Take Heart

Persevering With Grit & Grace with Sara Clime

• Amy J Brown, Carrie Holt and Sara Clime • Season 3 • Episode 111

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There have probably been times you have persevered and were disappointed with the stress you felt, the way you responded, and its impact on those around you. What does it mean to persevere with grace? What could it look like to put yourself in a position to care for yourself and others, supported by a loving God, to handle your season gracefully? Listen to today’s episode with Sara, who reflects on gracious perseverance and how we can have more of it, especially as a mom with kids with disabilities. 

January 17, 2023; Ep. 111

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Show Takeaways: 

  • [1:03] Discover the two parts of perseverance
  • [4:29] Listen in to hear how God comes in as we persevere and His grace for us.
  • [6:07] Learn what it means to evaluate your circumstances, making it possible to persevere with grace.

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[0:08] Welcome to Take Heart, where our goal is to offer encouragement, give hope and insight, so you can flourish in your journey as a special needs mom. As we explore monthly themes, share inspiring stories and practical tips, our desire is for you to feel connected and encouraged. All of our resources, including an entire written transcript of this episode, is available on our website, www.takeheartspecialmoms.com. There are also quick links to anything we mentioned in this episode's show notes.

[1:03] Hi, this is Sara Clime, and thank you for joining me today for episode 111. This month, we are talking about perseverance. Once again, I found myself in a place in my life where I didn't quite know what to say to you today. I guess I don't know what it's like to not persevere or not push through. I got to thinking, what would it be like not to persevere? What does perseverance even mean? I mean, all my life, I have taken what life throws at me, and I do what needs to get done. Is that persevering? Is "keeping your head down" really what persevering is all about? Technically, the definition, according to dictionary.com is, "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement." I read that and thought, yep, that's persevering. It might not be pretty, but it's getting done what needs to get done. Isn't that what we do as moms and caregivers to those with disabilities? I mean, just moms in general, we do what needs to get done. Here's the big "but" that got me. The second part of that definition is "theology, continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation..." continuance in a state of grace to the end. I seriously reflected on my state of perseverance. I have always been a get-it-done kind of gal. As I said, it might not be pretty, but I get it done. That's not all that matters. It's not what we get done. It's how we get it done. Do we persevere with grace? And actually, let me change that. Do I persevere with grace? Do I persevere with grace to the end, and does that lead to eternal salvation? I mean, that's big. That puts me persevering in a different perspective. Now, I'm going to be completely honest here. I have debated even saying this as a Christian. Yes, eternal salvation is all that truly matters, and I wholeheartedly believe that. Y'all at three o'clock a.m. when my son needs something, and I haven't slept a whole night's sleep and who knows how long. I've heard my co-host, Carrie M. Holt, talk about sitting through the umpteenth surgery or my other cohost, Amy J. Brown, talking about some of the RAD issues she deals with. The eternal salvation type of perseverance isn't in the forefront of our minds at that moment at three o'clock AM when it's all I can do to just not run into the doorframe or in the surgery waiting room when Carrie is praying for her sweet boy to make it out of surgery, yet again. Amy's in the middle of a gut-wrenching behavioral issue, and she is simply trying to keep her family together. All she can do is think of that very next second; literally, eternity often slips our minds. I think that's just our situation's cold, hard reality and human nature. That's okay. God understands that. That's what is great about our God. He gets us because He created us. He also understands the pressures we are under. 

[4:29] How do we persevere with both sides of the definition, the grit, and the grace? That is what perseverance really is, in its truest and purest form. Perseverance is best done with a lot of grit and a whole lot of grace right up to the end. While I definitely don't have all the answers, obviously. I mean, come on. I just realized the grace part of this perseverance equation. Still, I can tell you how I've made it this far without going completely crazy, misplacing a child, or just being unkind...well, being totally crazy and unkind to people. Those might not be lofty goals to some, but those are pretty big goals for me. First, I try really hard not to compare myself to others, I try to run my own race. I try not to keep up with everyone else. It's not always been this way, and I fail at this often. But this is my race, and God is the only one who can run with me. He's the only one that is allowed to run that race, handing me that little cup of water and cheering me on. He's the only one that's telling me to pick up my pace or slow down, or telling me it's okay to keep going or to tell me that it's okay to take a break. He is the only one who can tell me exactly how I'm doing. I can always strive to do better. But perseverance, it's not about running someone else's version of what a good race is. Perseverance is running our race. It's running your race, the race God has carved out for you.

[6:07] Second, eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. When I have trouble persevering or pushing through, that usually means there is just simply too much on my plate. How often have you said to yourself, 'I should be able to do this, so and so does this, and so and so does this and more.' I usually can do this and not blink an eye, but it is overwhelming. Well, that's okay, too. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to be overwhelmed today when you weren't yesterday. You are allowed to get overwhelmed and take a timeout occasionally. You are allowed to ask for help. Give yourself permission to do things poorly. I always think back to the time. If you've ever heard me on past episodes, you've heard me talk about when I brought bags of potato chips to a PTA lunch for teachers. I was basically scolded. I was never asked to contribute again. That was perseverance and score. I nailed it. Let things go. Don't dwell on things. Did you get scolded by the uptight PTA mom, who told you to bring homemade persimmon chips with goat cheese bread? So what! Let it go. Seriously, yes, it rankles. Yes, you want to ask her what a persimmon is, and who in the heck would want that over a Lay's chip anyway. Whatever? Yes. You don't answer to her. She won't understand your life. Do you know what? Good. That means she doesn't hurt as you hurt. There is one less mom who was suffering, like what we suffer. Isn't that really, truly a gift? Let her have her buffet and homemade snacks. Let her walk through that day, her biggest stress being what is on that buffet table. We'll keep trying to get out of the house with shoes on our feet and having brushed our teeth. Then every time I see that mom, I will say a prayer of thanks that she has no clue what it means to persevere without persimmon chips. Okay, y'all, I apologize to anyone who likes persimmon chips. I mean, does anyone, and really if you do, email me, I'd love to know. Anyway, I digress. 

[8:25] The third thing, and this may seem like a hard one to hear, but it actually has helped me on more occasions than not. There will be times in your life when you don't have to push through. Sometimes you say forget it, and sit on the back porch with your feet up. Yes, you yelled at the kids, you lost your cool, you burned dinner, and everyone had to fend for themselves. The little one, you think, had a twinkie and an orange soda for dinner. They're all in front of the TV, and they've been there for about 40 minutes. It's okay. It happens from time to time. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. Give yourself that grace, and take a moment to reflect. I have asked myself plenty of times. Sara, what happened right before you jumped down your husband's throat? You weren't really mad that he put his jacket on the wrong hook. Right? Sara, what was the real problem? What happened before he put that coat on the wrong hook? Sometimes true perseverance is with your own thoughts and your own hangups. Sometimes we must push through our doubts, insecurities, fears, or needs. Sometimes that need is to be in control or the need to avoid messy emotions. Whatever we need to push through or persevere. One major thing that was reminding myself that I don't have to persevere all the time does; it puts it in perspective whose job it truly is to persevere during those hard times; who do I rely on when things get tough? Who do I rely on when I persevere or push through difficult moments? If I am relying always relying on my own power to "power through", then I am not relying on God, who is my ultimate source of power, my ultimate source of perseverance. 

[10:22] Father God, thank you for always being our source of perseverance, our steady persistence, and our course of action or purpose, despite difficulties or obstacles, or discouragement. More than anything, thank you for being that continued state of grace right to the end, leading us to that eternal salvation. God, there are moments and even seasons when we don't feel we can push through the difficult times. Help us to remember that we don't need to persevere alone. We were never meant to do that without you. Father also help us to remember that we have each other. We have each other in this community of strong, amazing women who know what it's like to run this race and who know what it's like to fight this fight. Father, I asked for your protection, your love, and your peace over these women and their families right now. 

[11:17] Thank you for joining us this week on Take Heart. Our prayer each week is for your heart to be encouraged. We are grateful you are walking on this journey with us. If you have any questions or comments, follow the links in our show notes. We love hearing from our listeners. Thanks for listening. Next week, Carrie, Amy, and I will be together to wrap up this month on perseverance.