When you feel discouraged, it’s easy to believe that God doesn’t care. In this episode, Sara encourages us to invite God into our spaces of discouragement, and how to adjust our posture to receive God’s care. You don’t have to look at the world as though your glass is half-full or half-empty because God restores our glasses when they shatter and refills them when they’re empty.
May 17, 2022; Ep. 86
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If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
When you feel discouraged, it’s easy to believe that God doesn’t care. In this episode, Sara encourages us to invite God into our spaces of discouragement, and how to adjust our posture to receive God’s care. You don’t have to look at the world as though your glass is half-full or half-empty because God restores our glasses when they shatter and refills them when they’re empty.
May 17, 2022; Ep. 86
Timestamps & Key Topics:
Episode Links & Resources:
If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
Sara Clime 0:01
Welcome to Take Heart. This is episode 86. Our mission here at Take Heart is to offer encouragement give hope and insight, so you can flourish in your journey as a special needs mom. Make sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter where we share free resources, encouraging playlists, and some of our current favorites. You can sign up on our website at www.takeheartspecialmoms.com.
(1:28) Hi It's Sara this week, and I am so glad that you're here. This month we have been talking about fighting daily discouragement. Typically discouragement is not specific to those with disabilities or special needs. That's not what we're saying. Our families don't have sole rights to ongoing or reoccurring challenges. Daily discouragement is something every single human deals with, whether they are the most positive person or whether they are negative or cynical. They deal with it, whether they admit it or not. The difference is that as moms or children with disabilities or special needs, we have daily discouragements that others don't understand. We have discouragement that also leaves us feeling more isolated and alone. Every day on the way to drop off my son at school, I pray because I know that there is a strong possibility someone will be parked in and or blocking the accessible parking spaces. There is a strong possibility that someone will be parked in front of the only part of the curb where my son can access school. To others, they are running late to work, and those spots are the quickest or they rarely see anyone in them. So what's the big deal? It's hard to describe to others how frustrating and discouraging this is. Every. Single. Day. I'm not sure if you caught it earlier, but I mentioned that I pray before getting to school. I used to not do that. Then whenever I first started it, I prayed simply for selfish reasons. Some days, I forget to pray. I used to think that there was no way God would want me to bother with him with something like this every single day. Surely out of everything this special needs life throws at me, parking shouldn't be high on the list of divine priorities. I have found and truly believe that that is simply not true. Those are the lies the devil whispers distracting us from the all-encompassing care of God. God does care. Nothing is too minor for him. If it is something we struggle with, he cares about us, period. Yes, that includes caring about my parking nightmares. I have learned that praying or just breathing in and letting God direct my mood helps me tremendously. Okay, I'm going to be a little real here. No, that doesn't always help. I'm human, and so is everyone else. There are people who simply just don't care and will never care. There are days I leave school, livid to the point I'm shaking, and on other days, I am so upset. I'm shaking from crying. I don't always handle myself or the situation well. I can say though, that when I invite God into that space with me, I do handle it so much better. I have learned that God cares about my daily discouragement.
(4:06) Ironically enough, as I was thinking about this episode, I kept getting interrupted by ongoing construction in our neighborhood. I live in a newer neighborhood, and there are no fewer than five houses being built at any given time. This particular day, I had the house to myself and my husband was at work. My son was at school. The jobs were quiet, and it was a gorgeous day outside. I thought I'm going to sit on the deck with an iced tea, and I'm going to write. I was so excited I was giddy. I no longer sat down and the low-down noises started the banging, clanging, drilling, yelling, and some insane noise that I can only describe as someone trying to drill through to the other side of the Earth. The noise was coming at me in one direction. Off and on, I could have handled it, but this was a symphony of chaos in surround sound. I was irritated and my skin felt like it was crawling. I was also so extremely discouraged as I was already been, and I needed to get my thoughts down. I quickly determined that this was not going to get me down. I would just go for a walk and hope whatever mining expedition was going on down the street, it would be finished by the time I returned, I decided on this walk, I was going to go the other way in the neighborhood away from the noise. Lately, I had been extremely intentional in paying attention to my body and how I physiologically react to my moods. As I started a walk, I was taking stock of my facial expressions: they were not pleasant, my posture: extremely rigid, and my breathing: short and irritated. I stopped in my tracks, took a few deep breaths, and realized I was literally walking away from my issues. Corny, yes, but this always works for me. I decided to turn around and face my distractions and face my irritations head-on. It seems silly at the time because I was going for a walk to get away from it all, or at least to try to get away, but I felt the pull to walk through the construction lane. The closer I got, the banging and clanging got louder. Then, the most amazing thing happened. I quickly realized the yelling wasn't all business. Their crew was laughing and telling jokes, giving each other a hard time. It had rained, so one guy's boots were stuck in the mud, and he was yelling at the others to bring him his other boots. They were not being helpful. One was even holding said boots, and they were instead of laughing and calling out not so helpful options for this poor guy. They were all enjoying each other. At one point one said something that was well, let's just say it was colorful. It caught me off guard, and I chuckled out loud. Another guy turned around and noticed me and said, "Oh, sorry, ma'am. Didn't see you walking by." I told him it was quite alright, and I wished him a good day. A few waved a few chuckled like they got caught doing something that was wrong. I walked away smiling. The noise was no longer unpleasant. It made me think, how do I face my discouragements? Do I face it straight on, or do I flee? Do I grumble and wish it away, or do I stop to see if there is any beauty in it? Am I only seeing the negative, or is there joy to be had if I dig deep enough? I was not seeing God at that moment. I was focused inward - on my need to get something done and my desire to do it outside in the sunshine with tea. Neither of those things is inherently bad. I think God has a bigger message he needed me to understand. He provided noise enough for me to help my agenda, so I could create space to listen to what he wanted to say. Sometimes in the midst of our challenges and discouragements perhaps the best thing to do is not to white knuckle our way through it, but to turn to God for encouragement. Perhaps then discouragement is more a matter of posture. Whenever we are turned toward and focusing on discouragement, we have our back to encouragement. When we are fleeing discouragement, we aren't standing still long enough to let the encouragement shine through. So which way are we facing? Are you facing toward the devil's discouragement, therefore having your back to God's encouraging love and mercy? Or are we turned toward God, giving the devil and his schemes our back? Are we facing the light, or are we facing the dark? What is our posture in these moments of discouragement?
(8:30) That is not to say that daily discouragements are easy to remedy or handle. They aren't, and I would never suggest that they are. This is not me minimizing our daily struggles, so I won't sugarcoat it. Some discouragement just stinks, period. Taking a walk and praying for the construction workers was a good thing but it didn't write this episode. That walked did not eliminate the noise and the headaches that arise occasionally from all those noises. What the walk did was changed my posture at that moment. What that walk did, and that prayer did, they eliminated me as part of the problem and inserted God as part of the solution. Praying on the way to school is changing my posture about that daily discouragement. Praying on the way to school doesn't make other people more sensitive. Praying hasn't made some of the less rude. Focusing on God instead of me or the other drivers changes me it doesn't change them. Letting God help direct me on those morning drives to school, it changes my posture. I am no longer white-knuckling the drive in an anticipated frustration. Instead, I play bad 80s music with my son. I talk about his day. He rolls his eyes because mom is asking too many questions. We're just making sure he gets the best side of mom that I can give him. Until Christ returns. discouragements are going to be a part of our daily lives at least on some level. Asking for God's guidance and praying through the challenges honestly won't eliminate the messy and heartbreaking parts of my son's diagnosis. It doesn't rectify the financial strains, the irritations we often face when navigating disabilities, or even the broken parts of my heart watching my son face this disease and deteriorate and what that means for his future. However, if we are aware of our posture, that is to say, if we are facing encouragement or discouragement, we are arming ourselves with the ability to handle any challenge. Whatever discouragement, the devil throws at us, God is always there to deflect it. Maybe you're thinking, Sara, this is all fine and good after the fact, but in the midst of the daily struggles, I just get lost. I lose my cool, I break down, I flee. Well, that's okay, too. I don't think we ever get perfect at turning over everything to God. It's a practice we have to continually engage in. I didn't realize that parking was an issue until I took a step back. I was looking over some past journals. I love to journal. I also intentionally go back and look at what I've written occasionally. It was one of those reviews that I noticed a trend of complaining and written tirades about parking every morning. So I stopped and prayed for God to help me come up with a solution. Honestly, when I asked for help with a solution, I was probably thinking more of a solution to where I didn't have to deal with the other lovely parents anymore in the mornings. Instead, God's solution was to work on me. Do I always get it right? No, but I see gradual changes, I'm getting better. I see the gradual softening of my posture from being discouraged every morning to being encouraged by my son and the time I get to spend with him.
(11:47) One last thing. Remember discouragement does not mean you aren't in control. It doesn't mean our glasses have to be half full. I honestly cannot stand that expression. I don't think as God adored and desired children that we have anything but a glass that is always overflowing. God is our living water and through him in any situation, our glass is always refillable. Even if our glass has cracks or shatters, God will still find a way to pour water of life to each of us if we stay still long enough to collect it. I want to leave you with this poem entitled, No Wonder We Need by Deborah Ann.
Life is full of storms,
valleys plenty deep,
no wonder we need…
a Good Shepherd's keep.
With all the uncertainty,
each day we must face
no wonder we need…
a sufficient dose of grace.
Our fears can be many,
our worries limitless
no wonder we need…
God's mercy measureless.
With all the challenges,
we daily go through
no wonder we need…
God our hearts to renew.
Life is full of storms,
with winds so unexpected
no wonder we need…
to run until perfected.
(13:17) Thanks for joining us this week on Take Heart. Our prayer each week is for your heart to be encouraged. We are grateful you were walking on this journey with us. If you have any questions or comments, follow the links in our show notes. We love hearing from our listeners. Join us next week as we wrap up this month on dealing with daily discouragements.