Thanatos and Judgement (October forecast)

This episode explores themes behind the tarot and oracle cards for this month's forecast: Judgement and Thanatos (the Greek God or spirit of Death).

Judgement is about a higher interconnection with Divinity, usually through sacred service and devotion. However, Judgement as a tarot card also invites you to consider how your humanity is also divine, and where you can root into your spirit to rise into the divine.

Thanatos is the embodiment of the death-cycle. Not violent or painful, Thanatos is a gentle carrying of the energies and things that need to die off to the Underworld. His brother was the embodiment of sleep, so think of it that way.  This forecast explores letting things go, transforming and evolving in our spirit and self, and acknowledging honest emotions like fear and resistance to the process.

Thanatos link: Thanatos
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Transcript

Ashlie McDiarmid: 0:00

Hello there my beautiful souls, and thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this episode of the Tea and Tombstones podcast. Tea and Tombstones is a platform dedicated to meeting both the haunted and the hallowed of life through tarot and spiritual council, and I welcome you here. Hello there hauntings are finally here, I'm finally getting this podcast out. I do apologize that it is coming so late that it is we're going to be talking about the monthly cards and it is almost the end of the month, so I do apologize. This month, and frankly, this year has been shit and many days, I just feel like I'm treading water. I just need a 48 hour day to get everything done and I know that that's a flawed thought and I'm a flawed human and that's how we are. That's how I am. Hopefully, the... as the rest of this year goes by and as we embrace the death cycle that comes with winter, hopefully there's a chance for some stillness so that there can be some renewal. Speaking of stillness, and renewal, there has been a lot of death- cycling energy this month and I've just had to honor it and submit to it in many ways. But I think that what I love about the podcast, I should say is that I love the space to sit here and speak on it, because that allows me to create intimacy with it, and intimacy is also going to be something that we talk about this month too. One other thing, or I should say two other things, that I would like to say, first is that I may have mentioned this in my episode on the Queen, but I will just mention it again to be a responsible podcaster and a responsible initiator of this expression, that the way that I talked about these cards, the way that I see these cards and work with these cards is from my own personal journey with them. So if something that I'm saying does not resonate with you, that's totally okay. That's totally fine, and in fact, it's good that we don't always have the same views. We do not want tarot, or anything really, but we especially do not want tarot to become an echo chamber of the same thought. How boring would that be? I would also like to say that I am changing up or I have changed up my Patreon a little bit. The first Patreon tier stays the same. My $1 Patreon tier, excuse me, my Spooks tier, which is the only other tier I have right now. My $5 tier used to get a lot of their goodies in relation to the zine that I used to write, but the cards this month really challenged me to submit to those death-cycles, as I mentioned, and to be really honest, and authentic and create space for intimacy and what I wanted, not what I felt I had to do, but what I wanted. And I realized that I don't want to do the zine anymore. The zine started out as a dear dear love, and anyone who knows me who knows my platform knows that I am a writer. I love to write and the zine was born and initiated from that love for writing, but it turned into something that became a chore, and I don't want anything in this space to feel that way. Obviously, there are some things that are more of a joy than others. I would much rather be pulling tarot cards than reading about taxation on shipping based on location like, that sounds really boring, but that's also part of the business and so I have to... I know where I have to commit to energy even if it's somewhat boring, because it is necessary, and that's not what the zine was. The zine was just,...it just ....me and it just died. It just... the fire blew away with the zine, and it was really this card, the cards this month that brought that on. So my spooks will now instead of getting their name in the printed zine will get their names spoken to them by me at the end of every single podcast episode. So you will get to hear your beautiful name. You will also get a an additional recording with a third monthly card. So that's going to start next month. Obviously it wouldn't make as much sense to do it this month. But let's go ahead and jump right into these

cards: 4:31

Judgment and Thanatos. Thanatos is the Greek God or the spiritual or the spirit presence I should say of death. His mother Nyx is the Goddess of night and from the research that I did, it said that he was born as a shard of her being, of her entity, along with his brother Hypnos which is the God of sleep. There is a gentleness to Thanatos. First, I would love to talk about Judgment though because Judgment, I feel at least, is a card that is quite.. is quite loaded. It's quite a heavy card, at least for me. Some people may love Judgment, but I find Judgment to be quite a hard card to work with. I feel there's a little bit of polarizing energy with Judgment. There's a sense of ambivalence with Judgment. Not that ambivalence means that you don't care that it's, you're pulled between those two extreme forces and you're trying to figure it out. Like you're trying to figure out how to make it work. The way that I see Judgment is, if you've ever seen the movie Girl Interrupted, which if you haven't, I highly recommend you watch that movie. It is a phenomenal movie. It's a phenomenal book too. I love the part when Susanna Winona Ryder's character is talking to the doctor Dr. Wick, and she mentioned that ambivalence is her new favorite word, and she says that it means I don't care. Dr. Wick says that actually, it means that... ambivalent means strong feelings in opposition. There is a choice in the course to take based on these strong feelings of opposition, and is exactly how I view Judgment. Judgment is a card for me, it's an... it's an energy, and it's an invitation that is so beautiful in many ways because it further aligns us into this higher mystical self, this part of us that is more... more merged and more stitched into the universe, if you will, but at the same time, that's not easy. That's not easy to bear. It's not easy to go through. Sometimes you want life to be simple. For those who are empathic, sensitive, or who even just live with the intention to live with intention- that they move from a place of recognition, intention, that can be quite hard sometimes, and it creates a lot of gray. There's a lot of gray that comes with living like that. The other thing that I see with Judgment in relation to this being pulled in opposition based on strong feelings towards both ends of the spectrum, there is a need to become more intimate. There's a need to become more intimate with the self. There's a need to become more intimate with the universe as we merge and stitch ourselves and sew ourselves into that tapestry. There's a need to be more exposed in that authentic truth. That can also again be quite hard. That can make us feel perhaps pushed to the brink. The standard narrative of Judgment is that it's all about transcendence, and renewal and rebirth, and I see that in there as well. Again, when we are stepping into Judgment, we are stepping into our higher and better selves, and that is absolutely stunning, but we're also stepping into a space that's not as easy to hold. And that's because we have to go through the space where we release and let go and we surrender and we submit. We have to go through that honest threshold of where we have neglected the universe, ourselves, where we are still flawed, and come through that a little cleaner on the other side. At least for me it is not... is not easy. I feel that there's so much power and so many gifts that come with this card too. So, Judgment is is so heavy. It's so... it's so much. When I pulled Judgment, and when I pulled it for this month, the first thing I said was "Okay, now what?" And that's often what I feel with Judgment, because it's not clear. It's not this- I mean, maybe perhaps we could say that none of the majors are quite clear, but at least when I pull the Empress or the Chariot or Justice, I have maybe a little bit of a better grip or grasp on what the invitation is for that card. Sometimes with Judgment I'm sitting there going, "I don't know yet." And that's kind of the purpose is that we don't know, and yet we're being asked to move and to trust and to cleanse and to forgive and to purify and to relinquish, but also take control of- there's so much happening with this card. I don't... I don't know how else to say it. I made a bunch of notes on this card and also on the research that I did on Thanatos. One way that I find helpful in working with these cards is to lay all of the different Judgment cards I have for my different decks out and see how they relate to each other and also how they differ from each other. I am a reader that is quite heavily influenced on the images, so some of the notes that I have here with Judgment is again awakening in to your life's purpose, and that, that sacred service to the Divine and all things includes yourself, and it includes this intimacy. Not to say that I don't live or love and intimate life I do, but sometimes I struggle with intimacy. Not because I am just wounded and I'm jaded, and I'm cut off....and maybe there's about a bit of that in there too, but for me, sometimes with intimacy, I struggle because it feels like I'm giving a lot of energy away, because when I'm intimate, I'm so passionate about that which I'm intimate with that I feel I give a lot of energy away. I don't know, sometimes where the threshold of my intimacy lies. Where do I commit to this space of intimacy and where do I not commit to it? Or where do I reserve this part of myself, but not this other part and give that part freely? And so when we talk about stepping into the space of sacred service to the Divine, sometimes that creates, at least within me some feelings of resistance, not that I don't love the divine, not that I don't want to move into my higher and better self, I absolutely do, and not that I don't want to be part of something bigger than than me, I absolutely do. But sometimes it's, it's hard to know where the boundaries are with those things. It's hard to know where the boundaries exist within the things that we love and cherish, and are precious to us, and that's probably where, in fact, we need boundaries the most. As much as I love being in that space of intimacy, there is also a presence within me that I feel I always have to reserve a little bit of myself, like a little bird's nest within me that holds these fragile eggs that are of my own making that are stirring in this dark place, and it's not for anyone else, or anything else. It is just for me. That's how I feel like I said, with Judgment. It's also a card about tapping into your divine roots and bringing those divine messages into consciousness for interpretation and action. So when we allow ourselves to step into that intimate space of creating sacred service and awakening to this intimate merging of our higher and better selves there is a need to go into those spaces that perhaps we've been neglecting. We've been neglecting them, because it's not easy. Judgment asks us to tap into those divine roots, and bring those messages and that nourishment and those minerals and all of those gifts to the surface and into consciousness for interpretation and action. As much as I see Judgment, as much as almost anyone else about you know, transformation or renewal or rebirth, that there is this element of needing to recognize through this devotion, that in some ways, the way to bring those messages into consciousness is not necessarily about lessening our human selves and fulfilling more or becoming more intimate with our spiritual selves. There is a lot of that, but there's an element of recognizing that it is through the flawed nature of ourselves that these divine messages into consciousness can take root, in my opinion. That it is through our flaws, and it is through this problematic part of ourselves that allows Judgment to hold the weight that it does. If we were already these... and we are these divine, beautiful beings; I don't mean to say that as like we're not, but if we were these divine, beautiful beings that were infallible Judgment would not hold weight for us. When I hold judgment, especially for this month, and what I've been working with this card every day and kind of taking note of my choices and my actions and my coping mechanisms and all of that, I've noticed that it is through the flawed nature of myself that I've come to respect this card more That by bringing those divine messages that come with Judgment into my consciousness, for the interpretation and for the action, I recognize that it has to cross over this, this.... this river, this bridge of the flawed nature of me, and by doing that it actually has weight, it has breath, it has sustenance. There's more in that envelope, and it is also about movement and flow towards this new space. Again, we're talking about transformation and stepping into this merging and so beautiful, but there's a balancing act with Judgment. I see that when we offer ourselves into this space, we have to leave something behind. That's where some intimacy comes in, and that's where some truth and some autonomy and some authenticity come in. We bring along the flawed nature of our very souls into that space, and so when we are stepping into this space of merging and getting ready to cross the threshold of the world, something offered means something else will have to be left behind. That is also where the intimacy and the flawed nature of ourselves can be that ambivalence, or it can be that strong feelings in opposition that we want to step forward, but we don't want to relinquish what we perhaps know or what we don't know is just naturally going to be relinquished from us, so sometimes when I pull Judgment- I am not saying this to be hyperbolic- sometimes there's a little bit of like a fear response or a trigger that comes with that card, because I, I acknowledge this balancing act, that moving into my higher self means that I can't stay the same. I can't sit here and merge into this more more forgiving space for myself to exist in- divine and flawed and also be exactly the same as I was before. It just, it just doesn't work like that, at least in my opinion. Judgment is a card that is creating this softening, but it doesn't feel soft. It's like it's creating this space for more gentleness, and for more forgiving, and for this, it's purifying this space, and so that we can be in this merging of higher alignment yet, it just feels like fire and smoke, if that makes sense. So, it's definitely a card that I like I said, I appreciate it. I acknowledge it. I bow to it, but sometimes I'm just like, holy hot damn! One way that the card is gentle, or provides a sense of gentleness or softening is that there's a space being made for this relief. It's almost sometimes like, like I had taken a breath under being underwater for far too long. When we relinquish something, and we move into that merging, and we create that space, and we own that exposure and step into that intimacy, as scary as it is, and as much as we may feel this resistance, this ambivalence- being pulled in different directions there is a relief that comes back. There is a lessening of a sort of weight that we carry, that could be what is relinquished, and maybe something else entirely, but there's definitely a little bit of this freshness that comes with Judgment as hard as it is going through that process. Once you are on the other side of that energy, it feels just again, like just full of breath, full of air. It creates this freedom through acknowledgement. It creates this freedom through experience. It creates this, this possibility that would not be possible, again, if we had not come from the space that we did. If we came from this place that was infallible, and pure and completely in focus, and completely full of purpose, Judgment may not feel the way that it does. It feels the way that it does because we carry that baggage, and then we just let that baggage go and we pull our shoulders up and we stand up tall. Our body and our spirit and our breath is free to move again to flow again. And again, that can be quite painful because there is this sense of acknowledging what- what once was, and we carry that too, because again, we're not perfect and memory should shift and shape us and I hope that I don't lose my memories when you know when I die or when I go away. Or when I'm old even, like I want my memories because they make each day more valuable to me. And finally, just beginnings and endings hinge on the fulcrum between choice and action between choice and commitment, that when we commit to something through choice or through action, we are creating a sense of clarity and going back to that space of fresh breath, fresh light, fresh earth, fresh skin, fresh everything. It's like a newborn babe in the woods, you know. It's... it's just... everything is just stimulated on an on high alert, and that can be good or bad. When we then compare that in relation to Thanatos there is... it's easy to see how these cards kind of go together. That Thanatos is these spirits are the god of death, but he's gentle. It's it's not. It's not painful. It's just this. He comes and he just takes you to the underworld. There's just this almost sense of like sweeping and carrying and again, it's this almost very intimate space if I'm allowed to. I mean, I am allowed to say that but you know what I mean? Like, when we.... when we think about have the image of death or the act of death or the process of death, most of the time, it doesn't bring up a sense of gentleness, and I'm trying to be very mindful of the fact that, especially with the year that we've had that, I'm not trying to downplay death at all, and I want to make that very clear that I am not trying to say that, "oh, death is beautiful and gentle, and we all should just fully embrace it." No, like, no. I am not.. that's not the point here. The point is that... and I also want to point out that I don't see Thanatos as a space of like speaking to physical death, like a person or different people, or you know a pet or something like... I'm not seeing Thanatos that way. Thanatos is the spirit of death, what I want to express and what I want to say, and what I want to get across with Thanatos energy, is that death is a very intimate process as well, and that's probably one of the biggest similarities that these two cards had- is that there is a space open for intimacy and for vulnerability. Crossing the threshold from life into death is perhaps one of the most intimate and vulnerable spaces that a person can ever be in because we do not know what is on the other side. There is a... at least with the essence of death or with the spirit of death in this metaphorical allegorical space, there is a sense of, with Thanatos that it's more gentle, it's more about.... it's more about this releasing, and this encompassing, again, speaking to this merging with the energies of the underworld, it's more about speaking to this space of endearing in a way that is really painful at times and very awakening. That when we go through those profound of energies, a.) we do not come out the same on the other side. We just don't. We also come out, perhaps, and hopefully with a little more compassion and with perhaps a little bit more awareness of our space in this moment, and we can feel that with both grief and gratitude. There's that sense of ambivalence that through both grief and gratitude, we can find this this embodiment and this embracing and this intimacy through that cycle. So they both speak to this encompassing, this transcending, this merging, and this deep, but often painful moving, and this relinquishing of something. But also, this gaining of something. Some of the differences is that when we first think of Judgment, we think of rising to a higher level and with Thanatos, through all of the pantheon that he, that he exists in, in all the narratives, he moves us to the underworld. So there's a spectrum of moving to the higher thresholds and also moving to the lower thresholds at times, so again, there's this sense of ambivalence that we're being pulled into very profound and different directions. There is also a space of choice. As I said, choice and commitment that comes with Judgment that is not there with Thanatos. We do not get to choose,.... we can choose some of our death cycles. Again, if you choose to end a relationship or you choose to just make a really big change, and you relinquish something through that change that is a choice that comes with Thanatos, but sometimes change happens in spite of us or in spite of our situation. These deaths cycles, once we finally acknowledge them we can maybe see that they've been moving for quite a lot longer than we've ever really noticed. Same thing with with Judgment, some of these energies can be circling through us and for us for a lot longer than we... then we can consciously recognize or we can consciously name or we can consciously speak to to. There is this element of of choice, but I think choice is a little bit more prevalent with Judgment- that we can choose to rise to these higher levels. Sometimes with Thanatos it just comes. It's just there; it's just present, and even if that's just moving through a death cycle of expectation, or routine, or habit that can still be quite profound. And sometimes it's... it's just out of happenstance or force. There might be just a little bit more freedom I would say with Judgment. Judgment has maybe a little bit more of commitment or devotion. Thanatos is flowing and moving. Thanatos speaks more in relation to this need to trust. Not that I don't need to trust with Judgment, not that I don't need to surrender to Judgment, but withThanatos I feel that as gentle as it is, as intimate as it is, that cycles are not easy. Even small things like I said- even small things can be quite profound with Thanatos. I feel that there's... there's a sense of deep, deep humility that needs to come in, and that comes into its Judgment, but at least with Judgment, I feel that as I move more into alignment, I can negotiate it in some way. That I can manipulate certain things to create a little bit of ease for me. As gentle as the energy of Thanatos is, this sweeping release, there's not a lot of negotiation with that. There's not a lot of room to to make that work in the moment where we have to just kind of create a container and in a space to hold ourselves in that moment, and then as we move through each moment to each moment, the container can kind of grow bigger and bigger. We can add more things in the container to serve us, to encompass us in a way that allows this gentleness and the softening to be there. It feels more immediate than Judgment. It may be more immediate, but that doesn't mean that it's more easy. That's where I was at in relation to the zine. As I mentioned, in the beginning, I did not decide to one day just not do the zine because I just didn't want to do it. I wrote a few zines really pushing and plowing through because I felt that I had to. I felt that I just had to. I was like "I've created this. I have to keep creating." When I pulled these cards they really challenged me to really question my choices, my negotiations, my intimate [sic] my intimacy, excuse me with... with Tea and Tombstones, with my lover and best friend, with my other best friends, with my family. They... it really brought a lot out. One of the things that kind of came out in that was the zine. And I honestly felt like I was trying to put life into a dead body with it. I just I had that image in my head that I was like this.... Thanatos has taken this away from me for a while now, and I've just been trying to hold on to to the outline into the shape of this because it's... it's comforting. It makes me feel like I'm being productive and proactive, and I'm just trying to stuff that container full of things instead of things that would serve and would nourish and would support the fact that I need to recognize that it was not a success. That it really was not worth the time I spent making it, and that was again, very humbling. It was very eye- opening that some of the things that I choose to do I feel like I keep choosing to do because it's like, "no, it'll work and work." And it's like, "no, there's, there's no life left here. It's gone." Judgment, I also felt that sense of needing to... to release and when I stepped into doing the podcast, I was as I said, as I said before, I was scared shitless. Not that I don't see the value in vulnerability, I just, I can be a very guarded person. As a Scorpio...well, I'm a Scorpio moon, but I resonate so much more with my moon sign than my sun sign, which is Libra. I was born at night. So I don't know if that's why. I don't really know a ton about astrology, so please comment. I mean, that's a thing that I much more in connection with my moon sign than my sun sign. I'm also a Gemini rising, so I feel very heavily into my Gemini rising. But when I started the podcast, I was so afraid to be vulnerable in this way. I knew that I wasn't going to sound perfect, and I don't. When I'm editing some of my podcast, I'm just like, "oh my God!" but then I edit it out and I tried to make it good. I knew that I wasn't going to sound perfect and polished because I'm... I'm just not in that space with my podcast. I may never get in that space, and I honestly don't even have a ton of expectations for my podcasts like I... and I put the message of the podcast off for a long time. Because I just kept saying, "oh, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready, and I need to be ready in order to do it." There was a space that by choosing to commit to the podcast, I initiated Judgment energy because I stepped into the space that was within my higher alignment. Yet it was not soft. It was not gentle. But it feels so good. And that's the energy and that's the difference with Judgment and Thanatos I think, is that with Judgment there is as I said before, there's this relief that comes as you move through the energy and you step on the other side, there's a salve, there's a relief. There's an energy of fresh breath and sometimes with Thanatos it feels like all of the breath has been taken from us. All of the breath has been stripped from us and we're in this container and there's nothing there, and that is also again quite hard. And they're both hard cards in there. Both beautiful cards. They really rocked my cradle. I don't know, about any of you but they rocked my cradle, hard core. I really appreciate it in a way though. There's a part of me- that ego part, that part that just wants comfort and simplicity that's like "come on... like it's already been a shit year. I don't want or need any more of this." But in reality, I'm very grateful that these cards have come through and if you are still working with these cards, or if you're still struggling with these cards, I really invite you to think about... I invite you to think about where you are in regards to ambivalence. What big polarizing energies or directions do you feel you are being pulled in? And how does your flawed nature enhance your higher self? How does your flawed self allow you to appreciate this threshold? The threshold beyond that and the merging with your higher self? The higher self that is, the divinity that is, the higher self of others, how does your space in perfect imperfection allow you to embrace that a little bit more? And how does your space create a new awareness, a new devotion? How does it allow you to move and flow across the bridge above that river with a little bit more ease and a little bit more of a steady grip? And also where does it feel unbearably hard, but it's softening you at the same time? Because that's Judgment. It's a lot. It's a lot of energy. And you don't have to know those answers right now. You don't have to know them tomorrow. You don't honestly perhaps ever have to know them, but just not letting yourself sit in the space of fear and prevent you from moving, letting fear stalemate you or letting comfort stalemate is not a reason to not align to your sole purpose, to your life purpose, to the merging of the universe in a more enlightened and aware and conscious way. I invite you to see Judgment in a way as this formation or this architecture, the scaffolding of... of you as we move into the space of renewal. And as we move into this space of relief and forgiveness and freedom and possibility, evaluation and evolution and bringing those divine messages to the surface. It's through the human channel that that takes.... that takes root.... that it makes it more palatable. There's more to unlock there, there's more in behind that door. And so I invite you with Judgment to look at the little ways that contribute to your higher self, what are the little things that contribute to your higher self or the little details that enhance your metaphorical space and with Thanatos, I also invite you to see what are you trying to breathe life into that is.... there's no more breath. There is no pulse, because that's Thanatos, and that's something that we need to acknowledge and creating the space for both grief and gratitude is very present. And even though these cards will be... will have new monthly cards in a few days, these energies perhaps more than any of the other monthly cards, or maybe I just felt into them more than the other cards, I feel like they're gonna.... with Thanatos, I really invite you to see where there's a death-cycle present in your life. And again, we're talking metaphorical death. I'm not here saying that someone is going to you know that there's going to be a physical death in your life. That's not... that's not a thing. At least I don't think that that is, I do not think that is the energy of his, but just seeing where you're at with a death-cycle can be very vital and seeing what has been surrendered willingly or unwillingly from your space and what sort of vulnerability comes with that and what sort of gentle intimacy you may need because of that can be quite valuable, as hard as it is, and again, we're looking at that spectrum of both grief and gratitude, so allowing the grief to be present...to be present, or allowing hurt and fear and anger and all of the messy, flawed parts of ourselves to be to be seen and to be witnessed and to be somewhat understood is so valuable. I think that's what I want to say on these cards. Please let me know your thoughts on this card. If you like my podcasts and I greatly hope that you do please leave an honest review on any of the podcast directories. You can find me on Stitcher, Spotify, Google, iTunes, wherever you found me. If you like Tea and Tombstones, please, please leave an honest review. It helps other people find me. I'd be so grateful for that. If you would like to work with me, you can reach out to me and email me at teaandtombstones@gmail.com. You can also find my spreads, my blog, my tarot card meanings, and a whole bunch of other stuff on my website, which is teaandtombstones.com. And I think I send my email wrong. It's teaandtombstoness@gmail.com. Sorry. Finally, I would just like to say thank you to my spooks patrons, Lisa Zimmerman and Bobby McDiarmid. Thank you so much for your continued support. I greatly appreciate it and it allows Tea and Tombstones to move forward creatively while being supported. So again, I thank you so very much. If you would like to become a patron, you can find me at Patreon, teaandtombstones.com and you can choose from my tiers and you will get extra goodies that are just for my patrons. Thank you so much. Bye