EP 13: Hephaistos - Every God Has His Day

... Welcome to Episode 13. How many of us know the god Hephaistos? You may think of him as Vulcan… but that's the Roman rebranding of the god who was known by the ancient Greeks as the fire-god.

He was the god who turned his disability into a genius that wowed the gods and men alike. His seemingly endless creations were almost unimaginable. Robots called automatons roamed his workshops & Zeus constantly called on him to craft thunderbolts ...

Narrated by mythologist and best-selling author, Patrick Garner,  Garner's Greek Mythology is unlike any other Greek history series.  Here these divine beings are viewed as if they were anything but mythical...

If you love these podcasts, you'll also enjoy new stories about the gods in Garner's novel Homo Divinitas, now available as an audio book on Amazon.com and Audible.com.

Join us as our adventures continue! (Musical score includes selections from Fesliyan Studios and Free Sounds Library. Many thanks to both.)

Transcript

PODCAST #13 ... HEPHAISTOS - Every God Has His Day

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OUR ENTIRE EPISODE TODAY IS ABOUT HEPHAISTOS ... HEPHAISTOS? IT'S A NAME WE HARDLY KNOW. AND IT'S SPELLED A HALF A DOZEN WAYS. 

HEPHAISTOS WAS ONE OF THE 12 OLYMPIC GODS, PERHAPS THE SON OF THE ULTIMATE POWER COUPLE, ZEUS & HERA ... OR AS WE'LL SEE, PERHAPS NOT.

GREEKS REFERRED TO HIM AS THE SMITH, OR THE COPPERSMITH, OR THE LAME ONE. OR AS SIMPLY ... THE SHREWD ONE. 

OF ALL THE GREEK GODS, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WORTHY OF BEING CALLED A GENIUS ... I CALL HIM THE LEONARDO OF HIS TIME

BUT HEPHAISTOS? ... WHAT AN UNFAMILIAR NAME. LET'S TRY ANOTHER, ONE YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD. HOW ABOUT THE GOD VULCAN? 

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WELCOME TO EPISODE 13 OF GARNER'S GREEK MYTHOLOGY. I'M YOUR HOST, MYTHOLOGIST & BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, PATRICK GARNER. 

YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT MY NOVELS and THIS PODCAST AT PATRICKGARNERBOOKS.COM. 

I'LL NOTE THAT IN MY BOOK, HOMO DIVINITAS, HEPHAISTOS USES HIS ENDLESS INGENUITY TO HELP THE GREAT GODDESS FULFILL HER MISSION IN THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD.

AS ALWAYS, THIS SERIES WILL FOCUS ON ONE THING ... GREEK GODS, OF COURSE ...

HERE THE ANCIENT GODS ARE NOT CONSIDERED IMAGINARY. HARDLY. INSTEAD, THEY, LIKE YOU, ARE HERE, NOW ...

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SO, IN THIS EPISODE WE FEATURE HEPHAISTOS! 

A MOMENT AGO I MENTIONED VULCAN. THAT WAS THE NAME THE ROMANS GAVE HIM. THEY RENAMED ALMOST ALL THE GREEK GODS, SO NO SURPRISE THERE.

SOME SCHOLARS WHO STUDY THE ORIGIN OF WORDS SAY VULCÁNUS RELATES TO THE LATIN WORD FOR LIGHTNING, WHICH IN TURN RELATES TO FLAMES. 

AND FROM VULCAN, WE GET VOLCANO, WHICH MAKES SENSE AS HE'S THE GOD OF FIRE. IT'S ALL A BIT OBSCURE, BUT IN THE END IT WORKS.

ENOUGH, THOUGH, OF VULCAN: WE'LL REFER TO THIS INGENIOUS GOD AS HEPHAISTOS. AFTER ALL, IT'S WHAT THE GREEKS CALLED HIM FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND YEARS ...

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WHEN I INTRODUCED HEPHAISTOS, I REFERRED TO HIM AS THE LAME ONE. HOWEVER POLITICALLY INCORRECT THE PHRASE IS TODAY, THE ANCIENT GREEKS USED IT COMMONLY. 

THE POET HOMER REFERRED TO HIM AS "SHRIVELED OF FOOT." ANCIENT WRITERS DIFFERED ON WHAT CAUSED IT.

ONE STORY WAS THAT ZEUS FLUNG HIM FROM THE HEAVENS AS HEPHAISTOS TRIED TO RESCUE HIS MOTHER FROM ZEUS' ADVANCES.

HE FELL FOR AN ENTIRE DAY, FINALLY LANDING ON THE ISLAND OF LEMNOS IN THE NORTHERN AEGEAN SEA. HE TWISTED HIS FOOT AS HE LANDED. 

BUT HOMER ATTRIBUTED HIS WEAKNESS TO HIS BIRTH ... IF THAT'S THE CASE, IN THIS VERSION TOO HE'S THROWN FROM THE HEAVENS. 

BUT RATHER THAN BEING THROWN BY ZEUS, IT'S HIS MOTHER WHO GIVES HIM THE TOSS. WITH HIS CRIPPLED FOOT, HE LACKED THE PERFECTION SHE DEMANDED.

IN THAT VERSION HE FELL INTO THE SEA & WAS RAISED BY THETIS, WHO WAS A NEREID, A MINOR DIVINITY SOMEWHAT EQUIVALENT TO A MERMAID. 

THETIS WAS THE MOTHER OF ACHILLES, ONE OF THE GREATEST WARRIORS IN GREECE'S HISTORY. 

IN TIME HEPHAISTOS WAS TO MAKE ACHILLES A FAMOUS SHIELD WHICH HE USED IN THE TROJAN WAR ... MORE ON THAT IN A MINUTE.

REGARDLESS, UPON ARRIVING ON LEMNOS HEPHAISTOS CONSTRUCTED A MAGNIFICENT WORKSHOP BESIDE THE ISLAND'S VOLCANO. IT WAS MADE OF BRIGHT BRONZE & OAK & THERE HIS GENIUS BEGAN TO BLOSSOM ...

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BUT BEFORE WE SPEAK OF HIS ACHIEVEMENTS, LET'S STAY A BIT LONGER WITH HIS ORIGIN STORY. HIS BIRTH MOTHER WAS HERA, ZEUS' WIFE.

HOMER IMPLIES THAT ZEUS WAS HEPHAISTOS' FATHER. BUT THE POET HESIOD, WRITING ABOUT THE SAME TIME, SAYS OTHERWISE. 

HESIOD SAYS THAT HEPHAISTOS HAD NO FATHER, THAT HERA CONJURED HIM ON HER OWN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE MAGIC, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT.

YOU MAY REMEMBER THE STORY OF GAIA. WHEN SHE FIRST APPEARED, SHE WAS THE ORIGINAL & ONLY BEING. 

THROUGH A PROCESS CALLED PARTHENOGENESIS — WHICH IS REPRODUCTION WITHOUT FERTILIZATION — SHE CREATED URANUS, HER MALE PARTNER.

YEARS LATER, ACCORDING TO HESIOD, HERA BECAME INFURIATED WITH ZEUS WHEN HE GAVE BIRTH TO ATHENE WITHOUT HER. 

YOU MAY REMEMBER THAT ATHENE SPRANG FULLY GROWN FROM ZEUS' HEAD ... IN REVENGE HERA CREATED HEPHAISTOS TO SHOW ZEUS THAT TWO COULD PLAY AT THIS GAME. 

AS YOU CAN SEE, HIS BIRTH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE, & EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE CONSTANT RIVALRY BETWEEN HUSBAND & WIFE.

IT'S HORRENDOUS, REALLY. EITHER HEPHAISTOS WAS THE HATED CHILD OF ZEUS & HERA. OR HE WAS THE CHILD OF HERA ALONE, CREATED SOLELY AS DIVINE PAYBACK & THEN SWIFTLY GIVEN THE BOOT ...

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WHATEVER THE REASON, HEPHAISTOS WAS EXILED FROM OLYMPUS, TOSSED WITHOUT CEREMONY FROM THE HEAVENS. 

BUT HE GOT HIS REVENGE, EVENTUALLY RETURNING IN FULL POWER & ON HIS OWN TERMS. HOW DID HE DO IT? HE MADE HERA A GOLDEN THRONE WHICH SHE FOUND IRRESISTIBLE.

WHEN SHE SAT ON IT SHE BECAME UNEXPECTEDLY BOUND TO THE SEAT. IT WAS AS IF SHE WERE LASHED DOWN BY INVISIBLE TIES.

THE OTHER GODS BEGGED HEPHAISTOS TO RETURN TO OLYMPUS TO RELEASE HER, BUT HE REFUSED, SAYING, "WHY? I HAVE NO MOTHER IN ALL OF EXISTENCE."

AT LAST DIONYSUS, THE GOD OF WINE, WENT DOWN TO LEMNOS AND CHALLENGED THE GOD OF FIRE TO A DRINKING CONTEST ... THE TWO GOT INCREASINGLY DRUNK. 

DIONYSUS, REPUTED TO BE AS STRONG AS A BULL, THREW THE INTOXICATED HEPHAISTOS ONTO THE BACK OF A DONKEY & HAULED HIM UP TO OLYMPUS.

THERE HE WAS PERSUADED IN HIS COMPROMISED STATE TO FREE HIS MOTHER FROM HER MAGICAL BOUNDS. 

IN RETURN, ZEUS ALLOWED HIM TO STAY ... IN SHORT ORDER, HEPHAISTOS CREATED A SECOND WORKSHOP WITHIN OLYMPUS' VAST ROOMS ...

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WHAT DID HEPHAISTOS CREATE THAT MADE HIM SO FAMOUS? HIS INVENTIONS WERE SEEMINGLY ENDLESS & HIS INGENUITY UNRIVALED. 

HOMER WROTE THAT HEPHAISTOS MAINTAINED 20 BELLOWS BETWEEN HIS FORGE ON LEMNOS & THE LARGER VERSION ON OLYMPUS.

IN THOSE WORKSHOPS, HE CREATED THE STAFF & SHIELD OF ZEUS, THE WINGED HELMET & SANDALS OF HERMES, & SECRET LOCKING DOORS FOR HERA'S BEDROOM CHAMBERS.

I ALREADY MENTIONED THE FAMOUS SHIELD OF ACHILLES, CARRIED BY THE WARRIOR ONTO THE BATTLEFIELD AT TROY. IT WAS MADE OF GOLD, BRONZE, TIN & SILVER.

NOT ONLY WAS IT IMPENETRABLE, IT DEPICTED THE EARTH, THE SKY, THE MOON & THE CONSTELLATIONS. IT DISPLAYED VAST FIELDS, HERDS OF CATTLE & SHEEP, & PEOPLE DANCING.

AND IT DEPICTED THESE THINGS SO SUCCESSFULLY THAT THOSE WHO SAW IT SAID IT SHOWED, IN PHOTO-REALISTIC DETAIL, THE ENTIRETY OF THE KNOWN WORLD.

HIS INVENTIONS WENT ON & ON. FOR INSTANCE, HE CREATED THE GOLDEN CHARIOT THAT HELIOS, THE SUN GOD, RODE EACH DAY IN AN ARC ACROSS THE SKY.

WHAT ELSE? HEPHAISTOS MADE ZEUS' THUNDERBOLTS. EACH WAS CRAFTED LIKE A MISSLE TO DO MAXIMUM HARM WHATEVER THEY HIT.

HE MADE SPECIALIZED TOOLS FOR HERAKLES, ARROWS FOR EROS & THE CROWN WORN BY ARIADNE WHEN SHE MARRIED DIONYSUS.

AND REMEMBER PROMETHEUS? HE WAS THE TITAN WHO GAVE MAN FIRE. IN A FURY, ZEUS CHAINED HIM TO A CLIFF FOR ETERNITY ... & ORDERED HEPHAISTOS TO MAKE THE CHAINS.

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IN AN EARLIER EPISODE I MENTIONED PANDORA. YOU MAY RECALL SHE — & NOT THE BIBLICAL EVE — WAS THE FIRST WOMAN ... SHE WAS SCULPTED BY HEPHAISTOS OUT OF CLAY.

ASTONISHINGLY, HE ALSO MADE ROBOTS. THE GREEKS CALLED THESE AUTOMATONS OR AUTOMATA. THEY WERE CONSIDERED BOTH INTELLIGENT & INDUSTRIOUS.

SOME WERE HELPERS WHO WIELDED HAMMERS AT HIS FORGE OR CARRIED HEAVY OBJECTS.

OTHERS OPERATED HIS MIGHTY BELLOWS, KEEPING THEM FED WITH FUEL & THE METALS HE REQUIRED TO CRAFT ARMOR & MACHINERY.

INTERESTINGLY, A NUMBER OF THE AUTOMATONS WERE MAIDENS MADE OF GOLD, YOUNG WOMEN WHO COULD SING, SPEAK & CONVERSE AT WILL. 

BUT HE HARDLY STOPPED AT THAT ... HE ALSO CRAFTED BRONZE BULLS, FIRE-BREATHING HORSES, BARKING GUARD DOGS & GIANT EAGLES, ALL MADE AS GIFTS FOR FAVORED GODS OR MORTAL KINGS.

IN MY BOOK, HOMO DIVINITAS, HE EVEN CREATES AN ALTERNATE WORLD OF MYSTERIES THAT ALLOWS THE GREAT GODDESS TO ACHIEVE HER VISION.

HOMER WROTE IN THE ODYSSEY OF A CERTAIN PHOENICIAN PALACE, 

 "On each side of the door were gold and silver watchdogs, deathless for ever and never aging, which Hephaistos with his wit and cunning had fashioned as guardians for the great house."

HEPHAISTOS WAS AS SKILLED WITH WEAPONS AS HE WAS WITH HIS CREATIONS. REMEMBER THAT ATHENE WAS BORN WEARING ARMOR, & SPRANG FULLY GROWN FROM ZEUS' HEAD?

WELL, IT WAS HEPHAISTOS WHO SWUNG THE BATTLE-AXE THAT SPLIT OPEN ZEUS' HEAD. 

AND IT WAS AT THE MOMENT OF ATHENE'S BIRTH THAT HEPHAISTOS BEGAN ... WHAT WAS TO BE A STRANGE & OFTEN AWKWARD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GODDESS ...

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I SAY 'AWKWARD.' OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT HIS TIES WITH ATHENE. HIS MOST MEMORABLE INTERACTION WITH THE VIRGIN GODDESS WAS DRIVEN BY ... LUST ...

IT WAS DURING HIS PURSUIT OF HER ONE AFTERNOON THAT ONE OF THE FIRST ATHENIAN KINGS WAS CREATED ...

HERE'S THE GIST OF THE STORY ... ATHENE APPEARED AT HIS FORGE DURING THE TROJAN WAR WITH A ROUTINE REQUEST: SHE NEEDED SOME WEAPONS.

HEPHAISTOS, SEEING HER BRIGHT BEAUTY, WAS OVERCOME BY DESIRE. POSEIDON HAD SET HIM UP, SAYING THAT ATHENE WAS COMING & HOPED TO BE WOOED BY THE FIRE GOD.

HEPHAISTOS TRIED TO SEDUCE HER THEN & THERE ... SHE FLED. HE PURSUED HER TO A FIELD NEAR PRESENT DAY ATHENS. SHE GOT AWAY ... 

BUT FROM THE GROUND WHERE THEY STRUGGLED, A CHILD WHO WOULD BE NAMED ERICHTHONIUS SPRANG UP. ATHENE DISCOVERED THE BOY AFTER HEPHAISTOS LEFT THE SCENE.

UNWILLING TO ABANDON HIM, SHE LEFT HIM IN A BASKET ON THE ACROPOLIS IN THE CARE OF THE KING'S ELDEST DAUGHTER.

ATHENE'S INSTRUCTIONS WERE SIMPLE: "GUARD THE SACRED BASKET & DON'T LOOK UNDER THE LID." 

THE DAUGHTER'S CURIOSITY OVERCAME HER & — JOINED BY HER MOTHER & SISTER — THE THREE PEEKED IN.

WHEN THEY DID SO THEY SAW A SNAKE COILED AROUND THE DIVINE INFANT ... & THEY SAW SOMETHING ELSE ... SOMETHING ... ELSE ...AS WELL. 

WE CAN'T BE SURE WHAT IT WAS, BUT IT DROVE THEM INSTANTLY MAD. IN THEIR FRENZY THEY THREW THEMSELVES OFF THE ACROPOLIS, TUMBLING 100s OF FT TO THEIR DEATHS ...

THIS TALE IS SIMILAR TO THAT OF PANDORA'S BOX ... IT'S INTERESTING THAT BOTH PANDORA & ERICHTHONIUS INVOLVE HEPHAISTOS.

IN PANDORA'S CASE, SHE TOO WAS TOLD NOT TO LIFT THE LID. WHEN SHE DID, ALL THE EVILS THAT NOW BESET THE WORLD FLEW OUT IN A HORRIBLE ROAR.

PERHAPS THESE STORIES ARE A REOCCURRING LESSON TO MORTALS ABOUT DISOBEYING DIVINE ORDERS ...  BUT REGARDLESS, ERICHTHONIUS GREW TO MANHOOD & USURPED THE KING.

IN DOING SO, HE FOUNDED A BLOODLINE THAT CONTINUED THROUGH THE ELITE FAMILIES OF ATHENS FOR MORE THAN A MILLENNIUM.

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IN CELEBRATION OF THIS HALLOWED ANCESTRY, THE ATHENIANS BUILT A MAGNIFICENT TEMPLE TO HEPHAISTOS AND ATHENE. 

BEGUN IN 445 B.C. IT'S NOW CALLED THE TEMPLE OF HEPHAISTOS & IS THE BEST-PRESERVED ANCIENT TEMPLE IN THE WORLD.

I SAW IT ONE MORNING IN THE AGORA KOLONOS IN THE HEART OF ATHENS. IT NO LONGER HELD THE CELEBRATED BRONZE STATUES OF HEPHAISTOS & ATHENE. 

THOSE HAVE DISAPPEARED, BUT THE ARCHITECTURE REMAINS A GLORIOUS TRIBUTE TO THE TWO DIVINITIES WHO PLAYED SUCH A CRUCIAL ROLE IN THE FOUNDING OF ATHENS.

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IN AN EARLIER EPISODE I MENTIONED THAT HEPHAISTOS WAS MARRIED TO APHRODITE.

HOW DID THIS GOD WHO WAS FAR FROM PHYSICALLY PERFECT MARRY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GODDESS OF ALL?

WHEN HERA WAS SNARED BY HEPHAISTOS ON THAT GOLDEN THRONE, ZEUS WAS SO DISTRESSED THAT HE PROMISED THAT WHOMEVER COULD RELEASE HIS WIFE COULD MARRY THE LOVELY APHRODITE,

WHEN HEPHAISTOS APPEARED IN HIS INTOXICATED STUPOR, HE RELEASED HERA BUT, TO ZEUS' SHOCK, HAD THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO IMMEDIATELY CALL FOR APHRODITE'S HAND IN MARRIAGE. 

ZEUS HAD IMAGINED SHE MIGHT MARRY THE HANDSOME APOLLO, OR THE STEALTHY HERMES. BUT HE COULDN'T RETRACT HIS WORD, & SO HE GRANTED HEPHAISTOS' WISH.

BUT MARRIAGE DOES NOT ENSURE HAPPINESS. APHRODITE DALLIED SECRETLY WITH ARES FOR MANY YEARS. 

THE TWO EVEN HAD CHILDREN, ALL OF WHOM BECAME TROUBLE OF ONE KIND OR ANOTHER. WAS HEPHAISTOS JEALOUS OF THE INFAMOUS AFFAIR? HIS ACTIONS INDICATE HE WAS. 

IN THE SAME WAY THAT HE HAD CAPTURED HERA IN THE GOLDEN THRONE, HE CAUGHT THE TWO LOVERS IN BED IN AN INVISIBLE NET.

HOMER WRITES THAT WHEN THE TRAP CLOSED, HEPHAISTOS BELLOWED TO ZEUS & THE OTHERS, "Come! You will see the pair of lovers now as they lie embracing in my bed ..."

THEN IN A CHOKED SOB, HE CRIED, "... the sight of them makes me sick at heart."

IN HER NAKEDNESS, APHRODITE BEGGED HER HUSBAND TO RELEASE HER ... TO HEPHAISTOS' DELIGHT, THE GODS ALL LAUGHED.

EVENTUALLY HE LET THE TWO GO. PERHAPS THAT INCIDENT WAS WHAT DROVE HIM TO CREATE HIS GOLDEN MAIDENS. 

AFTER ALL, THEY COULD SING & ENTERTAIN HIM AS APHRODITE WOULD NOT ... INDEED, THE FIRE GOD HAD MANY WAYS TO GET REVENGE ...

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AND THERE WAS MORE TO HEPHAISTOS. HE WAS ALSO A BRILLIANT ARCHITECT. HE DESIGNED & BUILT ALL OF THE MANSIONS USED BY THE OTHER GODS.

IN HIS ENDLESS INGENUITY HE BUILT THE UNDERWATER PALACE USED BY POSEIDON WITH ITS IMMENSE HORSE STABLES & ROLLING FIELDS, ALL SEALED FROM THE SEAS.

HIS CLEVERNESS EASILY MADE UP FOR HIS DISPLEASING APPEARANCE. AND WHEN I SAY 'DISPLEASING,' I HARDLY EXAGGERATE. THE OTHER GODS OPENLY CALLED HIM UGLY. 

BUT NONE OF THIS SEEMED TO BOTHER WOMEN.

HE WAS VARIOUSLY MARRIED TO A GODDESS & TO ONE OF THE THREE GRACES. HE ALSO HAD AFFAIRS WITH NYMPHS & MORTAL WOMEN, ALL OF WHOM BORE HIM SONS & DAUGHTERS.

HE WAS MASTERFUL IN WHATEVER HE DID. AND UNTIL LEONARDO DA VINCI WAS BORN IN 1452, NO MAN EVEN APPROACHED HIS ORIGINALITY.

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WHEN ROME FINALLY CONQUERED GREECE IN 146 B.C., THE VICTORS SET ABOUT REWRITING HISTORY. THE ROMANS PORTRAYED HIM AS A FAR MORE VIOLENT GOD THAN HE WAS. HE WAS NAMED VULCAN OF THE VOLCANOS.

HIS FORGES WERE NOW ASSOCIATED WITH MOUNT AETNA, A DANGEROUS VOLCANO IN ITALY. THE VOLCANO'S DESTRUCTIVE FURY BECAME HIS.

BUT THE ROMANS HAD NO MORE POWER TO CHANGE HIS CHARACTER THAN HERA HAD TO RELEASE HERSELF FROM HEPHAISTOS' MAGICAL THRONE.

FINALLY HE, LIKE SO MANY OF THE OLYMPIANS, SLIPPED AWAY. THE ROMANS COULD USE HIS ATTRIBUTES & CLAIM HIM AS THEIRS, BUT HE WAS TIRED OF IT ALL. 

HE WAS A GREEK. HIS INVENTIONS WERE FOR GREEK GODS AND FOR GREEK KINGS & FOR GREEK HEROES.

AS YOU'LL READ IN MY BOOK, HOMO DIVINITAS, HE RE-EMERGES IN OUR TIME ON THE ISLAND OF DELOS, SHREWD & AS INVENTIVE AS EVER ... 

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IN OUR NEXT EPISODE WE MEET THE WINE GOD, DIONYSUS, WHO IN HIS FLAMBOYANCE BROUGHT WINE & THEATRE TO THE WORLD ... 

AND GAVE WOMEN ECSTASY AS THEY DANCED WITH HIM ON MOONLIT NIGHTS ...