Called By God Podcast
Called by GOD with Nicson Silvanie & Adnie Gaudin is a podcast that will inspire, encourage, educate, and help people from all walks of life. Each episode will consist of a Christian sharing the inspiring testimony of their obedience to God's call. What ensues is an authentic and transparent spiritual conversation with laughter, tears, and more.
Called By God Podcast
254. Brotherhood & Accountability, Part 2
Brotherhood is a divine antidote to the isolation systems working to pull men apart in today's world. We explore how the cultural demand for men to display constant strength prevents them from acknowledging weakness and seeking connection.
• Christ himself demonstrated human vulnerability in the Garden of Gethsemane, showing that weakness is not a failure of manhood but part of humanity
• Modern systems force men to divide limited time between God, family, work, and self, often leaving no room for brotherhood
• Men often don't respond to outreach from brothers because they haven't accepted their own weakness
• The paradox that a woman can make mistakes and still be a woman, but society tells men they're "not men" if they show weakness
• Aging naturally reveals our physical limitations, creating opportunity for inner strength to grow
• Intentional brotherhood requires fighting against isolation through regular connection, not just annual events
• When men unite with singular purpose, they create powerful protection and strength for themselves and others
• Responding to brothers' texts and calls works both ways—don't just reach out when you need something
Remember that Jesus Christ is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and through Him, we can embrace both our humanity and our strength.
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It's okay to look at Christ in that moment, and what the scripture is trying to show you is that he's human. Yeah, and I think that might be the lesson for us men who wrestle with it. Listen, you're weak. What does that mean? It means that you're the brotherhood once again isolation. You know that stuff starts happening. Same thing in the church.
Speaker 1:Now, right, and I know you focus, we're focusing on men. Yeah, yes, sir. Well, listen, these systems are out here and it's hard, bro, we got to go make that money. You got to go take care of your business, handle your business Systems. That's pulling us apart, right. So the challenge is for us as men. Right, in general, you talk about brotherhood. Right, how do we be there for each other? Because we're experiencing these same things, right, you get what I'm saying when these systems are pulling us apart. Man, how you been man. It's been a while. Yeah, I know, man Working. You know what I mean. And then we, like you said, we went back to, we went to that new saying which I like now Life, be life.
Speaker 2:That's what I said. That's what I'm saying. It's not intentional. I like how you're saying systems, but go ahead.
Speaker 1:The challenge is for us to. You know, we got to fight back against it. Do you understand what I'm saying? Even in the midst of having to work two jobs, three jobs, we got to figure this thing out to where. Hey, bro, we got gotta be there for our brother, you know what I'm saying yeah, we gotta be there for our brothers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I know it's a tactic and a strategy of the enemy, because once you pull, once you pull those men, you imagine what, what could be done. Yeah, that's that's why I went to the Million man March, because that that was phenomenal, bro. Like, if you really, you really think about men, you get a group of men together, right, just just just a group of men. I remember listening to a young lady one time and she was talking about you know, we always be picking on the Muslim brothers with the bean pies and the bow tie and all that stuff. But she was like, she's like I always respected them because you will always see a bunch of men and them fellas in their fellowship where they, where they, where they kind of band together.
Speaker 1:And you know, I really looked at, I was like she got a point. She got a point, she got a point and she said something that was so profound to me and it was not only what she said, but it was how she said it. She was like, whenever I see them, she gets an overwhelming, an overwhelming sense of protection that she feels seeing, you know, about 20, 30 brothers lined up together. You see what I'm saying yeah, that's like it really escapes me trying, I'm really trying to capture, you know words, to be able to articulate that. But, man, if you got, trust me, when you have a bunch of men with a singular focus and purpose standing together, man, that's some power.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trust me, that's some power right there, um yeah, I believe in um, iron sharpens iron and, and you know, I think, what we can do as men, um, we need to respond. Respond Because, like, so for instance, like most men may get a text and I'm busy right now, I can't Because sometimes, like you know, you have this brother, especially like in a church, you fellowship with individuals, you pray, and then you try to instill words of affirmation, encouragement your brothers, but when you don't hear from them, of affirmation, encouragement in your brothers, but when you don't hear from them for a while, you send them a text, you give them a call. Sometimes you don't even get an answer and you're like man, I want to know what's going on with my brother, like, and they just won't answer. So I think, for men, they just need to respond and it don't matter because I get it Like we, you know we're going to cave, we were going on man cave, like, I don't want to be bothered with. You know, you may see a text, a brother send you a text. Look, I don't even feel like talking right now because we get like that, the sisters, now, the sisters, they'll respond, the sisters will answer, so for me. So I'm going to share my experience because I like how you brought up the sisters will answer so it so for me. So I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna share my, my experience because I like how you brought up the sisters, because this is what, this is what we go through. If you want to, this is the reality.
Speaker 2:Right, we're christian men, we're fathers. Uh, we, we, we got wives, you know. We, we got our children and we have to work. We have to work. So, because these systems that are in place, so we gotta got to spend time with God. You know you do not want to take God out. You got to devote yourself to God and prayer, spend time with your wife. If you got children, spend time with your children. But also you got to make that money. You got to work. In that. You know, working Typically you'll be working eight hours, depending on how far is your commute. You're pretty much out of the house between nine to 10 hours and if you sleep for eight, eight hours, you still got what? Six hours left, right, and that's small, and they're just doing that five days a week.
Speaker 2:So a bit about a bit about my testimony. So when I find myself working, I think a brother got to be spiritual enough to know when itself is drifting, because the devil man he is so kind of, like you said, spiritual warfare. He'll slowly pull a man away from his devotion with god and away from the brothers, because the minute you see a brother not intact connect with god like that, he's gonna start drifting away from the brotherhood and the fellowship and accountability. Because now he's going to find himself so far away. Man, how did I get there? Why am I not talking to Brother Nick? No more, we used to talk all the time. We used to fellowship, we used to break bread. So I got to share this story. I know you're here, but I got to share this.
Speaker 2:It was one season that I was working so much that I ain't even taught the brothers like that. I was just like work, work, work. But because of the spiritual aspect of me, the godly, spiritual, holy spirit that's inside of me, I caught myself. I said wait a minute. I find myself I'm becoming like worldly, because now you, I'm around these worldly individuals at my workplace. So because you know, they complain a lot yeah, oh, I ain't getting paid that much, I'm tired of management. And I found myself doing that and I caught myself.
Speaker 2:I started thinking about Moses when he was in the wilderness and the children of Israel, israel's complaining, yeah, and I'm like, wait a minute, I had to catch myself. I said whoa and I and I called you. I said I said I need to talk to you, I feel like I'm drifting man, I need to talk to you and I think if men are honest so a person may be watching this right now They'd be like, oh yeah, man, he going through something. No, I ain't going through this because I'm honest and I think men got to be honest with themselves that they find themselves drifting or they're not fellowship with somebody that could hold them accountable or encourage them. They got to, you know, be careful of that. They got to be like. You know, I find myself drifting. Let me call a brother Sometimes. If they're not responding, sometimes they need to take the initiative.
Speaker 2:Because the last time I checked the phone, work both ways Right, because what I find myself? I find myself always calling. Now I'm always calling, texting brothers. But what this is what I find that's very interesting A brother that haven't it could be inside the church or outside the church, family friends. Oh man, you don't call me no more. Let's just say remember, I just said I'm doing that's calling, I'm doing that's calling, I'm. Let's just say, remember, I just said I'm doing that's calling, I'm doing that's calling, I'm doing that's texting, right. And then the minute, like you'll hear from me for three to four months, oh yeah, uh, you don't call me, no more, you don't mess with me, no more. And I'm like I think the phone worked both ways.
Speaker 2:And men have I don't know if sisters do it, but men have a a bad habit of saying that stuff, a really bad habit. And I think for men they gotta take the initiative like man. I ain't here from. I know nick text me. I ain't responding to him, but at least let me let me pick up the phone, let me call him, let me just check up on him. Don't and and don't just call me because you want something out of me. Oh, I'm broke. You know right, call, call me, see how you doing.
Speaker 2:And I think preachers go through that too, because preachers they exert so much energy and try to give, give, give, give, but it's nobody pouring back into the preacher. You know your dad was a preacher, so I'm pretty much sure you could talk to this more than I can. So nobody's pouring into the man of God. He's the one that's pouring, but nobody's pouring into him. And I think, for men that find themselves drifting and I'm saying this because I had to catch myself, for those men that's watching me they got to pick up the phone. Let me pick up the phone, man. You know what? I got this message. Let me call my brother. Hey, man, I see you on YouTube. Man, how you doing, bro? I think that's where it starts from.
Speaker 1:I think the biggest issue no-transcript, just don't. That's good. That's hard, though, yeah, that's hard to identify that and to accept that, especially how we came up, where you had to be strong. You ain't no man if you ain't strong. Think about that for a second. This is why I've said it a million times, I'm going to keep saying it, because it is a true statement. Man, chris Rock was on to something.
Speaker 1:Listen your very existence. They strip that away from you. If you can't do what a man is supposed to do, a woman can do all these things. She's still a woman, that's true. A child can mess up. They still a child. A pet can do all this stuff. We love these dogs and they mess on the floor and I stop. You know hit them, but you know that's still a dog and we still gonna treat them and love them. But let that man mess up. You ain't no man.
Speaker 1:Think about that. Like you're very the thing that you are is taken away in the eyes of society. Why do you think that is? Why do you think is taken away in the eyes of society? Why do you think that is? Why do you think the enemy came after the man? Because the man represents power, strength, all of that stuff we've been saying. So here it is.
Speaker 1:You have to come to the realization that, man, listen, you don't have the capacity to be strong all the time. I like that, yeah. Once you get to the point where you can accept that, then you have to get to the point to where you are very intentional. You have to get to the point to where you are very intentional and I think that's where you are in terms of, you know, call texts, you know, do these types of things? See, the man is not picking up that phone, he's not responding to a text message or a call, because he's struggling with the fact that I got to be strong. Wow, he ain't accepted yet.
Speaker 1:Wow, do you see what I'm to be strong? Wow, he ain't accepted yet. Wow, you see what I'm saying? Yeah, he hasn't accepted that yet. Why? Because that's just the way it is. I have to be strong, yeah, right. And if you are not doing those things you know we keep enumerating them Protector, power, provider, right, you mess up in any one of those that trust me. That man in his, in his thoughts and in his minds he's, he's wrestling with it, he's trying to figure it out why? Because I have to be strong, because if I'm not strong, I'm not a man. Wow, do you get what I'm saying? Wow, yeah. So now intention you made mention of Jesus, which we should always look to. Jesus chose 12. But then there was also Peter, james and John. Yeah, that would go further.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:With him. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, so he was intentional. Yes, right, and I think that helps. I know it helps me because here's God in flesh, you know, and here it is. He's got to walk to, you know, the Garden of Gethsemane and he pulls on them. He's like man, y'all come a little further with me. They fall asleep, right. And this is where you know, I'm always like looking at him during this moment and I'm trying to learn. I'm, you know, I'm. Sometimes I'll just sit and when I say I'm looking at, I'm talking about in in my spirit, like I'm trying to look at him during this moment, right, because he's going through it. Right, like taking these three with me and going a little further. I need y'all to, I need y'all to pray with me. Man, yeah, they go to sleep. He goes a little further, right, and sometimes it's even difficult to talk about because you don't even like to talk about Christ or God as weak. He was weak.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You see what I'm saying as a man. That makes me feel like, what am I looking at? It makes me feel a little weird. You get what I'm saying? Right, because I still struggle with it sometimes, because I come from that era. Man, you be a man, you be strong and trust me. I understand what my father and grandfather fathers were trying to tell me and teach me. You get what I'm saying, but it was so much of you.
Speaker 1:Be a man. You be a man. You get up and you better do this and you better do that. And they had good intentions. But there's no room for you to even look at. Well, what do I do if I'm weak? Yeah, whose shoulder do you lean? Like, yeah, I got I don't. Yeah, you get what I'm saying? Yeah, like you know, even back then, uh, a mama's boy was kind of frowned upon. You get what I'm saying. Like you're gonna look at. No, no, get out here and you better do. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Be a man, you be this, you be that. And if you can't do that, to whatever degree, you wrestle with that. Wow, because society is quick to point that finger and say you ain't no man, you saw, that's what they say you saw, you ain't a man. Wow, you get what I'm saying, and and so just the idea of being weak is shun that. So let me get back to Christ. I'm looking at him and it's like man. He's, he's praying, he's in agony and he's like Father. I don't want to do this. What is that? It's weakness, right?
Speaker 1:I think the lesson for me, and I'm still trying to wrestle with it, I think the lesson for me and, I would hope, everybody else, but you know they're watching you, but for me the lesson is it's okay to look at Christ in that moment, and what the scripture is trying to show you is that he's human. Yeah, and I think that might be the lesson for us men who wrestle with it. Listen, you're weak. What does that mean? It means that you're human. Yeah, I like that. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, like we are. So I gotta be strong, I gotta be strong, I gotta be strong that we don't even we miss the fact that we're human.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's deep yeah, you miss that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So it's like what, really, then, is your view of you being strong? You pass human, you superhuman, I mean I like Superman, but you know it's. I think the revelation of that seeing Christ like that is the fact that he's human and humanity. As a man, you get weak, yeah. So once you're able to accept that, now be intentional intentional with God and intentional with brothers, brotherhood you get you two or three that can go a little bit further with you. Yeah, I like that. Even when they can't go further, you go pray to god and when you say amen, you get up, like christ did, and you say nevertheless, your will be done yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good man.
Speaker 2:Brotherhood and accountability, man. We could have kept going on this one man, because you know.
Speaker 1:This one here was a struggle. I'm like man. I had so much in my head that I really couldn't articulate. I'm like man like everything was just flooding.
Speaker 2:No, but it's good that we talked about this, because there are men that believe that they need to be by themselves. There are men that believe that they need to be by themselves, like I don't want to do it, I'm good, I'm doing good and maybe, maybe they've been hurt in the past Backstab.
Speaker 1:I think what it is is they're incapable of seeing the other side. That's what I was trying to say. Yeah, like you can't see it, yeah, but you know what was helping me to see it? I don't mind sharing my age. I'm, I'm, I'm. God bless me to be 50. I just turned 50. Oh really, yeah, bro, I didn't know that. God bless you, god bless me, big five. Oh, yes, sir, I'm blessed. Yeah, and I and I'm. You know, I'm always proud of that, because I remember when they were saying we couldn't get past 25 as black men.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, I wear that like I'm how old, you 50?
Speaker 2:I made it this. This conversation is definitely needed. Um, it like it. Like I said, they encouraged me because it brought me back to the movie, uh, the forge. Yeah, you remember when you watched the movie, all the brothers were in a circle and I think they had their sons, sure and then that older man was instilling, um, he just was empowering that younger man and so when I thought about the brotherhood, I thought about that movie and there's other movies that are out there, but that's the one that kind of like stood out to me because I watched it with my son and then I'm like man, this is how a brotherhood should look like and, thank be to God, there are preachers out there that are doing what they can to do what I just said in terms of brotherhood. They're trying to bring men together.
Speaker 2:Um, I know our, our minister. He have a brotherhood's call um every friday. They do that to empower, encourage men, because we showing up needed we be needing a daily bread, so every friday morning, so they get on. Um, you know us men, and we get on and we hear word. If you're not catching on, zoom it, you know they. They have it on facebook, they have on social media. So, thank god, and also, I know on a yearly basis they also have like a men's conference that they go to.
Speaker 2:I know the sisters have more yeah, the sisters have more conferences, but I think all year round, from, I mean, whoever watching me I think that we should probably create systems like that. Well, it shouldn't just be like once or twice a year, but this is something that should be constant, every month or so or every quarter, you know, because, like you said, these systems are in place that push us away from hooking up with our brothers. Yeah, and that's the thing that we have to face. So we're in constant war with the systems and, yeah, that's that's hard sometimes but yeah, I just want to just reiterate, and then we'll let it go.
Speaker 1:Man, just, uh, just the, you know, having the ability to say, doc, I'm not strong, I don't have the capability to be strong all the time. I think that's where, where, where we really need to kind of figure out, yeah, how to do that, yeah, and I'll tell you what. What helped me, what helped me to kind of figure that out, is actually getting older. Oh, getting older, because you know, as you get older, man, yeah, you don't have the strength of youth. That's right. Like you just don't like. Yeah, listen, man, back in my day, man, you know we were talking about lifting weights in the gym and all that stuff right A while ago. Back in the day, man, I was all right. But, listen, I was all right. Well, listen, I put 300 pounds on my chest and go to work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can't do that, no more. Man, listen, there's something about you know, getting older and hear what I'm saying. I'm not saying you don't. I'm not saying that I'm physically weak. What I'm saying is I lost the strength of youth, meaning. You know, in my 20ss I pushed 300 pounds off my chest. I don't have that anymore. Yeah, so then that forces me to kind of face it. I don't know if that makes sense to you. It's forcing me to face that like I used to be able to do this. I can't do that. Yeah, you get what I'm saying, right, right, we love basketball.
Speaker 1:I just jump up and grab the rim right. I can't do that. And just look up now, man, and even that's becoming a struggle, because your eyesight get better. So so what I'm saying to you is the trade-off, though, is that my inner man is getting stronger. Yeah, so as a young man, I couldn't even see the other side of weakness. I couldn't see it Just strength, strong. I got to be strong. I was told to be strong and guess what? I had the physical capability to do it. I'm strong. I don't have the physical capability like I used to have now, but my inner man is getting stronger because I have to rely on it more. Yeah, you get what I'm saying. Now I'm able to kind of see hey, man, you don't have the capacity to be strong all the time. So I now have to look at the reality, which is the weakness. That's what I was trying to tie into what I was saying before with Christ and whatnot.
Speaker 1:And once you were able to look at that, right then you'd be intentional. I wish I learned that at 25.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Amen, amen, hey, y'all, that's. That's. It is a wrap. This was a beautiful, wonderful, wonderful episode. So y'all put it in a comment. So put some comments. Put something in the comment section in terms of fatherhood, encourage a father. Today it is Father's. I call it Father's Day month. Well, father's Day month. I don't know if that makes sense, but Father's Month, father's.
Speaker 2:Month yeah, we celebrate the whole month and we're striving to bring encouragement to fathers because we show enough need it, but y'all it is a wrap. We show enough needed, but y'all it is a wrap. This episode is a wrap. The time is well spent, god bless, yes, yes, yes. So remember that Jesus Christ, he is the King of Kings and he's the Lord of Lords. Be blessed.
