Road to Radical Visibility Show/Podcast

The Best Way to Get Healthy! Release the shame & judgement ❤️ Creating Inclusivity in the online health & wellness space.

Rachel Freemon Sowers Season 1 Episode 112

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Have you ever felt alone in your journey towards health and wellness? Social media content creator and online health coach, Christina Struckmeyer, joins me to share a unique perspective on radical visibility in the online health and wellness world. Christina breaks down her journey of transformation, shedding light on how she's used her platform to empower others, promote kindness, and advocate for inclusivity. 

In this candid conversation, we discuss the courage it takes to be open and vulnerable online, the toxic social constructs around body image and the pressures that come with living up to societal expectations in the fitness and wellness industry and explore the importance of breaking free from these norms and learning to live life on your own terms.

We do a deep dive into what it really takes to create inclusivity online and offline in the health and fitness industry. She shares how this it has not only transformed her life, but has also had a significant impact on her emotional and mental health. Together, we navigate the fear of judgment, the pressures of being a content creator, and the power of finding your own path.

From addressing diet toxicity to finding an accountability partner who supports, rather than shames you, we cover it all. We also touch on how to respond to negativity online, turning criticism into a learning experience. 

Christina's raw honesty about her own tribulations—losing weight, becoming a mother, dealing with emotional weight and the loss of her father—is both inspiring and empowering. 

Tune in to be moved, motivated, and reminded that you are not alone in your journey. Be kind to yourself, there's no need for shame or guilt here.
Want to learn more about Christina and her services? 
Click here:  https://linktr.ee/xtinastruckmeyer

Did you have an Ah-Ha moment from this episode? I would love to hear about it! No seriously, I want to hear from you! Send me a DM or email at rachel@rachelfreemonsowers.com.

Watch more self-empowering content on my YouTube Channel.

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#LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ+business #visibilitymatters #timetoshine #RoadtoRadicalVisibility #RachelFreemonSowers

Speaker 1:

I got a really negative comment of how are you supposed to share like people getting healthy with you when you gained a hundred pounds and I was like, oh, oh, I feel that, like I got it in my DM, I felt it. I was like that is mean. Oh, what's going on with her? But my first retaliation was not let's think about what's going on in her world, it was like I'm going to take off my hoop earrings, I'm going to like fire it up. But I have learned over the last five years that, like I'm in control of my reactions and they get what they get from me based on what I give them.

Speaker 2:

Hello, beautiful people, just a little warning listening to the Road to Radical Visibility podcast may result in you feeling confident, af free from the expectations and opinions of others, and give you the ability to create ultimate self-trust in who you are, what you say and how you show up in every part of your life. I guarantee you this episode will empower you to be 100% yourself 100% of the time. No shame or guilt needed. Now let's dive in. Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome to another episode of Road to Radical Visibility. My name is Rachel Freeman Sowers, also known as the break free bitch, because I am so passionate about helping people in the LGBTQ plus and female communities break free from the toxic social constructs, expectations and opinions of others so that they can live their life exactly the way that they want to. Oh my gosh, I have such a great guest today, but you're just going to have to wait a quick second while I introduce her. Today is going to be so fun. Okay so, and I didn't ask my guest how to pronounce her last name, but I'm going for it. I'm just going to dive in.

Speaker 2:

Okay so, my guest is Christina Struckmeyer. She is a social media content creator who has been sharing her life openly online. For the last five years, her audience has followed her through a total live transformation chronically a dramatic weight loss and leap from public relations professional to successful online and wellness coach. Throughout her online presence she roots her content in empowerment, kindness and advocacy, which I have witnessed just FYI. Sharing her approach and resources to special needs, parenting, motherhood, mental health, healing and relationships. Help me welcome our guest, christina, today. Thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, thanks for having me, Rachel. I'm so excited.

Speaker 2:

Well, you guys didn't? You guys miss a lot when we don't want to put the pre-show stuff on here, but we're laughing, trying to get this tech together. Christina's out on her farm. I'm in the middle of town, you know we're just going for it. So today you won't know what you're going to get, but whatever it is, it is going to be freaking, inspiring and empowering to you. The first question I ask everyone, christina on the show, is what is your? What does radical visibility mean to you?

Speaker 1:

I love that question and I love watching everybody's answers on your podcast. For me, radical responsibility it means being seen and being shown, but more than that kind of projecting yourself on like a big screen and allowing other people to, I guess, see themselves in you and, as a byproduct, they'll see themselves, if that makes sense. It's kind of like projecting outwardly yourself with the hopes that it helped others. You know, feel less alone and more included.

Speaker 2:

Well, I don't know if you noticed, but you said visible, radical responsibility and I seriously love that because it's radical visibility. But you're like, hey, I'm taking it up a notch and I'm saying Responsibility, yes, okay, that's going to be a thing. I'm just going to Responsibility.

Speaker 1:

They're exchangeable.

Speaker 2:

Well, it really just goes to show to your inner way of being, of how you really feel it is your responsibility to put this stuff out there. Let's just be real, as both of us, as content creators, and we've watched each other for a while online, but the audience doesn't know is like we've watched each other. I saw you quit your job and go into the health and wellness online coaching and industry and you've been at it Like you've been committed to this process. What was the thing in that moment? Okay, so we know the story. A lot of times people quit their job. They're tired of it. They're tired of what they can't have. They want more or they need a different kind of life for their family. Right, yeah, and so you decide that, but what made you decide to become radically visible in that?

Speaker 1:

process? Yeah, such a good question and I loved my job. I used to be a public relations professional. I worked in house marketing for nonprofits and it was really. It gave me a lot, but I felt like I was always kind of doing things for other people and my life kind of took the back seat. So I started doing health and wellness coaching and part of that is being a little bit real online and sharing people what's possible. But at the beginning I used to kind of keep my health stuff in a bubble and my personal life over here and I actually didn't even share my motherhood or anything personal because I felt like it wasn't professional and I also was scared of like judgment and what people might say about my personal life.

Speaker 2:

Anyone out there? I don't know. Do you really have that way? I'm raising my hand? Totally relate to all of that.

Speaker 1:

yes, but I had a marker, probably in 2019, where I was like, if I don't share all of me, people aren't gonna understand the complete package of what's happening here. They aren't gonna understand how much this has changed me, not just in my physical health, but like my mental health, my motherhood, my relationships. So I just ripped the band-aid off. My first thing was sharing my daughter, who is on the autism spectrum. I previously had helped back and I found that when I did that, the floodgates open and all these parents started relating to me and asking me questions and it was like a whole other facet of being online.

Speaker 2:

Well, and there is anyone who's been in the online world, is an entrepreneur online or uses it to help market their business or share their life. Notice that there's always someone who will judge you. There will be always someone who doesn't agree with you. There will be people absolutely, who support you and love you, right, and it does take courage to be put yourself out there and then to do it even more than before and even more than before right, and to allow yourself to follow your own path is huge.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and I never regretted that step of being open. But I will say that my life has shifted a lot since that first time I opened my life online. I've gone through a divorce, I've gone through falling in love again, a remarriage, a new baby. I'm a whole different. I live in a family. I live at a farm. I did not live on a farm five years ago, and so with the openness came a responsibility of like I kind of have to share all of it, even like the bad and like the messy, and so it was figuring out how do I do that authentically while keeping my mental health front and center and making sure I'm honoring myself and giving myself time to heal.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that's like knowing how much to show. People ask me all the time Rachel, how can you be out there all the time? And I want to go to the next level with even being out there even more. But I'm not going to lie, I'll just be totally real. There is a little resistance in here. There's like like then I have to keep it up, then I have to do this thing, then whatever, right, and it's how do we find our own way? And each one of us do that, and you know, we could talk about this topic for the whole rest of the show.

Speaker 2:

And and at the same time, though, I want to shift the conversation a little bit because you have watched, I mean, let's talk about let me get my brain calm down just for a second, because it's going all over the place I would like to kind of dive in to the online world and when it comes to health and wellness and weight loss and how, because for me, you know many of you have watched my online journey, my weight loss journey, and it's been remarkable, but also it is an up and down thing.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I'm in the middle of menopause, it's kicking my ass, I mean bad, and like then you know there's things that happen that cause us to to fluctuate, and the online world, if you still still it is my belief, because I see it all the time If you don't look this way, if you don't have this kind of body, if whatever, as much as body positivity as we have, we've been living a long time with a certain toxic social construct about what we should look like, and even now I do see some women like me, but I see I see lots of times when it's not women like me. I've never been small, right, so we were talking a little bit about being more inclusive and and how we help people move through some of those stuff, because it's not just about your body, it's your emotional well-being, it's what you've been taught, it's those triggers. Talk to me a little bit about inclusivity.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely Well.

Speaker 1:

In my business and I can only speak for myself, you know I firmly believe that healthy looks different on every person and that your healthy space is a place where you're not limited, a place where you can do all the things that you need to do in your life and you have joy in your heart and you're able to do those things without limitations.

Speaker 1:

And so when I talk to my clients, I work with them in the very beginning on just understanding, like why they're wanting to shift and why they're wanting to change. Because the thing about it is I want to lose 10 pounds and fit in a bikini. It's not going to knock the Doritos out of your hand Like you have to have a bigger why than I want to be in a bikini. And it's not to knock people who want to lose 10 to 15 pounds but like that's really not my clientele. The people that come to me, they're finding themselves that they're not keeping up with their kids in the playground. They're grandmas who want to be there for their grandkids and so their health isn't going to look like a six pack, you know they're not going to have massive muscles Maybe.

Speaker 1:

Maybe when they get to a healthy space, they might continue onward and build, but my job is to help them get from A to B and provide a roadmap, and so when we look at inclusivity, it's not like look at me like I am not a fitness model, I just keep it a real. My healthy space is a size 810, size medium shirt and I'm sure that if you were to pull the audience of online health and wellness coaches, they would say differently. They would say you have to walk the walk, talk the talk. I feel like being able to be in a healthy space where I'm not limited makes it more available to my clients to see themselves in me and trust me with such a precious thing as a health journey which is so personal.

Speaker 1:

Like you said, you go in through these boxes. There's the messy middle part, like I share before and afters of my clients often and they'll see like the before the before, which is like I'm not at my best, to the after, which is I'm actually feeling good and free and I had found freedom. There's no middle messy spot that that that gets shown and there's a lot of. I call it the, the cupid shuffle. You're like to the left, to the left, to the right, forward and back. It's not a straight line, and so I like to show the messy middle in my own journey, but I think it's important to include that and also show people that the end game is not perfection. It's a place where you can live and be in that body and feel your best.

Speaker 2:

Well, and I think that's true for a lot of different things, but I agree with you in this in this kind of weight loss industry, this kind of health and wellness industry, what it is is like you start hearing you in here, but the fact of the matter is the fact of the matter is is that life is still occurring every single time, and what is needed during that time isn't like just don't eat that thing. What is needed is hey, I got you, I get it. There's no shaming, there's no judgment. It's the same in the work I do, right, it's. It's not from you go, from suffering and to it I'm going to just say it, even though it's cliche, it sounds like this enlightenment, this awareness that what you need and how you want to interact in the world and in between there, there are ups and downs, and this is how life is. So the most important thing is to find someone that's a fit, that won't shame you, that won't judge you, that will say I got you.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And also unpeeling so many layers of things that got attached to them over the time that they were growing up or the time that they were focusing on their health at a previous time with something else. A lot of my job is undoing a lot of diet toxicity, like just icky stuff that sticks to people. For instance, a lot of my clients they stop eating, like they won't eat. They'll hold off and restrict themselves to a place where their body is not doing well and in my programs, like you have to eat, it's part. You need to eat to live. I don't know if everybody knows that, but like it's a part of you and your body is telling you things and you have to listen to it and it's a guide. And so there's a lot of that undoing.

Speaker 1:

There's a lot of undoing habits which a lot of people get a lot of guilt when it comes to habits Like, oh, I have stress eating or I have late night bingeing or I have this All it is. If you take away all the judgment and the shame, the things you piled onto, it is something you've done over the course of time that has become embedded into who you are and what you do, it's become habitual and because habits can be learned, they can be unlearned and tweaked and renewed into a healthier space. So whenever I hear people are struggling with like, for instance, stress eating, that's a really common one that I deal with. It's not about saying don't eat it, don't eat it Like. It's like when you tell a toddler don't touch the stove. They want to touch the stove immediately, yeah, yeah, immediately. It's about what is that giving you Like? What are you getting from that behavior? That's fueling you to keep doing it.

Speaker 2:

So I feel like this and how do you find that elsewhere?

Speaker 2:

Right, how I mean like I feel like this is a foundational thing that people struggle with, just naturally right and about like, what is that giving you? And really part of it too, for anyone listening, you are not. How do I say this? You're not doing this to yourself Like I, I'm gonna take a, I'm gonna take a minute here to be like. I hear people all the time yesterday, three of my clients. I'm doing this to myself. Why can't I just this? My stuff is keeping me. I'm totally responsible.

Speaker 2:

This is something I want to destigmatize, because you are not solely responsible for what you do In this way, because it's co-created. When you grew up all those years and were taught, you deprive yourself more than you feed yourself. You take away, you accept all responsibility for everyone else. If we can release some of that and not take all of it, you're not the one that does this to you. Just like Christina is saying, you've learned patterns. It is a pattern and a pattern can be undone, just like you know we. That is somewhere where I think it's so interesting how our businesses are so parallel and, at the same time, help people in different ways.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely Well, a lot of my businesses helping people learn how to sit with their feelings, you know, and being okay with being human, you know, sometimes I actually went to a conference once where there was a leader talking and he said what if you just talk to yourself as someone you had compassion for, like, oh, I see that you're stressed, it's okay. It's okay to be stressed, sometimes it's stressful. Some things are stressful, like if you were to just talk to yourself like a friend and work through those emotions. Emotions are like a wave, they come in, they come out, usually a few seconds if you were just to feel it. The problem is is in my business and so many the whole world, we don't wanna feel those things and so we bury them. We bury them with alcohol, we bury them with food, we bury them with a celebrity gossip, like insert, like thing here.

Speaker 2:

Well, with total driving, like just this constant accomplishment, this constant need of chaotic kind of I've gotta be doing the next thing, yeah Well that that would be the whole here. God Over exercising like getting, I mean like there's all the things, Gossip.

Speaker 1:

Focusing outward on, I see a lot on the internet chat boards and like Facebook comments, Like people are so angry and like they lash out at folks and it's like what's going on with you? What are the feelings that are going on with you, that you're using this space to escape and push and like have that spot be so negative?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, I know that very well. You know a lot of people enter into my comments. They enter in comments about the pod, this podcast, this show highlighting the LGBTQ plus community and I did a episode a couple of weeks ago and really it is, I'll say it again here is that if you look at something outside of yourself and you are extremely derogatory and you have very strong demeaning opinions and judgments about that thing whether, no matter what it is, is that that is not about the thing, that is about you. And you need to look at that stuff within yourself and you need to say, hey, listen, how do I learn to love these parts of myself? How do I learn to not judge myself, not shame myself, not have to deprive myself? What are the patterns that are there? And a lot of times, people don't they just want to get mad about it, right? They just want to blurt their shit out and walk off. You know, and I'm not good with that and I think that there's a lack of.

Speaker 1:

I think there's a lack of emotional intelligence too, as just a community of folks is. When you receive that, how do you receive it and how do you? React and retaliate to that. I've learned a lot over the course of the last few years. I mean I lost 70 pounds, like just putting it out there Like I lost 70 pounds.

Speaker 1:

I went on to have a healthy pregnancy, had a baby. I'm now in pursuit of my best self again. I've dealt with some negative stuff. People are mean, they are mean online and I have gotten some DMs that are ugly Like I remember, after I had the baby and I was sharing, you know, my openness of my journey, I had gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy. I gained like I think, like 80 pounds and part of it was Burger King chicken sandwiches. I'm gonna blame it, I'm naming it.

Speaker 2:

But part of it was.

Speaker 1:

I had a lot. I'm claiming it Burger King but I also went through the death of my father during my pregnancy and it was really really tough and it came against a lot of habits that I had created. A lot of things spiraled. All that to say is I gained a lot of weight. I'm coming to my journey again and I get these hater comments Like just a few, and it doesn't need to take a lot Like it, just one or two negative things can really sit there.

Speaker 1:

I got a really negative comment of how are you supposed to share like people getting healthy with you when you gained a hundred pounds and I was like, oh, I feel that. Like I got it in my DMs. I felt it. I was like that is mean. Oh, what's going on with her.

Speaker 1:

But my first retaliation was not let's think about what's going on in her world, it was like I'm gonna take off my hoop earrings, I'm gonna like fire it up. But I have learned over the last five years that, like I'm in control of my reactions and they get what they get from me based on what I give them. So I didn't respond to that and I took that in and I went. How was that kind of true? And if it's not kind of true, how was it false? And I really like dived into that comment and I reaffirmed what I thought about me, because it matters what I think about me more than what others do Preach, and that was not a skill I had before I started getting healthy. A lot of my program works on the mental mindset of reaction. I'm trying to teach my clients to not react to life and, more so, take a stand and create their own path based on what they wanna do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, when you know the negative comments, we talk about it in the online world, but many of our audience will know that it's in the real world too, like it's in the 3D. Let's just call it a 3D world, right? Not the online world. Yeah, and it can happen and the reactions can be the same. It can be a little bit difficult when you're standing face to face with that person or they're sitting across from you. I've had it all done. I've had it all done to me as an LGBTQ plus person in my business, as in being a therapist for 25 years, and in the online world, and really, when I see those comments, you know, the thing that I do is I read it and then the majority of the time, there is no thought of is this honest? Like, is this true? I can read it, I'll know instantly what. I neither take it or leave it, and it is the realization that that energy is not welcome in my business, in my life, and doesn't need to enter into my mind. Like I don't watch the news. People are like how can you not watch the news? You won't know what's going on. I was like oh, believe me, I'll know what's going on if something really hits the fan. Right, I'm just going to keep doing my thing over here. I'm going to know how I'm going to react to that. I'm going to know how I want to be in the world and I think this goes towards both in your in a health and wellness journey, because right now I'm 10 pounds heavier than I was probably four to five months ago and it's menopause and it's the things that I'm not going to hate myself for it. I'm going to love myself for it and I'm just going to work through because, you know, if we start stressing out, we have more cortisol, we have more all the things that cause inflammation in the body that are not helpful, yeah right. So, as we're going to wrap it up here, man, we could talk about this all day.

Speaker 2:

I feel like you and I have had like a five minute conversation. Can I just say that I feel like it's been so short. It's like we need more time. We need more time. But that's what I love about the the guests I mean the guests I choose for my show are because I want to have a good time and we have good chemistry and good energy and they stand for something. So, first of all, say thanks so much for being on the show, but in this last few minutes before we end, in general, so we know, like in health and wellness space, but someone DMs you and they say Listen, I'm really struggling. I'm tired of seeing this way in the online world and it makes me feel bad about myself. I look at my friends and they're doing whatever and they get to be happy. I'm putting this in quotation marks for the podcast people. I want to be, I want to feel good, I want to be happy. What would you tell them?

Speaker 1:

I would tell them that the thing at the end that you're seeing them have, that you think makes them happy, is probably not the thing that's making them happy.

Speaker 1:

I would say that most of my clients come in from a place of I'm unhappy, I'm uncomfortable and I want to be happy and I want to be radiant and I want to be confident they see that other side as this golden rainbow, like in the pot of gold situation, and the reality is is there is no in destination. This is an ongoing path. It's like going to therapy four times and being like I'm cured. That's not the way it works. You have to work.

Speaker 2:

Not if you want sustainable. Not if you want sustainability.

Speaker 1:

No, and so what I would say is think about in your world what happiness looks like to you. And I tell my clients often, close your eyes and picture yourself in like almost like a movie sense of where you're at at the end destination. How are you feeling, what are you wearing? Who are you with? Like what's going on in your world, and then write that down because that's your happy and that doesn't have a size gene, that doesn't have a number on the scale. It's going to be a place that you work towards constantly and there's going to be times where stuff challenges it, where it comes against it, and you've got to keep that person, that person on the other side, in alignment with what you're doing day to day, because it's hard, it's really hard, but if you have a clear vision of where you're going, you find a path, and it might not look like a straight line, it might not look like Susie over there.

Speaker 1:

But, it's going to be hard earned, yeah Right. Well, it's like you can't. People want this quick fix. They want to like grab a drug, grab a surgery, grab this. The thing about it is think about people who win the lottery. Right, they get all this money immediately. I don't know what to do with it. They get crazy Like you have to earn your stripes, earn your badges in order to sustain that, that space that you're in. You have to learn about yourself, and that's hard work. People don't want to do it, but that is the work. That is the thing that you're avoiding doing.

Speaker 2:

It is the answer. The answer, as you know I mean, you've watched me long enough the answer is knowing yourself. The answer is saying what does it feel like when it's out of alignment? What does it feel like when it's in alignment? How do I continue to be in alignment? What are the decisions I want to make? Yes, it is hard working. At the same time, it does get easier in some areas. The more you know and commit to yourself and are able to have as internal way of being, you're no longer subjected to the external stimulants or triggers that are there, you'll know how to handle them. You'll know how to move through.

Speaker 1:

People often come to me and they're like, yeah, yeah, but what if I gave my weight back? And I always say, if you decide to do this for a short time and then go right back to what you were doing, you absolutely will, 100%, you will Straight up. But if you commit to changing these habits, learning about yourself and growing, what happens is you don't become perfect, you don't become the spiritual like above, holy or person Like you basically are walking a tightrope for the rest of your life. That has a net underneath you and those nets, the net, is your habits and you'll know when you fall out of alignment with that, because that net will catch you, because your eyes are awakened to the way who you could be. And when you get caught by that, it's a faster rebound up as opposed to right now, which is all or nothing, and that's what's happening in your world. So it's not about.

Speaker 1:

Back to your question. What would you tell someone who wants to be happy? Build it Break by break. Build the life that's going to create that happiness in you, and realize that it's not external, it's not gonna be a jeans size, it's not gonna be looking like Jenny over there. It's gonna be attached to your happiness and your goals.

Speaker 2:

Okay, well, there you have it, my peeps, my beautiful friends.

Speaker 1:

Boom, Chaka Laka yeah.

Speaker 2:

I swear I'm still gonna get like a foam thing that's microphone, that's covered in like rhinestones to be like. There you go, okay, so really quickly tell everyone how they can reach you if they wanna reach out to you, and I'll make sure to put it in the description of the podcast on the YouTube channel.

Speaker 1:

I would say probably my Instagram. It's XtinaStruckmire. Xtina liked the old Christina Aguilera. Yeah, I went there. Oh, that's funny, xtinastruckmire. And then you can also find me by searching ChristinaStruckmire on Facebook. I don't have business accounts, so just friend me and I am okay to friend.

Speaker 2:

All right, my friends, we would love to hear if this has inspired you or empowered you in any way. Whether you just are like I wanna improve my life or I have a health and wellness journey I'm working on, or I'm looking for a health and wellness journey, make sure to hit up Christina. She is someone who does talk and support her people, and so look her up if that's something you wanna explore. All right, my friends, I will end this video like I end every single video. Please make sure to stay true to yourself, be kind to others and always, always, always, honor the wise one that is within all of you. We will see you next on the next road to radical visibility.

Speaker 2:

Until then, bye. Hey, hold up, don't go yet. If this episode inspired and empowered you to be 100% yourself, 100% of the time, no shame or guilt needed, even just a little bit more. Please rate and leave a review. I'm here and I know you are too to leave a positive impact in the world. So please share this episode with your friends, family or that random stranger, because we never know who you'll inspire by just being you. I'll see you on the next road to radical visibility. Bye.