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On today's episode of The Thrive Forward podcast, my friends, it is gift giving season. And as we round out the year, we've talked about a lot of really, really heavy topics. But I want to talk about something a little bit more lighthearted today. And that's giving not just from a financial standpoint, but how do we give gifts and the true meaning of giving. So how do you give to self? How do you give to your partner? How do you give to your kids? How do you give to family? How do you give to your team? How do you give to your community. So join us today on our episode of The Thrive chord podcast where we dig into and pull back the wrapping paper and sees what's inside the box of giving this year in 2020.

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I love a good gift. I love giving a really good gift. Something that is important to me is seeing that smile on who's who's ever face. I am delivering that gift to like a good bow maybe some shiny, crisp wrapping paper. Although I will tell you Jim Forman wins hands down in our household as the best gift wrapper. It could be that he is a tad bit anal retentive about how everything gets folded perfectly. And you know, all of those things. Anyway, I love you, dear. But you're the best gift wrapper. That being said, I want to tell you a little bit of a story around gift giving this year at least in our household. And this is something that has transpired over time. One of my dear clients and I once had a conversation around the holiday season. And we started talking about giving in a sense that was not this materialistic, you know, Barbie Dreamhouse, which my girls did get. And they've gotten kind of some of those, you know, top Year gifts. Every year, I've gone into these like shopping sprees. And I said, you know, I just don't like at the end of the day that provides just a

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element of temporary joy. And as I give a gift, I want something, there's a little bit more long lasting, of joy, I want to be able to give that joy that whenever somebody picks something up, that little fire comes into their belly or that warmness in their heart, or that giggle and smile if it's something funny, or just to have that reminder of loving themselves. Now, I think we'll talk a little bit about who are those people in our lives that we give to. And I thought the most important person that we should start with is, how do you give to yourself? I'm not always good at this, my friends. In fact, celebrating my achievements is something I am constantly working at and working towards. I was recently asked, How do I celebrate things and you know, some people pop bottles of champagne, and I'm not really that big of a drinker. I like a good glass of bubbly ever so often. But I do have a really good sweet tooth. And I love me some macaroons. So I thought you know what, maybe every time I hit a goal, or I do something that is brave and maybe sets something apart, then something I thought I was going to be able to do, I'll buy myself a back of macaroons, and I'll sit in my jammies in front of the fire unless it's summertime, then I'll sit outside on my patio.

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And I'll eat these macaroons enjoy. But it's not about the actual macaroons. It's about the celebration that I'm giving myself and the time and the remembrance of how it feels to be in that moment. In fact, I was talking to my coach the other day, and we talked about just breathing in those moments, and being able to tie an emotion or a feeling to that specific thing. So while I know especially during this holiday season, hashtag self care is going to be a crazy ad that's probably hitting your social media. Whatever it might be, that you see and different ads I asked you to think about what is it for you that really provides that warmth, that recognition that you so deserve? And maybe it is a bubble bath for you my friend. I like a good bubble bath too. Maybe it's working out. But I asked you this too. Are there things that you're putting off for yourself?

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Are you putting off

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scheduling that therapy appointment? Are you putting off scheduling that doctor's appointment? Are you putting off insert whatever it is balancing that budget, asking for that raise, you know, doing the things that really are truly self care. If you are in a position where you need to look at the bigger picture from a life standpoint, maybe it is that you brush off the dust on that resume, and you start applying for jobs that recognize you for your talents, and what's important to you. So while a bubble bath might be good, what are you going to give yourself the season? Beyond just the bubble bath or the box of macaroons? You see, the greatest gift I gave myself was two years ago, when I kept hearing the word no. And I wanted to hear yes. And finally, I allowed myself to be the place where I say yes,

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the place where I get to live outside of the box and do the things that I want to do. That doesn't mean that I'm not grateful. I'm absolutely grateful. But I knew what I needed to be able to spread my wings, and not feel like that caged bird that our lovely Maya Angelou talks about. So, my friends, as we dig into this episode, the first person I want you to honor is yourself. How will you in this year of celebrating and giving? give to yourself? Because if you are not whole, you cannot do those things for other people in your life. So do one small thing for yourself today. And then think about what are those other things that just make you feel

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in your heart grounded and centered? That self care. So

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we talk about yourself, let's talk about the other people that are important in your life. Maybe it's your partner, maybe it's your kids, maybe it's your family community, those wonderful teams that you lead? Well, I had a recent conversation with Jim and you know, marriage isn't easy.

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Marriage is not easy. Marriage and parenthood are some of the hardest things I've ever done in the world. They make you vulnerable. They make you grow. They make you dig very deep in a bucket of patience. And

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sometimes there's lows, and you've got to figure out what brought you back together. What Riquet like rekindling that love and joy. And recently my husband asked me well, why did you say yes?

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Yes to his proposal, yes to marrying him. And the reality is, we were forgetting the immense amount of joy and laughter We brought to each other, the adventure, my chaos, his structure, had come in like the Tasmanian devil, he's much more relaxed and in control sometimes.

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And for us, it was laughter. And so we went out on a walk with our kids. And I jumped on his back to have him give me a piggyback ride. I tried to remember what it was that brought us together that joy, that endless so it's not always the, you know, ribbed turtleneck sweater or the kitchen appliance or the car mats that you buy each other as Christmas presents under the tree. But what is it that is that time is that joy is that laughter that brought you back together? Jim Foreman and I love to dance. So shortly after that walk, he came in the kitchen, I had asked Alexa to play 90s music and instead now she's gonna

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Alexa, I'm not talking to you right now. It's amazing how those finance are those little technological gadgets, things that they can enter our lives whenever we want to. Anyway, we asked her to play 90s music, I was thinking, you know, 90s Hip Hop r&b 90s country came on which wasn't really my jam in the 90s but it was Jim's and he's like literally singing every lyric there possibly is and grabs me pose me close. And we dance in the kitchen. You guys. Those moments are better than anything that you could put in a box.

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And so, as I said it to you

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Beginning? What are those gifts that spread joy and long lasting elements? Talking to your partner about what are the things that they really want? What do they desire to be able to have together? And separately, you know, maybe it's time, you know, I wanted something that was just mine and time to be able to do other things that weren't him weren't my job weren't the kids? And what else could I be doing? How could I spend more time with my girlfriends? How can I take care of myself a little bit more, I love getting my nails done. I love the gals that do my nails, we sit and laugh and talk about life and all the things. And that that was something that I had expressed that were important things for me. So if there isn't any box under the Christmas tree for me this year, all I look forward to is laughing, and dancing, and experiencing joy with my partner. And if you can put those in a box for me, I'll gladly open them. But I asked you to think about what is it that brought you together with your partner?

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How do you Rekindle that love again, if maybe it's a little burnt or outdated, or stale? And what brings you both joy? Try to get back to those elements of what is so important to you.

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In my household, the next grouping of folks that I would talk about would be my kids or your kids, the people in our lives. I have some very dear friends. And last year, they asked like, are we doing gifts for our kids? Like there's like three of us and we always get together celebrate the holidays. Know, the gifts were given as all of us getting together. I don't mean some plastic Barbie toys situation. My kids just need time. They need time with their friends. They need time to laugh and experience joy. And I say that tongue in cheek because I was the mom that loaded the bottom of the Christmas tree with every present my kids ever asked for. And just a few weeks ago, my oldest Giuliana and I were sitting at the countertop. Jim and Savannah were at hockey. And it was just her and I I was actually in the midst of booking our cabin for our summer vacation. And I looked over to her and I said baby

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for Christmas this year do you want because that's what we celebrate in our house? Do you want presence? Or would you rather have a trip? Would you like to go on an experience? Maybe we can do one gift? And then we would go do something as a family like an experience. Maybe we would go on a trip somewhere. You know, big smile, whatever.

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I just got done watching like a probably like some movie and they traveled and that's something we've been missing because of COVID. And she's like, Yeah, Mom, I don't want any presence. I would love to be able to go on a trip with you can I have a camera so that we could take pictures. She like loves, loves, loves being able to create, and having those life experiences she goes back to and talks about all the time. And so I think it's really important to understand who your kids are? What are their passions? What's important to them? Have that conversation with them? If they want, you know, do they want all of this stuff? Or would they just like maybe a date night with you every week where it's just the two of you, or time as a family. And as we get so busy and hockey and basketball and gymnastics and chess club in Spanish and we're driving here and driving there. We're going to work we're doing these things. It's time my kids just want time. They wanted to be able to sit together and have those experiences together. That That trip is something now that turning into a bucket list of places that we would like to go together. It created a great opportunity for a great conversation that I just will never forget. And I hope she doesn't either. But sometimes it's more than just that toy that will only last for a moment in time. It might get tired, it might retire. It might get donated to somebody else. But there are all those other experiences that Colossae lifetime. So how do you give that to your kids?

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And that's where I transcend into that extended family. Oh my goodness, friends. I'm sure you got a gift exchange. Maybe it's a

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White Elephant gifts that you've got to get. Maybe you get everybody in your extended family a gift every season.

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I know we do. We get all the nieces and nephews the gift we get my sister in law brother in law, my brother, my sister and mom and nephew like we do it all up.

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What does everybody really want?

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Perhaps it's time together.

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I know you're coming up with this like theme throughout this whole episode on time. My friends, I did this shortly before COVID. I have a dear friend of mine who's one of the videographers that we use for that. But I met her in some entrepreneurial work that we did. But she got to capture these moments for my parents.

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My in laws, my sister in law every year we get together and we make cookies. And this happened to be at our house and there was a gopher game on we're big gopher fans. And we had the capacity for her to come in and create this moving portrait she calls it and this video that allowed us to preserve a moment in time. And you see my mom and I will cherish this moment, my kids will cherish it going forward to be able to share that. That was a moment with their grandfather, their grandpa Mike, their Jeep, ah Vevey won't always have because his life in his days are limited with us. He won't live into his 90s like my grandfather will. Likely I'm again, I'm not the keeper of time. But

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now we have this moving portrait that I get to pass on to my kids, and was so fun to be able to do, because it captured that tradition and something that was so important to our family. So fun to be able to do a time together that we really cherish spending. I think, you know, a something that we make a tradition every year is we give the grandparents portraits of the kids so that they can have you know, those awkward school pictures on grandma's wall as they go in to grandma's house. And it's a memory. It's something that's there. And for me, I think it's about being able to explore what are those things that are really important, both sets of grandparents, I mean, their grandkids are everything to them, they just love it eat it up. They can't wait for a FaceTime or call or an opportunity to hang out and have a sleepover that that stuff is beyond any

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thing that we could get somebody or give to somebody. So what is it that we we really need maybe it's that time maybe that's that tradition of spending together time together, instead of the fruit cocktail or the fruit salad or that white elephant gift that cost you 20 bucks, and then it's just going to go in somebody's junk drawer. What is it that you can do that is giving more than just that thing?

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Wow, friends, it is gift giving season and gifting can be more and as I talk about experiences, I have an experience coming up for you. In January of 2022. It is not for you to sit on anymore, my friends, it is time for you to pull a seat up at the table and join us for our wealth circles that are launching just shortly at the end of January. We want you to be a part of this circle that's growing and ever changing and robust to empower yourselves from a financial education piece from an a connection with others and being able to create an impact with nonprofit sponsorship every single month. You see you're not going to pay me you're going to make a donation to a nonprofit while in turn receiving empowering education and connecting with others and recognizing for yourself how do you Thrive Forward financially in 2022 you can sign up and join us come on pull up your seat at the table by going to forethought planning.com backslash wealth circles. Now, back to our episode on giving.

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I last year we we did you know in terms of things what is it that you could do to personalize if you're going to give us a thing to somebody? Is it something that you could make a little bit more personal? We did blink it last year for a few people in our in our lives. We made my mom My mom and the girls have had this love of Olaf from Frozen. And we took

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this image of Olaf and we put it on a blank

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Get from my mom and it says warm hugs. And my mom just like, it lit up. It was everything to her during COVID My mom couldn't hug her grandchildren, it was something that, you know, we were very, very cautious on. But my mom, we would drop groceries off for my mom and dad and we would leave them outside. And she would leave all off on the front steps, this big stuff Oh, laugh in a chair on the front steps. And he said, waiting for my warm hug. And so it was this element of taking memories and being able to make them into a thing for the person that we love. Again, just thinking outside of the box, making that that wish list or something that's important to somebody what is what does that look like? What does giving really look like? I also think you put ourselves a lot of pressure. I talked about this in a previous podcast on being the being the giver and having the best thing to give to somebody are the perfect thing. And perfect doesn't exist. Trust me, I've been trying on what Ravel that for a long time and still am working on it.

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The reality is it just doesn't exist. And the best gift you can give your family is financial freedom. And so if you can't afford to buy all the things, then don't give your time. Give your energy, give something that's more important and just have that honest conversation with you know what, we're just gonna step in a different direction this year so that we can honor ourselves and honor you going forward.

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I also want to turn this giving to your family thing into a little bit of a different scenario we give to we talked about giving an our previous November episode of the podcast and I want you to think about giving in the element of Hey, grandma, grandpa, you've got these great portfolios that you've grown and this wealth that you've consumed in generations that you want to pass on to? How are they going to experience that with you?

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Some of your kids don't want the money, but they want the experiences. So I challenge you to think about your wealth vision and what is important to you, not just for parents, but for grandparents and other individuals, great aunts, aunties, those who are well established in their wealth journey. How are you looking at it as a gift beyond just what it is that you're giving in that timeframe, you can go back to that episode, we talked a little bit further about those impacts that you can make. The last two pieces I want to talk to you about on today's episode are giving to your community. Again, you can go back to that episode, or you can tune in next week when we talk about volunteering, and giving not only just a gift in an element of financial but a gift in your time sponsoring a family in need during these holidays hack that could be a great activity for your kids and your family and your partner to be able to do together and making an impact in somebody else's life. I think you can go back and listen to a couple of those episodes and find some more elements of how you could give what are the strategies that maybe you want to consider before writing that check or passing along that security or stock? What are the elements that you should be considering in that one category that I think gets lost a little bit when we start to think about giving is giving to our team. I love being able to say that I have a team now as I grow forth that planning and our mission forward financial planning firm. I I love saying that. And those people for me are the people that helped me create this vision of my dreams. And there is nothing more wonderful than that. That being said, Our team's work really hard for us, as leaders and have for the last 18 months and it has been draining and it has been hard. And there have been late nights and schedules that have to be rearranged. Because again, we are balancing all of these different things that are happening in our lives. Maybe it's a gift this year of a bonus. Maybe it's a day off. Maybe it's something to show them a level of appreciation, something that's personal to them. Again, maybe it's an experience, I think being able to know your team, and what's important to them. I talked to this about I talked to this with one of my girlfriends who's a leader and she talks all the time about like, my team doesn't really like happy hours. That's not a thing they want to do. They'd all just prefer to go home and be with their families. She knows her team so well. And it's so wonderful for her to be able to be that connected and know what are the things that people want

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What is it that you can give your team this holiday? I also think how can you give to your clients, it is something that man, my dream would not be possible not only with my team, but not only for my clients, the people who put their trust in me to do their planning, and their wealth management and their investing and help them sort through their behaviors from a financial aspect. And even more sometimes I joke that sometimes I should put therapists outside my office. Now, I'm not a resident, or licensed therapist, but we have deep conversations in my office, and we talk about things and I would not be able to get to do these types of things for you, or what I do. And so every year, I really try to be able to give back to my clients in a way that shows them how grateful I am to them. So my friends, I ask as we round out this episode of The Thrive Forward podcast, how will you give to yourself, give to your partner, give to your kids, give to your family, give to your community, give to your team and your clients to be able to show a level of gratitude, something that provides a lasting joy, not just a moment in time, and even if a moment in time, impact beyond just something that is there and given asks you to think about what are the impacts? If you are choosing to buy a thing for somebody? How are you making that impact to someone else in your life? How is that making an impact elsewhere? What are the companies you're purchasing from? And are they making a responsible impact in our Earth in our world and the people that they employ? I talk about that quite frequently. But it's important for us to think about those things as we strive and Thrive Forward in our future.

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My friends, if you want to, we would love to see the things that you are giving and how you are thriving in this holiday season. You can simply just tag us or adapt hashtag Thrive Forward, don't forget the n there. M f o r e, w AR D I know we're a little different around these parts. But as you go into this holiday season and you're living in this space ask you to not to forget those things as you go forward into 2022 either. You don't have to just give at one time of the year. It can be a constant giving throughout the year especially to yourself and the ones that you love so dearly. As I always say my friends you are worthy of well.

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The views expressed here are those of the participants and not those of forethought planning advisors py or LPL. Financial all investing involves risk including loss of principal no strategy assures success or protects against loss securities are offered through LPL Financial and member of FINRA and SIPC advisory services offered through advisors pride and SEC registered investment advisor LPL Financial Advisors pride forethought planning and the guests of the Thrive Forward podcast are separate and unaffiliated parties

Transcribed by https://otter.ai