it's like you're doing sit-ups for your brain. You make yourself more positive, you're going to start looking at the more positive, you're going to start feeling more positive, and you're going to stop saying you're building up new neural networks that are going to be supporting a new positive brain versus a negative brain. And that's why you want to do this exercise on a regular basis because you're actually doing situps for your brain.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. I mean, it's just like I went to college in Houston, and there's the famous mixed master and on the highway system. So when you come in, it's like looking at spaghetti from the air. And you can take any one of those. Or if you want to do it on a think about it on a smaller scale, you like you can get a roundabout or a traffic circle. And depending on how many exits you have, you get to choose. And I love this. Normally I say, well, what is the habit that you do? And I think you just gave me your principle and your habit, because I think that's really, really good. Um, before we shut everything down today and wrap everything up, one of the things we like to do is talk to our guests about things that people can look for in themselves, other women could look for in themselves as they transition maybe from what online or brick and mortar to online or as they do these things, um, maybe some green flags of, yep, I see that in myself. This looks like a good avenue for me to take. What kind of things should they look for if they're interested in doing the kinds of things that either you teach or you do?
SPEAKER_01If they really, really, really want to be scaling their business past their human energy limits, meaning desire, they really need to desire it. And that's what you're asking about. The the traits that they should have to move forward. Absolutely, yeah. They should have a very strong desire. If they just want to have a hobby business, then they should just stay offline because honestly, the online world is a really dog eat dog. I have to I have to say that. It is, you know, as I went through my business records from two decades ago, I thought, wow, this was so easy offline. You put an ad in here and you do this and you get referrals and you're in the phone book. Of course, that was 20 years ago, but you know, it's so easy offline. You get online and it gets very competitive. So if you just want a hobby business, you don't want to grow, I would say stay offline. But if you want to scale, you want to have more time freedom, you want to get out of the one-on-ones, and you want to do more group and you want to retain that credibility so that you're it's easier, not harder. I would say those would be traits. Also, a person who is willing to take a risk as far as um, you know, oh gosh, I'm out of transition, I want to take a risk, I want to not be comfortable anymore. I want to challenge myself. There you go.
SPEAKER_00Challenge. Challenge. Yeah, I'm in an online membership group for coaches myself. And by our names, we had some kind of a like descriptor. And my new descriptor is challenge acceptor. So I think I fall into that category. So let's say somebody says, I do have the desire and I am willing to take the risk, and I and because I know this is new and different, and I know I've got a lot to learn. What is at least one piece of advice that you would give someone on getting started?
SPEAKER_01All right. One piece of advice. I hate to have them actually look at themselves on camera because what the more you practice, the worse you so practice makes per permanent. A lot of people say practice makes perfect. Okay, but I say practice makes permanent. So I would actually say be careful about just throwing yourself on the camera. I would say instead of saying, okay, I've got to get on camera and forcing yourself, I would just think about what do I need? So what do you start? Where do you where do you start? Where do you start? Some people, the typical advice would be, oh, just get on camera and start talking, flip on your phone, do anything. You know, a good place to start is in that regard doing a live on Facebook. Some people don't know how to do that. All you have to do is go in and do a live and and all of a sudden people are chatting back with you. And because the because the what do you call it? The the quality is so low right now, the expectation is so low right now. You can't miss. It's hard to miss on a live. You know, you're not selling anything, you're not it's hard to miss on a live. So so when I say don't practice makes permanent and don't do it wrong, I'm saying be mindful of that. But at the same time, if you just do a live and you haven't done a live, that would be a start. Okay. If you have done a live, then I would say I would whether it's me or someone else, I would get some training. And not just confidence on camera thing. It's more than confidence. Here's what you need to do. You need to have confidence on camera, meaning you you want to bring your live personality to the screen. What does that mean? So many times I see people they're talking off camera, they're so they're I know people can't see me right now, but they're talking off camera, they're like themselves, they're and I've seen this for 20 plus years as a coach and a trainer, a producer, a director. Me, I've watched people, they're talking offline, and they might even be a speaker and toastmasters, they're just talking, talking. As soon as they call action, hi, I'm so happy to be here. What happened? And it can be very subtle.
SPEAKER_00I mean, so subtle, you know, somebody's talking to themselves, and then they go, Oh, um, hi, you know, and they start like we get super like happy and yeah, and I can attest to I've done all of this myself. I do not like I said at the very beginning, I'm like, oh no, this is an acting coach. Like, oh no, no, no, this is an acting coach, this is a camera coach. Let her talk, right? So I will say that a lot of people in like trying to get onto the digital world and in front of camera and that kind of thing. I always found lives to be more intimidating for some reason. I don't know why. Maybe it was because it was just there was no way to pull it back. Now you can, right? You can delete it, you know, that kind of thing. But I discovered Marco Polo, where I'm talking to a friendly face, my own, right? Where I'm talking to a friendly face, and I discovered that's how I could see the expressions that I was making. And then I had a very kind, I would say, colleague, say, Oh my gosh, when I get you on the phone, there's so much more energy than when you do your podcasts. And yeah, so so having so getting some help and some training, yeah. Well, let me address that. May I? Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay. I'm here to learn. Okay. So a lot of people say now remember, I'm an advanced teacher, so a lot I'm acting, bridging it into business. So when I give you advice, it's from a top-level thing, but you don't need to learn acting for 10 years to do it. Okay. All right. And I'm going to give you an example and then I'll tell you what I did. Okay. So I met a gal at a my mastermind, and it was a mastermind where we were all doing camera work. And I was there as a participant. I was not the coach. So, and there was all men, of course, it was all men, except for two women, me and another gal, young gal. She was so cute. She gets up there, does her spiel on camera. We were in a professional studio, and everyone just ripped into her. And uh, oh, you need more energy, you need to do this, you need, and I thought, oh, this is really bad advice. So many people now think that they know the advice. So I would say right now, be careful of the advice you get. Okay. Because it because what it does is it closes you up and it confuses you. So be careful of the advice you get. Just listen to the inner voice. Is it making you feel good? Is it making you feel confused? Is it closing you off? And it can be, I'm not telling you to learn acting, but so many acting people, coaches, close people down because it this is a very you need to create a safe environment in here to open up. Okay, so she was just okay. I couldn't watch it. I thought, man, I can I can't do this. I so I went out to the bathroom. They apparently told her to go back out in the hallway to um practice. I came out of the bathroom, as she is, and she's practicing. I go, you want you want some coaching, you want some help? Oh yeah. So I mean, literally in like two or three minutes, I said, Okay, you need to do this, this, this, and this. Practice, practice, practice. Okay, wash my hand, wash my hand, do this. I want you to talk to this person, I want you to do this, want you to do this. And literally, I said, Okay, go back in there, they're ready for you, go. And she just did it, and they go, that was what happened to this person. Yeah, it was night and day. So, so what I did with her was I taught her how to smile on camera, which you have to, it's different for everyone, but I had to work on my smile for a long time until I got that. You have to work on a smile on camera, the right kind of smile. Because some of you like some people like like this, you know? Yeah, it's terrible.
SPEAKER_00It's like my son when I say smile and he shows me the top and the bottom teeth, and like, don't smile that much.
SPEAKER_01I know. There's one girl, okay. They can't see what I'm doing right now, but there's one gun that teaches camera. She smiles like this all the time.
SPEAKER_00It looks like a I know, it looks like a uh ventriloquist, ventriloquist puppet. I have to tell you all that are not getting to see this on video. She's got the her lips are wide open, she's got this beautiful red lipstick on, and her teeth are all together, and it just it look she has beautiful teeth. It's there's nothing wrong with anything in this smile except for the fact that it does not look like a real person.
SPEAKER_01It just looks like a grimace. It's what it looks like a grimace. Okay. So anyway, I taught this girl how to smile the right way, and I said, Okay, I feel like this is the person, this is why I want to bring this up. People say, Oh, talk to a friend. All right. All right, as an actor, you cannot talk to a friend. You have to have a specific person who's right for the right for the message that you're the script. You have to talk to different people, you have to pull on who's inside of you. So what you're doing already is you are you are in you are leveraging an existing relationship with a person you already have. That's what they're saying when oh, just talk to a friend. But maybe your friend isn't the right choice for that message, meaning when you talk to your teenager, you might be clean up your room. Do you want to talk to your audience like that? Okay.
SPEAKER_00No, and if I talk to my if I talk to my teenager like that, it doesn't work very well either. But see, I get it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But we all have different here's the first thing they can do. And this is what I have a lot of my clients do listen to your tone and to who you're talking to. This listen to how you're talking to the different people in your life. Just listen to find out how you're talking to different people. Just listen. And it's awareness. Because then when you bring that to the camera, like when I talked to that gal, I said, I said, Do you have this particular um person in your life? Oh, okay, do you have this what kind of pet do you have? You know, I I just asked her questions and I came up with someone. I said, Okay, talk to me, talk to me. Okay, that's the one, shoot it out. And all of a sudden, you know, she's smiling and she's talking to this entity that I gave her, and it worked for her. It didn't work for her to talk to her boyfriend.
SPEAKER_00Um this is a lot of pieces of advice. This is really good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so you just so if you're starting out, two things. If you haven't done a live, you know what? When I had a challenge, uh I did a challenge a while ago, and it was surprising to me how many of the women had not done a live on Facebook. And after they did the live, they were like, Oh, I can do this. They had a fast win. Yeah, I can do it. Yeah, you know, okay. But that's what I did with that. I was caveat here. That's what I did with that commercial. I was I said, okay, I got cocky, and then I went downhill, and then my confidence went down. So first just do a live, get used to it. If you've already done a live, then I would start listening to your different tones that you talk to different people in, so that when you're talking with your message, you can start saying, Well, that does that feel right to that person, does that feel right to that person? And this is not to get in your head, but I'm not there to tell you who it is. Right. If I'm if I'm there, I can do it pretty quickly. Sure. But if you're doing it for yourself, you need to say, How's that feel? How's that look? Ask somebody advice who's safe.
SPEAKER_00Well, and somebody who knows, because what I heard in um, and this happens a lot in advice giving, and what I heard in your story about this young woman and all these people saying you need more energy. We don't always need more energy, right? It's like if you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So it you don't, it's not that you only need energy, it's that you need the right kind of energy. And they didn't, they knew she needed something, but they weren't sure what it was. So exactly.
SPEAKER_01And so this is the problem. You have you have hit the nail on the head now that we're talking about hammers. The problem is that, and this was what was happening in Toastmasters too for me. I didn't stay in Toastmasters very long because you have amateurs giving you amateur advice that confuses you. Right. I got so messed up when I was in there because they're telling me all these things, and I'm thinking I started spinning around. So you've got now in the camera world, oh yeah, I can tell people how to do this. Oh yeah, I'm a piece of kids, piece of gay. So now you've got all a plethora of people out there that don't have the experience, and they're maybe mean, even though they don't mean to be mean. Oh, have more energy, do this. They don't know how to direct.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I mean that's the problem. It's a wide open market, not just for those of us who are getting in to be on camera, but for those that for anybody training anybody else. So the best advice I'm hearing there is when you get your training, be careful who you get it from and make sure that they know what they're doing. So, in that respect, you are somebody who knows what you're doing. And we will put all of your Yeah. I play somebody who knows what I'm doing on camera. Um, I will never forget those commercials. I play a doctor on TV. Um, but where can people? We'll put all of your information in the show notes. Where is the best place for people to find you?
SPEAKER_01My website, Suzanne with a Z, S S U Z A N N E Glover, G-L-O-V-E-R dot com, Suzanne Glover.com. Or if they're on LinkedIn, it's uh LinkedIn.com forward slash N I N forward slash Suzanne Glover.
SPEAKER_00Excellent. And again, those links will be in the show notes. They've we've already captured them, they're ready to go. Okay, wonderful. Suzanne, the last thing we always ask is if there's one thing that you could be optimistic about, even when people think you're crazy, what would that one thing be?
SPEAKER_01That there's always tomorrow that can be different. For example, one day I was this was in midlife. I got rather suicidal one day because a lot of things weren't working. And I thought, oh, this is just why go on. And I actually knew women who committed suicide during midlife. And it was at that time. And you know, I just laid down and I thought I thought about it and I got up and I tried again and everything worked. And I thought, you know, if you just try again and give yourself another chance, that's what keeps me going. Because if I had really thought about some ending it all, it wouldn't have all gotten fixed just like that. The next, I don't know, two hours later. I've always remembered that. I've always thought, I've always thought there's still hope as long as you're breathing.
SPEAKER_00You know, I mean it's it's just incremental steps, right? And it that's actually it's really good to remember, you know, to just I love that that tomorrow can always be different. It doesn't, it's a it's a restart when the sun comes up, it's the sun breaks that horizon, you get a whole new restart every day.
SPEAKER_01Every day. It can be better and better and better. Even if you had a bad day today, tomorrow can be better. And you will be.
SPEAKER_00And you get to remind yourself of all the good things you actually did do. Suzanne, this has been a real pleasure. I have so enjoyed this conversation. Is there anything I forgot to ask? I don't think so. Okay, wonderful. Well, I am so glad we met. And I love to quote my my one of my favorites, Bob Goff, who says he only interviews his friends. And at first that just kind of threw me. I said, You must have a lot of great friends. And I realized, no, he makes friends with everybody that he interviews. So I am so happy to have you as a new friend, and I look forward to getting to know you better and potentially working with you in the future. Yes, thank you, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Thank you very much for this interview. That's been really nice.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. This conversation reminded me that it's really easy to fall into the same thinking patterns as our culture, even when we think we don't, or when we try not to. Suzanne brought up so many issues that women face as we head into midlife and later, most potently, how we seem to lose our voice, our power, and become invisible. But that's why she does her work. She's experienced that disempowerment, and she's had to fight to gain it back. So now she helps other women do the same thing, specifically through teaching confidence and professionalism in the online video space. Now, before I share my main takeaways, let me point out how Suzanne exemplifies the tenets of intentional optimism. As a reminder, I do this with every guest because we all live unique and different lives, and while what we do is different, intentional optimism is how we do what we do. It's the attitudes and mindsets that we employ and embody to live out our own goals and dreams with excellence. And we always start with optimistic. Suzanne has learned that even when you lose it, confidence is something that you can find again. I love that. She is a perfect example of how it just tanked and came right back up with all the work that she's done to gain it back. She's generous with her experience and expertise, which is evidence of her presence, and her industrious nature is a beautiful example of the tenet of energetic. Her description of her own drive to succeed is quite inspiring. She's courageous, she was the leader early on. She was taller, older, had a car first, but she was also willing to be the leader, which really makes a difference. And for wisdom, she sees and understands all the sides of what it's like to be a woman in midlife, and how that's different for each and every one of us, yet how similar and consistent the needs are to be seen and to be known. And she's intentional. She is 100% dedicated to a growth mindset, and she understands that as she learns, her experience grows, and she has the tools to nurture and change others. Suzanne is unconventional in her leadership because her passion to help midlife women become video influencers, as she calls them, is a reflection of her core values of empowerment, dedication, and excellence, which make her a great role model for empowering midlife women to take their lives back and become even more than they had dreamed. Unconventional leaders lead at every level in any area using their unique gifts. So let's get down to some actionable takeaways. Now, Suzanne's main audience is admittedly midlife women, especially women who are heading into their encore careers. And I know quite a few who are successfully pivoting into something totally new now that they've either retired or just had enough. Not sure if I qualify, but you know, hey. However, her advice is helpful to anyone who's learning to move their business into the online video space. She started out by reminding us that video is accessible to just about anyone today. We all have cameras in our pockets or our purse. The latest iPhone commercial literally depicts people making high-quality movies with their phones. And if you want to build an online following right now, you're just basically told, hey, just get in there and get comfortable on camera. Just make the mistakes and move on. And boy, do we. She points out that we have to jump into filmmaking, that whole industry of filmmaking, without any of the training that previously. Came from being in the film business. And there's no moving up the ranks or learning the ropes for this kind of work. I mean, nobody's gonna go be an intern in order to learn how to do video work on Facebook, right? So where do you find basic introduction to these principles of filmmaking? As a leader with any amount of self-awareness, you know when you need help. That's part of being an intentional optimist, right? In the tenet of energetic, knowing that you need to improve your skills and then the ability to do so is integral to that spirit of industry. The good news is that help is out there. And Suzanne is one of those people with the expertise that we need for that training. Her goal is to help women especially feel good in front of the camera. And guess what? It starts from the inside out. Before you ever learn working with the camera, you need to make sure that you're comfortable with you. Did you hear that statistic she shared? 85% of women over the age of 45 say they don't have the confidence they used to. Now, as heartbreaking as that statistic is, I doubt any of us is truly surprised by it. This was Suzanne's own story until she learned how to turn it around. Now, her personal leadership principle speaks directly to this. I love it. Be your own cheerleader. I'm a cheerleader, I've shared plenty about my cheerleader history, and I'm really good at it. And you might be too, but how often are we a good cheerleader for ourselves? We have to remember that we don't just cheer others on, we have to cheer ourselves on. Self-talk is active. Your energy can go up or down based exactly and specifically on what you say to yourself. Taking an active approach bolsters your confidence better than any Superwoman stance will, and it's going to create a positive environment for more confidence to grow. Here are two tips on how to do that based on Suzanne's daily habits. First is using positive opposites. So instead of telling yourself everything that you're not going to do or everything that's wrong with a situation, determine what you are going to do and what is redeemable in each circumstance. This will teach you to start looking for the positive and your brain will eventually start pointing them out to you. Next, find what we call confirming evidence. Suzanne spends the last few minutes of her day, literally as she's falling asleep, listing out all the things that she did right that day. She starts with five things and she increases it as much as she can. I don't know how she does that. I would, I'm not sure how I would fall asleep doing that, but this is what she does every single day, and she says it really makes a difference for her. Now, once you get to work on your confidence, here are Suzanne's green flags for pursuing an online video presence for your business. You do need to determine what your true desire is for your business. If it's just a hobby, stay offline. Just build your business the old-fashioned local way. But if you truly want to scale, to have more time freedom, or to get out of one-on-one work and start a group program or increase your credibility and you're willing to take some risks, then online video work could be for you. And if that's you, here's her advice for how to actually get started. Number one, get some good training and be careful how you start. You know, in the personal growth space, we talk about practice making progress because we always want to talk about the journey. But in the acting world, practice makes perfect. So you need to be practicing the right thing. Suzanne suggested that the best place to start is with a live. Facebook is the easiest, but there's also Instagram and LinkedIn, depending on your business market. It's an easy, fast win. And it's hard to have a miss here because expectations are low. Trust me. I've seen some of the ones that are out there. But then getting good acting training is really important. She said getting good at camera work is more than just building your confidence. It's also more than speaking. Speaking skills are different than acting skills. Not everyone offering advice knows exactly what you need. So when you're on the receiving end, make sure you ask yourself how this resonates with your inner voice. Now, if you're not able to hire a coach or pay for a program, here are three specific things that you can work on on your own right now. First, learn to smile on camera. Practice what works for you. Go back and find some old photos or casual videos where your smile is natural and effortless. Then practice recreating it. I personally sit in front of my computer and use photo booth to take quick shots every time I record a video. I take practice videos and stills so that I always have thumbnail photos that will give my video a more polished appearance. I have a Bluetooth remote that works with my iPhone. And whenever I'm doing a recording, I'll take a shot with that as well. It's amazing how effective playing around in front of the camera can be at helping you figure out what really looks the most natural and real for you. And when you're doing it by yourself, I'm not sure about you, but I feel a whole lot less self-conscious. So give it a shot. Number two, talk to a specific person. She gave some great examples, but I think that just remembering that the person that you're talking to is the recipient of your message, picturing them in your mind, leveraging an existing relationship with a person you already know can be very effective and put you at ease. But the best way to figure that out is she said, listen to your tone as you interact with people each day. When you think about how you talk to your boss or your dog or your child or your mom or the lady at the grocery store, awareness of how you speak differently will really make a difference and it will give you all the valuable information you need for when you talk on camera. And number three, think like a listener, reader, or viewer. It's amazing how different things sound inside your head than when they come out. Put yourself in the place of your audience and ask if what they hear is what you intended to communicate. This one could end up being the most important, so don't forget it. To learn more about or how to work with Suzanne, check out her website, suzanglover.com. You of course will find everything you need in the show notes, and don't forget to tell her that you heard about her here on the Intentional Optimist podcast. Now, if you heard yourself in Suzanne's story and you're ready to start taking back your own power, whether it's to be in business online or not, I have an opportunity for you. You need the support of a community where you can dream, grow, experiment, and explore with group coaching, teaching, encouragement, and gentle accountability. Launch from the Beach will help you discover and build you so that you can build your life and your business. Hop on my calendar for a 30-minute consultation and let's get this strategy for you in place. Until next time. This helps others find us and will have an even bigger impact. If you're curious what it would be like to work more closely with me, or to step up as an unconventional leader yourself, schedule a free discovery session and we'll chat. But maybe you're an entrepreneur looking for a support team. I'd like to personally invite you into my collaborative community, Launch from the Beach. It could be just what you're looking for. All of my contact information and all the links are included in the show notes. And don't forget, you can always connect with other intentional optimists in our Facebook community. You can follow my Facebook or Instagram page, or even connect with me on LinkedIn. Additionally, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter, Optimistic Living. It's good stuff delivered straight to your inbox on a not so strict schedule, but always from the heart. Remember, unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations. Until next time.
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