Unlocking Your Style Confidence: A Conversation with Image Coach Melanie Lippmann

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your wardrobe or struggle to feel confident in your own style? Join us for an inspiring conversation with image coach Melanie Lippmann, as she shares her journey through the fashion industry and her mission to help others understand the math and science of style. Learn how to trust yourself, dress intentionally, and embrace your unique look with confidence.

Melanie's story takes us from her family's accessory store to the corporate world and eventually the fashion industry, where she discovered her passion for empowering women of all shapes and sizes. Dive into the importance of personal development through styling, the challenges of valuing time and money spent on yourself, and how personal styling is so much more than just clothes. Melanie also shares her own style playbook and the concept of dressing with intention and confidence.

Finally, explore how trends can help you re-explore your style and develop your own unique look. Melanie encourages us to become intentional optimists, noticing patterns in how we dress and shop with intention. Discover the power of rituals when it comes to finding and maintaining your personal style, and the value of embracing curiosity in your fashion journey. Don't miss this enlightening and empowering conversation with Melanie Lippmann!

Leadership Principle: 

Scarcity - it’s what’s holding you back!

Habits to help you stay balanced as a leader:

• Keep a pretty “Editing Basket” within easy reach. 
• Wear Color! There ARE NO fashion police… 
• Get dressed EVERY DAY… you need practice and know what you have… dress with intention, even if you’re not seeing anyone…

Green Flags to help you determine if you’re ready to make changes: 

• Notice when you’re not doing something - taking an invitation, planning things, etc. 
• Notice where you’re getting stuck - we all have patterns! 
• What do we not want to do? How can I do this with more intention?

Advice for starting your own journey:

• Take a look at when you’re shopping & why.
• Get everything out of your closet, then group your clothes by color - so you can see what you have! Organize it the way it makes sense to you!
• HAVE FUN & BE CURIOUS!

Where to find Melanie:
Website:  Melanie Lippman
Instagram:  @melanielippman
LinkedIn:  Melanie Lippman

SPECIAL PROMOTION - http://bit.ly/5outfitmistakes

Learn more about Andrea:

Get involved here! 

Please leave us a rating and review!

Apple: just scroll to the bottom, choose a rating and write a review.

Podchaser (Android): you can go to this link here and leave a rating and review! https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/intentional-optimists-unconven-1406762 

Noom: A Mindful Way to Eat
Learn how to intentionally challenge your mindset in order to take control of your health.

Skillshare: Spark your creativity.
Get 40% Off Annual Membership

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Andrea Johnson: 0:02

You're listening to Intentional Optimists, the podcast for unconventional leaders, where you'll find inspiration, learn to discover and develop your own strengths and hear from inspiring women just like you who are making a difference in their community. Who knows, you just might find yourself stepping up as the next unconventional leader, right where you are. I'm your host, Andrea Johnson, the original Intentional Optimist. I just love meeting other women whose mission to help others today is based on what they had to learn themselves, kind of like me. Today's guest, Melanie Lippmann, is exactly that. She was born with a fashion gene. You see, her parents own an accessory store in New York and she was raised in that culture of understanding what it means to look like you're put together and confident in your clothes. But now she's an image consultant and coach. And boy does she get it.

Andrea Johnson: 1:01

If you struggle at all to find something in your closet, then this conversation is for you, my friend, and bonus points if you're under 5 feet 2 inches, like we are. You see, we dive into her story of that light bulb moment when her boss actually asked her hey, what's going on here? Why don't you just be a little more you? And that was when the image consultant, Melanie was born. Be prepared to head into your closet with a whole new mission. Here's my wonderful conversation with my new friend, Melanie Lippmann. Hey, Melanie, welcome to the show.

Melanie Lippman: 1:38

Thanks for having me.

Andrea Johnson: 1:40

I follow you on Instagram and I'm excited about this particular conversation. But for those who may not know you yet because I know they're going to want to go follow you and know you well give us a little brief bio, a little bit about who you are and what you do and who you serve.

Melanie Lippman: 1:56

Absolutely So. I am an image coach. I started out being a personal stylist and personal shopper What most people think is your solution to feeling great in your clothes. But when I was doing that for years, one thing that kept happening was my clients would keep coming back to me, which is great. But they kept coming back to me for validation, asking me the same questions over and over again, and they weren't wearing the amazing outfits that we put together, and so I was kind of having this internal struggle, like I'm doing this work you know, I'm bad at my job here And I, through my own self coaching and all of that, I realized that I was giving people a solution.

Melanie Lippman: 2:46

That was my solution, not their solution to getting dressed. So we all think that we want amazing outfits in our closet and we all think that either we should go hire a personal stylist, hire a personal shopper, use a subscription box, do this thing because the expert is going to tell us what to wear, and it doesn't work, because my clients are high, achieving the most intelligent women in the world, and they're extremely analytical And they love rules and facts and they are not going to trust the crazy girl from New York to say this is what you need to wear to feel confident. It needs to be something much deeper, so it needs to come from inside them. So what I help my clients with is really learn to trust themselves to get dressed. So it is through 50% through strategy, through information, through teaching to really understand what works for them, because getting dressed is just math and science, that's all it is. So it's perfect actually for the analytical person.

Melanie Lippman: 3:50

It's just knowing your own roles and not getting into overwhelm, but then also knowing how to tap into actually what makes you feel confident, as opposed to scrolling through Instagram and looking at what everyone else is wearing and thinking that their solution is yours because it's not. So that also comes with a little bit of mindset work, because some 10-year-old selves were dressing those people, knowing what's going on inside our head, I know for myself. I've always had some body image issues. So having just a system and a strategy to make getting dressed and feeling confident in your clothes easy, so your wardrobe will always support you and never have that confidence, that kind of bump in the road that will set you off your path, because as women, our life shifts, our body shifts and all of that we just want our wardrobe to always support us, as opposed to okay, I'm going through powering menopause, let me call my stylist so she can help you out to wear now. So it's really about giving the full, long-term solution, as opposed to keep going and asking someone what to wear.

Andrea Johnson: 4:49

Yeah, oh, my gosh, it's like you hear me giggling in the background. It's like yep, yep, yep, yep. And I have the added. I don't know if you know what this is about me, but I have the added aspect of I'm a gastric bypass patient. So I have. I had a boss once who said those are your battle scars, girl. And I'm like I know, but it's like all the skin and that kind of stuff. But the whole idea that my body shifts, even if I go up or down 10 pounds, it's like it's not the same thing, it's not the same shape, and that is just so true and it speaks to us so well.

Melanie Lippman: 5:23

It just puts you in the driver's seat, as opposed to, as women, we go hide. Because, unfortunately, when ends up happening and this happens so much with my clients is we look at our least favorite part of our body and we judge our outfit on that. We're known as staring at that constantly. You're just doing it. So what I love teaching my clients is that stress our whole body. Let's learn how to put together a balanced, proportional outfit. So you're not because you're going to war each morning because you don't feel great. You probably make some great choices. That's why he gains a little bit of weight or something's going on with your hormones. So, as opposed to being stuck on stock, it's like okay. What are the two or three things I could focus on So I can show this thing? Because unfortunately, if you don't feel good in your clothes, you're not playing full out when you're showing up to the thing.

Melanie Lippman: 6:08

And that's what most people don't realize. It's more than clothes. It's closer and extension of our identity. So it's being able to use the clothes to send the message to the world and to ourselves that we want to send out there As opposed to. It's just this thing that happened. I kind of didn't do it so great, and then you kind of go up in the corner hiding the whole entire time.

Andrea Johnson: 6:28

Well, and I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about this other person that's tangentially related to her life, like an involved in her life, and she's like I don't understand how you, you don't have your own internal values. I'm like, well, that's because you do, you know, and, as a coach who works with people on their values, is like it's very clear to me this person has no inner, they have not tapped into their inner compass And I think it's a little bit about what you do, but I love the fact that you are literally in your bio. It says defining their personal brand, making them more confident, memorable and respected as the leader they are. Now we're in the same space.

Melanie Lippman: 7:06

Right.

Andrea Johnson: 7:08

And because I love talking to women, who I consider to be unconventional leaders. You're not doing it the same way Because everybody else says you need a stylist. Everybody else says you need to do it the way it's supposed to be. And here's the pear shape, and here's the rectangle shape, and here follow these rules and you're fine, right, and you do something a little bit different and you meet women where they are and help them do all that. So I'm really I love that.

Melanie Lippman: 7:34

Yeah.

Melanie Lippman: 7:35

And it's in what I think one of the biggest challenges is because we need to show up, like in. That's like. The thing is that people are they kick the can down the road and they kick the can down the road, and we all do it Like I don't have enough time. This would be easier if and it's really just about what are the one or two things because a smart, intelligent woman, what we do is we collect information, right, like that, we can things, we rip things, we we have things all over our house and it's almost like you're drowning in the knowledge. What are the one or two things that you could take and implement in your life today?

Melanie Lippman: 8:12

So, it feels like you're in momentum.

Andrea Johnson: 8:14

I love that And for those of you listening thinking, okay, when she can dive into all this stuff, well, there's going to be. She's going to come on our guest speaker series and give us an actual 30 minute live. So you're going to want to tune into that because and if you haven't subscribed, you can just subscribe to the YouTube channel and get it all they're all there, but today we're going to find out how she got where she is, because this is a major thing for you to be able to say it's not that, and even just your journey from a stylist to a coach and helping other women figured out what was the main thing, that, like, really was the tipping point for you, that that you now are fueled by kind of as your why.

Melanie Lippman: 8:54

Absolutely So I. We look back to my childhood. That's where it all begins, right, whoa? I was what my clients call born with a fashion gene. So I grew up my family owns an accessory store. I loved fashion magazines.

Melanie Lippman: 9:09

I quickly, very quickly, realized, working in my family's accessory store, that if a woman felt good in her clothes, she would do anything. If she didn't, she would make an excuse to not go, and it's something that I always carried with me. But while I was obsessed with fashion, i studied fashion even in high school. I took college courses, i went to the fashion Institute of Technology for four years and then ended up working in the jewelry industry. So I worked for a huge designer that we sold product in like Neiman Marcus, bredor, sax, harrods, and I remember being like probably what it was. I was 25 years old And I had this big job and I walked in and I was the youngest person in the room, the shortest person in the room I'm 5'1. And probably I find you people I have a lot of people. It's like little personality And also majority of the people that are making women's clothing jewelry decisions are men with white hair.

Melanie Lippman: 10:20

So I started putting this armor on, thinking that if I was selling 20, $30,000 bracelets like ridiculously expensive jewelry to Harrods and all of these places, and I thought that I needed to wear Chanel shoes and have lubitons and have all of these things to make me feel serious and make me feel like I deserved to have a seat at the table. And I remember one day having a conversation with the CEO of my company and she gave me this like little kind of off-handed remark And you know those are the ones that always really stick with us is what's going on here, like you're dressing differently, you're acting differently. Why don't you just be more you? And it was kind of like so in passing, but I remember walking out of her office and saying, oh, who am I? It's every single decision, every single thought I actually had up until that point was really not my own. It was what you know, whether it was getting dressed, it was what was trendy, what was in, it was political views, were my parents, it was values were kind of my religion and my parents and all of that stuff.

Melanie Lippman: 11:27

And I kind of remember it was like a Friday, that whole weekend, pondering that question. Like you know, i was living, like with romance, like what's this war? like, yeah, at some moment, like what am I doing here and what's my purpose? And especially with my wardrobe, because I was in debt, like, i was like and I constantly, every single time, i do what my clients do, you know, did before they work with me. Every single time there was a trade show, every time there was a meeting, i would go to shop Like I would. It was just this roller coaster that I was on and it was I hate my clothes, i love my clothes. I hate my clothes, i love my clothes, i hate my body, i love my body, like ooh, sort of thing. And so that weekend I kind of sat with myself and went back to good old mom's advice of, oh, what works on you, cause I hated it when I was growing up, my mom being like you're five feet in curvy, you can't wear that. And I'm like, yes, i can, and that's not a good color for you. So I'm like you know what they're at, i know this.

Melanie Lippman: 12:26

I went to design school, like what actually flatters me, and so what I did was I took that information along with my own personality and the message and the values that I wanted to put out there And I created unbeknownst to me, i didn't really realize it as it was happening is my own style burn playbook. So just like how Target and Coca-Cola and all the big companies, they don't go and say to someone hey, what color red do I use and what font do I use, and the decisions made for you in advance. So I was like you know what? I'm going on some trips, i have all of these meetings. What am I wearing? And I created this. These are the colors I wear. These are the shapes that I wear.

Melanie Lippman: 13:09

I've spent so much money at Zara and H&M buying fast fashion like stop buying stuff. This is what flatters you. Stop trying to make your body do something that it's not. And I just really sat there and I figured out what works for me and what doesn't. So when I had to go on a trip or when I had a meeting, i just knew what to put on And it was so empowering and actually so liberating that I got to say I don't care if it's in, it's never gonna look good on me. And it didn't become about me anymore. It used to be about me. There was something wrong with my body because the trends didn't work on me And it's something I stuck with for years and years and years.

Melanie Lippman: 13:50

And then when I left corporate world the corporate world because I had my son, literally it was in Paris Fashion Week and he was about to take his first steps And I went back to school and got a degree in image consultation and color consultation to really be able to teach women of every single shape, color, socioeconomic status how to find their own personal brand playbook. So it's just super. It's very, very liberating. But of course, when you go to quote unquote stylist image consulting school, they go and teach you how to be a personal stylist and a personal shopper. So I thought that was the only way to go work with clients. So I went and did industry standard the thing And that's when I came to that realization that me telling people what works for them it's great and all they're happy to have the information. But I can't undo the 30 years, 40 years of what has become habits without showing them and having the team be their idea instead of my idea.

Andrea Johnson: 14:53

So I normally ask people what their biggest leadership memory is, but I think you just shared it because that's in my mind. That's kind of you became. For somebody to say to you what's going on here, you just need to be a little more you. That is huge. What a mentor, right? Even if there was nothing else this person did for you, And it was. Devil wears Prada the whole time, except for that question.

Melanie Lippman: 15:21

It's so interesting because, while in the situation I mean we all have had this like she was a powerhouse and was scared like on all of the things, but looking back and my mom was like there, that was your MBA, right there. Yeah, like all of it, the whole aspect of it, even the trust in me, like who else was gonna put a 25 year olds out of play into the UK and say, go open Harrods? Only this one.

Andrea Johnson: 15:53

Holy cow. And so then, for you to be able to realize at one point or another hey, all of these things that I've been taught to do, they're still not it And I have to break out and do something different. I have to lead in a whole different way. It's beautiful, And I love it, that you got the information, you got the degree, you did just exactly what you say your clients do. You collected all that information, but then you did. What I say to this is what I do with my clients is I help them take that information and think critically. Right, Taking the information and think critically about it.

Andrea Johnson: 16:30

We have very similar stories, It's least. You know. No, I was not born with a fashion gene. My parents were missionaries. So, no, not gonna happen. However, our similar stories are, I always did what I was told to do. I had the same viewpoints, I had the same political views, I had the same. I believed everything in the same religion, all of that. But to learn how to I don't know what you or I kept from all of that, but to be able to say I am my own person, this is how it's going to be from here on out, And I'm gonna teach other women to do that. It's like that's a leader.

Melanie Lippman: 17:06

That's a leader.

Andrea Johnson: 17:07

So I'm excited. Thank you for sharing that. That's really really good, because I usually ask too, and you kind of shared a little bit of it but the road that you are traveling now, how did you know that you really wanted to be a coach and did you get any other training for that? Yes, So I was my mom always listened to Tony Robbins on like in the car, okay, and you know whatever.

Melanie Lippman: 17:33

But it only kind of went that far. And I think even now my mom is kind of like with that coaching stuff that you do, when I start getting a little bit like you know, cause we all have our money mindset story and all the stuff, when I start trying to have conversations, I have a friend who says don't coach me right now, right Oh okay, i'm good.

Melanie Lippman: 17:54

I remember my mom reading the secret and then like throwing it to the past side and being like that's weird. Sometimes you're like this is your secret stuff, right, so but so I always kind of knew of coaching and it and I was very curious and I, you know, was very into that was one of the things that when I would be on those long trips to the UK, always go into the bookstore the airport and buy one of those books that was going to change my life on the plane, oh yeah.

Andrea Johnson: 18:24

We all want that quick fix. It's like right, exactly answer.

Melanie Lippman: 18:27

You know, oh, this is going to go triple my order on the plane because of this book, and so I was very intrigued by, by the idea of the information, obviously, and I, right before the pandemic, i actually did sign up for Tony Robbins, dean grassy, ono thing that they were offering and I was, you know. It spoke to me and it also gave me some some ideas of how to, how to get on this journey to actually take my personal styling business into a more personal development business. And then, i think, covid happen And I really found coaching for myself, because people that were, you know, people that were sort of mentors or guides for me, actually stepped into well, i'm going to coach you now and they were doing it for free, because they were, they were becoming a life partner, whatever it was that was need their hours.

Melanie Lippman: 19:22

I've been exactly hours one yesterday, and so then I started tiptoeing into coaching and being super curious about it, and then I did two different coaching programs and right now I'm in the process and pretty much at the end of a neuro coaching training certification. Okay so, because what I realized through my work is it's so much more than close, and I think that's how my clients 50% of this work will be about close, but 50% about it's going to be about mindset, because you can't just put something else on and think you're a different person, and that's what's kind of wrong with the fashion industry, right? They keep telling us that if you buy this thing, you're going to all of a sudden appear on a yacht like an.

Andrea Johnson: 20:11

Instagram does right like you buy.

Melanie Lippman: 20:14

I got my linen on today right, right Sort of thing, but it's really about again helping people trust themselves and also really understanding what are the things that are getting in there, getting in the way, because with close there's a lot of other things it comes up Yes, what you're wearing, but it's investing in yourself, it's spending the time, it's professional and personal development, but there's a lot of. I get a lot of provision based questions. I get a lot of scarcity based questions when it comes to editing your videos, because they're actually wearing the clothes. You know how many women I work with are like I have this amazing outfit and then they put it on a pedestal and they don't actually put it on sweet things.

Melanie Lippman: 20:56

There's so much. And then there's accepting a compliment. So, each person, there's a nuance to it. So the way that my program I work is set up is to give you the information and give you the knowledge and get a meaning the personize thing, but it also will kind of open your eyes to get curious about. Well, this could be the thing that is either triggering me getting in my way or do I need a little bit more support with because there's a reason like getting dressed is so hard.

Andrea Johnson: 21:26

That's not. You know, yeah, and I'd love to go back just a little bit because you know you said you're born with a fashion gene, but you're also. I was five to for a really long time until I just couldn't deny it anymore and I'm like five one and a half, so maybe I have a hatchet half inch and I'm like I'm the older I get, the shorter I get and other shifts happening. So, talking about accepting your body for being petite and curvy and being able to work through some of that, i'm sure that work has also informed the work that you do. Can you tell us a little bit of that story, because there are plenty of us out there who look at these five foot 11 models in these gorgeous polozoes and think I want to wear that and then put it on and go wait what?

Andrea Johnson: 22:18

and you know I have a friend who's like why are you doing this? So how did you kind of work through some of that of your own mindset work?

Melanie Lippman: 22:26

Well, I, you know, I'm 40. So I'm of the generation of binging, and maybe it was myself, but a lot of the women that I speak with were binging all of those magazines I'm 17, Cosmo, and every single message in there was how to look taller and how to look thinner.

Melanie Lippman: 22:46

So even if we didn't want to look taller, we thought we should Yeah, not super healthy and also have the generation of like the diet culture. So it was kind of like, just like you kind of knew smoking was bad for you when I was born. Then you found out smoking was bad for you. So instead of smoking, you ate, diet. You drank Diet Coke and ate tab, and then drink tab and like when I'm Jenny Craig, and eight microwave meals and all of that stuff.

Melanie Lippman: 23:13

So a lot of what was being shown around me was not the best body image issues And also this concept of when you like your body, you go and buy nice clothes, when you don't, you go and shop on the cell rock, you buy the bandaid until it comes And I did that for years that I would buy a beautiful outfit that basically I could wear once because I only was able to fit in it because a diet, pills, like, like and I and I relate the working with a stylist to like a fad diet Okay, so you get the fix, but it's not, it's not longevity.

Melanie Lippman: 23:50

So there was, you know, a lot of kind of being like and I remember when I married my husband He was like not understanding and his mom is very much the culture of what I grew up with, but in his mind he was a man, didn't make sense. He's like what's up with a diet? So I don't you just like eat well and work out and like when you want to eat something, eat it, as opposed to putting on a pedestal and I was like sounds really simple.

Andrea Johnson: 24:17

Oh the logic.

Melanie Lippman: 24:20

It's such a concept I know And it was. And, by the way, i still struggle, like I still there's things like yesterday I was looking at a pair of pants and I'm like, but it's actually having this, having the tools to know what works and doesn't work, because I feel what ends up is a lot of women bring a lot of stuff into the fitting room or they end up ordering a lot of things that never would flatter them And then they get mad at themselves and they beat themselves up and then they say is stay stuck in, good enough, i close in my closet, or that bad like this is horrible. I don't want to go through this, i don't want. Nothing works for me. And then they get stuck in that loop of I can't wear nice clothes, like I literally had a call with a client yesterday and she is five to and she's like well, i've just decided that it, you know, dressing nice is just not meant for me because I'm five to my feeler.

Andrea Johnson: 25:18

I mean I just know, I mean I understand what that's like to be in that money.

Melanie Lippman: 25:21

I mean like it's. It's, it's we all, because what's shown to us on social media of what's beautiful and what's accepted is not us.

Melanie Lippman: 25:30

No at all. It's not most women, it's not 90% of the population So, but we're looking for them for inspiration. So it's not real of I want that outfit. That outfit, by the way, i've been on plenty of photo shoots. It doesn't fit her. Either It's open in the back, or there's pins, or there's clips, or it's airbrushed like as well. So what I love providing clients with, what are the few things that you need to focus on so you can actually feel like you're in the driver seat and feel good at getting, because that's what my shift was when my, when my, when my boss said that to me is I was trialing, and ever in everything I think I remember literally buying that Chanel bag and being like, with this bag, i'll meet my husband. Oh yeah, of course I'm making me my husband.

Andrea Johnson: 26:26

By the way I was wearing.

Melanie Lippman: 26:27

What I met him But we put like that much sometimes, or this diet pill or this diet or this thing is going to, this material object is going to change, because that's what advertising has done for us Yeah is that this thing will be the change. And once I actually learns, like you know what this is, actually what's works for me, so I want more of it because I actually what I need, what I do with my clients. They come into the work with me a little like questioning, because they don't 100% trust themselves and they don't 100% trust me. Like from the internet it's not like. I see maybe now 1% of clients in person. They're very skeptical And what I quickly do is prove to them that they can do it.

Melanie Lippman: 27:14

Yeah, and once they have that dopamine head of like I can be good at this then they'll do anything and they'll try anything. Then they're enjoying the curiosity as opposed to being afraid of it. I love that It's. It's just then thinking about getting dressed as trial and error and this is fun as opposed to if I get this wrong, i'm going to have cake on my face, because that's what women think. That's why we stick to black. That's why we don't try a print. That's why we stick to our old clothes and don't try something new. No one wants to be caught doing the wrong thing. So when I show them that we have a little bit more fun experimentation this is easy and I could be good at it Then that's when I I love it. I love it.

Andrea Johnson: 27:56

I love it, enjoy the curiosity rather than being afraid of it. It's okay, right? Because we think that doing the mail, order the box you know that comes with a stylist. It's like, well, i'm going to try new things, and then it's like they sent me this, i should try it and I should, oh, but I don't, i don't know, and it's just really hard to step away from that. So I really appreciate that this is the message that's going out, and I wish it could be shouted right from the rooftops. So if you had one because you work with women and you're helping them be leaders if you had one leadership principle that kind of helps you continue to stay in this space. What is the one principle by which you do all your work and live?

Melanie Lippman: 28:37

Get rid of scarcity. So I tell my clients constantly, myself constantly, like what's the one thing that you're holding on to that's holding you back? Like because it happens a lot with our closet. So we hold on to stuff that was a past version of ourselves whether it was from like middle of marriage and old relationship because in our head we kind of were like, well, maybe one day it'll fit. I have one of those, right, you don't have to get rid of them. But I see you just get it out of your closet.

Melanie Lippman: 29:10

Like why are you doing that to yourself each day? Like maybe you know, maybe one day it will fit, or maybe one day like you'll be invited to the thing, right, thing to wear it, because we all have the reason why we're holding on to it. But like it's actually keeping up mental, taking up mental space, but it's also kind of keeping always pulling you back. So it's kind of like that domino effect. So I'll tell if you want to kind of do one thing immediately, i'll just say anything that doesn't feel good to you get out of your closet. Don't need to donate it, don't need to get rid of it today, but just remove it and see how it feels to live without it, because what actually ends up happening? a lot is there. It's a false set of options.

Melanie Lippman: 29:47

So we a lot of women will say oh, I have a closet full of clothes, And most, most women do have so much stuff in their closet, but maybe 50% of it is only stuff that you love and enjoy wearing, but you're not able to see what the patterns is or what outfits you can put together. They have to go through 20 pairs of pants to find one. So it's really like living in reality, but that also makes it so it's easy for you to get dressed each day.

Andrea Johnson: 30:11

I love that. So you sort of touched on this a little bit. but do you have a habit or a ritual that kind of helps you stay in the space for yourself and and or maybe you teach the clients that you do like on a daily, regular basis?

Melanie Lippman: 30:23

So I tell my clients and I do it for myself, as I have like a pretty editing basket in my closet Oh, that's a permanent fixture, as opposed to the garbage bag that, like you know, once we have four things in the pile, we go and get it. I'm like it's part of life of that. You are going to get rid of stuff, so just have that there So it doesn't get re hung up on. And so you're always kind of thinking about what can I get rid of?

Melanie Lippman: 30:48

as opposed to keeping it in there. That's definitely something that has been super helpful for me, super helpful for my clients, because you don't want to go and hang it back up and then have to go through the same exact thing, because it's a decision fatigue, right, you have to make that decision over and over, yeah.

Melanie Lippman: 31:03

Yeah, and I also think that you know, wearing color is another thing that I continue, i strive to. I mean, i do wear black. I like black. Black is easy, but I'll always will be like what else can I do? So that's like another thing. To just make it up again No, there's no fashion police out there. We're all afraid we're going to get written off. That's the new. You're in your house. And one more thing, if I could just like add a third get dressed every day. So what? the major trend that I'm seeing happening right now is women are coming to me because this major thing is happening and they've been working from home for three years, so they're putting this thing on a pedestal and they're like I don't know what to wear because I haven't worn real pants. I don't know what I like. I was pregnant and coat, like all of this stuff. Or I've gone through menopause since COVID, like my old thing ain't working for me but you don't have a new thing.

Melanie Lippman: 32:05

So, if you can, you know practice, and I'm not saying you need to wear a three-piece dress, but it's like just start dressing with intention every single day, even if you're not seeing anyone. So when you have to go to a friend's birthday party or you have to go to a conference or you have to go do something, it doesn't feel as hard, you don't feel like you're completely out of practice.

Andrea Johnson: 32:26

I love that And I have to tell you this is so encouraging to me because I actually do these things. I don't have the pretty editing basket. I'm definitely going to do that. Pantone color is not a problem for me, even when, even like my lounge clothes, i have this bright green, like I love the chartreuse color.

Melanie Lippman: 32:44

So big this season? Pardon, it's very big this season. I'm not like a slave to trends, but I think it's good to know what's in and what's out.

Andrea Johnson: 32:54

I like to know what the Pantone color is, you know, and that kind of stuff, But mostly because if it's a color I wear, well, I want to make sure I like purchase something in that, you know, because it's going to be out there, because I'm not a super shopper, But being able to, even on a day like I think it was Saturday, I was doing my bookkeeping stuff and it was like you know what I'm going to post something? no makeup, no, nothing. I had it taken a shower and dried my hair as a short haired person, you know. But one of my clients actually popped on and said I love that even when you're lounging and casual, you're still in bright, happy colors And I'm like, yes, So for a business owner, it's like, yes, there's, I have a brand And I loved that brand style book that you created for yourself, because it's not just a business owner. Any woman is a brand And I've gone through iterations of this.

Andrea Johnson: 33:46

I've listened to a bunch of different people and I'm just to a place where it's like you just make so much sense to me, But being able to look at my closet and say, why did I need to remove brown from my closet for a while. So it's like I did that in the. So in the fall I kind of went back and put that color back in, but being able to say, these are the colors that I normally buy. And then, if I do shop in Goodwill, I walked into Goodwill and I found these gorgeous mustard color pants that go with like eight things, because I buy that color and it works on me And so I love this, get dressed every day. There's a really, really, really like OG coach called the fly lady. Have you ever heard of her?

Melanie Lippman: 34:28

Okay.

Andrea Johnson: 34:30

So I think she's still around, but I mean way back in like the 90s. So you, i'm 56. So you were probably in elementary school, but she's called the fly and it's FLY, so it's fully love yourself, i think, is what it stood for. And one of her mantras every day was get dressed all the way down to your shoes. I love that And that's kind of what you're saying. It's like we've fallen out of that intention And it's it's okay in my brand to not necessarily be in beautiful slacks, because I'm not in an office anymore, i am self employed, and so my brand has shifted a little bit. And I think the other piece too is to for to be able to look at women and say you don't have to be whatever the corporate says, you have to be.

Andrea Johnson: 35:13

There may be certain rules that you have, but I just I love that. It's like be yourself.

Melanie Lippman: 35:18

That's it And feel good in it, because what I always. It's so interesting because one of the things that we'll do in my work is kind of like unpack like outfits that are people wearing and what are the things that you're just attracted to, just to help you better understand yourself. But the majority of times when we see someone that looks amazing, yes, we're noticing what they're wearing, but ultimately, we're noticing the confidence in what they and how they wear it and how they're showing off, because they could be wearing jeans, a teacher and sneakers, but it's that they're owning it and they're not second guessing it, and that's we all want. We want to show up and what we're wearing and not be like I got this wrong. Please don't look at me. It's I got this Okay And just, and I, like you, i make it a ritual every weekend to show up on Instagram live. There may be a filter on it, with no makeup, but, by the way, like my teeth may not even be brushed Like, but I go on there.

Melanie Lippman: 36:18

Just women permission to go, show up as they are and stop putting it on a pedestal because they're oh, my makeup's not perfect not going on live today. So normally it's like a deep dive of something that's come up on flying calls that I'm like I just need to share this with you And I'm hearing you, shir, in a no bra, like it's like just come as you are and stop judging yourself, because you're judging yourself, everyone else is gonna judge you.

Andrea Johnson: 36:44

I know, and it's just it's the worst judges in my head anyway. So, as we kind of start wrapping it up here a little bit, on this podcast, we don't talk about red flags, we talk about green flags, and it sounds like this is a little bit of your process with your clients as well. But in talking to the woman who's like, ready to start making the changes, what are some things she should look for in herself to help her know that she's ready to start actually doing some of this process or working with you or whatever, maybe one to three or four things that if I see this in myself, i'm ready. If I see this, i'm ready. What do you think?

Melanie Lippman: 37:20

I don't want to talk about a red flag, but what are the things? that is tip is if you're noticing that you are not doing something like not accepting an invitation or not making a plan or not being proactive about planning things because of your clothes, it's time to do some work on it, because you may be intentionally saying, oh, i'm not ready for that, but what you're actually doing is probably unintentionally saying no to a lot more than that Okay.

Melanie Lippman: 37:52

So it's really starting to kind of notice that And I also will tell clients to notice where you feel like you're getting stuck, because patterns it's typically, and the most interesting thing is, a lot of times it's not the work stuff, it's the weekend stuff that are setting my clients up a lot. So if it's like I don't want to go to the kids' birthday party, i don't want to go to my friend's 60th birthday party, i don't like oh Oh. So it's really about that And one of the things to really just start focusing on and thinking about, like how can I do this with more intention? Because we all think that getting dressed, shopping, like people will look at their closet and be like this just happened to me, like I don't know if I was part of these purchases, or I get like stories of like, and then she told me it looked great and I was gone, but by the way, the party got canceled So it was still here.

Melanie Lippman: 38:53

I'm worn with a tag, so just starting to notice the patterns in there as well Cause they're there And our knee jerk reaction to whenever we feel like our wardrobe isn't supporting us, is too shocking. The fashion industry has trained us to do that And we, as doers, have trained ourselves to do that, because it's like action, like I get to do something, as opposed to sitting in like what do I wear? It's like I'll just go shopping. This is an easy solution. So what I will tell you is stop doing that, okay, because they buy the same thing in your closet that you already have.

Andrea Johnson: 39:31

Yeah. So the next piece is like what is the first piece of advice? And the first piece of advice I'm hearing is just don't go shopping first. It's like it's not really you're telling us never to shop, but maybe where? why are you shopping? When are you shopping? Look at those kinds of things. But what is another like. This is where I'm going to start, right here. What's a piece of?

Melanie Lippman: 39:52

advice Get rid of that stuff at your closet. Yeah, I know, It is definitely the number one. And then also to start grouping your clothes by color.

Andrea Johnson: 40:02

Oh yay, I love it when you tell me something that I've already done.

Melanie Lippman: 40:06

Because it's very, very funny. Well, a woman you know on our first like group call will be like I don't wear color, i don't have color, i don't. But all of a sudden these women are coming up with these outfits and they're not shopping from the stuff in their closet. So it's just like, if you're kind of like here's my pink section, here's my that It's, you have a lot more options in there than you realize.

Andrea Johnson: 40:27

Yeah, and you know, like I even tell I got a 14 and a half year old son and for men it's just like so much easier in so many ways. And he'll ask me on Sundays because you know COVID has taught them how to wear sweatpants to school every day And it's like you used to wear jeans. But you know he'll come on Sunday and he'll be like okay, so khaki pants, does the red shirt go with khaki pants? I'm like neutral. The khaki, the navy, the gray, those are all neutral pants. You can wear any of your clothes with them, unless they're really close together And then we might chat, but most of the time it's just a neutral And just being able to say what's in, what are the colors that I have that can go with my neutrals. Like I have one or two sections of color. It's like only got two pieces in there, but it's a color And I just thought it was my own, like OCD needing to go ROYGBIV on my closet.

Melanie Lippman: 41:17

No, but it's, it helps. So one of the things that I teach my clients is so it's. You know, wearing the colors are good on you, but then you know giving you the permission and the rules to how to mix and match colors And if you don't have an organized closet, you're going to immediately go into overwhelm. So I'm not saying you need some recondo and it needs to be perfect, but it needs to make sense to you So you can be like okay, i want to wear a little color today. How do I? you know, how do I set up my closet? so this could be fun and curious and I could enjoy doing it, as opposed to you need to go scraping the bottom of the closet, just see what's down there and how to create it. So it's really just setting it up, so it keeps you curious and it makes it more efficient for you to really play a game with it.

Andrea Johnson: 41:58

Yeah, so we can celebrate the curiosity. That's one of my fun words. I love that word. So where can people find you, Melanie? What's the best place?

Melanie Lippman: 42:04

So I am on Instagram at Melanie Whitman and I am constantly in my DMs. I am constantly creating reels and giving inspiration of you know what's not working, what's working in your closet and non-stories. So definitely there. I'm also on TikTok and on LinkedIn, so all of your favorite platforms And just I love having conversations with people about them really feeling like they could be good at getting dressed.

Andrea Johnson: 42:34

Oh, I love that And I was on your website and I noticed you have like a free shopping guide for professional women.

Melanie Lippman: 42:40

Yes, i do have that, a free shopping guide that you could pick up And then also I'll send to you. I just finished it. It is. I'll send this to you to put in the show notes.

Melanie Lippman: 42:49

It's the five biggest mistakes outfit mistakes that women are making that are keeping them frumpy and frustrated, because, as we chatted about, having the pieces are great, but it's knowing what to do with them that makes you feel more empowered. So there's a few things that touch women off guard and they're doing wrong. And when she start realizing what's a better option, it becomes so much easier to get dressed.

Andrea Johnson: 43:12

Oh, i'm not only gonna, i'm excited to have it. So we'll definitely put that in the show notes. I mean, before we go, and this has been great. Number one, have I forgotten to ask you anything? No, okay, because we are going to have a live the week that this airs and we are going to kind of dive into. let you teach us just a little bit, really share your expertise. I mean because you already have and it's been exciting. but before we go, what is one thing that you can always be optimistic about, even when everybody else thinks you're crazy, can be totally serious, totally funny.

Melanie Lippman: 43:46

Trust your style. Okay, like we're all like. Does this work, you know? Does this make my butt look fat? You know, yeah.

Andrea Johnson: 44:01

And I'm always like looking at myself going gosh, mate, it's like I'm so curvy on the bottom, and so it just blows my mind when other people are like I have curves on the bottom, i'm like, why would you add to that, Right? I mean, it's just like we still have that. But I love that You can trust your style and that you are stylish, right, mm-hmm? Yeah, it's you, it's all about you, mm-hmm. All right, thank you so much. This has been absolutely lovely And I look forward to seeing you on our live and getting some more information, and I'll make sure I call you on all the places instead of just on the program I'll make sure to call you on my own.

Melanie Lippman: 44:35

Thank, you.

Andrea Johnson: 44:36

Ok, then I have to say, knowing someone else created their own quote playbook that then became the basis of their client work is so encouraging Because I have to tell you and you may or may not have noticed this in me over the years if you've paid attention but it's really easy to think that you're the only one who needs this kind of work And then super easy to renege on the confidence to share it. So, in that vein, let's talk about my own personal playbook, intentional Optimism. This is a piece of my overall leadership framework And it's made up of what I call tenants And they're based on universal concepts, meaning we all live some of the tenants some of the time, but it turns out the ones I needed. The ones in my personal playbook are a really great roadmap for becoming who you were meant to be, because what we do is different. For instance, melanie was raised in the style industry and is a style guru. Most of my clothes I was a missionary kid were homemade All the way up through. I mean, i took homemade clothes to college. But intentional optimism is how we do what we do. It's the attitudes and mindsets that we employ and embody to live out our own values, goals and dreams with excellence. In short, it's a personal growth lifestyle. So if you're new here, there's a resource listed in the show notes called What Is Intentional Optimism, and it's a quick guide to each of the six tenants and how you can pursue them in your daily life. You can also scroll back through the past episodes of this podcast and find dozens of solo shows in which I dive deeper into what makes up each and every one.

Andrea Johnson: 46:17

Now, melanie already lives out several of the tenants of intentional optimism, and here are two that really stood out in our conversation. The first is being present And, if you didn't know, curiosity is a big piece of that. I am currently in the process It's going to take me a really long time of doing a 100 day project all based on wonder, and curiosity is the biggest piece of wonder. Melanie's phrase and I love it that she uses says that she teaches her clients to enjoy the curiosity rather than being afraid of it. Yes, please bring it on, because it helps you just experience new things. It gives you a sense of adventure, which goes into some of the other tenants, but it's just a beautiful way to say we don't have to be afraid of the curiosity. I've learned this a lot in my life. The second one I see is intentional. She reinforced this one when talking about how to approach your daily habits and your wardrobe. That simple question of how can I be just a little more intentional here makes such a big difference. Y'all unconventional leaders lead at every level, in any area, using their unique gifts. All right, so let's talk about how Melanie's story inspires us.

Andrea Johnson: 47:35

My big takeaway is to know yourself and trust yourself, and this is just. It resonates to my soul right now And, if I'm honest, i felt a little seen. I mean, you know what it's like. Somebody just says something that just like all the way down to your bones, just goes ding, and it's just, that's you, and you needed to hear it. Now you may not be a petite, curvy woman, but there's something about your body that you don't like. If that's not the case, please contact me, because I want your secret. However, just knowing that there are a few things I'm already doing that are pointing me in the direction of even more confidence in my wardrobe and how I'll show up, it's very encouraging. And don't think I'm not sharing her stuff with my friends, because we all have the same issues, right, i mean, i'm 56, and I probably share that a little too often on here. But for real, isn't it time that I just started trusting myself? No matter how old or how young you are, it's time for you, too, understanding who you are, your core values, your boundaries, your strengths, your abilities, your style. It's the best place to start Now.

Andrea Johnson: 48:48

I don't know if you know this, but I have a very simple four module mini course that will walk you through the basics of uncovering your own core values, and if you need some help, just shoot me a DM. Of course, you'll find Melanie's contact information in the show notes And she and I will have a live guest speaker series conversation shortly after this episode airs, and it'll give you some really good information on how to start having more confidence in your closet, even if you don't buy anything new. She is so relatable. Trust me, you do not want to miss this. You'll see the announcement come across my social media, but if you just subscribe to my YouTube channel, you'll find all the guest speaker series there past, present and future. So get over there and subscribe. You don't want to miss any of the good stuff. The link is in my show notes.

Andrea Johnson: 49:32

Now the best way to help your friends grow is to share what you already know, right? I mean, if you found a great deal on Amazon, you'd share that. So go share Melanie's story, especially with a friend, that one that you thought of in the middle of our conversation. You thought, oh, we had this conversation the other day and she needs to hear this answer. But if you haven't yet joined our Patreon community, it's easy Just go to patreoncom forward, slash intentional optimists and you'll get another inspiring behind the scenes story from Melanie.

Andrea Johnson: 50:01

It's all about becoming an intentional optimist. You got this. Now, if you're feeling generous, scroll down in the app where you're listening and give us a five star rating and review, or snap a screenshot where you're listening and then share that to your Instagram stories and tell me what your big takeaway is from this conversation. That will help other women find this podcast and more unconventional leaders, just like Melanie Lippmann. Until next time. Oh good, you're still here because I have one more invitation for you. My newsletter, optimistic Living, is full of good stuff delivered straight to your inbox. So for weekly encouragement, tips and even some special offers, hop over to my website and sign up, because unconventional leaders need it every level in any area, using their unique gifts. And you, my friend, are a leader. You are the future of leadership and the role models for future generations.