Ep 64 Changing the Perspective About Money with Nicholle Overkamp

Nicholle Overkamp, MBA, ChFC® is the founder & CEO of Wilcox Financial Group and PowHERhouse Money Coaching. She’s also the co-author of the best-selling book, Money Bitch! A No-BS Guide for Smart Women Who Want to Own Their Financial Future.

As a personal finance expert and business coach for women, Nicholle's financial prowess was put to the test after a boating accident left her husband in a coma. Becoming her husband’s caretaker and guardian forced Nicholle to adapt her business model to accommodate this new role.

Navigating this experience fueled her commitment to empowering women with the money skills they need to be successful no matter what life throws at them.

“It’s about setting boundaries, having discipline, and knowing you’re worth every dollar you invest in yourself, your future, and your life.”

CONNECT WITH NICHOLLE:

• https://powherhousemoney.com/
• https://www.wilcoxfinancialgroup.com/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/moneybcommunity
• https://twitter.com/powherhousemc

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Money Bitch! A No-BS Guide for Smart Women Who Want to Own Their Financial Future

CONNECT WITH MANDY:

• mandysawyer.com
• insta @mandycreativevision 
• facebook @mandyscreativevision
• Mandy's Vision Gig fb group

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Transcript

Mandy:

Hey everybody, I'm so happy that you're here with us today. I have a new guest with me and her name is Nicole Overkamp. She's a personal finance expert and business coach for women. She's the founder and CEO of Wilcox, Financial Group, and PowHerhouse Money Coaching. Powerhouse money focuses on business coaching for ambitious women in a service-based business, wealth coaching, and educational programming. Wilcox Financial Group is a comprehensive financial planning firm and it was founded to create an environment that's progressive and client-centric with outstanding high-touch service. Nicole is the co-author of the best-selling book money bitch, a no BS guide for smart women to own their financial future, which I think I'm on chapter four right now in that book. 

Nicholle:

Awesome. 

Mandy:

And she's a strong advocate for empowering women. And she believes in the power of having a network of sisters to build each other up. Nicole, welcome. Thank you so much for being here. 

Nicholle:

Thank you. My pleasure. 

Mandy:

Will you tell us a little bit more about your educational background? Give us your creds. 

Nicholle:

Ah, sure. So I do have my MBA with a concentration in finance, I got that actually the same year as getting licensed when I was 21 super young, I kind of regret getting it that young. I wish I would have waited a little bit if unfortunately, nobody told me it might be a waste of money. But you know, it was kind of cool because I really did get early on business insights. The cons to that are that I didn't have real-life application experience just yet to be able to apply it where I think if I waited a bit it would have been a little bit better but I definitely used aspects and components of that certainly with a lot of the business coaching that I do and the Retirement Planning Specialist designation that I got from Wharton was actually a really cool program their professors they're amazing and firsthand conversations around the issues that we face right now with social security what are the real problems with retirement planning and and one of the things that we need to dig into and working with our clients in terms of the not only the conversations but some of the complex planning circumstances that get missed a lot of the time so that program was probably one of the only ones that I took that were actually applicable to real life I don't know you know, for anyone listening who's gone to school before and you know about 90% of it textbook is like not ever going to serve you in real

Mandy:: teacher so yeah, okay. 

Nicholle:

 Okay. Oh, sorry Wait, put your foot in your mouth in the podcast.

Mandy:

Like I get it as I get you to know, we got the book knowledge great with your teacher school great.

Mandy:

into the classroom, and it's a whole different ball game. 

Nicholle:

So yeah, exactly. So, that was pretty cool. And then the Chartered Financial Consultant designation is a lot of courses, it's nine college courses and, and it's all relating to financial planning. However, most of that stuff was great to have for continuing education, not a whole lot of real-life application. But it's one of those things, you know, I'm always a big believer in being an active student of the game and always learning and really growing because you know, I believe whatever field you're in, like, you have to keep doing that. Otherwise, you're just not serving your clients. Well. And I'm sure being a teacher and an education, you can appreciate that. 

Mandy:
Yes, absolutely. Okay. Tell us about the FINRA seven. I did. Yeah, okay, tell me about that.

Nicholle:

Yeah Sure. Um, those are securities licenses. So essentially, when you are a financial advisor before you can carry that name, you have to get licensed and the licenses that I hold actually allow me to do everything when it relates to financial planning and financial services. So the series seven and 66 allow me to trade Securities and Investments so buy and sell things like stocks, bonds, mutual funds, as well as sell insurance, annuities, and all of those different financial products, if you will, that are out there. So and I also

Nicholle:

I also have the ability to work as a broker, which means I can work with all the different companies out there, which is really quite cool so we can do what's in our clients’ best interest. And I also act as a fiduciary. 

Mandy: Okay, explain that word because I had to look at that word, that word.

Nicholle:

Sure. So really, in its simplest form, it means if I am working with you and engaging with you in a financial planning scenario, I must do everything in your best interest, nothing can be self-serving. So I'm going to need to give you unbiased advice, unbiased information education, and also give you multiple solutions for you to choose from, versus pin holing you into something that I really on the back end want you to buy, but I'm, you know, I'm candy coating, it is something else. So, you know, it's really in its truest sense, or I'm sorry, since the most holistic form of financial planning where you know, you're working with someone where it's, it's always going to be guidance education, in options, too. So to select what you need and what's in your best interest. 

Mandy:
Okay, awesome. Thank you for that explanation. 

Nicholle:

Yeah, you're welcome. 

Mandy: 

So when did you first discover that you had these Mad Money Mastery skills?

Nicholle:

Well, I mean, I think I fell in love with the idea of having control over my money. And not depending on anyone else. Since I got my first job. real quote, unquote, job is like a hostess when I was 13. And it's because I didn't grow up in a family with a lot of money. And if I wanted anything, or anything extra, I had to buy it. And so in seeing my mom struggle, I think, for me, it was like, You know what, I'm always going to be able to get what I want, and not need to depend on anyone else. And so I got after it pretty quick, I was always working as much as I could since I was 13. And well till today, a lot of years.

Nicholle:

And when I was 15, I opened a Roth IRA at the bank and got my card.

Mandy: 

I know at 15 what even a Roth IRA was?

Nicholle:

The bank actually so I, I had my savings account, and I had the little bucket that I was saving up for a car, and I knew how much I wanted to spend and in then I had this other extra money that the teller at the time, she's like, Why do you have so much in your savings, you know, of course, they wanted to sell you something and I said, Well, I don't know I'm buying a car, and they're like, you should talk to our investment specialists. And I was like, Okay, and so, um, they told me about a Roth IRA, I invested in it. I don't think that was in my best interest at the time, because I could probably use that money for, like, you know, college and life when I was a child, but I put it in a retirement account anyways. And so I guess it was kind of cool because I still got to do the things that didn't set me back too far. But I started with just a little bit and in every year, you know, a little bit just a little bit of money because I didn't have a lot of money. I think it was like 100 bucks a year, you know, that that I put in, but I got that first education on mutual funds. And then, by the time I did have my first job, you know that that little Roth IRA was worth 1000s of dollars. And it was kind of cool to see and, and have that firsthand experience and also realize that I had no idea what my money was invested in because they never educated me on that. And so it was really quite an eye opening, seeing like, holy cow, like, this is what I'm invested in. Like, that wasn't right, or I rather, you know, do this or whatever. And when I was young, I was so intimidated. I didn't ask questions. I didn't know what questions to ask. And I just assumed that they were the smart bank people, and they were doing what, you know, was best for me. And so that was certainly something I'm like, wow, like, I don't want anyone to, regardless of their age, or what's going on, you know, I want them to really, truly know and understand what they're doing. And it happened in a couple of other instances of my life, of course, as well. So it's definitely, I think, part of the basis of how we educate.

Mandy: 

Yeah, yeah, I wish somebody would have told me when I was 15 right?

Mandy:

Okay, so I know that you believe that. That mindset and self-worth are huge when it comes to personal finances. So what kinds of mindset roadblocks Do you see frequently, in your experience to these roadblocks seem to show up more in women than men or is it the same for both, or what do you think?

Nicholle:

Well, I think there are a lot of different types of money mindsets and some roadblocks. And the majority of the clients we work with are women. So I may have a bit of a biased opinion here where you just see it by means of statistics showing more in women. But I do feel and see, you know, as well as is working with a lot of our men that we work with are married to the women that are clients of ours. Those men don't have the same tendencies to feel this overwhelming sense of shame when it comes to money, or feeling of inadequate and, and what I mean by that is women will judge themselves before they even have a conversation where men really don't care, right?

Nicholle:

They're like, yeah, this is where I'm at, what do I need to do, and they move forward? And, whereas women are embarrassed by where they are, even if it's good like they feel like it's bad, right? You know, I think you look at a lot of the high income earning women or type A ambitious, I'm proud of where they are in a career perspective, which kind of is of many of our clients. But they feel like, wow, I don't know enough about money, or I am crushing it at work. But my personal finances are a bit of a train wreck, and I don't really understand it, or I feel like I should have more to show for what I make. And so all of these feelings kind of tend to overtake sometimes and in terms of this bit of anxiousness about talking about it, or not knowing where to go or the questions to ask because they do have those feelings. And I think what shows up often before women land in our office is like, well, I don't know who to talk to, that I'm not going to feel judged, or I'm going to feel comfortable. And then the thought often is to like, well, I can't be helped because they don't have half a million dollars to invest, I just need help understanding my cash flow or getting started or you know, that kind of thing as well. And so I think that's where we probably provide a really unique space, but that's what often holds women back. And then the second part of that is almost like this issue around confidence and knowing that you're worth the effort. And what I mean by that, and you might be able to relate to this, because I know and I saw on your website that you do a lot with visioning and vision work. And oftentimes we hear over and over again, well, it's just good enough or it is what it is. And they don't believe it.

Mandy:

Yeah, exactly. Like, whatever, it's just the way it is. And I'm like, ah definitely, you know, toxic, you know, um, it doesn't have to be that way. Like do you really want it like you want to shake them you know, and it's this misunderstanding that it's not that hard to change? 

Nicholle:

It's not that hard to be in a different circumstance but they don't put themselves in the position to have enough belief or self-worth that they're actually worth the hard work they're worth the effort they can do the things the hard things and make that pivot or make that financial change and, and often they just get stuck they get stuck in that you know, period of complacency and in the repercussions of that are extraordinary you know and so I think we see that a lot and it's getting them to understand Hey, you know what, it's gonna be a little bit hard but it's gonna be amazing at the same time and really empowering them to take ownership and being more authentic in themselves in terms of really working toward what they actually do want to end desire, and cutting out all the stuff is just not serving them. 

Mandy: 

Yeah, I bet they feel so relieved and, and a glimmer of hope whenever they talk to you because liike you said, that shame and the feeling like I'm not worth actually doing something about this. I think it's so paralyzing. And like, I'm sure they're like, why didn't I do this before? Why did I come to you before? Why did I get an advisor before because, you know, they wasted all that time? And I'm saying this and I'm thinking of my own situation, too. Yeah, okay. We may be talking afterwards.

Mandy:

So that's okay. Let's talk about your book we kind of mentioned I  think I'm on chapter four.

Mandy:

And you had mentioned some women who are killing it at work, but their personal finances were like a train wreck like women who are business owners that are just knocking it out of the park and handling it and then yet their personal life. Finances are just train wreck. But why do you think that is?

Nicholle:

Because we're so good at doing everything for everyone else. That's why you know, and think of the female business owner versus the male business owner, usually, right? We are running a business, statistically, we care more about our employees, and we're more involved in the things that they're doing. We're offering more benefits, we're offering up more time, we're delegating less. And then chances are we have kids, chances are, we're doing the majority of what needs to happen day to day with those kids. We have parents, we have a mother and father-in-law’s, guess who's usually handling all of that, guess who's usually handling? Yeah, all the personal family stuff. I mean, we are stretched, so thin on many levels, often fail to ask for help, or remember that we can, in fact, ask for help. And, um, and then by the time it comes to your own personal life, you're so tired, that you just don't feel like it. Right? You don't feel like it. Yep. And then you say, I'll deal with that tomorrow, or it's not that big of a deal. And how many people can relate to that, I'll deal with that tomorrow, it's not that big of a deal. And you blink your eyes, and it's like, oh, my God, 10 years evaporated.

Nicholle:

And that could have been 250k saved up, you know, it's just like, It's wild, how quickly things go by and so on, we see that a lot. You know, a lot of our clients are entrepreneurs. And even with myself, you know, it's hilarious. I say to everybody that I am so shocked that my husband pays our bills at home. And you know, in and I'm like, yeah, I'm a financial advisor, I tell everybody else what to do. And, you know, I'm super organized at work, but guess what, I don't have the capacity to handle our personal finances, right? I'm aware of them, we're on the same page. But when it comes to the day-to-day bill, writing the managing of our rental properties, and all of that, my husband handles it. And I asked him to do it, you know, and that's okay, too. I think we feel like we have to do it all sometimes as well. But there's a big difference between doing it all and then also just being aware, right? Does that make sense? So, I think it can happen often, and it's just making it a priority, you know, we're all busy, there's never going to be a great time, it's never going to be, you know, a riot to talk about money. I mean, I tried to make it that way. But we have as much fun as possible, I swear. But it's prioritizing, you know, like it is. And I always say to people, like look, if you say you don't have time, like switch that sentence with it's just not a priority right now. And if you were to replaced, I don't have time to have a meeting to talk about retirement, I don't have time to have a meeting to talk about my money. And you're like me, every time it's not a priority, you'd be like, Well, wait a minute, actually, yeah, um, you know, or whatever it is. And so that really shifts the psychology behind like, Okay, I think I can grab an hour, right?

Mandy:

Yeah. So yeah, absolutely. So what made you decide to write or co-write this book? And what was the most interesting and most enjoyable part for you? 

Nicholle:

So I want to write the book because over and over again, when I go out, and maybe a networking event, or having a conversation with someone, and I say I am a financial advisor, I get this, this look like oh, terrible, like, I don't want to talk to you, you know. And I understand that, of course, it's based on their personal experience, or whatever the case may be. But it was like, it happens so often. Early on in my career, I got kind of a complex and I was like, What am I doing, right? And so you know, and in the industry can certainly have a bad name, just like anything else. But as like, man, like, we need to do a better job, we need to do a better job in changing the perspective about money, we need to do a better job in creating a movement around women and money and understanding that planning for this stuff is not only critical, it can be a ton of fun, actually, you know, it's so much fun realizing your potential so much fun understanding that you can get what you want and and not be anxious or have this like burden on your chest about not knowing whether or not you're going to be okay if life happens. And so we wanted to make something that was just going to be fun, and allow women to know what they don't know, right? We can be blind to our own blindness. And so that that's literally how came about I literally was just like, we're gonna read a book and I want to make a bigger impact and I want to make it fun so that it's less intimidating and it's easier for women to understand and get into this stuff, right? So that's why I wrote it. And the most fun about the whole process truly was the interviews. Yeah, I talked to over 100 women, and in doing those interviews and just asking the questions, because the last thing I wanted to do was write a book that wasn't relevant, I didn't want to make any assumptions, because I'm in the industry. And, and we tend to do that we tend to take things for granted that other people don't actually know or understand or want to know more about. So that was eye-opening. It was amazing. It was incredible to hear how many different versions of what a financial advisor is. It was, yeah, you know, it was fun to hear the struggles and the challenges, and also the resistance to actually doing anything is fascinating to me. And you know, there are so many women that knew they needed help, but just didn't do anything about it. And to me, that was shocking, and soul-crushing a little bit.

Nicholle:

And so in it's really, anxiety takes over, you know, it's at its biggest sense. And so, so that it was a blast, though, you know, I met so many amazing women from so many diverse backgrounds. So right,

 Mandy:

So right, Where are all your clients? 

Nicholle:

No, no, no, yeah, I actually didn't interview more than maybe one or two clients of those 100. I really wanted to get a very diverse unbiased opinion and feedback from people because the questions asked of our clients are already educated, right? They already know the things and even though I would have loved hearing what they had to say, it wouldn't have given us the real truth that I needed to put together in writing that book and coming up with the outline. 

 Mandy:

Yeah. Do you think that some of the hesitations has to do with like, Oh, my gosh, I'm, Does my finances suck already? How can I pay for somebody to help me figure this out? Yep. You know, they absolutely have that whole mindset of, I can't let go of this money because I'm struggling anyway. 

Nicholle:

Yeah. But you can't afford not to. And I'm just kidding. All right. So yeah, I think it's the, not understanding the value. And I'm sure you also, in your business, deal with that value versus price, right. And it's what you actually get out of it now, not what you pay. And we also fail to realize how much money we spend on stuff that doesn't matter every single day or every two. And so it's an investment to actually put yourself in a much better position. And then I think part of it too, is we get stuck in our head, we get stuck in our own way, we put it off, because we are afraid of what we might hear, it will not like it, we're afraid that it is going to be hard. Or if you're married, you're afraid of the conversation that you have to have with your partner. And you're not sure how that's gonna go? Or how they're going to respond? Or can you work as a team and so there's a lot of little mini arguments that go on in our heads a lot of the time that stops us from doing something you know, procrastination is, is an avoidance of pain and some form of anxiety typically, and it's easy to do. 

 Mandy:

Yeah, absolutely. So this idea of building wealth without wealth, what does that mean? And how do we do that?

Nicholle:

It means starting everybody who has wealth what not everybody, many people who have wealth started at Ground Zero, you know when in so it's realizing how can you start small or start with high intention and realize how to begin putting your money where your goals are, and cut out the excuses that sometimes we subconsciously make with ourselves. And it's just beginning I mean, money, especially when investing its snowballs, and it snowballs quick, even if it's a little bit at a time, and finding that, you know, $100 a week or $1,000 a week or whatever it is, depending on your flexibility there. In knowing that wow, if I just do this little bit of what it's going to equate to in a certain number of yours, and how that adds up in the impact and then well, what would I do with an extra 80k? Right? What would I do with an extra, you know, 100,000 bucks in five years or 10 years, and sometimes we just because we don't know we don't do right? And if you knew it was only going to take the change or the tweak of one small habit to have an extra 80k in five years would you not do it? Of course, you would, you know, but because we lack that clarity

Nicholle:

It's difficult to get the wheels in place. Right? Right. Yeah.

Mandy:

Okay, so another idea: a woman should have a purse of her own. How does this idea resonate with you and or with couples that you coach? And are there any religious or societal pushbacks with that idea?

Nicholle:

That is a loaded question. So to us in having a purse of our own, it's, it's really equating to

awareness. So if you are in a relationship, that doesn't mean you must have separate accounts for everything, and you have to have completely different cash flow operations and your spouse like no, no, no, you must be on the same page. But what it does mean is don't assume things are fine. Don't assume that you're taking care of if something happens, having a purse of your own means you need to be aware of your situation, you need to ask the questions, and you need to be in control to the extent that if something happened to your partner, you understand where you're going to be, right. And you understand what all of that looks like. And, it is very good to also know that you do have control over those assets or the ability to make those joint decisions. A lot of the time, and I've had many conversations with women this day and age and in 2018 19-20. Now, and when I asked them about planning, like oh, my I'm all set, my husband takes care of it. And they have no idea. No idea, oh my gosh, it makes me want to throw up in the mouth.

Nicole:

They don't know how much is in the retirement accounts. They don't know how much life insurance he has. They don't know how much they're spending. And it's like, well, what if he leaves you?

Nicole:

What if you want to leave him? What if he dies, like, you know that that's a big deal. And what I have actually found with men is oftentimes they feel an immense burden, that they have to do all the financial things, but they're afraid to admit that because they feel like they're not playing their role in so so that was actually a very interesting thing that I discovered years ago with some interviews and that is interesting, because I think that one should do a couple of things and realize that just because he's saying one thing doesn't mean he's feeling that way. And it might be a burden lifted if you did ask the questions, right? If you did want to play a role and get involved. And so you know, and I think we just make the assumption that he'll be offended or will allow it or be upset and when in truth, like if you are in a marriage, and you plan to stay in that marriage, and if you don't, that's okay, too. But if you plan to stay in that marriage, your team? 

Mandy: 

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So okay, we touched on some of the recurring themes that you see when it comes to women and money. And one of those was shame and lack of confidence. Was there anything else that goes with that, that that we haven't talked about?

Nicholle:

I think the one positive thing that we didn't touch on is that women, way more than men actually want to have a plan that makes them feel really good, where men are more likely to just like winging it. Yeah. Which is probably to no surprise of anybody listening. And, and so that's a huge benefit. More women want a plan, more women want a strategy, they want to understand where they are and where they're going. And, and so that's actually huge. This that's a really good thing, statistically, and what we find is that it's just oftentimes getting their spouse on board. Right, right. Yeah. 

 Mandy: 

Yeah, absolutely. So okay, we're talking about how busy we are, right? how busy women are doing all the things and all that stuff. So how can busy women own their own financial futures?

 Mandy:

And what advice specifically I want to know, too, because you know, I'm 51. So I would like to know some advice that you would give for people that are women who are in their 50s or 60s or something like that, and we didn't get really good financial advice and guidance early on. 

Nicholle:

Yeah. So the first thing is, I would say, make it a priority, and put a date in your calendar to start. And what I mean by that is, if you don't make the date with yourself, and you don't put the commitment on the calendar, you're going to have all the good intentions in the world, but it's never going to happen. True. And so you have to do that first thing and that date in the calendar can be. I'm going to write down what I want and seek help. It can be, I'm going to write down what I want, do the research and do it myself, whatever that is, but just put that first thing in your calendar. And then whether it is reaching out to a pro that can help you and help you understand what it is you need to do to get to all those goals that you wrote down, right? That reverse engineering, in the steps that you're going to have to take. Or if you're going to dig in yourself, the number one thing is to literally start but make a date for it. Because if you don't, it won't happen. And then the next piece of that is, defining what you want, and carving out time for that. So when you make that date with yourself, I think that's true. The first thing is making sure that you're allowing adequate time to think about and write down what you want, we don't spend enough time doing that. And if you don't know what you want, you're actually not going to know who to ask for help. But you're not going to be able to easily articulate what you need help most with, right, right, it's probably more than just a budget or an investment account, it's a lot of stuff. So write it down, write it down, so that you can have someone help you make it real. Right, right. And then after you get that basis in terms of where you are now and where you want to be in that gap. A lot of other little things for us that that we work with our clients on is what can be automated, you know, what can we put on autopilot so if it saves, it's out of sight out of mind if it's investing we're automatically doing that after we know how much you can invest in what toward what goal in what bucket and then what bills Can we look to either automate or eliminate or streamline and, and just looking at everything financially, like what's clunky, that doesn't need to be you know, what's taking up a minute, that can be zero minutes, or, or 10, that can be five, you know, really articulating that too, because sometimes we over complicate our lives. And so it's looking at whatever system you're using, and utilizing one that just works more effectively. And that's easy, you know, everything that we set up and especially working with our clients, the majority of them are busy women,

Nicole:

We're setting up systems that are simple to follow. Automated if they can be but taking a lot of the complexity and thinking out of it, right. So you know, even as simple as it is, you know, one of my favorites, like simple tips are, is having a different account per goal. So for example, if you've got your short-term goals that are in like a savings account, a bucket that out. So you've got your emergency reserve bucket, your vacation bucket, your slash fund bucket, so you always know exactly where you stand. And then you're not worrying about whether or not you're overspending or what's going on there. It's like permission to spend because you saved for that bucket and it's there, you know, just little tips like that are so helpful. After you know what they need to be, you know, and in a lot of financial planning is that permission to spend, right, it's permission to know that you can without worry, and then also making your future self proud by the amounts that you need to put aside. So 

Mandy:

yeah, exactly. I think it was in the book where you said `` if you don't like the word budget because it makes me cringe and change it to a spending plan. Yeah, like that. Yeah, that's how I'm gonna have to refer to it from now on. My spending plan is I call it all the time because I always am like,

Nicholle:

I hate budgets. And it actually is a completely different concept too, so how we work spending plans isn't a budget, it's totally different. Because if you think about it, budgets are more reactive than proactive, right? You don't know why you're necessarily allocating different amounts in certain categories when your life is different every single month. So if you put your money where your goals are first and spend what's left, you're going to operate a lot differently. Okay, I like that. I like that.

Mandy:

So I think we've talked about this already, really, but the biggest challenges that women entrepreneurs face, what are they?

Nicholle:

Well, it's that they're doing all the things, you know, oftentimes they're doing all the things and they're notorious for not asking for help. And so that can be with everything that's not just equating to money, because I see this a lot with the business coaching is, asking for help and being strategic about it. So what we see a lot is women, they're like a boiling pot, right? And they're doing everything, all the things they either forget, they can ask for help, or they're afraid to delegate because they're control freaks, right? I like recovering and they've got the burdens of all the other things outside of work, too. And so what sometimes happens is, is you're piling on piling on and then you explode and then when you ask for help, it might not be the most strategic, but you're grabbing at what's available, right. And so one of the things that I was talking about is, look, be strategic. And always be hyper-aware of what it is that you are good at, what you love doing, what you hate doing, what you suck at. And, and as soon as you can, as soon as you can afford to hire the person who can fill that what you suck at the roll, and then build from there. And then don't be ashamed to hire help at home, either. You know, if you work from home, and your kids are home, it's okay to hire a babysitter like, you know, and women feel guilty for that. 

Mandy:

And so, keepers or a housekeeper 

Nicholle:

Exactly, you know, I operate in your zone of genius, not in your zone of competence. And if you can do that and do that, well, you will absolutely increase your income by a lot. And it's just realizing and in articulating that and being okay with the very fact that if you don't ask for help, and if you don't get help, whether it's from a housekeeper to a coach or to an employee, whatever it is, you're going to be in your own way all of the time. And you're almost like the master of your disaster. You know, I think women in general play a very good martyr role. Yes. And, and we don't even know we're doing it. Right. Right. And so that is also something to just kind of circle in on, right. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

Mandy:

So who/what motivates and inspires you?

Nicholle:

Well, it was so funny when I saw that question, because I was like, man, every time someone asks me that my brain freezes. And I'm like, Oh my god, I don't know there's a zillion people that I have, like, serious, serious girl crushes on and I'm just like, wow, like, how do they do that, and I'm so inspired and Sara Blakely always comes to mind, Barbara Cochran always comes to mind and in so many, so many others. But the reason you know women like them is that they all started with zero, and really learned the art of the hustle. And they learned to work smart, and in their zone of genius, and how they created their companies, to me is just so brilliant. And I really admire it because I am that person who came from nothing, who came from, you know, being super scrappy, and starting up and learning the hard lessons and, and I just think that's so cool. And I admire them for the women they've become, and the women they continue to support and inspire and give back. And they've really just grown into two beautiful contributors of impact really, into me that that's so so important is part of you know, who you're becoming and the impact that you make. It's not just the business that you're building, but it's the people you're serving. And I think they do that. Well, you know, especially Sara Blakely, with everything that she's involved in. 

Mandy:

Yeah. Awesome. So what, um, what big obstacle Have you overcome in your life? And how have you done that?

Nicholle:

I've had so many, but, you know, the biggest one, you know, I think there's like 1000 little fires that we all go through, right? You know, for me, it was constantly being told I suck and I'm not good enough. And, you know, in being in a man's world, but the most catastrophic, if you will, or profound was that my husband and I, five years ago, were in a serious boating accident. And, quite frankly, we should have both been dead. You know, usually, people don't survive from those things, our boat flips going 120 miles an hour. Gosh, and at that moment, it was my 30th birthday. And my husband's older than he is 12 years older than me and I was just used to him being my protector. He was my protector. He was the person who did the things like my job was always just to work. His job was to do the things right yeah, yeah. And I was not touched somehow by some grace of God, I wasn't hurt. Um, which is insane and he was in a coma. I was told he wasn't gonna make it. I was told he was gonna need long-term care for the rest of his life. So I was like everything, right? And so he did recover. He did get better after a few years and some change. But for that first year, he was in the hospital for months. And then I had him needing 24 seven care for time beyond that, and it took him a couple of years before he was even like, more functional from a normal day to day might hit a huge traumatic brain injury among physical injuries. And so you know, here I am at 30 years I'm a financial advisor slinging advice every single day and I didn't have a health care proxy, a power of attorney or a will. Why? Because when I asked my husband to do one he said he didn't feel like it and everything was fine oh right and I didn't feel like I had the energy to fight with him yeah and I should have because to not have a power of attorney cost me 2500 bucks in legal fees to become his legal guardian plus a court date

Nicholle:

which it would have cost me 100 bucks and in simple conversation you know in and then also he handled all his companies the rentals the bills thank god he's organized but I had to take over that I had to make a decision to change my business model I was at the time in partnership with another firm who traveled across the US doing family business succession planning and I was their succession plan and in traveling with them and doing the retirement planning piece and so I was gone a week a month and I had to decide cold turkey I'm not doing that anymore I'm not doing anymore I'm not traveling anymore My husband's my priority and at that moment it was a solid part of my revenue like you know probably like close to 50% so I also had to decide well good grief How am I going to pivot my business because I also have employees to support right and my husband to support and take care of and so I went from being in a pretty decent situation 30 years old doing whatever the FBI wanted to be a caretaker full time to rebuilding my business and my brand and also learning some hard lessons you know, I  did the easy things to get the hard life in some ways you know and so when you do the hard things you get the easy life right? And so it really made me realize that I need to dig in deeper and talk more about this stuff and make sure it happens with my clients and you know, future conversations with my partner and

Nicholle:

and then I learned a lot too about what it does mean to be a caretaker and the things that you need to have in place to ensure that you are set up that you can pivot for life you know fortunately we did have good insurance in place and and I knew a bit about how to navigate that system but what I didn't realize was shoot you know, my husband had great insurance and disability and health insurance and everything else but the person suffering most from the disability was me right? I had to work less my income was less about to take care of him and that's what we don't talk about you know we don't talk about the other person we assume it's going to be okay and your life is going to be the same and your spouse is just going to be sick and that's just not a 

Mandy:

different dynamic it's like yeah, your whole everything 

Nicholle:

It changes everything and so that that for me was was definitely the biggest most difficult devastating thing that that I ever went through but you know in many ways it really forced me to do many things that would have taken me years otherwise to do you know an inbuilt rebuilding the business and that's really when we started focusing on working with women and really just the planning and all of that and digging in and it allowed me to be more authentic. It allowed me to realize how precious life was and how that it can be over tomorrow so I better get out there and make the biggest impact I can ASAP right and so in that way it was really a beautiful miracle I think and then just looking at life through different eyes right yeah, you know it changes you and 

Mandy:

it does change you yeah those kinds of things absolutely change you you have a completely different perspective on life completely different desires and goals and like just everything just flips flops, yeah i mean I can relate somewhat not to the extreme that you're talking about but just I lost my dad when I was 23 years ago so I watched you know that was my world turning upside down and then my mom has gone through five years she's better right now but she's gone through five years of cancer treatments and surgeries and bazillion hospital stays and you know colostomy you know a colostomy and all I mean just stuff so and I was the one to help take care of her whenever she's recovering from all this stuff and is just in the hospital it's just so draining And so

Mandy:

yeah, you just your whole life just that's it like everything else stops. Your focus is completely on them. And so, but yeah for long term care, like You're doing that, that is I mean, kudos to you because that's hard as hard. And I mean, thank God your husband has you for sure.

Nicholle:

Yeah, yeah, there's you know, it really thinks that'd be given to each other right. Um, but yeah, and he likes to find all the ads to which are super cool guys, you know, he's fine now he's a very stubborn German man. But you know, and my heart goes out to you for having to deal with that with your parents and, you know, unfortunately, I don't think our story, your story especially, is that uncommon for women, and I don't think it's uncommon at all. It's just a part of life we don't talk about and we should. Yeah, we should. Absolutely. I do like to talk about it as much as possible on this podcast because I know that it, you know it, there's so many out there that well, and right now my mom actually is taking care of my grandmother who's 93 Oh, my goodness.

Mandy:

Oh my god, I know there are times when she's like, I need to get out of here, whatever. So I try to give her a break when I can. So yeah. Okay, well, that is a lot and I applaud you for being scrappy and being just digging in and getting things done and pivoting when you needed to pivot and all that stuff. So let's kind of switch gears just a little bit. Tell me about your favorite workout. What do you like to do for exercise? 

Nicholle:

Ah, I used to be going to boot camp pre COVID but now I am really loving the peloton. Yeah, and I use it every day. Whether it's one of the classes or the bike like it's, it's really, it's really so much fun. Is it?

 Mandy:

I've heard that a lot. Yeah, is there something just more appealing with it than just a regular you know? What is a treadmill or whatever? Like it's more than your spin bike? Yeah, it's

Mandy:

Excuse me? Um, yeah, what is it about it that is so intriguing.

Nicholle:

So for me, it's you okay? It's the teachers so the teachers are really great I actually don't even like spinning but the spin classes are fun and then for me it's the practicality of it so I actually have the bike right in my office so I can jump on it for and do a quick 30-minute spin and other classes like you can pick the time so if I've got 10 minutes I can do 10-minute arms five-minute core whatever and so it eliminates the excuses and forces me to time block these little mini-sessions where it's nice to pick that out versus having to find an hour to drive to the gym where they're stuck in conversation oops you're running late you drive back you know and it kind of eliminates the whole like the madness of that you know the hectic routine so well that's cool.

Mandy:

That's awesome. Maybe one day I'll be able to get one of those, So okay, you mentioned boating and hiking. What do you do? Where do you like to go hiking? 

Nicholle:

Well, I hike, like everywhere you know my girlfriends and I usually do a hiking trip every year so we've done some of the National Parks I live in upstate New York so we have a lot of beautiful places to hike we're actually going to the Adirondack Mountains this weekend to hike the highest peak in New York and you know anywhere I can go that that is a cool hike. For me, the ability to be in nature without any technology is like my purest form of relaxation. 

Mandy:

Yes, absolutely. Completely cutting all that stuff off and just yeah, enjoying the views and the birds in the water and the trees and all that stuff. Yes, I love that stuff.

Mandy:

Were you born and raised in New York? 

Nicholle:

I was Yeah, yeah. Okay. Um, Buffalo, New York. Awesome. 

Mandy:

I'm from Oklahoma. Oh, so you’re golden doodle mom, right.

Nicholle:

So what do you love so much about that? Oh, she's so much fun so she comes to work with me every day. So clients love her and she's just a goofball like you know she's just always happy and a big people person so it's so much fun having her It feels like weird when she's gone like somebody is missing and she also forced me to walk every day which is good because for me that's also super therapeutic like that is you know, the one time a day I always listen to like book and Walker which is a cool excuse.

Mandy:

Yes, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you can't, you can't be sad around her, I imagine.

Nicholle:

No, no, she's.

Mandy:

So what is your vision for the next five years of your life?

Nicholle:

Oh, it is growing this company and I am so excited about it you know, I want to continue building what we have and really just creating this I keep calling it a movement but like this really fun really cool movement around changing the way that women think about money how they deal with money and ultimately I want to stop hearing these stupid statistics right like I want to put action behind that and so growing that and really getting into doing more speaking as well it's a huge passion of mine is probably the biggest part of what I do want to grow that we are working on right now but that's it, you know, I'd love to be able to hire a few more people and, and be able to contribute to their lives and keep doing the thing. 

Mandy:

Yeah. So can you talk about speaking engagements? Like are you going to do conferences? Or just like what do you have in mind for that? 

Nicholle:

So I do have a few different signature talks that I do and yes, I would love to do more speaking at conferences right now. I'm doing a lot of things like workplace workshops and things like that. But I really vision being on bigger stages and doing conferences where I can talk to huge groups of women, whether it is about building a business or talking about having confidence in becoming part of your authentic self and really more on that like motivational side even though I'm careful to use the word motivation because it's a little temporary.

Nicholle:

But it and then, of course, on the finance side and really talking about owning your future and what that means to write in and all the important things that that you need to talk about. So I think it's something that you know, especially on the finance side, everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it. When I mean from the corporate perspective, right? And so I'd love to be talking more about that and helping push the envelope. 

Mandy:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Is there anything that you'd like to leave with our listeners, like a valuable lesson or a favorite quote or? a word that keeps you going as a joke? Whenever? 

Nicholle:

Sure. I can never remember jokes. I wish I could because I always say and I laugh that I remember and that and oh, it is it?

Mandy:

Well, I mean, no, I can totally do it here. But like, I have to think that through first that's a bad thing is like No way. I have to think about the joke first and make sure I say it right.

Nicholle:

I didn't mean to pitch I can't even think of it now. That's how bad of a joke I am. Okay, so yeah. I like the popsicle jokes, like the Cordonnier. The better, like, yeah, I always laugh at those. But for me, I think you know what one of my favorite quotes is, instead of giving yourself reasons why you can't give yourself the reasons why you can, you know, one of the most awesome expressions to me is like, are you giving yourself like reasons? Or are you just going to do the thing? And so often we don't realize how we're talking ourselves out.

Nicholle:

And like, you're worth the effort. And yes, you can do the things but you just have to have that belief. When it comes to whether it's building your business or building your own worth and net worth rather than and when it comes to finances. And so I think that that can relate in so many ways. And so the one thing that I just want to leave with everyone listening like if there's something that you know, you need to do, you've been meaning to do, like, just do it make the time to do it. Because you have like one precious life in so if there's something you've been wondering, there's no reason why you should keep wondering. 

Mandy:

Yeah. Yeah, just do the thing. Do the dance, right? Yeah. So how can people get in touch with you,

Nicholle:

They can get in touch with me. by following us on Instagram. That's probably one of the easiest ways to handle her power, her house money. And in so and in our bio, we have a link to everything to all of our websites of course that we have the workshops that we're doing if they want to schedule a discovery call. So that would be a really easy way. 

Mandy:

Awesome. Okay. And all of those links will be in the show notes of this podcast as well. So well, Nicole, it has been a pleasure talking to you today. I've, I'm enjoying your book, and I can't wait to finish that and I'll reach out to you once I finish it and let you know how that's going and everything. So thank you so much for being here.

Nicholle:Awesome. Thank you. It's been a lot of fun. All right.