Welcome back to the third season of the Take Heart Podcast. It’s our 100th episode and we are celebrating! As we kick off this new season, we wanted to start by going back to the beginning of how Take Heart came to be, and share with you the reason we do this work, and the importance of our name Take Heart.
In this episode all three of us our coming together to talk about how this podcast, Take Heart came to be. We thought it would be fun to take you back to the beginning of how we met and how we started this podcast. We are grateful for each and every one of you, our listeners. Thank you for being here with us.
September 27, 2022; Ep. 100
Show Links:
Show Takeaways:
If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
Welcome back to the third season of the Take Heart Podcast. It’s our 100th episode and we are celebrating! As we kick off this new season, we wanted to start by going back to the beginning of how Take Heart came to be, and share with you the reason we do this work, and the importance of our name Take Heart.
In this episode all three of us our coming together to talk about how this podcast, Take Heart came to be. We thought it would be fun to take you back to the beginning of how we met and how we started this podcast. We are grateful for each and every one of you, our listeners. Thank you for being here with us.
September 27, 2022; Ep. 100
Show Links:
Show Takeaways:
If you enjoyed our podcast, please...
Amy J. Brown 0:10
Welcome to Season 3 of Take Heart, where our goal is to offer encouragement give hope and insight so you can flourish in your journey as a special needs mom. As we explore monthly themes, share inspiring stories and practical tips, our desire is for you to feel connected and encouraged. If you are encouraged today, we would love it if you would share our podcast with a friend. All of our resources including an entire written transcript of this episode is available on our website at www.takeheartspecialmoms.com. There are also quick links to anything we mentioned in the show notes of this episode. Thank you for joining us today.
[1:04] Welcome to Episode 100 of Take Heart. We are so glad you're here. If you are new to us welcome, and if you've been with us a while thank you for continuing to listen. We thought it would be fun to take you back to the beginning of how we met and how we started this podcast. We met in January of 2020. The three of us signed up for a Hopewriters Mastermind Cohort. It's a group of about 25-27 writers who would meet weekly on Zoom, and this was pre-pandemic. So, Zoom was not an everyday thing. We also had some more intensive meetups three times a year that we're going to do for this year. So here we are. It's February of 2020, and I am getting ready to go to San Diego for my first meeting. I am definitely feeling like the new girl at school. I felt like I don't belong. Everybody's younger and smarter and better, so I decided to reach out to Sara. I knew Sara and Carrie were special needs moms. Carrie, I think Toby was in the hospital or something, so I didn't reach out to you. But I reached out to Sara.
Sara Clime 2:13
Toby is always in the hospital. I think it's a safe assumption.
Amy J. Brown 2:16
I called Sara because I thought I want one friend that I know before I get there. I talked to her. I'll never forget that conversation. She was gracious enough, not like she was mean, but she was gracious enough to take my call. What I remember about that conversation was she had made a comment about she felt guilty about something. I think it was (I may be putting words in her mouth) TJ's diagnosis, and I remember thinking, why does she feel guilty? That's dumb, like, why would she? Then I thought but I feel guilty too. I think the thing that really struck me in that conversation is what common ground we had that was very illuminating to me. Because up until that point, I thought, well, if you're not a RAD mom or an FASD mom, and if your kids don't have what my kids have, then you cannot understand my life. But there was such common ground between the two of us. Now that being said, there are also so many things that I don't have to deal with, that Carrie and Sara have to deal with. For example, do not park where they need to park their vans. If you want to see Carrie get really mad. I've never had to deal with that, but I've learned so much from that. And you guys have not had to deal with some of the things I've had to deal with, but we have learned so much from each other. We met out in San Diego, and we got together for I think it was hamburgers or something, and we just chatted it up. We decided we wanted to start a podcast, and I will rat Carrie out that she was not sure at first we had to talk her into it.
Carrie M Holt 3:45
I wasn't I thought. I just met these women.
Sara Clime 3:50
I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I thought, ah, man, special needs again. I want to do anything with special needs. Like I didn't go into this thinking it was going to be something with special needs. I thought this was my one shot to get away from disabilities and special needs.
Carrie M Holt 4:09
You know what, Sara? I remember thinking the same thing. I think that's why I was so hesitant because that night we went out to dinner. I remember thinking, that I want to relate to other moms who don't have kids with special needs. Amy, I remember I want to be totally honest here. I don't think I've ever told you this. I remember talking to you. We went to both go get water. It's a week before the world shuts down. We're standing in the hotel. We both went over to get water. I remember feeling connected to you because we both homeschool. When you told me you were a special needs mom, I had doubts at first. I really did because I thought wait, her kids don't have a physical (which I know you do have a son with a physical disability). After that night when the three of us talked and we were there forever, I remember finally saying, "Hey guys, I think we probably should head back. It's really late." But then I thought, we do have so much in common we have so much.
Amy J. Brown 5:08
That's true. Actually, it's funny you say that because I have RAD moms say to me, I didn't realize I was a special needs mom until I heard you talking about it. I want to make a true confession about that meeting. Carrie, how tall are you?
Carrie M Holt 5:19
I am 5' and 1/2".
Amy J. Brown 5:21
I am 5' 8", and I had heels on. All I could think about was I am towering over her right now.
Sara Clime 5:30
I'm 5'3", and I felt I was all on board with doing whatever I needed to because I was not the shortest one.
Amy J. Brown 5:37
We decided to have a podcast and we talked a lot about how we wanted our experiences, to relate to all special needs moms. So whether you're a mom like me with kids with RAD, or you're a Down Syndrome mom, or you have a medically complex child, we all have a common ground. Each one of us has a unique voice. If you've listened long enough, you know that we're each unique in our voices. So, we decided to try this. First of all, I'm going to say three middle-aged moms trying to figure out a podcast. If you have not listened to our first few episodes, just be gracious, we might be a little janky. I feel like we're getting better. One of the things that we wanted to talk about is we do have our core values of hope, joy, and connection. We're also really committed to being honest about how we feel, and what we're going through, and not sugarcoating it with a little happy ending at the end because we don't think that's authentic. Before I continue with our podcast, I just want to say this. I want your listeners to know that we really think and pray for you. We really often ask what we think you need. You are at the forefront of our minds when we're making content. This is just a little call out that if you have a question or a topic you want us to talk about, please reach out because we really want to meet your needs.
Sara Clime 6:58
Well, and I think. Carrie was talking about how she didn't realize that you were special needs. You've had friends that have said I didn't realize that I was a special needs parent. My son wasn't disabled enough for a long time, even though he was considered disabled. I think we all have something to learn, right? Even though we fit in this category, we don't fit into the category in the same way. Just because we have a podcast doesn't mean we have it all figured out. I think the great thing about the three of us doing it together is we realize what we didn't know. We can all figure it out together, or at least fail together. At least cry together and try to figure it out together, try to empathize together. Right? I think that's the beauty of it. It's not that we haven't figured it out. It's just we're willing to fight it out.
Carrie M Holt 7:53
Yeah, and do life together.
Amy J. Brown 7:57
It's interesting that I've learned a lot from you guys. I could have seen at the beginning going, I may learn stuff, but it won't apply to me because they have different special needs. That's not been the case at all, at all?
Carrie M Holt 8:10
Well, and I would like to note too, that I'm not sure our listeners know this, but the three of us do not live in the same state. We are not close in location to each other. It's not like we're getting together, every week for coffee sharing our hearts and things like that. I mean, it's usually over Zoom. There are different creative ways that you can find connection, it doesn't always have to be in a physical location.
Amy J. Brown 8:43
To that point, we don't have a long history. We've known each other since 2020. You don't have to have somebody that you've, you know, been friends with forever. You can make new connections that can be really deep.
Sara Clime 8:56
I know at least once all three of us have said to the other one. Okay, I don't know if this is politically correct or not, but I have a question for you because we don't know what the other one is going through. Each one of our children is so vastly different, so we've asked questions where I know that this is not at all politically correct. However, I'm just going to say it. I think that's the beauty of connection too because we know each other's hearts. I think that that's another lovely part of us, too, is when you do find that connection with each other. You can cut to the chase and really cut to the heart of the matter, right?
Amy J. Brown 9:35
That's so true. Yeah, so true. Well, as you know, our podcast is called Take Heart, and I can't even remember the other titles we came up with, but this is the one that stuck, obviously. One of the reasons it stuck was that we like the verse in John 16:33. Before I read it, I just want to give you a little bit of background. It's Jesus talking to the disciples before He's crucified. This is his big old message to them, and it's a time of confusion for the disciples, misunderstanding, and fear. They didn't know what was coming. Honestly, I don't think they knew it was coming. They did not know it was coming when they signed up to follow Jesus. So Jesus tells them in John 16:33: he says, "I've told you all this, so that in trusting me you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this world, you will continue to experience difficulties, but take heart, I have conquered the world." That is our key verse that started this and kind of wanted it to be our groundwork for how we approach this work. When I read that today, I was reading the word unshakable. I was thinking, is that really possible? I know, Jesus tells us it is. That's my question. Can we be unshakable and assured in this world and deeply at peace? What does that really mean and look like in our lives? If you have any examples of when you felt that way, I'd love to know or when you have struggled with it.
Carrie M Holt 11:05
The first thing that comes to mind for me, is just when you were talking about Jesus talking to his disciples, they had no idea what was coming. I think when we get married, or we become a mom, whatever order that is, and then we become a special needs mom, we just have no idea what's coming. It just made me think about Peter. He is telling Jesus, I will die for you, and then not 24 hours later, he's denying him, and they're hiding. All the disciples scatter, they're hiding after Jesus is dead and buried. I'm sure that they did not feel unshakable. But we know that after the resurrection of God built the church, the Body of Christ, on Peter and the other disciples, apostles, I guess, at that point, who go into the world and build his church. I think one of the things that tell me is that we are deeply dependent on God. When we fall apart, and we don't feel peace, it's okay to go back and say, I'm deeply dependent on you, for life, breath, peace. There are going to be times when we're not unshakable. We're not deeply assured of his peace, or that he's even in control. I think it's just that continual working at our union with Christ, I've been listening to a podcast, about our union with Christ, our oneness with him.
Sara Clime 13:15
For me, I don't want to sound cynical, but I think just as humans, I don't know if it's possible to be completely unshakable all the time, or to be completely at a deep peace all the time. I think it's an ebb and flow. I think that that's just how our finicky hearts are because I am just God's greatest warrior for one moment. Then I get a test result and all of a sudden, I fall apart. I mean, it doesn't seem like it takes a lot for me to just break down and be shaken. Whenever I think of unshakable, I think I'm only unshakable in the fact that God's unshakable. I'm shakable, but I'm not, as long as I let God hold me. The earth shakes me, but if I let God hold me, I know, I can't be shaken. Once I remove myself from his grasp whenever I feel shaken, and that's the only way that I can visualize that. I think that's the only way to be deeply at peace. I think that it's just something I have to continually remind myself of. I wish I was one of those people that woke up and went to bed and every moment in between knew that everything happened for a reason and that I didn't have to remind myself. I mean, I can know that. I know that with every fiber of my being, but somehow I have to be reminded of that a lot.
Amy J. Brown 14:59
think you're totally right, Sara. I think what Carrie said is that Peter walked with Jesus for three years and still, man, he was out the door. So I think that's just encouragement to go, I'm not going to be this peaceful serene person, I'm gonna have moments where I'm hiding. I'm gonna have moments when I'm running out the door. I'm gonna have moments when I'm the Thomas, who's doubting. Unless you make this better, I'm not going to believe you kind of thing. We're all those. They had the benefit of I mean, they walked with Jesus. I think that kind of takes us off the hook, not like an excuse, but we're human. We're real people, and we're not perfect, only God is. I think that just makes the disciples' story just makes it more realistic for us here. I think I used to look at a verse like that and want to take it and take the context of it, and just make it work somehow, not seeing the bigger picture of where it fits in the story, which I think we do a lot of times. God says I should have peace, then why am I so anxious, but I'm not seeing the big story in the trajectory of what the disciples did. For any parent, anybody listening to that says, "I'm not peaceful, I'm anxious." We just keep looking at fixing our eyes on this promise and asking God to help us in that.
Sara Clime 16:17
I think that that's an important reason to consistently find those practices. For me, I fall out of a habit of doing a daily devotion, journaling, reflecting asking God, what is going right in my life, what is going wrong, and what can I do better because I'm thinking, okay, everything's going really well. It's really, it's really easy to not sit and reflect on what's going wrong, when there's so much going right, or things are just moving right along. I think for me, those practices helped me stay on track with it. When you spend that time in the Word and you spend that time with God, you find that it's easier to find that inner peace, because you're keeping that connection. When you do feel shaken, it's easier to think, okay, I know that peace is there. I know how to get it, I just might have to work out a little bit more. Let me go to the tools that I have, that can bring that back to me.
Amy J. Brown 17:21
I would say too, that sometimes, for me, being not at peace doesn't look like I'm anxious and running around; it is I barrel down harder on getting my job done. I'm an over worker. It took me a while to figure that out. Just a few weeks ago, I said to my 27-year-old daughter. I'm just gonna say here if you don't have adults yet, they're really wise and tell you things that you sometimes don't want to hear. I said, "I don't really think I'm that anxious of a person." She just gave me this look like hmmm..that's interesting you should say that. "Okay, what do you mean?" She said, You're not outwardly anxious, but your "to-do: the list is ridiculous. You don't rest, and that's anxiety. I guess I hadn't thought of that as a picture of anxiety. I looked at that as I'm being responsible. I'm just learning now that my overdoing is not me being unshakable; that's me trying to do it on my own. This will be my struggle my whole life, probably because I'm so wired that way. Her comment made me stop and go, huh, I think that is not being at peace. From the mouths of adult children. Let's talk a little bit about connection because it's really important to us, and it's difficult. I'm gonna be upfront and say, I'm 99% introverted. It's the first thing to go. I don't think I need it a lot of times. I know in my head, that I need it. In my heart, I don't always do that. I think if we think about the word take heart means have courage. Connection helps us take heart. I would just love to hear any word you guys have to say about that part of our mission.
Carrie M Holt 19:03
First of all, I mean, I think we've talked about it, like just our connection with Jesus is the most important. We also need other people in our lives. I was thinking about this. It was the episode this summer where Sara interviewed Madeline Cheney, and she was talking about how she found community. I think it was through Instagram. Once she found it, when she knew that there were other people like her, taking their kids to doctor's appointments and having behavior meltdowns in the store, that was when she felt like she wasn't alone, and she was able to share her story with other people and have people share her story with her. There's a lot of research about how when we share stories, there are actually physical things. that your brain does and hormones that it releases when you share stories with one another, and it bonds you to one another. It was after that, that she was able to move outside of her circle and be able to relate better with family and friends who didn't necessarily understand or weren't necessarily walking in her shoes. I just felt like that was so insightful. That was episode 93 if you didn't get a chance to listen to it. One of the things that I think I have figured out is that our connection looks different, based on where our kids are. I can remember in the early days, my son is going to be 16 at the end of this year, and connection I needed it monthly, I needed it weekly. I needed to be able to call a friend or find somebody on social media, or whatever it is that truly got it and understood what I was going through. Now that I'm a little bit of an older mom, and I am realizing that the connection is still needed, it's still there, but it just looks a little bit different. I do think though, that the more connection that you can have, especially in the early parts of your journey and the hard parts of your journey, maybe I shouldn't even say early, but just the really hard parts of your journey, I think it then gives you the courage to be able to expand your group of connections to maybe people that don't completely get it. They really understand pain, because they've been through another type of suffering that they can really relate to. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, but it's just some of the thoughts that I had about the connection and the link with courage.
Sara Clime 22:00
Along those lines, maybe a little different is for me, I have had to learn and this is even with my oldest son who is neurotypical and does not have any disabilities. I mean, he is able-bodied. As he grew, and his interests changed, he let go of one sport, did another, and let go of one activity, his interest changed, so does his friendships. Well, so did my connections with parents on the sidelines or parents in whatever groups and dropping off and carpooling. I think, sometimes the connection is having the courage to pivot, and having the courage to even sometimes let go of some connections that might be changing, and learning how to grow with others, I think that we would all love to have connections with somebody who totally 100% gets us all the time. I think we all want that. We've talked about it before, we all want that best friend, we all want that person who has the other part of the heart, those little BFF necklaces that you get when you're 12 that have the other part of the heart. That just doesn't always happen. I don't think that happens all the time, especially as adults. I think it's okay, that they're not going to get every aspect of your life, and you're going to have different connections for different aspects of your life. I think it's okay to find connections by trial and error as well. Like Amy, I'm introverted, and that's really difficult, and I overthink everything. I will leave a conversation thinking. Did I say that correctly? Did it come out right? Did I offend them? Because I tend to be blunt, I don't think things through. I don't have a filter all the time. I always worry that I said things too rough. Did I say that out loud I don't know if that actually came out. Did I keep that in my head or not? Sometimes it's just easier for me not to say anything, and just to be in the background. I think when you're like that, it's just that's not always easiest. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and sometimes taking courage in a connection is just being vulnerable enough to put yourself out there. Sometimes it's not being liked. Sometimes it's being misunderstood, and sometimes it's being like, okay, I'm not their cup of tea, and that's okay, then moving on and putting yourself out there again, and again and again. Then it will pay off because you will find that person that gets you and it might be on Zoom. It might be with that person that you didn't understand or you didn't expect, but it will be worth it. It's just going to take some time, and it's not immediate. I think that's what we want. Everybody wants that immediate gratification. I think that's just our society and our nature. If we're going to put ourselves out there we want to right now, but it's going to take time, every relationship does. But it's going to be different for everybody.
Amy J. Brown 25:09
I think that's a really good point, Sara because with social media, we just assume everybody's just invited to all the parties and going to all the fun girl weekends, and it does take time. I can see a listener going. Life's already really hard. I don't want this to take time. I always tell moms, you have to be the inviter because all my friends have said to me, "Well, I wanted to invite you, but I just assumed you wouldn't be able to do it because of the issues at your house." I've had to be brave enough to say, keep inviting me even if I say no 30 times in a row, keep inviting me I'm not avoiding you. Well, I might be. I might be. I guess my point is, if you're listening, you're going, I just don't have the space for this. Everything's hard already. I just want to encourage you with what we've said that we can't live without connection. God made us to be connected. Just like you need to drink water and sleep and eat, you need connection. I wish I could just snap our fingers and have instant best friends. But that's not how it is. I reached out to Sarah, I was kind of nervous. I don't know why I was nervous, but I did, and now here we are. That doesn't always happen, right? I think we just have to tell ourselves, and it's all about expectations. This may not work, I may have to repeat myself. I may have to invite you. It's worth it to me because you don't want to go through life without people. That's how you take heart there and have courage is to keep reaching out and ask God to show you who to reach out to and who he can bring into your life.
Sara Clime 26:44
I think we focus so much on our children being fearfully and wonderfully made. We say all the time that our children no matter what their abilities, no matter what their disabilities, no matter what their needs are, that our children are fearfully and wonderfully made. I wholeheartedly believe that about every single person. That includes me, that's the hardest person to understand. Even with my lack of filter. Because sometimes I'm worried that my thought bubble is out loud. I can, that's the hardest person to acknowledge, that is fearfully and wonderfully made is ourselves. Applying what we say about our children and about other people to ourselves, I think is vital. That takes courage. That takes courage to understand.
Carrie M Holt 27:41
I think we can't discount, praying for God to send the right person to us and the right people to us, because there have been several instances throughout my life, and college is one of them. I'll never forget our president saying, don't assume just because you're in this Christian environment, that you're going to have Christian friends who are going to encourage you and be as iron sharpens iron, you need to pray for them. The interesting thing about that is that 25 years later, one of my friends that I prayed for her son and my son are roommates at the same college we went to, and that's not us. That's God working that out. It doesn't always happen that way. I know. Not every story has a happy ending, but I do know that God seeks to give good gifts to his children, and so we need to ask him for them.
Amy J. Brown 28:36
Yeah, that's good. I will talk a little bit about joy, and how we find joy in the midst of a difficult season. Have you experienced seasons where you could not find joy? I'm sure that all of us have, especially if we struggle with depression. How did you find joy in those moments?
Sara Clime 29:01
I can talk about this one, and I can talk about it in a literal season because I have seasonal depression, and I have chronic depression. I know, that in the fall, I have depression. I am more of the person where I'm like, I can do it with myself, and this is not a problem. I'm not a weak person. I'm not a flighty person. I'm more of...and I'm going to tell my husband right now, "I love you." I just wanted to say that because I know he's probably listening, but I think, "I don't need a man." That has been my motto my entire 25 years of marriage plus. He's laughing and shaking his head yes right now. I don't need him to help me with my depression. Here's the thing. I do, I need somebody. It took a team. It took my therapist to say, "You need to tell your husband here are the things that you can notice to help me." There are certain things that I say, here are some things that I know are indicative of whenever I'm starting to go down to where I don't need to be. Here are some things that you could, you can gently say to me because the poor guy doesn't need to say anything because I'm not quiet either. He's not one to say, "You need to do this, this, and this," because that's not going to end well for him. I know that and I don't want to put him in that position. There are just certain things that for me, I don't want to be a negative person. I love to laugh. I love joy. I love that part of it. It's extremely difficult during that fall season when the seasons change, and I'm having a hard time with it. My husband will just gently come and say, "Hey, do you want me to move your lightbox out?" Or he will just move it out on the desk, so I know that I need to sit in front of my light box for about 10 or 15 minutes. He won't say anything, he'll just gently move it out. He'll just say, "Hey, can we move that light box out, I think it might help me." Sometimes he just takes he takes one for the team, and he'll just sit in front of the lightbox, hoping it helps me by default. That's just one example. I think those are some of the more practical sides of it. There are times when I just have to understand that. This too will pass. I hate this because I know that there are people that are struggling with depression, that in the midst of it, it's so hard to understand that there's going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Because you don't understand how you're gonna get to the end of it. It's hard to describe if you don't have depression, or if you've never suffered through it. I don't want to make light of it, and just say just have your husband set out your lightbox because that's not it. I'm not trying to make light of it. But really pay attention to those things that help you. Ask other people. Do some research. Try to figure that out. Talk to a therapist. Know that when the seasons change, don't wait for the season to change, start upping your therapy a month before that. Start setting in front of your lightboxes ahead of that. Start journaling ahead of that. Join a Bible study group. Start going to the coffee shop earlier, just doing something that you know is going to get you out of your routine that's going to put you in a different space. Those are the things that I do. There are times when I'm like, I don't want to do this, I just know that that's what's best for me. Those are some of the things that I know on a practical side. All of those things are byproducts for me. All of those things will stimulate joy for me in the long run. I need those things in that season. That's just one example for me, that is the season when it's just almost it's extremely difficult, if not impossible to find joy, and I have to work for it. Joy is not always something...it's not whether...I hate the phrase. I shouldn't say hate, my mom's probably cringing. I seriously dislike the word phrase half full or half empty. There's just no such thing, in my opinion of a glass half full or half empty. It's always refillable. What are you going to do to refill your cup, and there are seasons when that cup is just really, really low. You just have to keep pouring into it, keep pouring into it, and that's going to take more work than other seasons. It's just worth it, but it's going to take more work, but the result will be worth it. Not only do I deserve that, and not only does my family deserve that, but God deserves that. I deserve to find that. I deserve to work on that. But it's hard.
Amy J. Brown 34:09
What I like about what you said, Sara is, that you talked about body practices. We've talked about this before that I am really bad about listening to my body. This is to be joyful. It's not just I'm going to think it out, I'm going to be joyful, and it's going to be my thinking. Sometimes we need actual physical practice, sometimes I just need to drink a glass of water and stop what I'm doing and go outside. I think we ignore our bodies a lot. Our bodies matter because Jesus took on flesh, so our bodies matter too. I don't quite think I can articulate it because I'm still working through this, but how my spirit and my body go together in a way that is helping me be more wholehearted about this kind of practice. Like I said I don't have answers yet, but I'm really exploring that. Because I think in the past, I would just think well just buck up and think happy thoughts and just be grateful, right? Sometimes I just need a glass of water, because I haven't anything to drink all day. That immediately makes me feel better, or to stretch or fill in the blank. I really liked that you gave actual physical things that we could be doing.
Sara Clime 35:23
We live in a time right now, where there are so many practical things that you can look up online and practice, and that are going to help you with depression, or if you're struggling stems from trauma. Let's be honest, as special needs moms and mothers with children or caregivers of individuals with disabilities or special needs or additional needs, we have continuous trauma. A byproduct of that will be depression or difficult seasons, if not a continuous difficult season. There will be triggers that happen continuously. Just because joy might be difficult to have does not mean that we're not joyful people. I think that that's where. Well, man, she seems to be depressed, she must just be a depressed person. I'm not a depressed person. I'm sitting here saying, I'm a joyful person. I think sometimes as you said, it's just like, it's not just all rainbows and unicorns all the time. You search for joy. Even Jesus wasn't joyful 100% of the time, he had a joyful heart. He knew that life was joy-filled, but when he was in a temple, turning tables over that was not a joyful moment. There are times when you have to work towards joy. I think that that's where you have to put those practices in place. It's what works for me, it's not going to work for somebody else. You just have to do what you do.
Carrie M Holt 37:08
It made me think about it, so I was just listening to a podcast where John Eldredge was interviewed. He just came out with a book called Resilient. I ordered it right away, after listening to this podcast. He was basically talking about, we're in a stage right now post, mostly post COVID, where we are not willing to acknowledge our losses. Everyone is running after the next trip. Our airfare travel or airplane travel is the highest that it's ever been in history because everyone is just searching for that next vacation. We're working so hard to get the time back that we've lost. I think as special needs moms, we can really identify with that because we lose time in the hospital, we lose time during the day dealing with our child's behavior, their medical care, and everything. One of the things that he talked about is that we have to stop hiding from our sadness and our grief. If you've been around the podcast very long, you know that this is my platform, and this is something that I shout from the rooftops. He said something about how we have to be willing to admit that our grief is not going to swallow us and that if we allow ourselves to feel the sadness and name our losses, grief is not going to swallow us. In fact, he said when we don't allow ourselves to feel the sorrow over our losses, that grief turns inward and causes more anxiety, depression, anger, rage, more addiction. When we actually lean into the grief, and allow it to be our friend, and to name our losses, and what we've lost is when there's healing in our soul, and release of that sadness and that sorrow. I think for me, that's been one of the things that I've learned is that joy is a process and joy is a practice, over time of learning to lean into the sorrow, lean into the sadness, and allow God to heal those deep places of loss in our lives.
Amy J. Brown 39:32
That's really good, Carrie. Thank you. Well, I want to wrap this up, and once again, say thank you to our listeners for hanging in there with us. It's the 100th episode. I feel like we should have confetti or something going on. Who would have known when I was towering over Carrie at the watering hole we would be doing this? As we wrap up once again, we're so grateful for you our listeners, and please reach out to us with any questions or any things you'd like to hear us talk about. Sara, would you mind closing this out in prayer today?
Sara Clime 40:03
Sure. Father, God, you are our heart, and you are our courage. We are so grateful for this journey that we are on even as difficult and as challenging as it is, we know that you will bring whatever we need to us. We know that we are in this together. We just ask that we can learn from each other and that we are courageous enough to take heart and just take that courage so that we can help find each other and grow those connections with each other. That we can find and grow those connections that matter and that honor you. We are so grateful that you are the center of our joy, and that we can work towards that and practice and work for the joy that we know is there with you. We just ask that you continue to be with us and our listeners and continue to fill our lives and those that we love and that are in our care with as much connection and hope and joy as we know that you have. We ask all of these things in your name, amen.