Daily Discouragement can make us feel like we are walking in the dark. In this episode, Amy shares four ways she is learning to walk towards the light of God’s love and provision and how this moves us away from discouragement.
May 3, 2022; Ep. 84
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If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
Daily Discouragement can make us feel like we are walking in the dark. In this episode, Amy shares four ways she is learning to walk towards the light of God’s love and provision and how this moves us away from discouragement.
May 3, 2022; Ep. 84
Timestamps & Key Topics:
Episode Links & Resources:
If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
Amy J. Brown 0:00
Hey friends and welcome to another episode of Take Heart. Before we get started today, I wanted to remind you that you can find free resources, show notes, and ways to connect with us at our website www.takeheartspecialmoms.com You can also sign up for our newsletter, where we share great resources with you each month. Thank you.
Amy J. Brown 0:38
Welcome to Take Heart, where our goal is to offer encouragement, give hope and insight, so you can flourish in your journey as a special needs mom. As we explore monthly themes, share inspiring stories, and practical tips, our desire is to continue to serve you and your listeners. Carrie, Sara, and I want to thank you for joining us today.
Amy J. Brown 1:25
Hi, this is Amy Brown, and today we're talking about daily discouragement. When I started to pray about what I wanted to say to you about discouragement, I tried to come up with one story I could tell you about when I was really battling discouragement and how I overcame it. I have to say I don't have one specific moment. I have so many moments, too many to count when I've been discouraged. I've been discouraged by behavior, lack of resources, teachers that don't get it, friends and family that don't get it, loneliness, grief, and what seems like an insurmountable to-do list. That is just the beginning. Before I go any further let me say this though, not all of our life is negative; we know this. All of us can look at the joys and gifts that are part of our lives as special needs parents, and these joys and gifts come right alongside discouragement, but discouragement can sometimes overshadow the appreciation of these gifts. If you are a mom that is struggling with daily discouragement, I want to take a few moments to say I understand and show you how I'm learning to deal with my own struggles with discouragement. When I was a kid like all kids, I couldn't wait for Christmas. I looked forward to getting gifts, seeing my cousins, going to my grandma's house. My grandma was an Indiana farm wife, and there was nothing she couldn't do. She was an incredible seamstress and every year, she would make our clothes, pajamas, and robes for Christmas. Now what kind of kid wants a robe for Christmas? Well, not me. I wanted toys, so I would open up my gift made in love and smile and say thank you, but I was not really happy about it. To make matters worse, my cousin's got toys, not fair! What I did not know is that due to financial issues, my cousins were not going to get any toys that year, so my grandma had filled in the gap. What I also could not appreciate at a young age is that a handmade gift made especially for me, with fabric, lovingly picked out in my favorite colors, and made to fit me; all of that was made in love. I was too young to know the whole story and appreciate the work that went into that gift. I have thought a lot about those gifts. All gifts are given in love and especially the gifts God gives. We don't always have eyes to see this, do we? Discouragement blinds us to his gifts. I get it. Life as a special needs parent is really frustrating at times, and not all in our life is perfect, not by a longshot. God gives each gift in love, and we can unwrap those gifts in hope.
Amy J. Brown 4:03
I'm going to be really transparent and share my heart here. One of the gifts that have been the most wonderful gift of my life has also been the most disappointing gift and that's been motherhood. Disappointment of unmet expectations comes with a lot of heartache. I'm a mom of kids with reactive attachment disorder. My kids can't attach to me. They've been violent towards me, and they've rejected me. They can't show me love in a way that I expected. Now I'm not blaming my kids. They come with trauma and issues with their brain, but this journey of motherhood has been heartbreaking at times. It's not the heartache of a sick baby or a teen that's heart's hurting. It's the heartache of being a RAD Mom. Let me say here that if you have a child that cannot show you love, whether that child has RAD or not, I understand and see you. My expectations of motherhood were not met, and maybe you feel the same way, and maybe that discourages you. But no matter how hard or dark life gets, how discouraged we get, there's a solid foundation of love that is beneath us, and we can count on that. How do we learn to look at our lives with hope and joy when we are discouraged? How do we look at our lives and know that they have been fashioned and made by a God who loves us? How do we overcome the daily darkness of discouragement? Let me give you a metaphor to think about. Back in the pioneer days, farmers would string a rope from the barn to the house, so they would not get lost in a snowstorm. Without that rope to hold on to a farmer could be a few feet from home and wander in the wrong direction getting lost in the snow because the snow blinded him, and he could not see the light of home. If he kept his hand on that rope, that rope will guide them to the warmth and light of home. Discouragement can be like that blinding snow, and we can walk towards the warmth and light of home when we hold fast to God and His love. When we hold on to God, He illuminates the path and warms our weary faces, and brings peace and comfort. Are you weary? Angry? Afraid? Doubting? Alone? discouraged? I understand, but why do we hover in the dark? I think we look too far down the road and think the journey is too hard, and we become discouraged. But God asks us to take one step at a time. He asks us to accept the invitation to come closer to the door, to the warmth of the light, to the gift of rest, companionship, hope, and joy.
Amy J. Brown 6:47
How do we step into the light of home? Well, first of all, rest. The end. No excuses, we need to rest. A well-rested body is a spiritual practice. The burdens we carry are not just our to-do list, but the heavier burden of grief and loneliness and the unrelenting lie that we have to do it all ourselves. We have to trust Jesus to carry the load that he was made to carry, and the one we were never intended to carry. This is his gift to us - carrying our load. There's a story in the Bible about the prophet Elijah. It's in First Kings 19. This is the backstory. Elijah was a prophet, and he was exhausted from his work. The life of a prophet was hard. They were often misunderstood, and God asked a lot of them. Does that sound familiar? At this time, the Queen Jezebel wanted Elijah dead, and so he ran for his life. He ran into the wilderness, and he was so overcome with discouragement he asked God to take him home. He like us thought I can't do this one more day. I've had enough. What did God say to him? Did God say, "Buck up." No. He sent an angel to give Elijah bread and water and Elijah went to sleep. I want to read a part of this to you from I Kings 19, verses six through ten. "Then Elijah lay down under the bush and fell asleep. And all at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." He looked around, and there by his head was some baked bread, a jar of water. He ate and drank and he lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." So he got up ate, drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled 40 days and 40 nights until he reached the mountain of God." Do you see the tenderness of our God here inviting Elijah to rest, eat and drink. Here's what I want to say to you. You need to eat. You need to rest. You need to take care of you because the journey is too much for you without this. If you don't know how to take time for rest or take care of yourself, you can listen to our series on rest and self-care in season one. They are episodes 29 to 33, and we give you some real resources on how to rest, and I will put those in the show notes.
Amy J. Brown 9:20
Another way that we come towards the light of home is to reach out to others, and I will admit that this is hard for me. I would rather just shoulder it alone. I don't want to burn my friends out with all my struggles, but we are meant for connection and community. Without it we cannot thrive. In a recent Instagram post, Ann Voskamp said this. "What you don't know how to live through, you're going to live through because your maker will come in unexpected ways of other hands to carry you through." Did you catch that? We can make it through our discouragement because God will send people into our lives. Who can you reach out to today? Maybe it's a quick text or a phone call. Don't go it alone. There is no quicker way to get lost in a snowstorm of discouragement than going so alone.
Amy J. Brown 10:12
Another way that we walk into the light is to look up. The light helps us to be clearly seen. The truest thing about you is that God loves you and sees you, not how messy your house is, how much weight you gained during the pandemic, what your child can or cannot do, or how hard your marriage is. Yes, those things matter, but this is not the first thing God sees when he looks at you. Step into the light and be seen. Bring all these issues and your loneliness and grief, your perfectionism and your discouragement into the light and pray. Prayer arises from our deepest hope to be home. Don't make it too hard to settle into God and tell him what is in your heart. Open up to him, share everything, sit on the bench with God and let your prayer be the breath that gives you life.
Amy J. Brown 11:04
Another way that we can come into the lightest to choose joy. I was recently listening to a podcast called the "Slow Way" by Misha Goya, and I will link this in the show notes. She talked about inefficient joy. When I first heard this concept, I thought what does that mean? She gave me an example of doing something joyful, that doesn't have a purpose, and her example was walking in the park. It's not to get her steps in. It's not to listen to something and learn. She walks in the park alone, not for exercise purposes or learning purposes, but in the quiet to enjoy the beauty of nature. This is her inefficient joy. Now she's a special needs mom, so she understands where we're coming from. She's talking really about wonder and joy. What can we do to bring joy into our lives? How can we do the opposite, get out of our familiar routines? Maybe you can get a coffee on the way to therapy, or read a fiction book instead of another book about treatment and disease. Clear space in your home that's beautiful and just for you. Drive home a different way. Look at the moon at night and let its quiet beauty calm you. Step into an older church and look at the art. We need to look for little signs of hope. Choosing joy requires us to step into the light. Henry Nowen says in his book "Return To the Prodigal," this quote. "Once you choose joy in the midst of suffering life becomes a celebration. Joy never denies the sadness but transforms it into a fertile soil for more joy." I have to be honest when I first read that I thought the word celebration was a little too much. Really I'm supposed to celebrate, but that is because when we're in the dark, celebration does seem impossible. Walking into the light and seeking joy is a celebration all by itself. I've become accustomed to living in discouragement, my arms aching from holding all the heavy things: working, doing, planning, problem-solving. My eyes are blind to the beauty and joy and my ears are deaf to the sound of connection, and my body unable to rest. But friend, God wants us to come home to him. In the midst of the darkness, the fatigue, and the daily discouragement, God continues to invite me into a deeper walk of trust with him.
Amy J. Brown 13:30
In closing, here are a few questions to consider as we deal with discouragement. I encourage you to find a quiet place to sit with God and ask Him to help you see how you can walk into the light. Where can you slow down and rest? When you think of connection, what friends come to mind? Who can you reach out to? When you think of joy and celebration what images come to mind? What makes your heart light up? Where can you create more space, joy and celebration, and beauty? What gifts has God given you that you can open with hope seeing his loving hand in all?
Amy J. Brown 14:31
Thank you for joining us this week on Take Heart. Our prayer each week is for your heart to be encouraged. We are grateful you are walking on this journey with us. Thanks for listening in and join us next week when Carrie will share about dealing with daily discouragement.