Caring about men and boys. More contributions from MPs who took part in this debate. Attention is given to men’s domestic abuse, their mental health and that no white working class men were admitted into SOAS, a prestigious university, in 2016.
Good guy of the week is 93 year old retired GP, David Handford who has been making cards for fellow care-home residents who couldn’t get to the shops and who has now turned his attention to making Christmas cards, raising a significant amount for charity.
Caring about men and boys. More contributions from MPs who took part in this debate. Attention is given to men’s domestic abuse, their mental health and that no white working class men were admitted into SOAS, a prestigious university, in 2016.
Good guy of the week is 93 year old retired GP, David Handford who has been making cards for fellow care-home residents who couldn’t get to the shops and who has now turned his attention to making Christmas cards, raising a significant amount for charity.
MP, Ben Bradley’s International Men’s Day Speech: Working Class Boys at the Bottom of the Pile: Part 3
This part 3 follows on from Ben Bradley’s 12 minutes speech and focusses on some more of the further 3-4 minutes speeches of the other 8 MPs who spoke.
Now we hear from Shaun Bailey, the Conservative MP for West Bromwich who gave his attention to domestic abuse, mental health and the attainment gap.
We know, he told us, that 786,000 men have reported being victims of domestic abuse. If we look at the numbers, we find that only just over half of men will report domestic abuse, whereas 88% of women are prepared to do so. He told us too that there are 37 refuges and safe houses with 204 spaces. Of those 204 spaces, only 40 are dedicated for men. In Greater London Shaun Bailey said, there are no spaces for men needing refuge from domestic abuse. The Respect Men’s Advice Line had told him that some male victims of domestic abuse have sought refuge from their abusers by sleeping in cars, in tents or in relatives’ gardens.
He shared that, as someone who has seen domestic abuse at first hand, the ability to escape is supremely important in ensuring that people survive; and that we need to be doing much more to make sure that there is provision for these men. He paid tribute to those organisations who are supporting the victims and survivors of domestic abuse but acknowledged that there is clearly a gap.
Shaun Bailey was another MP that highlighted the very high rate of male suicide and emphasised the need to look at the fundamental underlying issues that lead to these deaths.
He did not want to repeat the statistics that others had read out, but rounded off his comments by making, in my opinion, a very powerful statement indeed; he said ‘ultimately, this is about ensuring that we all have access to the services and support that we need. We should value everyone as an individual—as the person they are at their core, irrespective of gender, what they look like or where they come from’. Can’t argue with that!
Next up was another Conservative MP, MP for Ipswich, Tom Hunt.
He thanked Ben Bradley for securing this vital debate and agreed with his comments about the underperformance of white boys from underprivileged backgrounds in the school system. Further, he said, the facts speak for themselves and they cannot be disputed. I think it right that the Education Committee, on which I serve, is currently looking at this issue in depth.
Tom Hunt told us that he wished to talk about men’s mental health, which he said is getting more attention now than it ever was. The simple fact is that many men who struggle with their mental health do not feel comfortable talking about it. He suggested that men might think deep down that having a mental health problem is a sign of weakness but emphasised that of course they are wrong. He said they should feel comfortable to talk about it. I will be addressing this expectation in a future episode, drawing on the work of male friendly psychologists who suggest that the mental health system needs to change to serve men, rather than expecting men to change to serve the mental health system.
Shaun Bailey I’m assuming was referring to the impact on mental health of Covid-19 when he told us that awareness is greater than it has ever been, because there’s not a single person in this country, he said, whose mental health had not been affected to some extent. He went on to share something personal about his father saying, ‘if I had spoken to him a year or two ago about mental health, he probably would have said, “man up—stiff upper lip,” and taken a very masculine approach to it; but now, at 75 years old, he has had to shield himself, and when I talked to him recently about this very issue, I never thought that I would hear it, but my dad was talking about his mental health. Shaun stated, ‘that is a good thing, and we should encourage more of it’.
He acknowledged the great many challenges that the pandemic has brought to light saying that many of the things that men rely upon, such as going to watch the football, fishing and golf, have not been possible, particularly during the second lockdown.
He was pleased to highlight something brilliant that is happening in Chantry in Ipswich. Over the summer, a local landlady, Penny, had spoken to him about the problem of men’s mental health and how she had wanted to do something about it. After two to three months, her men’s mental health support group in Chantry now has 33 members including Rex Manning, a professionally trained chef. They have secured an allotment and all the men go down there, and talk. They don’t necessarily talk directly about their mental health, an outcome that the male friendly psychologists whose work I admire so much would endorse, but they can engage in an activity that is good for their wellbeing, and that really brings the community together. They produce meals with the vegetables they grow which they all eat together in the local pub.
Shaun Bailey ends his speech by saying that men’s mental health is a very challenging issue, it is right that we have this debate, and there is a great opportunity here. The pandemic has highlighted mental health more than ever before and talking about mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is something that should be encouraged.
Alexander Stafford, Conservative MP for Rother Valley was up next. He wished to draw the House’s attention to unacceptable inequality and to stand up for men and boys in his constituency. In particular he mentioned SOAS, the School of African and Asian Studies that on its website describes itself as ‘the leading Higher Education institution in Europe specialising in the study of Asia, Africa and the Near and Middle East.
Alexander told us that SOAS is a remarkable institution. With a vast repository of knowledge and expertise on specialist regions, it is uniquely placed to inform and shape current thinking about the economic, political, cultural, security and religious challenges of our world. The programmes are taught by respected academics who are engaged in fieldwork and research which influences government policy and the lives of individuals across the globe. SOAS scholars grapple with the pressing issues confronting two-thirds of humankind today: democracy, development, economy, finance, public and corporate policy, human rights, migration, identity, legal systems, poverty, religion, and social change. Not one thing it doesn’t cover.
‘Only this week’ Shaun Bailey told us, ‘I read that in 2016, SOAS did not accept any white working-class boys into the university, and that is a disgrace’.
I was so heartened to hear what this MP said next. ‘It is worth noting that women in Rother Valley are in full support of empowering our local men. They see the everyday struggles of their fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, grandfathers and friends. They do not have the reductive mindset, pushed by many in the liberal metropolitan elite of the Labour party, in which men as a whole species are blamed for gender inequality. Instead, they recognise that while women still face substantial social inequality, and they absolutely do Shaun Bailey said, so do many of our men. He said he wanted to lift up everyone, men and women, rather than dragging them down and that growing up in Maltby or Dinnington should not mean that a person has a lesser chance of succeeding professionally, and it should not mean that they lack access to high-quality services and facilities. Unfortunately, he continued, too many men and boys in Rother Valley tell me exactly this: they feel abandoned, left behind and forgotten. It is in everybody’s interests that we raise our men’s aspirations and help them to use their inherent talents to reach their full potential. What a great note to end on and more next time.
Good guy of the week
I came across this week’s ‘good guy of the week’ on the BBC website; a 93-year-old care home resident who has spent his lockdown creating hand-drawn cards to raise money for charity.
Former GP, David Handford, has been unable to see his family for most of this year due to the coronavirus and has turned his hand to painting cards.
At his care home, Glebe House in South Gloucestershire, he began designing, drawing and painting cards for his fellow care home residents to send to their family and friends for birthdays because they weren’t able to get to the shops.
Lately David has turned his talents to creating Christmas cards; his family arranged for his Christmas cards to be professionally printed and have been helping him to sell them to support good causes.
To date, this dear man has sold 600 cards, in three designs, raising £350 for the Royal British Legion and the Willow Trust.
One of his designs features Father Christmas telling his reindeer off for not wearing his face mask, (I have to say that my sympathies lie with his reindeer); another sees Mary, Joseph and a donkey at the door of the care home being greeted by a care worker clad in PPE. I think we all know what happens to Mary, Joseph and their donkey next. My favourite of David’s cards is a simple bunch of red berries with beautiful green leaves.
Mr Handford told the BBC reporter, ‘the cards keep me busy. I do an hour or two a day drawing or painting and that gives me a sense of satisfaction, a feeling that I have done something worthwhile.
‘It has been a handicap not being able to see family, but I have been able to see them on a video call once a week and we do have a nice group here at the care home, we all get along.’
His son Mike, from Thornbury, said: ‘after Mum died a couple of years ago, Dad stopped painting, but I have encouraged him to paint this year and he has mastered his skills again and actually improved. Painting the cards has given him a real focus…it’s helped him perk up and the huge interest there has been in the cards has given him a real boost.’
My heart goes out to dear David Hanford, to his lovely cards, to his generosity and to his support for his fellow man. Have a very merry Christmas David.